Presenting Supernatural: The Musical
Fandom: Supernatural
Category/Rated: S for Silly
Year/Length: 2006/~570 words
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit, only having fun.
Warning: Very silly and probably pointless
Author's Notes: Borrowed from West Side Story, and mutilated for no good reason
Dean
Dear kindly Eric Kripke,
You gotta understand,
It's just our bringin' up-ke
That gets us out of hand.
Our mom's a crispy critter,
Our father is a drunk.
Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks!
Sam and Dean
Gee, Officer Kripke, we're very upset;
We never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get.
We ain't no delinquents,
We're misunderstood.
Deep down inside us there is good!
Dean
There is good!
Sam and Dean
There is good, there is good,
There is untapped good!
Like inside, the worst of us is good!
Sam: (Spoken) That's a touchin' good story.
Dean: (Spoken) Lemme tell it to the world!
Sam: Just tell it to the judge.
Dean
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,
My daddy treats me rough.
He turns into a demon,
And gets me playing snuff.
He'd really like to kill me,
Which makes me kinda sad.
Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad!
John: (As Judge) Right!
Officer Kripke, you're really a square;
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed.
He's psychologic'ly disturbed!
Dean
I'm disturbed!
Sam and Dean
We're disturbed, we're disturbed,
We're the most disturbed,
Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed.
John: (Spoken, as Judge) In the opinion of this court, Dean Winchester is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home, just an ancient, gas-guzzler and no means to keep it running without turning to crime.
Dean: (Spoken) Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.
John: So take him to a headshrinker.
Dean (Sings)
My father is a demon,
My ma's an R.I.P.
My pastor's always plastered,
And Meg is chasing me.
I love my baby brother,
too well, I must confess.
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!
Pastor Jim: (As Psychiatrist) Yes!
Officer Kripke, you're really a slob.
This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job.
Society's played him a terrible trick,
And sociologic'ly he's sick!
Dean
I am sick!
Sam and Dean
We are sick, we are sick,
We are sick, sick, sick,
Like we're sociologically sick!
Pastor Jim: In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease!
Dean: Hey, I got a social disease!
Pastor Jim: So take him to a social worker!
Dean
Dear kindly social worker,
They say go earn a buck.
Like be a soda jerker,
Which means like be a schumck.
It's not I'm anti-social,
I'm only anti-work.
Gloryosky! That's why I'm a jerk!
Meg: (As Female Social Worker)
Eek!
Officer Kripke, you've done it again.
This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen.
It ain't just a question of misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, he's no good!
Dean
I'm no good!
Sam and Dean
We're no good, we're no good!
We're no earthly good,
Like the best of us is no damn good!
John (As Judge)
The trouble is he's crazy.
Pastor Jim (As Psychiatrist)
The trouble is he drinks.
Meg (As Female Social Worker)
The trouble is he's lazy.
John
The trouble is he stinks.
Pastor Jim
The trouble is he's growing.
John
The trouble is he's grown.
Sam and Dean
Kripke, we got troubles of our own!
Gee, Officer Kripke,
We're down on our knees,
'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease.
Gee, Officer Kripke,
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Kripke,
Krip you!
The End
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