Ahh what the hell? If I make a fool out of myself, so be it.
He typed in the website address and soon he was connected to an online
personal ad site. He then typed in his own personal ad. He knew who he was
describing in the ad, and he didn't care... he needed to get his mind off
him... needed to stop wanting the man he should hate. Sure, he wanted him,
but if he could get someone that had the same features, someone who will not
betray him, then it's all for the better.
SWM, 37, brown hair, hazel eyes, Washington D.C area. Looking for equally
SWM, preferably same age or younger, dark hair, green eyes, interested in a
serious relationship. Need someone to take my mind off of the man who has
taken my heart against my own will. I want my soul back.
Mulder reread his message. A little on the corny side, but oh well. It was
the truth. Alex Krycek had his heart and soul and he wanted them back. He
sighed heavily,sent the message and signed off.
Alex Krycek started at his computer screen for the millionth time, still not
believing what he was looking at.
A message... no, not a message a personal ad from Fox Mulder on the
internet. It wasn't hard to figure out it was Mulder. The description could
have been a coincidence, but once he saw the e-mail address, he definitely
knew it was him. Alien@hotmail.com. Jeez, Mulder, can you be any more
original?
He snickered to himself, and then his expression went serious, as he thought
of who Mulder was describing in his ad. Alex knew it was he, but that
didn't help him get over the shock. He never even dreamed that Mulder felt
that way about him.
He had feelings for the gorgeous G-man since he had first met him. It was
never his choice to betray the FBI agent, far from it. No, if Alex Krycek
the man had a choice, he would have been Fox Mulder's partner for life... in
more ways than one. It was Alex Krycek the Consortium errand boy that had
betrayed Fox Mulder; that had seen the shot through the window that had
killed Bill Mulder; who had been there when Melissa Scully was shot.
Hurting Fox Mulder was not his choice... and loving... Fox Mulder... he had
never planned... but it had happened, and he has never gotten over it. So now,
fate was giving him a chance... a chance to tell Mulder his feelings... and
maybe, just maybe, Mulder would stop lying to himself and admit his own as
well.
He started typing a response that would show up in Mulder's mailbox on the
matchmaking site.
Lonely,
Alex reread what he wrote then sent it. This is completely insane... he's
probably gonna hate you for not telling him it was you! Why are you doing
this?
Because I'm sick of this shit. If he kills me, he kills me, if he tells me
to get out of his life forever... well... I'd rather be dead... but I'm gonna risk
it... I'm tired of this game.
Fox Mulder signed online to check for any responses to the ad he had posted
yesterday. He started regretting doing this in the first place, but it was
too late to go back now. He couldn't believe it when he logged into his
account and there was a message there. He began to read it...
After he was done, he debated what he should do. He could respond back and
arrange a date... This man seemed nice... from over the internet... he could be
anything in real life. He could keep playing it safe, or he could take some
risks.
Hey, you only live once.
Depressed,
Alex smiled when he read Mulder's message. He's so adorable.
Alex wrote back telling him that tomorrow was fine and that he'd be there
around eight. He signed off and went to sleep, wondering what would happen
tomorrow.
Fox Mulder was nervous all day... Scully kept giving him strange looks like he
was crazy.
Oh Scully... if you only knew... you'd think this was my craziest idea yet and
have me committed.
Work finally ended and he drove home, tapping his fingers on the steering
wheel.
Jesus, calm down!
Once he got home, he started to get ready. He changed his mind on what to
wear a million times... he went from jeans...
Too casual
to a suit...
Too formal
Finally, he decided on black dress pants and a black silk shirt. He left the
top two buttons undone. He observed himself in the mirror and had to
admit... he looked sexy. He sprayed on some Obsession for men by Calvin Klein
and smiled at his reflection.
This is what I need... I'm so glad I did this.
Don't say that yet... the guy could be ugly... or a psycho.
I'll find out soon enough.
He ordered the Chinese Food... it arrived at a quarter to eight. He set the
dining room table, lit two candles on it and put on some soft music. At eight
o'clock the doorbell rang and Mulder jumped. He hesitated for a minute then
walked toward the door.
Alex Krycek stood outside the door waiting for Mulder to open it. He was very
nervous, wondering how he will react. In his hand he held a bottle of red
wine and a single red rose. He was wearing black pants and a navy blue silk
shirt.
Suddenly the door opened end shocked hazel eyes met emerald green. Fox Mulder
was frozen, he didn't know what to say... what to think. Was it
possible... that Alex Krycek was the man he was conversing with over the
internet... the man who he had this... date with? His shock then turned to
anger as he realized that Alex knew it was him and didn't tell him. He
started to think that this was some kind of sick joke, that Alex was playing
with his emotions... making him look like a fucking fool so he could just laugh
in his face.
Alex saw Mulder's eyes darken and he knew this was not good. Before he could
say anything he was pulled into the apartment and slammed up against the
wall.
"What the fuck are you doing here Krycek?! Is this your idea of a joke?!"
Alex struggled out of Mulder's grasp and moved away. "I'm here because I
was the one you set this date up with... I'm Depressed. Alex handed Mulder the
wine bottle and the rose.
Mulder put the bottle on the coffee table but threw the rose on the floor and
steeped on it. He thought he saw a flash of pain in Alex's eyes at that.
"Give it up Krycek! What did you do, huh? Did you break into my account?
Read my mail you son of a bitch?! And then decided to humiliate me! Fuck
you!"
"I did not break into your e-mail god dammit! Why the fuck must you think
everyone is out to deceive you!? This is NOT a joke! I'm not here to laugh in
your face. I was hoping... I was hoping you could look at me once... just
once... without hate in your eyes. I can see now that is never going to happen.
Good-bye Mulder."
Mulder stood there speechless and Alex started to walk toward the door. He
suddenly turned around and looked into Mulder's eyes. "I'm giving you your
heart and soul back, Mulder... even though it took a fucking personal ad for
me to figure out that I had them. "Deny Everything", Mulder... fuck, you sure
did."
At that moment, Fox Mulder knew how stupid he was being... pining over a man
he thought he could never have, and now here he is and he treats him like
this.
You only live once.
The words echoed in his head again, and he grabbed Alex's hand that was just
about to turn the doorknob. He spun the younger man and covered his mouth
fiercely with his own, causing Alex to moan into his mouth and wrap his arms
tightly around Mulder's back, crushing their bodies together. Their tongues
tangled, deepening the kiss while rubbing their sudden erections against each
other
Fox broke the kiss and stared into the beautiful green eyes. "I'm sorry. You
are right. I contradict myself like crazy. I tell myself I want you... and you
come here, and I treat you like shit. I'm sorry Alex. I... I have always loved
you."
Alex stared into honest hazel eyes. His heart pounded painfully in his chest
as he finally saw something other hate of him in those beautiful eyes. He saw
love.
"I've always loved you too, Fox." They smiled at each other and resumed
kissing. They stumbled into the bedroom, tearing each others clothes off, not
caring about eating dinner. Tonight they both finally had what they had
wanted for years and they weren't going to waste another minute.
They made love all night, fueled by passion and desire. When Alex entered Fox
he finally felt complete as he thrusted in and out, faster and faster,
jerking Fox off at the same time. They climaxed together screaming each
others name's into the air. They finally stopped around two in the
morning... laughing as they both couldn't get it up anymore even if they wanted
to.
They fell asleep wrapped around each other and from that day on, Fox Mulder
was going to live life to the fullest, along side the man he loved.
Thank god for the internet.
You Only Live Once
by Sarah
Fox Mulder sat down at his computer and signed on to the internet. He had
been putting this off for a while, and although it did scare him a little, it
was something that he really wanted. He was tired of being alone, tired of
not having anyone to come home to after a long day at work. Tired of not
crawling into bed next to someone he loved, and that loved him in return. He
was just simply tired... of it all.
Signed,
Lonely
I am a SWM, early 30's, dark brown hair, green eyes. I move
around a lot, but I have been in D.C for quite awhile... I like it here. I am
looking for a serious relationship and I would love it if we could set
something up. I also have someone that I love... that I have loved for
years... someone I have hurt, but I never wanted to... I'm lonely too and very
depressed. I'd love to meet you.
Signed,
Depressed
I know about depression and... well it sucks ;-) I would like
to meet you... are you busy tomorrow night? It's Friday, so we can have dinner
at my apartment if you want... and we can talk, get to know each other better.
I can't cook for shit
Lonely
