{"id":96,"date":"2011-08-27T14:15:57","date_gmt":"2011-08-27T14:15:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.squidge.org\/walterh\/?p=96"},"modified":"2011-08-27T14:16:20","modified_gmt":"2011-08-27T14:16:20","slug":"archiving-old-fic-cactus-candy-the-sentinel-jimblair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.squidge.org\/walterh\/2011\/08\/archiving-old-fic-cactus-candy-the-sentinel-jimblair\/","title":{"rendered":"Archiving Old Fic &#8211; Cactus Candy &#8211; The Sentinel &#8211; Jim\/Blair"},"content":{"rendered":"<pre>~*~*~*~\r\nTitle: Cactus Candy (from the late 1990s)\r\nAuthor\/pseudonym: Squidgie (Walter H. Hopgood)\r\nEmail address: walterh@squidge.org\r\nRating: NC-17 (well, almost)\r\nPairings: J\/B\r\n\r\nStatus: NEW\r\nDate: 5\/3\/98\r\nArchive: YES to Merry and Michelle\r\nArchive author: Squidgie\r\nArchive email address: walterh@squidge.org\r\nSeries\/Sequel: None\r\nOther website: http:\/\/www.meer.net\/~walterh\/walter\/\r\n\r\nDisclaimers: I don't own Jim or Blair - they're owned by UPN and Pet\r\nFly. However, I *do* make many trips up to Vancouver.  I *did* have\r\nmy suitcase when I ran into a couple of the guys in Vancouver, but\r\ndidn't get close enough to judge size.  I ain't making any money off\r\nof this, and besides, it's *Pumpkin's* fault, not mine!!!!!  Not\r\nbeta'd (too damn silly to have been) but has been spell checked and\r\ndouble-checked.\r\n\r\nNotes:  This is my response to the recent \"Turn Blair into a giant\r\npink ostrich and have Taggart eat him\" challenge that was put forth\r\nby Pumpkin.  This is *NOT* my fault!!!\r\n\r\nSummary: It's just a Jim and Blair story (with lots of silliness)\r\n\r\nWarnings:  Unresolved sexual situation, drug use, childhood-tv-heroes,\r\nand candymaking all put to shame. :)\r\n\r\n~*~*~*~\r\n\r\nThe solitary figure walked slowly through the precinct, ignoring\r\nthe looks and gasps that seemed to follow him around each corner.\r\nHe ventured forth, entering the major crimes area, and noisily\r\ndropped his backpack in front of the desk of one James Ellison.\r\n\r\n\"SANDBURG!!!  ...  Ewww....\"\r\n\r\nA pair of cerulean eyes rolled back in their owner's head, not\r\nwanting to answer the question that awaited him.  \"*Nice to see\r\nyou, Jim*.\"\r\n\r\n\"Sandburg, sarcasm does *not* become you.  And neither does that\r\nshade of pink.\"  Jim turned his sense of smell down, after determining\r\nwhere it was emanating from.  \"I won't even ask you what that smell is.\"\r\nA soft chuckle rounded the small office.  \"So, what the hell happened\r\nto you?  And what are you doing back early?\"\r\n\r\nSighing heavily, Blair began delivering the practiced speech that\r\nhe'd worked on during the cab ride and walk from the airport.  \"Well,\r\nif you'd look at your calendar, you would notice the date.  Can you\r\ntell me what day it is, Jim?\"\r\n\r\n\"It's the ninth.  And you're not due back until the tenth, tomorrow.\"\r\n\r\n\"No, it's the tenth.  Jim, what day of the week is this?\"\r\n\r\n\"Tuesday.\"\r\n\r\n\"No, Jim, it's Wednesday.  Remember Wednesday?  That day that you and\r\nI set aside for you to COME PICK ME UP?!?!\"\r\n\r\nJim flinched.  \"Ouch.  I'm sorry, gup.  Without you here to keep me\r\non track the last few days, I've been kind of out of it.\"  Noticing\r\nTaggart taking out a can of Lysol and spraying the area around his\r\ndesk, he added quietly, \"What happened to you?  You want to shower\r\nand change?\"\r\n\r\nA cry of frustration escaped Blair's lips.  \"I don't want to talk about\r\nit.  I just want to go home, get in the shower-\"\r\n\r\n\"Whoa there, Chief!  You're not getting in *my* truck smelling like\r\nthat.  You can get a shower here.\"\r\n\r\n\"Fine.\"  Blair began rummaging through his bag.  \"You got any clothes\r\nhere that I can borrow?  All of mine are dirty from the trip.  Good\r\nthing this bag is waterproof, though.\"  He lifted out some clothes,\r\nsoiled only by his sweat from his journey, followed by a trinket\r\nthat he intended to give to Jim, and a green container.  \"Here,\"\r\nhe said, handing over the artifact.  \"Brought you this back.\"\r\n\r\n\"What is it?\"\r\n\r\n\"I'll explain later.  It's a little puzzle.\"\r\n\r\n\"Oh.  And what's in the container?\"  Jim picked it up, trying to smell\r\nthe contents through the plastic barrier.\r\n\r\n\"That,\" explained Blair, \"is a kind of candy.  It's made of some sort\r\nof cactus.  One of the villagers I worked with for a couple of days gave\r\nit to me before I left.  She said I'd like it.\"\r\n\r\nJim opened the container slightly.  The green of the container lent itself\r\nto the contents, already a light shade of green.  \"They don't smell\r\ntoo good, Chief.  You want me to toss them?\"\r\n\r\n\"No, no, they're fine,\" explained Blair.  \"I had one on the train.\r\nWell, a piece of one.  They're OK - not that sweet.  I like my candy\r\na little sweeter.\"  Blair searched, pulling a pink pair of sweats from\r\nhis bag that didn't seem too rank.\r\n\r\nGrinning eyes greeted the sight of the shirt.  \"What happened to your\r\nclothes, Chief?\" \r\n\r\n\"Laundry mix-up.  You remember Bart?\"\r\n\r\n\"What, the little idiot that went on the expedition with you and the\r\nteam?  Little guy?  Pointy hair?\"\r\n\r\nBlair tsked in disgust.  \"Yeah, that's the one.  He got his 'lucky red hat'\r\ndirty on one of the trips, so he tossed it in with the laundry on one of\r\nthe trips back to civilization to get supplies - *my* laundry.  My\r\n*WHITE* laundry.\" \r\n\r\nIt seemed this was Jim's day to catch up on his quota of laughs.  He's\r\nbeen a bear for the last week while Blair had been gone, but he was\r\nmaking up for it now.  \"Sorry, Chief.  Can't help you in that department.\r\nMy locker's clean.\"\r\n\r\n\"Fine.\" He put the pink sweats to his nose, deciding the strong aroma\r\nwasn't as bad as what he smelled of right then.  \"These'll have to do.\r\nJust get me to the showers.\"  Blair dropped his backpack on the side of\r\nJim's desk, ignoring the puzzle and open container of candy.  As they\r\npassed Taggart's desk, he looked shocked as Joel aimed the can of Lysol\r\nat him, threateningly.  He stopped following Jim, and went to Taggart's\r\nside.  \"What is it, guy?\" He tried to get close to Taggart, who was\r\neyeing him menacingly.  \"What, didn't you miss me?  Don't I get a welcome\r\nback hug?\"\r\n\r\n\"Get off me, Sandburg!\"\r\n\r\nThe aborted hug now history, Blair gave Taggart his best pouty look.\r\n\"Aww... I'm hurt!  Admit it, Joel.  You just love me for my chili.\"\r\n\r\nThe expression, 'the way to a mans heart is through his stomach' was\r\nnot lost on Joel Taggart.  A big man, one of his main passions was good\r\nfood, and Blair's chili was at the top of that list.  \"If it'll get\r\nme a bowl of that ostrich-meat chili, I'll hug you.\"  He rubbed\r\nhis stomach, fondly remembering the taste.  \"Damn!  You just have to\r\nmention that stuff, and it's all I can think about for the rest of\r\nthe day.  You making another batch soon?\"\r\n\r\n\"How about Saturday night?  We'll make a night of it.  Give me a\r\nchance to make up some of the money I didn't win by missing the\r\nlast poker party.\"\r\n\r\nHunger filled Joel's eyes.  \"Saturday night?  I'm there!\"\r\n\r\n\"Cool!  I'll tell Jim.\"  Sandburg moved to claim his hug, but was\r\nbrushed off by the large fellow.  \"Hey!  My hug!\"\r\n\r\n\"Yeah, right.  Hit the showers, hairboy.\"\r\n\r\nA mock sigh of rejection flung itself from Blair's lungs.  \"Fine.\r\nFoiled again.\"  Blair began to make his way to the back with Jim,\r\nwhen he turned back to Taggart and the crew.  \"Gents, there are some\r\ntreats in my backpack and in the container on Jim's desk.  I know\r\nbetter than to not bring you guys back treats when I head out, now.\"\r\nHe remembered the play cold-shoulder he received when coming back\r\nfrom a weekend study in Colorado, empty-handed.  \"Have at it, boys!\"  \r\n\r\n~*~*~*~*~*~*\r\n\r\nThe messy clothes now safely bagged up, Jim turned to see his lover\r\nunder the spray of water.  He stood back, taking in the lovely view\r\nas the water spread over the sinewy body.  \"Damn,\" he said, after he\r\nwas sure they were in the locker room alone.  \"I missed you, Chief.\"\r\n\r\nBlair opened his eyes, and focused on the immense body standing just\r\noutside of the shower area that was groping itself.  At the sight,\r\nhe felt his own cock begin to rise under the warm jets of water.\r\n\"Don't do this to me, man.  Not here.  You don't know what being away\r\nfrom you for six days does to me, man!\"  Trying desperately to ignore\r\nhis approaching lover, he recited baseball statistics, Mayan chief\r\nburial dates, anything.  When he finally reopened his eyes, his lover\r\nstood dangerously close to the shower, pants down to his knees, stroking\r\nhis thick cock.  \r\n\r\n\"I gotta have you, Chief.  I can't wait to take you in my arms...\"\r\n\r\n\"You were willing to wait until after I'd had a shower!\"\r\n\r\nHis seductive concentration lost, Jim absently stroked his cock while\r\nhe tried to explain himself.  \"Well... What do you expect?\"  He pulled\r\nhis testicles slightly with his left hand, as his right continued to\r\nstretch his cock.  \"You were covered in...  What exactly were you\r\ncovered in?\"\r\n\r\nThe memory of the trip - make that ordeal - from the airport came\r\nback to him.  \"Well, I was so pissed that you'd forgotten, that I just\r\ngrabbed a taxi and decided to come down here and bitch at you.  And,\r\nI was so pissed that I forgot I only had ten bucks left, which\r\nleft me-\"\r\n\r\n\"A couple of miles short.\"  Jim sighed.  \"Jesus, Chief!  You should have\r\ncalled.\"\r\n\r\n\"Yeah, well, I didn't.  So anyway, I told the cabbie, and he let me out\r\na mile from the station.  I figured I needed the walk, after the train\r\nride anyway, so I hoofed it.  I was making good time when my stomach\r\nstarted hurting - probably from that candy Yuconda made for me.\"  Blair\r\nstopped the flow of water, noting that Jim had tucked himself back into\r\nhis pants.  It was only then that he'd noticed one of the Vice cops at\r\na locker towards the end.  \"Anyway, I had to stop.  I was *not* going\r\nto make it back here without going to the bathroom.\"  Blair dried himself\r\noff, and put on the sweat pants and shirt Jim held for him.  \"So anyway,\r\nI grabbed a port-a-potty at that construction site down the road, and\r\nsomething freaked me.  That's all.\"\r\n\r\n\"Something freaked you?  In a port-a-potty?\"  Jim chuckled maniacally.\r\n\r\nBlair sighed.  \"Jim, remember that X Files espisode that freaked me\r\nout so much?  The one with the human tapeworm?\"\r\n\r\nJim recalled that episode in his mind, smiling at the memory.  He loved\r\nwatching the show with Blair.  Besides the settings often reminding him\r\neerily of Cascade - some reason he couldn't put his finger on it - he\r\nrelished the scary episodes.  Those always found Blair cuddled up next\r\nto him, shivering into Jim's side when the action with the monsters got\r\ntoo much.  He'd never have guessed that his lover was squeamish about\r\na television show.  \"Yeah?\"\r\n\r\n\"Remember how I vowed never to go back in one of those things?\" Jim nodded.\r\n\"Well, I broke that promise.\"  He began brushing his hair, and readying\r\nhimself back to being presentable in public.  \"I tried not to think about\r\nit, but when I was in there, I could have sworn I saw - something.\"\r\n\r\n\"What, Chief?\"  Jim was trying to be sincere, but the giggles emanated\r\nfrom his eyes from how they sparkled, instead of coming from his lips.\r\n\r\n\"That flukey thing.\"\r\n\r\nThe locker room was filled with laughter, as Jim howled.  Blair just sat\r\nback, arms crossed, as his lover settled down.  He narrowed his eyes at\r\nJim.  Jim noticed, and tried to keep himself composed.\r\n\r\nBlair rushed through his next statement.  \"Anyway, I freaked, I went for\r\nthe door, but it was locked, and I screamed, which echoed and caused me\r\nto freak more, and I pounded on the door and when it wouldn't budge I\r\ntried to lean in and ram it, and instead of opening up it tipped over\r\nand the contents spilled through the toilet and then I walked in here.\"\r\n\r\nHe could wait.  And wait he did.\r\n\r\nAfter a good five minutes, Jim finally was able to keep from giggling,\r\nas long as he didn't look at his partner.  Blair was more embarrassed about\r\nthe whole thing, and was somewhat lighthearted about the situation, but\r\nstill slightly annoyed by his lover.  After several false starts, with\r\neach one sending Jim into a giggle-fit, he continued.  \"So, what plans\r\ndo we have tonight?\"\r\n\r\nJim lost a fight, letting loose a giggle.  \"A fluke!  I'm flukeman!!!\"\r\nHe reached out a hand towards Blair, trying to recreate a menacing\r\nmonster from a late-night B-movie scene.\r\n\r\n\"Jim, this is serious!\"  Blair batted away the hand that toyed with\r\nhim.  \"I *really* thought I saw something.  It was almost like I was\r\nhallucinating or something.\"\r\n\r\nThe joviality of the situation drained from Jim's face, and he looked\r\nat his lover more seriously.  \"Hallucinations, Chief?  You need me to\r\ntake you to the doctor?\"\r\n\r\n\"Naah.\"  Blair tried to lighten the mood again.  \"Probably something I\r\nate, you know?  Just - OH SHIT!\"\r\n\r\n\"What is it, Chief?\"  Jim's eyes drew wide, as a look of terror overtook\r\nhis lover face.  \r\n\r\nBefore Blair was able to respond, a yell came from the bullpen.  \"FIRE!!!\r\nEVERYONE OUT!!!  FIRE!!!!\"\r\n\r\n\"Shit!  That's Simon!\"  Jim grabbed Blair's arm and began running towards\r\nthe main office.  \"Come on!\"\r\n\r\n\"But Jim!!!---\"\r\n\r\nJim sailed out of the locker room, just in time to see his Captain make\r\na quick trip of the hallway, and bounded down the stairs.  His sentinel\r\nsenses at full alert, he began sniffing, trying to determine where the\r\nfire was.  As Blair rejoined his side, he tried, but could only determine\r\nthe smell of one of Simon's cigars and a recently spent match.  \r\n\r\n\"Jim, I think I---\"\r\n\r\nBlair was cut off by Rafe, who was running at full speed after a fellow\r\npolice officer in full motorcycle-cop regalia, screaming, \"Ponch!  Wait\r\nfor me, buddy!  Ponch!!!  Slow down!!!!!\"\r\n\r\nPulling Blair up, Jim grabbed the pink material, almost barking at him.\r\n\"What the hell's going on, Sandburg?!?!?!\"\r\n\r\n\"Jim, I think I know what caused that hallucination.  Remember that-\"\r\n\r\nBlair was cut short, as his body was thrown to the ground.  He opened his\r\neyes to see Jim stumbling backwards and tripping over a desk, as a\r\nvery deranged looking Taggart sat down on Blair.  \"I'll make short order\r\nof you!\"  Taggart leaned down, his pearly teeth gleaming at Blair.\r\n\r\n\"Joel, No!\" He struggled.  \"Get off me, man!!!\"\r\n\r\nTaggart cocked his head and looked at Blair curiously.  \"Well what do\r\nyou know?  This giant pink ostrich can talk!  How are you today, mister\r\nostrich?\"  A look of terror in Blair's eyes confirmed what he'd been\r\nhoping wasn't the case, and he began to struggle.  Pinning the squirming\r\nbody underneath him, Joel yelled.  \"Now stop that right now!  You're\r\ngoing to make yourself all stringy and tough!  I don't like my ostrich\r\nmeat tough!\"\r\n\r\nAs the mouth opened into a wide grin, the pearly teeth almost blinded\r\nBlair.  Being held by the larger man, he could do nothing but turn his\r\nhead and wait for the inevitable, for Taggart to take a hunk of him.\r\nHot breath burned his neck, and a drop of saliva dripped down onto his\r\nskin.  \r\n\r\nJust before Taggart could make contact, Blair heard a loud thump, and\r\nwas instantly covered by the larger man.  He sat still for an instant,\r\nrealizing that Taggart was not moving, and that he could not breath.\r\nArms flailing, he screamed and rocked back and forth, trying to get\r\nthe large body off of himself, when he felt his right arm being pulled.\r\nhe tried to lean left, and the unconscious body of one Joel Taggart\r\nrolled off of him, as Jim pulled him up to the safety of his arms.\r\n\r\n~*~*~*~*~*~*~*\r\n\r\n\"So, Chief.  You want to fill out the reports for this, or shall I?\"\r\n\r\nThe lovers shared an easy laugh, easing off the tension of the last\r\ncouple of hours.  \"Oh man.  I should have known.\"\r\n\r\n\"Chief, it wasn't your fault.  She didn't tell you that she used peyote,\r\ndid she?\"\r\n\r\n\"No, but still.  Damn, how could I have been so naive?\"\r\n\r\nJim put his arm around his lover, pulling him close.  \"Don't worry about\r\nit.  Just be careful next time, OK?\"\r\n\r\n\"Damn straight.\"  The doctor appeared, a grin still on his face from\r\nthe tales he'd heard.  \"Hey!  How're they gonna be, doc?\"\r\n\r\nDoctor Mathews smiled.  \"They're gonna be just fine.  I'm going to keep\r\nthem under observation for the next eight hours, but I'll release them\r\nafter.  The peyote has been counteracted, but I still want to be sure\r\nthere aren't any side effects.\"  \r\n\r\n\"Good.\"  Jim added.  \"If any of them need rides home, just tell them to\r\ncall us, OK?\"\r\n\r\n\"Will do.  Oh, and Mister Sandburg?  I would suggest that you dispose of\r\nthe rest of that 'candy' post haste.  You wouldn't want any more of these\r\nlittle episodes, would you?  What was it again?  Hallucinating a building\r\nfire from a single lit match, imagining seeing one of your childhood tv\r\nheroes, a giant pink ostrich....\"\r\n\r\n\"Already done, doc.  Thanks.\"\r\n\r\n\"You can go back and see them, if you wish.\"\r\n\r\nThe pair looked at each other, then replied in unison, \"Naaahhh.\"\r\n\r\nEnd<\/pre>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>~*~*~*~ Title: Cactus Candy (from the late 1990s) Author\/pseudonym: Squidgie (Walter H. Hopgood) Email address: walterh@squidge.org Rating: NC-17 (well, almost) Pairings: J\/B Status: NEW Date: 5\/3\/98 Archive: YES to Merry and Michelle Archive author: Squidgie Archive email address: walterh@squidge.org Series\/Sequel: None Other website: http:\/\/www.meer.net\/~walterh\/walter\/ Disclaimers: I don&#8217;t own Jim or Blair &#8211; they&#8217;re owned by [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[21,26,9,27,23],"class_list":["post-96","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction","tag-archived-fic","tag-the-sentinel","tag-fic","tag-jimblair","tag-slash"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2ZgDO-1y","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.squidge.org\/walterh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.squidge.org\/walterh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.squidge.org\/walterh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.squidge.org\/walterh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.squidge.org\/walterh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=96"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.squidge.org\/walterh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":98,"href":"https:\/\/www.squidge.org\/walterh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96\/revisions\/98"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.squidge.org\/walterh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=96"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.squidge.org\/walterh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=96"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.squidge.org\/walterh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=96"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}