"Beth—"
"You might as well call me Samantha. Everyone else does."
She sipped her drink. "Why are you here, Alex?"
He sat down hard. "I wanted to talk."
She nodded. "Great. What do you want to talk about?
Sports? The weather?" She pretended to think. "Hmm. How about
my brother?"
"He's upset, Beth."
"I can imagine. It all must be really hard on him." She downed
her glass. "Go home, Alex."
The intercom at the door buzzed. "Ah," she said. "My cab.
Sorry, babe, but I was just going out."
"Cab?"
"Uh-huh. I never drink and drive. Pet peeve." She grabbed a
handbag and slipped into her shoes. "And I plan on going out and
getting wildly drunk. Hell," she laughed, "maybe I'll just get lost
again."
"Beth—" he grabbed her arm.
She twisted away. "Don't worry, Alex. I don't think I could.
Not without some help, anyway. That seems to be the way it goes." She
opened the door. "Go home. Tell him I'm fine. Tell him I'm terrible.
I don't care. Just go."
"Want some company?"
"I don't need a chaperone." She smiled after a moment. "Well,
maybe I do, but I'm certainly old enough to refuse one."
He bent his arm towards her. "Bottleneck?"
"My god you're a pain in the ass sometimes!" she laughed.
"Okay. But I swear, I'm going to ditch you if you start to drag me
down."
"Fair enough."
Alex woke up the next morning with the unmistakable feeling of
having a small dead animal in his mouth. He groaned, rolled over,
and slid his arms around Mulder for warmth.
Only, it wasn't Mulder that he was lying beside. At least, not
the right Mulder.
"Fuck!" he said, sitting bolt upright, and groaning again as a
wave of nausea flowed over him.
"Not quite," Beth said, turning over. "Not for lack of trying,
though," she smiled, and slid out of the bed, wrapping a robe around
herself. She walked into the bathroom, ran the water, and came
back out with a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water.
"Why do you look so good this morning?" he groaned.
She beamed at him. "I told to take the aspirin before you
went to bed. It always pre-empts the hangover before it can start."
She plopped down beside him. "Poor baby. What do you
remember?"
"Not a lot," he said, swallowing the aspirin, and looking
speculatively at the bottle. Nope, only fifty. Not nearly enough to
cure or kill him.
"Well we did go to Bottleneck," she said. "Where you were
extremely popular. I successfully fended off most of your admirers,
however. Then, after consuming half of the gin available in this city,
we came back here."
"Where we—" Alex prodded.
"Where you became somewhat amorous, and, sufficiently
intoxicated myself, I decided to give in to you."
"And?"
"Well, either you're unbelievably gay, I'm not nearly as
attractive as I think I am, or we were both too drunk for anything to
happen. I vote for 'c', myself."
He sighed. "Beth, I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I would have enjoyed it, but in retrospect, it probably
would have been a mistake."
He leaned back in the bed, then bolted upright for a second
time. "Fuck!"
"Now what?"
"Mulder."
"You called him twice last night. God, you really don't
remember, do you? I'm sure he thinks you're here."
"This is so not good."
"Alex, relax," she soothed him. "It'll be fine. You'll go home,
you'll both apologize for whatever fight you had, and you'll get to
have make-up sex."
"We didn't have a fight."
"So why were you here last night? And don't tell me it was
because you were worried about me, because I know you care, but
going out was not just about keeping me company."
He said nothing, so she patted his arm. "Okay. You don't have
to tell me. Believe me, I know what it's like."
"Beth—"
"Go home, Alex," she laughed. "And never speak of this.
Nothing happened, nobody needs to know, okay? We got drunk, and
crashed. That's all." She kissed him on the cheek. "Please take this
in the right way—you're cuter than hell, but you're like a brother to
me. And that's the way it should stay."
"Will you marry me?"
"In a second, babe—if Fox ever gets stupid enough to really let
you get away." She stood up. "Go, shower. Breakfast?" she
grinned evilly.
He groaned, pulling the covers up over his head.
Remarkably enough, the shower did make him feel better. Not
good enough to consider food, but good enough to re-consider the
whole death thing. He walked out into the kitchen, to find Beth sitting
at the kitchen table—with Mulder.
"Hi," he said.
"Hi."
"Well, that was scintillating," Beth said, dryly. "Change your
mind about breakfast?"
"Ugh, no. Thanks. I'll have some coffee, though."
"Coming up."
"You okay?" Mulder asked, concerned.
Alex nodded. "Just blowing off some steam with your sister."
"You should have been there, Fox. We neatly split the room—
half for him, half for me."
"Popular, eh?"
"Oh, definitely. I had to beat them off of him with a stick. Of
course, he was ever-so loyal." She smiled at him. "I've got to find
me someone like that."
Alex smiled at her, grateful. "Did I tell you I was coming here
last night?"
"Actually," Mulder said, a little sheepishly. "I came to talk to
Beth."
"I could leave you alone—"
"Don't be silly," Beth stopped him. "We're all family here.
Besides, I know what you're going to say," she turned to Mulder, "and
the answer is no. I'm not going to talk to her. I hardly think that she
wants to speak with me, anyway."
"Don't you want to know—"
"Does it really make a difference, after all this time?" she
sighed. "It was twenty years ago. It's all done, and it can't be
undone. Whatever she did, she had a reason for. I'm sure she even
thought it was a good reason. Maybe she still does."
"She did it for me. She threw you away for me."
"So what do I say to that? What can she say that will make any
difference?" She took his hand. "I don't blame you. You were a kid
- we were both kids. Whatever happened to us, happened to us,
not because of us. God," she laughed, shaking her head, "I wonder
if any of them had any idea what they were doing to us back then. I
wonder if they cared."
"But if I—"
"No," she said. "I said some things that I did last night because
I was angry, and hurt. I'm still hurt. But none of this was your fault.
Don't do this to yourself."
"I don't know how you deal with this so well."
"I don't have any other choice. It's deal with it, or don't. Very
cut and dried. Frankly, I don't think that analysing it or hearing all of
the thousands of reasons is ever going to make it any better. Maybe,
deep down, I just don't want to know."
He nodded his head. She smiled at him. "I know you're not
going to let this go. I guess we're not so similar after all, are we?"
"I can't."
"I know. She's your mother, but she hasn't been mine for a
long time. Do what you have to do."
"But leave you out of it."
She nodded. "Pretty much, yeah. Unless you think I should
know something. I don't know. Tell me, don't tell me. You decide."
"What about Dr. Hanson?"
"God, I hadn't even thought about that." She sat still for a few
moments. "I need some time. I just need a break right now."
"Okay. It's your call."
"Thanks. I'll let you know when I want to go back." She stood
up. "I'm going to get dressed." She hugged both of them. "Let
yourselves out, okay?"
"Sure."
She stopped at the doorway. "Oh, and Alex? Thanks for last
night."
They drank most of the pot of coffee in near-silence.
"I didn't mean to stay out all last night, you know."
"You called. I understand. It's okay."
"Beth told me. To tell the truth, I don't remember half of what
happened last night."
"I'm sure she took care of you."
Alex smiled. "Yeah, so she said."
Mulder raised an eyebrow.
"Someday, when we're old and gray, I'll tell you. Just not right
now."
"Fair enough." He took another sip of his coffee. "I'm sorry if
I've been pushing you lately," he said, quietly. "I've just had a feeling
that something is wrong, and I worry about you."
"I know. I'm sorry. It's difficult."
"Are you in trouble? Is it something that I should know about?"
"No, nothing like that. It's just—some things in my past that I
have to work out. I'll let you know when I can." He looked at Mulder
a little sadly. "I know I'm not being very fair, but don't think that I'm
shutting you out. I want to be able to tell you everything. I just need
some time."
"Some time apart?" Mulder asked, quietly.
"God no! Is that what you want?"
"I just thought, if I'm pushing too hard—"
Alex came beside him and pulled him up hard into his arms.
"No, no," he whispered, kissing him. "You're wonderful. You're the
best thing in my life. I love you."
"I know." Mulder's smile was a little sad.
"Hey," Alex said, hugging him harder. "With everything that
we've been through, we'll survive this. We're working together, now.
We clear this up, and then we go away and just be together. I'm
holding you to your promise."
Mulder groaned. "Sometime in this lifetime, I hope."
Alex laughed. "Definitely. Love me?"
"Always."
He had a meeting with Skinner first thing at work. 10am, in the AD's
office. He felt like a schoolboy at the principal's office.
Except for the fact that he couldn't quite get the memory of
Walter Skinner whooping it up at his bachelor party, with a very
buxom young cocktail waitress on his lap, out of his mind. He
attempted to wipe the grin from his face.
He was kept waiting for a few minutes, which was unusual.
What Skinner said when he came into the office was even more
unusual.
"Agent Mulder, I'm sorry to call you in on such short notice, but
I needed to speak with you about something."
"If this is about the Feller case, I haven't got the report finished
yet, sir."
"No, this isn't about any of the X-Files cases. It's not even
Bureau business. It's—personal."
Mulder frowned. "Personal, sir?"
Skinner sighed, looking quite uncomfortable. "Yes. I was given
a messengered package this morning when I came in. That's why I
was late coming in, I wanted to find out the point of origin."
Mulder looked puzzled. "May I ask what was in the package?"
"I think you should read it for yourself." He handed over the
plain envelope to Mulder. "Everything's been tested already. We
didn't get anything off of it."
He nodded and took the package. Inside were photostats of
photos, some official-looking documents, some public records. A few
of the sheets were in Russian, some in English. All were about Alex.
He shot Skinner a glance before he started to read those he
could understand. The AD was scrupulously avoiding his gaze.
He read through the sheets in silence, absorbing what he
could, trying to interpret some of the more obscure passages in a few
of them. The last document that he came to was a marriage license.
One with Alex's name on it.
"Sam," he said, finally.
"Pardon me?" Skinner asked, surprised.
"This is just the same sort of thing that they sent Samantha.
An envelope, with copied documents in it. It's the same thing."
"And those were authentic."
Mulder nodded. "Yes. I'm sure these are, too. You said that
you had no luck in tracing them?"
"No. We don't have an i.d. on the messenger, either.
Apparently he slipped through our famously tight security."
"So why send these to you?"
Skinner shrugged. "I have no idea."
"Obviously whomever is doing this wants you involved." He
stood. "I think I should go talk to Alex."
"I think that's a good idea. Take the day." He was a little
concerned about how calm the young man seemed to be about all of
this, but decided it was best just to let him deal with it.
He called Alex from his office before he left, and asked him to meet
him at home.
"Hey," Alex said, kissing him, "what's going on?"
Mulder kissed him back, and handed him the envelope.
As if sensing what was inside, Alex took it gingerly. He stole a
glance at Mulder before he opened it, and sat down hard on the
couch when he saw what was inside. "Damn," he said. "Damn."
"This is what you couldn't tell me?"
He nodded. "I don't know what's going on, Mulder. I thought it
was over, but it's not."
"I was assuming that it's all true."
"Yes. Did you have it translated?"
Mulder shook his head. "There wasn't time. Skinner just gave
it to me an hour ago."
"Skinner?"
"Someone sent it to him this morning."
Alex flipped through the sheaf. "Birth certificate, training
records, military service," he said, translating easily. "Marriage
license. We would get married in London." He leaned back and shut
his eyes. "So what now?"
"Now we figure out what's going on."
"We?"
Mulder paused. "You don't believe that I love you, do you?"
"Anyone else would be long gone."
"Anyone else wouldn't know what they were missing. Anyone
else wouldn't know what you taste like, what it's like to be inside you.
Anyone else wouldn't know what it's like to wake up in the morning in
your arms. Anyone else might be able to imagine a life without you."
Alex's finely-held control seemed to visibly collapse. "God, I
love you," he managed to say through his tears.
"I know," Mulder said, holding him.
They sat there quietly together for quite a while, before they both
calmed down enough to speak again.
"I feel better, somehow."
"It's hard to keep secrets," Mulder said.
"I didn't lie to you—my parents were immigrants, but I was, too.
I wasn't born here. I went back to Russia when I was sixteen, after
being here for ten years."
"You went into the service there?"
"Uh-huh. I was recruited to work in special forces from the
army."
"They made you a double agent?"
"At first. It was easy for me, having grown up here, to project
the whole first-generation American thing."
"And then?"
"After about two years back in the states, I defected. It was
simple. I ended up at the Bureau—they knew my entire background,
and fashioned me a new identity. Only the Consortium didn't know
that they knew, when they recruited me to work for them. They used
my past as blackmail."
"And the Bureau sanctioned your working for them, to try to
bring down the Consortium," Mulder said. "They never found out?"
"No. I wouldn't have lived if they had. Smoking man would
have killed me himself."
"So you were a double agent again. And that's when you came
and started giving me the information on Cancerman."
"Uh-huh."
"And your Russian superiors—they just let you go?"
"At first. I should have known that it was too easy. They were
keeping close tabs on me. They had a female agent assigned to me
specifically."
"So how did you find out about that?"
"We had a history. They were counting on her loyalty to them.
She had a little left for me, though."
"And she told you about the surveillance."
Alex nodded. "Juda—" he started.
The name triggered something in Mulder's memory. "Judalon
Zawarska. The woman who's name was on the marriage license."
"Yes," Alex agreed. "She's my wife."
Before he could ask anything else, Mulder's cell phone rang.
"Mulder."
"Hi, it's me."
"Scully," he said.
"I was wondering if you were all right."
"You talked with Skinner, then," he said, glancing at Alex.
"He came home about an hour ago. I think we should talk
about this, if you're up to it."
"I think you're right. I'll pick up Beth and be there in about an
hour."
"We'll be expecting you, then."
Once they were at Skinner's, Mulder gave Beth the package. It took
her all of two minutes to say it. "Hey, this is like mine," she said,
turning it in her hands, before she opened it up.
Mulder nodded. "We are related. It's specific enough to be
noticed, and generic enough never to be traced."
"But why send it to Walter?"
He shrugged.
"If it had gone to Alex, you'd probably never have seen it," she
mused, giving him a glance. "And sending it you would have made it
a private matter. Obviously whoever's doing this wants all of us
involved. But why?"
"Would you be interested in a job?" Walter asked her.
She laughed. "It's in the genes, apparently. Or some of them,
anyway."
"That still doesn't tell us what's going on here," Dana said.
Alex finally spoke. "I had a job last week," he said, glancing at
Mulder. "It was a request. From Juda."
"Personal?" Mulder asked.
"No. I found some information for her. Nothing illegal," he said,
hurriedly. "Nothing that couldn't be done by anyone with a little time
on their hands."
"So why ask you?"
"To let me know that I'm not out. That they're still keeping tabs
on me. I've gotten used to that. Now, it seems, they're keeping a
watch on all of us."
"But why?" Beth asked. "If they were the ones who sent the
information on me, why now? Why bring this all up again?"
"I don't know. But this," he picked up the envelope, "leads me
to believe that we're going to find out."
"I don't like this," Beth said. "Whoever is doing this is pulling
strings in all of our lives. I thought that you had gotten rid of them."
"I thought we had, too," Dana said. "Apparently, Cancerman
was just the beginning."
"Juda's been in contact with you?" Mulder asked Alex.
"A few weeks ago. I saw her, gave her some information. She
contacted me again last week, indirectly."
"How?" Dana asked.
"She sent me divorce papers. We've been apart for seven
years now. She's met someone, and wants a divorce."
"I can't believe I'm having an affair with a married man," Mulder
said.
Beth started to laugh. "Oh my god," she said. "We are related.
I was thinking exactly the same thing."
Dana wrinkled her nose at them. "Having a really horrendous
sense of humour must be a family trait."
"There's no other way to explain his ties," Beth said, and made
them all laugh.
"You know, you're right," Mulder said, calming down. "We
either deal with this stuff, or we don't."
"I cannot believe how zen you're getting, Mulder," Dana said.
"He's right, though," Beth said. "It's like I told you. It's
really not that difficult. You figure things out and deal with them.
It's all we can do. So, what do we do now?"
"I guess all we can do is wait. Until we hear something else,
that is."
"What an anti-climax."
"Sorry, sis," he said, kissing her on top of the head. "I'll save
the dramatic shoot-outs for later."
They were home and in bed when Mulder turned to him. "So you're
divorced now?"
"Yeah. It wasn't even a real marriage, actually. We were
ordered to get married for an assignment."
Mulder raised an eyebrow. "Too bad Scully and I didn't have a
boss like yours."
Alex laughed. "I doubt that Skinner wishes the same thing."
"You're probably right. No more secrets?"
"Not if I can help it," he said. "You forgive me?"
"I don't have any choice. I don't want to lose you. Think how
happy that would make my mother."
"So basically what you're telling me is that we're staying
together solely to punish your mother."
"Yup."
"I can live with that."
"Good. Besides, we bought all the furniture together, and we'd
have to split it all up."
"And decide who gets the apartment."
"Yeah. It's much easier just to stay together."
"Good." He turned and slid up against Mulder. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being insane enough to love me in the first place, and for
being strong enough to keep loving me now."
"Hey," he said, kissing Alex. "I come from a long line of
insanity. It's a proud family tradition."
"And the strength?"
"I'm just stubborn. I hate to admit defeat."
Alex chuckled. "Don't ever change."
"Oh, it's far too late for that, baby, believe me. You're stuck
with me."
"Poor me," he sighed. "Poor us."
Juda
by Mona Ramsey
She opened the door, and started laughing as she saw him there.
She ushered him in with a sweep of her hand. "Drink?" she asked,
pouring herself one.
