The Moment of Truth
Oh well, I'm not that hungry, he reasoned. A distracted smile played over his lips
while he stroked and petted the warm
golden skin.
Streetlights and shop signs across the way cast an eerie glow into the semi-darkened
room. Mulder looked around and took in
the assorted clothing haphazardly strewn across the room. Oh my God... what a
night. Are we going to regret this move in the
light of day? He pushed away the nagging thought, drew in a deep breath and
released it as a long sigh.
Mulder focused on a shimmery gleam near the nightstand and leaned over for a
closer inspection: a shirt button. Memories of
the previous night flooded back, bringing another ache. This one was welcomed: it
was heavy and sweet and centered squarely
in his groin, dangerously close to the stilled hand.
It had started with a kiss.
The kiss began tentatively enough. It was a hint, a mere flicker of promise, nothing
more. Just a quick brush of cool, damp, soft
lips against his ear at the precise moment he turned his head to say something about
a case. Nerve endings sizzled and popped
at the feel of it. His name was spoken in a voice rich with a timbre he had never
heard used before: a rough edge that spoke of
forbidden intimacies without saying the words. A blush of surprise warmed and
colored his cheeks. He strove to collect his
thoughts, but was rendered powerless as they scattered to the four corners of his
cluttered office at the first sensation of warm
breath on his neck and the flick of a well placed tongue.
Mulder completed the turn of his head, met a completely intent gaze. Where did
that come from? What are you doing? He
questioned silently with impassioned and wary eyes. He looked for a clue, a sign of
what was happening, of what was to come
next. He found the answers in eyes that looked not just at him but deeply into him.
You know what I'm doing... we both want
this. We've wanted it for years. We'll wait no longer. I'll wait no longer.
A chaste kiss on the lips left Mulder feeling as if he had been burned by an unseen
ember; a gasp escaped before he knew he
had uttered a sound. He tried to reassemble his thoughts from their tiny shards,
chiding himself. Breathe you idiot before you
pass out.
"Tell me to stop Mulder. Tell me to stop and I will. Do you want me to stop? Say the
word... say 'stop', and I will."
Mulder heard the taunting words, watched as the mouth moved and the lips shaped
themselves to form the syllables. He saw
the dusky red tongue slip from between already dampened lips and slick over them
again. He caught a fleeting glimpse of
perfectly even pristine small white teeth. He closed his eyes and allowed his
imagination to kick into merciless overdrive. He
wanted those lips and tongue and teeth.
He wanted them everywhere; seeking out private spots, sucking and biting, licking
and kissing. He re opened his eyes and
looked into the cool steady gaze of his partner's knowing eyes. Every one of his
illicit, dark, buried so deep he never thought
they would see the light of day emotions and fantasies bubbled like lava. They
seethed just under the surface of his composure;
then he very recklessly allowed them the freedom they demanded.
"No... I don't want you to stop." OhmygoddidIjustsaythat? No... I couldn't have.
Mulder looked down as competent fingers tugged at the loose knot of his tie and
slowly pulled it through the collar of his used
to be crisp white shirt. His eyes followed his favorite paisley tie to its new home on
the office floor amidst the paper clips and
sunflower seed hulls, then returned to watch as capable fingers worked at their task.
Buttons, one by one, slipped through their
respective holes with agonizing slowness. He reluctantly stopped the action with the
touch of his finger on the moist parted
lips that hovered close to his, forcing eye contact.
Mulder nearly succumbed to the temptation to allow the seduction to just continue
as their darkened eyes held and locked on
one another. He tore his gaze away and looked around the office. This basement
was their sanctuary: kept free from the prying
eyes and listening ears. It hadn't always been that way, but now it was safe,
sheltered. He was kept so carefully protected from
everything except the person put here to help him.
Mulder looked back to patient unwavering eyes: they held the key. They held the
secret, they always had. They were speaking
to him. Who would know? Who would care? Does it matter anymore? Who are we
trying to kid anyway? Ourselves? We never
fooled each other. Not ever. Even at the worst of times, through the betrayals and
the hopelessness, we always knew the truth.
It was there right from the start. We just had to find it. And it's safe now... safer.
"Wait... please... just wait a minute." Mulder found his voice again. He knew he was
speaking, he just didn't know how he had
managed to overcome the scraping dryness in his throat. He pulled his voice from
the depths where it had been buried and
forced it to work, to say words he didn't want to say but had to all the same.
"Not here. My place... your place... anywhere... just not here. It'll never be as safe
as you want, as safe as you may think."
"Mulder, I'm telling you it's okay, no one will bother us." A deep sigh of
exasperation followed by soothing, placating words.
"Fine, if you'll feel better somewhere else, so be it. I've waited this long I guess I can
wait another half an hour. But I'm warning
you Mulder, if this is a tease I'll make you rue the day you met me. I can torture you
in ways you haven't even imagined yet.
This is it, no more games, no more innuendoes; culmination. I want it, you want it,
end of story. Come on, let's get out of here."
Mulder felt himself simultaneously tense and relax. Oh God, here it is, the moment
of truth.
"Mul'der. Are you coming or not?" Another taunt, deftly disguised as a question.
Mulder bit his tongue and shook his head slightly. God... what a question! He
grabbed his jacket and made his way out the
door on the heels of his tormentor. They walked at a sedate pace to the elevator and
waited for the doors to part. Once inside
the empty elevator Mulder turned to say something but his words were cut off
before they left his mouth.
Caught off guard, the kiss was fast and intense and left Mulder breathless and
reeling where he stood. His thoughts screamed in
his head. Oh God help me, I'm never going to make it to my car. I'm not even going
to get out of this box in one piece. I'm...
A shrill chirp pulled him back from complete panic, though a slight tremble was
evident in his hand as he reached into his jacket
pocket and pulled out his phone. His eyes never left the composed face in front of
him.
"Mulder." That's reassuring, he thought, at least my voice still works.
"Mulder, it's me. I wanted to remind you that we have that meeting Monday
morning at nine thirty with the team from
Forensics. Make sure Krycek remembers too okay? We want to go over this stuff
once with everyone together."
"Yeah, sure thing. Have a good weekend and I'll see you Monday."
"You too Mulder."
Mulder shut off the phone, took a slow deep breath and looked into questioning
eyes. "Scully asked me to remind you that we
have a nine thirty meeting on Monday morning."
A half smile made its way across Alex Krycek's otherwise impassive face, closely
followed by a quiet chuckle. "I'll keep it in
mind." A slight lift of his head to re enforce the acknowledgment. His eyes searched
out Mulder's for a brief moment before he
spoke again.
"Look, Mulder, if you're having second thoughts I—"
The door of the elevator opened onto the ground floor of the JEH. Agents moved in
almost choreographed patterns, trying to
finish up last minute details before the blessed break of the weekend. Exiting the
elevator Mulder turned and looked back at
Krycek.
"I'm... I'm just... I'm not..." Oh great. I'm stuttering like a school kid on a first date.
The perverse irony of that thought struck
Mulder as comical but he stifled the urge to laugh and opted for the more direct
approach. Pulling in a steadying breath he
continued quietly, almost painstakingly. "Krycek... Alex, listen, all the education in
the world would have never prepared me
for this... ah... let's call it a moment shall we? I want this, at least I think I do, I'm
just a little..." Mulder paused and
searched for exactly the right word to convey what he was thinking. Finding none,
he let the empty air speak for him.
Krycek looked at Mulder and decided it was time to play hardball.
"Don't you think I know you're uncomfortable? I could apologize but I'm really not
sorry. This whole thing has been building
for so long it had to break sooner or later. You know I'm right. The fact that you
didn't try to deck me means you weren't all
that uncomfortable with the attention and everything it implied. You didn't stop me
Mulder. As I recall it was just the
opposite, you said you didn't want me to stop. Now make a choice and stick with it."
Bam! Okay Mulder, it's in your court
now.
Mulder looked at Krycek as if he were truly seeing him for the first time. He cast a
fleeting, almost fearful glance around the
entrance hall, but none of the other agents were paying the slightest bit of attention.
Mulder relaxed, looked Krycek straight in
the eyes and gave a nearly imperceptible nod of his head. Krycek caught the motion
and thought, yes, get it set up now before
he changes his mind.
"You know where I live... go there. Don't go home first, don't stop to pick up pizza
or anything else, just go to my place. At
the very least we can try to work through this, one way or another. Go, I'll be right
on your tail within five minutes. I have to
go upstairs and tell them we're leaving. God forbid they not be made aware of your
every move."
Mulder gave another nod, more decisive this time and offered what could almost
pass as a smile. Krycek turned and walked
confidently away; had he looked back he would have been somewhat startled by
the fact that Mulder's eyes never left him.
Krycek quietly entered one of the back offices on the second floor. Before he spoke
he surveyed the two men who were busy
sorting through files and folders, trying to assign some semblance of order before
the workday officially ended. The two desks
in the office were covered in paperwork. Sticky notes adorned desk lights and
telephones. It struck him as a fine example of
organized chaos. The doorway into the side office was closed, so he couldn't see the
little sanctuary of order and minimalism
Dana Scully had set up next door to this paper jungle.
"Hey."
"Hey Krycek. What's up? Quitting time already? I hardly noticed." A young man
with close cut dark hair, leaning over the desk
closest to the door greeted him, voice tinged with good natured sarcasm while he
offered up an honest smile.
"Yeah I know Brenton, it's a tough job but someone has to do it and apparently
you drew the short one this week." The
remark elicited a quick sharp laugh. "Mulder and I are out of here till Monday. Have
a good weekend and tell the boss we've
left, okay?"
"Okay, give me a minute and I'll be right out."
"Uh... no, Mulder will be fine. He doesn't need cover."
"Excuse me?" Drawled the expensively suited blond haired young man by the file
cabinets.
"What, hard of hearing Davis? I said he'll be fine."
"Really?" There was more humor than disbelief in Fairland Davis's honeyed
southern voice.
Krycek closed his eyes and shook his head. Fuck, c'mon guys not now I'm in a
hurry. "He'll be with me." Okay, he thought,
let's hear it.
"Ohh." It wasn't so much the actual word that got Krycek, it was the way Davis said
it. His tone made the solitary word long
and suggestive and all too knowing.
"Oh gimme a break, will you? Just let him know." Krycek's voice was laced with
something approaching but not quite reaching
annoyance. He tried chewing back a smile but failed. A lopsided grin split his
handsome features. If there's a God, He's going to
let me out of this office without further conversation.
"Let me know what? I assume you're speaking about me," the tall broad
shouldered man questioned as he came out from the
side office, pulling the door closed behind him again, crossed to Davis's desk and sat
down. Once seated, Christian Dubretsky
looked up and patiently waited for an answer.
Shit, so much for blind faith in the unseen deity, thought Krycek. His grin turned to
a tight sardonic smile. "Mulder's leaving for
the weekend and there's no need for security cover. We're all set. I just wanted to let
you know." Krycek said the words with
mechanical ease but implored with his eyes... please don't make a big thing out of
this. The silent appeal, while duly noted and
considered, had to be refused.
"We? You're saying 'we' as if you two were joined at the hip. Or am I just not
hearing this correctly?" Dubretsky tactfully
ignored the muffled laughter from opposite corners of the office. Krycek heard the
concern in his supervisor's voice rather than
seeing it in his weathered face.
"Yes, 'we'. Mulder and I. He'll be with me." Oh man here it comes, he thought, I can
feel it.
"With you." Dubretsky's tone was a cool request for confirmation, not a request for
clarification.
"Eh... yeah. Look, I hate to cut and run but he's on his way to his car and I want to
keep up with him." Nice phrasing, next
time think before you speak and you won't walk yourself into that.
"Oh I'll just bet." A disembodied drawl from the direction of the file cabinets.
"I really would have been so disappointed if you hadn't said that." Krycek took
refuge from Dubretsky's merciless gaze by
returning Davis's banter, trying with only marginal success to keep the laughter out
of his voice.
"Play nice children." Dubretsky's mild comment sounded harmless enough but
Davis knew to back off and leave Krycek to
converse quietly with his supervisor. Krycek sat on the corner of the desk and
steeled himself for the inevitable. He didn't have
to long wait.
"Listen up Alex because we're going to have this conversation one time and one
time only. I don't want to know what you're up
to so don't tell me. But I expect you to use your head and some caution. Don't back
me into a corner on this; friendship aside,
I'm still your supervisor. Don't force me to act like one on this particular matter. For
both our sakes, use good judgment."
"I intend to." Krycek looked at Dubretsky, willing him to sense Krycek's own
determination. I can make this come out right,
given half a chance. He searched Dubretsky's face for some hint of acceptance and
found it in a gray hazel gaze that stared right
into him. A slight gentle smile of resignation that added more crinkling to the web
work around the eyes. Krycek held the other
man's look, made the silent promise necessary for Dubretsky's peace of mind.
Dubretsky nodded, made a good humored gesture of dismissal.
"Go on, get out of here. And don't forget you're expected to go to -"
"The meeting on Monday morning. I won't." Krycek smiled his thanks, closed his
eyes for a second and offered a quick silent
apology. I take it back God, you're alright in my book. "Have a good weekend
gentlemen." Krycek tossed the words to the
other two men, then he was out the door and headed for the parking garage.
While Krycek was explaining his way out of the second floor office, Mulder was in
the garage headed toward his car. He
shrugged off his suit jacket and tossed it in the backseat, climbed in, made his six one
frame as comfortable as possible and
started the car. Deftly he eased out into the late afternoon traffic using his left hand
to drive and his right hand to rummage
through a box of tapes by the driver's side. He found one he recognized by the
crack in the case rather than by looking at the
title.
He slipped the tape into the deck and sank down a little lower in the driver's seat,
needlessly adjusted the rear and side view
mirrors and let the sound of a blues guitar provide the background music for his
thoughts.
God I'm an asshole! Yeah but for which reason? Because I'm doing this or because I
want to do this? Of course when you
think about it, what difference does it make, either way I'm an asshole.
Do I really want to open myself up to this kind of pain again? Think of the so called
relationships that have crashed and
burned. Gay and straight. Why should this be any different? I clearly remember
those empty little hand job sessions back in
college, most of which only served to point out how young and stupid I was. The
only good that came out of those was to let
me know exactly which side of the fence I sat on and a lot of good that did me—shit,
I ignored it anyway.
Oh yeah and let's not forget the meaningful mindfucks with Phoebe. This is not a
good idea, I should just turn off and head
home before I do something I'm going to seriously regret later. I should... but I
won't. There's just something about him. I didn't
see it before... okay... I did but I ignored it. Tried to ignore it. Have I been sending
out subliminal signals or something? I've
tried to keep this so far under wraps I thought I'd need a backhoe to unearth it, and
here he just up and starts with this shit!
What the hell was that all about anyway? That whole act in the office and then the
elevator. Was he just yanking my chain or
does he really want this to happen? If I had said 'no' what would his reaction have
been? Would he have cared? What the hell
am I doing? This isn't going to work. This shouldn't even happen.
Mulder caught his own reflection in the rear view mirror. His skin was flushed, his
eyes were shining and as he watched the
beginnings of a smile turned the corners of his mouth upward. He knew the reason
and accepted it as gracefully as possible.
Then he did the only thing he could do. He turned clinical on himself.
Okay, time to straighten up and fly right, he told himself severely. Stop screwing
around and deal with this. Alex Krycek is a
beautiful specimen of a man. You're attracted to him in ways you never dreamed
possible; and you always have been. Before all
of the shit you were attracted to him and as much as it sticks in your craw, you were
attracted to him after all of the shit too.
You just couldn't admit it and rightly so; you were too busy hating him for all you
believed he had done and he was too busy
trying to keep your ungrateful ass in one piece.
Remember how you felt when you first found out that juicy bit of information? The
real feelings you had, after all of the anger
and resentment and ingratitude. The hopeful prospect that you weren't completely
crazy to feel the way you did about him,
but you still didn't want to feel that way. Remember what it did to you? You almost
came unglued it bugged you so bad. The
truth will set you free but it'll also hurt like hell. Still you tried valiantly to ignore it,
just like you're trying to now. So maybe
it's time to recognize these feelings for what they are. Apparently Krycek already
has.
So... admit it. Right, I can do that. How tough is it? Just say it: 'I want him'. There
I've admitted it to myself. First step of any
twelve step program. It's out in the open. Okay not quite; nobody heard me so it
probably doesn't count. I did admit it to
myself though and that has to mean something. Screw it. I'm not going to feel guilty
about this either. I've spent my life feeling
guilty about one damn thing or another, and when if I couldn't find something,
there was always someone else who could. Well,
no more...
Oblivious to everything but the music on the tapedeck and the voice in his head
Mulder drove north through the Friday evening
traffic. Twenty minutes later he pulled in across the street from Krycek's apartment
building. Krycek didn't live in the greatest
spot in town but Mulder had seen worse.
The amusement arcade on one side of the building was doing steady business, but
the budget travel agent on the other was
closed up for the evening. People drove by shooting icy glares at Mulder for sitting
in a parked car while they frantically
searched for a parking place to call their own. Tired of sitting and more than a little
antsy, he got out to stretch his legs. He
wandered across the street and stood on the entrance steps of the apartment
building to watch the rest of the world hurry by
around him.
Krycek was on the road within the promised five minutes. He let his thoughts
wander while he drove north through the heavy
traffic. I've got him and it's going to happen come hell or high water. I saw the look
in his eyes. He wants this, I know it, I can
feel it. I've always known that this would happen, right from the getgo. I've been
thinking about this since the first time I saw
him. He has too, he just couldn't admit that.
Not that I blame him or anything. It was an awfully bitter pill for him to swallow.
Having felt that first attraction, and then
thinking that I had betrayed him, that I was his enemy... then having it all turned
around again, suddenly I'm the good guy
again. I think it was harder for him to accept me a second time. Scully still isn't
convinced; she doesn't really trust me. I don't
think she much likes me: Scully has black and white standards, I operate in the gray
area too much for her liking. Gotta wonder
how she's going to react to all of this. Krycek smiled at that thought and turned
onto a side street and came face to face with a
traffic jam.
Fuck... now what?! No! Stupid ass trucker. Where are your fucking brains? No one
backs up to get out of an alley. Oh
Christ... look at this mess. Mulder's gonna be sitting there waiting and talking
himself right out of what he really wants to do
and talking himself into something he feels is more palatable while I'm stuck in this
nightmare. This is absolutely unacceptable,
either it clears up in three minutes or I ditch the car and walk.
I have to take this slow for his sake. I know he hasn't had a relationship in a dog's
age and I'm not even sure he's ever had one
with another man. This could be difficult for him, he may not really want to admit to
the attraction. That damned New England
upbringing and all—no, strike that, it has nothing to do with where he grew up just
how he grew up. I'll have to start with
something slow, get him used to the idea, make him comfortable. Then nail him.
Finally the traffic began to crawl again and soon enough Krycek was turning down
his street. He pulled in one car back from
Mulder's parked car, into a freshly vacated space. He got out and walked up to the
driver's side of Mulder's car, smiling, ready
to say something humorous and encouraging. In the space of a heartbeat he lost the
inviting thought that had been occupying
his mind. The car was empty.
Krycek's eyes darted quickly up the street and back down. Too many people to get
a clear sight. He slowly pulled himself back
from the car with his gun hand close to his holster and tried to tamp down the rising
panic. Shit! He's gone! Oh fuck where is
he? I called off the tail myself. I said he'd be safe. Where the hell is he? How close
could they have been? What was I...
He cut off the rising panic, stopped to think for a second, pulled out his cell phone
and dialed a number. Please answer, please
be at the corner store buying a paper, please be somewhere near but please answer
the fucking phone! All it took was one ring
and the sound of his voice to make Krycek's heart begin to slow down to a
somewhat reasonable pace; for his mind to stop
scrambling forwards into worse case scenarios.
"Mulder."
Okay... this is better, he sounds just fine. "Mulder where the fuck are you?"
"I'm pacing the hall in front of your—"
Krycek slapped the phone shut cutting off the rest of the sentence and took off
across the street to his building. He took the
short flight of steps two at a time and jammed the key into the lock so forcefully
that it nearly snapped in half. He jerked the
key to the right and pulled the door and his key simultaneously. He headed to the
stairs and made the five stories in less time
than it would have taken the antiquated elevator to descend to the first floor and
open its heavy doors.
He reached the top of the stairs and saw Mulder across the landing wearing an
imaginary path in front of Krycek's doorway.
His head was down and Krycek swore he could almost hear him muttering. Krycek
forced himself to walk at a normal pace to
his door while he thought of various and sundry ways he would like to physically
make Mulder understand the severity of his
actions. He tossed Mulder a look that would freeze hell, unlocked his door and
motioned for him to enter. Mulder stood before
the open apartment door and unconsciously held his breath.
"Well... don't stand on ceremony Mulder, go on in." Krycek calmly followed Mulder
in and locked the door with the simple
deadbolt. However as soon as he turned away from the door, all of his anger and
fear seized his heart and head again. He moved
with catlike agility and caught Mulder off guard. Krycek forced his back up against
the wall, barely suppressed anger raging in
him, grinding out his words in a slow hiss.
"Don't ever, ever, do that again Mulder! Never. Don't ever underestimate their
ability or overestimate ours. What possessed
you to get out? Couldn't you have just waited for a few minutes? Listened to the
radio or something? Do you have any idea
what went through my head when I pulled up behind your empty car and you
were no where to be found? I thought they'd
got to you, and I knew that if they had I was responsible, because that's the job I
signed on for. I don't do guilt well, not at
all, and I'll be damned if I'm going to start trying to learn it now just because of you!
How the fuck did you get up here?"
Krycek abruptly released his tight grip on Mulder's coat and shoulders and waited
for the defiant response. Mulder didn't move
a centimeter from his spot. Krycek listened to the shallow breathing and took a
good look at the muddy hazel eyes. What he
saw was real fear, it shook him hard and he tried to regain his control of the
situation.
Oh fuck, this is no good. We're heading into the same argument we have in the
office, but Mulder doesn't have his work persona
to protect him. I started this, I asked him here, he trusted me enough to come here.
Now look, he's got that 'deer in the
headlight' look. This is not how I wanted tonight to go. Gotta treat him with kid
gloves, he's right on the edge and nothing more
than a breath is going to send him over. No sense in scaring him to death.
"You didn't answer me. How did you get up here?"
Krycek changed his tone, softened the edge to it, quieted the words down. He made
them a little more caring, a little more
feeling, less angry, less frustrated.
Mulder looked at him with wary narrow eyes. Unsure of how to proceed, he spoke
in a hushed halting voice.
"One of your neighbors offered to let me in... this isn't exactly a high security
building you know. I'm sorry, I didn't think. I'm
still not used to it making a difference, where I am, who I'm with and all that. I'm
really sorry." The softly spoken words
echoed with true contrition. Krycek looked at him and something in his own intense
gaze softened, he shook his head slightly in
a show of mild exasperation. Damn it, when will you understand? He questioned
with his eyes instead of words knowing he
wouldn't get an answer.
"It always mattered. Even when it didn't show."
Mulder dipped his head in mute comprehension.
"You just need to get used to being the center of attention, that's all."
"I guess so." Mulder's soft chuckle was a welcome sound.
"Alright, crisis over, no more meltdowns tonight. At least not like that, okay?" A
measured beat. Krycek couldn't resist tossing
in the double entendre, just to be sure Mulder was paying attention. "You want a
beer Mulder?"
"Yeah I could go for that right now." Quiet and shaky, more breath than voice.
Mulder was indeed paying attention.
"Well you know where the fridge is, help yourself. I just want to check messages."
Mulder made his way into the small narrow kitchen. The bright white of the ceiling
and woodwork accented the pale sea green
of the freshly painted walls. He opened the refrigerator door and was surprised to
see fresh food inside. Real food, not
something that came from the Chinese restaurant across the street. Sliced deli meat
and cheese, bread, milk and eggs. The six
pack of beer was on the bottom shelf nestled next to the head of lettuce.
Grabbing two bottles and foregoing glassware Mulder walked out of the kitchen
down the tiny hallway into the living room,
which wasn't a good deal larger than the kitchen. Mulder stepped around the low,
plain glass topped coffee table, dropped
down onto the low deep comfortable couch and considered the enormous
patchwork quilt that covered its plain calico
upholstery. Staring at, but not truly seeing, the many shades of blue, green and rust.
He leaned his head back, closed his eyes
and let his mind wander.
Okay, you're here. What's it going to be? You can back out. He'll no doubt be really
pissed but you can still stop this whole
thing before it goes too far. He said to come here so 'we could work through this
thing', exact quote. That doesn't necessarily
mean... oh you idiot, of course it does, what else would it mean? You played this
out scene for scene on the trip over here. Just
let it happen and be done with it. You know this is what you want. Stop hiding.
"Are you going to let me have one of those or do you think you might need them
both?" A gentle question, asked in a soft
voice.
Mulder opened his eyes and looked up at Krycek standing right in front of him. This
Krycek was more relaxed than the one he
had seen a few minutes before. Gone were the tie and jacket as well as the shoulder
holster and gun. Shirt sleeves rolled to just
below the elbow to expose the tanned skin of his wrists and forearms, dark silky
hair on the outer sides, a map of veins and
tendons that stood out in relief against the inner sides. Loose fitting suit pants
covered his long powerful legs.
Mulder's gaze traveled up the hidden rock hard muscles of abdomen and pectorals
to the exposed skin of Krycek's neck just
inside the collar of the silver gray dress shirt. He saw the notch at the base of the
throat and off to the side, known without
being seen, the pulse that beat the rhythm of his heart.
Mulder allowed himself to scan Krycek's face, to take in the finely molded features:
small short nose, high cheekbones, sharp
chin. Mouth cut into his face with such careful precision, lips, which when parted
allowed a glimpse of even white teeth and a
soft dusty red tongue. Close cut dark mahogany hair that covered yet outlined his
skull. Quite a package when it was all put
together. Mulder finally allowed himself to look at the eyes.
The things those eyes had seen. Seen others looking back at him and recognize the
certainty of their own deaths. Seen the last
flares of fear or defiance or acceptance. Those eyes had watched him once, with an
alien gaze. Deep clear aquamarine
kaleidoscope eyes. Long black lashes, finely arched brows, and oh sweet Jesus,
they're focused on me again. This time the look
was all too human.
A slow tentative smile spread over Mulder's lips as he silently handed off one of the
bottles. A matching one worked its way
over Krycek's as he accepted the offering and sat down on the couch.
"So... you want to talk about this?" Mulder voice was steady and quiet.
"We can, but I really think we both know why we're sitting here. The ball's in your
court Mulder, I'm not going to force you to
do anything you don't want to do. That's not my idea of fun. It has to come from
you; I already know where I stand, what I
want, who I want."
"I need to know something Alex. Why did you pull that stunt in the office today? I
mean, why today?"
"Why not today? Would Monday have been better? Maybe a phone call over the
weekend?" Krycek's soft laughter broke
Mulder's tense concentration, made him smile very faintly too. "To answer your
question, I don't know 'why today'? It just
seemed like a good time. In all honesty, you looked good, really good. Usually I
have more self control. Today I didn't want to
have self control. Do you want me to describe to you in vivid detail what I wanted
to do to you in that office?" The question
was asked with a straight face but laughing eyes.
"No..." Mulder's refusal was a wide eyed shivering breath.
For a moment they sat on that deep low couch facing each other in electrically
charged silence. Neither one dared to break the
stare. Neither one was sure of what to say next.
Mulder dug a fingernail at the slick cold paper label of the beer bottle. He lowered
his eyes, looked back at Krycek and made his
choice.
"I want you to show me."
"Say it again Mulder. I want you to be absolutely sure because I know I am." Oh
yeah... let me hear those words again.
Mulder shifted from his spot and leaned toward Krycek. "I said 'I want you to show
me'." Stop shaking damn it, he can hear it
in your voice, keep going, get it all out before you change your mind.
"Shit, Alex, I don't know a great deal about this kind of relationship. The best I ever
did with a man was a few quick and
clumsy hand jobs when I was in college. They weren't the most satisfying
experiences I've ever had but they were enough to
make me wonder about myself. To be honest, I'd been wondering about myself for
a while, even before then. I wasn't ready to
deal with it, so I chose to ignore it... I had to ignore it. If that had gotten back home... Jesus what a little horror show that
would have been: one more thing, yet another reason for them to hate me. Instead I
got into a hideously warped relationship
with a woman and after her I didn't care if I ever had a lover again... male or
female. This is a whole different ball game for me.
I'm a little nervous."
Krycek was listening to Mulder, not so much to the words—he knew far more about
Mulder's past than Mulder realized; he
was listening to what could only be described as raw pain in the sound of his quiet
faltering voice. It was the voice of someone
coming to grips with private demons and baring them to the light, admitting to the
hurt, the insecurity and personal anguish.
It must have been living hell, Krycek silently conceded. All of that uncertainty and
no one to talk to. Questions that demanded
answers and no one to give them. The very people you needed to give you support
were the ones you couldn't turn to: they
blamed you for their own sins, blamed you for becoming what they made you. And
in the middle of it all, you were trying to
make sense of something as ephemeral as your own sexuality. All that emptiness
and loneliness. The misguided notion that you
would be better off alone rather than let anyone near you again because the pain
was just too much to endure.
"Okay, it's okay now. I'm not asking you to forget; I don't think you can, it's a part
of you. I'm asking you to take just one
more chance." Krycek, almost intoxicated by the heady sense of Mulder's
vulnerability, hardly lifted his husky voice above a
whisper. But the intensity in his eyes captured Mulder and very nearly hypnotized
him.
Mulder was lulled by the serene calm sea shades of green and blue; his lips parted
for a moment as if to speak then closed again,
sealing any sound inside before it escaped. Krycek took the bottle from Mulder's
hands and placed it on the table alongside his
own. Tentatively he leaned forward and lightly touched the sensitive skin outlining
Mulder's mouth with the ball of his finger.
He felt the warm moist breath as it was exhaled. He drew slow lazy circles over and
around the lips and saw them part at his
touch.
"Sshh, no words," he whispered laying his fingers momentarily over Mulder's lips.
Just let me touch you like this, soft and
slow. I won't hurt you, not like the others did. I won't laugh at your insecurities. I
won't rip your heart out and hand it to you
still beating; and as much, as much as I would dearly love to, I won't push you.
Mesmerized, Mulder felt heat flare into existence not only at the exquisite touch of
Krycek's tapered fingers, but at the promise
of things to come. He could do nothing to stop his eyes from closing, revelling in the
ethereal touch. A thumb and forefinger
hooked onto Mulder's chin, dragging gently down, parting his lips even more. The
featherlike caress around his mouth was
having an almost narcotic effect on him; his eyes opened but he couldn't quite will
them to focus.
Krycek leaned in even more and placed his lips at the corner of Mulder's mouth. He
repeated the kiss on the other corner and
pulled back slightly to look for some kind of approbation. Finding what he needed
in the lazy eyes, he continued to lay soft
warm kisses about the tender skin. Finally when he could stand it no longer, he
trapped the full lipped mouth with his own. Oh
God, the elevator was just a tease but oh yes, this one was worth waiting for—as if
there had been any doubt. Mulder you do
taste as good as you look.
Krycek's kiss was as light as his touch. His lips were cool but warmed quickly and
plied just enough pressure to make an
impact. He slowly pulled and nipped at the parted lips. He stroked them with his
tongue and turned them slick. He slid his
tongue into the waiting mouth and instantly fell in love with the feel of it, the taste
of it. He wanted to memorize it for all time.
He roamed every corner and crevice of that mouth, sliding along teeth and tongue
and cheek. He was thorough in his kiss: he
wanted in some way to own this mouth, he wanted Mulder to remember this kiss,
to compare all others with it. He left his soul
in there. He brought his hands up to caress the sides of Mulder's face as if to smooth
away whatever fear may have still been
lingering and thought, relax baby, it's going to be just fine.
Time as Mulder knew and understood it stood still. His breathing stopped; not in
fear as was normally the case throughout
most of his life but in awe. The fascination that Krycek's mouth felt so good so right
and fit so well over his own. This kiss
was different from the harsh one in the elevator: more restrained, softer, sweeter.
He had never kissed a man before today. He
had never wanted to, even at the height of his experimentation. The feel of Krycek's
tongue was more potent than he had
expected, not overpowering, but somehow stronger. A kind of reticent force.
Mulder started to breath again, let himself sink
into the warmth that was starting to envelop him. He felt a smile play over his
tingling lips. Alex has a romantic side, who
would have guessed?
Krycek felt the subtle difference and reluctantly broke the kiss. He looked at
Mulder, saw how the haunted look that generally
inhabited those hazel eyes was missing, replaced by a kind of amused serenity. It
surprised as well as pleased him. Well what
do you know... I did that. A genuine smile lit up his finely sculpted features.
"Okay?" He asked so much with one quiet word, waited for what seemed a lifetime
for an answer. Come on, you've got to tell
me, he thought. We'll do this nice and slow. Step by step, even if it takes all night.
And I sincerely hope it does.
"Yeah... okay." Mulder seemed genuinely surprised that he could breathe, much less
form and speak rational words. Krycek
stood up and extended his hand. Mulder looked from the open palm to Krycek's
face and back. "What?" Oh shit, he thought,
you're an Oxford grad for God's sake, what kind of stupid question was that?
"Well I know you're used to sleeping on a couch and as comfortable as that couch is... I think we should move this
conversation to the bedroom. Come on, it's time you started to learn about the finer
things in life. Like beds."
Mulder summoned up every ounce of courage and placed his hand in the open
palm. Time to cross the bridge. Krycek pulled
him up onto his feet. They walked in silence to the bedroom, stopping only once for
another kiss. Krycek needed that kiss. He
needed to taste again that mouth he had tasted only a few minutes before; he
needed to know it was real, that the memory of it
was accurate. It was.
This kiss rocked them both. It was deeper harder almost bruising in its force, strong
fingers entwined each other palm to palm,
arms lifting. Krycek pinned Mulder against the hallway wall and instinctively leaned
in, craving a touch that could be only
dimly had through the layers of clothing they both wore. He ground his pelvis into
Mulder's, then suddenly backed off. I can't
do this, I can't scare him, he thought.
Not yet, but soon. Identical thoughts paved the way for opposite reactions. Their
eyes locked once more. One set flashed
brightly with excited apprehension, the other gleamed with greedy anticipation.
He's so scared and I want him so badly it's criminal. God help me to have the
strength to do this right, to make it good for him,
to make him want it again and again. Don't let me hurt him, because I know I can,
and I'm afraid that maybe I want to.
Mulder's thoughts were more pedestrian. Just keep breathing, no sense in passing
out before you get to the good parts.
Krycek broke contact first and gently pulled Mulder into the bedroom then stood a
few feet behind him, just soaking up the
sight of Fox Mulder standing in his bedroom. Mulder was struck by the size of the
room, it was almost twice the space of the
living room. The walls, woodwork and curtains were all white; the usual furniture:
plain oak wardrobe and chest of drawers, a
good sized set of bookshelves, boxes of books that had yet to be placed, a low table,
and a low bed. Oddly low, covered by a
quilt with a blue and white striped ticking cover.
"Why is your bed so damn low? Your knees must be up around your chin when
you sit down." Mulder turned slightly to look
back at Krycek.
"It has its advantages." Krycek's finely arched left eyebrow reached a higher level.
His cool mouth fought a losing battle not to
smirk. He allowed his thoughts the pleasure of wandering away for a moment.
Want me to show you why it's so low? I'll bet I
can have you begging in no time, with me on my knees and you right in front of me
bent... Krycek snapped a leash on his
runaway thoughts.
While the apparent usefulness of a low bed was lost on Mulder the tone Krycek had
used was not. A small shiver ran through
his body. He felt Krycek step close behind him, didn't even have to turn his head to
know. He could smell the soap Krycek
used, the cologne... was it cologne or was it just him? A faint almond scent.
Another shiver that couldn't be suppressed this
time, racking him delicately from head to foot.
"You alright?" Krycek's warm breath tickled his ear and was lost before Mulder had
the chance to truly enjoy the sensation.
"Yeah, I'm fine." If I could just stop shaking, he thought. He started to turn, to face
Krycek, but the motion was stopped before
it was fully played through.
"No... stay like that." Krycek's words were quiet in Mulder's ear. He felt the warm
breath caress the skin on his nape raising
the fine hairs. More shivers. Long elegant fingers snaked around Mulder's neck then
slid down his chest to find the flat nipples.
Mulder made a small noise somewhere in the back of his throat and brought his
hands up to cover Krycek's.
"No, put them down. I want to do this my way." The words, caught somewhere
between a request and an order, tickled at the
edges of Mulder's mind. Mulder dropped his hands to his side and clenched his fists
tightly in an effort to keep them still.
Krycek's hands moved back to the shirt front again. He knew he had hit his mark
when he heard Mulder's breathing change,
catching in his throat. He used petal soft touches to bring both nipples to life under
the two layers of cotton clothing. He
pinched and stroked until Mulder arched forward to meet his touch. Good, good,
you like that, don't you? Let's see what else
you like.
Krycek's fingers strayed back to up to the collar to return to the task they had
started almost an hour ago in the office. Slowly
they trailed down the front of the placket popping the buttons through the holes,
one by one. Through it all Krycek kissed and
sucked the skin on the left side of Mulder's exposed neck. Every other button he
stopped and reached up with his teeth to trap
the earlobe. He used light nips with teasing flicks in and around the ear then moved
back down to the soft warm skin of
Mulder's neck once again.
Delicious warm tingling sensations flooded Mulder's body and he felt his cock start
to swell. He started to relax and leaned back
against the strong warm shoulder that shadowed his own. He tipped his head to the
side and was rewarded with more electric
sensations as the cool insatiable mouth lowered into the space between the neck and
shoulder and left wet warm kisses in its
wake.
When he reached the waistband of the light woolen trousers Krycek stopped and
pulled Mulder around to face him. Never
breaking eye contact, his hands slowly tugged the shirt front from the trousers and
continued to unbutton it. A few stray
threads tangled around the lowest button, catching and holding it firmly in place.
"Shit, it's stuck," Krycek cursed softly then smiled. It wasn't the words that
compelled Mulder to notice what was happening
but the look in Krycek's eyes. He saw a hard edge in them that hadn't been there
before. His body coiled slightly as he waited
for the unknown.
"Mulder, do you send your shirts out to a laundry with a seamstress?" Krycek's long
slender fingers were taking up a fold at
each side of the offending button.
"Yeah... why?" Mulder was getting utterly confused.
"I just wanted to make sure you had someone who would take care of this." Krycek
yanked both sides of the shirt front apart
hard and fast. The button flew to parts unknown. Well, it's unbuttoned now, Krycek
thought. Let's see what kind of damage I
did to him.
Mulder had flinched and sucked in a quick breath through clenched teeth. Now he
stared at Krycek with a mixture of not quite
alarm and very definite desire. The heat in his balls and cock ignited a fire that had
been dormant for too long. He felt it course
through his body, raise a blush to his cheeks and then re center itself back in his
groin. His eyes widened, the hair on the back of
his neck prickled and his heart couldn't keep a proper rhythm. He looked at Krycek
with mute surprise.
"Sorry," Krycek said, though it wasn't clear whether he was apologizing for the
damage to Mulder's shirt or to Mulder's
composure. You are not sorry, he told himself, but you should be.
"Don't be." Mulder's voice was a ragged whisper. I liked it, he silently added, more
than I should. A little danger is good for the
soul and you are certainly more than a little dangerous.
Krycek acknowledged the remark with a cocked brow and tucked it away for later
use. He pushed the shirt off Mulder's
shoulders, drew it down over his arms and let it glide onto the floor in a puddle of
white cotton. He saw the rise and fall of the
lightly muscled chest, took in the sight of small hard nipples perfectly molded under
the soft cotton t shirt. His eyes trailed
down the plane of the tight abdomen and saw the start of what could only be a
beautiful erection. Oh yes, look at that. Bet it's
good enough to eat. Krycek couldn't help but smile.
Mulder watched Krycek watch him. He wanted to speak but found no words to say.
He let his body speak in his place as he
felt his erection grow stronger. He slowly raised his arms to touch the finely honed
face before him only to have his hands
gently held back.
"Uh uh... not yet. Let's get some more of your clothes off first."
"It would go a lot faster if you let me help."
"You're right, it would. But it wouldn't be nearly as much fun. If you feel like doing
something, kick off your shoes and socks.
By the time I get your pants down I'm not really going to care what's on your feet.
Then try to behave and keep your hands to
yourself."
Mulder toed off his shoes then stopped while bone chilling insecurities reared their
ugly heads. This is it. Can I handle this? It's
been a long time. It's been forever. Am I ready for this?
Darker thoughts gathered like thunderheads. Can I trust him? And if I can't then
what the hell am I doing here? I've never been
able to think straight around him, what makes this any different? Good guy, bad
guy, it's all the same with him, you never
know what the hell he's up to.
Doubt crept in and washed away all emotions except fear and self loathing. Why
does he want this? Why me? After all that I've
said and done? Dubretsky said it himself, Alex is a born operative: he never forgets
and he never forgives and he can carry a
grudge forever. I can't do this. It isn't going to work. It'll blow up in my face. And I
just don't think I could take that again.
Mulder walked the fine edge of the abyss that held his past pains, felt despair as the
ground slipped under his feet. Krycek was
paying enough attention to see how his breathing had changed, shallower and
quicker now. And the terrible sadness in the flat
eyes.
Oh shit, Krycek silently swore. What happened? What did I do? He's not even in
there. He's a thousand miles away.
"Hey! Talk to me, tell me what's wrong. C'mon, talk to me." Krycek spoke softly
while apprehension laid a thick foundation in
his own mind. I scared him. I must have, what else could it be? What the hell did I
do?
Mulder heard the quiet voice under the louder one that screamed in his head. Alex's
voice, all husky and scratchy; like the finest
of sandpaper on old hardwood. It was soothing and warm. A lifeline tossed to him
before he drowned in his own paranoia.
"Hey. Come on... what is it?"
Mulder felt the clasp of hands on his shoulders and he came back from the edge.
Instead of staring into the past he was staring
into the clear blue green glass chips of Alex Krycek's eyes.
"Jesus, where were you?"
"I'm sorry. I'm okay. I was just thinking about something." He gave a sad smile and
a slight shake of his head.
"Yeah well... don't! Whatever it is, try not to think about it again, okay?" Krycek
was speaking from the opposite shore of life.
A man who centered his life in simple pragmatic choices, never burdened himself
with anything as useless as regret, let alone
guilt or self loathing.
"Sorry."
"Stop apologizing. Are you sure you're alright with this?" Krycek bringing his usual
light efficient practicality to bear on
Mulder's convoluted problems. "We don't..." Krycek broke off mid sentence. He
knew he should finish it, he knew he should
give Mulder a way out, he just couldn't say the rest. He was afraid Mulder would
actually take him up on the offer and he just
didn't know if he could bear that. He didn't want to stop now, not after he had
tasted that mouth and saw how that body
reacted to his touch.
Mulder drew his hands up and this time there was no resistance. Gently he cupped
the high cheekbones of Krycek's face and
kissed him. Not a deep kiss, not even a long one. A kiss that said 'thanks, but no
thanks'.
"Yeah, I'm fine now. It was just the same old stuff biting me in the ass." Mulder's
reward was a smile. Not a smirk but a
genuine unguarded smile, opening up those usually so shielded features.
"So when can I bite you in the ass, Mulder?"
Mulder snicked out a short almost soundless laugh. Krycek's ease in dismissing
Mulder's dark thoughts made Mulder wonder if
he couldn't treat them with the same high handed disregard. Bolstered and
emboldened he leaned back in and kissed Krycek
again. An intense, long, slow, hot, search every bit of his mouth kind of kiss. It was
sweet and intoxicating. It wasn't enough, he
wanted more. He slid his hands from Krycek's face to the back of his head and
smoothed the short hair. He felt the shape of
Krycek's skull under his fingers. He held fast to it not giving it an inch to move and
deepened the kiss, devouring that mouth.
Through it all, he felt the cock that was in front of him rise. He moved his body to
meet the hard ridge with his own hardness
and sucked in a gasp from Krycek. It felt good knowing he could do that, knowing
he could excite him like that. This could
work, he thought. He brought his hands down the taut shoulders and felt muscles
ripple fluidly under his fingers as Krycek
slipped his arms down around Mulder's waist and pressed against him in a tight
embrace.
Mulder changed tack and drew his hands off Krycek's shoulders, slipped them
under his arms, let his fingers roam the broad
expanse of back. The muscles were hard and unyielding. He slid his hands down
over the curve of Krycek's ass and held them
there, softly kneading the flesh under the roughness of the trousers. He felt Krycek
stiffen even more. He can have the game but
I get this inning, thought Mulder, as he abruptly stopped.
Krycek stifled a sound that was the cross between a sigh and a moan. He looked at
Mulder, eyes silently entreating. Why are
you stopping?
"Sorry... I wasn't supposed to use my hands, was I?" Mulder innocently questioned.
Not only is he back but he's better than ever, Krycek mentally congratulated
himself. He's turning into a regular cocktease. Oh
yes this has the hallmarks of being lots of fun. Hope he can take it as good as he can
give it. Krycek's eyes darkened and
narrowed in wicked anticipation. "I think I've changed my mind. Use them, use
them all you want, and please do it now." His
voice a mixture of mirth and longing.
Mulder blushed, looked away. Oh shit, what did I expect? Now what? He seems to
know a lot more about this than I do.
Where do I start? I don't want this to be like the other times with men. I want this to
mean something. It has to because I don't
think I want to just walk away from him afterwards.
Krycek touched Mulder's chin and gently pulled his face back to look him in the
eyes. They weren't flat like before, no storm
clouds brewing but there was something in them that spelled a different kind of
fear. Ahh, I know what this is about, he silently
addressed Mulder. Uh uh, you can't back out because of inexperience. I'll teach you
what you need to know. I'll do it with great
pleasure.
"Hey, relax baby. We've got all night to find out what feels good. Don't worry about
a thing. Okay?" Seductive words, gently
whispered through a smile.
Mulder nodded, listening but not really hearing the words. He was paying much
more attention to the mouth that spoke them,
remembering how good that mouth felt against the skin of his neck, how it sucked
and kissed with reckless abandon.
Remembering how it covered his own mouth, how it gave yet stole life sustaining
breath. He caught only fragments here and
there... relax... feels good... night... baby... baby!? Oh my God. A surge of warmth
started below waist level and traveled
north to his cheeks. He didn't...
"What did you call me?"
The man before him laughed softly and pulled him into a comfortably tight
embrace. Kissing the side of his neck Krycek
whispered, "I called you 'baby'. Does that bother you?" His tongue slid out and
stroked Mulder's ear eliciting a sharp intake of
air. He continued without waiting for an answer. "I like the idea of calling you baby.
It feels great on my tongue, slips off easily
and sounds really good when I hear it hang in the air. Does it bother you that
much?" This time he waited for a response.
Lost in the heat of Krycek's mouth working its particular brand of magic on his
sensitive spots, Mulder could do no more than
sigh the words "No, I guess not".
"Good, I'm glad that's settled. Let's get something else straight here and now. Pay
attention." Krycek straightened up to look in
the sleepy hazel eyes in front of him and continued. "I'm not going to call you
Mulder either. Not here, not in the privacy of
my own place and certainly not in my bed. So you better get used to hearing 'Fox',
too."
Mulder frowned and looked away.
"Oh no, don't you dare turn away from me. Don't put that fucking wall up, not here,
not now. Look at me." Krycek's voice
turned hard and demanding.
Mulder froze. His stomach did a peculiar flip then found a spot halfway between his
heart and mouth. His eyes lifted
reluctantly, giving only a flat narrow stare.
Shit, thought Krycek. I'm not going to fight over something as stupid as this. I just
want to get him in bed. But I can't back
down now; I don't want him thinking he can get his own way with me. Okay, let's
try a different attack. He lowered his voice,
made it soft and persuasive.
"You may have a problem with your name, but I don't. Just think about it for a
minute. Imagine me screaming 'Fox', right while
I'm coming. Hard. Wouldn't that give a whole new spin to it?" Krycek emphasized
and tempered all of the right words to get
Mulder's attention.
Mulder's narrowed eyes widened, while a blush warmed his cheeks. Images of Alex
bathed in moonlight and sweat, right on the
brink, arching his body, writhing and clawing at him, at the bedclothes... panting,
whispering, screaming his name. It could have
serious possibilities when used like that. The small beginnings of a smile turned up
the corners of his mouth.
Krycek watched the warm glow and accompanying smile spread over Mulder's face
and knew he had won. "I know you have
bad memories associated with your name. Let me give you some new memories;
good ones, hot ones. I can make you love your
name. Just give me the chance."
"It doesn't really matter whether I say yes or no does it?" Asked Mulder, realization
dawning. You've always gotten your own
way somehow.
"No, not really. But it would be nice if you said yes," Krycek answered honestly.
Mulder nodded his head, sighing ruefully.
"Good, I win. Now get your shirt off before I send it the way of that last button."
Krycek felt the way Mulder's breath caught
for a split second, how doubt clouded his eyes again. "Hey relax... one step at a time... nothing more." Krycek's quiet words
were a balm to all of Mulder's misgivings.
Mulder crossed his arms in front of himself, grasped the hem of his t shirt and pulled
it over his head. Krycek watched the
muscles of that toned body move with ballet style and grace. He was fascinated that
the mere physical act of removing a simple
garment had turned into an erotic performance. And I'll bet next week's pay he
doesn't even know he's doing it. Krycek smiled
with unabashed appreciation. Mulder dropped the shirt on the floor, looked up at
Krycek and saw the smile.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Liar." Mulder scowled at him, but Krycek took no notice, he was busy with other
thoughts. He burned the sight of Mulder's
bare torso into his memory for safekeeping. He had seen it before but he never
allowed himself the pleasure of truly looking at
it. Nothing more than a few sidelong glances; stolen moments when he was sure he
wouldn't be noticed. This was better by far.
His eyes moved slowly over the patch of brown hair that feathered out to golden
down on the plains of the lightly muscled
chest, then to the tawny brown color of the hardened nipples, up to the fully defined
collarbones and finally to the scar on the
left shoulder. He briefly relived the memory of that long ago night. The night Scully
shot her partner in an effort to prevent him
from making a serious mistake. Saving Krycek's life played into the bargain, though
he knew that had been a very minor
consideration as far as Scully was concerned. There was no doubt, he and Mulder
certainly shared 'history'.
Scully didn't really trust him even now; he doubted that she ever would. He didn't
want to think about whether Mulder did or
not. It was enough that he be allowed this far into that solitary life. Krycek knew not
to ask questions if he didn't want to hear
the answers.
Krycek opened his arms as Mulder started to move toward him. The cotton of his
shirt clung to his skin. When did I start to
sweat, he thought idly. Mulder closed the small space between them until his
sensitized skin felt the texture of Krycek's shirt.
He inhaled the now familiar scent of soap mixed with that faint almond tang and felt
the heat of Krycek's body through his
clothes. Felt the erection that was not quite hidden in the folds of the woolen
trousers.
"Alex, you've got on way too many clothes and I'm starting to feel as if I'm on
display. Don't you think we can even up the
odds a bit now?" Mulder's voice was warm and husky, his eyes darkened. The
evening light was failing, shadows playing over
his features, shielding yet exposing him.
"No problem." Krycek backed up a step.
Before Mulder had a chance to react or even attempt to help, Krycek, in one swift
move, pulled his dress shirt and t shirt
together over his head and off his arms. He tossed them to his left and they landed
in a heap by the foot of the bed. His eyes
caught Mulder's and he waited. He knew what was coming.
Mulder's breath stopped in his throat as his eyes were instantly drawn to the angry
scars that marred Krycek's skin. Two were
on the side of his ribcage, one just off to the side of his breastbone visible against the
smooth brown hair and the last further
down to the side of his waist. The scars were from bullets.
Bullets that were meant for me. He took them instead. He didn't even think twice
about it. Mulder fought a losing battle with
his memory.
He saw himself coming out of his apartment building and Krycek running towards
him yelling something at him. The brief
glimpse of another man with a gun before he felt the pain as the bullet lanced his
forearm.
His eyes burned with the pictures that his mind would not stop replaying. He
remembered Krycek's solid weight against his
body pinning him to the building wall. He could almost feel the impact once again of
the two bullets as they buried themselves
in the mass of flesh and muscle that protected his own. Another two spinning
Krycek away from him, against the wall. The
drained pallor of Krycek's face, eyes wide and staring at nothing. Mulder closed his
eyes in an effort to erase the sights. Krycek
couldn't stand it any longer.
"Fuck it! It's over okay. It happened and now it's over. I did my job, and I don't
regret it. Let it go. I'm standing in front of
you right now, a little worse for wear but all of the parts still work. Wanna see?"
Krycek shot his very best leer in an effort
to pull Mulder back from the edge of depression.
Mulder tried to smile but failed.
"Damn it come on! It doesn't matter, none of it matters. Do you want to know what
matters Fox?" Krycek's voice dropped to
a husky whisper. "This matters." He moved in to close the chasm between them and
softly cupped Mulder's blossoming
erection through his trousers. Mulder groaned and allowed his eyes to slip shut.
"This is what's important right now. It tells me you want this as much as I do."
Krycek stroked the hardened cock and looked
into Mulder's darkened eyes. "We've tap danced around this long enough. I want to
see you and taste you and make you come
until you have nothing left to give me. Then I want to do it all over again. I want to
wear you out Fox. What do you say?"
Mulder heard more emotion in that always expressive voice than he ever had
before. He smiled this time and kissed the cool
mouth that hovered close to his own. "What do I get to do for you?" The question
was raw, a little worried.
"You get to enjoy it. That's all I want right now." Let's not try to make this equal
tonight. I'll get so much pleasure out of
watching you come. Just that sight alone will make all of this hedging around it
worthwhile to me.
Mulder looked down to see his own belt buckle in Krycek's hands. He was waiting
for a sign that he could continue.
Mulder gave a shaky nod of his head and Krycek's long tapered fingers went to
work on the belt clasp and zipper. He slipped
his palms in the waistband of the shorts and trousers and skinned them down
Mulder's long lean flanks, marveling at the soft
warm texture of the skin. He hunkered down and tapped the strong calves,
motioning for Mulder to lift one foot then the other
as the trousers and shorts were tossed to another part of the room.
Krycek drew in a soft breath and stared in stark admiration at the lean body in front
of him. Perfect form and grace. Muscular
but not muscle bound. His eyes moved slowly up until he saw the unrestrained
hardened cock. His lips parted without his
knowledge and his tongue snaked out to wet them. There is no question, I have to
taste him right now. Just a taste, no more
than that. He looked up at Mulder and saw that his eyes were open and focused on
his every move.
Watch this, he thought, as he slid to his knees and fixed his mouth to envelop the
warm satiny cock that stood at attention
before him. His hands rested lightly on the cooling skin of Mulder's hips. Not really
holding him still, just resting there, while
his talented mouth went to work.
What the hell?! Mulder jerked, froze. What are you... oh my God! Oh Jesus Christ I
don't think I can take this. Damn, I should
have known your mouth was capable of this. Your kisses should have been the clue.
Oh God, I'm going to go out of my mind.
Mulder watched as Krycek's mouth tried to swallow him whole and wondered how
much time he had left as a somewhat sane
man.
Oh yes, thought Krycek. Now we're getting somewhere and he tastes so good.
Krycek worked his tongue around the tip
nibbling and licking the tender skin on the underside. His right hand moved from
the silky skin of Mulder's hip to caress the
now heavy sac of his balls. He sucked and pulled with his mouth all the while
listening to Mulder's breathing. It had that sweet
ragged quality to it. Krycek lost himself in the taste and texture of the hardened
shaft. Crinkly coarse brown hairs tickled his
nose and he inhaled deeply the sharp scent of musk. He never caught the warning;
the subtle shift in Mulder's breathing that
signified the change coursing through his body.
What he heard was a strangled gasp and felt hands fly to his head. Oh no you don't!
Without missing a lick he let go of the sac
and grabbed hold of both the offending hands and held them at bay while his
mouth sucked and nipped at the tender skin by the
engorged balls.
"Jesus! Alex, no... I can't... I can't physically stand up while you do this, I can't hold
still... please Alex, please just stop for a
second."
Krycek heard the panic in Mulder's voice and felt the tremors in his legs. He
reasoned it probably had been a while since
anyone had done this to Mulder, no matter what the position. He delicately sucked
one ball into his mouth and released it.
Heard a choked groan from the depths of Mulder's throat. To Krycek it was the
voice of angels.
He looked up at Mulder and licked his lips. "Well, you told me to stop." Krycek got
up and pulled Mulder close to him. He
could feel the shivers running through Mulder's body and basked in the knowledge
that he alone was responsible for that
reaction.
"You alright?" Concern washed over his fine porcelain features as he pulled back for
a closer look. He saw bright hazel eyes and
the flushed cheeks, and thought, you look great anyhow.
"God yeah, I'm fine." The answer came in the form of a barely audible rasping
whisper.
"You want more?" As if I didn't know the answer to that one already.
"Yes, please, but don't make me stand. I don't think I can take it like that."
Please?! Oh I like that Fox... I wonder what else I could get you to say 'please' to,
Krycek silently questioned. "OK, you can't
stand. How about laying down, can you do that?"
Mulder nodded his agreement and looked down.
"Alex?"
"Uh huh?"
"Don't you think it's time you got those pants off?"
"These? Sure... no problem... want to help?" Krycek smiled.
Mulder stepped forward to fiddle with the belt clasp and zipper.
"Careful," Krycek whispered. Mulder looked at Krycek and saw a sparkle in the blue
green glass of his eyes. There was a smile
fighting its way to the surface. Something was up and it wasn't just the obvious.
Mulder undid the belt, the button and the zipper and slid his hands inside and felt...
skin? What the hell? He pushed the
trousers down Krycek's slim hips and watched as they slid over the muscular thighs
and pooled in a dark gray lump at his ankles. Oh my god! He doesn't wear shorts or... anything! Krycek unceremoniously
kicked the trousers off his ankles and used his foot to jettison them out of his way.
Mulder looked back up at Krycek in
complete shock.
"Well you were bound to find out sooner or later."
"Oh Jesus Alex..."
"Don't worry, I make sure my pants are dark enough and the fabric is heavy
enough to hide a multitude of sins. Learn
something neweveryday, don't you Mulder?"
Mulder just stared. The phrase 'sex on legs' was spinning giddily in his brain. For
everyone else, sex was something that had to
be fitted in around more prosaic elements of life. For Alex Krycek it was some kind
of incense smoke that perfumed everything
he did. A sleek hungry animal, that had somehow been tamed to wear a suit. The
taming didn't seem to go very far in though.
"Now... where were we? Oh right, you didn't think you could stand still for what I
was doing. Well come here and lay down
and we'll try it this way. Okay?" Krycek walked past Mulder and headed for the
bed. He pulled the covers back which in turn
sent his jacket and tie flying to the floor. He glanced at them and tried to decide if it
was worth picking them up. He thought
better of it; the trousers were already a mess so they were going to the cleaners
anyway, he assessed.
Mulder watched with rapt attention at the ease with which Krycek moved. He had
the grace of a panther. His body was solid
and muscular; Mulder's eyes were drawn to the erect cock that stood away from the
crinkly mahogany curls. It was beautiful.
He could think of no other word to describe it. He always thought of the male
genitalia as pretty funny looking but this... this
was an art form.
The sound of Krycek's voice broke his reverie.
"Fox? Come on over here. I would love the pleasure of you in my bed right now. I
want to feel your skin next to mine and pick
up where I left off."
Mulder convinced his legs to walk the few feet to the bed and stood in front of the
other man. He reached to stroke Krycek's
smooth cheek with the backs of his fingers and felt them snagged in a strong grip.
Krycek brought the fingers up to his mouth
and gently sucked each one never breaking their stare. Mulder felt his cock twitch
while his mind did a replay of just exactly
what that mouth was capable of doing.
Krycek let go of the hand and placed his own on Mulder's shoulder. He gently
pressed until Mulder got the message and sat on
the bed. He followed by kneeling next to him and guided him back into a prone
position. He felt the tension in Mulder's body
as he helped him lie back and whispered "Baby it's alright, I'm not going to hurt
you. I just want to touch you and taste you
like before. I want to make you feel good. Will you let me do that? I'll stop any time
you want. You just tell me. I'll stop if you
tell me to, I swear." You're a liar Alex, and a damned good one at that. What are you
going to do if he says 'stop'? Krycek
ignored the voice in the back of his head and continued talking in a quiet soothing
voice.
"Are you okay?" Krycek's concern was genuine. This would turn out better all
round if he could secure Mulder's co operation.
"I'm fine. Would you..." The rest of Mulder's sentence was swallowed as his mouth
was covered by a deep long searching
kiss.
"Would I what?" Krycek slid sensuously over Mulder's body, trying to come into as
much contact with his skin as humanly
possibly. It was as dangerous as touching dry ice. His nerve endings screamed at the
contact but he went back for more because
it felt so good and he had waited so long. He didn't think he would ever get enough.
Krycek moved down Mulder's lithe body until his mouth was centered over the
straining cock, hands pinning Mulder's hips to
the bed. He slid his mouth over the hardness and sucked, not hard enough to make
Mulder come, just hard enough to make him
beg for more.
Mulder tried to discern one intense sensation from another but gave up at the exact
moment his aching hard cock came into
contact with Krycek's wet open mouth. "Oh God," was all he managed to say as his
body strained upward to make deeper
hotter contact with the cool precise mouth, but Krycek pulled back on each thrust.
Mulder bit back a scream and settled for a
groan when the mouth pulled away all together. "Alex... please, please don't stop.
You can't do that and then just stop!"
"Oh hey, easy, I'm just getting warmed up. We need to take it slow. I want this to go
on for hours."
Mulder pulled Krycek back up his body and kissed him again, tearing through his
mouth like it was a last dying wish. He
wanted more. He begged with his own mouth and eyes; he begged with his whole
body. He looked for the answer in the cool
glint of sea blue green eyes and was granted salvation.
Krycek gladly gave all. He found the soft peak of tender nipples and licked at them
lightly, first one then the other, feeling them
stiffen under his tongue. He blew soft cool streams of air over them and watched
them harden into small pebbles. He sucked
and nipped until he heard Mulder's breath grow harsh and jagged and watched as
his body moved in a private obscene rhythm.
He stopped, knowing that any more contact would be more pain than pleasure.
He slid down to the hard erection. His own ached as well but he knew Mulder's
ached more. He touched the very tip of it with
his tongue and licked up the salty bitter syrup that had leaked out. Its taste was
sharp and he welcomed it. He gently licked and
kissed the underside and heard the moans that started in Mulder's belly. He turned
his body to give himself more freedom with
his right hand while his left arm took most of his weight. With a lazy touch he
stroked the inside of Mulder's thighs until he felt
the skin quicken and the muscles twitch their collective response. He fondled the sac
that had grown heavy. He sucked deeper
on the swollen cock. Mulder's hands strayed down to clutch two fistsful of sheeting,
his neck and torso arching, his hips
thrusting up to meet the soft icy hot mouth. Krycek slowed his mouth and hand and
listened to the reaction. Soft breaths that
turned to full throated groans. He pulled off and was met with a hiss and a plea. "Oh
God no... it feels so good... please...
please don't stop, not now, not yet."
Krycek moved part way up and stroked the sweat dampened hair and cheek and
whispered to Mulder. "Baby, listen to me. I
know it feels good but I can make it feel better, will you let me? You can tell me if
you don't like it, and I'll stop... alright?" He
didn't bother waiting for an answer as he slid back down to claim the swollen cock
as his own once more.
"Alex!!" Mulder's voice was tight with panic. It shocked Krycek into stopping. What?
What?! I haven't even done anything
yet.
"What is it? Easy now, tell me what's wrong Fox." Calm and soothing on the
outside; torn to shreds on the inside. Fuck. Please
don't tell me to stop, I know what I said but I never in a million years thought you
would take me up on it. Krycek's thoughts
were tripping over each other while he strove to maintain a calm lazy facade. He
leaned up on one elbow and looked up
towards Mulder's flushed face. Catching and holding the bright hazel eyes with his
own, Krycek waited, trailing his fingertips
absently along the shaft of Mulder's erection.
"You're not... You don't..." Mulder couldn't say it, he tried to spit the words out but
he just couldn't. He was already too
confused and the sensations in his cock were trying to take over his brain and keep
him from thinking rationally. Oh God. I'm
not so sure about this anymore, I know what you want but I don't think I can go
through with it and this feels so good and I
don't know what to do. The words was clear enough in his head but died unspoken
in his throat when he heard Krycek's husky
voice.
"I just want to touch you baby, I can make you feel so good by just touching you.
Let me do that. Just let me touch you. I
won't do anything else, I promise. And if you don't like it I'll stop." He said the
words quietly and gently, as he kissed the hot
skin of Mulder's shoulder. Say 'yes' Fox, because at this exact moment in time I'm
lying right through my teeth to you. Let's not
make this too difficult here. I'd hate like hell to have to stop now: I don't think I
could and it would be a damn shame if things
turned ugly. Say 'yes', c'mon, you can do it. Shit... help me out here God.
Krycek waited for the answer to his irreverent prayer.
"Okay, okay, just touching, right? You're not going to..." Mulder stopped to take a
deep breath and let the panic recede to an
almost tolerable level. Right then and there Alex Krycek believed in the power of
faith and cut the other man off before he could
falter some kind of conclusion to his sentence.
"Right. Just touching." Krycek hoped he sounded as reassuring as possible, what
with his heart stuck in his throat and all. "I
want you to draw your legs up a bit, keep your feet flat on the bed. It'll help us both
if you do that. Okay?" He whispered the
words so Mulder would have to settle down to hear them. He touched the strong
thigh closest to him and felt the muscle quiver
under his fingertips.
"Yeah, okay." Mulder pulled his long legs up some and dropped them open. He
picked his head off the pillow in time to see
the dark head next to his hip lick at parted lips and slide the partially open mouth
over his rigid cock. He looks like a wolf...
Mulder's thoughts ended abruptly when he felt every smooth surface and jagged
edge of that mouth and the sensations pushed
his mind over the edge into a free fall once again.
Krycek could feel the tension leave Mulder's tight body as he gently sucked and
pulled, only to be replaced by a completely
different tension. He slipped his mouth off for a heartbeat, long enough to wet his
right middle finger and then sank his mouth
down on the engorged head again. He flattened his tongue and laved at the
underside once more. He slipped his wet finger down
over the heavy balls to the opening behind them. Mulder twitched and tightened
but soon gave in to the light, lazy circles that
were being traced around the snug hole.
Krycek stopped his mouth, pulled up and looked off to his side at Mulder. "Is this
okay? Are you alright?" He knew the
answer, which was why he took the risk of asking. He continued with his mouth.
Mulder tried to form words but in the end
looked like a fish out of water. Mouth open and gulping for air. His throat muscles
working hard at saying nothing.
Krycek felt the heavy balls stir and begin to draw tight to Mulder's body. He slacked
off with his mouth. Oh no no no you
can't come this soon. I'm nowhere near done. He took his hand away from the
opening and gently but firmly worked the balls
back down with his finger and thumb around the base of the sac.
From somewhere deep in his chest Mulder pulled up a whimper and released it in
hopes that it would be enough to convey
what he wanted, what he desperately needed. His reward was Krycek's cool
restrained mouth dropping kisses over the pulsing
cock and heavy sac. Not nearly enough as far as he was concerned but it would
have to do. Contact was contact no matter how
teasing a touch it used.
Krycek smiled and drew more gentle circles around the tightened muscle. It didn't
take much longer for the area to relax a little
and for him to make his next move.
"Fox? Can I do something? I'll give you back my mouth and you let me do
something different, okay?" All the time he was
saying the words he increased the pressure of his finger. Mulder heard fragments,
the most important one being 'mouth'. He
choked out the word 'yes' and hoped it was loud enough. It was.
Krycek changed his position and brought his hand away from the tight opening and
used it to stroke the hard cock a few times.
Mulder felt the welcomed pressure and gasped his pleasure loudly. Precum flowed
like honey and Krycek smeared his finger
over the inflamed tip thoroughly wetting it with the slick substance. Nature's lube
he thought wryly.
He used his tongue to lap up the remains of the liquid only to have more flow. Oh
fuck he tastes so good, what I wouldn't give
to bring him off like this right here and now. He closed his eyes for a brief moment
lost in the images that floated in his mind.
He felt the balls in the soft sac start to tighten up and shift. He held them in place
once more and watched as Mulder's head
rocked from side to side.
A lot of good that did you dope, you'll have him coming in no time and you don't
want that to happen, no matter how good he
tastes. Keep him comfortably uncomfortable. If he comes he'll calm down a bit and
start thinking straight maybe. And if that
brain of his rolls into motion he may balk. We can't have that happening, not before
he's gone too far to ever turn back again.
Krycek smiled at his own thoughts and at the man writhing under his touch.
"Jesus Alex, please! How much do you think I can take?"
"More than you think you can take Fox, much much more." As much as I want you
to take. Oh yeah, say that to him and
watch his knuckles go white. Think of who you're dealing with here Alex, the man is
a novice, a virgin for crying out loud, stop
with the power games. There'll be time enough for that later if you do this part the
right way now.
For once Krycek listened to his conscience; most times he didn't even acknowledge
its existence but tonight was different. He
returned to the task at hand, knelt between Mulder's open legs and gently nursed
the straining angry cock in front of him. He
increased the circling pressure of his finger against the ultra tight opening until he
felt it give a bit. His finger slid and held
somewhere between the first and second knuckle. He felt the shaft in his mouth
twitch then soften a little and he listened for
Mulder's reaction. I'd give anything to see his face right now, he thought.
Mulder felt the intrusion and sucked in a halting raspy lungful of air. He tensed his
entire body as tight as he could. Every nerve
ending popped and screamed in rebellion. Oh Jesus. He's not going to do this. He
has to stop. He said he'd stop if I asked.
"Alex." The name came out barely above a whisper.
Krycek pointedly ignored Mulder and applied more stimulation with his mouth,
coaxing and drawing the cock back to life. He
sucked hard and deep. He wrapped his tongue around the length, slid his mouth up
and down and alternated pressure. His
finger remained still while Mulder's body shaped itself around it. Only after he felt
the tight ring of muscle relax did he try to
slide in another fraction of a centimeter. Just enough and no more.
Oh my God... maybe... it's okay. Mulder's thoughts were in freefall. If I stop him
he'll want to talk about it and if he talks to
me he'll stop doing that with his mouth. Oh shit no... he can't stop that. If I tighten
up maybe he won't move his finger like
that... it doesn't exactly hurt, it's just... no it's not so bad... it really isn't... I can do
this, it's okay... oh yeah... oh God it's
really okay.
Alex felt the subtle difference in his partner's body and thought it was time to test
the waters again. He stopped sucking, pulled
off completely and waited for it to hit.
"Oh shit—Alex! Why did you stop?"
"You said my name so I thought you wanted me to stop. Are you okay with this? I'll
stop, it's alright." He put on the most
concerned look he could muster. Oh yeah sure I'll stop, I'll stop if you hold your gun
to my head or maybe not even then.
Krycek gave himself a mental slap. I've gotta stop thinking like this, sooner or later
it's going to come out my mouth and I'll end
up scaring him to death.
"Oh Christ no! Don't stop now."
"You're sure?" Putting even more concern in his voice now that he knew it was safe
to do so.
"I'm sure." Mulder grinding out the words in sheer desperation.
Gotcha, thought Krycek and he leaned over to gently suck once more on the silky
hard shaft. He felt Mulder relax and sigh. He
continued the slow but steady exploration with his imbedded finger until it could
reach no further. Krycek slowed and
deepened the pull of his mouth then increased the movement of his finger. He
heard Mulder's breath go ragged and shallow and
felt his body move in counterpoint to the gentle probing. Now or never he thought
and slowly withdrew his finger, then took
his mouth away too.
"No Alex... damn you!" Mulder's voice was raw and scratchy. Krycek slid up to cup
the hot flushed face.
"Sshh baby, take it easy, just give it a second or two and you can have it all back.
You like that? You want more? I know you
do. Want it to feel even better? I can do that too, will you let me?"
"Oh God yes... no wait... what are you going to do?" Mulder's voice beginning as a
blurred groan, but sharpening to a wary
edge.
"It's the same thing, just a touch baby. It'll feel so good and if it doesn't, if you decide
you don't like it, I'll stop. You just tell me
and I'll stop." No I won't. I'll cuff you to the fucking bed if I have to, but I know I
won't stop. There is no way in hell I'm
stopping now. Not the CIA or the FBI or the alien Overmind can save your sweet
ass right now. You don't need to know that
though, so you just keep on believing me and we'll be fine. Krycek masked his
harsh thoughts with a gentle smile.
Krycek's soft gaze darkened as he looked at the sleek body of his partner. It was so
tense, every tendon had an edge to it, every
muscle flexed tight and ready to spring. You're so close. C'mon Fox we're headed
for the home stretch here. I'll make it good for
you I promise. I want you to like it; I want you to keep coming back for more.
Mulder nodded his head.
"Okay baby, just relax." Krycek leaned over, softly kissed Mulder's lips and
smoothed his damp hair. Oh... that mouth, it
must feel so damn good. Maybe... yeah maybe later, maybe in the morning.
Krycek slid back down in between Mulder's open legs once again. He noticed the
taut muscles in the open thighs and looked
down to the matching ones in the calves. So close. All he had to do was touch the
semi erect cock and it bobbed back to life. It
hardened in his hand before he had the chance to stroke it. He watched the precum
gather at the tip. It's not enough, I'm gonna
need help, he thought as he eyed the nightstand drawer. Oh man... now how do I
do this without scaring him? Fuck... there
has got to be some lube down at this end somewhere... maybe under the bed.
Krycek looked at the edge of the bed and tried to gauge the distance, the length of
his arm and the angle of his body. Yeah... if I
stretch I could probably do it. He set up Mulder with a slow easy comfortable
stroking rhythm and went to work.
He stretched as far as his body would allow and slowly slid his hand up and down
under the length of the boxspring until he
felt his muscles burn in retaliation. His fingertips lightly raked over something small
and cool. He felt it move. Yes! That's it!
Oh please let me get this, he silently implored no one in particular. He tapped gently
with his fingertips until the tube moved
within his reach. Got it!
He wrapped his long fingers securely around the small object, pulled it out from
under the bed and smiled in triumph. Quickly
he shot a glance at Mulder, who was far more concerned with what was going on at
the center of his body than with paying any
kind of attention to the gymnastics that Krycek had just performed.
Krycek stopped stroking and started kissing the hot skin on the inside of Mulder's
thigh. Long wet sucking kisses that made
the muscles tense and shiver in response. He ran his tongue close to the
swollen balls but didn't touch them. He heard Mulder whimper and felt him move
to find the wet mouth again. He unscrewed
the top to the tube and squeezed a small amount of the jelly into his hand and let it
warm.
He generously coated two fingers with the warm jelly, slid them down to the tight
opening. He lifted enough to watch Mulder's
face as he drew the same lazy circles he had drawn before. He felt the opening give
and smiled. "Good baby, really good, now
you're getting the hang of it. Relax and let me in." His voice was soothing and quiet.
He slipped the first finger in for a moment then withdrew and pushed them both in.
He waited for the muscle to relax again and
pulled the silky hard shaft into his mouth and sucked lightly. He scraped the length
gently with his teeth and felt it twitch. He
heard Mulder groan and his lips tightened a little more in a stifled smile. He
deepened his pull and forced his throat to relax. He
took all he could and savored every inch. He felt the pressure of the tight chamber
increase on his fingers, milking them. He
curled his fingers and as he touched the hidden gland Mulder's whole body arched
and tensed in response. The hoarse sound of
Mulder's voice resounded off of the walls. Krycek's lips tried again to form a smile,
then he touched it a second time.
Mulder had felt the pressure and waited for the penetration. Knowing what was
coming had made it a little easier to handle. It
didn't feel so intrusive to him this time; he relaxed. He felt the fullness leave only to
have it replaced by more. He instinctively
tightened up but willed his body to obey and accept. The gentle fingers moved in
and out with a slow steady rhythm. He had
felt Krycek's hot sweet mouth slip over his erection once more and gave himself up
to enjoying all of the sensations. Any
remnant of guilt he may have had was gone. He groaned in pleasure. When the
long fingers turned, an explosion of sensations
rocked his body. His back arched, he white knuckled the sheets to the point of
cramping his hands and ground out a guttural
unintelligible sound. Before he could recover, his body responded to the touch
again.
Ohmygod! What the hell is he doing? Ohmygodohmygodohmygod... the stars
cleared and he heard a quiet voice off to his left.
"Hey baby? Is that okay?"
Krycek's voice cut through the sound of the rapid pounding of his own heart
echoing in his ears. His body coiled and grasped at
the fine edges of an orgasm that needed more for release. Nothing more was
granted and there he stayed on the border between
heaven and hell; waiting.
"Alex... please." Mulder's voice was more breath than sound. His eyes were bright
and feverish. His lean tight body shivered as
the sweat on his skin cooled him. Krycek looked down at the straining cock and
knew he couldn't tease him much longer. He
didn't want to cross the line into real pain. Time to make the move.
"Baby I want to take it further, I want to... I want to do something else, please?"
Krycek asked quietly. The not so dull ache in
his cock had risen to his voice and betrayed his emotions. He had to know what it
felt like to be inside this man. He'd do it
carefully, gently, kindly: but he'd do it.
"What do you want to do Alex?" Mulder knew the answer before he asked. He
reached up and pulled Krycek into a brutal
searing kiss.
He poured every ounce of passion he could find into it, trying to stoke up the heat
of his own arousal and need against the fine
chill of fear and apprehension. His body reacted to the touch of Krycek's skin,
Mulder moved and ground up against him in an
effort to feel more. He ran his hands down the smooth silky skin of Krycek's back
and felt the warmth under his fingers. He
had never felt anything so good in his life. Are you as close as me? Mulder silently
questioned. You don't show it, you don't act
it but I think you are. You just hide it better.
Krycek broke the kiss first and dipped his head low to Mulder's chest. He caught
one of the tawny brown nipples between his
teeth and sucked at it gently. He felt the hot body beneath him move and thrust as
he switched to the other nipple. He caught
the hands that flew to his head and held them tight in his own. He looked straight
into Mulder's eyes and took a deep breath.
"I want to know what you feel like baby. I want to be inside you. Just for one
second. I won't hurt you, it won't hurt you, I
swear. Please. Will you let me try?" Krycek tried to keep his voice level but he knew
the other man heard the soft tremor and
catch. Please say yes. I can't force you on this. I'll torment and tease and bring you
to the edge and back a hundred times but I
can't just cold bloodedly rape you. But I'll lure you and drive you and drag you if I
have to. Please say 'yes', please don't leave
me to find out how much I can justify to myself.
Mulder could feel that rock hard cock bumping against his hip and wondered what
it would feel like inside of him. His own
hardness twitched electrically at the thought. He was so hard, so achingly close. He
closed his eyes for a moment then opened
them again.
"Tell me what to do." Tell me how to survive this.
"Nothing baby, you just relax for me. Stay on your back, I want to be able to look at
your eyes, okay?"
"No... I want to do something, tell me what to do Alex." Give me something to
focus on, apart from the fact that I am about to
let you... Mulder's heartbeat spiraled upwards on a rising tide of panic. Or
something.
"How's your self control Fox?" There was a cool edge to Krycek's voice that brought
Mulder nicely back into focus. Heart
pounding certainly, but in excitement, nothing else.
"I would have thought you knew the answer to that better than anyone." The words
were razor sharp, a challenge. I've always
stayed away from you, and now I wish I hadn't.
Krycek nodded his head and said softly, "Don't come, hold back. Can you do that? If
you can, I'll make it worth the wait, I
promise."
Mulder acknowledged Krycek's seductive promising threatening instruction with a
slow dip of his head. But he knew that
thinking about not coming was not the best way of not coming. He needed a...
distraction. Rising to his knees, erection
standing proudly away from his body he said "Let me," touching the tube in
Krycek's hand.
Krycek looked at him in amazement, holding fast to the slick. His head was at war
with itself: half saying 'let him', the other
half fighting bitterly saying 'no, I want to control this myself.'
"You sure?" Dreading that Mulder would overestimate his own courage, and start
something that would end by spoiling the
steady momentum of the situation.
"No, but let me anyway."
A measured beat of time passed before Krycek silently handed off the tube. Don't
get too used to winning Mulder, he thought,
smiling tightly, eyes glittering dangerously. It'll happen only as often as I allow.
Mulder returned that tight smile with softer eyes and pulled Krycek into a sudden
embrace. Using his right arm to take their
weight he lowered both of their bodies to the bed. Krycek's eyelids fluttered at
mixed sensations, sinking into the cool sheeting
then moving upwards to make contact with the hot skin that covered his own. He
pulled himself up and leaned back on his
elbows, his eyes tracking Mulder's every movement as he rose once again to his
knees.
Squeezing some of the jelly out Mulder held it in his hand to warm it. Looking up at
Krycek's face he gave an unsteady smile,
his eyes showing apprehension and excitement.
Krycek felt the light touch of warm fingers on the tight skin of his hip and
shuddered, his head dropping back. The fingers
vanished but their heat lingered leaving marks that were felt, not seen. Closing his
eyes he drew a long quiet breath and waited
for the touch to return. He fought, nearly lost the silent battle to maintain his
composure when the warm slippery fingers
gently wrapped around his hard cock. Featherlight touches stroked and slicked him.
My God he's so hard! Mulder's first visceral reaction was followed by a more
analytical one: he's not as big as I—feared. I'm
bigger... but he's not exactly small either... this could be... Mulder's assessment ran
as he tentatively grasped the hardened
cock. Watching and feeling where his fingers rested around the thick shaft he
pushed back the tide of fear that threatened,
focused instead on the feel and sound of the silky cock as it slipped slowly through
his hand. His thumb traced the vein that
ran up the underside, around the crown. A gentle stroking rhythm gave it life in his
hand; pulsing, twitching. He caught a sharp
musky scent, the sight of the pearl of precum as it beaded at the tip then leaked over
the side, down to wet his fingers. He
swallowed hard, absently licking his lips. Utterly lost in the experience he leaned
down to dab the slit with his tongue, swirling
lazily about the head. Damn, it tastes good. A loud sharp hissing noise pulled him
up fast from his thoughts. Realizing what
he had done he looked at Krycek to gauge the effect only to be pinned by the bright
blue green eyes.
At Mulder's first hesitant touch a shiver had run through Krycek. Oh fuck no... it's
too gentle, too sweet, he had pleaded
mentally. I can't take this. You give me sweet and gentle and I want to drive into
you with the force of a jackhammer. He bit
back the words, opened and focused his eyes on Mulder's hands watching intently
as small tendons danced just under the skin
at each change of movement. His eyes shifted to Mulder's face; lost in concentration,
his tongue darting out to lick full lips.
Brown hair fell over his high forehead as he bent his head lower, lower, until his
tongue slipped out from between his lips and
licked the tip of Krycek's cock.
Krycek's heart pounded in his ears, every nerve ending in his body relocated to that
one spot and sizzled. His breath caught and
stayed in his throat when the hot wet tongue slid slowly around the head. Oh fuck
yes, please, more, he silently begged. His
lungs burned. Then he realized it had to stop before it went too far. I can't come
now! No baby you have to stop, he thought.
The sound of air fighting its way through his clenched teeth broke the silence.
"Fox..." He hissed, looking into heavy eyes. A small smile broke the severe line of his
face. "You have to stop, okay? No more.
C'mon baby." He dragged in a breath, digging deep for self control. Oh fuck we
have to do this now, right now no more waiting.
Mulder slid up a short distance to look unflinchingly into Krycek's eyes. It's now; it's
going to happen now. He searched
inwardly for real fear only to find little more than faint apprehension.
Krycek gently pushed Mulder to his back. "Just like before. Nice and slow, I won't
hurt you."
"Okay, what..." Mulder's question was caught in the space between a slow blink
and a deep breath, then immediately soothed
away by a light kiss and quiet words.
"Nothing, you don't do anything, just relax and let me in, okay?"
Their eyes locked for one long moment of silence.
"Okay." So low, less than a whisper.
Krycek found the tube once again. Smearing a good amount of jelly on his fingers
he watched Mulder's eyes darken and saw his
cock lift.
Krycek moved to his knees, sliding between the opened legs, dipping his head;
sucked gently on the tip, tasting once more the
sharp flavor that seeped out. He pulled the head deep into his throat then slowly
released, repeating the action until he felt
Mulder thrust into his mouth as he had done before. He slowed his movements and
lightened the pull; soft sounds of protest
hung in the air.
"Shhh baby, almost there, almost home." He slid his slickened fingers behind the
heavy balls and found the tight opening again.
It blossomed under his touch as one then two fingers tickled their way inside the
tight entry. Steady, slow probing until they
sank easily to the last knuckles. His mouth tasted the shaft for a final time before he
slowly teasingly withdrew his fingers.
Mulder's breath went shallow as his moans increased. His back arched and he cried
out "Alex... please," in a voice hoarse with
need, a body coiled tight, waiting, begging for more.
"Easy baby, I'm right here, right here." Right where you want me to be, I sincerely
fucking hope. Krycek moved up over
Mulder's open legs and felt the hot electric sensation as hard shafts rubbed against
one another. Oh Jesus... thoughts shattered
into bright sparks. From a distance he heard his name, snapping him back to
attention.
"Alex..."
"It's okay, I won't hurt you, I promise, I won't hurt you." The head of his cock rested
up against the entry. He looked at
Mulder's feverish eyes and smiled. "Keep looking at me baby, I want to see your
eyes." They'll tell me all I need to know.
Gently, with more care than he could remember ever taking at any other time, he
pushed the head slowly into the snug hole, a
fraction at a time. He felt the chamber tighten against the intrusion, then relax in
acceptance. "C'mon Fox, it's okay baby, just
relax." His voice was steady and controlled but his mind spun out and away. Oh fuck
yeah, tight, so tight... I haven't fucked a
virgin in... months...
Mulder's breath came in shallow gulps. Willing his body to obey he tried to relax as
he felt the head slowly push into him. Oh
God! His thoughts disintegrated into fragments. It burns—it hurts—doesn't it—it's
too much—it's too—He concentrated on
breathing; long slow deep lungsful of air. His thoughts cleared a little. It's okay, it's
not so bad, it's justpressure and fullness...
He could hear Krycek's soothing voice.
"Open your eyes Fox, let me see your eyes."
Slowly Mulder relaxed enough to lift his eyelids and look straight at Krycek as a
hand reached to caress his cheek and brush
away a stray hank of hair.
"You okay?" You have to be because I can't stop now, I simply can't. Krycek held
on, waiting for an answer.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm good." Mulder knew he sounded as brusque and matter of fact
as if he was reassuring Krycek he was
unhurt after an outbreak of gunfire. But he was afraid that if he let any of his
emotions show, he wouldn't be able to stop them
all spilling out.
Krycek heard only the clear determination in Mulder's voice, and settled in with a
slow cautious press and withdraw, back in
again.
At first Mulder lay passive, struggling to stay relaxed and accepting. Then
tentatively he arched up to meet the next slow gentle
push, faltered, tried again as Krycek slowly pushed all the way in and pulled most of
the way out. The resistance in Mulder's
body diminished as he met the gentle thrusts. The motion became easier, the pace
more certain, their bodies beginning to work
in tandem, harsh breaths blending into quiet moans and gasps. Slick bodies brushed
close than backed away as they moved in
counterpoint to the slow tempo.
Mulder was totally absorbed in the sensations filling his body and mind. Sweet
possession, release, a hot saturation unlike
anything he had ever experienced. He arched toward the pressure and fullness, his
aching cock brushing against rock hard
muscles. His hand found his own hardness and began a slow matching rhythm.
Trapped helpless between two points of
merciless pleasure...
"Oh Christ, yes, that's it..." Krycek was struggling with the basics of
communication, his cock sinking deeper and deeper into
the tight tunnel. He thrust gently, and again. "Easy, just relax, good, oh God..."
Krycek's litany was spinning into undirected
nonsense when a strong hand dug deep into the clenched muscles of his shoulder.
He sucked a sharp breath in through clenched
teeth, almost grateful to the pain for grounding him. "What baby? Are you okay?
Am I hurting you?" Mulder looked up, his
eyes blacker than coal, looking but not seeing. His breathing was harsh, scraping
through his dry throat with an agonizing edge.
Fuck! What did I do to him?
"Fox are you okay?" Please tell me I didn't hurt you, Krycek's eyes were silently
begging.
"Yeah", this time the sound was something close to soft amazement. Krycek's gaze
shifted to take in as much of the body
beneath him as possible. He felt something tickle his belly and caught a glimpse of
Mulder's right hand wrapped tightly around
his own shaft, stroking and pulling. "I'm fine, I'm... fine."
"Don't come." Krycek husked the words out as a plea.
"I won't come." Mulder sounded like he was trying to impress his resolve on himself
too. "Tell me Alex. Tell me what it feels
like. What I feel like."
What do you feel like? Krycek repeated the question in his mind, buying himself a
few precious seconds before trying to
answer the impossible. "You feel... so hot, and tight, and soft..." he searched for
better words, something that would make it
all clear, but language was simply inadequate. It had to be... experienced.
Krycek slowed, stopped the gentle rock of his hips, a gradual smile spreading over
his handsome features. Dipping his lips to
Mulder's right ear he whispered seductively, "I can't explain. You need to do it to
know. Do you want to know?"
Mulder stilled too, suddenly wide eyed, startled. Oh shit... wait a second, I thought
all I had to do was relax... He was
distantly aware that before tonight he would have presumed it would be less
threatening to do this to a man than to have it
done to himself. Now he wasn't so sure. Besides, Alex had expended such time and
care on him, Mulder wasn't sure he had the
control to return the favor.
He tried to piece together something that would convey his uncertainty without
implying an actual refusal. "I thought... I
didn't think... don't you..." The rest of whatever it was he was trying to say was
sealed inside his mouth by a deep hungry
kiss, and then forgotten as the gentle thrusts started again.
Krycek broke the kiss to ask the question once more. "So, do you want to?" His eyes
glittered bright in the half light. C'mon
baby, I would give anything to have you inside of me, anything to feel you cover
me with your body and pump into me.
"Yeah. I want to." Mulder resolutely refused to allow himself to consider how long
he'd been flirting with this particular
scenario in his imagination. Five minutes. Five months. Five years...
Krycek flashed a killer smile. "Okay. I hate to do this to you but if it's gonna happen,
I have to move." He pulled out slowly;
rewarded with a soft groan. "Yeah, I know, but I promise, it will be worth it." Rolling
to his side he found the tube of slick then
got up and off the bed, knelt down on the floor. "C'mon... you have to move too."
Mulder followed suit. "Why?"
"Because you are about to find out the advantages of a really low bed."
Mulder's eyes widened with sudden realization then narrowed. "So how come you
didn't make me..."
"It's your first time Fox, it would have been too deep. I didn't want to hurt you."
Handing off the tube he continued: "You need
to stretch me like I did you... and slick yourself, unless you want me to do that
honor?" Mulder took the tube, shook his head.
"If I let you touch me anymore I won't have the chance to find out how this feels."
"No problem." Krycek lifted both palms in a lighthearted 'hands off' gesture. Mulder
squeezed the jelly into his hand once
more, letting it warm between his two palms, then he efficiently coated himself.
Adding more to his hand he said, "Now you."
The sight of Krycek bending forward to lay over the edge of the bed was one
Mulder knew he would remember for a good long
time. He knelt behind him and cupped the sweet rounded flesh in his hands. He
heard a groan and wondered vaguely if it was
his own. He ran his hands over the muscle then dipped his fingers in the crack. The
snug opening was there waiting for him,
begging him to enter as the body moved under his touch. Mulder drew light circles
around the tightly closed hole remembering
how good it felt when it was done to him.
Oh fuck don't tease me, I know I did it to you but I was coaxing you along. Please
don't tease me, I don't need any convincing.
Krycek pushed back against the finger hoping he could convey his need without
words.
Without warning Mulder sank his finger into the snug chamber. It gave easily,
enveloping him in tight hot softness. Slowly he
worked the finger in and out, but the push of Krycek's body back against his hand
and his soft moan of pleasure proved he was
ready for more. Mulder pulled out, replacing one finger with two, found his way in
again. The chamber yielded to his touch, the
moans grew louder, more frenzied.
"Fox, now."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"You're not going to hurt me. Now. Please."
Krycek felt the cockhead against the opening and held his breath... please... do it...
now. Split second of resistance followed
by a red hot tidal rush of sweet fullness. His long low agonized groan nearly
drowned out the startled gasp of "Alex?" from
Mulder's mouth.
Mulder tried to stop but he was losing himself in the sensation of the tight channel
swallowing his cock. He just needed some
assurance that even one of them was going to survive this experience.
"I'm fine baby, Jesus don't stop now... please don't stop..." Krycek bucked hard
against the welcome intrusion, grinding out
another groan as he won some more of Mulder's length. "Come on, oh Christ, come
on all the way..."
Mulder pressed forward, one hand on the small of Krycek's back, grinding his pelvis
even further into the soft folds of the bed
clothes. Mulder tried for the same ruthlessly controlled pace that Krycek used on
him, but the rage of pleasure tearing along his
nerves was driving him forwards, and then Krycek started to jerk and twist against
him, a ferocious tempo that had Mulder
struggling to both resist and respond.
"Not like this, I'll hurt you," Mulder gasped, his hips thrusting against every
movement Krycek made.
"You're not going to hurt me. Oh Jesus please... do it hard."
Mulder's brain was screaming a refusal, but his body was already cooperating. "You
were so careful..." He was gathering up
the ragged shreds of his self restraint, trying to make something of them.
"You were a virgin." Krycek was clenching two handsful of bedsheet as if in agony,
but he was struggling towards Mulder's
thrusts, not away from them. "I'm used to it baby."
Mulder felt something swell inside his chest, some need to do away with Krycek's
assurance. To wipe away the memory of the
other men who pressed themselves into Krycek's pristine flesh and made him
accustomed to this. Mulder took over the brutal
pace that Krycek had set and drove harder.
"Oh Jesus yes... fuck. Do it hard... oh Christ. Yes, come on. Oh please... Fuck, fuck
yes." Krycek was grinding out the words
one after another not knowing what was said and what was thought. He was so
close he could taste it. He fisted the sheets with
his left hand, his right stroking his painfully hard cock.
Mulder slapped his hand over the one clutching the sheets and was greeted with a
death grip. The long elegant fingers
overlapped his shorter square ones until the hands came as close to one as
physically possible. He covered the right hand with
his own, increasing the pressure on the engorged shaft.
An internal flame deep within Krycek rose higher at the intimate touch. Turning his
head he looked into the wide eyes and
leered, teeth bared, lips tight; caught between a grimace and a grin. He tried to form
words, to speak his need but couldn't. His
left hand shot out from under the grip, curling his arm up and back around he
grabbed at the back of Mulder's head, yanking him
close to eye level by his hair.
The pinpoints of pain searing his scalp forced a yelp from Mulder. A protest formed
on his lips only to be eaten by the open
waiting mouth. The double edged sensation of pain and intense pleasure fueled his
own flame and he drove harder and faster in
the hot satin muscle.
Krycek landed the kiss as close to the full mouth as he could, his throat strained
round to reach, while his mind spiraled up to
catch the beginnings of his orgasm. 'He has no idea what this is gonna be like' was
his last coherent thought before his muscles
contracted around Mulder's cock and dragged him into the fray with its milking
motion.
He was right this feels so good, so tight... Mulder's thoughts splintered into bright
points of color as the powerful muscle
squeezed his cock drawing him toward his own shattering orgasm. His heart
pounded, he used up the air in his lungs in one long
keening wail. He grabbed for the outstretched hand and held fast in an effort to
keep a tenuous grip on his sanity. He could do
nothing but lay over the broad back and lose himself in the hot sweet release.
"Oh fuck, oh fuck yes!" Krycek's climax was loud and violent. His body bucked as he
spilled his seed over clean sheets and
joined hands. Sweat glistened and highlighted taut muscles and tendons. Obscenities
catching and breaking between groans and
labored breathing. The final drops shuddered out of his twitching cock and he lay
sated over the edge of the bed basking in the
afterglow of one of the finest orgasms he could ever recall. It was worth it. Every
false start, every anxiety attack, all of the
waiting and wanting, it was all worth it. A soft puff of breath on his neck dragged
him back from his thoughts. "Fox? You okay
baby?" His voice was soft, muffled by the bed clothes.
"Mmmm, yeah but you could have warned me about what happens at the end."
Mulder tried to sound indignant and failed
miserably. He wanted to say more but couldn't find any words to describe what he
felt so there he lay on the warm skin,
soaking up the heat as his body cooled itself down.
"I know, I did think about that but then I got involved in other things." Krycek's
voice conveyed the smile on his face. He
listened to the light even breathing in his ear. "Hey baby... c'mon, you're not as
young as you think and your knees are going to
hurt if you stay like that much longer." No response from Mulder other than a
muffled hum. Krycek lifted one shoulder. "I
want you to fall asleep on me but... not like this, c'mon get up on the bed." He
shifted his position, forcing the other man to
move.
Mulder groaned his agreement, pulled himself onto the bed to lay on his stomach.
He watched through bleary eyes as Krycek
hoisted himself up off his knees, and crawled onto the wet sheets, dragging the
covers with him.
"Alex?" Mulder was dragging a pillow into the crook of his arm, a very faint frown
shading his forehead.
"Yeah baby?" Krycek lay back, having found an only moderately damp patch to
stretch out on.
"I think..." Mulder's face smoothed and his quiet voice trailed off surrendering to the
powerful pull of sleep.
Krycek smiled. Oh yeah... definitely worth it, he thought. He reached to shut off the
light, wrapped himself and his lover in
the warmth of the comforter and let the sounds of light breathing lull him to sleep.
Fox Mulder awoke with the beginnings of a headache only to find himself
surrounded by damp tangled bedclothes. The cloying
and unmistakable scent of sex and sweat hung in the air like a shroud. He realized
he was hungry; cold and hungry, but he felt
the hunger more. He shifted tentatively and sucked in a low groan, his muscles
rebelling fiercely at the movement. He was sore,
really sore. He felt aches in places he didn't know existed. Well no, I knew they
existed last night but they didn't hurt then, at
least not like this, he silently amended. Once fully awake he came to the conclusion
only the front half of him was cold, the
other half was pleasantly warm. He scooted backwards into the warmth and felt a
soft moist breath on his neck. An arm
loosely curled itself around his side and a hand strayed perilously close to his groin.
Oh well, I'm not that hungry, he reasoned. A distracted smile played over his lips
while he stroked and petted the warm
golden skin.
Streetlights and shop signs across the way cast an eerie glow into the semi-darkened
room. Mulder looked around and took in
the assorted clothing haphazardly strewn across the room. Oh my God... what a
night. Are we going to regret this move in the
light of day? He pushed away the nagging thought, drew in a deep breath and
released it as a long sigh.
Mulder focused on a shimmery gleam near the nightstand and leaned over for a
closer inspection: a shirt button. Memories of
the previous night flooded back, bringing another ache. This one was welcomed: it
was heavy and sweet and centered squarely
in his groin, dangerously close to the stilled hand.
It had started with a kiss.
His thoughts did a slow rewind over the past 12 hours.
He moaned softly as his body fought against the shift of positions from side to back.
He ran his hands through his tangled hair
and scrubbed them down his face. Owww! Jesus... what the hell... lightly he
touched the skin of his left cheek. That's hot... it
burns, he thought. Turning his head in Krycek's direction he looked at the sleeping
man; his skin washed pale in the ghostly
light. His eyes came to rest on the dark cast over the handsome face and jawline. It
made Krycek look older, more dangerous.
Yeah, like he needs more help in that department. Mulder smiled his appreciation of
both the man and the thoughts. Leaning
over he lightly smoothed the backs his fingers up the fine features feeling the
stubble rake under them. Sure... that could do it,
he gave a rueful shake of his head, quickly pulling his fingers away as the sleeping
figure stirred.
Krycek's naked body stretched with a languid sensuous fluid motion; the comforter
fell away exposing the sleek well defined
lines.
Mulder stared in rapt attention as the muscular body flexed, cat like, and awoke.
Darkened eyes glittered to life under darker
lashes, a soft tongue snaked out to moisten dry lips. "Hey... come'ere, baby, it's not
even daylight yet... go back to sleep", his
voice and tongue, still slow from sleep, husked the request. A strong hand reached
out to take Mulder's wrist, pulling him
closer.
Mulder leaned low to kiss the nearest cheek, feeling the stubble scrape his lips. Oh
yeah, that could definitely do it, he thought
as he touched his own face once more. He slid down until he was level with
Krycek's eyes, lowering his own from the deep
searching stare.
Oh no baby, don't turn away, please don't think this was wrong when it was
obviously so right. Krycek held his breath, his
long tapered fingers stroked the side of Mulder's face drawing the lowered eyes
back to his own. "Regrets?" Krycek's voice
barely a whisper. Please say no, I could take anything but regret. He kept quiet
waiting for an answer.
Mulder smiled. "No, no regrets." The smile vanished. "You?" His voice danced along
the edge of pain.
"Me? Regrets? I barely know the meaning of the word!" Krycek slid his hand to the
back of Mulder's neck pulling him closer.
"No baby, no regrets. Not about this. I've wanted you for a long time." He saw
anxiety creep into the wide expressive hazel
eyes. You are going to lose that haunted look if I have to fuck you blind, he
mentally pledged, though he wisely he kept his
thoughts to himself.
Kissing Mulder softly he whispered "Shhh baby, one step at a time. We'll talk about
it in the morning. C'mon now, lay down
next to me and let's get some sleep."
~end~
These Men of Honor IV
by Phyre
Fox Mulder awoke with the beginnings of a headache only to find himself
surrounded by damp tangled bedclothes. The cloying
and unmistakable scent of sex and sweat hung in the air like a shroud. He realized
he was hungry; cold and hungry, but he felt
the hunger more. He shifted tentatively and sucked in a low groan, his muscles
rebelling fiercely at the movement. He was sore,
really sore. He felt aches in places he didn't know existed. Well no, I knew they
existed last night but they didn't hurt then, at
least not like this, he silently amended. Once fully awake he came to the conclusion
only the front half of him was cold, the
other half was pleasantly warm. He scooted backwards into the warmth and felt a
soft moist breath on his neck. An arm
loosely curled itself around his side and a hand strayed perilously close to his groin.
