April 2, 2000
Dear J:
I'm in the kitchen off and on fixing a fantastic meal for dinner. Jim will be very surprised. He thinks I was at the academy all day long, but I got out early. This is so cool. Here is the menu:
Shredded-Cabbage Soup, this is a Russian recipe, and it will knock his white socks right off. Haha. It has onions, bacon, beef broth, cabbage, carrots, potatoes, celery, tomatoes, salt, ground pepper, and dill weed. When it all finished, you top it with sour cream, it is great, I think he might like it. I wanted something new to start the night off. Something he has never had before. Hope he likes it.
Next up, is the Russian Salmon Loaf. Yes, I found a bunch of Russian recipes and I'm going to go nuts now. :) It is a mixture of rice cooked in broth, mushrooms, dill and salmon, wrapped in a light, golden pastry. The picture looked great, so what the hell? Stuffed Artichokes are going to go great with this and just in case, I made up a side of Asparagus with Gruyere. For the salad, I made a cucumber salad. It is great, lots of Italian dressing. Very spicy and just the right amount of kick. I made homemade Croissants. Do you believe it? They are harder than I thought they would be. :) So for dessert, I decided to stick with Russian, and I made Kissel. Which is an apricot pudding. Okay, J, what do you think? Onward and upward? :) Wish us luck. I will finish this tonight after dinner. Hopefully I will have some things to share.
*~*~*
J, I'm back. Dinner was all right. Jim was moody during the entire thing and not very talkative. I started asking him some of those questions that were bothering me and he gave me these looks like I was insane. But he at least answered me. He said he trusts me more than anyone in the world, ( I'd been holding my breath while waiting for this answer) and as for being his partner, he said he can't imagine anyone else being said partner. He seems happy that I'm doing fine at the academy and can't wait for me to get back to the bullpen. I told him that I'd been thinking a lot about us lately and he just looked at me with a touch of panic. I realized right then and there, he might have feelings for me and doesn't have a journal to talk with. :)
You're not going to believe this, but I asked him how he felt about me, truly. He just sat there and said that he had to go for a walk. I just sat with my mouth hanging open. I mean, what do you say to that dumb response. What a jerk. He can be so dense sometimes. I looked at him and said, you walk out that door big guy and I will have to hunt you down. He smiled and looked at me and seemed to realize that I might understand more than he thought. :) He said, Blair, I haven't been with a guy for a number of years, it doesn't work well in this line of work, but I want to be with you. Hot damn, he said it. Do you believe it? He said it, just like that. I of course acted all cool as I jumped up and flew into his lap. :) I'm such a slut. I told him that I wanted the very same thing and so glad we decided to talk. :) He asked me if we could take this slow so that we didn't screw anything up. Well, hey, you know what I said to that don't you? But Jim, I want us to be screwed up. And down. I love when he glares at me. Turns me on big time. But I ended up promising that I would try to take it slow. (Damn it anyhow).
Off to my work.
I want to fuck him yes I do.
I want to suck him till he turns blue.
I want to feel his every part.
I want to love him with all my heart.
I want him to fuck me, oh what fun.
I want him to be exhausted when he is done.
I want him now, not later, damn it all.
I want to rub him, and touch his balls.
I want to touch him everywhere.
I want him to know that I really do care.
I want him inside me, very deep.
I want to watch him as he sleeps.
I want to be inside him as he is me.
So my wants will be on order, this I see.
Wow, it is amazing how well versed I am, J, eh? I am such a poet. But thankfully this is just between you and me. Well, maybe someday I will show it to Jim. Thanks for listening.
BS