Part 11

When Xander walked into the kitchen, Buffy eyed him warily. She didn’t remind him of his Buffy at all. This girl was cold, cynical, and hard. He tried to set her mind at ease by giving her the patented ‘Xander is a goofball’ grin. It wasn’t working.

“Hey Buff. How are you?”

“Fine. You?”

“Amazingly well for a guy who just spent the last two weeks fighting for his life in a hell dimension.”

Buffy didn’t seem impressed but, surprisingly, Riley did. The soldier looked Xander over from head to toe and then nodded.

“You must have done well. I’m impressed. Military background?”

“Well, I was possessed by a soldier once on Halloween. But mostly, what I know, I learned from helping Buffy.”

This peaked Buffy’s interest and she perked up.

“So, you still work with me where you’re from? Not Angel?”

“Deadboy? No way! Still a scooby, through and through.”

That made Buffy smile, something Xander wasn’t sure this version of his friend knew how to do. It warmed his heart to see at least a small trace of the girl he knew reflected in the woman in front of him.

“So, I was thinking. I could be here for a while and I should at least know the basics of what the situation is here in this world. Any big nasties on the current agenda?”

“Nope. All clear on the hostile front. We took out a large nest of vampires just outside of town two nights ago. Things have been quiet since.”

Xander nodded to Riley and then turned to Buffy.

“Is it okay if I ask a question - it’s kinda personal?”

“Shoot.”

“Did you die here? See, ’cause on my world, you died in the battle with Glory. I’ve been trying to figure out if there was some way we could have stopped that.”

Buffy looked sad and Riley put an arm around her. Giles glared at Xander and Xander suddenly felt very afraid of the older man. He stepped back and said he was sorry.

“It’s okay. No, I didn’t die here. Dawn did. Before the ritual, she was coming home from school and was… “

Buffy broke off with a sob. Xander felt like an ass. He wished he hadn’t asked the question now. No Dawn meant that Buffy was truly alone in this world, no family to fall back on at all. No wonder she was so cold and hard. He was so caught up in his guilt that he almost missed the look that passed between Giles and Riley. Almost.

“Um… I think I’ll take a walk around town. See what’s different here. Besides, after two weeks in that place, I really feel like I need the wide, open space and plentiful fresh air. So, can I come here later?”

Giles looked up from the book he was studying.

“Oh, of course. I still have a great many questions I would like to ask you, as well.”

“Sure thing G-man!”

Xander grinned and then made for the door. He spared a quick glance at the vampire on the sofa before leaving. Spike sat just as he had before Xander entered the kitchen. He wondered if the vampire was allowed to move without permission.

Part 12

Rather than go back to Giles’ place, Xander wandered around town until the sun began to set. He knew Angel would be leaving L.A. any time now, and he was looking forward to meeting the Xander of this reality. If he could not only put up with, but also actually work for Angel, he must have either the patience of a saint or a masochistic streak a mile wide.

He found himself wandering through one of Sunnydale’s cemeteries. He knew it wasn’t a very smart thing to do, but from what he had been told, this Sunnydale wasn’t the vamp-infested town that his Sunnydale was. Besides, he was hoping to catch sight of Buffy and Riley. If he was lucky, maybe he could get Spike away from them and make a break for the mansion.

Xander heard noise up ahead and slowly crept forward to investigate. It looked like Buffy and Riley had found some trouble after all. There were a couple of large greyish demons, both armed with broadswords, circling them. Xander didn’t see Spike anywhere close but that didn’t mean he wasn’t nearby. The vampire was very good at stealth.

Riley’s stun gun was having no effect on the demons and they were closing in. Buffy wasn’t doing so well holding off her attacker. It seemed this slayer wasn’t as good as his Buffy. That, or she had gotten sloppy, letting the commandos do most of the work.

Riley let out a loud whistle and seemingly out of nowhere, Spike attacked. He was vicious and bloodthirsty, attacking the demons with fists and feet. Xander saw him go into gameface and wince at the pain his transformation caused. It just made him all the more determined to help Spike escape from these people.

Once the fight was turned back in their favor, Riley and Buffy went on the offensive. Spike was left to watch and be ready in case he was needed to fight again. Xander took the opportunity to sneak closer. Spike must have smelled him approach for he turned and looked at him.

Xander motioned for the blond to follow him and slowly crept away. Spike looked around to make sure that he wasn’t being watched before following him. Once they were far enough away to talk without being overheard but still close enough for Spike to hear the fight, they stopped.

“Angel is on his way.”

Spike gasped in surprise. He hadn’t really thought the human would call his sire. And even if he did, he hadn’t really expected Angel to come this quickly.

“Now?”

“Yeah, he said as soon as the sun set he’d head out. I’m supposed to meet him at the mansion. The one on Crawford Street - you know the place?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then come on. If we get there now, and lay low, we can leave as soon as Angel gets there.”

Xander grabbed Spike’s arm and began pulling him away. Spike struggled with himself to follow, but his ‘training’ kept nagging at him that he was supposed to stay with his master. That he would be caught and then punished for running away again. Xander felt Spike slowing down and almost growled in frustration.

“Come on. Spike, we have to go!”

“I know. I just…”

Xander knew all about conditioning thanks to his soldier memories. He knew that Spike was having difficulty disobeying his programming, but they didn’t have time for this right now.

“Spike. Riley Finn is an asshole; he isn’t worthy of you or your protection. Let the big grey bastards eat him and let’s go! I promise, I will stake you myself before I let him get his hands on you again. Okay?”

Spike looked at Xander in awe.

“You will?”

“Yes.”

“Promise?”

Xander took Spike’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“I promise. Now come on before they realize you’re missing.”

Spike and Xander ran from the cemetery in the direction of Crawford Street. They stuck to the shadows as much as possible and then cut through Miller’s woods. They were more than halfway there when they heard a group of people behind them. Xander swore softly and Spike sped up dragging Xander behind him.

“Soldiers?”

“Probably, yeah. They patrol the town nightly.”

“You think they saw us?”

“Don’t know. Keep running.”

As they continued to run toward the mansion, a thought suddenly occurred to Xander. The Spike in his world had a tracking device implanted by the Initiative; it made sense that this Spike did as well.

“Tracking device.”

Spike spun around and looked at Xander.

“What?”

“My Spike… er, that is to say, the Spike in my world had a tracking device. Okay it was shot into him from a rifle, but still. Is there a possibility that you have one?”

Spike thought about the last -and only - time he had run away from Riley. He hadn’t made it further than the bus station when he was rounded up by a group of soldiers.

“Bugger! How do we get rid of it?”

“Dig it out. Problem is we have to locate it first. Hopefully they aren’t looking for you yet.”

They continued to run toward the mansion hoping that either Angel would be early or that the soldiers weren’t following them. It was still only an hour or so after sunset. If the soldiers were following them… they were in a world of trouble.

Xander spotted the mansion up ahead and with renewed vigor increased his pace. He couldn’t believe that he was relying on Angel, of all people, to save him - especially after the place he had just come from. Oh well, he would hit him after they were safe and sound in L.A.

The front door of the old house was locked up tight so they made their way around the back and broke in through the basement window. Spike pulled his lighter out of his coat and lit the way to help Xander see their surroundings. The basement was dusty and dank but at least they were safely inside. Now if only Angel would get there soon.

Part 13

Angel could sense Spike’s presence as soon as he pulled into the driveway of the old mansion. Unfortunately he could also sense several humans as well. He leaned over the back seat and informed his co-workers. If these soldiers in Xander’s vision were the same ones that had captured Spike - and it was probable that they were - they would know he was a vampire on sight. As much as he hated it, he had to let Wesley and Xander do the first search of the house and the grounds.

Xander and Wesley were checking around the side of the mansion when they heard footsteps approaching. Xander quickly pushed Wesley into the wall and began kissing him passionately. When three armed soldiers came around the corner - weapons drawn - the lovers pretended to be startled.

“Stand down!”

The man in the lead ordered the other two to holster their weapons while he looked at Xander and Wesley with unhidden disgust. Xander licked his lips and eyed the soldier appreciatively. It was the easiest way he could think of to get rid of them. Most homophobes thought gay men were all perverts who would fuck anyone. In this case, Xander was hoping to use that to his advantage.

“Look Wes, soldier boys.”

Xander purred in his most seductive voice. It took Wesley a few seconds to catch on but once he did he played along.

“Mmm, very nice. Haven’t had a military debriefing before. You boys want to play?”

The soldier looked at the two in disdain and backed off. He nodded for his men to move out before backing away even further.

“You should go home. It isn’t safe out here at night.”

That said, he quickly left to catch up with his men. Xander looked at Wes and grinned.

“A debriefing? Wes, that was great! Looks like I’m rubbing off on you.”

Xander raised his eyebrows in a cheeky manner at him. Wesley just smiled and took Xander’s hand. They continued to make their way around to the back of the house. They spotted the broken window and were about to climb in when Angel joined them.

“The humans are gone. How did you manage that?”

“Homophobia.”

Xander winked at Angel and then dropped down through the window. Wesley and Angel followed right behind him.

Angel could hear three heartbeats. He assumed the third one belonged to the other Xander and began to hone in on it. Wesley and Xander followed behind him as he led them further and further into the basement. When they reached the door to the room with the furnace and water heater, Angel stopped.

“Spike, I’m here. Come out.”

A few seconds later, Xander stepped out of the room. He looked at Angel, then at Wesley, and then lastly at himself. He shook his head and ducked back into the room. Angel could just make out Spike’s voice as Xander talked to him. A few minutes after that, Xander returned dragging a somewhat wary Spike behind him.

“Okay, Deadboy. Let’s get the hell out of here before Finn and his commando boys come looking for Spike.”

The other Xander chuckled and then grinned at his double.

“Deadboy. Haven’t used that one in years, I think I miss it.”

“I don’t!”

Angel growled and spun on his heel. He stopped below the window and listened. Once he was sure it was safe, he jumped up and grabbed the ledge before pulling himself through. He reached down for Wesley who gave him his hand allowed the vampire to pull him up. The Xander of this world was next.

Spike and Xander stood underneath the window and looked at each other. Spike was still heedful of getting caught and he didn’t know if he could actually do this. Maybe he would be better off just asking Xander to stake him. The boy said that they were friends in his world, and he had helped him to escape. Would he do this as well? Put him out of his misery? Xander broke into the vampire’s thoughts.

“Your turn, bleach boy. Up you go.”

“Why me? Why don’t you go first?”

“’Cause I don’t trust Angel to pull me through the window. He’ll probably bash my head ‘accidentally’ or drop me on my ass. You go first and then help me up.”

Spike grinned at Xander’s distrust of Angel. This human was amusing; he could see why he would be friends with him. Spike grabbed the window ledge and pulled himself through before reaching back in for Xander.

Once they were all outside they headed for Angel’s car in a hurry. None of them had the desire to stay longer than necessary. Xander jumped into the back seat and Spike got in beside him. He knew Spike didn’t exactly trust the other humans in the car, and his relationship with Angel was tenuous at best. He figured it would be better if he sat beside Spike on the way to L.A.

Wesley and the other Xander piled into the front seat with Angel. Neither man wanted to sit any closer to the blond vampire than they had to. He might be chipped, and also the victim of this particular vision-inspired rescue, but he was still a demon.

The ride back to L.A. was made in relative silence. Spike fidgeted and squirmed in his seat until Xander took both of his hands in his and held them. He figured this was the easiest way to calm him; touch always seemed to work for him when he was scared or nervous. Spike actually offered him a slight smile and relaxed a bit. Xander didn’t relax until they reached L.A.

Angel parked the car at the hotel and everyone got out. Wesley and Xander made their excuses and beat a hasty retreat. Angel had already told them earlier that day that they should stay away from the hotel for the next couple of days. He needed time to make sure Spike wasn’t a threat to them before they came back.

Xander looked around the lobby and whistled. The place was huge. He had never been to see Angel in L.A.; he had no reason to visit, after all. He hated Angel, and he and Cordy weren’t exactly on speaking terms. Willow had told him about this place, but seeing it was another thing entirely.

“So, is there room here for the two of us or do we need to find a hotel?”

Spike snorted and then looked around nervously. He would need time to overcome his conditioning. Angel noticed his childe’s behavior but didn’t say anything. Instead he turned to Xander and frowned.

“You know, you’re nothing like the Xander I know. He grew up.”

“Yeah well… You’re exactly like the Angel I know - still a depressing, broody bastard with no sense of humor. Oh, and I wanted to ask? Just what the hell were you thinking with the whole ‘open Acathla and suck the world into hell’ plan, huh? ’cause I just spent two weeks in that reality, you asshole, and let me tell you I was lucky to make it out alive and… untouched!”

Xander felt all the rage he had stored up inside him bubble out, and before he knew it he swung out and decked the stunned vampire. He shook his arm to lessen the impact pain and let out a calming breath. He smiled at Spike and then turned to Angel who was rubbing his jaw.

“Well. I feel better. Now about those rooms?”

Angel gaped at Xander, and Spike burst out laughing. Maybe he’d be all right after all.

Part 14

Angel showed Xander and Spike to a couple of rooms right across the hall from each other. He made sure they were far enough away from his so as not to disturb him, but still close enough that he could keep an eye on Spike. For all the camaraderie between them, he still didn’t trust Spike not to try to eat Xander.

After showing them to their rooms, Angel made the mistake of asking if there was anything else that they needed. Xander immediately answered that food would be a good thing, and possibly some clothes so he could shower. Angel gave them directions to the hotel’s kitchen, and then disappeared into his room to find suitable clothing for his… guests.

Downstairs in the kitchen, Xander was making himself a couple sandwiches while Spike tried to figure out how to work Angel’s ancient microwave in order to heat his blood. It was not going well.

“Bloody hell! The bleedin’ poof lives in a fuckin’ hotel for Christ’s sake - you’d think he could buy a microwave than doesn’t have a dial on it.”

Xander chuckled and walked over to see what the problem was.

“Oh, I remember these. My grandparents had one, you have to turn this and then push that. See? ’Sides, I’m surprised Deadboy even has a microwave, I didn’t think he could wrap that Cro-Magnon brain of his around the concept of modern technology.”

Spike turned and studied the human who had, for lack of a more accurate description, saved him. He noticed that while he was open and friendly with him, he was downright rude and snarky to Angel. He figured it couldn’t be just an ‘all demons are bad’ thing, otherwise the boy would have left him to Finn. He wondered what Angel had done to him.

“You really hate him don’t you?”

“Who Angel? Yeah, I guess I do.”

Xander was just finishing making his sandwiches and cleaning up after himself. Spike retrieved his blood from the microwave and walked over to join him.

“How come? I mean if you hate him, which you obviously do, how come you’re here?”

“It’s complicated. Angel and I have never liked each other. Plus there is that whole ‘suck the world into hell’ thing. That place was horrible. God, I can still smell it, hear the sounds when I close my eyes. If I hadn’t shifted out when I did…”

Xander shuddered as he once again felt the clawed hands on his skin, the slimy tongue tasting his skin. He noticed Spike looking at him oddly and shook it off.

“Anyway, in my world, he offered me to you as a snack on parent-teacher night. He was trying to fool you, or so he would have everyone believe. Personally, I think he’d have been happy if you had eaten me.”

Spike couldn’t help but grin at the image of his sire presenting him with this tasty young man as an entree. It never would have worked; Angelus would have turned the boy, not eaten him.

“That never happened here. I would remember something like that. So, you still didn’t answer the question. Why are you here?”

“Better than there. I mean, at least here I know what to expect. Angel is a vampire; he has a soul, yada yada yada. There? Those people are not normal. They’re nothing like the gang in my world. I think Riley and Giles had Dawn killed, and look at how they treated you. Okay so yeah, we chained you up in the bathtub until we were sure you couldn’t hurt us, but we fed you and didn’t… torture you.”

Spike smirked at Xander and raised an eyebrow.

“Chained me in the tub? Well, better than having me fangs ripped out. Any other little bondage scenarios you’d care to share?”

“Uh, I ah… tiedyoutomybarkaloungerwhenyoulivedwithmeinthe basement.”

“You tied me to what?”

“A chair. In my basement. So you couldn’t eat me in my sleep. It was stupid, but I was scared of you.”

Spike puffed up a bit at that information. It had been a long time since anyone had admitted to being afraid of him. He could have wept for the sheer joy of it. Instead he smiled at Xander and then drained his mug. Xander watched the vampire feed with a mixture of curiosity and disgust. Whenever he’d seen his Spike feed, the vamp had gone into game face, this Spike didn’t. It was weird seeing him drink blood while looking human.

“Hey, Spike? If we didn’t meet on parent-teacher night, when was the first time you tried to kill me?”

“Well, there were a bunch of times. Let’s face it, hanging out with the slayer will make you a target. I think it was that time I kidnapped the witch; any other time, you just happened to be around when I went after the slayer - wasn’t personal then.”

Xander couldn’t help but grin at the matter of fact statement. It was true; hanging out with Buffy did make him a target. But in the end, what he was doing - helping to save the world - was worth it. Spike rinsed his mug and headed for the door before turning back to Xander.

“So. You think the old poof has a telly?”

Part 15

Two hours later, two battered, weary, and bloody vampires trudged up the stairs of the hotel to their rooms. They had started off with light sparring, but it rapidly turned into something of a brawl. Angel had forgotten how fast Spike was, and how quick he was to learn his opponents’ weaknesses. All the years apart had made his childe a finely honed killer. He knew that Spike needed the release that a fight would give him; he had never liked being helpless in the past, a fact that Angelus had used in his favor. Besides, he figured if he wore Spike out, it might save him some repair costs to the hotel.

Spike was looking forward to a long hot shower and then a good night’s sleep in an actual bed. He had been sleeping on an old army cot while staying with - being held prisoner by - Riley. The thought of a real mattress, clean comfortable bedding, and a soft pillow was almost enough to make him skip the shower but he was covered in blood and sweat, so a shower was definitely needed.

Angel showered quickly and then called Wesley and Xander to check in. He wanted to keep them up-to-date on his guests and the situation in the hotel. He didn’t have much to report, but figured they would appreciate the call.

“Hello?”

“Wes, it’s Angel.”

“Ah, how is everything there?”

“Good. Just thought I’d call and let you know I’m not dust.”

“Very thoughtful of you.”

“Could I speak to Xander for a minute?”

“Of course, one minute Angel.”

There was a pause while Wesley put the phone and went to get Xander. Angel could hear the approaching steps on the other end of the line just before Xander spoke.

“Hey Deadboy! What’s up?”

Angel growled in annoyance. He hated that nickname and was overjoyed when Xander had stopped using it. However, thanks to this other Xander it looked like it was going to be a frequent insult again.

“I really hate that name, Xander.”

“I know.”

Angel could hear the laughter in Xander’s voice and tried not to smile along with him. It didn’t work.

“Look, do you think you could pick up a few things for Xander and Spike tomorrow? You would know his size and I will give you the sizes for Spike. Also, I think I’m going to need some groceries; he eats the way you do!”

“Sure, just let me grab a pen and you can tell me what you want.”

Down the hall from Angel’s room Xander was having a nightmare. He was back in his cell; the orange-and-purple demon was coming toward him. When the door opened, Xander ran. He ran as fast as he could but the thing still caught him. He struggled uselessly against it, kicking and hitting it. He could feel it smelling him, tasting him. When the clawed hands unfastened his pants he screamed. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, it hadn’t happened this way, he had shifted!

Xander was trapped by the demon; he couldn’t escape. He continued to scream and fight, he looked over the thing’s shoulder and saw Willow watching from the doorway. She stared at him with her one green eye, blinking. Then she tilted her head ever so slightly and spoke.

“You left me to this, Xander. Why? Why did you leave me behind?”

Xander shook his head frantically as the demon’s hands roamed over his most private places.

“No! No Wills, it wasn’t my fault. I wanted to save you, I didn’t know how. Please. It wasn’t my fault. Please.”

The demon continued its assault, fondling his cock and balls - squeezing them painfully hard. He felt a long sharp claw reaching between his cheeks to probe at his anus and he screamed again. Willow began to laugh.

Spike had just finished drying off and pulling on a pair of sweatpants that Angel had left for him when he heard the scream. He knew all about those screams. They were the kind you made when you were helpless to do anything else. He shook his head sadly and left the room.

Xander hadn’t locked his door so Spike was able to enter the room without breaking down the door. He took a look at the thrashing, moaning man on the bed and then sighed. He wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do or not but it had always worked with Dru, so he slid into the bed beside him and began to softly stroke the boy’s back while talking to him.

“Come on, pet. Wake up now. Just a dream s’all.”

Xander stopped thrashing but he was still moaning and whimpering quietly. Spike continued to speak to him in the same low, soothing voice while petting him softly.

“You gotta wake up, Xander. I can’t do nothing to help you in your dreams, pet. Come on. Wake up, that’s it. Nothing here but you an’ me.”

Xander started to wake up slowly, shaking off the nightmare. He realized that he wasn’t alone in his bed, and tensed up until he heard Spike’s voice. He wanted to cry he was so thankful. He didn’t cry, but he did burrow into Spike’s arms and squeeze him tightly. Spike just continued to pet him and lay down next to the boy.

Angel hung up the phone with Xander and went down the hall to check on his guests; he thought he had heard screaming. When he looked in Spike’s room it was empty so he moved on to Xander’s. He cracked open the door and was shocked to see Spike in bed with the man, holding him and gently rubbing circles on his back. It was a familiar scene, but back then it was a different brunette that Spike held in his arms.

Spike was aware of Angel’s presence but didn’t say anything. What was there to say? He wasn’t doing anything wrong, Xander had rescued him, and he was just returning the favor. When Xander lifted his head to speak though, he put his finger to his lips to quiet him before glaring at the vampire in the doorway. Angel got the message and slowly closed the door.

“Sorry, luv, didn’t figure you wanted Angel listening in on something that’s obviously private.”

“Angel was here? Shit. Thanks.”

“No worries. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No. Not really.”

Spike nodded and just continued to lay there in bed with Xander. He knew he should leave but the heat was nice, and he could do with a bit of comforting himself so he stayed. Eventually, he heard Xander sigh in frustration.

“It might help to talk, pet. You don’t seem to be able to sleep.”

“I know. It’s just… It’s hard.”

“Yeah, but hey you survived it yeah? So it’s over with. Whatever it was, you lived through it.”

Xander took a deep, calming breath and then slowly let it out. He didn’t want to talk about it, he wanted to forget it ever happened, but he knew that it wasn’t going to just go away, and maybe he would feel better if he told Spike. It couldn’t make him look any girlier than laying here clinging to the vampire.

“It was awful, Spike. That place? It was so horrible, and I found Willow, only she was broken. She didn’t know me, she never even looked at me or spoke or anything. I held her and… nothing. She was so beaten, scarred. It was like looking at a person whose soul had left but the body kept living.”

Spike nodded to let Xander know he was paying attention and continued to pet him, trying to soothe him. Xander stared off into space for a moment before continuing.

“Just before the shift - before I ended up in this reality, a demon took me out of my cell. He - it was going to… rape me. I ran. I ran as fast as I could. I was just too weak from fighting and not eating, it caught me.”

Xander began to shake as the images assaulted him once again. He could hear Spikes low soothing voice speaking to him but he didn’t understand the words. He was aware of soft cool hands rubbing his back and he sighed. It felt nice, being held and comforted. He was beginning to understand what the other Xander meant when he said Spike wasn’t what he appeared to be. The man beside him was a caring, compassionate individual. Xander shook his head and began to talk again.

“In the dream, I didn’t shift. After the demon tore my shirt, he licked my neck and then went for my pants. That’s when it happened - the shift - but this time I was still there. Only I wasn’t alone, Willow was in the doorway; she was blaming me for leaving her there. I tried to tell her that it wasn’t my fault, that I couldn’t help her. The demon’s hands were everywhere, it grabbed my… and then I felt its claws at my… she was laughing at me, Spike. She laughed and said it was all my fault.”

Xander broke down and began to cry. Spike held him tighter and let him. He wasn’t sure what to do for him; when Dru was this upset he usually distracted her with sex. Somehow he doubted that Xander was looking to get shagged after that. Especially by a demon.

Spike held the sobbing boy and made quiet shushing noises as he stroked his hair. He waited until the boy fell asleep before trying to extract himself from the warm arms that had wrapped around him. Every time he got free of one, the other would tighten. Eventually he gave up with a chuckle and settled down to sleep. He just hoped the boy wasn’t upset with him in the morning.

Part 16

Waking up this morning was a new experience in the ever-increasing weirdness that is my life. Spike was beside me, or rather under me, sort of. I remember waking up last night after having a terrible nightmare - Demons, Willow, yada yada. So not going into that. Anyway, Spike was there, in the bed, holding me and comforting me. I’m not ashamed to admit that I needed the comfort.

I am surprised, however, that Spike was there. I mean yeah, I sorta saved him from Riley but I didn’t expect anything from him. I’m embarrassed to admit that I cried like a baby while he held me after I told him about my dream. I’m not sure how to deal with him today; I mean, do I pretend it didn’t happen?

A big part of me really wants to do that. Just pretend it never happened; but another part, a smaller-but-still-there part, doesn’t want to forget that for the first time since this mess started, I felt safe. I know, talk about crazy huh? I felt safe while being held by a vampire. Ha! If Buffy could only see me now!

I left Spike sleeping in my bed while I came downstairs to the kitchen. I made coffee and toast - Angel doesn’t have a lot of people food here - and tried to think of what I’m going to do while stuck here in LA. One thing’s for sure, I’m not going back to Sunnydale. Those people are nuts. If I ever decide to show this to my Giles, I might have to take these pages out first. I am not sure how he would handle knowing what he could have become, what all of them could become.

The ‘me’ in this world? I haven’t really met him yet. I mean I saw him, he was in the car the whole way back here with Spike and me, but he was strangely quiet. I say strangely ’cause you know, when am I ever quiet? I tend to babble when I’m nervous, not shut up. I think he’s with Wesley, as in with Wesley. Not that it bothers me; I mean Spike, then Faith. Wesley can’t be any stranger of a partner, right?

Wrong. I can’t help it. I think Wesley, and I see a nervous, uptight, tweed-wearing, busybody who bossed Buffy around and couldn’t pull his own head out of his ass long enough to see that everything isn’t black and white. Okay, unfair. I know, but that’s what I remember. Of course the fact that he works with Angel must prove that he has broadened his outlook somewhat. I just don’t see why I’m with him. Why he’s with him.

Spike and Faith I can almost understand. Okay, Demon-magnet Harris, right? So a gay or bi version of myself would inevitably wind up attracting either Spike or Angel. Can I just say how happy I am not to have run into a version of me that’s hooked up with Deadboy? Nugh! And Faith? Well, I did sleep with her, so obviously there was an attraction. Maybe it was the slayer thing? I lusted after Buffy, thought Kendra was pretty hot, why not?

So, what have I learned about myself so far on this little expedition? Ooh, big word, Giles would be so proud! I’ve learned that I am terminally attracted to Demons - ex or otherwise, and slayers. And apparently in at least one deviation, a former watcher. Why can’t I ever just find a nice normal person to settle down with?

Part 17

Spike found Xander in the hotel kitchen sipping coffee and reading a newspaper. He wasn’t sure how the boy wanted to treat last night so he settled for a noncommittal grunt as a greeting on his way to the refrigerator. Xander snorted in amusement and cocked his eyebrow.

“I see some things don’t change. Still as eloquent as ever first thing in the A.M., eh?”

“Piss off, m’tired. Somebody hogged all the blankets and I didn’t sleep well.”

Xander choked on his coffee and Spike smirked. That’d teach the boy not to insult him before he’d had his brekkies. Spike reached into the fridge and pulled out a large container of blood before setting it on the counter. When he turned around to get a mug from the cupboard he noticed that Xander was blushing and trying to hide behind the paper.

“Oh bugger! Look, I was just joking, all right? I’m not gonna take the piss with ya. Nothing wrong with needing comfort once in a while, especially after what you’ve been through. Tell ya the truth? I was glad for the company as well.”

That seemed to shock Xander into responding as he dropped the paper and looked at the vampire.

“Really? So you won’t say anything about…”

“Not a word. Promise.”

“Cool.”

Xander picked the paper back up with a sigh of relief and watched Spike move around the kitchen while he made his breakfast. He couldn’t help but chuckle at Spike as he scowled at the ancient microwave again.

When Angel walked into the kitchen an hour later, he was faced with a half-naked Spike laying on the table while Xander was running his fingers over his back and scowling. He watched for a few minutes trying to figure out what was going on. Once he realized that Xander seemed to be looking for something, he cleared his throat to get his attention.

“You ah, need any help?”

Xander looked at the puzzled expression on Angel’s face and smiled.

“Sure, know anything about tracking devices? I think Spike might have one in him somewhere.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because we’re talking about the military; they don’t like to lose what they consider theirs. Plus, I’m figuring this chip is a prototype, right? So it’s probably expensive. They won’t give up looking for him.”

The severity of the situation seemed to dawn on Angel. He knew some people who might be able to help but he wasn’t sure he trusted them to keep quiet.

“I can’t say I know anything about tracers, but maybe Wes could do a locator spell on him? He’s pretty good with magic.”

Xander looked at Spike who shrugged his shoulders.

“Call him. I’ll keep looking.”

Angel headed out to the office to call Wes while Xander continued his search for the implant. He hadn’t found anything so far, and he wasn’t sure if he would either. There was a very good possibility that any tracking device the Initiative may have implanted would be buried deep.

“You find anything mate?”

“Nope, not yet. Want me to stop? Wes should be here in a half hour or so.”

Spike shrugged his shoulders and said nothing. Truth was, he was worried about the watcher using mojo on him. He was never very comfortable around magic. Plus, Xander’s warm hands on his back felt kinda nice.

“If you want.”

Xander sighed and continued to search. He knew Spike well enough to know what he wasn’t saying. His Spike didn’t like magic, so this one probably didn’t either. He hoped he would find something, but knew it was likely that he wouldn’t.

By the time Wesley showed up, Xander had done a pretty thorough job of searching the vampire. He didn’t find the tracking device, but he did discover that Spike was ticklish - something he planned on using to his advantage if he ever made it home. See how big and bad he’d look while giggling like a schoolgirl- Just the thought of it made him snicker.

Xander - this world’s version - showed up about ten minutes after Wesley, laden down with shopping bags and boxes. Angel and Xander helped him bring everything into the kitchen while Wes set up his spell in one of the empty rooms. Spike was in the courtyard having a cigarette. He was still nervous about the spell but as Xander had pointed out, it was better than having Finn and his goon squad finding him.

Angel left the two Xanders in the kitchen while he went to fetch Spike. He wanted to get this over with quickly; the last thing he needed was a bunch of gung-ho soldiers storming his hotel.

While emptying the groceries, Xander noticed his double watching him. He figured he was curious about him, in his situation he would be, so he turned, smiled and asked him if he wanted to know anything in particular. His double gave him a sheepish grin.

“That obvious huh?”

“Well yeah, but then it’s not everyday you get to talk to yourself from an alternate reality.”

The other Xander smiled.

“Kind of like Sliders, huh?”

“Yeah, kind of. So what would you like to know about my oh-so-fascinating life?”

“I’m curious about Spike, I mean are you two…?”

Xander chuckled. Then he shook his head.

“Not this time. There was one world though, the second one I ended up in. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but they were cute together.”

That made the other Xander choke. He couldn’t grasp the idea of dating Spike. Sure Doyle had been half Brakken but he was a sweet guy, all heart. Spike was mean and nasty and would just as soon kill you as look at you. It just didn’t make sense.

“I don’t understand how you can take this so lightly. He’s a soulless killer, how can you trust him? I mean, I work for Angel, I even kind of like the guy now but I don’t trust him. One happy thought and he’d pull out my spleen, ya know?”

Xander tried to think of a way to explain his feelings about Spike, but the truth was he didn’t really understand them himself. He had written in his journal that Spike was his friend. He had gone so far as to tell the Spike of this world that very same thing, but the truth was, before he’d left home on this wacky adventure, he had been just as close-minded about Spike as his double was. It wasn’t until he really started to pay attention to Spike and ‘Xan’ that he saw who Spike really was under all the bluff and bravado.

“It’s complicated. A few weeks ago, I would have asked the same thing. But now? I know what he can be, what he’s capable of.”

“So do I, and if you ask me you should have left him in Sunnydale. I don’t like him, I don’t trust him, and I won’t come back here as long as he’s staying in this hotel. Tell Angel I’ll call him if I have a vision.”

Xander watched in open-mouthed shock as his double walked out of the kitchen. He couldn’t believe… well, yeah he could believe.

“Jeez, was I this much of an ass before all this started?”

Part 18

Spike fidgeted restlessly while Wesley finished preparing. He caught himself - several times - looking toward the door hoping Xander would come in. Of course every time he realized what he was doing it made him angry. He did not need a human to make him feel safe. It was humans who had hurt him this much in the first place. Besides that, Xander could disappear at any given time so it was best not to get attached. Nevertheless, he couldn’t stop himself from letting out a relieved breath when the man came into the room.

“So, we all set? What exactly is this spell gonna do anyway?”

Wesley cleared his throat and looked toward Angel, after receiving a nod from the dark-haired vampire he answered.

“It should tell us if there are any foreign objects in his body and where they are located. A bluish light will surround him and then disappear. If there is anything there, the skin in the area of the object will remain glowing faintly for approximately five minutes. Long enough to mark the area.”

“Will it hurt?”

Spike was glad Xander had asked that question as he refused to look weak in front of his sire and his sire’s human pet. Not that it mattered - he had been through a lot worse, he was sure.

“No, it won’t cause any pain, however…”

After a brief pause Xander prompted the man to continue.

“However what?”

“However, he will need to take off his clothes in order for the spell to be most effective.”

Both Wesley and Xander blushed. Spike snorted and began pulling off his boots. Angel sighed and closed his eyes. It had been a very long time since he had looked upon his childe naked, and he wasn’t sure if he could handle seeing the noticeable differences in his body. Spike had lost a fair bit of weight; he looked half-starved and Angel knew without even looking that he would resemble more of a living skeleton than a vampire.

“Can we just get this over with then?”

Spike wasn’t concerned about his nudity; he was actually enjoying the discomfort it was causing the others. He didn’t know what Angel’s problem was, he had seen it all before. But he knew why the watcher was blushing - he could smell his arousal. Xander just seemed to be embarrassed about being in the room with a naked man.

Angel held a marker in his hand while Wesley chanted. Once the spell was cast, Spike stood in a ball of glowing blue light. It seemed to seep into his skin and then fade away. Xander cursed softly when he saw the multitude of glowing blue spots adorning Spike’s pale skin. He was lit up like a Christmas tree.

Xander grabbed the marker from Angel as he was just standing there staring, and began marking the pattern of lights. Spike stood still, jaw clenched in anger and waited for him to finish. He counted sixteen marks all together by the time Xander had finished.

Xander grimaced at the thought of what Spike was going to have to go through. He knew that the mark on the back of his head corresponded with the behavior modification chip, but what the hell were the other fifteen for? He knew without a doubt that one of them would be a tracer - maybe even two as a backup but what the hell else was in there?

“We’re going to need to put him out.”

Angel’s voice startled Xander who was still trying to figure out what all could be in the vampire. Spike shook his head.

“No.”

“Spike…”

“I said no, Peaches. You will not put me out for this. Just give me a bottle of that Irish whiskey I know you have hiding in your room somewhere.”

Angel sighed but nodded and left the room to fetch the bottle. Wesley gathered up his spell ingredients and headed for the door as well. He turned back when Xander spoke to him.

“Uh, Xander’s gone already, just thought you should know.”

Xander shrugged his shoulders and Wes nodded before leaving the human and the vampire alone in the room. Xander looked around uncomfortably while Spike paced - naked - throughout the room. He was just about to offer to leave, to give him some privacy, when Spike spoke to him.

“Did this happen back in your world? Did your version of me have all…”

He gestured to the marks adorning his body.

“…this inside of him too?”

Xander shook his head and then ran his fingers through his hair.

“I don’t think so. See, back home after you escaped the Initiative you showed up at Giles’ and we grudgingly took you in. You spent some time chained up in the tub; eventually we realized you couldn’t hurt us and let you out. You stayed with me for a while when Giles’ lady friend came to visit. I told you about the chair, right?”

Spike nodded and then Xander continued.

“The soldier boys were still out and about looking for you; they spotted you one night walking back to your crypt and shot you with a tracer. You showed up at Giles’ and we dug it out. It wasn’t pretty. I don’t think my Spike, er, the Spike back home has anything else in him other than the chip now. Of course, you’ve been stuck as their guinea pig for a hell of a long time now, haven’t you?”

“Too bloody long. Did I thank you for getting me out of there yet?”

Xander chuckled and shook his head.

“Don’t offer to thank someone when you’re naked, okay?”

Spike looked down at himself and smirked.

“I didn’t think you went for blokes, pet. The other one does though, so maybe I’m mistaken?”

“Nope. Straight as they come! No interest in alternate lifestyles here. Nuh uh, no way.”

“I get it, yer straight. Was only taking the piss with ya, mate.”

Angel chose that moment to come back into the room, a bottle of whiskey and a very large first aid kit in his hands. He gave the bottle to Spike while he put some towels down on the bed and opened the kit. Xander wasn’t surprised to see an assortment of scalpels, tweezers, needles and sewing thread.

“Anytime you’re ready Spike. Xander, you might want to leave. This won’t be pretty.”

“Yeah, but then who will play nurse?”

Angel sighed but nodded.

“Your call, just don’t throw up or pass out.”

It took nearly two hours, but in the end everything except the chip had been removed from Spike’s body. The vampire himself had passed out from the pain - or the alcohol - after about an hour. Xander had cleaned each piece of technology as it had been extracted. He recognized three of them as being tracking devices. The Initiative certainly wasn’t planning on ever letting Spike get away. The others, however, he didn’t have a clue about. He followed Angel back downstairs after helping to move Spike back to his own room. He wanted to know if Angel had any clue what the other things might be.

Part 19

Xander was packing his things into a bag that Angel had given him. It was more of a sports bag than a backpack but it would do for now. His double had - apparently at Angel’s request - brought clothes for him. He had brought some things for Spike as well, so Xander had taken them upstairs and left them on the bed beside the sleeping vampire.

Angel had no clue what the little bits of metal he had dug out of Spike were. Xander had pointed out the three tracers and Angel immediately smashed them and then flushed the pieces down the nearest toilet. Now if only they knew what the others were for - Angel said he had a friend - David something or other - who could probably find out so he went to call him, leaving Xander alone in the kitchen perusing the contents of the recently restocked fridge.

Spike woke up feeling like a truck had hit him. He groaned and rolled over in the bed, right into a pile of clothes that he assumed were for him. He chuckled at the idea of Xander making sure he got dressed before leaving the room. Maybe the boy wasn’t as straight as he thought he was. Not that Spike was anyone to talk - he had never cared one way or the other what sex his partner was. Of course he wasn’t planning on bending over for anyone anytime soon. He pulled on the jeans and shirt - a pretty good fit - and then shoved his feet into his boots. He stuffed a pair of socks in his duster pocket - he’d put them on later - and headed for the kitchen. He was starved.

He found Xander hunched over the counter scribbling away in a notebook. He barely spared him a look as he headed for the refrigerator. He must have lost a lot of blood earlier ’cause he hadn’t been this hungry in a long time.

After pouring a large mug full and putting it in to heat, Spike drank the rest of the blood straight from the container - cold - he was that hungry. The microwave had barely signaled the end of its cycle when Spike grabbed the mug from within and drained it as well. His hunger sated, he was about to ask Xander if they knew what the hell had been inside him. He never got the chance.

Xander had just finished putting his journal away after writing down all the horrible details of what he had watched Angel do a few hours before. He knew Spike would want to know what they had found. He saw Spike open his mouth to speak before the hotel went dark and an alarm began to sound.

Xander shouldered his bag just as Angel ran into the kitchen. He tried to usher them toward the back hallway, and Xander caught him saying something to Spike about sewer access. Xander couldn’t see where he was going and was grateful that Spike had grabbed hold of him and was pulling him along in the dark.

Suddenly there were bright lights and Xander could clearly make out the game faces of the two vampires before he heard Buffy’s voice.

“Angel, step away from Spike. He’s all we came for. Let us have him and no one needs to get hurt.”

“I can’t let you take him Buffy. I know what kinds of things have been done to him, I won’t allow it to continue.”

Xander wished he could see Buffy, he really needed to know if she was aware of what exactly her ‘boyfriend’ had done to the helpless vampire. Unfortunately the boyfriend in question took that moment to begin issuing orders.

“Take them all down, we’ll retrieve the hostile afterwards.”

Spike turned to run but only got a few feet before he was hit with a tazer blast. Xander screamed as he watched him fall. He rushed toward Spike and felt himself get hit, the last thing he remembered was landing on Spike before the darkness took him.

Part 20

Well, it seems I’ve made a huge mess of things. Leave it to me to screw up the universe, eh? Thing is, I don’t regret it. I know if I hadn’t landed on Spike, hadn’t taken him with me, he’d be back in the loving custody of one Riley Finn and the Initiative. So how can I regret it? I am so glad Riley took off for the jungles of South America or wherever. I hate to admit that he had me fooled - he wasn’t the country bumpkin I had him pegged for. Spike saw through his act, though, and maybe Giles a bit. I’m glad Buffy missed his chopper.

We have Faith the vampire slayer on this world. She got out on early parole - supposedly for good behavior. If you ask me, though, the council had to have pulled some strings after Buffy died. Seems Willow never brought her back in this reality. Of course in this reality she’s still dating Oz, and I apparently live here in L.A. and run a magic shop with Ethan Rayne - my lover.

Yeah, that’s what I said, my lover. What the hell? I mean okay; the only woman I’ve been with in these other worlds is Faith? Is there no reality out there where I get a shot at happiness with the Buffster? (Buffy? If you ever read this, forget you just read that okay? You’re my friend and I love you, but the 15-year-old that I was is still yelling foul!) I’ve been paired up with Spike, Doyle, Wesley, possibly Angelus - I didn’t exactly want to know about that one (Yes I read the watcher diaries and I know what the sire/childe bond entails, I just refuse to think about it!) and now apparently, Ethan Rayne. I wonder what the Giles of this world thinks about that? Oh yeah and I’m a warlock or something here as well. Cool huh? And Giles thought my magic skills entailed setting books on fire by speaking Latin to them- Showed you huh, G-man!

I still have the bag that the last Angel gave me so I now have more than just the clothes on my back. Unfortunately Spike doesn’t. He’s lucky he was wearing his boots and duster when he got hit, or rather I’m lucky. If he hadn’t been I would have to listen to him complain forever.

Angel was good enough to offer us a place to stay, on the condition that Spike doesn’t bother his employees and we tell him the full story of what’s happened so far. I don’t know if Spike is ready to tell anyone his story yet, and certainly not Angel. I told him mine, minus the gory details of course. He had the grace to look guilty for the whole Acathla fiasco, at least. I think I might just get in touch with the Angel of each new world I visit just to make the asshole feel bad. Yeah, so I’m bitter. Fuck off, you weren’t there.

Spike and I are gonna go out once the sun sets. I want to meet myself in this world, maybe he can teach me a spell to bind my belongings to me. That way I won’t have to worry about carrying this damn bag wherever I go. Plus, I just want to get away from Deadboy for a while; he still gives me the wiggins. I know he’s just one happy away from being Angelus again and that just does not inspire trust. Especially with both Cordy and Faith staying here; can you spell temptation boys and girls? I knew you could.