Xan's Trip to the Underworld
Hades had just drifted off letting the drone of souls being sorted wash over him when he was rather suddenly awakened.
“Excuse me Your Majesty, er- Lord Hades... Sir.” The young mortal shifted from foot to foot nervously.
Hades blinked, there was something odd about the man but he couldn’t quite place what. “Yes? Why do you disturb me?” The King of the Underworld’s voice was stern.
“Well, you see my friend was sent here and... I’dreallyliketohavehimback.” The brunet said in a rush.
“You. Want. Him. Back?” The mortal nodded. “You’re not dead then?”
“Um, no?” The young man glanced down at himself as if to make sure.
“How then, did you get here?” Hades wavered between astonishment and anger.
“I read in a book about there being an entrance under this lake so I packed up and came.” The man shrugged his shoulders. “A re-breather spell on a short-dive tank... The dive itself wasn’t that far.”
Hades pinched the bridge of his nose. Stupid mortals and their NEED to share knowledge. “And HOW did you get past Cerberus and Charon?”
“Oh, well I gave Cerberus a Buggle Bear-”
“A what!?”
“Um. A canvas bear stuffed with Buggle Snuff... It’s like catnip for dogs.” He bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.
Hades could feel the nerve under his left eye twitch. “You gave The Guardian of the Gates to the Underworld - mystic catnip?”
“Yes?”
“THANATOS!” Hades bellowed. A moment later his right hand god appeared in a subdued flash of black smoke. “Go check Cerberus. He’s been drugged. Lock the gates if you have to - chain him INSIDE. And for Gaia’s sake BANISH the damned catnip toy.” Thanatos merely raised an eyebrow at the brunet mortal and nodded once in understanding to Hades before flashing out again.
“Now Mortal, explain how you convinced Charon to ferry you across the Styx.”
“That was a little trickier. He wouldn’t take my money so I traded him a book and a bottle of Starry Nites nail-polish. He said he was bored” Xander elaborated at Hades’ incredulous look.
“So you drug my dog, bribe my ferryman and now you expect me to just give you your friend back? W-”
“No. I figured you’d have some kind of test or maze or something.”
Hades sighed his rant interrupted. Once you were off your stride it was hard to get a good rant going again. “Fine then. Who is your friend?”
“Spike - William the Bloody. I’m not sure what his name was before he got turned...” Xander trailed off at the wicked smirk now on Hades face.
“Oh, I know just who you’re talking about.” His smirk widened. “Bacchus has already called in a favor to have him resurrected.” Hades snapped his fingers and a black velvet pouch materialized in his hand. “He was supposed to go to that insufferable Angel - something about needing a bit more torment in his life. You know Angel I presume. What is you name mortal?”
“Xander and I know Angel.”
“You get along well?”
“Not really, we get on each other’s nerves quite a bit.”
“Good.” Xander gulped at the maniacal drawl. “If I return Spike to you instead this is my price: You will both for the length of one year reside with, work with, and generally spend as much time as you can possibly stand with Angel.”
“That’s it?” Xander’s eyes were wide.
“That’s it.” Hades tossed Xander the bag. “Oh, and give Angel my regards.” Hades called out as the mortal disappeared.
~*~*~
Halfway across the world in a Los Angeles high rise building - in a well appointed office.
~*~*~
*thunk*
“Xander?!”
-END-
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