Category: Humor/Parody
Disclaimer: They're George's. If I had 'em they'd have a sex
life. Obi would have a thing for Qui Gon's hands and spend a lot of
time leaning against a wall being ravished by a very masterful master.
The Jedi would also teach sexual techniques to their members, err,
initiates.
Feedback: Of course. Always both welcome and appreciated.
Notes: Emu, Mac, and Wolfe actually conceived of this. I just
write 'em.
Thank you to kaly for the beta.
For Ziggy.
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: PG
Series: Humanoid Sexual Techniques Story 6
Summary: Obi Wan teaches sex education.
Warnings: Spew warnings. At least I hope it needs spew warnings,
because if it doesn't this is a huge waste of bandwidth.
Obi Wan caught up with Qui Gon in the hallway outside of their quarters. "Hello, Padawan."
His grin lit up Obi Wan's face. "Master."
"How was your day?"
"Fine. And yours?"
Qui Gon remembered the interrogation he had endured at lunch. "Interesting."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
Qui Gon laughed. "That's all right. I am sure this evening will make me forget all about it."
Obi Wan flushed. "I hope so, Master."
Qui Gon slid an arm around his shoulders. "I have no doubt of it."
As they settled down to dinner, Qui Gon asked how Ragen had found the class.
"He didn't say much. He did mention that the students missed us."
"They did?"
"Well, they missed the demonstrations."
"I don't think vaginal intercourse is something we could demonstrate, even if we had the necessary body parts." 'The other masters would have my head,' he thought to himself.
"Things seemed a bit intense over at the master's table today. Is everything okay?"
"It's fine, Obi Wan. But it seems we've become celebrities of a sort among the padawans."
Obi Wan nodded. "It's a little disconcerting."
"It'll pass. The class is nearly done, is it not?"
Obi Wan nodded. "Just a few more classes."
"What's next?"
"Anal intercourse."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. Why would I lie?"
"I didn't think you'd lie Padawan. I just didn't think..."
"That you'd ever be teaching a bunch of Padawan's how to bugger someone?"
Qui Gon desperately clutched his napkin to his mouth, trying to prevent the water he had been drinking from spraying across the table. "Where did you learn that word?"
Obi Wan shrugged. "I don't remember. Why?"
"No reason. It's just not something I ever imagined hearing you say."
"You imagine things I might say?"
Qui Gon actually blushed. "Sometimes."
"What kind of things?"
"I'd really rather not..." Qui Gon began.
"But how can I ever say them for real if you don't tell me what they are?"
"I, uhh, they're the kind of things you might say anyway."
"Really? Well can you give me some examples? That way I'll know in which direction to concentrate my efforts," Obi Wan replied innocently.
Qui Gon had never been so grateful for the sound of a door chime in his life.
Heading for the door, Qui Gon completely missed his padawan's smirk.
The young padawan at the door seemed a bit awestruck. Nevertheless, she managed to convey her message. Qui Gon's presence was requested by the Council.
"Thank you. Please tell them I will be there shortly." The young woman nodded and left.
Qui Gon returned to the table.
"You're in trouble again aren't you?"
"I don't think so. I think they are probably just jealous of my fetching apprentice and want to keep me busy so I can't enjoy his charms."
"Nice try."
Qui Gon chuckled. "Seriously, I don't think I am in trouble. Can't imagine anything I've done recently that would warrant a Council summons."
"Uh, huh." Obi Wan was clearly not convinced.
"You worry too much, my Padwan. If I'm not back by the time you're ready for bed, please feel free to sleep in my bed if you wish. I would enjoy coming home and crawling in next to you."
His apprentice smiled at him. "Thank you for the invitation. I will."
"With any luck I'll be back long before either of us is tired." Leaning over he bestowed a lingering kiss on his apprentice. Then he left.
Obi Wan awoke the next morning to find himself snuggled against Qui Gon's back. Smiling, he decided that he really enjoyed sleeping in his master's bed. Too bad they hadn't had the opportunity to do anything else, but Qui Gon had gotten home only a few hours before. Obi Wan had awakened long enough to be reassured that it had simply been another meeting about conditions in the Reulvan Sector. Then he had nestled against his master and drifted off once again.
Thinking they would be late for class if they did not get moving, Obi Wan placed a kiss on the back of Qui Gon's neck, another between his shoulders. He received an 'mmm' in response.
Raising himself up slightly he rested his chin on Qui Gon's shoulder. "I can teach the class alone. You need rest," he said quietly.
"Nonsense." Qui Gon rolled over, pulling him into an embrace. "Do you really think I would miss an opportunity to watch you teach a class on anal sex?" He said it with a perfectly straight face, then followed his comments with a gentle kiss.
Obi Wan groaned. He had believed that the classes would get easier now that they were lovers. Hearing the mischief in his Master's voice he began to doubt that belief.