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Decisions
by Lianne Burwell
January 1998
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Blair moaned. Skillful hands were stroking, bringing him to a fever 
pitch. His hips thrust, trying to embed his cock in a warm and welcoming 
mouth. As his orgasm was wrung out of him, he reached out and touched...

Flesh.

He opened his eyes to look in Jim Ellison's horrified ones. He reached 
out a hand, only to see Jim flinch, then run. Blair sat up and moaned. It 
looked like it was decision time, finally.

Almost a month ago he had woken up to find out that his wet dreams of the 
previous year had a very physical reason. Namely his partner, Jim 
Ellison. Cop. Ultimate straight man. As straight as Blair considered 
himself. But that didn't change the fact that Jim had been coming into 
his room at night and seducing him in his sleep.

Blair hadn't said a word about it since then. He was still trying to 
decide what to do about it. But now... Jim *knew* that he knew, and Blair 
was going to have to make his choice. Jim was his best friend, and he 
loved the man. But did he *love* him?

Decision time.

Blair got out of bed and went looking for his partner.

* * * * *

Jim was sitting on the end of his bed, horror plastered on his face. He 
didn't look up, as Blair came up the stairs and sat down beside him.

"Can you tell me about this?"

"I'm sorry..."

Blair reached out a hand and placed it on his arm. The warmth spread 
through him, but did not dissipate the cold knot of dread lodged in his 
stomach.

"Shhhh. I just need to know why."

He shook his head. "I'm not sure I can explain..."

"Just try."

He looked up into Blair's eyes, and was relieved to see not horror, no 
hate. Not even anger. Just confusion.

"I couldn't sleep."

"What??"

"I couldn't sleep. When I get a really bad case of insomnia, nothing 
seems to work. Only one thing helps... I need..." He faltered.

"You need..." Blair prompted.

"I need you..." It was so low that it could barely be considered a whisper. 
He couldn't bear to look at Blair, worried at what he might see. He 
couldn't decide what might be worst. Anger, disgust, fear, derision.
Hate...

Instead, strong fingers gripped his chin and forced his face around. The 
only thing he saw in those beautiful blue eyes was compassion... and caring.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"And risk losing you? I *couldn't*!" He opened his mouth to start 
apologizing again, but a finger laid across his lips stopped the words.

* * * * *

Blair stared into anguished eyes. Decision time. He thought of the warmth 
that had spread through him when Jim had said that he *needed* Blair. He 
wasn't sure just *what* Jim meant by "need", whether it was physical or 
emotional, but, at the moment, it didn't really matter. Jim needed him 
and he *wanted* to be needed. The rest could be worked out later.

Decision time.

He leaned forward, closing his eyes, and replaced the finger with his 
lips. The mouth under his opened with a moan, and they were kissing, 
hungrily.

Strong arms came up around him, and he moved into the embrace. He may 
not have considered this before meeting Jim Ellison, but it was *right*. 
He was sure of that now.

Decision made.

* * * * *

Blair tipped them both over onto their sides, still embracing, still 
kissing. He was naked, and sticky, but Jim was still wearing his boxers. 
Blair reached down to tug them out of the way. Jim kicked the fabric 
away from his feet, then pulled Blair even closer. His partner. His 
friend... His lover.

Both of them gasped at the feel of flesh against flesh. Blair had only 
his dreams to work with, and Jim had never allowed himself this much 
contact, fearing to wake the other man. But now fear was gone, and only 
passion was left behind. Jim was regaining the arousal that had faded 
when he realized that Blair was awake, and Blair was becoming aroused 
again.

They moved against each other, shivering at the sensations, mouths still 
glued together. Their tongues twisted around each other in a dance that 
was only broken for brief periods to take necessary breaths.

Then Jim pulled away, sliding down Blair's body to take his partner's 
cock back into his mouth. This time, he did not need to be worried about 
waking Blair, so he indulged himself, more than he had ever dared before. 
The taste of Blair filled his mouth, and the sight of the smaller man 
twisting on the sheets, begging for more, filled his eyes and ears. The 
smell of his arousal scented the air and the feel of his flesh was a 
delight. His lover was a feast for all of the senses.

Then Blair froze, his cock spurting in Jim's mouth, and Jim felt the 
last remnants of fear disappear, as Blair cried out his name. He moved 
back up to share a kiss.

Then Blair was reaching for him, and he couldn't last long. Quickly, he 
was filling his lover's pumping fist.

"Blair....." he sighed, as his eyes began to fall shut.

* * * * *

Blair reached down to snag the comforter, and pulled it up to cover them. 
Sleepy arms pulled him close, and Jim nuzzled at his neck. He stroked the 
other man's back gently.

"Shhhh. Sleep now. I'm not going anywhere." He closed his eyes to sleep, 
warm and content.

Decision made.

THE END