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Using too many words

The phrase, I believe, is "word economy" - using the fewest number of words to get a point across. It's practically a religion to journalists, who have to cram as many facts as possible using the fewest amount of words. But it has its place in fiction, too. And some of you, to be honest, just take too damn long to get to the point.

Once again, I am too lazy to find an actual example, although I've read quite a few stories lately that just contain too many words. When I say "too many words," I don't mean that there's a limit on how long a story should be. I mean using words that don't forward the plot, don't add to the mood and don't need to be there. The tighter a story is, the more interesting it is to read, at least in my not-so-humble opinion. This is especially true considering how many acres of fan fiction out there that the average reader has to peruse.

The biggest offending phrase, I think, is "every single day." If something happens every day, the days being single are pretty much implied, aren't they? It's not as if until that point, I thought that perhaps the days melted together. How about, instead of "every single day," you just say "every day?"

Another great one: "he thought to himself." Unless you have ESP, you can't think to anyone other than yourself. Therefore, the "to himself" is extraneous. Get rid of it. If he's thinking, I'm already assuming that other people can't hear it.

"Time and time again" can be changed to "repeatedly" or "frequently" or another adverb that would turn four words into one. "The stars at night" is extraneous, because of course the stars come out at night. The list is endless.

One day when you have nothing better to do, look at one of your stories and remove any words that don't forward the plot, don't add to the mood and don't forward the characterization. Then look for places where you've used three words when one would have done the trick, like the aforementioned "time and time again." When you're done, see how it looks. If you liked it better the first time, go with it. But it's something to consider, because the writers I've read who use too many words really, really use too many words.

If someone is sad or upset, and you mention that he's crying, you don't have to mention in every line thereafter that he's sad. We'll assume it until you tell us otherwise. Therefore, also try removing any lines that tell us something we already know.

(The greatest example of telling us something we already know is the use of "the older man." If we're reading the story, we know which one's older, and even if we don't, age is usually irrelevant to the story, anyway. How about just using "he," or the guy's name? It seems like a small thing, but it does seem to move the story along more quickly. Not only that, but I hate "the older man." I'm well aware that this is a personal preference, but I have to mention it here.)

You, of course, may disagree.


- bitch to Jane