What Have I Done?
by Patt Paulos-Darrow
I need to run, I need to hide.
Or Jim will be right here by my side.
And he will notice the big change in me.
Oh God, what was I thinking, wait till he sees.
He is going to throw such a shit fit, it will not even be funny.
And I will probably wonder if ever a day again will be sunny.
Man, he is going to be so damn pissed.
Maybe I can control him with one giant kiss.
Oh who am I kidding, who will buy that one?
I better go to Major Crimes, go there on the run.
Yup, that's what I shall do, Joel will protect me, I know.
He would never let Jim get me, they would come to blows.
And I know that everyone else will stick up for me too.
Now I just need to form a plan, see what I should do.
Well, as I get off the elevator, Rafe drops his mouth and smiles.
He said, okay, Hairboy, it had better grow back in a very short while.
Jim will be pissed and I don't blame him a bit.
Now I am looking at Rafe and thinking, you are a shit.
Next is Brown and as he laughs what does he say?
He pretends to cry because there won't be a Hairboy today.
He then tells me that Jim will kick my sweet ass.
Man, I can't believe that Brown could be that crass.
Joel walked on in and just gave me look of pure pity.
I asked him what is the problem, its not like I look shitty?
He says, no, you sure don't, you look down right fine.
But to someone else, his opinion might not be the same as mine.
Megan walked through the door and a smile on her face did show.
Oh my word, Blair, tell me one thing, does Jim know?
What is going on, what is happening to the help I thought I would get?
This is the worst case of helping your friend that I have seen yet.
Geez, now I am in a state of panic, I don't know what to feel.
I mean I know Jim won't hit me, I know that much is real.
He is too big of teddy bear, a sweetheart, too in love with his Chief.
Well, maybe I could remind him of this when he is sitting there in his grief.
I walked into Simon's office and watched him almost swallow his cigar.
Oh this has to be the best look on his face that I have seen thus far.
Kid, what the fuck where you thinking, did you loose your mind?
Leave it to Simon, to be so very kind.
Out I go to the bullpen, to await my demise.
The look on everyone faces, shows they won't be surprised.
For God's sake, man, get a fucking grip.
A hair cut should not give you such a trip.
Oh man, here comes Jim, walking through the door.
I just want to go ahead now and lie on the floor.
He hears my heart speeding up and turns to look why.
He looks me in the eye as I feel like I am going to cry.
He smiles then, and I have to say I am indeed in shock.
He walks over and whispers, I need you to suck my cock.
I look at him with fear on my face.
I mean, here in Major crimes, never, would be a disgrace?
He looks at me again and says, not here you nut job you.
We have to go to the closet of choice, out of the blue.
I am still wondering what the hell is going on with him.
This calm person can't possibly be my hot head Jim.
We get into the closet and he tells me to get this show on the road.
As I unzip his jeans and start to take out part of his load.
I am smiling at him and he is smiling back.
Twilight Zone, welcome me to your very own track.
I take his cock in my mouth and suck with glee.
He hands me his jacket to put under my knees.
As I am sucking and chewing, he is moaning real soft.
And as always his hands in my hair, just like at the loft.
He is moving them around and seems to be getting hot.
And all of a sudden he yells my name, and comes on the spot.
I zipped him up after I licked him clean.
I asked him what was going on, what can this mean?
He said he knew I was scared over something as simple as hair.
And wanted to see how it was to be blown by a shorthaired Blair.
He smiled at me and said it was even better than great.
And then he kissed me hard and said, no matter what, you are my date.
Doesn't matter to me, if you have short hair or long.
As long as you let me still taste that wonderful dong.
So don't worry about that, don't worry about this.
When you are in love with someone, you just can't miss.
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