Archive: M&A; SWC; The Rising Force; everyone else please ask
Category: Humor/parody
Notes: As you all know, this wasn't my bunny. I've been asked
to compliment Mac, Emu, and Wolfe on their inventive and twisted minds.
So I will. You all have delightfully twisted imaginations. Thank you for
birthing this bunny. I'm enjoying caring for it.
Another big thank you to Raven for the input. Hon, Oral Stimulation
Level Two is next. I'd really love another list. And I know how you
enjoy research...
Thank you to the Sith Chicks listmom, Becky, for the hair
suggestion.
I am once again in debt to kaly for the beta, and the support. Thank
you.
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: PG 13, inching closer to NC17
Series: Humanoid Sexual Techniques, story 3
Summary: Obi Wan teaches sex ed. This class covers touching.
Warnings: If the last two made you spew, this one probably will to.
Author accepts no responsibility for damaged computer equipment. Eat and
drink with caution while reading this.
Obi Wan and Qui Gon entered the classroom together. Qui Gon, as usual, was the epitome of Jedi calm. But Obi Wan suspected that there was some trepidation beneath that calm. He was, after all, about to strip off his tunic and allow himself to be caressed in front of twenty-one curious adolescents, by his apprentice, who was experiencing a wild mixture of emotions. Glee at the possibility of getting a measure of revenge for yesterday's little demonstration, concern over whether or not he would get it right, and, he had to admit to himself, lust.
The students were already in the room.
"Good morning." He greeted them as he stepped to the podium. A sidewise glance at his master, "As you can see Master Jinn has consented to join us again today."
Qui Gon nodded to the students as he squeezed himself into one of the small desk chairs. It required that he wiggle in a manner Obi Wan found both amusing and oddly exciting.
A voice from the back of the room, "Does this mean there will be another demonstration?"
Obi Wan kept his grin at bay. "Yes."
"Who's going to be touched?"
"You wouldn't want me to ruin the anticipation by revealing that would you?" Obi Wan replied.
Another voice, "Maybe they both are." Laughter.
"Well," Obi Wan admitted, "that would make for a more accurate demonstration."
"Will Master Jinn be attending all of the classes?"
"And will they all have demonstrations?"
Obi Wan looked over at his master, amusement written across his face. "I don't know. You'll have to ask him."
"I don't know if I will be attending all of the classes. And as for demonstrations, I haven't yet seen the entire syllabus, so I can't answer that." Obi Wan had to admit that very little shook the man's composure. He found that he really wanted to shake it, to see that composure shattered. An image of Qui Gon naked, begging him for a touch, a kiss, came unbidden to his mind. It was a most enticing image.
Qui Gon smirked. He couldn't have seen it. But that knowing look... Obi Wan swallowed hard. Forced himself to concentrate on the subject at hand.
"Let's begin, shall we. Before we talk specifically about types of touch I'd like to talk about the reasons we touch. How many can you name?"
Silence. "Come, now, you're all clever young padawans. Surely you've touched someone in your life. Why did you do it?"
"To give comfort."
Obi Wan nodded. "A very good reason. Any others?"
"To reassure."
"To train." Nervous titters.
Obi Wan nodded. "Yes, Masters seem to spend a great deal of time touching us."
You were the one doing the touching last night, as I recall.
At your insistence, Master.
But you enjoyed it nevertheless.
Obi Wan flushed.
"Instructor Kenobi."
"Yes?" Obi Wan responded.
"Do you want us to keep listing reasons for touching?"
"Umm, yes, please continue."
"For fun." Said a voice from the back of the room.
"Yes." Obi Wan flushed more deeply, remembering how much fun touching Qui Gon had been. "Maybe we should move on to ways of touching." He looked at Qui Gon. "Master, if you would..." He gestured toward a chair near the podium.
The corners of Qui Gon's mouth curled in amusement. "Certainly, Padawan." He strode to the front of the room.
Looking directly at his apprentice, Qui Gon removed his robe, handed it
to Obi Wan. Then he undid his belt, followed it with his sash, again
handing them to his apprentice. He slid the tunic from his shoulders,
handed it to his apprentice.
If Obi Wan had been able to tear
his eyes away from his Master's exposed torso, he would have noticed a
roomful of stunned students.
Qui Gon noticed them. He grinned as he sat in the chair. "Instructor Kenobi felt that it was my turn to be the demonstratee." He turned his head to look at Obi Wan. "Ready, Padawan?"
Obi Wan swallowed hard. "Yes, Master." He moved to stand behind Qui Gon. "The first technique for touching is feathery touch. It should be light, barely there." He raised his hands to Qui Gon's shoulders, ran his fingertips barely along them.
"Light touch is a little firmer." He ran his hands over the same path, his touch firmer this time.
"Gentle touch can be done with either your whole hand or just the fingertips." Again he confined himself to Qui Gon's shoulders, painfully aware of the twenty-one sets of eyes watching them.
"Exploratory touch is exactly like it sounds." This time he ran his hands down over Qui Gon's chest, found himself wanting Qui Gon to lean back into him.
"Not all touching is done with the hands." He turned around, looking for the feather. Finding it, he held it aloft. The sight was greeted with laughter.
Obi Wan chuckled along with them. "I know it seems ridiculous, but I'm told it can be very erotic. Shall we find out what Master Jinn thinks?"
He ran the tip of the feather down Qui Gon's spine causing him to squirm.
Control, Master, you must have control.
Qui Gon turned and gave him a look that would have terrified him when he was thirteen. But he wasn't thirteen any longer and his master could no longer easily intimidate him. He smiled back. Then casually ran the feather over Qui Gon's side. His master brought his arm down to protect his exposed flesh.
"I don't think Master Jinn finds the feather erotic." This elicited nervous titters from the students. "Perhaps we should move on to something else."
"A wise idea," Qui Gon intoned in his best Jedi Master voice.
"Then again, perhaps not." Obi Wan ran the feather across his other side. When Qui Gon squirmed and moved to block him, he moved the father rapidly to the other side.
You know, Master, I think this is more fun than lightsaber practice.
Move on, Obi Wan.
Obi Wan moved the feather to the side of his master's neck, flicked it back and forth rapidly. Ask nicely, Master.
Please.
Obi Wan smiled. "There. That wasn't so hard was it?"
Qui Gon glared at him.
"What wasn't so hard, Instructor Kenobi?"
Obi Wan flushed. "Nothing. I was speaking to Master Qui Gon."
"You do that a lot."
He flushed more deeply. "Well, yes. He is my Master."
"We noticed." Laughter greeted the remark, including Qui Gon's.
Obi Wan cleared his throat. "We do need to move on." Setting the feather aside, he pulled on the glove. Held it up for the students to see. "This glove actually contains a small vibrating egg." He turned it on, bringing more nervous titters from his students. "Seriously, it is quite pleasurable. Isn't it Master?" he asked as he applied the glove to the juncture of Qui Gon's neck and shoulder.
"It isn't as pleasurable as actual hands, Padawan, but it is rather relaxing."
Any hands? Or my hands? Obi Wan thought. His mind whirling with the implications of the statement.
He forced himself to focus. He did, after all, have a class to teach. "The other side of the glove is, Master Jinn tells me, somewhat ticklish." He held it up. "And a Jedi Master giggling is not a pretty sight so I think we'll just skip that part."
Wise decision. Qui Gon said.
I'm capable of discretion, Master. Unlike some others.
Padawan. I'm shocked. I'm the most discrete Master in the Temple. I'm known for my discretion. I...
Forget it, Qui Gon. I know you too well.
Removing the glove, Obi Wan picked up the bottle of edible lotion. "There are a wide variety of oils and lotions that can be used to, uhh," he paused, completely unsure how to finish that sentence. "For touching," he finished lamely. "This one is edible." His students giggled. "It is also rather sticky so I am not going to demonstrate it. Unless you would like me to, Master?" Qui Gon shook his head. Obi Wan grinned. "I didn't think so. But I'll pass it around so you can all see what it feels like."
He handed it to the nearest student.
A hand rose into the air. "But you haven't shown us where to touch."
"She has a point, Obi Wan."
Obi Wan glared at his master. "Well, uhh, most people, that is humanoids, enjoy being touched in a variety of places. And it kind of varies depending on the person. So you just have to explore, find out what your partner likes."
"But how will I know what my partner likes?"
"You can always ask."
"Or," Qui Gon added, "you can use your skills of observation. You're all Padawans, trained to notice the things around you. You have only to use those skills." He rose from the chair. "Padawan, if you would." He gestured to the place he had just vacated. Obi Wan glared at him, but sat anyway. Qui Gon stood behind his apprentice, resting his hands lightly on his shoulders.
"There are several things to watch for," he continued, as his hands moved slowly up the side of his Padawan's neck. His fingers stroked lightly.
Relax, my Padawan.
He ran the fingers of one hand gently across Obi Wan's cheek. Felt Obi Wan lean into the touch. "For example, does the person lean into your touch?"
Obi Wan flushed slightly, brought his head up again. Qui Gon moved his fingers down his padawan's throat, sliding them into the opening of his tunic. "Watch the person's face. Something I can't do at the moment, so you will all have to do it for me." Obi Wan cringed as his students laughed. "Do they close their eyes? You will also notice changes in expression, partially dilated eyes, slightly parted lips."
"Listen. Are there sighs, a sudden intake of breath?" he smiled, "Groans and moans are good indicators as well."
He leaned forward and asked quietly, "Would you care to moan for the nice students?"
Obi Wan glared at his master's profile. Only if you can make me.
Oh, I can make you, Padawan. But do you really want me to do it here?
"I think they know what a moan sounds like, Master," Obi Wan answered aloud, turning and looking resolutely forward.
Qui Gon chuckled softly. "Very well, Padawan." He turned his attention once more to the students. "Another thing to listen for is your partner's breathing. Is it becoming faster, more shallow?" One hand slid deeper into Obi Wan's tunic, sliding across his chest.
"I can understand the need to observe, Master. But, well, where do you start?"
Qui Gon smiled at the questioner. "With a new partner it is best to start slowly. Wouldn't you agree Obi Wan?"
The question startled him. He had lost track of what was happening around him. "Yes, Master, you're right, of course," Obi Wan answered. The class laughed at his obvious confusion. Qui Gon smirked. Obi Wan found that he really wanted to wipe that smirk off of his master's face.
Qui Gon continued. "Touch places that are not overtly, or solely, sexual. The face, neck, shoulders, even your partner's hands. Then move on to the chest, nipples, abdomen, and eventually the genitals. Now with a long time lover you may find that it is sometimes fun to move straight to the genitals. While slow explorations are highly recommended, especially at first, there is something to be said for an encounter that is fast and a little out of control. Don't you think so, Padawan?"
"Yes, Master," Obi Wan replied distractedly. Qui Gon's hands were still moving beneath his tunic.
"Are there any special touches for the, you know, genital area?"
"Well, again, it is highly individual. What is extremely pleasurable to one person may leave another cold. But there are some caresses you can try. On males, the head of the penis is often quite sensitive and running the thumb or fingers over it can be quite pleasurable."
He noticed that Obi Wan's attention had wandered again. Obi Wan, this is what we're discussing. The words were accompanied by an image of fingers, Qui Gon's fingers, moving over the head of a penis.
Obi Wan's eyes which had been slowly closing, flew open. He turned to face Qui Gon.
What.
Qui Gon chuckled in his mind. You may want to pay more careful attention. After all you're the instructor.
"Also," Qui Gon continued, as if nothing had happened, "if the individual has a foreskin it can be moved back and forth over the head. Rolling the shaft between your palms is another technique. That one works especially well with oil or lotion. Artificial lubricants have many uses, you'll find. Do you have anything to add, Obi Wan?"
Obi Wan shook his head.
"A good way to learn is to watch your partner masturbate. Or ask them to guide your hand, show you what they enjoy."
Obi Wan only half-heard his master's words. The man had impressive powers of concentration, Obi Wan had to admit. He was very deliberately caressing his Padawan while calmly discussing how to stroke penises. Now, if only those caresses were not being given in front of a group of students, inquisitive, easily amused students.
"On females..."
The bell rang. The sound startled Obi Wan. Qui Gon's hands did not move from inside Obi Wan's tunic. Nevertheless, Obi Wan dismissed his class, acutely aware of how they must look, Qui Gon shirtless behind him, his hands inside Obi Wan's tunic.
"What are we discussing tomorrow?"
"Oral Stimulation, Level Two." Obi Wan answered, feeling very proud of himself for keeping his voice level.
"Let's hope there's another demonstration." The others laughed as they headed for the door.
"I'll bet Instructor Kenobi is hoping for a demonstration too." The closing door cut off the laughter which greeted the remark.
Obi Wan tilted his head back, looked up at his Master. "Qui Gon, don't you think you should remove your hands now?"
"No, I don't. You did challenge me to make you moan. I intend to do just that." The shades on all of the windows were suddenly pulled downward.
Qui Gon moved in front of his apprentice. Knelt between his legs. "Since today's class was on touching, I should probably stick to touching. Just to be fair. So I promise, no kissing, licking, or sucking. Just my fingers, and hands, and maybe my hair."
He grinned at his apprentice. "You left that out you know. And it's even on the syllabus. Why do you think I keep it long? It's hardly practical, after all. But I've been told it feels quite good. Would you like to find out? Or should I just use my hands? Save the hair for another occasion?"
Obi Wan didn't answer. He didn't dare open his mouth. He was afraid what might come out.
Qui Gon chuckled. "No answer? I'll just begin then and you can ask for any changes you wish. How's that?" He smiled. Took Obi Wan's belt in both of his hands and easily unfastened it, pulled off the sash beneath and opened the tunic, exposing Obi Wan's chest.
This is feathery touch. He moved his hands slowly up his Padawan's sides, with fingers that were almost, but not quite there. He brought them down the front of his apprentice.
Light. He repeated the circuit. Felt the tension within Obi Wan increase.
Gentle. For the third time he moved his fingertips over the exposed flesh.
Gentle, with the whole hand. Obi Wan's arousal was obvious, as was his battle to keep from moaning.
Exploratory. Qui Gon began to move his hands over Obi Wan in small patterns. He left no part of his chest and abdomen untouched, except his nipples, which had hardened to small points.
There is one which was left off of the syllabus. Would you like to feel it? Obi Wan didn't reply. I thought you would. This, my Padawan, is demanding touch. Qui Gon's hands moved to every sensitive spot his explorations had uncovered. He pressed, he stroked, he commanded Obi Wan to respond.
Obi Wan choked back a moan. A finger moved slowly along the edge of a nipple, tracing. He held his breath in anticipation. Then a thumb brushed across it. He moaned.
See, Padawan, that wasn't so hard was it? Qui Gon stood, looking down at his highly aroused, partially naked Padawan. He leaned forward and kissed Obi Wan lightly. Spoke quietly, his voice low, "And if you pay attention you just may learn what you need to know to make that oh so enticing image a reality."
Then he gathered his clothing, draped it over one arm, and left.
Obi Wan just sat there, inhaling deeply, silently cursing the man.
He considered having lunch in his quarters. But Obi Wan knew that the longer he avoided his fellow padawans the worse it would be. Straightening his shoulders, he entered the dining hall. At least, he thought to himself, they wouldn't know about the private demonstrations.
Lunch tray filled, he approached their table, slid into his customary spot beside Bant. She looked at him, clearly struggling to keep the amusement from her face. "How was today's class?"
"You mean you haven't heard."
She couldn't keep a straight face any longer. "I heard something about a feather."
The entire table burst out laughing.
Obi Wan shrugged. "I'm afraid Master Qui Gon doesn't like the feather very much. It makes him giggle."
Ragen leaned forward. "He giggled? I didn't hear anything about Master Jinn giggling. Did you?" He looked around the table. Everyone was shaking their heads. "So, Kenobi, when exactly did this giggling occur?"
Obi Wan tried to sound nonchalant. "Last night." He looked defiantly around the table. "We couldn't very well go into class without doing any preparatory work."
"Preparatory work with Master Jinn. Somehow I doubt he needs much practice."
Obi Wan flushed. "Well, no, probably not." He dug into his food, not wanting to think about how and where his master had acquired the experience he had demonstrated that morning.
A voice from the corner of the table. "You know Kenobi, I stopped by your classroom after class, just to see how it went. Did you know that the shades were all pulled and the door was locked?"
There was no way he could answer that. So he kept his mouth full of food, shoveling it in at an alarming rate.
Bant nudged him. "What's tomorrow's class?"
He swallowed, took a drink of water. "Oral Stimulation, Level Two."
"Planning on preparing tonight?"
Before he could answer he felt his master's eyes upon him. He looked up. Are you, Padawan?
"I, uhh, don't know."
Qui Gon paused as he walked past the table, gently squeezed his Padawan's shoulder, before moving on.
Obi Wan did not turn to watch him walk away.
"Your Master is something else, Kenobi."
Obi Wan nodded. That he was.