Pairing: H/Lu
Rating: Um, probably PG-13. The guys were too cold
to make out.
Series: Third in the untitled SW slut-puppy series, sequel to
"Brief Encounter" and "With Feeling".
Spoilers: Set during the first part of "Empire", on Hoth.
This is setting a pattern for the series - two stories per
movie, might just end up at six. Or it might not. :)
Summary: Luke goes missing during a routine patrol on
Hoth, and Han goes after him. [And they're just
*friends*, George. Right.]
Warnings: I don't use betas. :( Any mistakes are solely
my fault and the fault of my *#^&@ spellcheck.
Han's right - there's nothing here but snow. Perimeter checks every three hours and we still haven't picked up anything. The Empire fleet would have to be crazy to come out here - as crazy as we are, anyway. Wait a minute - Luke shifted the binos over his eyes, in the direction of the streak of light that had just hit the planet several hundred yards in front of him. What is that? "Echo Three to Echo Seven. Han, old buddy, do you read me?"
"Loud and clear, kid. What's up?"
"Well, I finished my circle. I don't pick up any life readings."
"There isn't enough life on this ice-cube to fill a space cruiser." Luke smiled at Han's good-natured grumbling. Some things never changed. "Sensors are placed. I'm going back."
"Right, I'll see you shortly. There's a meteorite that hit the ground near here, I want to check it out. It won't take long." And then back to base, back to something warm, back to bed - Luke lost himself in the remembrance of waking up this morning with Han on top of him, snoring, his body blanketing Luke with warmth. His head turned quickly when his taun-taun started. "What's the matter, girl? You smell something?"
There was a flash of claws. And then, suddenly, the world was very, very black. . .
Han shook his head, looking at the number of pieces the Millennium Falcon was in, now, thanks to Chewie's last- minute 'tinkering'. Luke'll be back soon. Got to talk to him before we get the 'Falcon out of here - maybe, just maybe I can talk him into coming with us. Couple of days to smooth things over with Jabba, and then -
- and then back here, into the welcoming arms of the Rebellion. No shortage of ice cubes in this place, and not a drop of anything to put on them. And what else is there, Solo? What are you giving up? Wine, women, song, adventure - and don't you get enough adventure here riding these overgrown gophers around this frozen hell, checking for probes that are never there? I must be out of my mind. I could leave, I could -
Leave him. He'll never come with me. Not now. Not yet. Not until this damn thing is over. Not as long as she needs him.
He denies it - he tries to - but she has a hold on him, and I don't think that even I can break it. Even though I'm the one in his bed at night, even though he calls out my name when he comes inside me, even though he says - he says the things that he says, even still, it isn't enough. The Rebellion. He needs it. And he needs her.
So what am I staying for? What's one man against the whole galaxy? I must be getting soft in the head - staying here for a kid...
Han barely noticed as Threepio came up to him, breaking into his 'conversation' with Chewie. "Excuse me, sir - might I have a word with you, please?"
Great. "What do you want?"
"Well, it's Princess Leia, sir. She's been trying to get you on the communicator."
"I turned it off. I don't want to talk to her." He flashed back briefly to the meeting they'd had - more like a shouting match - in the corridor just before he got to the 'Falcon. There was something about that girl - something that made him absolutely nuts every time he saw her. Unfortunately, no matter how much he wanted to stop himself, he could never resist baiting her, just a little. Or, a lot.
"Oh, well - Princess Leia is wondering about Master Luke. He hasn't come back yet. She doesn't know where he is."
"I don't know where he is."
"Nobody knows where he is."
Whoa. What? "What do you mean nobody knows?"
"Well, uh, you see - "
He's got to be somewhere on the base - "Tech Officer. Tech Officer!"
"Excuse me, sir, might I - " Threepio stopped talking only when Han put his hand over the droid's 'mouth'.
"Yes sir?"
"You know where Commander Skywalker is?"
"I haven't seen him. It's possible that he came in through the south entrance."
"It's 'possible'? Why don't you go find out? It's getting dark out there."
"Yes, sir."
Han strode over to the checkpoint, ignoring the droids behind him. The Tech Officer approached. "Sir, Commander Skywalker hasn't come in the South Entrance. He might have forgotten to check in."
"Not likely. Are the speeders ready?"
"Uh, not yet. We're having some trouble adapting them to the cold."
Of course you are. The only thing that can live in this hellhole is ice and wampas. "We'll have to go out on taun-tauns."
"Sir, the temperature is dropping too rapidly."
Han turned on him. "That's right, and my friend's out in it." I'll be damned if I'm leaving him out there alone. He swung up on the taun-taun.
The officer called out a final warning. "Your taun-taun will freeze before you hit the first marker."
"Then I'll see you in hell!"
I must be alive. If I was dead, everything wouldn't hurt like this. Luke looked around, craning his neck. The wampa had brought him back to his cave, and attached him - upside-down, of course - to the icy ceiling.
He spied his lightsaber in the snow not two feet away, and stretched out his hand, almost dislocating his shoulder with the effort to reach for it. I have to get out of here. I have to. I can't die here, I feel it. There's something more for me. I have to reach it, if I can just get to my lightsaber -
Ben, help me.
He closed his eyes, letting the Force flow into him, and then out again. He reached his hand out, not nearly as far as before, concentrating on the 'saber. Focus. Focus. The lightsaber. Don't stretch, you can't reach it. Bring it to you.
Traitorous thoughts threw him off-balance. Han, where are you? I hope you got back all right. I hope you didn't come after me. How long have I been here? It's still light out, but that doesn't mean anything.
Reach, come on. Focus. Yes, there - that's
It -
He heard the roar even as he hit the icy floor of the cave.
- wampa -
He lashed out with the 'saber, making a sickening connection with the wampa's limb, severing it. He didn't waste any more time, heading for the mouth of the snow-cave before he could find out whether the beast would follow him, even wounded. He flew on adrenaline, out into the frozen hell that was Hoth.
- run! -
Han...
Han pushed the taun-taun further into the snow. Another few minutes of this, and I'll be carrying you. He shielded his eyes and tried to see through the masses of swirling snow. Once or twice he thought he caught sight of something, but it was either lost in the snow or it was snow.
Luke, where the hell are you? I can't see anything out here but snow. And more snow. They couldn't have set up their base on a desert planet. Something with civilization, bars, recreation. No, they had to pick an ice cube out in the middle of nothing.
The taun-taun shied, but he pressed on. Luke, dammit. Where are you? Don't you dare give up on me. I'm coming. Just hold on. I'm coming.
Luke fell into the snow, exhausted, half-frozen, too cold to even shiver. His breath felt like fire in his frozen lungs. I've gotta rest, just for a moment. Just for a moment, until I catch my breath. Just a minute, a little sleep.
He shook his head and tried to stand, then fell back. I can't do it, Han, I can't. I can't move anymore. I can't see anything out here - not even you. It's too cold. I feel like my brain is freezing in my head.
It's just so cold, and I'm so tired. You have to forgive me, Han. I just can't, not even for you. I want to, but I can't. He reached out with one hand, and then was still.
Damn these sensors! What the hell good is all of this equipment if I can't find one man on a frozen planet? 'Falcon isn't much more than baling wire and hope sometimes, but it works, dammit. Luke, where the hell are you? If I don't find you soon, we're both goners.
The officer approached the completely still Princess apprehensively, bowing his head slightly in respect. "Your Highness, there's nothing more that we can do tonight. The shield doors must be closed."
Her eyes showed absolutely nothing. I know what he's asking. He needs my permission to send them to their deaths. My permission, my word, again - just like Alderaan. But what can I do? Lose two, or risk losing two hundred. There's no other way. Leia nodded her head.
"Close the doors."
"Yes, sir."
Threepio chirped up, 'helpfully'. "Artoo says the chances for survival are 725 to 1."
Listen to them, grinding closed. It's like - closing a door on a life. Or, should I say, on two of them.
They all listened, silently, and then, when the final clang came and the doors were shut, Chewbacca let out a wail that echoed around the frozen chamber.
I know how you feel, Chewie. I'd scream, too, if I thought that I could open my mouth without collapsing completely. I can't, or I would, believe me.
At least - let them be together.
The drips of melted snow falling down Luke's face were slowing, as his body temperature dropped. Can't see anything, just snow. Can't feel anything - fingers, toes, feet. They may as well have dropped off. I'm starting to get warm, now - that can't be good. Han -
"Luke. Luke!"
Who - ? "Ben?" Am I dead?
"You will go to the Dagobah System."
"Dagobah System?"
"There you will learn from Yoda, the Jedi Master who instructed me."
"Ben, Ben!" Don't leave me. Help me - bring Han to me. Help me... He dropped his face back into the welcoming cushion of snow.
Yes! Han jumped down from the taun-taun and rushed to where his friend lay half-frozen in the snow. He'd seen Luke reaching up towards him, but now - he was still. Too still. "Luke! Luke! Don't do this, Luke. Come on, give me a sign, here." Breathe, dammit. Don't do this to me. Not after all that we've been through. I'm not letting you go, not yet. I promise, I promise I will give you up, when I have to - but not yet.
The taun-taun fell behind him, dead, into the snow. The wind was picking up even more, and soon it would be dark, and there would be nothing but the roaring wind and the never-ending snow and the two of them alone out there, just waiting to freeze to death.
I'll be damned if I'm giving up without a fight, Luke. Not now that I've found you. He grabbed Luke's hands and dragged him over beside the taun-taun. "Not much time."
Luke mumbled, almost incoherently. "Ben, Ben."
Oh, you're alive. You're alive. Keep breathing, kid - we can freeze to death together, at least. Han grabbed the lightsaber from where it hung on Luke's belt. Don't need to be a Jedi Knight to use this, I hope. It powered to life. "Hang on, kid."
"Dagobah system, Dagobah."
"This may smell bad, kid, but it will keep you warm, until I can get the shelter built." He pulled Luke into the belly of the taun-taun, the warm, viscous innards providing shelter from the wind. Disgusting shelter, but shelter, nevertheless. He winced as the smell of the animal hit his nostrils. "Agh, I thought they smelled bad on the outside."
Once Luke was safely tucked inside, Han sagged over, exhausted. Gotta move, Solo. One foot in front of the other. Gotta get this shelter built, or it's all over. Not that I'd mind dying - hell, the life I've lived I should be gone a dozen times already. But the kid deserves a second chance. Not nearly old enough to buy it, not yet. Not here. Not yet. He willed himself forward, one step at a time.
Luke didn't open his eyes again until Han had been rubbing his bare hands for ten minutes, inside the enviro-tent. "Han?"
It was the most beautiful thing that Han had ever heard, and the smile nearly split his face. "Kid - geez, don't do that to me, okay?"
Luke's voice cracked. "S-sorry," he shivered.
Han leaned over him, kissing his split lip gently, breathing warmth into his mouth and over his face. "Don't apologize for anything, kid."
"Where are we?" Luke said, his eyes half-shut.
"Mos Eisley. Didn't you recognize the ambiance?"
Luke snorted, and then coughed.
"Easy, there, kid," Han said.
"Hurts to laugh," Luke winced. "You feel good."
"You can feel me? That's a good sign. You're colder than hell, Luke. You were really scaring me."
"Y-you? Scared?"
Han grinned. "Hard to believe, I know. I was just thinking of what Her Worship would say if I brought back a frozen hero instead of a living Rebel, that's all."
"Right." Luke was suddenly wracked with shivers, as some feeling began to come back to his extremities.
"Okay, that's it. We've got to warm you up." Han started to pull the fasteners on Luke's quilted jumpsuit open.
"I'm a little too c-c-cold to c-c-cop a feel, Han."
Han grimaced at him. "Yeah, and your penis has probably crawled up back inside your body by now, looking for a little warmth. Body heat, kid. Skin-to-skin contact. Don't you know anything about surviving on this ice cube?"
"Didn't get very cold on - on - " Luke's eyes started to close.
"Come on, kid. Keep talking. No sleeping, not for you, not while you're this cold and I'm this tired. I don't want to wake up in the morning with a pair of wings sprouting on my back."
Luke's eyes fluttered open. "Wings? You? M-more like horns."
"Flattery will get you everywhere, kid." Han unzipped his own thick suit and hooked the fasteners on the two suits together, forming a makeshift sleeping bag. It was awkward in spots, but they could both fit - just barely. "Come on, you have to help."
Luke wriggled into the suit, trying to make himself small as Han followed him, fastening together the suit. He saw and felt the shiver that ran through Han's body as he came in contact with the skin of the much-colder blond, even as ripples of fire crawled over his skin where he touched Han.
Soon, they were touching everywhere. Luke wrapped his arms around Han's back, revelling in his warmth, and pulled the older man over on top of him. "I was just thinking about this," he said, quietly, his eyes closed.
"About what?" Han's voice was a whisper against his ear. They were completely tucked together.
"Waking up with you this morning. I was going to suggest an early night tonight when I got back to base."
Han was silent, and Luke opened his eyes with effort. "What?"
"Nothing, kid."
That tone - half nonchalant, half dismissive - made Luke's brow furrow. "What?"
"I was readying the 'Falcon to leave when we got the message that you were still out here."
Luke would have pulled back, but there was nowhere to go, trapped together like they were in the suit. He could barely move his arms, couldn't move his legs at all, and his head would only go a couple of inches in any direction. He moved it so he could see Han's eyes. "You were going to leave without telling me?"
"No. Not without telling you." Han looked away. "Might have been better if I did, though."
"Why?" Han was silent. "I think I deserve to know."
"Look, kid - there are things about me that you don't know, okay? I have some things to take care of - "
"More important than the Rebellion?"
Han exploded with anger. "I'm getting sick of this damn Rebellion!" He felt the aftershock of his words as a tremor that ran through Luke's body, and was immediately contrite. This is insane. Look at him. He almost dies - we both could still die - and we're arguing. "Look, I'm sorry - "
Luke shook his head, the hurt plain in his eyes. "No. You've never pretended that this was your fight, so why should you start now? Not because of me, that's for sure."
They were still clinging tightly together, but they both lapsed into silence, lost in thought.
Don't you know I do everything because of you, kid, from getting up in the morning to going to bed at night? You ask me one thing - you even look like you're going to ask me something, and I'm there. I'll always be there, always.
Leave. He was going to leave. He's still going to leave. But he didn't - he didn't leave because he needed to save me, again. Dammit! Why couldn't you have just gone, Han? You think it will be easier for me to let you go, now?
Luke wanted to run, wanted to be anywhere else but in a tiny tent on a frozen wasteland. There was no where physically to run, so he burrowed his way even closer to Han, and closed his eyes, willing sleep to come, or death, anything that would take him mentally away. . .
"Luke?" Han's lips were less than an inch from Luke's ear, but the young man made no response. "Luke?"
He was breathing - Han could feel his chest moving - but he wouldn't acknowledge anything, and wouldn't wake up.
Han spent the rest of the night listening to Luke breathe.
The Rebel pilot sent out the message, over and over, travelling as close to the ground as he could, scanning the horizon for any signs of life or shelter. Again and again, there was no answering call except that of his fellow team-members, checking in.
How could anyone survive out here? Frozen wasteland, that's all this is - nothing but snow and ice, no people, no life - "Commander Skywalker, do you copy? This is Rogue Two."
The radio crackled into life, the familiar sardonic tone of Captain Solo crystal clear. "Good morning, nice of you guys to drop by."
Warm. I'm warm.
Luke's eyes flew open, and the first thing that he saw was Han, pacing back and forth in front of the saline tank he was suspended in. Han.
You're here.
You didn't leave.
Han.
Luke listened to Threepio and Artoo chatter away, not paying attention. There was only one person he waned to see - and not here, either, not in this damned hospital bed.
The doors slid open. Han.
"How are you feeling, kid? You don't look so bad to me."
Chewie roared his approval.
"You look strong enough to pull the ears off a gundar."
"Thanks to you."
The pilot grinned at him, holding his fingers up. "That's two you owe me, junior."
Luke's heart sang at the light-hearted tone of the pilot's voice, at the easy friendship and good-natured teasing that he offered. He didn't leave. He wanted to launch himself out of the bed, or pull Han in with him, but he didn't dare, not here, not in front of everyone. He wasn't interested in giving anyone a show.
Han turned to Leia, starting in on their war of words again. Luke wondered if the two of them would ever be able to share the space in a room together without driving each other completely crazy. There were too many people in the room, and all he wanted to do was thank Han, properly.
The kiss from Leia came as a surprise, but he decided to milk it a little, leaning back on his folded arms, grinning at the shocked face of his lover. The smile faded from his face when Han followed Leia out the door.
"Take it easy."
No, wait, don't - go. Not before I get to say - Luke rested against his bed. Dammit. Doubting thoughts immediately came to mind. Was I wrong? Was he just - showing off, in front of everyone? Didn't want them to know that we had a fight, because we're 'just friends'? Didn't he know that I wanted him to stay?
He turned against the pillow, his back to the door. How could he know? The last thing I said to him was said in anger. What did I do that for? He said he wasn't going to leave without telling me. He doesn't owe me anything - nothing - and I owe him my life, twice.
And now I might not even get to tell him that I'm sorry. He stared at the wall until his vision started to blur, and then closed his eyes, falling into the deep and dreamless sleep of the Jedi once again.
Han tiptoed around the bed. "Kid?"
Luke was asleep - just like the night before, his eyes not moving under the lids, no sign of life at all except for the slight, even movement of his chest as the breath drew in and was pushed out of his lungs.
Han closed his eyes. "Right. Sleep, Luke. There's time for this, tomorrow."
He sat in the chair by the bed, listening to Luke breathe.