'Always on guard,' he thought. 'What would it be like to come home unarmed?'
He stopped and almost laughed out loud. 'Home?' He shook his head. 'What
home?'
Pushing the door open a crack with his foot, Krycek slipped inside with gun
raised, ready. He closed it behind him, never turning his back, and inched his
way to the floor lamp. Alex knew the room by heart. He turned it on, the light
shedding a small circular glow on the floor. Panning the small room,
everything seemed in order until Krycek's gaze stopped suddenly. His jaw
dropped. He couldn't believe his eyes or ears.
"Thought you'd never get here. I was starting to believe the Gunmen got the
address wrong." Mulder was lounging comfortably on the couch, arms resting
across the back, his long legs splayed, trying to look casual. He raised his
arm and took a sip from the long-necked beer bottle in his hand, drawing
attention to his fuller lower lip as he licked a stray drop from the lush curve.
"Nice place you've got here."
Krycek gaped at the sight before him for a full minute. Then he snapped.
"Mulder, get your ass off my couch right now and leave or I will blow your
head off." Krycek clicked back the safety and aimed for the man on his
couch.
"Don't I at least get a count of five? It's only fair." Mulder took another sip
and put the bottle onto the table beside the couch. He stood up, stretching
his arms above his head, and with his normal deadpan expression began his
advance towards Krycek, saying, "One."
Krycek held his aim steady and watched the man approach. Mulder's dark
green tee shirt was stretched taut over his wide chest and shoulders,
sleeves short, showing his muscular arms, and his jeans were perfect ö not
too tight, but not too loose. Just fitted enough to see the perfect outline of
his fit legs and slim hips.
"Two." The corners of Mulder's mouth twitched in his effort to suppress a
smile. With his, "Three," Mulder was standing directly in front on Krycek.
Krycek's hand wavered slightly, but did not falter. He pressed the gun into
Mulder's chest as the man said, "Four."
Nervous, afraid he might have to shoot the other man, Krycek warned him,
"Mulder, the difference between you and me is that I'll shoot at five."
Not being able to contain it any longer, Mulder's face broke into a huge grin.
He began to giggle, releasing his anxiety in laughter.
Gasping for breath, he said, "Guess I won't say 'five' then."
Mulder reached up to run a hand through Krycek's hair. Alex flinched slightly
and drew back, but Mulder moved with him. Amusement ceased and hunger
took over as he eased his hand slowly down the younger man's cheek, tracing
the sharp cheekbone. In a raspy voice, Mulder said, "You know, you have the
most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." Krycek was paralyzed by his touch. He
did not resist when Mulder took the gun away from him, clicked the safety
on, and tossed it onto a nearby chair.
He thought he was dreaming. The sensation of falling was overwhelming him
as the other man began to undress him. Mulder eased Krycek's leather jacket
off and let it fall to the floor. Running his hands over his shoulders and
around his neck, Mulder pulled Krycek closer, their bodies barely touching.
Struggling to keep his cool, trying to be unresponsive, but becoming
desperate for more, Alex asked, "Isn't my job to play mind games, Mulder?
What is it you want?"
"I think I want about the same thing you do... us, naked, writhing... ." He pulled
Krycek closer and their bodies melted together.
Krycek could not believe his ears. "Y-y-you want that too?"
Mulder smiled in victory. "Would I be here if I didn't?" Mulder leaned in as if to
kiss him, almost touching his face, but instead stopped short and inhaled
deeply.
"W-what are you doing?"
"I love the way you smell. If only they could bottle it... " Turning his head a bit
Mulder touched his lips to Krycek's. The kiss started out innocently, but it
soon became deeper, Mulder's tongue entering Krycek's mouth slowly. Wary
at first, Krycek held back, but he soon lost control. They touched tongues;
the result was devastating. Krycek's hand found the edge of Mulder's shirt
and pulled it up, rubbing his back, letting his hand feel the warmth of the
man's skin. Mulder's hands ravaged Krycek's hair, pulling at the short hairs,
holding him close, trying to pull him closer.
They stumbled and tripped their way to the couch, Krycek collapsing onto
Mulder. Sitting up, Mulder stripped off his shirt. He reached to pull off Alex's,
stopping when he saw the tense expression on his face.
Mulder said, "It's all right, Alex. I know." He eased the tee shirt off, and
leaned over to kiss Krycek's left shoulder, trying to be as gentle as possible.
"And I'm sorry." He ran his tongue up his neck, planting small kisses along the
way, and nibbled on Krycek's earlobe.
'He's mine,' he thought. 'Mulder's finally mine.' Krycek pushed him back down
on the couch and leaned over him.
Krycek began to trail kisses down Mulder's chest, weaving circles around his
nipples, watching each harden under his tongue. He ran his hand along his
chest, feeling the short hairs.
"Do you know how long I've waited for this?" Krycek said, his mouth pressed
into Mulder's chest.
Mulder sighed with pleasure and ran his hand along Krycek's side. "About as
long as I have?"
Krycek glanced at him and smiled. "No, I don't think you wanted me that first
day, Fox. When you ditched me."
"Maybe subconsciously I did. You never know. Besides, I didn't ditch you. I
just... tried to pretend you weren't there. Then I realized you weren't going
away, that I didn't want you to go away."
"Yeah, sure. Like I'm supposed to believe that." He scooted up a bit and began
his attack on Mulder's neck. Nibbling and nipping, Krycek left small teeth
marks along Mulder's throat. Moving up, he began to taste his chin...
Mulder's cell phone broke the silence. Glancing around, Krycek saw it on the
end table, and as if awakened from a dream, Krycek snapped back to reality.
He panicked, reacting before he could think clearly.
"You fucking bastard!" Fumbling to put his tee shirt back on, still sitting on
top of Mulder, Krycek cursed under his breath. He felt vulnerable without
that thin layer of cotton, and he wasn't about to give Mulder an edge.
"What, Alex... what?" Mulder placed his hands on the other man's thighs,
rubbing gently, talking in a soft, urgent voice. "What is it?"
'I should have known!' Krycek chided himself. 'Dammit Alex, Mulder doesn't
care about you, he's just using a new move. Instead of hitting you, he thought
he could get more from you by seducing you. He just wants to pump you for
information, and if he has to fuck you to get it, well, then he'll do it.'
Confused, Mulder tried to sit up but failed. Krycek was straddling him, holding
him down.
"How's it feel, Mulder? To have the situation reversed?" Before he could stop
himself, Krycek had slammed his fist into Mulder's cheek. "It's not fun, is it?"
Climbing off of him, Krycek went to the chair and picked up the gun. He aimed
it at Mulder.
"Get out. Now." His voice was rough, scratchy.
"Krycek, what the hell is wrong? I take my phone everywhere! It's probably
one of the three stooges seeing if I got here all right. I'm not trying to set
you up. Please, just drop the gun and come back." Mulder spoke quietly, but
Krycek heard, and disregarded, the plead in it.
"Mulder, leave now. I mean it. I'm not taking this shit anymore. I don't know
why I let it go this far." Krycek's words came out in a low growl.
"Alex, please don't do this." Mulder wrung his hands nervously. His voice was
almost incredulous, as if he couldn't believe he was begging. "I'm... not lying
to you. I really do want you. Please, just put down the gun."
"Just fucking leave!"
Resigned, Mulder grabbed his tee shirt and pulled it over his head. Rubbing his
sore cheek and staring at Krycek, he reached for his phone and put it in his
back jeans pocket. He took another swig of beer from the bottle, leaving it
on the coffee table.
As he walked towards the door, Mulder stopped beside Krycek, turning his
head slightly to stare at him from beneath lowered lashes. The older man
opened his mouth to speak, but clamped it shut before a word could escape
his lips. He strode over to the door, pausing a moment before opening and
slamming it behind him.
Krycek stood staring into space. Mulder had left, and like one of his punches,
it left Krycek unable to support himself to stand, his knees buckling beneath
him. He stumbled across the room. Falling onto the couch, he became aware
of the warmth of where Mulder had been lying, the overstuffed couch
cushions indented where his body had been.
Groaning aloud, Krycek pushed his nose into the cushions, inhaling the scent
of Mulder. 'I love the way you smell' reverberated in his brain. A vision of the
snug tee shirt and slim jeans flickered before his tightly closed eyes. Trying
to shoo away the image, Krycek quickly opened his eyes, only to see the beer
bottle, half-empty, standing on the table.
Sitting up and reaching out his hand, Krycek grabbed the bottle. He sank back
into the couch, turning the bottle around in his hand, gazing at it as if it were
Mulder himself. Krycek mentally cursed himself. 'I had him here,' he thought.
'And I let him go. He could have been mine. Right here on this couch. Who
cares what kind of game he was playing? He was acting like he wanted it too;
I could have used my imagination. I would have been better off than I am now,
smelling the couch and making eyes at a beer bottle.'
He raised the bottle to his mouth and ran his tongue along the lip, searching
for lingering traces of Mulder. Slowly tipping it up, Krycek took a sip. The
taste reminded him of the faint taste of beer in Mulder's kiss. Closing his
eyes, Krycek gave in and let the image of Mulder flood his mind, while still
tasting the liquid in his mouth. 'It's gonna be a long night,' he thought.
Part 2
Standing in an alleyway, Krycek watched her. Red hair glinting in the bright
sunshine, Scully looked professional as she talked with a cop. They were
standing in front of a deserted warehouse across the street from the alley.
Krycek could see them easily, but he could not be seen. The cop was gazing
intently at Scully, nodding and giving her a goofy smile every few minutes.
She was completely focused on the matter at hand, however, and totally
unaware of the mooning cop.
'She doesn't realize how beautiful she is,' Krycek thought, suppressing a
laugh. 'I wonder if Mulder's ever told her that she's pretty?'
He sighed and shook his head. Leaning against the wall, a shot of jealousy ran
through him, and he thought, 'Don't go there, Alex.' He began to watch her
again, noticing her furrowed brow. 'At least I know he'll be here soon.
Wherever she goes, he follows.'
Five minutes later a cab pulled up to the curb directly in front of Scully and
the officer. Mulder stepped out, the cab speeding off as soon as the door
was closed.
'Does he antagonize everyone?' Alex laughed to himself.
Mulder greeted them, and after excusing himself, the cop walked over to the
squad care parked up the street. He glanced back over his shoulder to watch
the two of them for a few seconds, as if jealous of how close the agent was
standing to Scully. But all Alex could see was Mulder, the older man's black
trench coat flapping around his legs and his bright dress shirt seeming to
glow in the sun. Krycek always noticed what Mulder was wearing, a habit he
had picked up over the years. It began that first day, watching Mulder listen
to wiretap, taking in the crisp white shirt, ugly tie, and the pin-stripe suit.
But it had only gotten better since that day so many years ago. The deep
blue shirt peeking from underneath Mulder's stylish black suit jacket and long
trench coat was one of Krycek's favorites, and must be one of Mulder's
because he seemed to wear blue often now. He loved the flash of color
against the agent's smooth throat.
Smiling at Scully, Mulder began to listen intently as she relayed information
to him, reaching into his pants pocket every so often and then raising his
hand to his mouth.
'Sunflower seeds. He's an addict.' Alex wanted to taste the salt from his
fingers. He imagined himself sucking on agent's long digits. 'Stop it! You've
got to fucking focus!'
After she finished, Mulder began to talk excitedly, gesturing slightly with his
hands.
'Here comes the theory,' Krycek thought. 'I can almost see the wheels
turning in his head.'
Scully stood facing Mulder, her arms folded across her chest, lips pursed.
She began to shake her head. Mulder began to gesture even more, but Scully
just rubbed her temples. The ringing of a cell phone broke their discussion
and she turned slightly to answer it, as if not looking at Mulder gave her
some privacy. He stood waiting, absently picking lint from his coat and
cracking the sunflower seeds in his mouth, tossing the shells onto the
ground. Several minutes later Scully hung up the phone and motioned to the
officer. Turning back to Mulder she said something serious, judging by the
look on her face, and put her hand on his arm. He grinned slightly, an almost
here-we-go-again grin, and Scully sighed deeply. With a slight wave, she
turned on her heel and walked to the squad car, pumps clicking faintly on the
sidewalk. Mulder watched as she opened the car door and settled into the
back seat. The car drove away, leaving Mulder deserted before the
warehouse, milling around and taking in the scenery.
Leaning against a stack of crates to get a better view, Alex accidentally
knocked over some garbage piled beside them. A tin can rattled and clanked
as it hit the pavement. Krycek leaned back, closing his eyes. 'I have to pull it
together, if I'm gonna pull this off,' he thought. 'Get a grip. I cannot let him
know that I'm so weak. Or that I'm following him.'
After several minutes of breathing deeply, Krycek felt the tension ease from
him, and he began to relax. Standing upright again, he opened his eyes.
The tension snapped back as quickly as it had left. Hazel eyes were staring
directly into his, and Mulder's warm breath was on his face.
'Damn, he's quick when he wants to be.' Krycek's brain froze, unable to come
up with any suitable explanation for his presence. 'Mulder's too close,' he
thought. 'I can't think. What am I supposed to say, Hey, I thought some more
about your offer and wanted to fuck you, so here I am, take me now?'
Krycek could not look away from Mulder's eyes. They seemed to take in
every inch of his body. Mulder's heated stare made him shiver involuntarily,
and he wondered what Mulder was really thinking about.
'Hope it's the same thing I'm thinking of,' he thought. Feeling bold, he
returned the stare, taking in Mulder the same way, moving his eyes up and
down the length of the man's body.
Mulder arched an eyebrow and grinned mischievously.
"Thought you'd at least punish me. You know, not show up for six months,
break into my apartment. I didn't think you'd sink to stalking me like a
lovesick puppy, watching me from alleyways."
Mulder backed up slightly as he said these words, still grinning, still pulling
seeds from his pocket and munching them, allowing Krycek to regain his
composure—somewhat. He thought about Mulder's fingers again and almost
groaned.
"Agent Mulder, how do you know I'm not working? I don't have time to waste
following you around on your little cases for personal reasons." Krycek tried
to make the words sound detached and hardened, but his voice trembled
slightly, betraying him. 'Get a fucking grip,' his mind screamed.
Mulder's smile widened, and reaching out a slender hand, he straightened the
lapel on Krycek's worn black leather jacket, letting his touch linger. Krycek
backed against the wall trying to escape the contact, but realized, too late,
that he was penned in.
The top button of Mulder's shirt was undone and his tie was loosened, as
usual. 'He's still wearing an ugly tie,' Krycek thought. A flash of his white
undershirt showed at his collar. 'Seeing Mulder disheveled is almost better
than seeing him naked.'
Mulder's touch, condescending at first, became more relaxed. Releasing the
lapel, he slid his palm over the man's chest and then up the back of his neck,
stopping in the short hairs at the nape.
"Should I check you for a weapon? You gonna shoot me?" Mulder ran his other
hand over Krycek's back, feeling around the waistband of his jeans.
Tensing again, Krycek lowered his eyes, unable to look at Mulder any longer.
Mulder caught his chin with his other hand and raised Krycek's head.
"Don't look away," he whispered. "I want to see your eyes when I can—my
memories don't do them justice."
Krycek looked at him, unable to believe his ears. Mulder's smile had faded,
and his eyes were sad. Krycek brought his hand up to stroke Mulder's cheek.
For some reason, he wanted to apologize for last night and everything else
he had ever done to hurt Mulder. Krycek knew he could never utter the
words, "I'm sorry", and he hated being a cause of Mulder's pain. He would have
to ask forgiveness some other way, without words.
He pulled the agent toward him, taking his mouth into a hard kiss. They
devoured each other, lips and tongues tangled, taking and giving. Krycek
swiveled Mulder around and pressed him against the brick wall, kissing him
even harder, pressing his arousal against Mulder's thigh. He could taste the
salt of the sunflower seeds in Mulder's mouth.
Breaking apart after several minutes of frantic kissing and groping, both
breathless, Mulder grabbed Krycek's jacket and pulled him deeper into the
alley. Pushing Krycek back against the wall, Mulder reached to unzip Krycek's
jeans. The sadness was gone from his eyes, replaced by sheer desire.
Running his hands under the waistband of his jeans and boxers, Mulder began
to pull them down, watching Krycek's face intently. Realizing what the agent
was doing, Krycek stifled a groan.
"Mulder...here? What if someone comes? Hears us? What if..."
Placing a finger on Krycek's lips, Mulder said, "Don't worry. Nobody'll bother
us. Nobody's gonna stop me this time."
He replaced his finger with his mouth, sucking Krycek's lower lip into his
mouth and nipping it gently. Pulling back, he took off his long trench and laid
it across an empty cardboard box lying nearby. Arching his eyebrows again
and grinning, Mulder sank into a crouching position before Krycek.
Krycek sucked at the air, trying to grasp what was happening to him. Mulder,
his Mulder, was pulling down his jeans and boxers. He was going to do it.
Krycek never would have believed that this would happen in an alleyway, with
Mulder in full G-man attire. The idea of "professional" Mulder doing this to him
nearly drove him wild, and the touch of Mulder's tongue erased any remaining
strands of consciousness. Krycek could only stare as Mulder began to nip and
lick his cock.
Letting his head ease back to rest against the wall, Krycek began to relax
and enjoy Mulder's mouth. Grabbing Mulder's head with his hand, he sighed and
pushed the other man closer to him, pushing himself farther down Mulder's
throat. Thrusting slowly, then more forcefully, he let Mulder work his magic.
The combination of the silky tongue and full lip moving along his cock pushed
him over the edge, making him come forcefully into Mulder's mouth. His
entire body was shaking from the aftershocks of his orgasm. Rising up slowly
from his crouched position, Mulder licked his lips and leaned in to kiss Krycek,
still leaned against the wall with his eyes closed.
Breaking the kiss, Mulder rested his forehead on Alex's.
"You taste about as good as you smell."
Mulder rearranged Krycek's clothes, pulling his jeans up over his hips. Krycek,
still partly in shock, watched as Mulder carefully zipped and buttoned them.
He continued to watch Mulder as he dusted off his slacks, adjusted his suit
jacket, tightened his tie a bit, and reached over to grab his trench. Throwing
the coat over his arm, Mulder looked at Krycek, reached into his pants
pocket, and put another seed between his teeth.
Motioning his hand towards the street, Mulder turned and began to walk.
Noticing that Krycek was not following, he turned to look over his shoulder.
"Aren't you coming?"
"Where are we going, Mulder?"
"My place, your place, honeymoon suite at some cheap motel. I don't
care...anywhere." Mulder's could not hide his exasperation, or his excitement,
with his blasé expression.
Krycek smiled. He loved to see Mulder tense. He also loved seeing Mulder
want him. But he couldn't bring himself to follow him.
"Mulder, do you think I have time in my busy schedule for rendezvous with
you? I mean, thanks for the offer and everything, but, you know, business
before pleasure."
Pushing away from the wall, Krycek moved to stand closer to him. Mulder
was glaring at him.
"You little fucker!"
Krycek's mind screamed, telling him to stop, that he was going too far. He
couldn't stop though. He opened his mouth and everything began to spill out.
"Oh, and Fox? You could use some work on your form. You did an OK job, but
you know, I expected better from you. You're usually so good in everything
you do, never second rate work..."
Before Krycek could finish his sentence, Mulder had dropped his coat and
turned to push Krycek back against the wall. His fist was poised and ready to
fly before Krycek could say another word.
Krycek whispered, "Go ahead, Fox. Punch me. Kick me. You'll still want me.
You'll still think of me at night lying there on your couch. You'll wish you
wouldn't have punched me, tell yourself you won't hit me next time you see
me, that you'll actually tell me that you want me. But each time you do see
me you convince yourself that those feelings are ridiculous, that you're just
horny. That you have to beat the shit out of me for what you think I did to
your dad. Well, go ahead Fox. Take out your frustration on me. No matter
how much you think you've changed...'oh, I sucked Alex's cock, he'll want me
so much now, he'll forget how I treated him before'...you're still the same.
Look where you ended up, ready to beat the shit out of me five seconds
after you finish blowing me." All of Krycek's pent up pain spilled out, leaving
him shaking.
"You bastard," Mulder muttered. Letting Krycek go and lowering his fist, he
bent down to pick up his coat. Standing up and quaking with anger, he quietly
said, "Last night I came to you because I wanted you, but you threw me out.
And like an idiot, I try again today. I should have known you'd be an asshole
after you got what you wanted."
Mulder shook his head. He stretched his arms out by his sides, palms up.
"Was it a power trip, Krycek? Huh? Want to see the great Fox Mulder on his
knees for you? Well, good, glad you got what you wanted. Don't expect it
again. I learned my lesson." Mulder turned and walked down the alleyway,
turning the corner and crossing the street quickly. He paced in front of the
warehouse for several minutes, hands on his hips.
Krycek moved to the edge of the alley to watch him. Looking up from his
pacing, Mulder saw him watching. Mulder kicked a trashcan near him, spilling
garbage on the sidewalk, barely missing his dress shoes as it spilled. Turning,
Mulder looked at Krycek again. Neither could break the stare, until Mulder
swore and turned his eyes to the street. Seeing a cab approach, he raised his
hand up to hail it. He yanked the taxi door open and got in, slamming it behind
him.
As the cab drove off, Krycek took a deep breath. 'Christ,' he thought. 'What
have I done now? He finally stops pushing me away and what do I do? Push
him away.' Cursing himself, he glanced cautiously around and walked out of
the alley and into the sunshine.
Part 3
Mulder took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Sitting at his desk in just his
boxers, staring at his computer for hours, left him with a numb backside and
a throbbing headache. Closing up the computer files and shutting it down, he
stood, stretching his arms and flexing his fingers. Absently scratching his
stomach, Mulder walked to the bathroom. Without turning on the light, he
moved to stand above the toilet. Flushing the toilet, he shifted to the sink,
brushing his teeth in the dark.
Walking back into his living room, Mulder settled down onto the couch, tossing
a blanket over himself absently, snuggling deeper into the crevice of the
cushions. As soon as he shut his eyes, images of Krycek appeared before
him. Sighing, Mulder relaxed and let his memories wash over him. Despite
Krycek's stinging words, Mulder only let the pleasant memories invade-
Krycek's eyes, the way he leaned back when Mulder touched him, the sounds
he made, the taste of him. Mulder drifted off, memories merging with
dreams.
Krycek gazed at the man before him, sleeping peacefully.
'Pleasant dreams, I suppose,' he thought. 'Judging from the look on his face,
very pleasant.'
Krycek sat for several minutes, watching Mulder smile and laugh in his sleep.
'He doesn't do that enough. Guess I don't help much. If I could only rewind
time, I'd have an arm, a safe FBI job, who knows, maybe I'd have him.'
Krycek shook his head, and pulled the blanket over Mulder's legs. Sitting back
down on the coffee table, he pulled his jacket off quickly, but quietly, and laid
it on the floor beside the table.
'I'll just watch him until it gets light,' he told himself, resting his face in his
hands and his elbows on his knees. 'Then I'll split.'
Mulder awoke with a feeling that he was not alone. Squinting his eyes against
the sun streaming in the windows, he saw a slumped figure sitting directly
across from him on the coffee table. Sitting up to face the figure, Mulder
smiled and stretched. The sight of Krycek asleep sitting up on his table was
amusing, and endearing.
Several minutes later, Mulder sighed as he heard the man stir. Preparing
himself for an argument or fistfight, Mulder stretched again, hoping to have
an edge on Krycek.
Krycek's eyes blinked open, and he stared at Mulder for a few seconds
before they focused. To Mulder's surprise, Krycek did not jump on him or try
to run away. Instead, he yawned and stretched his arm over his head and his
legs in front. He ran his hand through his hair and smiled.
"Morning."
Mulder stared at him, trying to decide whether to kick him out or invite him
for breakfast. Breakfast won.
"You hungry?" Mulder bit his lower lip, hoping he'd read Krycek right, wanting
him to stay.
"I could eat. Whatcha got?"
"Coffee, um...maybe toast, if I have bread. Leftover Chinese. Think the milk
ran out a month ago, but I might have some cereal."
"Wow, I'm impressed. You could open up a restaurant."
Mulder grinned. "Sorry. Not used to company."
"Coffee. I'll put in the sugar."
Both men stood at the same time, facing each other and almost touching in
the small space between the couch and the table. Mulder realized after a few
seconds that he was holding his breath. Exhaling slowly, he tried to calm
himself down. He heard Krycek release a breath and knew he was nervous
too. The air between them was charged, almost sparking with the tension.
Neither wanting to make the first move, they stood chest to chest for
several minutes, staring into each other's eyes. Clearing his throat, and
moving away, Krycek spoke.
"Listen, Mulder, I'm sorry about the other day."
"Yeah, sure you are." Sitting back down, Mulder rubbed his eyes. Krycek
stood in front of the window, with his back to Mulder. When he spoke, his
voice was very low, and neutral.
"You know, Mulder, you always bait me, but I'm not gonna bite this time. I
really am sorry. The wrong things always seem to come out of my mouth
whenever you're around. I want to say, 'Damn, you look good' but 'Fuck you'
comes out instead. Lately, I'm kissing you one minute and punching you the
next, when I really want to just keep kissing you."
Krycek turned and faced Mulder.
"I guess I just can't forget how you've treated me in the past. You've beat
the shit out of me, insulted me, accused me of everything. I play the part
you want me to—the vengeful killer—without even realizing it. I ease your
guilt, let you shove yours onto me." Krycek stared at his hands. "Amazing,
isn't it? I do everything for you. You piss me off, but I still want you so badly
that I risk my life to see you. I keep coming back. Just to argue or get a
black eye. I'd rather see you and get hit than not see you at all."
Walking back over to the coffee table, Krycek sat down across from Mulder,
staring into his eyes, trying to decipher the thoughts behind them. Krycek's
voice came out barely louder than a whisper.
"Yesterday, and the day before, when you were coming on to me, it threw
me. I didn't know what you were doing. I just assumed you were manipulating
me like always. A new tactic. I reacted to how I thought you were treating
me, how I thought you felt about me. I thought you didn't give a shit about
me. I played my part. But I realized, after I said what I said, how you felt. It
never hit me before that you thought of me that way. That you wanted me
as much as I wanted you, that you would risk everything to be near me, to
see me. Yesterday I saw the pain in you, the anger, frustration. The love."
Mulder looked at Krycek. Reaching over, Mulder grabbed Krycek's hand. After
fumbling for the right words for several minutes, he spoke.
"Alex, I'm the one who should apologize. I never knew what to do with you. I
thought of you as a kid when we were assigned as partners. That idea
changed pretty quickly, as I came to respect you, even trust you." Laughing
slightly, Mulder continued, "I fell for you. You never knew that, did you? I
thought about you all the time, terrorizing you when I was around you, not
knowing how to handle it, not knowing what IT was. When I found out you
betrayed me I went crazy. And I couldn't find you to deal with it...you were
gone."
Releasing Krycek's hand, Mulder stood up and walked to the kitchen. Krycek
followed. Mulder began to make the coffee, getting out two cups, a spoon,
and a bag of sugar. He turned and faced Krycek, leaning against the counter,
Krycek leaning in the doorway. Mulder's brow knotted, remembering his
frustration.
"Dammit, how was I supposed to react when I saw you again? I couldn't
pretend to feel nothing. I had to blame you for something other than leaving
me, lying to me. I saw you and immediately had to hit you. Either that or kiss
you, which would be totally unexplainable and would make me feel worse later,
feel that I let my heart control me. Of course, I felt like shit every time I hit
you, so it was pretty much a double-edged sword. I'd cry like a fucking baby
at night, wishing I could change the past. But still, I'd see you, and bam! my
fist had already hit you."
Mulder shifted, putting his weight on his other foot. Picking up the spoon
from the counter, he twirled it in his fingers.
"In the beginning I thought I was just obsessed, focusing at first on the only
person around I was attracted to, thinking I was just lonely, and then on the
someone who lied and left me out to dry. Every word you said that night you
broke in here stung me, forcing me to face up to myself. When you kissed
me, it all clicked into place. You left, and I just sat, in a daze. Scully found me
sitting on my couch, as I had been for hours, pondering my relationship with
you. After all that, I considered us to be like lovers." Mulder shook his head.
"Funny, isn't it? We'd never even really kissed and I thought of you as mine."
Putting the spoon down, Mulder turned to pour the coffee. Krycek picked up
the spoon and opened the bag of sugar, offering the first spoonful to Mulder.
"Do you want sugar?"
Smiling slightly, Mulder shook his head. Krycek poured three heaping
spoonfuls into his own cup and stirred. They faced each other and leaned
against the counter. Sipping their coffee, neither said a word.
Drinking the last of the sweet coffee, Krycek put his cup down. He lowered
his eyes and scuffed his feet on the floor.
"I always considered you as mine," Krycek whispered.
Mulder watched Krycek raise his eyes to his. Blinking very slowly, Krycek
moved closer, almost touching Mulder.
"Why have we danced around each other, Mulder? Why couldn't we just admit
it?"
"It's still very complicated. We can't just BE together. We're on different
teams, and this isn't a baseball game. This is life or death. It's bigger than
us, but just like everybody else involved, we're crucial players. And...I can't
tell Skinner I'm involved with the man that almost killed him. And, I mean, do
you think Scully would ever talk to me again? And you, you'd be killed in a
heartbeat once they found out. I couldn't live with that."
Reaching up to grab Mulder's shoulder, Krycek shook him.
"But haven't we been playing their game long enough by their rules? Can't we
make up our own? We don't have to tell anybody. Weekends, vacations...we
can be together. Mulder, I can't walk away from this now. I can't leave you."
"Alex, you can't go anywhere without endangering your life! How can we be
together with any semblance of normalcy when you can't even go to a movie
or a restaurant without fake identification and a disguise?"
"You? Me? Normal? That's funny Mulder. Besides, who says we have to go
out? I mean, if I'm in danger everywhere, I'd rather be with you than alone
somewhere, thinking about you."
Krycek wrapped his hand around the nape of Mulder's neck, ruffling his hair.
He leaned in and kissed Mulder's nose, then pulled back and smiled.
"Isn't it worth a try, Fox? Shouldn't we stop fighting each other and go with
it?"
Mulder reached up and took Krycek's hand. He stood that way for a moment,
just squeezing the hand in his own, then circled his arms around Alex, pulling
him close.
"You should feel really special since I'm actually letting you use my first
name."
Krycek laughed, "I don't see why you despise it so much. It's very fitting—Foxy."
"Cute, Alex, very cute."
They kissed slowly, quietly, but each felt the pressure building. Alex pulled
away and asked him, "Do you have a bed in this place?"
"Yes, contrary to popular opinion, I do."
They walked to the bedroom, Mulder glancing back at the other man every
few seconds. Halfway to the bedroom, Krycek tugged on Mulder's hand.
"We're never gonna get there if you keep looking at me."
Mulder didn't turn around. "Sorry. This is all kind of new. You know, we could
just talk..."
Krycek smiled. "You're not scared, are you? I mean, you're the one who's
been coming on to me."
"No, no, of course I'm not scared. I want you."
Mulder pulled Krycek along until they reached the door to his room. Pushing it
open, Mulder stepped in, glanced around, and then moved to let Krycek in.
Looking around, Krycek began to laugh. Seeing Mulder staring at him, he tried
to stop, only to make himself laugh harder. Mulder folded his arms across his
chest. Krycek gasped for breath as he began to regain his composure.
Clearing his throat, he said, "So this is Fox Mulder's bedroom. I can see it's
not been used for a while?"
Mulder glared at Krycek. "You know where I sleep."
Krycek moved to stand beside the bed. "I suppose you won't need these
anymore?" He picked up a dusty magazine from the bed.
"Hey, those are collector's editions. Man, you're here for five minutes and
already you're acting like a jealous girlfriend."
Krycek began to pile up the magazines. Mulder watched him for a second and
then moved to help him. They put the stacks on the floor under the window.
Turning to look at the cleared off bed, Krycek began to laugh again.
"When was the last time you changed these sheets?"
Getting defensive again, Mulder grumbled something about the couch.
"OK, Foxy, where's some clean sheets?"
Part 4
An inch of dust later, Mulder fell back onto the freshly made bed.
"I'm exhausted."
"Mulder, all we did is make up the bed!" Staring at the man sprawled out in
front of him, Krycek became aware of the rising temperature in the room.
"Oh, I meant to tell you that I've really enjoyed watching you in those boxers.
They're really very sexy. Never knew I'd fall for a guy that owned shorts with
lobsters all over them." He moved to stand between Mulder's splayed legs
hanging over the edge of the bed.
"Hey, don't knock the lobsters..." Mulder said while raising up on his elbows.
Looking at Krycek, he recognized the look in his eyes. His voice came out
raspy, "At least not until I can see yours to compare."
Pulling his tee shirt over his head, Krycek tossed it on the floor, and he
kicked off his shoes, pulling them off with his feet. He eased the prosthesis
off and laid it on the floor beside the bed. Seeing Mulder sit up, Krycek moved
closer to the edge of the bed, still between Mulder's legs. He moved his hips
forward, waiting for Mulder to unfasten his pants. Mulder raised his hands,
fumbled with the top button, and finally freed it from the hole, all the while
looking at Krycek. Feeling for a zipper, and not finding one, Mulder glanced
down.
"Button-flies? You wore button-flies? Do you know how long this is going to
take? It took me two minutes to get the first one undone!"
"Just think of it as sweet torture."
"I'll show you what sweet torture is." Mulder moved his hands around to cup
Krycek's ass and ran a finger down the middle seam of the well-worn jeans.
He began to draw circles lightly with his fingertips over the fabric, while
pressing his face to Krycek's stomach. He kissed his way to his navel, licking
around the opening, and nipping at the edges. Krycek watched Mulder in
amazement, unable to believe that this was happening. Mulder's timidity had
faded, and he was becoming bolder, kissing his way along the waistband of his
jeans. As Mulder's fingers began to press harder along the seam on the butt
of his jeans, Krycek pushed him away.
"Fox, just unbutton the buttons. Please," he breathed.
Mulder smiled up at him. "Can't take the torture?" He pressed a hand to
Krycek's crotch for emphasis.
"No, oh...I can't." Krycek moved Mulder's hand up and put it on the button-fly.
"Just start unbuttoning."
Slowly, Mulder began working on the buttons, working a finger between each
one to brush lightly against the cotton underneath.
Twisting away slightly, Krycek yelped, "Jesus, it can't possibly take this long!
I can put them on and take them off with one hand quicker!"
Krycek tried to grab Mulder's wrist, to pull his hand away, but Mulder dodged
him. Putting his arms around Krycek, Mulder pulled him down to lay on top of
him, then rolled over so Mulder himself could be on top. Standing up, as
Krycek had been standing, he began to play with the buttons on Krycek's
jeans again, finally freeing the last one from its hole. Stepping back and
grabbing the hem of each pant leg, Mulder slowly backed up, pulling the jeans
off of the man's body, and tossed them on top of Krycek's tee shirt. Moving
back to the edge of the bed, Mulder grabbed Krycek's right leg and ran his
hands down along the length of it, peeling off the sock from his foot. He
continued with the left leg, balling up the sock from his left foot before he
threw it over his shoulder onto the top of the pile.
Mulder moved closer to the edge of the bed, and raised first one knee, and
then the other, to kneel between Krycek's spread legs. Seeing Krycek smile,
Mulder leaned down closer and kissed him briefly on the lips.
"Well, what can I say? I have no ammunition against any remarks you may
have about the lobsters. Who knew you were so normal?" Mulder moved to lie
beside Krycek, rising on his left elbow to look at him. "Although, I feel I must
admit that boxer briefs are very sexy." Mulder circled Krycek's bellybutton
with a lazy fingertip, moving it farther down with each circle, until he reached
the waistband.
Krycek was staring at him with darkened eyes, still lying on his back. "OK,
before I completely lose control, do you have everything we'll need? I really
don't want to go too far if we don't have the necessary equipment." He
raised his hand to Mulder's cheek, feeling the rough morning stubble.
Mulder smirked. "Yes. Oddly enough. Guess it's hard to believe that I, the guy
who never gets any, am prepared. Must come from the Boy Scout years."
Pushing himself up, he walked to the bathroom, glancing at the man on his
bed over his shoulder.
Krycek yelled after him, "So, the Boy Scouts teach you about these things?"
"Very funny," Mulder said when he returned. "You know what I meant, 'Be
prepared' and all that." Mulder threw the condoms and lube onto the bed
beside Krycek, and placed a hand on either side of him, leaning over to kiss
the center of his chest. "It's not like they give easy how-to instructions in
the handbook, right beside 'How to Start a Campfire'." Mulder continued to
kiss Krycek, bringing his knees onto the bed, moving his lips up to his throat.
He hovered over Krycek's face, smiling down on him. Krycek cleared his
throat, reached up and grabbed Mulder's neck. Pulling him closer,
Krycek looked into his eyes and said, "Kiss me, Fox, and get on with it."
Mulder kissed him gently on the lips. "Do you know that lobsters learn about
their surroundings and their mates through taste, touch, and smell?" Mulder
licked underneath his chin for emphasis. "Because they can't really see, they
use their body to detect things. Basically, their entire body is just one big
sensory organ." He hooked his fingers in the waistband of Krycek's briefs,
pulling them down as he moved off the bed, throwing them into his pile of
clothing.
Seeing Krycek raise up on his elbow, Mulder quickly stripped off his boxers
and moved again to the bed, falling beside the other man on the mattress.
Krycek turned his head to look at him.
"No more stalling, Mulder," he whispered. Kissing him again, he rolled over
onto his stomach. "I want you now."
Mulder hesitated again. "So, where should I start?" Mulder touched Krycek's
ass, feeling him shiver.
Krycek raised an eyebrow. "You actually want someone to tell you what to
do? You're not just gonna jump right in there, figuring it out as you go along,
like usual?"
"Hey, it's your call...if you want me to jump right in, so be it...." Mulder moved
to straddle Krycek, reaching for the condom.
Before he could tear open the package, Krycek struggled to move under him.
"Hold up...I was just teasing."
"Teasing, Alex? Haven't you learned yet that I take everything seriously?"
Mulder ripped open the package, and slipped the condom over his straining
cock. He pushed Krycek back down on the bed, feeling him tense under him.
Mulder leaned over him and whispered into his ear, "Don't worry. I'm joking. I
know I can't just shove it in. I was just trying to scare you."
Exhaling, Krycek growled, "It worked."
Mulder opened the tube of lubricant and spread it on his fingers. Pressing a
finger, then two into Krycek's ass, Mulder felt the man's response, the
muscles tightening around his fingers. Hearing Alex moan, he was overcome
by laughter. Krycek turned his head, frowning.
"Jeeesus, Mulder!" His eyes were almost sparking. "What's so funny? We're
never gonna get anywhere, and I'm the one who's suffering."
"I just thought about the look on Scully's face if she were to walk in right
now. She'd shit a..."
"She'd probably fucking shoot us both." He lowered his head, resting his
forehead on the mattress. He pleaded, "Now, PLEASE finish what you
started!"
After a few more minutes of giggling and complaining, Mulder crouched over
Krycek, pressing his erection slowly into his ass, feeling the muscles tighten
and then give. Encouraged by Krycek's groan and a mumbled, "Took you long
enough", Mulder began to thrust slowly, barely able to contain himself,
engulfed by pleasure. Hearing Krycek say his name, followed by a string of
curses, and feeling him move beneath him, Mulder began to thrust faster.
Without thinking, he reached around and grasped Krycek's own erection,
stroking his cock in rhythm with his own movements. Mulder listened as
Krycek mumbled words, alternating between Russian and English, but soon
lost all comprehension as he neared the edge. They both came hard, Krycek
first, panting and muttering, and then Mulder, collapsing beside him
afterwards.
Waking up several hours later, Krycek looked at Mulder sleeping beside him,
again smiling in his sleep. Sitting up and pushing stray hairs from Mulder's
forehead, he studied his face. The full lips, large nose, the shadow of facial
hair.
'He's perfect,' he thought. 'And he's mine. I'm the reason he's smiling. For
once, I didn't hurt him.'
He ran his finger along Mulder's earlobe and placed the palm of his hand on his
cheek. Mulder's eyes opened slightly and his smile widened. After a few
seconds, he closed his eyes again, drifting back to sleep.
Krycek laid down beside him, lying on his side, continuing to watch him until he
himself began to drift off to sleep. 'And he trusts me.'
end
Lobsters
by Susan
Krycek slid the key into the lock of his apartment door. Before opening the
door all the way, he put the key back into his pocket and grabbed his gun.
