"Hit me with your quivering love dart, Mulder!"
"What!?" Mulder squawked, staring in disbelief at the reclining figure
on his couch. Alex Krycek was stark naked and was holding a small green
cylinder in his lap.
"Come on, big boy! You know you want to! Pull out your quivering weapon
and pierce my hot depths!"
Mulder blushed. Though he undeniably had repressed feelings of desire
for Alex Krycek, he had never had the courage to act on them.
"What the hell are you on, Krycek. Drugs?"
"Wouldn't you like to know, you hot stud!"
In truth, Mulder did feel hot. Maybe the central heating was
malfunctioning again. Alex pointed the nozzle of the cylinder at him and
squirted some of the gas it contained at Mulder. Immediately, the potent
mixture took effect. The two men closed in on each other until they were
closer than a limpet and the rock it was sticking to. Their clothes
disappeared along the line somewhere, probably falling into a black hole
and being compressed to something a bit smaller than a pin head. All
Mulder ever found was a single sock with a hole in. He wasn't even sure
it was his.
"Oh Alex, dearest! I love you so much. Come here and suck my nuts, you
sweet muffin."
Alex did. Inevitably, there were a few physical responses. Mulder's
nipples went "ping" and took on the shape of little pink pebbles. His
cock rose like a flag climbing a flagpole. Indeed, it may even have
resembled a certain famous building in New York with a flagpole on top.
(You know, the one that King Kong swung from.)
"Ooooh Mulder. You are a big boy and no mistake..... " Alex began to
apply his tongue liberally to the sensitive areas around Mulder's bush.
Mulder's cock began to weep and stood smartly to attention. Alex left
that bit until last. He pushed Mulder onto his back and he sucked the
potato shaped head into his mouth and let it tickle his tonsils. He
blessed his former career as a sword swallower in a Russian circus. That
gas was certainly handy stuff. He pumped Mulder's fire hose with his
throat engine, and when Mulder came, he even sounded a bit like a fire
truck on an emergency call. The neighbours evacuated the building by
mistake. Again.
Alex decided it was time for him to have something out of this, other
than swallowing Mulder's bitter love juice, so he flipped Mulder onto
his stomach and slid his own prodigious member home in ecstasy, like a
sword slipping into a well made leather sheath. Mulder didn't know why,
but he was really enjoying himself.
"Oh yeah Alex! Fill me. Pump me up like an inflatable tyre! Stick your
big nozzle in there. Make me bark like a dog with your big elephant's
trunk!"
Alex did. Twice. To the extent that Mulder received a warning note about
keeping pets the next week from his landlord.
Afterwards, they lay together, panting like long distance runners who've
just run the London Marathon. Mulder got very depressed, because he had
to go in to work tomorrow, instead of spending the day having fun with
Alex's generous column and woolly balls. He kissed them affectionately.
"Let me play with your love tube Alex." Alex was of course, generous
about this. Mind you, who wouldn't be? Anyway, the rest of the night was
more leisurely, since they were both getting a bit tired after their
tenth orgasm. Mulder just knew it was love though, and proposed marriage
half way through the seventh. Alex got all giggly, and called him names
like sweetheart and precious and love-bundle, like you do in such
circumstances. They had exchanged rings and had each other's names
tattooed on their chests by morning. Though perhaps Fox should have
shaved his first.
They lived happily ever after, buying a big house with roses round the
door, to the considerable surprise of everyone in the F.B.I. and spent
the rest of their lives making lots of money recording tapes for sound
effect companies.
"That gas was very effective sir." The young consortium trainee said to
the Smoking man, as they viewed the surveillance tapes. "What was in
it?"
"Didn't you recognise it?" The older man smiled smugly. "It was a most
lethal mixture. Distilled essence of romantic fiction, bad slashfic and
the section of the Oxford Complete Thesaurus dealing with long pointy
objects. Send a tube of it to A.D. Skinner next week!"
End of sillyfic. Thank goodness!
A pole-ish silly snippet
by Megaera
Mulder got quite a surprise when he arrived home one evening.
