Archive: SWA-L
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns them. I imply no copyright infringement.
Rating: G
Summary: Thoughts.
Timeline: Set on Tattooine, during TPM
Tatooine, one night...
It was dark now, the stars brimming in the sky. He should have been back by now. Its not safe here. The others are asleep, thank goodness. They need to rest.
He stood, staring at the unfeeling sky, worry filling him. Inactivity was painful to him. Waiting was an accursed inevitability. He endured it with small grace.
The sand was silent, undulating dark curves stretching away into the night, meeting the star studded velvet beyond. On this small planet, this insignificant world, terrible events were being set into motion.
They were in the middle of chaos, their forms blocking back the darkness. Two men, their powers of great consequence, working to stop doom. It seems impossible.
He could feel the decay setting in, the slow, inexorable slippage of empire. It was ... unsettling. He had spent most of his life preparing to serve the Empire and it's people. Here he was, standing with a young queen and her people, against evil.
Some place beyond, in the great picture, he could feel the strands that bind them all together slipping. Loosening.
All the years, all the events of those years, wouldn't mean a thing some day. They would be case aside as evil began its rise. He could taste the sulfuric bitterness on his tongue.
Qui-Gon was more hopeful.
He never wavered, never faltered. The older man's charisma held him, trapped him, made him quiver. He looked to his master for all that sustained him, his own powers not withstanding.
Soon he would be free, perhaps sooner rather than later. What then, Obi-Wan?
He turned and stared at the ship, its glistening sides reflecting the star field above. Inside was the hope of Naboo. They would have to be wise and skilled to succeed.
Qui-Gon was both.
The older man was his mentor, his father, his brother, his leader. When had he become more? Obi-Wan was not sure. He looked at the tall, powerful man one day and knew he loved him.
It was ... unsettling.
Obi-Wan turned and stared once more at the dark sand, sending his mind along its smooth surface, searching for the one who gave him meaning. Beyond the dunes, in the settlement below them, his mentor searched for their salvation.
Here, with me, you are mine, he thought, lost for a moment in the pleasure of such thinking. He wanted more, needed it deeply, yet, he was afraid.
Qui-Gon never gave indication that he *needed*, let alone wanted, love. Of course, he accepted the love of the small boy he once was. He was gentle with Obi-Wan, caring for and teaching the youngster with devotion.
Qui-Gon was devotion.
Obi-Wan sighed, a pang of longing filling him. It was always so. How many times, on how many worlds, had he waited and worried? Too many to count. Each time it would come back to the same longing.
He walked to the edge of a dune, peering over, the sparkling lights of the settlement below him. Somewhere in that place, a tall man with a honeyed voice sought their salvation.
Honey. Smooth, soft, lovely.
He longed to hear that voice whisper to him, telling him words of love. He longed to feel that tall body cover his, touching him. He knew it would be wonderful. He knew it would break his heart with its loveliness.
He sighed.
Behind him, he listened to the small, almost imperceptible hum of their ship. Systems maintaining themselves, pulsing power here and there... life announcing itself, and he listened.
Below, in the town, life affirmed itself. A gasp of living in the midst of desolation. Below, in that town, there was hope for their mission. In their midst below was the only being he would ever love.
He would wait, patiently. A small smile quirked as he thought of that condition, the 'patient condition' he had struggled so hard to achieve. He would practice it, ever alert for danger. Soon, his mentor would arrive, bringing relief and escape, as he always did.
Soon, they would escape and the mission would continue. Once they were free of it, he would tell the tall, quiet man the feelings of his heart.
Once they were free of this mission, there would be time.
Obi-Wan stood on a dune, staring into the night, alert to his duties, his heart waiting. There would be time, when the mission was over. Soon, in some quiet place, he would tell Qui-Gon his heart.
He smiled at the thought.
c1999 Helmboy