Archive: M & A; SWC; The Rising Force, if Jaden wants 'em;
Darry's site; anyone else please ask
Category: Humor/parody
Disclaimer: They belong to George. The obsession is Pumpkin's.
I just put 'em in interesting situations.
Feedback: Always both welcome and appreciated.
Notes: Thank you to the SO who got me thinking about this story
again and the line about the chimes. Thank you to kaly for the beta.
Thank you to Mac, Emu, and Wolfe for the bunny.
Mac, you'll probably notice the absence of the beads. The boys will get
them out, eventually. Really. Would I lie?
I recently read "The Importance of Being Ernest" and now Obi seems to be
channeling Cecily. Please forgive me. It'll pass soon, I hope. If it
doesn't Qui may strangle him.
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: NC 17
Series: HST story 9
Summary: Obi Wan teaches sex ed.
Warnings: Spew, maybe. I'm never a good judge of the spew factor
in my own stories.
Obi Wan woke slowly and snuggled tighter against the warm body next to his. He let himself drift in that wonderful semi-awake haze. His mind drifted to what they had been doing a few hours before, what they would resume doing as soon as his master awoke. His stomach growled. Well, maybe a little while after his master awoke.
He felt Qui Gon's arms tightening around him, and he lifted his head to look at his waking master. "Hi."
Qui Gon's mouth curved into a sensuous smile. "Hi, yourself."
"Hungry?"
"A little."
"Let's order in."
"You always seem to have such good ideas, Padawan."
"Rodarian flatbread?"
"Perfect."
Qui Gon grudgingly releasing him, Obi Wan slid from the bed. "It'll only take a minute. I'll be right back."
"You better be."
Qui Gon watched appreciatively as Obi Wan left the room. "Obi Wan," he called out, "when you come back bring Master J'lath's box with you."
It wasn't long before Obi Wan returned carrying the box. He sat crossed legged next to his master. "Why did you ask me to bring the box?"
"We have to prepare for tomorrow's class."
"We're not covering all of them tomorrow, you know. The sexual aids are split over two classes."
"Really?" Qui Gon grinned.
"Yes, Master. Really."
"Which ones are we discussing tomorrow?"
"The ones used for penetration. Vibrators and dildos."
"Vibrators aren't always used for penetration."
"They're not?"
"No."
"That's a relief." Obi Wan pulled an object out of the box with a foot long handle and a round rubber head. "Because the idea of inserting this one kinda scared me."
Qui Gon laughed. "Be assured, Padawan. It's not for inserting. I believe they make attachments for that."
"Attachments?" Obi Wan wasn't sure whether to be relieved or suspicious that Qui Gon seemed to know so much about this subject.
Qui Gon sat up and poked through the box. He held up a piece of blue vinyl with a round base and a relatively narrow four inch shaft. "Like this. It fits over the top of the vibrator."
"Can you use it without attachments?"
"Certainly. I'd be happy to demonstrate."
Obi Wan handed over the device with mixed feelings. Qui Gon pressed a button on the side a soft hum filled the room. "Why don't you lie back, Obi Wan?"
His eyes glued to the device, Obi Wan complied.
"Relax. It won't hurt, I promise." There was no mistaking the amusement in Qui Gon's voice. He rested the vibrating head against Obi Wan's shoulder. "See."
"Hmmm."
Qui Gon moved the vibrator lower on Obi Wan's chest. He brought it to rest over a nipple drawing a gasp from his apprentice. Chuckling softly, he moved it to the other side.
Gradually he moved it lower. Obi Wan was twitching slightly. Reaching his groin, Qui Gon bypassed his cock and placed the vibrator on the inside of his thigh. Obi Wan parted his legs as the vibrator moved upward. It was pressed against his perineum, his sack resting on the ball of the vibrator. He cried out.
Qui Gon rolled the vibrator over his balls and onto the base of his shaft. Obi Wan's hands dug into the sheets. "Master," he panted. Qui Gon continued the rolling motion. With each turn the vibrator moved higher on Obi Wan's cock. Then he reached the area just beneath the glans. He pressed Obi Wan's cock back against his abdomen, diffusing the vibrations.
Obi Wan's hips bucked up against the vibrator and he came. The powerful sensations created by the device combined with the look on Qui Gon's face as he watched Obi Wan to give him one of the most intense orgasms of his life. He even heard chimes.
The humming stopped as Qui Gon turned off the vibrator and tossed it on the bed. Then he rose and grabbed a robe.
"What?" Obi Wan stuttered. "Where are you going?"
"To answer the door. I believe dinner just arrived."
"Oh." Chuckling and shaking his head slightly, Qui Gon leaned over and gave his apprentice a gentle kiss.
"I'll be right back. With food."
With effort Obi Wan managed to raise his head enough to watch Qui Gon walk out the door.
Qui Gon returned carrying a large flat box and two bottles. He handed the bottles to Obi Wan before setting the box on the bed. Obi Wan immediately opened it. He inhaled deeply, savoring the smell of warm bread and tomato sauce.
"I see you ordered your favorite," Qui Gon observed as he settled, robe removed, back onto the bed.
Obi Wan had the grace to flush.
"That's quite all right, Padawan. I don't mind pineapple too much."
Obi Wan laughed suddenly, receiving a quizzical look from his master. "I just got this image of us stranded on a tropical island. Nothing but sun, sand and pineapple."
"Or coconut."
Obi Wan made a face. "I don't like coconut." He handed Qui Gon one of the bottles.
"I know that. But coconut is a distinct possibility. In fact I think it's more likely we'd find coconut than pineapple."
"This conversation is perfectly ridiculous."
"You started it."
Obi Wan glared at him as he bit into a piece of flatbread. I'm disappointed in you.
"Me? Why?" Qui Gon was a little alarmed.
"You're a master. Can't you think of a better retort than 'you started it'? I feel like I'm back in the creche."
"It was not a retort. It was a simple statement of fact."
"Oh, well, that's different then."
They ate for several minutes in silence.
"Master, I think we'll have to talk about women this time."
"I suppose so. After all, women are more likely to use harnesses."
"And dildos."
"I think you've already proven otherwise."
Obi Wan flushed. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that."
Qui Gon tilted the box so that he could peer into it. "Which one did you use?"
"All of them."
"All of them?" Qui Gon repeated incredulously. "Whatever for?"
"I started with the smallest one and worked my way up. I almost chipped a tooth when I accidentally hit a button on the pink one. It's really a vibrator."
"Good thing you have Jedi reflexes. That would have been tough to explain."
"Yeah. Kinda like losing track of something you've inserted."
Suddenly uncomfortable, Qui Gon replied, "I would suspect so."
Obi Wan kept his amusement to himself. "What do I get to use on you?"
"What would you like to use on me?"
"What would you enjoy?"
"You choose. I'm open to pretty much anything."
"I would prefer it if you chose, Master. I want to please you."
"I can't imagine that anything you did to me would not please me."
"Hitting you comes to mind."
"Under the right circumstances, in the right place..."
"Master!"
Qui Gon chuckled. "Very well, Padawan. I will choose. What are my options?"
Balancing his flatbread in one hand, Obi Wan pulled the box to him with the other. "Should we stick to just the items for tomorrow's class?"
"It might be best, given your students' apparent need to ask for detailed descriptions of exactly how things feel."
"I think your demonstrations encouraged that, Master."
"My demonstrations? As I recall you participated quite eagerly."
"I'd never been seduced before. I assumed eagerness was a good thing."
"It is a good thing." Qui Gon's voice was firm. "But I was not seducing you."
"Come on, Master. Even the students noticed."
"You wanted to be seduced. After all the touching demonstration was your idea. And I wasn't the one fellating silicone."
"There's no need to get defensive." Obi Wan moved around the box to his master's side. "I wanted it. Wanted you." Then he leaned up and began kissing his master. Stopping he took the piece of flatbread from Qui Gon's hand and put it back in the box.
He moved so that he was kneeling in front of his master. For once he was actually taller than Qui Gon. Taking the other man's face in his hands, Obi Wan pressed their lips together oh so lightly. Qui Gon's arms wrapped him, hands resting against his back. He pressed more firmly. Then Qui Gon parted his lips and Obi Wan's tongue darted inside.
It was a long luxurious kiss. Qui Gon tugged at his hips and Obi Wan moved to straddle his legs, never breaking the kiss. His torso was flush against Qui Gon, his cock pushing against Qui Gon's abdomen. He sucked lightly on his master's lower lip, ran his tongue lightly over Qui Gon's palate, thoroughly caressing Qui Gon's mouth with his own.
Qui Gon tried to move against him, but Obi Wan stopped him.
Obi Wan. Please, more.
Not until you tell me what you wish me to do to you.
Qui Gon groaned in frustration.
What would you like, Master? He sent images along with the words. This? Qui Gon's cock in his mouth while he pushed a dildo in and out of his master.
The image elicited another groan.
This? The vibrator which had been used on Obi Wan, on Qui Gon.
This? The vibrator which had nearly chipped his tooth inside of Qui Gon.
Obi Wan felt his master's cock twitch.
He broke the kiss. "That one then." He smiled gently at his master. "That wasn't so hard was it?" The he reached for the box and rummaged around in it. He pulled out both the vibe in question and a small jar of lubricant. He held the jar up. "This one is edible," he said triumphantly.
"I didn't see you read the label."
"Well, uhh, I..."
"Just how much time have you spent reviewing the contents of that box?"
Obi Wan flushed. "Not that much. I have a good memory. I am a Jedi you know."
"You are indeed. A Jedi with an aroused and impatient master."
"Impatient? My master? Never." Obi Wan shook his head emphatically. "My master is the very definition of Jedi calm and serenity."
"Your master is seriously considering limiting his sexual activities to masturbation from now on."
"After all of the work you did in order to seduce me?" Obi Wan paused for a moment. "Unless you mean mutual masturbation. I wouldn't mind that. Although if that was all we did it might get a little boring after a while." Obi Wan grinned at him hopefully. "But maybe you'd tell me stories while we did it? That would keep it interesting."
Qui Gon buried his face in his hands. First his master, now his apprentice. Why couldn't he ever just win a simple argument?
"I'm sorry, Qui." Obi Wan said, gently pulling Qui Gon's hands away from his face.
"You've been taking lessons from the little green troll haven't you?"
"Not formal lessons. But I have watched him pretty closely."
"I thought so."
"I am sorry, love. Forgive me?" Obi Wan tried what he hoped sounded like a seductive voice. "Let me make it up to you."
"You could tell Yoda that I don't need kissing lessons."
"What?"
"Yoda has decided I need kissing lessons and that he should be the one to give them."
His Jedi control failed him utterly. Obi Wan was doubled up on the bed, clutching his sides, laughter pouring out of him. Qui Gon gazed at him steadily for a few moments, then surrendered.
It was several minutes before their laughter finally subsided. "Oww, my sides hurt."
"Mine too," Qui Gon answered.
Obi Wan rolled onto his side to look at Qui Gon. "Where would Yoda ever get such an absurd notion? I told him you were an excellent kisser."
"I told him that you were only humoring him when you said that."
"Why?"
"He was asking rather personal questions about our relationship. When I refused to answer, he said that if you could tell him how well I kissed why couldn't I tell him how well you..."
"How well I what?"
"Perform fellatio."
"Oh." A long pause. "I thought I was good at it."
"You are more than good at it, Obi Wan. You're incredible."
"Even for a novice?"
"The best I have ever experienced."
Obi Wan preened. "Really?"
"Yes, love. Really."
"Then why not tell Yoda that?"
"Because I refuse to discuss you in such a fashion with anyone. I respect and care for you too much to violate your privacy like that."
"Then why did you tell the class?"
"I told them we were lovers. I did not give them a detailed account of what we do in bed."
"I think they have a pretty good idea anyway."
A short laugh. "You're probably right. But I still absolutely refuse to give my peers details of our sex life."
"Peers?"
"I was quizzed about you the other day at lunch."
"Why are they all so damned curious?"
"I have no idea. Although I think Yoda does it just to try my patience. He seems to regard it as a training exercise."
Obi Wan chuckled. "I imagine you're right." He crawled toward his master until his face was over Qui Gon's. Qui Gon reached up to stroke his cheek.
"I still have trouble believing this is real."
"Me too."
"Kiss me."
"Yes, Master." He lowered his lips once again to Qui Gon's. His master's arousal built more slowly this time. Obi Wan did not seek to hurry it. He supplied light touches and gentle kisses, covering Qui Gon's face and neck before moving to his chest.
The line of kisses he had been trailing along Qui Gon's chest ended just above his right nipple. He squelched Qui Gon's disappointment with a kiss and then reached for the jar. Opening it, he tipped it slightly allowing a small amount of sticky liquid to drip onto Qui Gon's nipple. Then he repeated the action on the other side. Sitting the jar aside he straddled his master's hips.
Both nipples were circled by fingers, spreading the liquid evenly over hardened flesh. He rested a fingertip lightly atop each nub before moving them very slightly back and forth. Qui Gon moaned. Obi Wan leaned over and licked, very lightly at first one nipple, and then the other. Teasing fingertips alternated with an even more teasing tongue until Qui Gon was squirming.
"Please, Obi Wan," he gasped. "Please."
Of course, Master. Happy to oblige. Really.
"Obi Wan," Qui Gon growled. He wrapped his hand around Obi Wan's padawan braid and pulled his head down. Then he placed his other hand behind Obi Wan's neck and pushed him firmly toward his nipple. Obi Wan opened his mouth immediately and sucked hard on the flesh before him.
Qui Gon arched upward, hissing. "Yes."
While continuing to suck, Obi Wan maneuvered himself so that he was lying beside his master. His hand sought Qui Gon's shaft, curling around it. He stroked once, twice, then released it. Sitting up he reached for the lubricant and poured it liberally over his fingers.
His fingers went straight to Qui Gon's anus. He watched his master's face as he ran his fingers around the entrance. Then he pushed slowly inward. Qui Gon gasped, drawing his legs up and making the penetration easier.
Obi Wan quickly added a second finger. He turned them gently. He brushed Qui Gon's prostrate and felt Qui Gon tremble.
He reached out with the force and called the pink vibrator to his hand. Withdrawing his fingers, he coated it quickly. Then he slid it slowly into Qui Gon.
"Obi Wan," Qui Gon groaned. "Obi Wan."
"Yes, love."
"Only you."
"I know," Obi Wan replied gently. The vibrator was now fully inside his master. He turned it on to the lowest setting. Qui Gon's hips jerked, nearly dislodging it. "Do you want me to stop?"
"No. Don't...stop."
Obi Wan encircled his master's shaft with his free hand. Not stroking just holding. After a few minutes, Qui Gon's hand covered his and together they began to move. They stroked slowly at first, then faster, harder, until their hands were little more than a blur. Obi Wan continued to hold the vibrator firmly inside of his master with his other hand.
Qui Gon began to come. Obi Wan was entranced with the sight. He watched the come shooting from his master's body, landing on them both. Then he looked up at his master's beautiful face, contorted in pleasure. He switched rapidly between the two not wanting to miss a single moment.
As soon as it ended, he turned off the vibrator, withdrawing it carefully. Qui Gon reached for him and he lay down against his lover's broad chest.
They rested quietly for a while, not speaking, letting their deepening intimacy envelop them both. Until the grumbling of Qui Gon's stomach reminded them they hadn't finished dinner.
Obi Wan sat up and retrieved his master's flatbread from the box. Silently, he handed it to his master.
"Thank you, love." He sat up.
"You're welcome."
He took a piece for himself, but it was quickly forgotten as he watched his master.
"Obi Wan?"
"Hmm?"
"Is something the matter?"
"No, Qui Gon. Nothing is the matter." He smiled up at his master. "I was just thinking about how beautiful you are."
"Beautiful? Eating flatbread with my hair a mess and my chest covered with," He glanced quickly downward, "semen and lubricant."
"Yup." Silently he added, You. My lover. In the middle of our bed, happily eating, covered with evidence of our lovemaking. How could I not find that beautiful?
Qui Gon smiled at him. "I suppose I can see the appeal."
Obi Wan grinned at him. Leaning forward he kissed him while gently pushing him onto his back.
Qui Gon groaned against the younger man lips. At least let me finish eating first.