by Nonie Rider
I don't want to play Evil Collaborator or Heroic Rebel, cowboys and
indians, any of that shit. That's your game, so go play it well and give
me my fucking life back. Go save the world.
I like the world just fine, you know? A tough guy can have a lot of fun
in it, scrapping and surviving and getting some of his own back. If you
don't mind a little blood and mess, you can have a lot of fun.
Yes, I killed your fucking father. Perfect job, up close where I could
see him panic, and I put that bullet just where I wanted it. Lived long
enough to keep you busy, and I bet he gave you some nice new memories.
Special delivery, Mulder, just from me.
And the pay was fucking sweet.
Yeah, I'm a liar and a traitor and a coward; you nailed that right.
Fear's what keeps me sharp, and it's such a fucking high when it's over.
Rat bastard too. I'm proud of that one. Rats are tough and nasty, and
we survive anything. Tangle with a rat, you're gonna walk away bleeding.
You think it was easy growing up a girly-faced immigrant kid from the
wrong part of town? I wasn't a big kid either. Couldn't fight the jocks
and bullies, not directly, but I damn well learned how to get back at
them. Taught 'em to leave me the fuck alone. Two of 'em—well, they
never found the bodies, did they.
Some guys just barely survive, you know? They steal and they whine and
they drink too much. Me, I'm so fucking good at surviving I even get
paid for it.
You can't imagine the high, Mulder. I get to be sly and tough; I get
the blood and the fear and the kill; I get to watch some asshole realize
he's gonna die; I get to win and live and walk away, and then they give
me money. Nothing like it.
Sex is good too, of course. I don't care whether I'm giving it or
taking it; there's nothing like having some stuffy bastard up your ass
and knowing he's going to die. Who's fucking who, asshole? Shove my hot
bullet into you and make you take it, make you come blood and die.
Yeah, Mulder, I want you. So? I've wanted a shitload of things in my
time, but wanting keeps you sharp. It's the hungry rat who's most
dangerous. And you and me—hell, we couldn't be together ten minutes
without somebody getting real dead.
If they ever say the word, though... Jesus, Mulder, I'd shove my
fucking gun up you so far I'd make you suck it from the inside. I hope
they won't want a sniper job; I want to see your eyes when you see me
coming. And if they don't need your body left around for evidence—God,
I could have fun.
Hell, if I gotta go down, I hope that's you too. I'd be taking it in
the gut or up the ass from somebody who actually cares. Hate's a real
prize, you know; I'm proud of winning it. But if you want to take me
down, you'd better be tougher than I am, and I don't think you are.
You're no fox. Foxes are survivors, like coyotes and rats. You're just
some overbred racehound who can't even hunt. But this is your fucking
race, not mine, so get the hell on with it and save the world.
I've got plans for it.
Rat Bastard
Look, Mulder, I don't even want this crap, okay? Aliens, viruses, the
end of the world as we know it—give me a break. So get off your sorry
ass and do something about it. 
