These Boots Are Made For Walkin'

by Singe

Warning: This one is rated PG13 for language and Peter's unfortunate choice in song lyrics. Also, I've never seen this episode so I'm taking all sorts of liberties with the action. 


"I saw a young cowboy, all dressed in white linen..." Doc Spengs is glaring at me again. I don't care. Nothing fazes Cactus Pete and his wild, neurotic band of Western Outlaws. Doc Spengs, Snake-Eyes Stantz and Wild Winnie - damned to hell desperadoes, every last one of us. They got ten thousand dollars in silver on my head alone.

"Ghost-riders innnnn the skyyyyy..." This sun is hot. It's melting the pine tar out of the new false fronts of the buildings. I can smell it, a clean green aroma overlaying the dust of the street and the scent of leather and horse shit. High Noon, baby. All the Dewey LaMorte Wild West potboilers in the world can't come close to this, the real thing. A real showdown. A real chance to get gunned down in the middle of the street. "Do not forsake me, oh, my darlinnnnn....." It won't happen. The four of us together are too strong. Walking in unison down the middle of main street I'm surprised the ground doesn't tremble. We don' need no stinkin' badges.

Yeah, none of the lawmen, bounty hunters, Frito Banditos and Pinkerton Detectives in the world can touch us, neither can this new guy...this sheriff...

...Wyatt Earp.

"Comma Tai Ai Yippee Yippee Yay! Yippee Yay! Comma Tai Ai Yippee Yippee Yay!!"

Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday are gunning for me. If I die today it'll be out of joy. Doc Spengs is hissing at me. Something about showing a little more decorum in the face of death. He's just not getting it. What tune would really tick my pardner off and leech some of the dread out of Snake-Eyes and Wild Winnie? Oh, I know...

"Gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg! Gonna tie my pecker to my leg!!" 


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