Disclaimer: Yes. They are mine. Possession is nine-tenths, and all that. <listens to various voices in her head> What?!?! What do you mean they’re gone??? Damn it! <pouts> Well then… forget what I just said.

Notes: Because someone onlist just *had* to mention something about Spike working for a phone sex line.

“Thank you for calling 1-900-WILD-ONE, Sunnydale’s *hottest* phone sex line. If you are female, press ‘1’. If you are male, press ‘2’. If you are of indeterminate or multiple genders, press ‘3’.”

[beep]

“Well, hello sir! We have so much to offer you this evening. To talk with one of our delicious humans, press ‘1’. If you prefer demons of the humanoid variety, press ‘2’. For a walk on the *really* wild side, speak with one of our non-humanoid demons by pressing ‘3’.”

[beep]

“You naughty thing, you! You’ve chosen the option of one of our many talented humanoid demons. For a sexy female, press ‘1’. If you’d like to talk with a male, press ‘2’. For the indecisive, try a frisky little hermaphrodite and press ‘3’. Or, if you’d rather, press ‘4’ to have a chat with a demon of indeterminate gender.”

[beep]

“Oh, aren’t you in luck? We have so many *lovely* boys for you to choose from this evening. If you’re looking for a shy, submissive boy who will obey your every command, press ‘1’. If you’re in the mood for someone a little more aggressive and dominant, press ‘2’. Wanting something kinky? For someone specializing in fetishes, press ‘3’.”

[beep]

“Oooh, you’re looking for a little spice with a naughty, forceful boy. Well, we have just the one for you! Please wait while your call is being connected with your specially chosen man of the evening.”

[cheesy porno music playing]

[deep, purring voice] “Well, hello there sexy. And what’s your name?”

[throat clearing] “Xa - um, Greg.”

[husky chuckle] “Greg, hmm? Well, you sound positively edible, Greg. And what would you like me to do to you tonight?”

[almost stuttering] “Oh, um, I guess...anything?”

[nearly inaudible growl] “Oh, sounds good to me, pet. Let’s see...why don’t you get comfortable. Got a bed?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Well then, I want you to put me on speaker, then strip and lay yourself out on your back. But don’t touch yourself yet, understand?”

[rustling and creaking noises] “Ok.”

“Good. So, tell me what you look like, Greg. I wanna know what kinda treat I got laid out for me.”

“Well, I-I have, um, dark hair. And dark eyes. And, um, I’m kind of built. From, y’know, work and stuff.”

“Yeah? Sound like you’re quite a catch.”

[nervous laughter] “Well, my ex didn’t think so.” [uncomfortable silence] “So, um, what do you look like?”

“Depends. What do you want me to look like?”

“Oh. Right. Ok…um, how about…blonde? And…kinda pale. Blue eyes?”

[long pause] “I...think I can do that. Blonde, blue-eyed and pale. You pegged it, that’s me.” [another long pause] “So…Greg. Got someone you fancy, then?”

“N-no!” [forced chuckle] “No, no one. Just, y’know, sort of a fantasy I guess. And can I say this is a very wiggy conversion to be having on a phone sex line?”

“Right. Where were we then? You all naked an’ spread out for me?”

“Yeah.”

[voice gets huskier] “You hard?”

[soft moan] “Y-yes.”

“I bet you are. God pet, you sound so needy. You’re leaking, aren’t you? All over that lovely smooth skin on your stomach.”

[tiny whimper] “…please…”

“Wanna touch yourself, huh? Well, I s’pose I can do somethin’ about that. I want you to take a finger - just *one* - and put it in your mouth. Get it all wet for me.”

[slurping sounds]

“Good. Now, play with your nipples, love. Just use the one finger, mind!”

[moaning and whimpering] “oh...god....”

“Want more?”

“Yesssss.....”

“Bet you wanna touch your cock, huh? It’s all hard an’ throbbin’, and you just wanna wrap your hand around it and squeeze and pull until you cum all over yourself, don’t you?

[gasping and loud moaning] “oh....yeah...please...”

[commanding snarl] “Don’t you touch it!”

[choked off cry of protest]

“You can use both hands now, but only touch your nipples, understand?”

[loud whimper]

“You’re so hard, aren’t you luv? You’re hips are thrusting up into the air, tryin’ to find somethin’ to rub that gorgeous cock of yours against. Your nipples are pebbled up tight, just beggin’ to be licked an’ sucked an’ nibbled on. Your skin is startin’ to flush a delicious pink every time your fingers flick over your nipples.”

“...oh please...I can’t...”

“Ah ah! No touching there!”

[frustrated groan]

“Oh, don’t be like that, pet! You know you love it.”

[sound of either agreement, or sheer sexual frustration]

“You want it bad, don’t you? Want me there, touching you, tasting you, shoving myself inside you. Tell me you want it, pet.”

[bed squeaks] “yes…oh, yes, touch me. Fuck me. Please…”

“Oh yeah, pet. So lovely. I can just see you writhing under me as I push into your tight, hot body. You’re so beautiful when I’m fucking you, luv .”

[squeaking of bed increases, more panting]

[forceful growl] “Tilt your head back for me. That’s it. Such a pretty neck. Know what I’m gonna do, Greg? I’m gonna bite you. Right. There!”

[breath catches] “ahhhh...god yes...ooohhh.....Spike!” [drawn-out moan of completion]

[clatter of phone being dropped then picked up again]

[contented panting]

[suspicious/disbelieving voice] “Xander? That you?”

[startled intake of breath] “S-Spike?”

[shocked silence]

[panicked squeak] “…oh shit…”

Xander tumbled from the bed and frantically slapped at his phone, knocking it onto the floor in his haste to disconnect. “Oh, fuck,” he breathed. “This really, *really* sucks! Oh god. Shit. Fuck!” He tore at his hair in distress, and sank back down onto the bed.

The bed. With it’s now-rumpled covers and heady smell of self-pleasure. Only, not really ‘self’. No, because he had been talking to Spike. Make that having *phone sex* with Spike. And *Spike* had made him cum. Just. Using. His. Voice.

With a strangled cry, he leapt away from the bed, glaring at it as if it might suddenly attack him. He began to pace around the room. “Ok. It’s not that bad. Really. I mean, so we had phone sex...that can’t be too awful, can it? It’s not like anyone will ever know! *I’m* sure not telling a soul! And Spike...he’d have to explain about where he was working. And...holy *shit*! Spike is a phone sex operator!” Xander stopped dead in his tracks, staring blankly at the wall in front of him.

“*Spike*. Phone sex. Gaahhh....” He felt himself start to grow hard again at the remembrance of Spike’s low, husky voice as he had touched himself, and...

“Ack!” Xander smacked himself on the face. “Bad thoughts! Naughty Xander!” Hurriedly, he dressed, feeling a desperate need to get *away* from his apartment.

Keys and wallet in hand, he wrenched open the front door. “Aahhh!” He stumbled back, gaping in shock at the figure lounging in the doorway.

Spike raised an eyebrow and sauntered inside, closing the door and locking it. He turned back, eyeing Xander curiously. “A fantasy, huh?”

Xander gave a nervous chuckle as he looked up at the vampire from his place on the floor. “Um...Spike. What are you doing here? And...how’d you get here so fast?”

Spike ignored that, stalking over until he was standing with his legs on either side of Xander’s thighs. “Blonde hair, blue eyes, and just a bit on the pale side, huh?”

“Spike...I...I...”

Spike crouched down and covered Xander’s mouth. His eyes glittered. “Dominant and aggressive? That what you wanted?”

Xander’s pupils dilated at the words that were growled out in that deep, throaty voice. He flushed.

Spike removed his hand and tilted Xander’s head back. “I think I can do that,” he whispered, then fastened his lips to Xander’s in a fierce, claiming kiss of ownership.

Xander whimpered.