What Keeps Me Down
by Amy Fortuna


Archive: master_apprentice, SWAL, WWOMB; anywhere else, just ask, I won't say no.
Archive Date: February 12, 2000
Category: POV
Disclaimer: George, I have no money, I spent it all on toys and fourteen showings of your movie. Therefore, don't sue me.
Feedback: Is what makes life worth living.
Notes: Inspired by "Leave," a song by REM from the soundtrack to "A Life Less Ordinary."
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: PG
Series: The 'inspired by a song' series--the same universe, but can be read in any order. Timeline is Color Them Wonderful, What Keeps Me Down, Star-Crossed Voyager, What Do You Say?, Can't Be Really Gone, In The Still of the Night, Leave It All Behind.
Spoilers: Yeah.
Summary: Qui-Gon's POV of That Scene.
Warnings: Follows canon...


I am spinning through the hazy air, drifting, falling. Is it my release at last, or a cruel mockery? Through the pain that lessens as I leave, I sense a faint call, a voice that I cannot deny.

Obi-Wan is calling me.

Oh, love, I am so sorry, but I must yield to this beauty that is seizing me.

I must...

And you drag me back to solid ground and your arms.

"Master," you say, and your voice is my anchor, your tears my touch to reality.

You're what keeps me down, prevents me from lazy eternity and forever rest for a moment longer.

And I remember what to tell you.

Oh, Obi-Wan, I love you, but you know.

Swear to me, my Obi-Wan. Promise me you'll train him. I see darkness either way, but if you--oh, love, you will, I know you--if you train him, there will be light beyond the darkness and we will be together forever.

If not, I see only the blackest of nights with no return to brighter days. And you will be gone, lost forever.

But I cannot tell you that.

Promise me. And I touch you, amazed that I see tears on your face. Am I that much to you indeed, my love?

Sharp pain races through me and I control a cry that would escape.

You have never looked more beautiful, my Obi-Wan, my Padawan.

I hold your eyes with my own--there is a long lonely wait ahead. I will meet you there when it is over.

Leave...I must leave now...the hazy brightness calls again and I cannot hold on any longer. I close my eyes and you sob briefly, laying your face over mine, lips touching far too lightly.

I'm the one who is leaving, but I feel like I'm letting you go.

Farewell...it is only for a little while.


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