First time for me
And it feels like this is the end
The End
After the kiss, I sat numbly on my living room floor, ruminating on
its meaning, nearly forgetting what was spoken about the Consortium.
Then I spent some time contemplating why the kiss took precedence
over learning the truth. A new search began that evening. It took me
to places I was scared to go; places that I thought were hidden in
the dark. I discovered that I could feel something other than hate
for a certain man.
Alex Krycek had never been an easy guy to like. We met under tense
circumstances; accusations
of tenacity and naiveté were thrown back and forth. Admittedly, he
was accurate about my
stubbornness, while I secretly admired his eagerness. I was pleased
to finally have a partner that
didn't discredit all my theories, and Krycek became someone I could
trust.
Unfortunately, he soon taught me you can't trust anyone. He turned
out to be double agent,
working towards destroying me. His disappearance was both a relief
and a frustration. I didn't
want to see the bastard again, but I was desperate for the
truth...for the reasons behind his
deception.
Will the real Alex Krycek please stand up?
His shadow loomed over me, as I uncovered half-truths about the
government. That shadow turned to ice the day my father was murdered.
Krycek would feel the sharpness of my anger every time our paths
crossed; nothing could melt my determination to make him suffer. I
took pleasure in transferring some of my pain onto Krycek's body. My
emotional pain became his physical bruising. Blinded by hate, I never
noticed the resignation in his eyes or my lack of injuries after such
encounters.
We both knew I'd used him in Tunguska. I dragged him there just to
prove that I had the upper
hand in an unvoiced struggle of desire versus deception. It's hard to
accept your deepest and darkest fantasies when cold hard facts of
betrayal are thrown in your face. You can learn a lot rooting through
the garbage with the rats. My father lost his chance to throw out his
trash, so it sat rotting away until I stumbled into the mess. I had
never doubted that Krycek was my father's murderer, but in time his
death became a blessing. And Krycek was the messenger.
My internal stopwatch froze the evening I came across Alex Krycek in
the park. Finding him meant I no longer had to think of our turbulent
past, I could possibly make amends. With a brief kiss, he started a
wave of introspection which made me acknowledge that our past
comprised little of hate, as I previously assumed. I wanted to stop
thinking of all that went wrong, and begin to make things right. I
wanted to let go of the past that haunts us both.
Krycek sat on a bench, just out of reach from the glare of the park
light, but the moon provided
me with enough glow to see his silhouette. There was no mistaking his
frame, packaged in denim and leather, looking arrogant and sexy at
the same time. His posture was casual, but I knew he was always as
alert as a cat...watching and waiting for the chance to pounce. I
stood no chance at sneaking up behind him, however I found myself
walking toward him, trying to be discreet.
My heart was racing as I closed the distance between us. Krycek gave
no indiction that he knew I
was creeping behind him. I reached for my holster hidden under my
shirt, but I didn't pull out
my gun. Instead I placed my hand on his shoulder, quickly bent over
and...licked his ear.
Startled, Krycek sprung from the bench, his hand flying to his ear to
violently wipe away the
moisture. The sight of him rocketing off the bench made me wonder
about his state of mind.
Aren't assassins suppose to be cool and collected? His wayward
motion gave me opportunity
to move from behind the bench. His leather jacket was bunched up, and
I saw no visible
gun, although that didn't comfort me. He could've had a knife in his
boot or even some elaborate James Bond-ish weapon tucked up his
sleeve. However, I decided to take my chances and moved even closer.
That's when I noticed his most dangerous weapon. His eyes. Those
beautiful, deep sea green eyes which were staring at me in shock. I
found myself getting lost in their depths.
"Shit, Mulder. What are you doing?" Krycek asked in a husky voice
which snapped me from my underwater adventure.
I blinked to clear my head, then grinned. "Just returning the favour,
Krycek."
"The favour? I..." He stopped mid-sentence and his eyes flashed with
recognition. A slight blush crept up his cheeks.
"Mulder. I...that...umm....that was a Russian thing....." He trailed
off, looking very embarrassed.
"You're cute when you're flustered."
That declaration unnerved him even more, and he blushed again. He
looked away, shoving his
hands in his jeans pockets. I was enjoying the game of making Alex
Krycek uncomfortable. He
never failed to unleash the worst in me. If I wasn't hurting him with
fists, my words made him
shrink away. It was time...and I was ready...to start something new.
"C'mon. Let's go somewhere else, and you can tell me all about this
Russian thing."
He stiffened and turned his head to stare at me. I watched as those
beautiful eyes turned darker
while his body tensed up. He looked ready to fight...or run. It was a
stance I was all too familiar
with.
"Is this a new arresting technique, Mulder? I am a wanted felon,
you know."
"Is that why you're sitting out in the open? Do you want to be
caught? I thought you had a world
to save."
"We. You and I, Mulder. I can't do that alone. Besides, my priorities
have changed."
"Oh?" I was surprised by his change of heart. He was so passionate
that night in my apartment. I
was motivated to kick some alien butt. I knew how his speech had
altered the last seven days of
my life, I wondered what had happened to him. His bitterness was
alarming.
He glanced around as if contemplating his next move, shrugged then
started walking. I followed
him. Krycek made no gesture to show whether he knew or cared that I
was a few steps behind.
We walked silently through the park, and I had noticed that we were
going toward my apartment
block. That's where I wanted to end up, but I was surprised that
Krycek had led me there. I
doubted his intentions were the same as mine. Were they? I
smiled when the perfect scenario of what could happen in my apartment
came to mind, but how I found Krycek kept nagging at me.
"Who were you waiting for?" My voice sounded hollow after the long
silence. Krycek met my
question with an icy glare.
"What makes you think I was waiting for someone? Can't someone enjoy
an evening in the
park?"
"Not if that someone is you, Krycek. You always have another agenda."
Krycek spun around and
got right in my face.
"So what? What do you want, Mulder? I'm not in the mood for your
little mind fucks, " he
snapped. He gave me a shove to prove his point, and I automatically
raised my fist in retaliation. He tensed, expecting the blows I would
not deliver anymore.
So much for the perfect scenario.
My stomach clenched as I realized how quickly I resorted to my old
ways. I lowered my fist
slowly, and stole a quick glance at Krycek. He was standing there,
intently watching me with
his eyes narrowed.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"Why? You have another punching bag now?"
"No. I don't want to do that to you anymore."
Krycek's jaw dropped in surprise, but the apprehension remained in
his eyes. Now, I just had to
convince him of the truth. No easy task as I'm sure his mind...and
body...still remembered my
furious attacks. I moved closer, trapping him against a store front
window.
"Hear me out, Alex." I startled us both by using his first name. I
hadn't done that since we were
partners. Either my style of persuasion had improved or Krycek was
too stunned to think
straight, but I sighed in relief when he nodded.
"After you left my apartment, I came to the realization that my anger
shouldn't have been
directed at you, although my fists were. I was angry at our
situation. You were set up to take the
fall, and to make sure I was pulled down with you. But, we're both
still here and there's no
denying how that happened."
I was close enough to hear his breath quicken as he took a dry
swallow. I raised my right hand
again, but to flick aside a stray strand of hair from Alex's eyes. I
left my hand on his face to
gently caress his flushed cheekbone. "You saved us. Why?"
Under my touch, I felt Alex shudder and watched as he regained his
composure. He licked his
lips, swallowed again, then opened his mouth only to quickly shut it
again. I saw him fighting his
desire to speak, so I prodded him gently.
"Alex. What is it? Please tell me."
"I," he paused, glancing away but keeping his head still. I hadn't
removed my hand, as I felt
Alex nuzzle into my palm. I rubbed my thumb across his earlobe,
bringing his attention back to
me.
"I was only saving you, Mulder."
It was my turn to be taken aback. I had never expected such a honest
admission, considering I had him confined against a wall, leaving no
escape. Until that night, there was no reason for him to believe that
I wouldn't hurt him again. Was he suffering from the same doubts
I'd had? I
figured there was only one way to know for sure. As I leaned forward,
I lifted his chin slightly to brush my lips lightly against his. When
I pulled away, his tongue slipped out to lick away the
moisture. My cock rose in approval of that response. In return, I
gave him another kiss, nipping at his lips and trying to probe deeper
inside, but Alex pulled away.
"What are you doing, Mulder?" That question again, but with a softer
tone that made my cock
twitch.
"Trying to get you home, Alex. Will you come?"
He responded by taking my hand in his, and lowered it to the front of
his jeans. I felt his arousal,
as he growled, "Yeah, I think so."
He didn't let go of my hand as we traveled the last few blocks to my
apartment. In the elevator,
we remained silent. Alex rubbed his thumb across the back of my hand
while I stared at our entwined fingers, shocked that my perfect
scenario was working out after all.
Inside my apartment, I stopped just inside the door. Before Alex
could attempt to end the hand
holding, I brought his hand up to kiss a faded scar I had located
earlier in the elevator. I
glanced up to see him staring at me, his bottom lip caught between
his teeth. The look sent a jolt
right to my groin, despite seeing a flash of uncertainty in Alex's
eyes. But he kept my gaze, and I noticed his jaw clenching in
contemplation.
"Do you want this, Alex?"
It had to be real for the both of us. The guilt I had over beating
him, coupled with the seduction
would tear me apart. I moved my right hand up to his shoulder,
letting my fingers caress his arm.
He then nodded his consent, and I repeated the action with my another
hand, so we ended up
looking like a reluctant dance pair. I led him backward to the couch,
slipping off his jacket in
the process. When Alex's legs hit the couch, he lowered himself down,
pulling me along with a
tight grasp of the front of my shirt. We knocked heads and I laughed
into his hairline. He
laughed too, but it ended in a muffled groan. I raised my head to
find myself staring into a lustful
gaze, that no doubt resembled my own.
I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his sweaty brow. His
skin tasted salty and sweet at
the same time. His nipples tightened in appreciation as my hands
roamed his shirt clad chest.
I stopped my ministrations when Alex placed his hands on top of mine,
and spoke softly, "I think we need to get this under way, Mulder." He
placed my hands in his lap, and reached for the corners of his shirt,
pulling it off quickly.
I immediately went back to worshiping his body, placing small kisses
on his collarbone, down
his chest to his erect nipples. Alex encouraged me to continue,
nuzzling my hair with his chin
and moving my head further down his body. I was no longer sure who
was seducing who, but I
accepted my role like an affectionate cat. I rubbed my face across
his rib cage, my tongue
making his skin ripple with small goose bumps.
As I moved lower, my chin brushed his denim-covered erection. I
pressed more firmly into the
fabric which resulted in a loud moan from above. His response gave me
courage to undo his
zipper and button of his jeans. I spread the material open, and
traced the bulge outlined in the
soft cotton underwear with my finger. I groaned, bowing my head to
breathe in his musky scent.
Without a word spoken, Alex raised his hips to allow me to remove his
jeans and underwear. I
blew softly onto his uncovered shaft, and watched it twitch in
response, precum oozing out of
the slit. I gathered up some of his essence with my thumb to taste
the bittersweet flavour. My ambition increased with the taste, I
wanted more of Alex. Gripping the bottom of his erection, I swirled
my tongue around the head, concentrating my licks to the sensitive
underside. Alex's hips thrust upward, and I accepted more of his
pulsing cock into my mouth, as my throat muscles relaxed to the
invasion.
Alex begun to writhe and pant heavily under my attentions. Selfishly,
I held down his hips to
keep him inside my mouth. His silky skin rubbed across my lips, and I
moaned around the
swollen shaft. I began sucking, making sure my teeth didn't graze him
at all. Small grunts of
pleasure let me know Alex was appreciating my efforts, and his hand
in my hair kept me
concentrating on the task. My own penis was straining against my
underwear, begging for
attention, but I ignored my own arousal. I saved that for round two.
Alex let me know he was
close to orgasm by tightening his grip in my hair, while attempting
to shove a hole in the back of
my throat with a strong thrust. With a groan, his balls tightened and
his come shot down my
throat in salty waves.
I licked his spent member clean, grinning to myself, despite the
discomfort in my pants. I looked
up when I sensed his eyes on me. Alex smirked and bent down so that
we were face-to-face. He
proceeded to kiss me fully and tenderly, not bothered by his own
taste . When I thought I was going to pass out, he withdrew his
tongue, and gave me another chaste kiss on my lips.
"That's what I should've done a week ago."
We both laughed while I picked myself off the floor, and sat down
beside Alex. Something
bothered me about our earlier discussion in the park, so I bought up
the subject cautiously.
"What did you mean when you said your priorities had changed?" Alex
cocked his head, and shyly grinned at me.
"This. This is what I meant, Mulder. I wanted you. I wasn't sure if
you felt the same way. But
obviously, you do."
Alex confirmed his observation by stroking the bulge in my pants. I
groaned, my lips trailing a
path across his chin to his lips. We kissed passionately, as his hand
continued to massage my
cock through the thin material of my pants. But before I could let us
carry on to our inevitable
consummation, I had to know one more thing.
"One last question," I panted, my head resting on his shoulder.
"Hmm...?" Alex's hand snuck into the waistband of my pants, and I
almost didn't get the question out before his hand wrapped around my
erection.
"How did I sneak up on you in the park?"
"I let you, Mulder. I let you."
Stopwatch
by Jennifer
For once in my life
I've done what I should
Took this thing by the horns
and started something new
but I'm trying to be
Something that is real
though I know I'm starting again
by the Philosopher Kings
I didn't say anything after his lips brushed my cheek. Nothing seemed
right at the time. How could I absolve the past in the seconds it
took for Alex Krycek to leave my apartment? Instead my resolution
took seven days, sixteen hours, forty-two minutes and twenty-eight
seconds. My eidetic memory kept track of every second, like a
stopwatch recording the time of a runner. But instead of a marathon,
my mind was running through our past. 
