Title: Weekend Retreat
 Author/pseudonym: Candy Apple
 Rating: MAO
 Pairings: J/B

 Status: NEW
 Date: 7-4-98
 Series/Sequel: Story 7 of the New Beginnings Series


 Disclaimers: Jim and Blair aren't mine, much to my disappointment. 
They belong to Pet Fly, Paramount, and a host of other folks.  I'm just
letting them enjoy themselves for a while! :-)

 Summary: Jim and Blair escape for their long weekend.

 Warnings: Just some MAO stuff between two guys who love each
other.



WEEKEND RETREAT

by 

Candy Apple


     "I still can't believe you got up before dawn and loaded
everything before I got up," Blair said, shaking his head and pulling on
his socks. //He looks so perfect sitting there on the bed--on *our* bed,
where he always belonged,// Jim thought, smiling.  "What?"  Blair was
smiling back now.

     "Nothing.  I'm just in a good mood.  This vacation is just what
we both need."

     "Amen to that.  As long as swimming isn't high on your list, I'm
there, man," Blair quipped, laughing a little as he got up off the end of
the bed and went to the dresser to grab his wallet.

     "That's not funny," Jim responded quietly.

     "Jim...  If I can't ever laugh about it...it's too...grim."  Blair
tucked his glasses in the pocket of his shirt, fully expecting to be called
on for navigation duties very early in the trip.

     "I guess I can't joke about that.  Not yet.  Maybe not ever."  Jim
picked up his jacket from where it was lying on the bed and headed
downstairs.  

     "I'm sorry, Jim.  I didn't mean to say something insensitive,"
Blair replied, hurrying down the steps after his partner.  "It's just...it
kind of...overwhelms me sometimes what happened.  If I can laugh
about it, even a little, it isn't quite as...scary."  The last word came out
as little more than a whisper.  Jim froze in his tracks near the door and
turned back to face Blair.  He pulled his lover into his arms and held
him tightly.

     "I understand.  I really do, Chief.  I just can't find anything
funny about almost losing you."

     "I know.  It's not *funny* exactly.  It just helps to lighten up a
little sometimes."

     "Hey, we better get a move on."  Jim pulled back, smiling down
at Blair.  "Did I tell you yet this morning how much I love you?"  he
asked softly, framing Blair's face with his hands.
     
     "I already know, but you can always tell me again."  Blair
leaned into Jim's hand, turning his head to kiss the palm as Jim's other
hand stroked lightly over Blair's hair.

     "More than I can ever tell you, sweetheart," Jim whispered,
leaning in for their first prolonged kiss of the morning.  

     "I love you too," Blair finally replied, moving away.

     "Okay, let's get going.  The sooner we get there, the sooner we
can fool around."  Jim flexed his eyebrows as he grabbed his keys out
of the basket.

     "Sounds like motivation to me."  Blair laughed a little as he
followed Jim out the door.

********

     "Jim, if we're going to find a campsite, I'm telling you, we
should have turned back there."

     "Relax, Chief.  I know what I'm doing."

     "Is this some kind of shortcut?"

     "Nope.  We're right on track.  Trust me."

     "Okay."  Blair sighed in resignation and leaned back in the seat
to enjoy the scenery.  

     Jim turned off the main road and began following a dirt road
that was little more than a healthy set of tire tracks leading into the
woods.  As the truck rumbled over the washboard road and followed
the path back into the trees, Blair wondered if his partner was planning
on doing the fooling around first and the rest of their trip later.  Why
else would he drive back in the trees in the middle of nowhere?

     His questions were soon answered as the trees began to give
way to a clearing, and in the clearing stood a charming little wood and
stone cottage, complete with a tall stone chimney, that was probably
attached to a pretty impressive fireplace from the looks of it.  

     "Jim--what...?"

     "What do you think, pal?"

     "It's beautiful, but--"

     "But what?"

     "I thought we were going camping?"

     "We are.  We're just going to sleep in a nice, soft bed and enjoy
indoor plumbing while we do it.  Let's take a look around, huh?"

     "You rented this place for us?"  Blair asked, getting out of the
truck and walking around the front of it to slide his shoulders under
Jim's outstretched arm.  He hooked an arm around Jim's waist and fell
into step with him up to the deck, which he soon discovered wrapped
all the way around the small cabin.  "Oh wow!"  Blair exclaimed,
slipping out from under Jim's arm and following the deck to check out
the view behind the cabin.  
          
     The deck overlooked a long slope of grass and trees that led in a
steady decline to a small strip of sand on the edge of a lake just visible
through the trees.

     "Nice view, huh?"  Jim opined, joining his partner near the
railing.  

     "It's beautiful.  So cool and shady and peaceful."

     "Let's check out the inside."  Jim moved toward the front door
again, and Blair followed him.  He opened the screen door and
unlocked the wood door behind it.  As soon as he stepped into the
shadowy room, he found the windows easily and pulled open the blue
plaid curtains to let in the daylight. 

     The living area was one large room that included the living
room with its impressive stone fireplace, a big leather couch, two
chairs and a table arranged cozily in front of it, an eating area with a
table and chairs, and the cheerful kitchen with its white appliances and
yellow curtains.  The wood floors were accented with rugs, the walls
paneled in knotty pine.  

     "I think the bedroom and bathroom are in here," Jim explained,
opening a door at one end of the room and leading Blair into a large
square room which housed a heavy oak dresser, what appeared to be a
small closet, and a king-sized bed with a carved oak headboard and a
heavy patchwork comforter.  The sun was trying to sneak in through
the drapes that covered what appeared to be a lot of glass.  Jim crossed
the room and pulled the cord, opening the drapes to reveal patio doors
and full length windows on either side, opening onto the deck and
overlooking the view behind the house.

     "How did you find this place?"  Blair asked, all smiles as he
moved to join Jim at the windows, taking in the expanse of languidly
swaying trees and sloping lawn.

     "A friend of Stephen's."  Jim opened another door, and they
were pleasantly surprised to find a very modern bathroom with a huge
garden tub complete with two shower heads.  "He was relocating, had
to give the place up."

     "He was renting it?"  Blair was back in the bedroom, running
his hand along the carved headboard.

     "Nope.  He sold it.  To me."  Jim leaned against the bathroom
door frame and smiled, crossing his arms in front of his chest and
waiting for Blair's reaction.

     "This is yours?"  he asked, stunned.

     "No.  This is *ours*.  Both our names are on the deed.  It's not
too far from Cascade, so we can slip up here most any time we have a
couple days off.  In the nice weather, we can make it up here for an
occasional overnight stay even if we don't have time off."

     "I love it...it's so...peaceful!  And cozy.  That fireplace!"  Blair
was moving through the little cabin now with all his usual enthusiasm,
Jim following him with an indulgent smile while he explored.  "It's
really ours?"  Blair turned away from his inspection of the fireplace.

     "All ours, sweetheart."  Jim caught the armload of flying Blair
that headed his way, hugging his partner and lifting his feet a couple
inches off the ground.  

     "I love it!  How'd you know I'd love it?  Thank you!"

     "No.  Thank you for being here to share it."  Jim closed his eyes
and held Blair tightly.  "None of this...would be worth anything without
you, baby."

     "I'm here, Jim.  I'm fine."  Blair was quiet a moment, just
enjoying the closeness.  "I love you."

     "I love you too, Chief."  Jim finally released Blair from his
arms, smiling.  

     "This is *so* much better than camping!"

     "I thought our first time deserved a lot better than a sleeping
bag on the ground."  Jim stroked Blair's cheek lightly with the backs of
his fingers.  "And we need someplace to escape."

     "Yeah."  Blair smiled happily at the thought of leaving all of
Cascade on the other side of their stand of trees with the rest of the
noisy, demanding world.  "We should unload the truck."

     "Not much to unload with none of the usual camping gear to
worry about."  Jim led the way back outside, where he yanked back the
tarp covering the "gear" in the back of the truck.  Most of the items
there were cartons containing various provisions and household items
to stock the house.

     After about an hour of unloading the truck and stocking the
cupboards with food and the refrigerator with a few key items Jim had
packed in large coolers, the two men moved out to the deck and sat
snuggled together on the big porch swing in the back, sharing a bottle
of beer they passed back and forth.  A light, cool breeze off the lake
rustled the leaves and danced over them.

     "There are a couple things I think we need to talk about, Chief."

     "Hmm?"  Blair's brain seemed to have gone on vacation with
him as he swayed in the swing, head on Jim's shoulder, body totally
relaxed.

     "Since we got together, we haven't...  Well, we've been waiting. 
And before anything happens, we should probably talk some things
over."

     "Like what?"

     "I used protection when I was with Lila," Jim said quietly.  "I
tested negative about three weeks ago."

     "I've always used protection, and my tests have all been
negative.  I just had all that blood work in the hospital, so you know
everything was still checking out as of a couple weeks ago."  Blair
straightened a little to look at Jim.  "I don't plan on ever being with
anybody else except you again."

     "Same here, sweetheart."  Jim kissed Blair's forehead and pulled
the smaller body close against him again.  "We're okay to go
unprotected with each other then."

     "Definitely."  Blair smiled, closing his eyes again and letting the
light breeze wash over him.  "Have you thought a lot about it--what it's
gonna be like?"

     "Sure."

     "What did you visualize?  I mean, I visualize us making love,
but I don't know what I'm really thinking is gonna happen.  We're both
naked, hands and mouths going everywhere.  But I just haven't thought
through the details."

     "I have."

     "Wanna share?"  Blair prodded, a smile in his voice.

     "Nope.  I've gotta have *some* surprises left for tonight."

     "Do you know about...have you ever...  Man, is this awkward."

     "Just ask it, baby.  You can ask me anything."

     "Have you ever gone in the back door with a woman?"

     "No."

     "Terrific.  Me either.  I mean, I put a finger there once or twice,
but that was it.  Other than where to look for the hole, I don't know
what the hell I'm doing."

     "That's 99% of the battle right there, Chief."  Jim laughed a
little, squeezing Blair's shoulders.

     "I'm serious about this, Jim.  We could hurt each other if we
don't know what we're doing."

     "Look, we both know we're inexperienced.  We don't have to
pretend to know what we're doing.  We'll just take our time and be
careful."

     "I've just heard that...it can really hurt the first time."

     "I trust you.  You're not going force the issue and hurt me.  I'm
not worried about it."

     "Wait a minute."  Blair straightened up again and turned to face
Jim.  "You mean you want me to...?"  Blair's eyes were a little wide
when he asked the question.

     "Yes, I do," Jim responded in a quiet but firm voice.

     "I thought probably..."  Blair shrugged.

     "You thought I was going to take you first?"  Jim watched as
Blair nodded.  "I've been doing a lot of taking over the last few years,
Chief."  Jim toyed with a windblown curl that fell on Blair's forehead. 
"I said some things to you...some things about not trusting you..."

     "Jim, you explained that.  You apologized.  There isn't anything
else anyone could ask from you to make up for that."  There was still a
trace of pain in Blair's eyes and in his voice when they talked about
their falling out that belied his words.

     "If I can trust you with this, maybe you'll understand how little
the things I said in that argument really meant."

     "I don't want you doing this to prove something to me.  Making
love shouldn't be about that.  It should be about love.  Period."

     "That's what it's about, sweetheart.  I love you, and I *want* this
to happen this way."

     "When I think about what we almost lost..."  Blair shuddered. 
"They say it's always darkest before the dawn."  

     "It's dawn now.  We got through the dark part."

********

     The two men grilled steaks on the gas grill on the deck, and ate
at the picnic table in the yard beside the cabin.  As the sun started
setting, they moved back to the deck where Jim set a portable stereo on
one of the benches near the railing, starting up a CD of soft, romantic
instrumental music.  

     "Dance with me?"  He held a hand out to Blair, who moved into
his arms with a smile.
     
     "I still can't believe this is our place."

     "Our retreat from the world," Jim added, smiling into Blair's
hair.  

     "We're probably going to need one.  We haven't been back to
work since the party."

     "Don't worry about that, Chief.  We'll be okay."  Jim tightened
his hold on his lover.  "Our friends'll accept us, and the rest can figure
will just have to deal with their prejudices."
     
     "We'll have to deal with them too."

     "I think we're up to it."

     "I just want to be sure you know what you're getting into."

     "I'm getting a second chance with you that I probably don't
deserve."

     "I'm just glad we're together again.  I hated being apart, and I
hated the strain between us even more."
     
     "Think maybe we should go try out that big tub?"

     "Ooh, yeah," Blair responded, grinning and flexing his
eyebrows.  

     "You grab the tunes, I'll get the bubbly."

     "Are we talking about bubble bath or champagne?"  Blair asked,
picking up the small stereo by its handle and following Jim inside.

     "Both."

     Meeting again in the bathroom, they slowly undressed each
other, kissing and caressing each little bit of flesh as it was exposed. 
With the warm water rising in the tub, Jim pulled a bottle out of the
small travel bag he'd brought into the bathroom and poured some liquid
into the bath.  The bubbles started forming immediately, the light, fresh
rain-scent rising from the water.  

     When the tub was full, the two men stepped into it, settling into
the warm water, shifting around until Blair sat on Jim's lap in the
water, his legs wrapped around the larger man's hips.  As their mouths
locked together, wet hands slid over slick flesh, fully exploring each
other and reveling in the first experience of being completely skin on
skin together.

     Finally breaking apart a bit, the two men began a clumsy
approximation of bathing each other, finally resorting to the bath
sponges Jim had brought in his bag.  Using their hands was a bit too
distracting.  

     "You are *so* gorgeous," Blair breathed, sliding the sponge
along a powerful arm.  He tossed the sponge aside and caressed the
slick skin with his fingers.  "You're perfect."

     "Far from it, sweetheart," Jim replied, laughing a little.  "You
take my breath away," he added, becoming serious.  "Lie back.  I want
to wash you, baby."  Jim moved over his lover as Blair leaned back
against the slanted side of the tub, spreading his legs as his hardening
shaft begged for attention.

     Jim lathered his hands with the bath gel, and began teasingly
massaging Blair's thighs under the water.  The younger man's arms
came up on the sides of the tub, his hands grasping at the edges.  A
little grunt came out of the back of his throat as his legs spread farther
apart and he arched his body with a ripple of excitement.

     "You're getting close, baby," Jim opined, gently massaging
Blair's balls with a soapy hand.  His lover cried out then, arching up
away from the hard porcelain beneath him, moaning with pleasure.  

     "Oh, God, Jim...do something..."  Blair managed, thrusting his
hips to the rhythm of Jim's caresses.  A slick hand closed over his
weeping cock, pumping it while the other hand continued its devilish
business with the velvety sacs it had been teasing.  Blair's body
suddenly stiffened and with a shout of Jim's name, he spurted his
completion into the soapy water and Jim's milking hand.

     "Don't slide down, baby," Jim admonished, catching Blair's
boneless body as he slid farther down into the water, gathering him
close for a passionate kiss.  His own erection was poking Blair
assertively as they kissed, demanding his attentions.

     Blair didn't deny it long.  Regaining a little of his own
equilibrium, he slid his hand down beneath the water and found the
straining length, stroking and pumping it while his lips and tongue
tasted the wet skin of Jim's neck and chest, finally fastening on a
nipple.

     "Oh, yeah..."  Jim groaned, moving in time with Blair's strokes,
his own hands sliding down to cup Blair's buttocks and knead them
gently.  When Blair's hot mouth closed over Jim's other nipple, bring it
to the same hardness as its mate, the larger man let out a strangled
groan as his climax tore through him.  Clutching Blair against him, he
slid back down in the water, his back resting against the slanting side
of the tub.

     "Wow," was Blair's only breathless comment.

     "Same here," Jim replied languidly, chuckling a little and
cuddling Blair close.  "Love you."

     "Love you too," Blair agreed, hanging onto Jim like a wet, hairy
starfish as he lay atop his lover.

     "If the appetizer is this good, I can't wait for the main course." 
Jim freed one arm from clutching Blair to run through the water.  "It's
getting a little cool in here.  How about bed?"

     "It's so...real now," Blair said softly, not moving.  "The feelings
were there, but now...it's like I can really believe in it.  It's not just a
dream anymore.  I wanted this for so long."

     "Me too, baby.  Me too."

     "I was beginning to think the physical side wasn't...going to
work or something."

     "What made you think that?"  Jim frowned and looked down at
his partner.

     "All the time I was better, and we weren't...doing anything. 
You weren't making any moves to touch me, and I thought maybe...
well, I knew you still loved me, but I thought maybe the sex part was
sort of...gross to you when you really thought about it."

     "Never.  But I didn't want any distractions from making love
with you.  I wanted to be able to enjoy it knowing you were okay and
had a clean bill of health.  You just got that the day before yesterday at
your last doctor's appointment."

     "Jim?"

     "What, sweetheart?"

     "Can we make a promise that...if there's something in the
future...something that really is a big problem...that we'll talk about it
together?  Fight if we have to?  But I don't want to ever walk away
again.  Not angry.  Not at odds.  I don't think I could stand that now.  I
didn't think I'd make it through when it happened before, but now...I
know I couldn't handle it."

      "We're not going to mess up again. *I'm* not going to mess up
again."

     "You didn't do it alone.  I didn't handle things perfectly either."

     "I shut you out of my life.  Closed the door on our friendship--on everything we'd shared for
three years like it was nothing because of
one falling out.  Worst of all, I hurt you on purpose.  I said the things I
said to you because I wanted to see you hurting.  I wanted to lash out at
you because what I perceived as a betrayal, hurt me.  So I wanted to get
you back.  I know now you were trying to juggle an impossible
situation with two sentinels and no guidebook to tell you what to do
with two of them.  How to deal with putting us together.  You were
struggling through it the best way you knew how.  But I couldn't see
that then."

     "When I left the station that day..."  Blair took a deep, but
shaky, breath.  "I didn't know where to go.  I went to the U because I
had been just...driving around.  I ended up on Prospect before I
remembered I couldn't go home, and then I started crying, and I
couldn't see where I was going very well, so I went to my office and
just...sat there.  I slept in the overstuffed chair in the corner there for a
couple hours, and then I got up and just sat at my desk.  I couldn't
work, and everything had...shattered so completely...  When Alex
showed up, I was scared, but I honestly couldn't think of too many
reasons why my death would be any great tragedy.  I guess I was more
afraid of the pain and the moment of death than I was afraid of going.  I
didn't want to be here anymore anyway."  Blair moved up to look Jim
in the eyes.  He found his tears mirrored there.  "I'm not saying this to
put some kind of guilt trip on you.  I just need you to understand that...I
can't handle you shutting me out.  I can take anything else.  Yell at me,
give me the cold shoulder, throw things, whatever.  Just don't...push me
away again."

     "Never again."  Jim pulled Blair closer to kiss his forehead.  "I'll
never hurt you that way again, baby."  Closing his arms around Blair,
Jim held him there for a few minutes, sealing the promise with their
closeness.  "You'll always be close to my heart, where you belong," he
whispered in Blair's ear.

********
     
     After toweling off, they moved to the bedroom and poured two
glasses of champagne from the bottle that was resting in an ice bucket
on the nightstand.  Climbing into bed, snuggling their naked bodies
together under the comforter as the cool night air wafted in the large
open window, they toasted their future, each other, and the night ahead.

     The champagne was soon abandoned in favor of tasting each
other.  Knowing the role Jim had chosen for the night, Blair soon very
subtlely took the lead, moving down Jim's body as the other man lay on
his back.  Blair left a hot, moist trail down the firm, smooth chest with
eager lips, stopping to tease the pert nipples he had found so responsive
during their bath.  Jim's hands came up and tangled in Blair's hair,
encouraging him to focus his attention on the hard little peaks.

     Blair finally looked up at Jim under heavy lids and gave him a
decidedly seductive smile as he stuck his tongue out and trailed the tip
of it lightly down the center of Jim's chest to his navel, swirling around
it and then fastening his mouth on the tender skin just beneath it,
working on a large passion mark.  He was rewarded with a moan and
an undulation of the big body at his mercy.

     "You're gonna kill me, Chief," Jim gasped breathlessly, his legs
spreading wider on either side of his tormentor.  The erection poking
Blair in the chin backed up Jim's warning.  

     "You're not going to come yet, are you, lover?  You're going to
let me love you."

     "Anything...you want," Jim panted, his cock seeming to become
even harder at Blair's gentle show of just a hint of domination.

     "I only want you," Blair replied in a husky tone, slipping further
down the bed, nuzzling the wiry hair at the base of Jim's impressive
cock with his nose and mouth.  He nibbled and licked at the tender skin
of Jim's inner thighs, noting Jim's white knuckles as he clutched at the
sheets on either side of them.

     Feeling it was time to move a little closer to their ultimate goal,
Blair slid his hands under Jim's thighs and encouraged the other man to
draw his knees up, completely exposing himself.   Jim groaned and
thrust upward at the suggestion, finally following the directive.  

     Blair had never rimmed a lover in his life.  He'd never really
had the desire to do so, and he wasn't positive if he was going to enjoy
doing it now.  Presented with Jim in such a vulnerable position, his
heart dictated his moves, and he leaned forward and tentatively
touched his tongue to the little pucker there.

     "Oh my God," Jim panted.  "Blair..."

     "Love you," Blair whispered against the flesh of Jim's perineum,
having no doubt the sensitive ears would pick up the whisper even
from this distance.  He licked at Jim's center a few times, then carefully
probed it with the tip of his tongue.

     "Ungh...baby...  Want you..."  Jim managed.

     "Turn over, lover," Blair instructed softly, moving out of the
way as Jim complied with the directive, beyond thinking for himself.  

     Glad he'd read a few erotic books in his life, Blair drew on their
limited educational value as he crawled up the bed and grabbed a
couple of pillows which he positioned beneath Jim to raise his ass off
the bed.  

     "You're incredible, lover, you know that?"  Blair whispered in
Jim's ear.  Letting a hand gently rub over the expanse of muscled back,
he added, "I love you so much, babe.  You're all mine."

     "Yours," Jim agreed, spreading his legs in invitation.  

     Blair bit his lip and took a deep breath.  The sight of Jim in this
position, waiting for him, was enough by itself to drive Blair over the
edge to his own completion.  Calling on all his powers of mind over
matter, Blair worked to calm his breathing and reminded himself that
his own gratification was a long way off.  He was about to enter virgin
territory with Jim, and to perform an act that had the potential to leave
his lover sore at best and injured at worst.

     With his renewed calm, Blair found the lube that had been
stashed under the pillows and returned to his position between Jim's
spread legs.  

     "Sometimes I can't believe how...incredible you are," Blair said
softly, holding the tube in his hands to warm it.  "I'm so glad you love
me."  Blair didn't keep his lover waiting any longer.  He coated his
finger with the gel and ran it lightly along the valley between Jim's
cheeks.  He was rewarded with a groan as Jim tried to open himself
further, grinding his erection against the pillows supporting him.  "Just
relax, love.  It's just my finger for now."

     Taking a deep breath, Blair added more of the lube and
carefully probed the tight pucker with the tip of his finger.  He was
shocked when Jim thrust back against the invader, driving Blair's finger
in to the second knuckle.

     "Move it, baby," Jim ordered in a strained voice.  

     Motivated and encouraged by his partner's obvious enthusiasm,
Blair began probing and stretching the tight passage with his finger,
wondering if Jim would make it through the preparations without
reaching his climax.  

     "Just do it, Chief."

     "Jim, I can't do that.  My cock is a hell of a lot bigger than my
finger.  I don't want to--no, I *won't* hurt you.  Not for anything." 
Blair stroked Jim's back and planted a kiss on one of the firm globes. 
"I'm going to try another finger.  If it gets uncomfortable, you let me
know."

     When Blair returned with two fingers, he found his lover just as
receptive as he'd been to one.  It became more and more difficult not to
"just do it" as Jim had requested as Blair watched the perfect body on
the bed writhing with passion, the tension of unanswered sexual need
bringing out the impressive musculature in vivid relief, the hips
rocking in shameless pleasure in time with the movements of Blair's
fingers.  Blair wasn't sure what seemed more surreal at that moment--that he was finally making
love to Jim or that Jim was not only willing
to let him top, but seemed to be enjoying it that way. 

     He withdrew the two fingers and before Jim had time to grunt
in frustration, returned with three, stretching the little opening as much
as he felt he dared.  Jim was a bit quieter and less frantic at the
moment, seeming to need time to adjust to this new level of intrusion
into his body.

     "Relax, lover.  I'm not rushing things.  Take your time and get
used to the feeling.  Just relax, " Blair soothed, stroking Jim's lower
back slowly.  There was an almost unnatural stillness about the other
man, and suddenly it washed over Blair that he had lost Jim in a zone-out.  "Jim."  Blair stilled
the moving fingers, not wanting to shock the
other man by yanking them out completely when he was so focused on
them, but also needing to reduce the stimulus that had fully captured
the sentinel's attention.  "Jim, follow my voice.  Come on, man, focus
on me.  Come on, Jim, snap out of it, lover," Blair said softly, still
petting Jim's back.

     "Blair?"  The voice as a little bewildered.  Neither Blair's
fingers nor Jim's body were in motion at the moment.  Everything had
been suspended.

     "You back with me, love?"  Blair asked gently, planting a kiss
at the base of Jim's spine.

     "Oh, yeahhh," Jim responded.  "You were teaching me to reach
new levels of patience," he ground out, thrusting back against Blair's
inert fingers.

     "You ready for me now?"

     "Do it, baby."

     Blair withdrew the fingers and coated his own straining shaft,
then crawled up close to Jim, aligning himself with the opening that
still looked too small to accommodate him.  He pushed in just past the
initial resistance, and froze at Jim's indrawn breath.

     "Love you, babe.  Relax.  I won't move until it feels good," Blair
forced out past the overwhelming passion he felt at being partially
sheathed in the tight passage.  They would not be fully joined until they
progressed through several small steps together, and Blair finally found
himself pressed against the firm buttocks, his cock squeezed in a vise
of ecstasy.  "How're you doin', lover?"  Blair asked in a voice that he
hoped belied the agony he felt at the lack of motion.

     "You were right," Jim panted.  "It's bigger than your finger," he
concluded with a constrained little chortle.

     "Let yourself relax."  Blair closed his eyes and tried to picture
something asexual while he stroked Jim's back soothingly.  Thinking
about how he'd feel if he hurt Jim was enough to calm him to wait as
long as it took.  "Remember that it's all about our love, babe.  I love
you so much.  Being inside of you is...there are no words.  We're a part
of each other now, love."  Blair could feel the steel bands relaxing
slightly, and Jim experimentally moved his hips.  As the larger man
raised up, Blair slid a hand under him and found Jim's slightly faltering
erection, pumping it firmly.

     "Move, baby.  I'm okay," he whispered.  Blair accepted the
invitation, moving slowly back and then sliding back in again, keeping
up a slow, steady pace until he felt Jim really moving with him, and
heard the first grunts that could be interpreted as pleasure mingling
with his own voice.

     //It's happening,// Blair thought, his heart swelling with the
knowledge of what this moment was, and that it was finally here.
//We're making love.  We're part of each other...  He's all mine now...
Nothing can split us up ever again.//

     Jim was thrusting up eagerly now to meet Blair's strokes and at
the same time tried to thrust himself into the hand that stroked his rigid
cock.  The pace became firmer and faster, until Blair found Jim's
prostate and began angling his thrusts to massage the little nub until
Jim cried out Blair's name and the contractions of the passage
surrounding Blair signaled his climax.  With a few more long strokes,
Blair let out a cry that could only be called primal as he filled his
lover's body with his seed, milked by the last of Jim's spasms.

     Exhausted, Blair slumped bonelessly onto Jim's back, finding
the strength to slide his hands up sweaty sides to rest on Jim's
shoulders.  His lips planted little kisses on the flesh underneath them.

     "I love you," he said quietly, knowing there weren't the right
words for all he really felt.

     "Love you too, sweetheart."  Jim looked over his shoulder at
Blair, smiling a little at the drowsy blue eyes that were regarding him
so gravely. 

     "Are you okay?"

     "Oh yeah," Jim replied, still smiling.  "More than just okay."

     "Did I hurt you?"

     "No more than you had to, Chief.  It was beautiful.  Now get up
here where I can get my hands on you."

     Blair carefully withdrew his spent cock from Jim's body,
relieved not to see any traces of blood there.  He crawled up on his side
as Jim turned on his side so they were facing each other.  

     "That was...Jim, I can't find words.  How am I ever going to tell
you what it meant to me to make love to you that way?"

     "I know what it meant to feel you do it.  And there aren't words,
baby.  So we have to just know we both understand it."  Jim caressed
Blair's cheek.  "I thought you didn't know how to do this."

     "I guess love's a good teacher."  Blair snuggled against Jim,
their arms and legs tangling together.  He felt the strong arms tighten
around him just before they slipped into a peaceful shared slumber.

********

********

     Jim woke to a pesky ray of sunshine that seemed to target the
precise spot where his head lay.  As he shifted, he felt the telltale
soreness from the night before, but he also felt the steady thumping of
Blair's heart against his side where the smaller man still slept.  He felt a
sappy smile invading his face at the thought of a long weekend in
seclusion with his lover.

     As if on cue, there was a wet nibbling at his throat, and he
looked down at the curly-headed culprit who was working on a
considerable passion mark to claim his territory.

     "And you said *I* was territorial," Jim teased, rubbing Blair's
back and smiling down at the guilty grin that comment earned him. 
Blair ran his hand lightly over Jim's chest in a loving caress.  

     "Is this really happening?"

     "It's real."  Jim caught the hand and kissed every part of it
thoroughly, then kept it held tightly in his.  "Any regrets?"

     "Just that it took us this long to get here," Blair answered
honestly.  "I feel badly for all the time we've already missed.  I don't
feel like I ever was...alive...or in love...before last night."

     "We had to go through all the crap we did to get here.  To know
it was right for us."

     "How about you?"

     "Regrets?"  Jim clarified.  Blair nodded.  "Just that I hurt you so
badly.  That you had to feel the pain you felt, that you had to have the
terrible fear and pain of what Alex did to you.  That I pushed you away
and almost lost you forever."

     "That's all past."  This time, the light of happiness in Blair's
eyes had obliterated the lingering hurt Jim had seen there before they
made love.  "I meant about last night.  About...well, are you okay this
morning?"

     "I definitely know it happened," Jim responded, still smiling. 
"But I'm fine, sweetheart.  You couldn't have been any more careful.  It
was great."   Jim's hand snaked down under the covers and found
Blair's morning erection, stroking it gently.  As Jim shifted onto his
side, Blair returned the favor, pumping in a steady rhythm until they
came almost simultaneously, and tipped backward with Jim on top of
his lover, kissing him and plundering his mouth thoroughly.

     "Shower?"  Blair asked, smiling at the sticky, somewhat
disgusting state they were both in at the moment.

     "Great idea, sweetheart."  Jim wrapped his arms around Blair
and startled him by rising up to sit back on his heels, bringing Blair up
with him, the smaller man ending up sitting on Jim's thighs with his
legs on either side, his arms wrapped tightly around Jim's neck. 
"You're as gorgeous in the morning as you are at night, you know that?" 
Jim asked, nuzzling Blair's neck.

     "You're always gorgeous," Blair replied, pulling back.  "I never
thought I'd stand a chance with you."

     "Nobody else exists when you're around, baby.  Come on.  Let's
get cleaned up.  I thought we could spend a little time on the beach
today."

     "How many other places are around here nearby?" 

     "None nearby."

     "So we're talking a private beach?!"  Blair exclaimed, wide-eyed.  Jim smiled, thinking he
would have bought ten cabins just to see
that expression.

     "For several miles either way.  I mean, we don't *own* all that,
but there's nothing else around here, and we own enough of it than
when other people *do* build cabins or use the beach, we'll still be out
of sight."

     "How did you afford this?"

     "I decided to get over the attitude and start using some of my
trust fund."

     "Trust fund?"  Blair asked, wrinkling his brow.

     "My grandfather set up trust funds for Stephen and me.  They
were accessible to us as soon as we graduated from college.  I've just
let mine build up, reinvesting the income.  I wanted to establish my
own life.  I didn't want to owe my father anything."

     "But it was your grandfather's money."

     "But it was my dad's dad, and he was cut from the same cloth as
my father.  I couldn't very well turn up my nose at my dad's behavior
and then live off the money earned that way."

     "So what changed your mind?"

     "Part of it was smoothing things over a little with my old man,
and part of it was realizing how stupid it would be to leave that money
there to accumulate and be left to my estate when I die.  I thought
about the trips we could take together, the things we could do, the
experiences we could share thanks to that money.  I thought about the
security it gives us if things get too rough here now that we're out."

     "This must be a big trust fund."

     "Pretty big.  In excess of a million-five."

     "Dollars?!?!"  There were the saucer-eyes again.  Jim laughed.  

     "No, pennies.  Of course, dollars, Chief.  It started out at a few
hundred grand when I was a kid, and it was managed very well,
invested wisely, and in about thirty-five years, I've never disturbed it. 
He started them when Stephen was born and I was just a few years old. 
So it's grown."  Jim kissed Blair's startled mouth.  "So the next time
you can't get one of those grants you want, you come see me.  I
guarantee you the application process is a hell of a lot more fun."  He
patted Blair's butt.

     "You'd actually spend money on one of my research projects?"

     "As long it was one that really meant a lot to you.  Blair, that's
not *my* money.  It's *our* money.  With the exception of this place, it
isn't going to be used or reinvested without us both having a say in it."

     "I wouldn't want to use up your inheritance, Jim."

     "You wouldn't use it up, and it's not *mine*.  It's *ours*."
     
     "Just like being married."

     "Yeah, just like that."  Jim rubbed noses with Blair, sharing the
happy grin on his lover's face.  He had never told Carolyn about the
trust fund.  He knew she'd insist on him using it.  When her lawyer
found out about it during the divorce, he had advised her to go after
half of it.  Jim had always thought a great deal of his ex-wife for
surprising him and not doing that, obviously realizing that Jim had left
it untouched because of the rift between him and his family.  Plus,
Carolyn's pride would have prevented her from making a life supported
on the wealth of her ex-husband.

     "I want you to know that of any of the times I ever made love in
my life," Blair began, running his hand over Jim's heart, "last night was
the most beautiful.  It meant everything to me...just like you."

     "I feel the same way," Jim replied, kissing Blair's forehead.

     "I think that double-headed shower is calling our names."

     "Make that *screaming* our names.  We're starting to stick
together, baby."

     "We're going to be sticking together for a long time," Blair
responded, grinning before he pulled Jim back down on the bed.

********

End of this round ;-)