Title: ALWAYS, MY LOVE
Author/pseudonym: Candy Apple 
Email address: blair_lady@yahoo.com
Rating: MAO
Pairings: J/B

Status: NEW, complete
Date: 08-7-99
Archive: YES
Archive author: Candy Apple 
Archive email address: blair_lady@yahoo.com
Series/Sequel: Third in the Never My Love Series, sequel to "Soon"


Disclaimers: Pet Fly owns the guys and The Sentinel.  No money being
made. 

Notes: What was originally supposed to be one short story grew into
three.  Thanks to everyone who had nice things to say about the first
two stories.  This is all your fault. <g>

Please see WARNING below.

Summary: Jim and Blair enjoy their new relationship; Simon finds out
the truth about the Ferguson case.

WARNING:  **Negative** portrayal of the "discipline" of adults--
follows same storyline as "Imported Discipline" and "Soon".  If you find
a negative attitude toward disciplining adults to be offensive, you might
want to skip this one.

The Usual Warnings/Promises <g>: m/m and some language


ALWAYS, MY LOVE

by

Candy Apple


     Jim opened his eyes, momentarily surprised to have a warm,
heavy weight against his side.  Looking down at the head resting on his
chest and feeling the steady even thump of Blair's sleeping heart, the
memory of their first night together swept over him.  He smiled when he
felt the stockinged foot rub up and down his leg a little as Blair shifted
in his sleep.  Naked as the day he was born, Sandburg still had his
thermal socks on.

     Relishing this rare opportunity to catalog everything about
waking up with Blair, Jim opened up his senses, one at a time,
concentrating on each one in its turn.  There was the touch, first and
foremost.  The warmth, the slight dampness of sweat between them
from being nestled together all night, the varying landscape of Blair's
body--smooth skin, silky little body hairs covering the chest, groin and
lightly dusting the arms and legs.  There was soft skin and hard muscle,
a few little soft areas that Blair cursed when he was working out that
made him just right to cuddle, in Jim's opinion.  There was the slight
prickling of morning whiskers against the sensitive skin of Jim's chest.

     Next he let his sense of smell have its turn, picking up every little
nuance of Blair's scent.  His body, the residue of their sex that clung to
both of them--though he now praised himself for bringing that
washcloth back with him from his nocturnal bathroom run to keep them
from being painfully glued together.   Next he took in the bed-warmed
scent of Blair's hair that held traces of some shampoo with a variety of
natural ingredients, and there was some kind of...*stuff* in there to keep
it from frizzing up too much.

     Sight was one of his favorite senses to turn on Blair.  He picked
out each individual highlight in the long hair as the early morning light
started to enter the room.  He counted a few of the dozens of individual
dark lashes that contrasted with the sleeping face.  The subtle eyebrows,
the perfect features, the strong jawline.

     And those big blue eyes, and the smile that greeted his scrutiny,
that he couldn't help return.

     "Morning," Blair said sleepily.

     "Morning," Jim responded, smiling like the lovesick sap that he
was, kissing the end of Blair's nose.  "I just decided that you were
perfect."

     "You mean you had doubts before?"  Blair asked, his tone
injured before he gave in to a chuckle.

     "Not really," Jim added, smiling affectionately down at his lover. 
"I just hadn't had a chance to see everything, feel you like this..."

     "I was kidding, man," Blair said, blushing a little.

     "I'm wasn't.  You're beautiful, baby."

     "Compared to you?"  Blair chortled.  "Not hardly."

     "Compared to anyone," Jim said firmly, running his hand up and
down Blair's arm.  "Now don't argue with me.  I'll be hurt.  Deeply," Jim
teased, running one hand into Blair's hair.

     "We can't have that," Blair replied, laughing and climbing up on
top of Jim, straddling his body and moving into position for a deep kiss. 
"Guess who else is awake already," Blair quipped, his hand sliding down
to gently pump Jim's morning erection.  "The general's already at
attention," he teased, moving down in the bed until he was at face level
with the straining cock.  Judging by Blair's expression as he licked his
lips, and the organ's little responding twitch, they were very interested in
each other.  

     Before Jim could prepare himself for what was happening, he
was engulfed by a hot mouth.  It was a slightly awkward, inexperienced
mouth, but it enclosed the head of his cock in wet heat, tongue teasing
the slit.   A strong hand wrapped gently around the base.

     "Oh, yeah," Jim gasped out in encouragement, not caring if Blair
was any expert at this.  Whatever he was doing, it felt great, and all Jim
needed to get another surge of desire was to look down and see a naked
Blair hunched over his groin, those incredible lips wrapped around him,
sucking him a little clumsily and uncertainly.  His undoing came when
the younger man moaned low in his throat, sending the vibrations
through Jim's shaft, sentinel sense of touch picking up every little tremor
made by the sounds.  With a cry of Blair's name, Jim reached his climax,
Blair struggling to swallow everything he had to offer, showing no signs
of pulling back until he'd drained his lover dry.  Backing away with a
few little white droplets on his chin, Blair regarded Jim with a decidedly
smouldering look.

     "God, Chief...that...oh, man."

     "Okay for a beginner?"  Blair asked, languidly licking his lips.

     "It'll do," Jim responded, breaking into a little chuckle.  Blair
grinned at that, crawling up Jim's body and claiming his mouth, arms
wrapping around each other.  Blair groaned as his own straining arousal
was trapped between them.  "Let me take care of you," Jim said,
stroking Blair's cheek with the backs of his fingers.  

     "You don't have to do that if you're not ready."

     "Just be patient--my technique isn't too sophisticated."

     "And mine was?"  Blair chortled as Jim rolled them over so he
pinned the smaller man to the mattress.  

     "Worked for me, didn't it?"

     "Yeah, but you're a throwback, remember?"  Blair teased,
laughing.

     "Throwback?  Who're you calling a throwback, Sandburg? 
Huh?"  Jim demanded, laughing as he started mercilessly tickling Blair's
sides.

     "Okay, okay!"  Blair gasped through his own laughter, barely
catching his breath and getting his teeth out of the way in time for Jim's
mouth to descend on his.

     "Since we're on this caveman subject," Jim began, leaning up on
his elbows on either side of Blair's shoulders, "let's get something
straight.  You're mine.  Period.  You got a problem with that?"

     "Not as long as you're mine," Blair replied, his smile replaced by
a very solemn look of love as he reached up and traced Jim's lips with a
single finger.  "But if you drag me anywhere by my hair, I *will kill
you*."

     "Deal," Jim responded, laughing and kissing Blair again before
moving down toward his goal.  "He's a pretty impressive guy, Chief,"
Jim said, running a teasing finger up the underside of the rigid cock. 
Blair's whole body shivered at the touch.  

     "You know what they say--short men use the inches where they
count most."

     "Then by the looks of this monster, you oughtta be taller than
Simon."  As Blair laughed and blushed a little at that compliment, Jim's
tongue darted out to tease the now weeping slit, then swirled around the
head.  Having this intimate access to Blair was a novel experience, one
that Jim intended to enjoy to the fullest.  

     With Blair's legs spread, feet on the mattress, Jim situated
himself between the splayed knees, nuzzling and kissing his way around
the insides of Blair's thighs.  He moved to the waiting erection, a little
unsure of how to approach it.  Taking his lead from Blair's work on him,
he wrapped one hand around the base and engulfed the head in his
mouth, licking and sucking carefully, keeping his teeth from grazing the
sensitive skin.  One hand rolled and toyed with the heavy balls, enjoying
the constant moaning and the little broken cries of pleasure coming from
his lover.  When Blair came, it was rapid, and intense, his seed shooting
into Jim, who did his best to swallow as successfully as Blair had.  As
Blair lay there panting, legs still spread, Jim kissed the spent cock
goodbye and moved up to gather Blair into his arms.

     "Wow," Blair breathed against Jim's chest, nestling into the
embrace.

     "Yeah...*wow*," Jim echoed, smiling and rubbing Blair's back as
they held each other.  

     "Don't suppose I could talk you in to calling in sick today," Blair
wheedled.  That drew a little chuckle from Jim.

     "Sorry, sweetheart.  Simon wants us to have a go at the
Crenshaw case."

     "But that was Megan's case."

     "Well, it still is, but he wants her to have some help on it."

     "She oughtta love that," Blair grumbled.

     "About as much as we will, I imagine," Jim said, kissing Blair's
forehead again.  After a long silence, he said, "I'm sorry I didn't ask you
about protection.  I should have--"

     "Would you have let me swallow if you were worried about
anything?"

     "Never."

     "Okay then.  Neither would I.  I'm careful, my tests have been
fine, and I haven't really been with anybody in a while."

     "There was Veronica...but she was my last.  As much as anyone
can be sure, I'm okay."

     "Okay then."  Blair sighed happily against Jim's chest.  "I don't
want to get up today."

     "I don't want to ever get up."  Jim squeezed his lover's body
tightly.  "Just think how much fun it'll be coming home tonight?"

     "We better eat take outs in the car on the way home."

     "Planning to make a dead run for the stairs as soon as the keys
hit the basket?"  Jim asked, thinking of his own itinerary for the evening.

     "The shower, then the stairs."

     "Shower.  We could use one of those."  Jim raised his arm and
sniffed a little.  

     "Put it down!  I surrender!"  Blair shouted, wiggling away.

     "Oh, I suppose your armpits smell like fresh spring meadows in
the morning.  I got news for you, Chief."

     "Oh, so now I stink, huh?"  Blair teased

     "It's nothing compared to what we would have smelled like if I
hadn't washed us up after last night."

     "Oh, yeah...I was wondering why I wasn't stuck to you this
morning."

     "You slept right through it," Jim said, smiling warmly at Blair,
stroking his cheek with a gentle thumb.  "God, you were beautiful, lying
there, sound asleep, mouth open a little..."

     "I love you," Blair said softly, leaning into the touch of Jim's
hand.  "I'll be loving you with all my heart the very last minute of my
life, and when I get to the next place, the first soul I want to join with is
yours."

     "You're already the other half of my soul, sweetheart.  Without
you, I wouldn't have one."  Jim pulled Blair into a tighter hug, and felt it
returned.  Blair's indrawn breath was almost as shaky as Jim's own.  "I
love you, baby.  More than my life."

     "Love you too," Blair managed through a thickness in his throat.

********

     "I don't understand how Banks ever expects me to solve a case
successfully if every time one gets tricky, he brings in 'the big boys'." 
Megan shook her head as she sat across the conference table from Jim
and Blair.  Simon had left the office briefly to speak to the captain from
Vice, who had poked his head in during the meeting with Jim, Blair and
Megan. 

     "This is a major homicide case, Connor," Jim responded, looking
a bit exasperated.  "It's not a contest."

     "I don't think that's how she meant it, Jim," Blair interjected.  "I
mean, it *is* hard to prove yourself without being allowed to spearhead
anything on your own without a senior detective in on it."

     "That's precisely my point," Megan stated emphatically. "It isn't
that I don't appreciate your help or that I'm trying to win some...
*contest*.  But every time I get a major case, and it starts getting a bit
difficult, someone else is brought in on it."

     "If you want me to talk to Simon, I can try to get him to keep us
off this one."

     "Don't bother.  He'd only pair me with someone else, and I'd
rather it be you two if I have to share the case."

     "If it's any consolation, as far as we're concerned, it's still your
show," Jim said, leaning back in his chair, exchanging a little smile with
Blair, who looked nothing short of stunned, but pleased.  

     "Really?"  Megan asked, her face lighting up.  She shot a slightly
confused look at Blair, as if to ask who the alien was who had taken
over Jim's body.  

     "No need for us to be in charge--at least not in practice." 
Knowing the concession would make Blair happy, Jim had no problem
making it.  Megan was certainly a capable cop, and the only reason the
case wasn't solved was most likely because it was just a difficult case. 
Still, Jim preferred being at the helm of a major investigation for which
he'd end up having some responsibility with the brass.  Nonetheless, he
felt too mellow and too content with everything in his life at that
moment to split hairs over whose collar it would be when the case was
solved.

     "Sorry for the delay," Simon said, walking back into the office. 
"Are we all set on this?"  he asked, looking around the table as he took
his seat at it.

     "Fine, Sir," Megan spoke up first, followed by nods from Jim
and Blair.

     "Good."  Simon leaned back in his chair.  "Jim, I'd like you to
take the lead on this."

     "What about Megan?  This is her case," Blair protested.  

     "I hate to break this to you, Sandburg, but until I get the memo
that we've switched jobs, assigning cases is still up to me.  It's Jim's case
officially as of right now.  This is a very high profile case with a well-known 
victim."  Simon sighed.  "I'm sorry, Connor, but I have to show
the folks upstairs that I'm doing something about the lack of progress on
it."

     "She's only been on the case a week!  Forensics has had
practically *nothing* for her to go on.  If this were Jim, you wouldn't be
putting another detective in charge this fast and you know it."

     "Well, it isn't Jim.  Connor is an excellent detective, with a
proven track record, but she still has a few things to learn.  I'm surprised
you don't agree that Jim's the one to teach her."

     "This has nothing to do with Jim and you know it, Simon.  I'm
just wondering why you're so quick to take the reins away from her
before she has a chance."

     "I can speak for myself, Sandy," Megan spoke up.  "But thanks," 
she added, smiling a little.  "Captain, with all due respect--"

     "Hold it right there.  Any statement that begins that way is
probably not going to get you very far.  Do you still want to pursue
this?"  Simon watched Megan, who seemed to weigh her options briefly
but carefully.

     "Not at this point, sir."

     "Well I do," Blair said, pushing the issue until Jim subtly rolled
his eyes, managing not to let Simon see the gesture.  Blair was on a roll,
and Simon was feeling authoritative.  The two were not a good
combination.  "How is it right to make case assignments based on
politics?  If the victim is poor and unimportant, we don't take it as
seriously?  Come on, Simon--is that the message you want to give them
upstairs or anywhere else?"

     "Are you about finished, Sandburg?  Because I am," Simon
added, his voice leaving little room for argument.  When there was no
further response from Blair, he continued.  "Good.  Now, if there are no
more questions, you three have some detective work to do.  And I have
a meeting with the mayor."  Simon shook his head as he walked over to
his coat tree and retrieved his sport coat, sliding into it. Megan walked
out first, but Simon spoke just before Jim and Blair followed her. 
"Blair, you were way out of line on this one, and you know it," he said
calmly, adjusting his shirt cuffs under his jacket.

     "*I* was out of line?  I'm not the one rearranging case
assignments based on the wealth of the victim."

     "You know, there are days I really wish I could borrow a page
from Ferguson's personnel management techniques.  Maybe his methods
would have been more effective in teaching *you* a little respect for
authority--a concept you obviously haven't grasped after three years of
working for me!"

     "That's enough!"  Jim shouted angrily, moving in front of Blair
to be face to face with Simon, aggressively invading the captain's
personal space.  "I don't care if you're the fucking King of England,
don't you ever *dare* speak to Blair in that manner again.  Is that
clear?!"

     "Jim, what the hell's gotten into you?  Are you trying to make
me suspend you?"

     "You go right ahead, *sir*," Jim added, putting an ugly
emphasis on the title.  "Because right now, working for you is probably
the last thing I want to do.  And unless you apologize to Sandburg right
now, you can have my badge, and my gun, along with my resignation!" 
Jim shouted back.  

     "Jim, man, come on," Blair protested, taking a hold of Jim's arm
with both hands.  At that moment, he wasn't sure that the two men
wouldn't come to blows.

     "Ellison, I would advise you to listen to your partner here, and
think about what the hell you're doing.  If we weren't friends, Jim, you'd
be unemployed right now.  I don't know what...*thing* is going on with
you, if it's some weird sensory thing or--"

     "No, Simon, it's not some weird sensory thing," Jim shot back. 
"I'm not going to stand here and listen to you disrespect my partner with
remarks you have no right to make.  If that's grounds for dismissal, you
can fire me now, because I stand by everything I've said, and I have no
plans to apologize.  The only apology owed here is from you to Blair." 
Jim crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Simon, unwaveringly. 
The other man regarded him seriously for a moment, then walked
around him and headed for the door.

     "This isn't over," Simon added as he started out of the office.

     "Fine.  It is for me."  As Simon paused in the doorway, stunned,
Jim pulled out his badge and his gun and laid them on Simon's desk.

     "Jim...no..."  Blair protested weakly, moved almost to tears by
Jim's loyalty, but at the same time completely sure this was a move the
other man would regret the rest of his life--and over a remark that
should have passed as simple verbal muscle-flexing by Simon.

     "Does one of you want to tell me what the hell is really going on
here?"  Simon slammed the door of the office, pinning them both with
an angry glare.

     "You got your wish already, Simon.  I guess it just didn't help," 
Blair said quietly.

     "Chief, you don't have to do this.  Just let it go," Jim said,
placing a warm hand on Blair's back and rubbing a little.

     "Yes, Jim, I do."  Blair leaned into the solid warmth of Jim's
hand for the barest of instants before going on.  "The last night I was
undercover in Ferguson's operation, this jerk in the club made a pass at
me, and I got pissed off, and I dumped a tray of drinks on him."

     "Sounds reasonable," Simon responded, chuckling a little, a
moment of the tension broken.

     "Yeah, well, Ferguson didn't see it that way.  He called me into
his office after the club closed, and..."  Blair kept eye contact with
Simon a moment longer, then his eyes dropped to his hands, the fingers
lacing nervously together, fidgeting.  

     "The bruises just faded," Jim added softly, not wanting Blair to
have to say any more.

     "You didn't put any of that in the report," Simon frowned,
looking at Jim, who was more concerned with watching Blair, his hand
slowly rubbing the other man's back in a gesture of affectionate comfort.

     "I asked him not to," Blair said, looking up. 

     "For God's sake, why not?"  Simon asked, obviously angry anew
at evidence kept out of the cases, possible charges that could have been
brought against Ferguson not utilized.

     "Would you put that in a report?"  Blair asked, pinning Simon
with an intent look, the slight sparkle of tears in his eyes.  "It's a joke to
everybody around here.  I was so afraid...to even tell Jim...because I
thought he'd laugh at me."

     "You don't give us much credit, Sandburg.  We aren't all
Neanderthals around here."

     "No, you're not.  But you know that everybody's first reaction to
the Ferguson case has been laughter--it's been a joke around here for
weeks now--that Ferguson spanked his hookers."

     "It was an assault that should have been reported."

     "Then take it out on me, not on Blair," Jim said, sliding his arm
around Blair's shoulders.  "He's been through enough.  And you know
that what he's saying is true, Simon.  Nobody takes this seriously as an
assault--as a painful, potentially dangerous, degrading assault with
sexual overtones.  No--it's a big joke.  We're still hearing stupid remarks
from the half-wits over in Vice.  I'm not turning Blair into some sort of
departmental...*joke* over this."  Jim shook his head a little sadly, then
smiled a joyless smile.  "You know, he told me that just what you said
to him a few minutes ago would be people's reaction if they knew--jokin
g that he deserved it or that it would do him some good.  I didn't
believe that.  I was actually naive enough--" Jim paused, gesturing with
his hand for emphasis, "--and God knows there's not a hell of a lot left
that I'm still naive about--but I was naive enough to think that we were
cops here, that we'd view an aggravated assault with seriousness.  That
we were mature enough not to go into fits of...of...*frat house* humor
because the victim was hit on the ass instead of the head.  But I was
very wrong about that.  And your remark at Blair this morning really
drove that point home."

     "I had no idea Blair had been sp--" Simon took a breath. 
"*Assaulted* by this jerk.  I wouldn't have said that if I did."

     "But your first thought was that it was just what I needed--
something you apparently would like to see happen to me.  Well, it did."

     "That's not fair, Sandburg.  I was angry, and I had no idea you'd
been through something like that."  Simon paused, looking confounded. 
"You're right.  I probably wouldn't have taken you seriously if you had
reported it at the outset.  I guess I never thought of a spanking as being
something traumatic."

     "A couple swats on the ass when you're five and being beaten
until you beg for mercy when you're thirty are two different experiences,
sir," Jim said, not moving his arm from around Blair's shoulders.  

     "I can see that," Simon said, casting a sympathetic look at Blair,
who was staring at the floor now, looking as if he would like to melt
into the floorboards and disappear altogether.  "Blair, if you need some
help with this, the department's resources are there for you.  The
department psychiatrist--"

     "No, thanks, Simon.  I don't want to do that," Blair protested,
finally looking up.  "It's just something I have to get past.  I don't want
to make a big public thing out of it.  But I can't stand here and let Jim
resign.  He'd never stand by and let anybody really hurt me, and he
doesn't deserve to lose his job for that loyalty.  I know you didn't know
the score when you said what you said to me, but that's why Jim was so
upset by it.  I just hope you're not going to accept his resignation."

     "No, of course not," Simon responded gruffly with a wave of his
hand.  "Let's just forget this whole discussion ever happened.  I have to
get going."
 
     "Simon, I--"

     "Let's drop the subject, Jim," Simon interrupted.  "Just get your
partner here to go see somebody whether he wants to or not--even if it's
not someone affiliated with the department.   And Blalir, again, I *am*
sorry.  I hope you won't hold that comment against me."  Simon paused
before stepping through the door, and Blair nodded, forcing a little
smile.  With that, Simon headed out the door, closing it behind him.  

     Jim increased the pressure in the arm he had around Blair,
turning the smaller man until he could hold him.

     "You didn't have to tell him, Chief.  But thanks."  Jim slid a hand
into Blair's loose hair, fingers gently massaging the scalp.  "I know how
hard that was, sweetheart."

     "I love you.  I know you love me...but the way you acted with
Simon..."  Blair's arms tightened around Jim.  "I guess I didn't realize
how much..."

     "Listen to me.  You're number one, Chief.  The most important
thing in my life."  Jim kissed the side of Blair's head, patting his back a
little.  "I'm not going to force you to go see somebody.  But promise me
you'll think about it."

     "I know what I'm doing here.  I'm resenting authority.  And
when somebody pushes me, I push back--too hard.  Just to prove
something.  I guess to prove that I'm not...*obeying*."  Blair pulled
back a little, wiping the few quiet tears that had fallen.  "I *know*
what's wrong with me.  I'm trying to get a handle on it.  I think I'll be
okay.  Last night...with the dishes?"  Blair smiled at Jim's little chuckle. 
"It really, really helped.  I think maybe now I'm ready to try the
meditation again.  I just need to get centered, to confront what I'm
feeling...and I think you do too.  I'm not the only person here who has
some unresolved anger.  You haven't exactly had your dish-throwing
moment yet."  

     "I think I just did."

     "I promise I'll keep it in mind if I don't feel like I can handle it,
okay?  And you do the same?"

     "Okay."  Jim smiled, bumping Blair's hand out of the way and
kissing the spots under Blair's eyes where the slight wetness had been. "I
want to take you out somewhere tonight.  I know we're doing this
backwards--usually you have to at least buy a person dinner *first*,"
Jim quipped, and Blair laughed.  "But I want to take you out
somewhere nice.  You know..."

     "Like a date?"  Blair said, smiling.

     "Yeah, just like that."

     "I think I can clear my schedule for dinner."

     "How about after dinner?"  Jim slid his arms around Blair's
waist, bumping his nose against Blair's.

     "I'm free until sometime after breakfast tomorrow morning."

     "That won't work," Jim said, shaking his head.  At Blair's little
frown, he added.  "I'm booking you solid for the rest of your life."

     "I just happen to have had a cancellation, and it looks like I'm
available."

     "Not anymore, you're not."  Jim punctuated his remark with a
quick kiss to Blair's lips.  "Chief?"

     "Yeah?"

     "Are Simon's blinds open or closed?"  Jim asked, a little tone of
dread in his voice.

     "Uh..."  Blair caught sight of Rafe and Brown looking in the
window, Rafe making some rather disgusting big kissy-lips near the
glass while Brown laughed and egged him on.  "They're sort of... uh...
tilted..."

     "Just say the word, Chief."

     "Open."

     "Do I want to turn around?"  Jim asked, sensing now that there
was movement back there.  Blair watched the ungodly-looking faces of
Henri and Rafe as both men were making big lips at the window, and
Connor arrived and whacked Rafe on the shoulder, just before he
pointed at Jim and Blair, where they stood with Jim's arms still around
Blair's waist.  Her eyes bugged and then she knocked on the window.

     With a quick heavenward glance for strength, Jim turned around
to have a look for himself.  When both men were looking out at their
peanut gallery, the other three detectives simultaneously gave them
"thumbs up". 
     
********

     After dinner at one of Cascade's most prestigious restaurants,
still dressed in their best suits and topcoats, the two men struck out for
a walk to enjoy what was a beautiful, though brisk, late autumn night. 
Taking advantage of the shadows of evening, Jim reached over and took
Blair's hand, relishing the pleasure of walking hand and hand with his
lover--something he knew they'd always have to think twice about doing
in the light of day, when the sidewalks were bustling.  

     "You're awfully quiet, Chief," Jim said, his thumb rubbing over
Blair's affectionately.  

     "Just memorizing tonight--every detail," Blair responded, smiling
up at his lover.  "I want to remember everything about it."

     "We'll have lots more of them, sweetheart."

     "But never another first date," Blair corrected, squeezing Jim's
hand a little tighter.  "This is special."

     "It sure is.  You know what I was thinking?"

     "Probably, because I've been thinking about the same thing, but
tell me anyway."

     "As much as I don't want tonight to end, I was thinking about
taking the party back home."

     "Yeah," Blair agreed, smiling and giving a hard tug on Jim's
hand in the direction of the place where they'd left the truck.  

********

     Jim snagged the bottle of champagne he'd put in the refrigerator
before they left on their date and two glasses from the cupboard before
joining Blair upstairs.   Clad in only his robe, he hoped the sound he'd
identified as skin on sheets meant that Blair's robe had already been
discarded.  

     Climbing the stairs, he froze on the top step, taking in the sight
before him.  Candles flickered on the dresser, bathing in a warm gold
glow the nude body of his lover as he lay there on his stomach on top of
the comforter, arms around a a fat blue pillow where his chin rested. 
There was a bottle of massage oil on the night stand.

     "It's getting cold here by myself, lover," Blair said, his voice low
and husky with desire.  

     "I...uh...brought champagne," Jim offered, still a little awkward
in the presence of a naked and obviously willing Blair.

     "That's nice," Blair said genuinely, smiling as Jim poured a glass
and held it out as Blair rolled onto his side and accepted it.  "You're
overdressed," Blair complained, tugging on the sleeve of Jim's robe.

     "I guess I am.  Been too busy staring at the scenery to think
about it."  Jim took off the robe and tossed it aside, sitting on the bed
with his back to the pillows Blair helped stuff behind him.  As soon as
he was reclined on the bed with his champage, Blair was in his arms,
holding up his glass for a toast.

     "To us?"  he suggested.

     "To us.  To forever," Jim added, smiling and clinking his glass
against Blair's lightly.  Both sipped the champagne slowly, almost
ceremonially.  

     "This was a nice idea," Blair said of the champagne.  

     "Special occasion."  Jim nosed Blair's hair, kissed his temple.

     "I remembered you liked vanilla," Blair said, nodding toward the
bottle of massage oil on the night stand.  "It's called Vanilla Spice--there
are a few spicy scents mixed in--I think you'll like it."  Blair grinned. 
"It's edible."

     "So are you," Jim responded, swooping down to prove his point
by working on a large passion mark on Blair's neck.

     "Jim...make love to me?"

     "I'm counting on it, sweetheart," Jim responded, smiling and
kissing Blair's lips this time before taking another sip of his champagne.

     "I mean for real--all the way.  I thought the massage oil would
be...good for that."

     "You sure?"

     "Positive," Blair said, grinning from ear to ear, before he became
more serious.  "I really want us to share that."

     "How do you want to do this, sweetheart?  I know a few
options, but I've never done this either first hand."

     "First hand?"  Blair frowned a little.

     "I worked Vice quite a while, Chief.  I saw a little of everything,
but thank God, didn't do a hell of a lot of it.  But I can't really think of
too much I learned in Vice that I want to try out tonight.  So I'm flying
blind here too."

     "Something tells me you'll figure it out as we go along."  Blair
flexed his eyebrows and moved away to stretch out on the bed, on his
stomach again.  

     Smiling at those words of complete trust, Jim leaned down and
kissed Blair's face lightly before turning around and sitting next to his
lover's prone form.  He opened the little bottle of oil and breathed in the
sweet, spicy scent.  As it mingled with the scent of Blair's body and his
arousal, it became a heady mixture indeed.  

     Pouring a little into the palm of his hand and rubbing his hands
together, he began the slow back rub, feeling Blair relaxing under his
hands, hearing the little sighs of contentment as he oiled the smooth skin
of Blair's back with the sweet potion, working his way down to the
curve that flowed from the small of Blair's back into the swell of his
buttocks.  

     Blair sighed and parted his legs a bit, and Jim's cock twitched in
appreciation of the sight.  Moving down to the rounded cheeks, Jim
oiled them liberally, then set his little bottle aside, planning to work on
Blair with his lips and tongue.  Leaning in close, he dragged the tip of
his tongue in a line gentle but firm enough not to tickle, down the
middle of Blair's back from his neck all the way to the seam of his
buttocks.  And back again.  The groan it elicited was raw and sensual,
as Blair undulated against the mattress, his hands flexing on the sheets
beneath them.  

     Encouraged by this enthusiastic and stunningly sexy response,
Jim straddled Blair's hips and began kissing and licking his way across
the expanse of his lover's shoulders and back, becoming drunk on the
taste of vanilla, cinammon, a few other exotic spices...and Blair.  Blair
had his own spices beneath the oil, his own distinct smell and taste, and
the massage oil on Blair was, in Jim's opinion, much like the chocolate
sauce dribbled on ice cream--a delicious accent over an already tasty
morsel.

     "Jim..."  The word was little more than a sigh of pleasure, but it
held just the trace of a plea.
     
     "Love your taste, baby," Jim whispered hotly against Blair's ear.

     "It's the oil," Blair responded, smiling.

     "Remember who you're with, angel.  I know where the oil ends
and you begin.  It's you I'm tasting, baby."  Jim smiled and kissed the ear
he'd been whispering in, leaving the little bottle of oil on the night stand
as he moved down to concentrate on Blair's ass.

     Jim could hear Blair's breath catch in his throat as a hot tongue
began lapping at that beautiful ass he had offered up for Jim's pleasure.  

     "It's definitely *not* the oil, baby.  It's you," Jim said against the
skin of Blair's right buttock, before kissing it.  And then he set about
peppering every inch of the smooth mounds with wet kisses. //Every
place you had a bruise, you're only going to have love from now
on...this perfect skin is never going to be marred again...you're mine
now, sweetheart...//

     "Mmmm...  So good, lover," Blair muttered, loving the attention
of the movement of his hips was any indication.

     "Don't start without me, sweetheart," Jim said gently, placing his
hand lightly on Blair's hip to discourage him from humping the mattress
too enthusiastically.

     "What about...the oil?"  Blair asked as Jim gently parted him,
seeking out the little rosebud hiding in the dark recess.  

     "We'll use it when we're ready, baby.  But I don't want anything
in my way right now."  Jim leaned forward and kissed the little pucker,
making Blair lurch and moan in pleasure, spreading his legs, thrusting
his ass back to encourage more of the same.  He teased the edges of the
opening with the tip of his tongue, then homed in on the center, darting
his tongue in and out until he had Blair writhing with pleasure and his
own senses were overloading on the taste and scent of his lover, and on
the intimacy of what they were doing.  

     Pulling back a bit, he groped for the oil on the night stand and
dribbling some on his fingers, probed Blair's center with one greasy
digit.  It slid in quite easily, and Blair bore down on it enthusiastically,
accepting this first intrusion with nothing but pleasure and need.  

     "Love you, baby."  Jim moved up next to Blair, massaging him
and stretching with his finger while he kissed and nibbled at a sweet
shoulder that tasted of vanilla, sweat and Blair.  Withdrawing the first
finger, he found the oil again and after adding some, eased two fingers
carefully into the tight little hole.  

     "Oh, God, Jim...yeah...move 'em in there," Blair commanded
hoarsely, rotating his hips in an obscenely sexy counter-rhythm to the
motion of Jim's fingers.  "Ugh...yeah, come on, *more*," Blair begged,
bearing down on the fingers eagerly.

     "Feeling good, baby?"  Jim asked unnecessarily, kissing his way
along Blair's back while he treated him to what was obviously an
enjoyable internal massage.  

     "If it...feels any better...I'll come...without you," Blair managed,
writhing against the mattress again.

     "No way, sweetheart.  You have to wait for me.  It's in the
handbook," Jim teased, trying to talk to distract himself from his own
painful arousal that just wanted to thrust into that hot, greased little hole
and pump until they both dropped from exhaustion.  

     Straining his fingers a bit, Jim found the little knob he was
looking for, and brushed it firmly.  He almost missed dialing his hearing
back in time to avoid the painful ranges of the loud cry of ecstasy that
dragged out of Blair.  Brushing it again, he relished the same lusty shout
of pleasure.  

     "One more finger, baby.  I want you to take three...before you
take me," he whispered into Blair's ear, running his tongue around the
shell.  Blair shivered at that, and Jim slowly eased his fingers out of the
tight heat and added more oil.  He eased all three back inside, giving
Blair time to adjust to the new bulk.  "Relax, sweetheart.  No hurry.  Let
your body relax, bear down a little for me, huh?"   Jim felt Blair
complying with his suggestions, the three fingers finally admitted,
though they were beginning to stretch the tight passage in earnest now.  

     "Feels...*full*..."

     "Am I hurting you, baby?"  Jim asked softly, stilling his fingers.

     "No...mmmmm...just feels...fuller.  Move 'em a little more.  Ugh
yeah, like that," Blair encouraged, strained a bit at the stretching but
enjoying it nonetheless.

     When they had settled into a rhythm again, Jim scissoring and
stretching while Blair rotated his hips and soaked up the stimulation, Jim
brushed the little gland deep inside Blair again, making the whole upper
half of his body lurch up off the bed with a cry.  

     "Oh, man, do it...*please*."

     "It's coming, baby."  Jim carefully withdrew his fingers and
coated himself with the oil, then waited as Blair drew his knees under
himself, presenting his ass, wide open, the little pucker stretched and
glistening from Jim's handiwork.  

     Moving up behind Blair and taking a gentle hold of his hips to
anchor the movement, Jim slowly pushed in past the initial resistance,
and waited until Blair's sharp indrawn breath eased off, and the little
flare of pain receded.  Then he moved forward again, tuning all his
concentration on the feeling of the tight passage around him, making
sure he wasn't pushing too hard or stretching too much.  

     Blair's groan and backward motion brought them closer to their
goal.  In one more smooth thrust, they were joined.   Jim froze there,
braced on hands and knees behind Blair, his chest against his lover's
damp back, his groin against the firm, rounded ass.

     "I love you," Jim whispered, kissing his way across Blair's
shoulders and back, reaching under him to pump at the erection that had
only faltered slightly at the effort of the penetration.  In a moment, Blair
was moving, groaning at the stimulation to his cock and the hot bulk
impaling him.  Jim responded with a gentle thrust forward.  

     Together, they fell into a slow rhythm of thrust and counter-thrust u
ntil Jim managed to nail Blair's prostate.  That brought Blair up
on all fours with a shout, and when Jim made it a point to keep up the
stimulation of the little nub, Blair began thrusting backward wildly and
hungrily, his voice one constant moan of delight jarred only by their
movements.  

     Jim responded to the faster pace, pumping in and out of the tight
channel, claiming his life partner, moving fast toward his climax at the
feeling of the tight wet heat surrounding him and Blair's unabashed
pleasure and shameless pumping of his ass.

     Letting out a cry of his own as he felt Blair's muscles clamp
tightly around him, then spasm wildly, Jim felt the warm wetness of
Blair's orgasm spilling over his hand as he pumped the heavy cock until
it was spent.  So enthralled with the sight, sound, scent and sensations
of Blair's climax, Jim was almost startled by his own as it tore through
his body like lightning, bringing a primal scream of pleasure out of him
unlike any he ever remembered emitting during sex.  He filled Blair,
claimed him, marked him with bright passion marks on his shoulders and
back, and finally collapsed with him when neither of them could support
his own weight any longer.  

     As he drifted in and out of a post-orgasmic fog, Jim greedily
absorbed the pungent scent of their shared sex and overheated Blair.  He
closed his eyes and listened to the wild rhythm of Blair's heart, mingling
with his own.  For just a moment, the beat carried him back to the
jungle, back to the Chopec drums.  Finally mated with his other half, his
lifetime love, Jim wondered if that was in his own mind--or if the gods
were indeed smiling on their union.

     Gathering his equally boneless partner into his arms, Jim turned
them on their sides, keeping them joined.  

     "I love you," he said softly against Blair's shoulder, kissing it.

     "I love you," Blair responded, a smile in his voice. 

     "I should move, baby."  Jim eased out of Blair slowly, then
closed whatever tiny space had briefly existed between them.  "How do
you feel?"

     "Mmmm," Blair responded, a definite smile behind the sound.

     "Sore?"

     "Probably will be in the morning.  Right now I feel too good to
care," Blair responded honestly.  "How about you?"

     "It was the best sex I ever had in my life, sweetheart."  Jim
squeezed the languid body in his arms.  "But then I never loved anybody
the way I love you," he added in a voice little above a whisper, leaning
forward enough to kiss Blair's cheek, and rest his head against Blair's.  

     "I feel the same way.  The sex was...*amazing*--I never felt
anything so...*intense*.  But when we were coming, and then afterward,
it was like it was just so...*right*.  Like finally being with the mate you
were meant to have.  Primal."  

     Jim sighed contentedly at Blair's neat verbal summary of how it
had been.  As usual, he had echoed Jim's sentiments perfectly.

     "This is going to sound really stupid."

     "Go for it," Blair encouraged, smiling.

     "Would you...if I...  If I sent you...flowers sometime, would you
think it was weird?   You know, since...I mean..."
     
     "Since I'm a man?"  Blair shook his head.  "No.  A buddy of
mine in college used to get flowers from his girlfriend once in a while.  I
always thought it was really cool--because usually guys send the flowers
but never get any--well, flowers, I mean.  They send the flowers so they
*do* get any."

     "Yeah, that about covers it," Jim responded, laughing.  "I want
to spoil you a little, Chief.  I just want to be sure you...won't take it the
wrong way."

     "Don't be afraid to love me the way you want to, Jim.  I don't
know what numbers the other people in your life have done on you, but
being loved by you has been the best part of my life.  Anything you do
for me out of love--it'll make me happy.  Don't *not* do something for
me that love prompts you to do because you think it's corny or sappy or
whatever.  Sometimes the corny, sappy stuff is what we remember all
our lives."

     "What did I ever do to deserve you, I wonder?"  Jim pondered
softly, toying with a few curly strands of Blair's hair.

     "Stepped out in front of a garbage truck, as I recall.  The rest is
history, man."  Blair was smiling as he spoke, and Jim laughed.  

     "First time we got horizontal together," Jim added, and it was
Blair's turn to laugh. 

     "See, I've been wanting to get busy with you right from the
start."

     "I think I was addicted to you from the first time I looked into
those eyes of yours."

     "Was that before or after you pushed me against the wall and
threatened to search my office for narcotics?"  Blair challenged,
chuckling.

     "Maybe at that exact moment.  You were so brave, so
beautiful...those eyes looked right down into my soul."

     "I've gotta admit--when you were so close to me there, face to
face, I had this insane impulse to kiss you.  Right on the mouth."  Blair
laughed softly.  "I wrote it off as some stray *death wish* brought on by
impending paper deadlines."

     "Definitely would have startled me, that's for sure."  Jim had to
laugh at the mental image of what would have happened if Blair had
followed his impulse.  And yet, he had the oddest feeling he would have
returned the kiss full force.  "Wouldn't it have been something if you'd
tried, and I kissed you back?"

     "Your senses were all over the place right then.  You probably
would have and then killed me and hidden the body somewhere exotic
you learned about in Covert Ops."

     "I probably would have kept kissing you and never let you go," 
Jim opined, rubbing a hand lazily over Blair's belly and chest.  "There
was something about you...right from the start."

     "I'm glad we made it here finally--even if it took is three damn
years to do it," Blair added, smiling over his shoulder at Jim.

     "Three years is a pretty modest investment to yield eternity,
don't you think?"  Jim asked softly.  Blair turned over then, and they
began kissing, limbs entangling.  They spent the rest of the night
enjoying that return on their investment.

********

FINIS