Unwinding
"I live like I feel:
I'm hoping to fall into grace"
1. PLAYING THE GAME, or WE ARE FAMILY
"No, nothing makes sense,
"A heart that's full up like a landfill,
Mulder looked out on a beautiful, sunny California day at the
beach from the expansive deck of a sprawling seaside estate.
Troubled, he saw none of it. "I want to hear you justify it. You
tortured, infected, then mutilated that kid. Explain it to me."
Alex Krycek, standing so close Mulder could feel him breathe, put
his arm around the older man's shoulders. "I had good reasons,
important reasons. I just can't tell you yet, Mulder."
Mulder knew he should shrug the arm off. He didn't. "At least
you didn't tell me to trust you."
"What's the use in that? Do you know that Dark Angel tried to kill
me?"
"And you're still alive? I'm surprised."
Alex actually looked a little disappointed. "If I were her, I'd want
to kill me too, but I thought I could at least get a rise out of you on
it. It's always fun watching you work yourself up."
"I really don't feel up to it."
Alex actually looked a little worried. "No?"
Mulder looked down at the bandage on his left forearm. "No."
"What is bothering you? It's bad enough that you've given up
on the whole 'you're a psycho killer, come here, let me kiss you'
routine. I miss it."
"I don't think you would understand."
"Would I?" Brian asked. Mulder turned his head to see his
favorite clone standing near the sliding door, watching him with a
worried expression. The bandage on Brian's left arm glowed
white in the sunlight, especially in contrast to the black and blues
of his outfit. He had a sticker on his T-shirt that said Hi! My name
is Brian. All the Kitsunes, Mulder included, wore the
identifying stickers as a joke. They all wore the bandages out of
necessity.
Krycek nuzzled Mulder's neck before pulling away to leave. On
his way back into the house, he grabbed Brian by the collar and
kissed him deeply. Brian stiffened for a moment before relaxing
and letting it happen, not even protesting as Krycek slipped him
tongue. He was breathing hard when the triple agent, casting one
final look back at Mulder, let him go and went inside.
"What was that all about?" Brian asked as he took Krycek's place
at Mulder's side.
"I really don't know. I think he was trying to get a reaction from
me. Anger me out of my depression, maybe. I'm surprised you
didn't clock him."
"We all seem to have a truce going for now. Or maybe we're just
too tired and worn out to care. Besides, I liked it."
"Do you know that I've reached the point where even I think my
angst is pathetic?"
"It's not that bad. I think realizing that your angst is pathetic is the
first step to recovery." Brian glanced at Mulder's bandage. "This
is what's really bothering you. It's blue ink, and not very deep, so
two more laser treatments in the next two months will obliterate
it."
"You're deliberately stepping around the real reason why the tattoo
bothers me."
"But you won't let me. Damn. So, you're not the first Kitsune.
So what? Are you saying that for every set of identical twins, one
is a real human being and one isn't? You're saying I'm not human,
and Jake isn't, and Eugene and Doug and..."
"I thought you were all cloned off of me!"
"That's the real problem. Your pride, Kitsune2."
"What?"
"You're a bright boy, you figure it out." But Brian pulled him in
for a hug. "Will you agree to try to enjoy yourself at the party?
Sera is going to a lot of trouble. I mean, just getting this palatial
residence for us to play in..."
"Where is she, anyway?"
"She's been gone for half a day, and you just noticed? North
Dakota. V brought some information for Angel with her when she
arrived. Sera will be back soon. In the meantime, Jake's trying to
drum up a Kitsune basketball game. It should be fun, or at the very
least, surreal. You're a psychologist; you know you'll kick
yourself if you miss seeing this." Brian kissed the top of Mulder's
head. "Try to have a good time, if not for yourself, than for me. It
makes me unhappy to see you so miserable."
"Here comes the guilt trip," Mulder said, but smiled a little.
"There you go! If you can't be happy, fake it!" Brian pulled
Mulder along with him toward the basketball court. "I'm going to
show you a good time if it kills me."
"Brian, do you know what happened to Kitsune1? I mean, with all
of Angel's sources..."
Brian shook his head. "We still don't know."
"Are you sure you'll be okay here?" Eugene asked Scott S.
Scott sat on the bleachers and let the sunlight wash over his body.
He was still weak and looked hollow-eyed from his recent bout
with heroin withdrawal. "Go and play. All this mothering started
out cute and sweet, but it's starting to become a little creepy."
Then panic flashed in his eyes. "I'm joking, Eugene, really. I like
it, nobody has ever really been this kind to me before, and I
appreciate everything you've done for me—" Stella put her head on
Scott's lap and thumped her tail. He stroked her fur, but it failed to
calm him.
Eugene ruffled Scott's hair. "I know. I'm not going anywhere,
Scott. I'm glad you're feeling well enough to joke around."
Scott gave him a tremulous smile.
"Hey, Eugene, you going to play, or stare at Scottz all day?" Brad
yelled. Faced with two Scotts in their group, the Kitsunes had
decided to call Scott S "Scottz" and Scott E "Scotty."
"Oh, fuck off, Brad," Eugene yelled back.
"Already you guys sound like a real family," V said as she set the
drink cooler down on the edge of the court. Goth like Serafine, the
only color in her black outfit came from the words written in white
on her T-shirt: Yes, I dress like this just to annoy you. V asked, "Is
the one-armed man in the kitchen Krycek? He's a babe."
"Yes, actually," Douglas said.
"Suddenly a lot of things make more sense." When she saw Brian
walking over with Mulder, she said, "Damn, I feel like a midget
among you folks. Why are you all so tall?"
"For most of us, it's genetic engineering," Brian answered with a
smile.
"Good answer. Try this question: why is it that everyone I know
sends me out on liquor runs when I can't drink?"
"Your winning personality?"
"Not so good answer. How about this one: with my friends,
militia, and monster killers in the house, do you really want to give
people the opportunity to get liquored up?"
"Can we get the game started?" Peter asked. It still shocked
Mulder to hear his own monotone accompanied by a thick
Southern accent from Peter and Luke. They sounded like the stoic
gunfighters you saw in Westerns.
"We need a bystander to divide us into teams. Could you do the
honors, Douglas?"
The Englishman looked a little nervous at being singled out. "I
don't know anything about basketball. I've always been more of a
rugby and football fan."
"That's all right. I just need you to divide us into two even
groups."
"There are nine of you wanting to play."
"We'll think of something."
"Maybe Michelle could play for one side," Serafine said. Brian
swept her up in a hug before he even noticed the woman standing
next to her. "This is Michelle Maltin—" The young woman shook
her head sadly. "I mean, Michelle Czerkasij. She's another
surviving Imoto. Our sister."
"Uh, hi." Michelle looked a little overwhelmed at the sight of ten
identical men—all wearing similar clothing because they had to
borrow most of it from Brian—and a few other assorted strangers
looking back at her. Except for a slightly different nose and eyes
that were amber rimmed with green instead of green-gold like
Sera's, she could have been Dark Angel's twin. "I don't really
play sports though."
"You'll be good at it, trust me," Angel said.
"Whatever team I end up on, you could come over with me," Brian
said. He mouthed the words, "Is she Elizabeth?" to Sera. Sera
shook her head sadly, but Brian didn't lessen his friendliness to
Michelle at all. "Don't worry if you don't get us all straight
immediately. That's what the name stickers are for."
"Thanks."
Mulder looked at Angel too. She said softly, "No, Mulder. As far
as I know, she's not Samantha either."
Douglas divided them into two teams: one with Brian, Michelle,
Jake, Eugene, and Doug and the other with Brad, Luke, Scotty,
Mulder, and Peter.
"Are you doing this shirts vs. skins?" Krycek asked as he sat on the
bleachers. He gave Angel a dark look.
She returned his stare with a look of sunny serenity before
shouting, "Woo-hoo!"
"Hey!" Brian yelled.
"Oh, don't worry, honey bunches of oats," she said. "I'm just
drooling at the thought because they all look like you, dearest."
"Is she patronizing me?" Brian asked.
"I'd say, yes," Doug answered with a grin.
V brought a bag of white wristbands over. "Yes, I do think of
everything." In deference to Brian's problem with having anything
against his scarred wrists, the other team became the white team.
One of the oddest games of basketball ever played then
commenced. The Kitsunes kept anticipating each other's moves.
When they tried to improvise, the others anticipated the
improvisation. Only Michelle's truly surprised anyone. Once she
relaxed, she started to show a speed and grace similar to Sera's.
Brian played with a finesse and ease that startled the others.
He shrugged and explained, "I got in shape on the 'people trying to
kill you' plan. It guarantees you'll be fit in a month, or you're
already dead."
Before long, the white team also realized that they'd been had.
Brian, Jake, and Eugene played like a well-oiled team, passing the
ball to one another with great ease and obviously using strategies.
"This is unfair," Peter said after calling a time out. "No wonder
you didn't feel the need to take a handicap for having an admitted
novice play on your team."
"Douglas didn't know we'd played together before," Brian said,
but showed no intention of changing the teams.
"You realize that we now have to kick your asses in retaliation,"
Scotty said.
"You can certainly try, Professor."
As the game continued, V said, "This is what I've been missing in
my life: a bunch of attractive men running around like lunatics for
my viewing enjoyment. Spring water, Scott?"
He shot her a surprised look. "Uh, yeah." When he accepted the
bottle from her hand, he asked suddenly, "Why is everyone being
so nice to me?"
"Why not?"
"I— I don't have anything I could give you in return, not even...
not even the usual..."
"Do you think Eugene expects anything in return for helping you,
Scott?" Douglas asked.
"Doesn't everybody? Why else would he waste time on me? I
mean, look at all of them, they're doctors, lawyers, cops,
architects. I'm an aging, junkie rentboy."
"Eugene was a junkie," V said.
"He became one trying to do his job better, trying to keep up with
a doctor's impossible hours. I became one because I'm getting too
old for my life, and I didn't want to lose my current— Just forget
about it, okay?"
"So, what are you going to do after this?" V asked. "Go back
home to the man who hooked you on heroin, return to your rut?"
"That's funny."
"I didn't mean the pun. Look, you seem to have lucked into a big
family here, and at least some of them seem to care about you.
Take advantage."
Scott S just shook his head. "Eugene wants me to go home with
him, but I'm afraid— afraid that I'll drag him down."
Krycek sat next to Angel. "You've wanted me dead a number of
times. What finally pushed you over? Did it have anything to do
with me fucking your boyfriend?"
"You're all class, Alexei," she snarled, right before yelling, "Great
shot, Michelle!" Sera turned to him and said, "That's not it.
Selling out Douglas and the whole Kitsune line, including a man
you sometimes claim to care about, had more to do with it.
Besides, I had sex with you once, and it meant nothing."
"For us, it was just sex, but for the Kitsune line... They form
attachments, and you know it. It must be eating you alive to think
of Brian having any emotional connection to me."
"Once we got out of the compound, I told Brian what I tried to do."
She smiled at the look of shock on his face. "We tell each other
almost everything. For instance, he admitted to his bout with you.
I bet you went for him when he was vulnerable."
"It was completely consensual."
"I'm sure having Mulder there egging him on had nothing to do
with it either. Anyway, he had no problems with me thinking of
killing you. He thinks you're bad for Mulder and bad for him."
She moved closer. "Is Mulder just sex to you? I don't expect an
honest answer from you, really, but I'd love to know. I've felt a
responsibility for him for a long time, since 1989, if you can
believe it. I wonder how it feels to be you when you fucked all
four of the Kitsune controls, to see that same face over and over
but only similar minds. Do you ever call out the wrong name at a
sensitive moment?"
"You bitch—"
"Mulder, look out!" someone yelled from the court.
Sera and Krycek turned just in time to watch Mulder get hit on the
head with the ball because he'd been watching them. The game
stopped as the Kitsunes clustered around him. They pulled back as
Brian said, "Don't worry, it just hit his head."
"Thanks, Brian."
"Don't mention it, Mulder."
"Everything's fine here," Serafine yelled to Mulder. He shook his
head and went back to the game. She turned back to Krycek and
whispered, "If you keep dragging Mulder and Brian into trouble
you manufacture, I will hunt you down and kill you."
"We all do what we have to," he said, before leaving to go back to
the house.
When Sera looked back at the game in progress, she saw Mulder
watching Krycek go. The agent had his classic blank face on. She
sighed.
Powered by rage, Dana Scully stalked the corridors of LAX. She
intended to slowly roast Mulder over an open flame for making her
worry like this. That message he left Skinner combined with the
two days he hadn't answered his cell phone had led her mind to a
thousand scenarios, each more horrible than the last. Having Dark
Angel call her to reveal Mulder's whereabouts was the last straw.
He better be too injured not to have called her himself.
When she reached the terminal, she saw a scruffy kid, maybe in his
late teens at the oldest, holding up a sign with her name on it. His
outfit looked like the Salvation Army had a collision with an
Army/Navy store. He had a silver cross along with a set of dog
tags around his neck. The daughter of an enlisted man, even if her
father had been Navy instead of Army, Scully hated to see civilians
wearing trappings they had no right to as a fashion statement. The
boy gave her an ingratiating smile, until her own stony expression
prompted him to go blank.
To her surprise, he was about an inch shorter than she was. "I'm
Pike. Mulder sent me to pick you up," he said. When he shook
her hand, she noticed that he had what appeared to be a symbol of
some kind burned into the skin of his wrist.
"He's all right now, but the last few days were a bit of a stress on
him. On all the Kitsunes, actually. Escaping from a secret UN
compound tends to knock you out. Let's get your bag."
He burbled on at her as he got her luggage and led her to a van,
giving Scully no time to get a word in. She suspected he had
rambled on just to make sure of that.
A group of women already sat in the back of the van. "What the
hell is going on here?" Scully asked.
"Sera's throwing a party. After the last few days, she thought
everyone needed to unwind. These are V's friends, who just flew
in."
"V's friends," whoever the hell they or V were, graced her with a
round of scattered hellos.
Feeling even more put off at being out of the loop, Scully asked,
"Are you old enough to drive, Pike?"
His eyes, formerly filled with an infectious warmth, suddenly
looked ancient. "I'm 24 years old, Dr. Scully." He pulled out of
the parking spot without another word.
2. MINGLING
"Those fortunate
Risk fate
To alleviate
A fear from within
Clawing to trust someone"
—"First Aid" by Skinny Puppy
At sunset, the van arrived at the sprawling house. From the noise,
the party had already started long before. An unfamiliar young
woman in black met them at the door, letting out waves of
pounding music, and immediately pulled the van's other occupants
toward the bar.
People packed the huge room. Scully asked Pike, "Where could I
find Mulder or Brian?"
"In this? Beats the hell out of me. I'm sure they're around
somewhere. Now I have to go meet some friends." Seeing the
crestfallen look on her face, he said, "Don't worry. No one will
bite unless you ask for it. Sorry, just a little monster killer humor.
Everyone here is really nice. I'm sure they'll point you in the right
direction." Then he left.
Scully saw a familiar haircut and made a path toward the man who
had it. "Brian—" she said, but then he turned around. "I'm sorry."
He was far too tanned to be Brian or Mulder, though he wore an
outfit very similar to the ones Brian did. Scully decided to use the
bandage he had on his left forearm as an instant identifier, easier to
see from a distance than his name sticker, which said: Hi! My
name is Doug. He grinned, and her heart stopped at how it
looked exactly like Mulder's and Brian's.
"No problem. I've been getting that all night. You must be Dana
Scully."
Despite all the evidence to contrary and meeting Brian and Jake,
Scully had still refused to use the word "clone." Seeing another
identical man forced her to re-evaluate her position. "How many
of... you are here?"
"Ten if you're counting Mulder."
"Have you seen him? Or Brian?"
"I can't be sure."
"Excuse me?"
"None of us had a change of clothes, so we're all wearing Brian's.
Even we're having trouble telling one another apart. It's ironic
that most of us, given a choice, dress like Brian anyway but—" At
the look on her face, he said, "Of course, we're doing this just to
annoy you."
"What?"
"Never mind. Ask around. Mingle. I'm sure you'll run into them
eventually."
"To be shameless is blameless if we be what we are"
—"Pleasures of the Flesh" by Killing Joke
"My hearty fraulein, what's the problem? You've been grabbing
beers and just staring at the crowd since you got here," V said.
"Just look at them!"
"You mean the clones? Sure, it's freaky at first, but—"
"That's not what I mean. Everyone here is gorgeous. Who am I
going to hit on first?"
V patted her friend's arm. "Your life is a tragedy, mein Te."
Edward Douglas sat on a couch, stared out at the crowd, and
mourned the death of the person he had been. In the not too distant
past, he could talk to anyone anywhere. It was what made him a
diplomat. His time spent drifting alone at sea near death, on
Moreau's island, and in that mental ward prison had changed him,
made him feel isolated from the rest of humanity. Utterly alone,
even among people like these, who slew actual monsters and
battled conspiracies. He didn't know what he could say to them, or
even who he was anymore.
Jake sat down next to him. "Hey, Douglas, this is a party. Go out
and enjoy yourself."
"I am enjoying myself."
"Is this an example of that famous English wit?"
"I'm sorry, Jake. I'm not feeling very sociable. You deserve
better."
Jake looked down. "I never got the chance to thank you in person
for saving my life a few months ago. You killed for me. I saw
how it cut you up inside later."
"I was saving my own life, too."
"I'm—" Jake stared at him intensely, then leaned forward and
kissed him. When he broke away, he said, "I'm sorry. I don't
know why I did that."
Douglas licked his lips and tried to figure out how he felt about
what had just happened. "So you just kiss everyone?"
"No! I just— I was looking into your eyes—which have to be the
bluest I've ever seen, by the way—and I... couldn't help myself."
Jake looked disgusted. "I'm rambling."
Douglas saw only one way that he could decide how he felt about
this. He pulled Jake close and kissed him. Jake instantly
responded, melting against him and running long fingers through
his hair. It all felt so good and pushed the loneliness away.
"Have you— have you ever done this before?" Jake gasped as they
broke apart for breath. He remained draped on top of Douglas,
though.
"Boarding school."
"So the stories about English boarding schools are true?"
Douglas laughed. "Which ones?"
Jake nibbled at Douglas's ear, making the Englishman buck
beneath him. "Hmm, sensitive spot. I have to remember that. I've
thought about this for months."
"My ear?" Douglas let his hand trail down Jake's spine vertebra by
vertebra, smiling at the moan he inspired when his fingers stroked
the small of his captor's back.
"Silly. No, not your ear. This." Jake's hand wandered down.
Douglas gasped. "So you did know what you were doing."
"Huh?"
"When you kissed me the first time."
Jake laughed. "I did, but I didn't mean to just jump in like that!"
"So you thought you'd talk to me, get me drunk..."
"Do I really need to do all that first now?" Jake stroked his body
down the length of Douglas's, fascinated by how hard the
Englishman was, all bone and long muscle right under the skin.
All bone. Jake knew he would hurt the next morning, but it didn't
matter much right now.
"We can't— can't do this here."
"I don't think anyone will notice us."
"That's the problem. Two different people tried to sit on me in the
last hour."
"That would be a problem. This place is so huge, it has to have at
least a few bedrooms. This is what you want?" Jake looked a
little worried.
Douglas kissed him again. "Do I look like I'm trying to get
away?"
Scully still hadn't found anyone she knew, and the people she did
see either looked odd, carried weapons in obvious places, or both.
The glass of wine she'd picked up hadn't done anything for her
nerves.
One of the couches held a dog and two more of Mulder's clones:
Hi! My name is Scott S and Hi! My name is Eugene.
Scully couldn't imagine the name "Eugene" going along with that
face and body. They both wore the jeans and T-shirt combo that
seemed to be regulation uniform for the clones tonight as well as a
bandage on their left forearms. Scully wondered about the
bandages they all wore.
Scott S was lying down with his head on Eugene's thigh, his eyes
half-closed as Eugene gently stroked his hair. They both looked
tranquilized, making her wonder if they were drugged, but they
showed none of the physiological signs. They were just very
happy. Watching them together like this made her feel like a
voyeur, guilty, but she couldn't look away.
When Eugene looked up at her, she said, "Hi, I'm looking for
Mulder or Brian," more to explain why she stood there staring at
them than anything else.
"I haven't seen Mulder in hours. I think I saw Brian thirty minutes
ago dancing with Michelle. Have you seen them, Scott?"
"No." Scott's voice sounded sleepy and blissful.
Mulder's voice behind her said, "I haven't seen Mulder either, but
I think Bri's near the stereo system," but it had a Southern accent.
Her mind already boggled by that combination, Scully turned to
face the speaker, Hi! My name is Luke. "Thanks," she said
softly.
"My pleasure, ma'am." He sounded exactly like a gunfighter out of
an old Western movie. He looked like Mulder with a deep tan.
"Good-bye." As Scully fought through the crowd to get to the
stereo across the room, she picked up another glass of wine and
downed it in one gulp.
"Now you're not satisfied
Mulder looked out into the crowd, but they seemed so distant from
him, as if they existed on a different plane of reality. He couldn't
stay here.
He put a jacket on, picked up a bottle of beer, and headed outside
to the beach.
He tried not to wonder where Krycek had disappeared to.
"All you want to win is already in your possession"
Angel took V aside. "There's something I have to talk to you
about."
"Sure. The little bro definitely did a great job on the mix tapes,
huh?"
"Yeah, I love his choices in music. V, are you aware that your
friends are getting Brad drunk and taking advantage of him? In
public, in front of the other guests?"
"Advantage advantage?"
"Yes." But Sera had problems keeping an entirely straight face.
"But, drunk, he's actually a decent person."
"V..."
"Hey, look at them go! Ride 'em, Laura! Would it make you feel
better if they took him to a room?"
"V!"
"Just ask him if he wants to be rescued."
"I can't get anything done
Brian might have been near the stereo for a while, but he wasn't
there when Scully got there. She had met Doug and another Scott
and stumbled over a semi-orgy involving Brad. Unable to deal
with it all, Scully had downed another two glasses of wine.
Sighing to herself, she started to check the bedrooms. At the third
one, she opened the door and started to say, "Hel—" but someone
put a hand over her mouth, pulled her inside, and closed the door.
"Shh. You might disturb them," that someone who'd pulled her in
said before she took her hand from Scully's mouth. The faint light
from the porch lights glinted off a few silver strands in the young
woman's dark hair.
Once she looked at the bed, Scully didn't see how she could
"disturb them." One of Mulder's clones, at least she thought it was
a clone and not Mulder, had wrapped himself around another man,
and the two seemed to be completely engrossed in exploring one
another. She didn't think they would have heard her "hello" over
the heavy breathing and the small sounds of pleasure they made.
Even in the dimness she could see the muscles in the clone's bare
ass flex as he bent down to—
Fighting down the low pulse of arousal she felt, Scully looked at
the other woman and whispered, "I know what they're doing here,
but what are you doing here?"
"V sent me in here for something a few minutes ago, but damned if
I can remember what it was. They hadn't gotten very far when I
came in, and they said I could stay if I wanted to, since I didn't
look like I wanted to leave anyway. Douglas said he'd gotten used
to people watching him all the time, and Jake seemed to be really
turned on by the idea of an audience. I just wish I had popcorn."
That was Douglas under there? Scully should have known from
the long legs... She looked back at the bed in time to see Jake go
down on Douglas, to the Englishman's very vocal delight. Scully
bit into her fist.
"You can stay if you like. They really don't mind."
"Maybe... For a little while." If they didn't mind... and she
couldn't find Mulder or Brian anyway...
"Sure."
"I kissed you in the water
Alex saw Mulder sitting on a blanket on the beach and came
closer. He couldn't stay away, and hated himself for it. He sat
down next to the older man.
Mulder had rolled up the legs of his jeans and wriggled his toes in
the cool, damp sand. "Hi, Alex." The low voice had an unusual
rolling sound to it, suggesting that he had let himself get a little
drunk. Even though he smiled, he looked tired, faded, and worn-
out.
"Hi yourself." Alex had taken up with Mulder out of lust and need.
Lust for the gorgeous body now sitting next to him, and need for
the way he could trade, like a kind of currency, Fox Mulder for
information and favors owed. It would just be the pleasure of sex
and of getting things that he wanted.
Alex had slept with two of the Kitsune control clones without
emotion getting in the way. He'd liked them, but not enough to
jeopardize his job by going stupid over them. He thought he could
do the same thing with Mulder. Mulder had the same face, same
voice, similar body...
Something had happened somewhere along the way, and Alex
hadn't understood what it was until he'd walked for hours by
himself thinking it over today. It went something like: "Self, we—"
"Don't say it."
"Love him..."
"AUUUUGHHH!!"
[It would happen like this, at the worst time, with the worst
possible person. He's self-destructive, moral, obsessed, sensitive,
stubborn... The worst thing is, those are traits I hate, but they're
some of the things I... love him for. This is sick.]
Mulder settled back onto the blanket and stared up at the night sky.
The cool wind tousled his hair and finally blew it into his eyes.
Alex brushed it away. Mulder looked at him fondly and patted the
blanket in obvious invitation. Alex laid down beside him, thankful
that he'd left the prosthetic arm behind, where it wouldn't get in
the way or trip him up.
"Do you want to know what was bothering me earlier?" Mulder
asked.
Secret information, Alex's great weakness. "Tell me."
"Do you see the bandage on my arm? It's covering a tattoo. I got
the first laser treatment to remove it done today, but it'll take two
more months before I can get the final treatment done. Two
months of living with a number on my arm. My number, and
it's not even the one I expected."
"Fox, what are you talking about?"
Mulder laughed bitterly. "That damned name. 'Fox.' I had
thought they named the line after me, but actually my father named
me after the line. You have to love Dad's sense of humor, the
bastard. I'm Kitsune2, Alex. Number 2, not 1 or prime. The
others weren't cloned off of me. I'm just another unit in the line,
designed to be what I am by the worst monsters the Japanese
and Nazis had to offer. But you knew this, right? You know
everything."
[Aw, hell, no wonder...] "No, I didn't know."
"I'm so tired of myself, Alex. Does that make any sense at all?"
"Yes, it does. I've been there."
"Does it get any better?"
"Sometimes."
Mulder kissed Alex and clutched him tightly before whispering,
"I'm so damned tired of the lies, the angst, the doubts, the
beckoning madness."
Mulder's pain forced Alex into honesty. "I can't take any of that
away from you."
"I know."
(I can't get rid of that for you, but I can put it farther away for a
while.)
Alex kissed his way down Mulder's chest, wetting the cotton,
before stopping just above his groin. "Would this make you feel
better?" Alex asked.
Mulder nodded, unzipped his jeans, and pulled the underwear
away. But Alex didn't immediately take advantage of it, instead
pushing the older man's shirt out of the way to tongue his navel.
The gasps and quivering suggesting he liked that. The younger
man started to stroke Mulder's cock, paying special attention to the
weeping head, in time to the thrusting of his tongue.
"Harder... please," Mulder hissed.
Alex complied, and Mulder let go with a low moan that seemed to
come from the bottom of his soul. He slid down to kiss Alex and
whispered, "Thank you," against the younger man's lips. He
looked ready to pass out.
"No problem. Go to sleep... Mulder."
Mulder smiled and muttered, "You do listen," before he faded
into sleep wrapped in Alex's embrace. Alex rubbed his cheek
against his lover's soft hair and made himself comfortable in their
nest of cool sand before drifting under himself.
Sera danced with Pike and asked, "How are you doing?"
"Are you asking if I want a drink? Desperately." They looked
slightly ridiculous together when she was so much taller than he
was.
"I'm sorry."
"Other people don't stop drinking just because I'm an alcoholic."
"How are you holding up otherwise? I never should have gotten
the Choosers involved in protecting the Kitsunes."
"We're monster killers, Angel. We don't expect to die of old age."
"But the shadow forces nailed five of you."
"If we weren't the martyring type, we wouldn't Choose. Don't
worry about it."
"Can I cut in?" Brian asked as he swung Michelle around again.
Michelle giggled.
Pike bowed to Michelle, who grinned, and pulled her into an
insane tango. They did a dramatic tango walk across the room.
"I've been showing Michelle a good time. I can't believe that
bastard judge gave her asshole husband custody of the kids just
because she'd been seeing psychiatrists most of her life."
"Think of the people involved, Bunny. The Consortium probably
jerked her around behind the scenes all her life. The psychiatrists
kept her drugged up and convinced her she was a sheep."
"Now that her old life is in ruins, are you going to show her she's a
wolf?"
"I think I'm going to make sure she's Megan Connor first. If she
is, I'll introduce her to the people who originally raised her.
Implants and all the accelerated things won't necessarily make her
want to become a wolf."
"She deserves the best."
Sera kissed him. "You are so sweet."
"I thought I saw Scully wandering around earlier. I didn't know
you invited her."
"I wanted her to see the Kitsunes all in one place. I wondered if
she could keep lying to herself after that."
"You're an evil woman, Peanut."
"Thank you."
3. PLAYING THE GAME, part 2
By 7 am the party had wound down as people had gone to bed,
passed out, or paired off. Woken by the sunrise, Mulder and
Krycek stumbled indoors for shelter. Mulder kept apologizing as
he stepped on people. Alex grinned to himself as he kept hearing:
"Ow!"
''M sorry, but what are you doing on the floor?" Mulder asked,
still loose and mellow from drink and sex.
Some people couldn't answer that question, but others had said
things like "It seemed like a good idea at the time," and "This
expensive carpeting is actually pretty soft."
Mulder finally caught up with Alex and whispered, "Bed."
Alex shivered at the warmth breath in his ear. "Anything you
want."
"Anything?"
They opened the door to the first bedroom they found and
floundered in the dimness until they found the bed. Alex let
himself fall backward onto it but immediately leapt back up when
the bed yelped. "Hey!" a Mulder voice yelled.
"Sorry," Mulder said.
"Mulder?" Scully asked muzzily. Mulder almost freaked out at the
implications until he realized that her voice was coming from the
floor. Then he tried to wrap his mind around what she could be
doing lying on the floor.
Alex grabbed him by the arm. "C'mon, Scott, this room is
obviously occupied," Alex said as he dragged Mulder out and
closed the door.
"What was that all about?"
Alex kissed him. "Are you ready for Scully to see you with me?"
"Shit, I am out of it. I'm glad you're here to do the thinking for
me."
Alex snorted. "If only I could get you to say that sober. There has
to be an unoccupied corner somewhere..."
They somehow made it up the stairs and found a small, unoccupied
room in the back. This time the bed didn't object when they
landed on it. "Seduce me?" Mulder asked.
"Only if you seduce me next."
"Deal."
Alex gave up trying to understand it. Since hurting Mulder now
meant hurting himself, he wouldn't do it anymore. Altruism, Alex
Krycek style. He couldn't imagine life without moments like this,
with Mulder, who seemed to have forgotten that he'd asked Alex
to seduce him, trying to outline his body in kisses. [Not that I'll
say a word to remind him...]
The vaccine had worked and earned Alex a place with the
Consortium again. He intended to take it, but not for the reasons
they expected. He could take what he wanted from them and use
his position to sabotage their plans for Mulder. Maybe he could
even convince them to let him keep an eye on Mulder... The
game Alex intended to play would be dangerous.
He looked forward to it.
end...
"And you can dream,
The living Kitsunes:
Hoping to Fall into Grace IV
by Viridian5
Too much
I'll take whatever you're giving:
Not enough...
—My misheard lyrics from "6 Underground" by the Sneaker Pimps
Nothing seems to fit.
I know you'd hit out
If you only knew who to hit"
—"Acrobat" by U2
A job that slowly kills you,
Bruises that won't heal.
You look so tired, unhappy.
Bring down the government,
They don't... they don't speak for us."
—"No Surprises" by Radiohead
"Hey you! With your ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call
Would you touch me?"
—"Hey You" by Pink Floyd
"Gimme the ring, kissed and toll'd,
Gimme something that I missed,
A hand to hold, wild and what it seems..."
—"This Corrosion" by the Sisters of Mercy
With what you're being put through."
—"Policy of Truth" by Depeche Mode
—"Shape of Rage" by Swamp Terrorists
With you shaking around like that.
Can't take a poke at fun
With that animal on your back."
—"Animal" by Prick
And made your dry lips sing"
—"The Walk" by the Cure
"First I was a murderer, then I was a saint.
Now I live on stolen time, twist and run like paint"
—"Like an Animal" by the Glove
So dream out loud.
You know that your time is coming 'round.
Don't let the bastards grind you down..."
—"Acrobat" by U2
Kitsune2: Fox Mulder—federal agent, Virginia
Kitsune3: Brian Kessler—writer, monster killer, traveling
[Kalifornia]
Kitsune4: Dennis Bryson—DEA agent =absent= [Twin Peaks]
Kitsune5: Scott Schilling—rent boy, (Miami) Florida
Kitsune6: Lucas Stewart, Luke—photojournalist, Texas
Kitsune8: Eugene Sands—former doctor, California (Playing God)
Kitsune11: Jacob Fleiss—Jake: architect, California [Red Shoe
Diaries]
Kitsune13: Scott Ebinger—college English professor, Illinois
Kitsune14: Peter Watts—defense lawyer, (Memphis) Tennessee
Kitsune16: Brad Keating—businessman [Beethoven]
Kitsune17: Douglas Litchke—cop, (Las Vegas) Nevada
