Dark Angel
Angels III
by Jami Wilsen
General Linden set down the documents he was reading as the door opened, his
visitor knocking upon it as he came in. Linden's eyes widened as he took in
the dark-clad man, who appeared quite happy to shut the door behind him and
come to stand in front of Linden's desk.
"Can I help you?" Linden asked, letting his astonishment show in his voice.
He was a little perplexed at the stranger's boldness and wondered how he'd
got past security.
"Actually, I think I can help you." The man put out a hand, saying, "Alex
Krycek. A pleasure to meet you, General. I just arrived from FE Warren Air
Base in Cheyenne. I'm here to straighten out affairs after the, ah,
'incident' last night." Linden shook his hand. Krycek indicated the chair.
"Do you mind?"
"Go ahead." Linden nodded, wondering if Mr. Krycek was as dangerous as he
looked. A man in black—it was almost a cliché. "What is this? NSA? Naval
Intel? Who are you with?"
"None of the above... And all of them, really. Let's just say I'm
representing the last shreds of sanity in a situation already shot to hell."
Linden gave him a look. "Really. And what do you want from me?"
"It's... more what I can do for you, General. You've got a major snafu to
clean up, here. Have you recovered the disc yet?"
Linden leaned back in his chair, a little more at ease since this Krycek
fellow obviously seemed nonchalantly relaxed about the truth of the downed
saucer. "Tell you what: I'll tell you that when you explain to me exactly
what you're doing here and what you want."
Krycek gave him an affable smile. "You want the evidence to disappear. So
do I. We certainly don't need the remains of that craft hanging around,
once it's found. Wouldn't you say the most reasonable thing under the
circumstances is to return it to its rightful owners?"
Linden sighed through his nose. "I suppose you're going to tell me you know
who they are. Just how the hell do you suggest we do that?""
"I have contacts. In the interests of national security and international
peace, I have an understanding with them that should provide us with the
appropriate solution." Krycek stood, reaching a hand into his inner jacket
pocket and handing it Linden.
Linden took the folded piece of paper and scanned it. He looked at Krycek
over the top of it. "I'm supposed to believe they're right under our
noses?"
Krycek settled himself back down in his seat. Linden noticed that the man
held his left arm stiffly, almost unnaturally. He blinked, realizing Krycek
had a prosthetic. This guy had seen action; that was for sure.
"We haven't seen anything like that in the area. All we've got are a lot of
bogeys after dark, buzzing that damned burial site and confusing our radar."
Krycek shook his head. "It's an underground base."
Linden dropped the paper on the desk and leaned back in his chair. "Even if
we went up and knocked on their door, assuming we could locate it, how are
we supposed to gain entry into this underground facility?"
Krycek withdrew a strange looking object from another pocket, seemingly out
of an endless source—Linden found himself wondering what the man would
pull out next. Krycek held it up. It was a curious, flat silvery
oblong-shaped bar, with rounded corners and strange engraved symbols on it.
It didn't look heavy, the way he held it. "Our calling card. It's like a
pass key."
Linden sighed. "Why contact me? Why don't you just mosey on over there and
get it done?"
Krycek frowned at him slightly. "You're already involved. You need to
bring the remains of the ship to them." Krycek shot him a look. "Do you
trust anyone else to accompany me?"
"No. Very well. Hang around, feel free. I can't exactly give you a
guaranteed time frame for when we might find it though. It's kind of
elusive. Must be some kind of dampening field around it or something."
Krycek nodded. "Cloaking technology. Scan the ground with EM field
detectors. You should find something. Enough to find out where it fell.
Their propulsion system leaves a noticeable trace. But you won't get it
looking for visible wreckage."
Linden was thinking. Finally he said, "All right. I'll go along with this.
God knows I want that thing out of my hair. But I sure hope you know what
you're doing, walking right up to them. How do you know they'll accept our
overtures as friendly?"
Krycek smiled once more. "We have this." He held up the metallic bar
again. "But we don't want to be compromised anymore than we already are.
How much attention has the 'plane crash' story already attracted?"
"Well, it's not bad. We've managed to minimize it with a search and rescue
story. Who was responsible for this, do you know?"
"No. That's out of our hands. But how are the locals? Did anyone see
anything? Any witnesses?"
"Some, but that kind of sighting is common around here. This place has a
reputation. Not enough to be a flap, but enough to cause stories. Come to
think of it, we did see one guy today, a tourist. But he was FBI. Said he
was on a fishing vacation."
Krycek's eyes widened slightly and he sat up straighter. "Mulder? Special
Agent Fox Mulder?"
"That's the one," Linden said. "Can't forget a name like that. Why? What's
he in all this?"
Krycek frowned slightly, considering. "The fly in the ointment. Although
I'm sure he sees himself as the bee getting the goods. I'm responsible for
him in this situation though. It can't be helped now. It was just before
the crash."
"Yeah, well the crash story was what brought him, I think. He didn't buy
it. He's a savvy guy."
Krycek sighed and stood up. "I'll deal with him if he shows up. Look, I'll
be around. Let me know when they locate the ship. I'm going to make a few
calls."
Linden stood as well. "Mr. Krycek. Who do you work for?"
Krycek grinned. "It depends on how you look at it. I don't work for
anyone. At the moment though, I guess I'm working for the benefit of the
American public, the continued stability of the military establishment, such
as it is... And our relations with the little grays. This particular
group, anyway."
Linden chuckled. "So it's true, all the rumors about the gray aliens?
They're the pilots."
"They're the local immigrants. Some of the bases they have here have been
around since the early Thirties." Krycek stated this matter-of-factly.
"Well, the thought of seeing them gives me the willies."
Krycek had an enigmatic smirk on his face. "Believe me, they're the
friendlier ones. I've met some who'd give you nightmares."
"Thanks," Linden said. "I really needed to hear that."
Krycek shrugged, his hand on the door handle, and pausing before opening the
door to say, "Just trying to reassure you. They won't eat us. They'll
probably be grateful. Depends if we recover their pilots or not."
Reticulan Underground Base
Mulder found himself staring with some trepidation at the two expressionless
gray Reticulans standing in front of them. After Daein, these beings looked
too alien in comparison. Although that may have been due to the fact that
his new Sassani acquaintance possessed a certain amount of emotional
sensitivity, whereas these beings did not. Daein looked as though he was
communicating with them. Wordlessly, they turned and—vanished. Into thin
air.
"How... where..." Mulder said, a dozen explanations flashing through his
mind, including bilocation, matter-transference, phase variance...
//Nothing so terribly complicated, // Daein smiled at him. //They possess
the ability to project themselves. As do I. But you could learn how; it
only takes practice. //
Mulder began to realize that the previous reports of abductees he had read
referred to just such abilities; only he had supposed it was something
physical, not metaphysical.
//There really is no difference, // Daein quipped, but he didn't elaborate
despite Mulder's twinge of curiosity. //They say that you may accompany me.
//
"Great, that's... great. But how am I supposed to do that? I don't know how
to project myself."
Daein shook his head at him. //Take hold of my hand. //
As he did so, Mulder abruptly found himself standing still while the rest of
the world faded away, replaced by the surroundings of what appeared to be a
huge cavern. There were other Reticulans there, working amidst the
saucer-shaped craft that sat docked inside it.
//We are in the main hangar, here. We must proceed to the Council room, //
Daein told him.
Mulder walked beside Daein, following him to where the Council room was
presumably located. As they passed the large ships, the occasional
Reticulan gray looked up at them, their big black eyes inscrutably observing
them. Mulder felt like he was in a dream-like state of awareness.
It was all happening so suddenly. One moment he was looking for a crashed
UFO, the next he was chatting with a little hybrid alien being, then waiting
for little grays to pick him up... And now, he was here. In an actual alien
base. It was all so matter-of-fact. If only Scully could see him now. He
wondered why he wasn't more tense and excited, as he'd always thought he
would be in the event of meeting extra-terrestrials and being allowed to
view their operations.
//Reality is always so much more mundane than we fear or expect, // Daein
murmured to him. //I hope you are not disappointed. //
"Not at all," Mulder said to him, in an undertone.
//No need to speak, my friend, // Daein smiled to him. //Just think it. //
Daein could sense the uncertainty in Mulder and sent him a detailed series
of images that shared with him the entirety of the base, it's layout,
everything that Daein knew of it's physical properties.
Down to the last detail. Mulder swallowed, hard, realizing he could now
draw complicated blueprints of the base and the operations that went on
inside it.
Trusting me with rather a lot here, aren't you?
//It is not a question of trust, but of vibration. There is no need to
blindly believe, pursue faith or trust, if one already knows and is sure of
another's intentions. //
No kidding, Mulder thought, dryly, recalling every instance that he'd been
uncertain of anyone, everyone, in his life. This was the first time he'd
felt at home with any other being, let alone an entire base-full.
//But is 'home' not where your heart is? // Daein queried. //Sometimes,
your notions and preconceptions of these things intrigue me with the
inherent paradoxical nature of your mental framework. For example, it is
perplexing to me how you can continue to deny your emotional needs. They
are so strong, after all. They rule your actions in ways that make you
appear volatile, unpredictable. //
I surprise myself too, Mulder thought in reflection. I never know how I'm
going to feel until it happens. But it defines me. I like to think that
it's not all bad, you know? It's what makes me human. Sometimes
unpredictability introduces a chaos factor into the mix, making stale and
stagnant things a little more interesting. I wouldn't want the gift of
prophecy. I like not knowing the outcome. It gives me hope.
//Hope and fear go hand in hand in your state. Chaos is not random, it is
synchronous, else we would not have been able to shift into this base,
following their vibration signatures. //
Mulder was curious. How did we do that? How does it happen?
//You are already everywhere. If you know that, you can transport yourself
anywhere that you believe yourself to be. That is a gross
oversimplification of a complex quantum dimensional understanding, and yet
it is a simple process. I wouldn't undertake it lightly. One must learn it
gradually and practice. //
They were making their way down the long curving corridor that led past the
dormitory cubicles, a series of personal domestic rooms in which the base's
inhabitants lived. And Mulder laughed suddenly.
"These corridors—you really do cater for the tall and wide!" He
could see the humor in it now, firsthand.
It was true. The halls were nearly triangular in that they tapered as they
sloped upwards to provide head-room for taller folk, and were wider at the
base.
Daein shrugged with a mental grin. //We must provide for all sizes and
shapes of visitors. Note that if we did not, you would have to stoop to
proceed through them. //
They were coming to the large communications room that sat just outside the
Council room. It was a busy network of near-silent grays all working avidly
at screens and communicating with each other. Through Daein's mental
connectivity with him, Mulder was able to pick up a busy, comforting
background hum of thoughts flowing into one another. He suddenly understood
what Daein had referred to before, about the Reticulans seeing humans as
'lost units'. Each gray was a node in a network of their collective mind,
with a sense of security and order. Yet, they were aware of the flow of
synchronicity surrounding their collective consciousness and did not fight
the individual information flowing through each of them as unique
observational witnesses and experiencers.
Daein turned to him. //You will find this interesting, Mulder. Come and
look at the array. //
The other grays seemed to defer to Daein as he came into the room, actually
moving out of his way. It crashed into Mulder's conscious awareness that he
had not been given any indication as yet, as to Daein's designated status
among these people.
Daein was laughing silently. //It was not my intention to mislead you with
deliberate omission. I thought you understood—as a hybrid, my status is
well-defined. //
Very funny, thought Mulder, Daein's subtle wit beginning to make him feel
foolish, despite the knowledge that this was also not Daein's intention. He
cleared his throat and said, "What are you? What's your rank, among these
people?"
//It is not a rank. It is a heritage, by rights of genetic superiority. Not
in the sense of being better than either race, but containing some of the
best traits of both human and Reticulan genes. I am what you might call a
go-between, a mere diplomat. I can speak for both races, to each other. //
Mulder smiled. "An ambassador... a spokesman."
//That, too. // Daein stopped before several ovular screens. //Observe. //
Mulder saw with some admiration the crystal-clear holographic projections
from the screens, better even than digital quality, scenes from around the
world that were displayed around the room.
He had the sensation of standing in a nerve center, a pulsing organ in a
greater organism.
//An apt analogy. We are in one base among hundreds. Here, we can link
with other bases, and other races' operations, observe events, implement
outward activity and monitor any transmission along any cable or human
communications channel. We can also monitor the status of every contactee
and individual in the database. //
Mulder had the accompanying image of a giant web of information, carefully
collected names and faces, data on every human being alive that they had
been keeping tabs on for years... It was a staggering amount of information
and Mulder was nearly sickened by both the overload and the breach of
privacy.
//No privacy has been invaded without the express permission of the being in
question, even if voluntary acceptance was obtained subconsciously, // Daein
said, with the added block on that line of thought that let Mulder know he
was not going to elaborate further, particularly as he could sense Mulder's
indignation.
//The hybrid program must continue, // Daein said, a note of absolute
implacability entering his voice for the first time. //We are saving both
races, not just the grays. Human societies on this world have
self-destructive tendencies and waiting for the mass majority to evolve to a
more developed evolutionary standard will take too long. The grays need to
save their race now, and this affords us the opportunity to ensure
the safety of most of the psychic matrices of the beings involved personally
with this process. //
Mulder snorted. "So, it's not an excuse, it's a reason. I guess it'll have
to do."
//Do you blame us for attempting this project? //
"Not at all. I can see where you're coming from on it. Just don't expect
everyone to agree you've gone about it the right way, is all."
//Mulder, your own government wants to instigate a monitoring system much
like this one, with their own database, for the purposes of none other than
control and petty exploitation. As well as implanting of chips for
monitoring and control. We implant chips merely for tagging purposes. And
we are running this project for the future benefit and salvation of both
races. //
"It's still invasive and hard to swallow. No one wants to hear about this—they'd freak out."
//Panic, yes. The suicidal impulse to end one's existence in the face of
absolute uncertainty and the destruction of one's worldview. We are very
familiar with that particular human reaction. Don't worry; the secret
protects itself. We would not be able to reveal our plans fully, nor would
we expect to be believed or understood. //
No shit, Mulder thought. Nobody would believe me after this, either. Not
that anyone ever has. He felt suddenly ashamed. "Daein? I don't want you
to think I'm ungrateful for this opportunity. Thank you."
//Hm. You are welcome. I wasn't sure how the Reticulans would feel, having
your presence here. You are filled with much personal grievance and
hostility towards us in general, despite your admiration for our technology
and the novelty of our appearance and vibrations. //
Worried that I might pollute the place with my impure thoughts? Mulder
grinned, wondering suddenly how the Reticulans would react to his
all-too-human vice of indulging in vivid mental porno films in his head...
In the absence of the videos, that is.
Daein smiled with him. //They do not understand that. They tolerate it.
They have no sexual feelings or comprehension. It is one of the more
interesting aspects of the human-Reticulan hybridization program that we are
conducting here—the investigation into psychosexual behaviorisms among
humans, grays, hybrids... You are considered a hybrid like me, and they
attribute your habitual propensities as a human characteristic. //
Cagey, aren't you? Why can't you just tell me what you know I'm wondering
about? Mulder found himself thinking this without considering the possible
effrontery of it.
But Daein only chuckled at him. //Very well. The Sassani methods of
reproduction include a measure of foreplay, only it is not a courtship you
would recognize. Attraction is based on vibrations, like any form of
communication. The sensations and the experience are all the more keen and
intense, however, for being of a vibratory nature on the level of the mental
and conscious plane. It is not as base and instinctual as in the usual
human mating sense. //
"You make it sound like we're beasts," Mulder accused, his gaze flicking
from one screen to another, wondering if every scene that was displayed had
a stationary camera installed or if they were from remote sensors.
//Remote observing stations, hidden from human detection, // Daein replied.
//And we do not consider humans 'beasts', despite many of humankind's
hostile and violent proclivities. We think of you as self-aware,
self-conscious beings who are not yet aware of your own potential. The DNA
in every human has unlimited, untapped power, but this you already know. //
Daein was referring to Mulder's experience with the Origin Ship, and what
they had learned from it. //It is enough potential to have many of your
sibling races currently envious and afraid, actually. Hence the touchy
political climate of the beings involved. There are so many races waiting
for the day when the Earth can be joined to the interstellar community. But
that would end the experiment and we would no longer have a pure, isolated
system. //
In other words, we're quarantined, Mulder thought.
//Yes. For your own protection, as well as ours. Imagine humans
contaminating the outer planets in this solar system with their intentions
for colonization and mining of resources. Imagine the possible risk of
overload and culture shock, as well as absorption and annihilation should
the other races descend upon Earth too quickly and begin social and
commercial exchange! //
Daein stopped, and straightened. //We have visitors. We must join them in
the Council room now. This is... unexpected. //
"What is it? Who are they? What happened?" Mulder was concerned.
Daein gave a mental shrug. //The commander of the air force team that was
looking for my crashed ship, the man who let us go. He has returned it.
They found the wreckage and now wish to talk. He is here with another
human. This is good. They wish to ensure that we do not intend retaliatory
reparations. They appear to be open to negotiating a peaceful dialogue. //
The Council room doors slid back and they entered, Mulder following behind
Daein feeling awkwardly human in his jeans and jacket. But he was not
prepared for the sight that awaited him.
Several little Reticulan grays with large black eyes, as well as two tall
grays with the same features stood around the big, round, matte-silver
table, with two humans—General John Linden and... Mulder's stomach
lurched, a dizzying combination of reactions cartwheeling through his
head... Alex Krycek, dressed in black. Of course. Always black, these
days. Mulder felt kind of sick. This was beginning to feel like a bad
dream.
Daein's sudden mental presence was overwhelming inside his head, calming and
stabilizing. Nothing would be involuntarily revealed or extracted from his
mind. Daein understood his wish for suppression and privacy at this moment
and helped him to shield his tide of complex responses to this unnerving
situation. //I will speak for you, to them. They accept that, as we are
both hybrids and now friends, as well as possessing a mutual agreement of
exchange, earlier. // By 'them', Daein meant the other grays.
The tall grays made Mulder think of near-insectoid features, although that
may have been merely from the spindly length of their limbs and their
height.
Mulder and Daein went to stand to one side of the round table, looking at
the others. He met Krycek's eyes but the other man turned away, and did not
look over again. Mulder was relieved to find Daein's buffering presence
between him and the rest of the room. A veil of discretion, he thought with
gratitude towards his new friend. He didn't want to embarrass himself with
untoward behavior in the present company and seeing Krycek there had all the
inflammable qualities of a match being flung into the dry tinder of his
mind. He ruthlessly quelled the memories of their last encounter on the
plane, coldly.
One of the tall grays was a female. She broadcast a general thought into
the room, and it reached them all effortlessly, laced with the liquid
smoothness of her mind. She was apparently very old. She was directing it
at the humans present. // Our neighbors. You have returned our property and
conveyed both it and our personnel with peaceful intent. We are thankful.
//
"Y—You're welcome. I see no reason why we can't allow your base to
continue to function here, undisturbed. We'll try to keep interference to a
minimum. The earlier incident was a grave mistake. You have our sincere
apologies and regret." General Linden looked a bit spaced. It was
obviously his first time here too, as well as it being his first contact
experience in meeting extra-terrestrial life of any kind.
He kept looking at Daein as if trying to remember something. Finally Daein
took pity on him and unblocked the man's memory from the afternoon, saying,
//It was I. Mulder here was a more appropriate aide, I'm sure you will
agree. //
Linden coughed once and said, "Ah, yes. Absolutely. I don't think my men
would have been able to handle it. Ah, you, I mean. It's been quite enough
getting them to transport the ship back here."
The tall gray female seemed to be the primary speaker for the base's staff
and directors. // It is agreeable to us to remain on good terms. A
non-interference policy will be appreciated. But what of the instigators of
this act? Why the senselessness of the perpetrators' intent? //
Mulder realized with a start that she reminded him mostly of the being so
vividly portrayed by the Communion hype. He began to understand why that
film and Streiber's accounts had been allowed to circulate so widely. It
would be a shock for people to meet her kind too suddenly, despite her
inoffensive, almost impersonal vibe. Daein said to him, privately, in a
corner of their minds, //Exactly. Immuring them from shock by slowly
inducting them into familiarity with the images. //
Linden glanced at Krycek beside him, and said, "I can answer that. The man
responsible for giving the order to shoot down..." he looked at Daein, "...
Daein's—craft has been dealt with. He apparently acted autonomously,
outside of any chain of command. It wasn't an act of aggression but of
greed. He was trying to make a point by exercising his power. We are
willing to discuss terms, to compensate you for the loss and the trouble."
One of the small grays was staring at Krycek. // What is the Rebels'
position in this? //
Krycek met the Reticulan stare unflinchingly. "They gave me that pass, the
key, because they understand the need for discretion. There was no need for
this to be blown out of proportion. They are bystanders only. Their
position remains as it always has; they continue to resist the efforts of
the Black Oil faction. They have a vested interest in seeing a successful
conclusion in the fight against the Black Oil spreading beyond this world."
His gaze almost flicked towards Mulder—and Mulder could see it. But he
steadfastly refused to turn and face Mulder.
The tall female said, //Your group of Elders are no more. Where now is
organized human resistance? Is there a possibility of collaboration and
requests for assistance? We cannot involve ourselves directly, lest we risk
compromising the integrity of our projects. But if there is now a more
rational, congenial human leadership, we can under the auspices of the
original deal begin to act more overtly. //
"That—would be premature," Krycek said. "There isn't a united voice and
whatever resistance there is still lacks any kind of ratification from any
nation, let alone all of them together."
//Indeed, // Daein commented, //so much for the United Nations. Ah, well.
It is a good idea to create such a body, even if they can't do anything yet.
It provides a hopeful template, and the illusion of unification in the eyes
of the rest of the world. //
Linden said, "The public doesn't want to be disturbed by any of it. We're
doing our best to maintain a status quo of plausible denial."
//Very well. We shall keep intensifying our efforts towards the
entertainment media complex. // The tall female seemed fine with this.
Mulder found himself speaking without really knowing what kind of alien
power bases these beings were really representing. Still, he had to say it.
"Who's running things, then? Don't tell me the entire planet's on
automatic, with a few people like us running around patching up holes when
we spring a leak?"
Daein told him in an aside, //Krycek is thinking, 'Running things... Want
the job? You're welcome to it.' I think he feels bitter that you are one of
the people who carries the needle and makes the leaks in the first place.
You undo his efforts to maintain stability in a situation that is wildly
oscillating. //
Fine, he thought. That's Krycek's problem, not mine. Krycek was still
avoiding his eye. Mulder looked at the tall female stubbornly. He
nevertheless wanted her answer on this.
She returned his scrutiny and then gently said, //We will not decide the
fate of other beings. Free will is the imperative primary right of each
native entity here on this world. To decide for them would be disastrous.
There must be a common voice, a consensus. They do not want to be
responsible for it all, so they let the current government continue to run
things for them. Individuals such as yourself are operating outside of the
system and thus are not part of the system. You are the alien element in
your own system and are therefore as destructive to its stability as we are
when you challenge their decisions to remain as they are. //
Mulder flushed, feeling slightly put down. "There are plenty of people who
feel oppressed by the current system and would like nothing more than for
the atmosphere of conspiratorial suppression to end."
Linden and Krycek were staring at him, wondering why he was challenging
these beings. What did he have to gain from this line of questioning? If
they couldn't see that someone needed to ask these kinds of questions, to
hell with them. Resolutely, he turned back to the grays.
She contemplated him intently. Suddenly even Daein's protective mental
shield was withdrawn under the pressure and could not withstand her piercing
mind. Eventually, she said, //If you will compose a new structural form of
governmental organization for this world, bearing in mind the variables of
the unpredictable and growing collective evolutions of all human beings, as
well as the complex political structure that exists between all races and
yours at this time, then we will gladly discuss it with you. We have no wish
to impose a dictatorship of 'alien invaders' upon this world, or cause panic
by frightening people with our presence. To those who truly wish to know
the truth, they find their ways here quite naturally, as you have today. //
One of the other shorter grays chimed in, //You are open-minded. How many
of your fellow humans would claim to possess the same hybrid genes and
abilities that you do, let alone agree to accept your ontology as an
everyday common reality? //
Feeling defeated by his own innate understanding of the vast majority of
human apathy towards the supernatural in general, Mulder leaned forward with
his hands on the table and sighed.
Daein said, //I would suggest that further discussion on this subject be
conducted at another time. This is not our place, to question the current
state of human/Reticulan relations. There are still people with dark
vibrations who are speaking for the public, because the majority of the
public wish to remain in the dark. Let us concentrate now on cementing a
new understanding between each of us here. //
//The issue is an agreement of neutral non-interference concerning this base
and your local military presence, General Linden, // said the tall female
gray. //It is agreed? //
"Yeah, agreed. Do you require any kind of compensation, though?"
//No. It is enough that Daein is unharmed and we have made interesting new
contacts here today. But we are open to any offer you may wish to present.
We will pursue further discussion of our concerns later, Fox Mulder. //
Mulder nodded, wondering if he had just nearly caused an interstellar
incident, himself.
Daein was laughing softly and sent him a private tendril of thought:
//Never fear. They find you interesting, Mulder. You are so passionate
about such relatively unemotional issues, intellectual and political
concerns that affect such vast sections of people, in such a personal
manner. And if I may breach etiquette yet again, General Linden is
privately wondering if you need to 'get laid'. //
Sourly, Mulder straightened and folded his arms before him.
//How interesting, // remarked Daein to him, in that little whisper again,
//Alex Krycek is thinking that you look 'very cute' when you pout. //
Oh, shut up, why don't you, Mulder thought, sulking, aware that he must look
like he was pouting even more. He felt like he'd been strung along, led
right into it. Staring back at the assembled grays, he felt betrayed. They
had been the ones to bring up the whole issue of 'who was representing human
resistance to the Black Cancer threat'.
It didn't help that he felt absolutely bemused at Krycek's presence there,
the rat-bastard now seemingly representing the interests of humanity. It
didn't seem fair. Why him? Why were they listening to Alex Krycek? He knew
Krycek was hardly an ethical, trustworthy person. Regardless of his own
personal feelings of ambivalence towards him. He hated Krycek, even though
the man was... what? What was Krycek to him? Mulder couldn't even begin to
sort it out at the moment. The situation was too intense. There were far
greater issues swirling about in his head. Damn Alex, anyway! He wasn't
responsible for the man's attraction to him. Jesus.
Daein said softly to him, //Have you never considered that the Black Cancer
threat was specifically designed to rally the selfish and dark leaders of
your people? To force them to work together against a common 'enemy', and
hence create a united voice? Someone earlier on in the last fifty years
decided upon this as a sufficiently menacing threat, then approached the
Syndicate Elders, who formed the Consortium to defend against it—in their
own selfish way. Men with power do not like to think of losing their power.
But you might like to know that not only are there ways to eradicating the
Black Cancer but also all forms of cancer... and providing free energy to
the entire planet. Now. You might wish to think on this. A world free of
disease, the need for fuel consumption, and poverty... What would such a
world offer? And what of the balance of commerce and politics in the
developed nations? //
General Linden was saying, "I think I can also speak for my colleagues and
superiors in Washington when I say that we could erect an enforced
demarcation zone around all the portal entries to this base. Nothing flashy
or eye-catching. Just enough to deter hikers and local residents from
poking around."
//That will not be necessary, but we thank you for the offer, // the tall
female replied. //We have not had a single intruder or accidental visitor
in all the years we have had this base. But we would be glad for the
protection of our craft in this area, in your air space. We would see that
as a gesture of goodwill and an appropriate recompense for the attack on
Daein's ship yesterday. //
The grays seemed satisfied with this outcome and began to leave the room.
The tall female remained, however, and said to Linden and Krycek, //We have
a request. We wish for you to remain here for a time, and oversee our
operations. Then you will better understand our position and will be able
to represent our interests to your people for this locale and the projects
we are invested in. //
Daein turned to Mulder. //You may come with me. //
Mulder followed Daein out of the Council room and said, "Will I ever meet
you again? Do you think I'll ever be allowed back here?" He realized he
was going to miss Daein terribly. "Look, I'm really sorry about my outburst
in there. I just—I couldn't stand hearing that and not—not speaking up—"
//We understand, Mulder. You know, you have never found your way to any of
our bases. Until now. You never stumbled onto us, and until you found me
today, your intuitive ability has always steered you to lesser clues or
towards the government conspiratorial matters that your father and close
society with the Elders and the FBI has patterned you with. It is a major
step along your own path that you have come this far. You might want take a
moment to consider what progress you have achieved. The closer you examine
your own inner truths, the closer you will come to finding external ones. If
we wish to meet again, we will. And as you do, so do I. So it will be. //
They were making their way through the base, passing through a large
cafeteria. Daein wanted him to see other beings momentarily, in passing.
Mulder couldn't help staring. There were odd collections of people eating
at tables, quietly talking amongst themselves in strange tongues. There
were blond, nearly human-appearing people, orange-skinned beings, bizarre
and hairless feline creatures with enormous eyes. Each and every one of
them had an unmistakable sentient intelligence in their demeanor. They were
all completely unique and yet so at ease in their environment here. There
was a definite ambience of peaceful cooperation amongst so many varied types
of people, with such different backgrounds.
By the time they had moved on down another hallway, Mulder was speechless.
He felt like his body was an automaton, moving woodenly along after Daein.
Daein was laughing. //Is it too much, too soon? You wished to see
everything. //
He cleared his throat as they made their way through a display of growing
plants, profusions of greenery. "I never expected this. I didn't know it
would be like this, is all. It's kind of outside my normal sphere of
experience. Don't get me wrong—it's great. It's more than great.
Just... I know I won't be able to talk about it to anyone and I'm going to
have to return to a life of solitary commitment to finding 'truths', as you
said. It's a lonely road."
//Well, perhaps you can take some comfort in knowing that you will need
assimilation time to digest this new reality and incorporate it in some way
with your wider view of the planet. And besides, there is always your
acquaintance, Alex Krycek. He has been here too, and shared this time and
space with you. You may choose to disbelieve it but he remains one of the
few who advocate and support you, even where he sees it necessary to do so
without your knowledge. //
Mulder growled, "Just what I always needed, having to hear from an alien
hybrid that Alex is my only human friend. Thanks."
//Yes, // Daein commented, dryly, //you seem incapable of realizing it for
yourself. I am only reinforcing what you are already aware of but are
choosing to ignore. // But he fell silent on this afterwards, aware that
Mulder's state was quite fragile at the moment and could not handle more
discussion of both Krycek and the fate of the planet at the same time.
Mulder sighed. Why was it that whenever he ended up getting close to the
truth about the future, the truth of the government's involvement with
extra-terrestrials, the 'fate of humanity', and the conspiracies and alien
presence in their midst, he always ended up having to face Krycek? There
was something so irritating and yet intriguing about that. Synchronicity?
Maybe the chaos flow of the universe was trying to tell him something. He
would figure out what it was later. Right now, he was trying to keep the
sudden loneliness at bay. The sense of impending loss was starting to make
him morose.
"I wish I could just stay here, for a while," Mulder said, wistfully,
looking around the displays of green plants. "You know, hang out and
just... watch. Learn things. Spend time with you and these people." Going
back to human culture and society at this point was a real downer, after
seeing a glimpse of something alternative and better.
Daein shrugged mentally. //Who knows? We might be able to organize
visiting rights. You could come here sometime in the future, when you feel
ready. In fact, if it makes you feel better, I will extend the invitation
now, Mulder. You may come back when you think it is the right time. All
right? //
Mulder looked back at him. He was once more feeling a little ashamed at
his earlier behavior, and wished he didn't sound so insecure about leaving.
He leaned down and gave a careful hug to Daein, who returned it. Mulder
didn't want to hurt him; physically Daein still seemed almost breakable, his
figure was so slight. Thickly, Mulder said, "I will miss you, Daein."
//And I will miss you, my friend. But, we are already 'there'. // Daein
gave him a sunny and confident smile inside with the words. //A meeting of
minds in the flow is always and forever. You will see. It will be as
though you have only imagined you were alone. Once you leave here, it will
not be as you expect, now that we have made the connection. //
"Thank you. For everything." Finally, Mulder let go and stood up. He
straightened and said, wryly, "Well, I guess I made an impression here,
huh?" He was thinking of the tall female and the others.
//You could never fail to do that, // Daein agreed, chuckling, as they began
to walk away, towards the outer halls to go towards the nearest portal
entryway out of the base. //It seems to be another one of your unmistakable
traits. // They walked quietly up to the portal gate. It seemed
unremarkably smooth, like an ordinary door with a metal sheen.
Taking Mulder's hand once more, Daein slid them easily through the portal to
stand beside the car on the side of the road. It was getting dark and the
stars were bright and high in the sky above, clusters of diamond dust
speckling the deep blue. The singing of crickets was all around and the
smell of the prairie and mountain pines was strong. The glow of Cody,
beyond Heart Mountain and the road back through the hills, was pale and
beckoning on the horizon. Mulder suddenly realized how hungry he was. He
needed a shower. And a shave. He did want to get to the motel. He checked
his watch. Ah. It had stopped. How surprising—not. He smiled.
Daein said tentatively, //General Linden is going to remain there for a
while longer. Alex Krycek needs to leave, though. Will you be willing to
let him accompany you on your journey back home? //
Mulder wondered at this. "Why? Why can't... why doesn't he just go? Go
wherever he needs to get to, next? And why are you speaking on his behalf?"
//My understanding of this is that he was going to see you anyway, upon your
return. He wanted to discuss the material he gave you, and to give you a
means to see the bodies recovered from the 'pygmy grave'. The remains have
been sent to Washington ahead of you. He feels responsible for having led
you into this situation. //
Mulder chewed on his lower lip, thoughtfully. "I guess he did. Jesus.
Don't tell me I have him to thank for ending up meeting you!" He
sighed.
Daein laughed at him. //Mulder, you are truly astonishing to me. How can
you possibly pretend you don't know what you mean to him? All of this is
merely an excuse to see you. He craves your company like you crave
extra-terrestrial contact. You can best repay him for leading you however
obliquely into this encounter here today by understanding that. //
"I don't understand how you can give him the benefit of the doubt," Mulder
pointed out. "He betrayed me, and his actions have hardly been beneficial
for anyone, whether he was working with them against me, or with the
Russians against them, or on his own against... whoever—that MJ-12 guy who
ordered them to shoot down your ship. He has done unforgiveable deeds; his
crimes are—" Mulder stopped, thinking of his dying father in his arms.
//Forgiveness is its own salvation, // Daein replied, the implications
abundantly clear in the timbre of his mental voice. //It is true that he
hurt you. But you should know that in doing so, he hurt himself more. At
least, that is what I picked up from him. It can do neither of you a
disservice to reconcile your past and your pain. But it is up to you. You
are the only one who can redeem him. //
"So I'm supposed to believe that he actually wants me to like him? And not
for any twisted manipulation or game, trying to get me to perform some step
in his scheming, devious plans, but just because he likes me."
Daein was grinning, an actual, physical grin that Mulder could both sense
and see in the dim light of the sky reflecting off Daein's face and the car
windows. //Yes. And now, if you will permit me, I shall return to the
base. //
"Well, take care. Don't let any more jets shoot you out of the sky. And
I'll be back this way again, you can count on that."
//I shall look forward to it. Goodbye, my friend. // Daein sent him a last
wave of abiding and enduring love and gratitude for helping him to return
from being miles away from this place with humans scattered dangerously
around the place, and back home. He raised his hand in a gesture of
farewell.
"Goodbye. Until we see each other again." Mulder held up his own hand.
Daein smiled and then vanished, almost as if he slid around a long corner
and was just... no longer there. Back to the same portal. Leaving Mulder
to take a deep breath and lean against the car door, staring up at the
evening sky. He wondered why Daein hadn't been able to know where the
portal was before the Reticulans had arrived, earlier, before they took them
to the base. He wondered how the vibration signatures of the Reticulans had
left a way for Daein to follow them. He wondered if he could transport
himself the same way. It eluded him for the present time though.
He remained there, thinking about all that had transpired, everything Daein
had taught him. Yeah, taught. He wished suddenly that he'd been able to
offer even a fraction in return, compared to what Daein had given him. But
then, being a stranger in a strange land, treated as a monstrous creature
purely because of his alien shape, Daein had indeed depended on Mulder's
help to get back to this place. It would have been quite a journey to walk.
The poor little guy had been no doubt traumatized and in shock after the
crash, too. He was surprised that Daein seemed to have survived the impact
with barely a few scratches and bruises.
Headlights from farther down along the valley sent long two, long white
beams into the dark, alerting him to a car heading his way. It had to be
Krycek. He knew it was, in fact. He got into the car and remembered the
food in the back seat, as well as the things he had bought for the road
trip, all unaware that he wouldn't be waiting all that long for Daein's
people to pick him up. He turned the key, revved up the engine and waited
for Krycek's car to pull alongside.
It was dark, too dark to see into the car, but he knew it was Krycek, all
the same. Especially after the car stopped alongside and Krycek rolled down
the window, saying, "Well, well. Fancy meeting you here, Mulder. What's a
federal agent like you doing in a place like this?"
"Very lame, Alex. Even for me, that was lame. Besides, who are you
to talk? Look, we need to get together, about pygmy remains and the fate of
the planet. Again. I've got a reservation at a motel just outside of town.
Follow me there," he suggested.
Krycek looked ahead, considering the dark road before them. He appeared to
be deliberating this. Finally he turned back to Mulder. "All right. Turn
around, I'll wait." He backed up a bit, giving Mulder some room.
Mulder managed to turn the car around and pull away, leaving Krycek to
follow behind.
As he drove, he found himself wondering at all that had happened. He was
starting to come down from the high and despite the displacement and general
surreality of his situation Mulder realized that Daein was right. He had
been hiding from himself. From the truth of his own feelings about Krycek.
About Alex.
The thought of staying in the motel room with Alex was enough to cause a
response from his cock, hardening swiftly as he thought of repeating that
close encounter with him on the plane the week before.
He thought of forgiveness being its own salvation and how obvious it was
that Alex did want him. He felt in control of the situation simply from
that knowledge; he could dictate the pace. In hurting me, he hurt himself
more, Mulder mused; interesting—no wonder the man always has that wounded,
haunted look in his eyes whenever he looks at me.
He didn't need to punish Alex anymore for what he'd done to Mulder and those
he cared about... Alex was already living in self-inflicted guilt and
probably expected nothing less than a continued pattern of abuse from Mulder
for the rest of their days.
Somehow, knowing that Alex was vulnerable made all the difference. It made
him accessible, and rendered him less of a risk, regardless of how absurd
that seemed in retrospect.
The satori of meeting Daein and the experience of the Reticulan base left
him with the epiphany that if evolved and sensitive beings like Daein could
forgive Alex Krycek his crimes, so could he.
It was remarkably liberating. He found he'd already had closure on his
father years before, after his mother had died and he had discovered that
Sam was long gone and departed in peace. Now he'd achieved his ultimate
goal: contact with another (mostly) alien being. Very satisfying contact,
too. Hell, it didn't get much better than that!
What was left? He began ticking off the mental checklist of automatic
grievances with Alex. Tunguska. Well, yeah. He'd virtually dragged Alex
there with him, and had certainly dragged him aboard the truck. Didn't
matter that Alex had given him exactly the right clues to get him to want to
go, it was quite enough that because of him, Alex had lost his arm. The
guilt over that nearly made up for Bill Mulder. Nearly, but not quite.
Still, the pain over the loss of his father had been burned in the hatred of
Alex for committing the act, and with the passage of time and the knowledge
of what his father had actually done in the past, a little of the usual
customary poison had already been lanced by the time Daein entered his life.
Scully's abduction... and Duane Barry. That whole fiasco. Mulder gnawed on
his lips. And jerked as a white owl flew across the road in front of him.
Well, in a way, the Smoking Man and his cronies wouldn't have tried to do
anything to Scully in the first place if it weren't for Mulder's own
association with the X-Files and his penetrating attempts to pierce the veil
of secrecy surrounding the Syndicate's projects. Krycek had been the tool.
The tip-off about Weikamp AFB, and the kiss. That kiss. The plane... and
those hot, searing moments when Alex had come all over them both, their
hands, and the way Alex had been leaning into him afterwards... And those
kisses, the way Alex had kissed him after... It had seemed like he was
stealing them, snatching the opportunity to be not just imparting
information or sealing a deal or in the grip of lust. Just—affection and
tenderness. As unlikely as that might sound, when speaking of Alex.
By the time he'd thought it all over with a Daein-inspired perspective, and
was in a state of thoroughly frustrated arousal at the impending proximity
to Alex in the motel, Mulder was quite ready to stop battling over the past
and get on with the—the what?
The future? The seduction of Alex. He grinned. It shouldn't be that hard.
Especially if Alex already had a jones for him as badly as he'd appeared to
back on that plane. Christ, he'd thrown himself at Mulder. Unmistakably.
This would be like shooting fish in a barrel.
When he arrived at the motel, he parked and waited to see if Alex would
actually drive in. He did. Mulder went in to check for messages in the
office, but the guy was no longer there. He left and went to the door of
the room, fishing the key out of his pocket as Alex came up to stand beside
him. "Here. Go on in. I'm going to get the food, and my bags."
Mulder brought everything in and found that Alex had seated himself on one
of the twin beds in the room, and was channel flipping idly. Alex had
already brought in his own bag and the now familiar black briefcase that
Mulder had seen before. He experienced a feeling of déją vu. "Uh, Alex?
That—I've still got that one. I thought I still had that briefcase.
Remember? You gave it to me, it contained the files on the burial site."
Alex glanced at him, still pointing the remote at the TV and going through
the channels. "I got another. I liked that one. I didn't think you were
going to buy it if I said I was only there to get it back."
"Why not? It would've made a great excuse to drop by." He said it jokingly
but the way Alex stopped and regarded him, stonily, made him wonder if Alex
really did 'like him'. The strangeness of being here in this ordinary motel
room with him after everything that had happened suddenly impacted on him
and Mulder sat down on the edge of the other bed, wearily, trying to ignore
the insistently painful hardness in his jeans. He rubbed his face with his
hands. "We have to talk."
"Yeah. We do." Alex flipped the TV off and put down the remote. He was
sitting on the bed, resting his back against the headboard with his legs out
in front of him, his feet crossed. He sat and waited for Mulder to speak.
It was cold in the room and Mulder shivered. He got up and looked around
for the thermostat, turned it on and went to sit back down, saying, "I don't
hate you, Alex. I appreciate what you were trying to do, giving me the lead
on this—this case. This incredible, unforgettable case."
Alex's expression was unreadable. As usual, no surprises there. He had his
full implacability act on at the moment. Which was kind of telling, in
itself. Mulder sighed. "I don't want to fight you. Not any more. Meeting
Daein and seeing... the others, that base... It's kind of shifted my
perspectives, altered my reality. You know what I mean?"
Alex had raised his eyebrows at this. "Yeah, Mulder, I think I do." He
paused as he saw the bemusement on Mulder's face. "What, did you think I
was going to disagree with you on that one? This has got to be the most
significant exchange I've had with any race I've ever met."
Mulder regarded him with pursed lips. "Just how many races have you
met?"
Alex's eyes flicked away, evasively. "A few. The blondes, the grays. The
oiliens. Just your usual, run-of-the-mill alien. Local people." Mulder
didn't even get the feeling Alex was being ironic. He sounded completely
serious.
"This was—what just happened tonight—it was the one thing I had been
waiting for... all my life." Mulder felt rather stupefied as the reality of
it kept sinking into his brain over and over again. It had actually
happened. It hadn't been a delusion or a dream. And Krycek had been there,
he was proof that it had actually happened because they both remembered it.
He realized he was in shock, in the aftermath.
Alex wasn't being much help. He probably felt the same way. But Mulder got
up, saying, "I'm going to shower. Help yourself to the food. I got stuff
that wouldn't need heating up."
He absently began to strip off, removing his clothes as he went to the
bathroom. Looking over at Alex, he realized Alex was most carefully not
looking in his direction. He grinned. "Are you sure you don't want to join
me?"
The sudden arrival of high color in Alex's face was a revelation. Alex
didn't look over at him, just resolutely stared at the dead television
screen across the room.
Mulder sighed. "Fine, have it your way." He went in and shut the door
behind him. He turned on the water and waited for it to get hot. Damn. It
wasn't like Alex had any idea of the shift in Mulder's perspective regarding
him. Mulder knew he needed a new angle to take with him.
And with this in mind, he climbed into the shower. Washing away the travel
hours and the dust, he also washed the prejudice and the suspicion down the
drain along with them. The need to protect his own lonely defensive pride
and the almost frighteningly intense desire to just be held, to be
understood... He was left with a simple truth that gleamed and sparkled in
the clearing sky of his own mind: it wasn't just the purity of Daein's
friendship and the scintillating connection of sharing Daein's thoughts. It
wasn't just the ordinary physical need for release. It was the secret
satisfaction in knowing that someone desired him. Even if it was Alex. In
fact, he had to admit there was an illicit thrill even in that. But to be
wanted, not dismissed because of his beliefs, or his pursuits. To be
needed.
He left the shower and grabbed the towel, drying himself off briskly. It
was steamy in the bathroom now, and he wasn't looking forward to opening the
door and letting the chill in again. It was surprisingly cold. He supposed
it must be due to the altitude. They were high up in the mountains, after
all. He wrapped the towel around his waist and snatched up another.
Alex seemed to tense when he came back out, no doubt preparing for more of
Mulder's poking and prodding at his defenses. Mulder didn't say anything,
merely noted that Alex had left the food out for him. "The cheese is good,"
Alex remarked, getting up. "Do you mind if take a shower, myself?"
"Go ahead," Mulder said, toweling his hair dry with the second towel. He
watched as Alex retreated and shut the bathroom door. Didn't even look at
him once. Mulder sighed. This was not going to be as easy as he'd thought.
Then again, he wondered what he wanted, himself. A quick screw? Another
mutual masturbation session? The full fuck? It all seemed a bit trite and
crude now, especially in retrospect. The afternoon and evening had been so
out of his usual world, beyond daily routines or social platitudes. And
Alex's defenses were up. He was probably steeling himself against allowing
a repetition of their previous close call in the airplane toilet. Mulder
sat down on the edge of the bed. He needed a scenario, some kind of
strategy.
Mulder contented himself with nibbling while waiting for Alex to emerge.
Damn. The cheese was good. He started munching his way through the
snack foods. And tried to ignore the fact that Alex was naked and wet
behind that one miserably pathetic barrier of a bathroom door...
Alex finally came back out, fully dressed, probably intending to leave once
they'd discussed the pygmy remains and the fate of the world. Mulder
chortled to himself. So much for the road trip. He had half a mind to stay
here for a few more days and avail himself of the surroundings. They were
only a few miles down the road from Yellowstone National Park. And the road
through Sunlight Basin led right up to the Beartooth Highway, which was
described as 'the most scenic road in America'. He glanced over at Alex.
Somehow, he doubted he could get Alex to come along.
Alex went to sit down on the edge of the other bed, and shot him a glare.
What the hell was wrong now? Oh, right. Mulder glanced down at himself.
He was still wearing only a towel. Well, damn—it wasn't like they were a
couple of virgins in a Victorian convent... and maybe he could use this to
his advantage. "We do need to talk."
"So talk." Alex was curt.
"I've been thinking about us, and the past. I've come to the conclusion—
with a little help from our friends—that I've been clinging to a previous
version of you without taking into account the fact that people change.
I've changed, over the years. So have you. I'm thinking that it's about
time our relationship reflected that."
Alex looked over at him, as if he was bored. Pityingly, he said, "Get real,
Mulder. I'm not in any mood for any psych crap right now and I don't want
to talk about our 'relationship'."
"Touchy," Mulder said, getting up. "Hold that thought, I'm just gonna get
dressed. And then you can tell me what you are in the mood for, and what
else there could possibly be left for us to discuss, other than our, ah,
non-relationship." He picked up his jeans and got a clean t-shirt and
sweats out of his bag, putting the jeans in the bag before going back into
the bathroom. He'd spare Alex's composure just this once and get dressed
without making a show of it.
By the time he'd shoved the clothing on and came back out, however, Alex was
already pacing the room like a caged tiger. Mulder flung himself on the bed
and said, "Okay, Alex, shoot. What did you want to talk about? You were
going to tell me about the pygmy remains?"
Alex opened his mouth and paused. He closed it again and brushed his hand
over his hair, angrily. He appeared more agitated than Mulder could
remember seeing him, given that they were hardly in any kind of a violent
clinch. Finally, Alex said, roughly, "They were sent on ahead. I had them
sent to Washington, so you and Scully could have a look at them. Someone
will probably have them 'disappeared' before long, so you might want to
study them as much as possible. And about today. Thanks very much making
us look like complete idiots in front of one of the more highly respected
elders of her kind. She—"
Mulder cut him off. "I'm sorry about that, I am, okay? I didn't exactly set
out to make a fool of myself deliberately, I feel bad enough about it now.
But it had to be said. You know that. I'm glad she took the time to answer
me. I certainly have never had the luxury of having any of those questions
answered for me by anyone else in these past years. So it was nice to
finally get someone to say something. And you know what else? While you
stand there all smug and secure in your knowledge about what's going down,
I'm still in the dark here, still wondering what hell is happening. So
lighten up, will you? And while you're at it, you could do yourself a favor
and tell me what you know rather than throwing me a few more breadcrumbs to
follow along the trail. It might even get me to shut up."
Alex frowned and exhaled. "You ever stop to think that maybe the
information I could give you would lead you into certain death, where even
Scully wouldn't be able to get you out? If I start giving you places,
names, dates—you're going to be running around checking it all out and
then I'm going have to kill you for your pains. And then I'll have to kill
myself for the damage incurred."
Mulder sat up. "All right, fine. Don't tell me. But you could explain how
the hell you get given 'keys' by rebels and special tours of alien
bases like some fucking VIP by the head alien herself."
Alex started pacing again. "Mulder, anytime you wanna trade places is fine
by me. I'll have your cushy FBI job where you get cut all the slack and
have all-expenses-paid excursions looking for the latest reported
slime-terror or swamp thing, with Scully trailing around to watch your back
and bail you out when you get in too deep. And you can take my place,
running around trying to keep the lid on all the shit rising up in the
sewers. Have you any idea how fun it is to have to fly to Tunisia to reason
with insanely drunk terrorists and pay them not to release deadly
technology on the world? Or to be the only one around who has enough
gumption to be able to negotiate peace treaties with alien factions who are
so completely non-human that they'd just as soon wipe us off the planet
rather than have to deal with us at all?"
"How droll. Sit down, Alex, before you have a stroke." Mulder's voice was
mild. "When I said 'our relationship', I meant right now. I didn't mean
the past or the future."
Alex was glaring at him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. Forget it. Look, you're wiped out. So am I. Why don't we get
some sleep, and we can talk about it tomorrow? We can go over it all in the
car, on the way to the airport. And in the air."
Alex snickered, incredulous. "If you think I'm staying, you're wrong. I
don't relish getting shot in the middle of the night when you wake up from
one of your nightmares and decide to give yourself closure."
"Yeah? Where are you staying tonight, Alex? The car?"
Alex stopped. He bit his upper lip, considering. The unconscious act
brought Mulder's attention to Alex's mouth—it sent a little shaft of warm
urgency coiling in his belly. "Mulder, I—"
Mulder got up slowly from the bed and went to where Alex was standing. He
put out a hand as Alex flinched. Mulder ignored it and reached out to hold
Alex's right arm. "Alex. Please stay. Don't leave again. Please."
A mixture of emotions seemed to be fighting a battle inside of Alex at this;
Mulder could see it playing across his face. The swiftly hidden hurt, want
and hope were followed by doubt and suspicion. Alex drew back, away from
him. But his eyes were dark and he seemed to be fighting the urge to do
exactly the opposite. He swallowed. "I can't. I can't stay. I have to
go..."
"Why? Mulder nearly winced at the need in his own voice, but he'd said it
strongly enough that it was almost an accusation as well.
Alex let out his breath. "Screw this. I don't need this, not after today."
He moved to step around Mulder, who reached out again and caught his arm.
He flung Mulder's grip off of him and exclaimed, "Don't! Just—just stop.
I'm not going to be your consolation just because you're feeling sad now
that your little friend is gone."
Mulder stared at him with some surprise. "What? What the hell—Alex?"
And then it dawned on him. "Daein... what did he tell you? What did he say
to you?"
Alex stepped away, moving farther back, going to stand on the other side of
the bed, beside his bag and briefcase. The inner struggle still seemed to
be fighting it out inside of him. It was as if he was fighting
simultaneously to try not to leave, as well as to not stay. He muttered,
"He said that you'd—that you might need a friend tonight. Someone to—"
he stopped, swallowing again, the desire and the pain so clearly rippling
across his face that Mulder suddenly couldn't bear it any more.
Mulder swiftly crossed the distance to him and put his hand to Alex's face,
turning Alex to face him. He leaned in quickly to kiss him, pressing his
lips to Alex's, wondering at how he could have forgotten the exact sensation
of the warmth, of how sweet it was.
Alex was motionless. Mulder didn't stop; he kept moving over Alex's lips
until finally, stiffly, Alex's arm stole around Mulder's waist and abruptly
they were half-falling towards the bed, crashing down, Alex kissing him back
desperately, fiercely, possessively. The sudden heat was a flash flood
between them, drawing sheets of flame over Mulder's skin, all over his body.
Arms were busy, hands moving over each other's bodies and in a
single-minded delirium of purpose Mulder began to undo Alex's jeans. He
pulled back from Alex's mouth just long enough to gasp in a breath. Alex let
out a single, little despairing moan, "Mulder—"
"Come on, it's cold. Let's get under the covers," Mulder said, breathless.
He was yanking Alex's jeans down and trying to lift his own shirt off at the
same time. Alex fumblingly managed to take off his prosthetic. Mulder was
barely even aware of it, a little surprised by his own lack of reaction but
realizing in that moment that Alex meant too much to him for it even to be
an issue.
Somehow, they got into the bed, shoving the briefcase off onto the floor
where it fell with a thud. Mulder blindly reached for the switch on the
lamp.
And found himself being clutched by Alex who was almost trembling with
barely-suppressed desire, pressing every inch of his body to Mulder's.
Mulder found himself reveling in the heat of him, the slightly-slick feeling
of the fresh sheen of sweat on Alex's skin.
Alex was brokenly murmuring, "Want you, oh God, want you, Mulder," his voice
ragged, the urgency and need communicated so perfectly in it that Mulder
could feel the blood coursing in his veins in response, the involuntary
muscle spasms in his cock making it jump as Alex's voice seemed to leap into
his ears and take root in his brain. He wanted to fuck Alex into the floor.
The need to do so was quite suddenly refusing to leave him alone. It was
the only thing he wanted to do.
Blinking in the darkness, he said, "Alex, I have got to fuck you. Please.
Right now."
This had the effect of making Alex turn quite still and Mulder abruptly
wondered if he had freaked him or something. "What, is that too much for
you? Look, just—something. Do something. I need it. I need this. You."
Just as suddenly, his mouth and face was seized in a rushing torrent of
Alex; Alex kissing him everywhere, nibbling on his chin, mouthing hot trails
of fire across his cheek and to his ear, down his neck. He found himself
gasping for breath again as his neck and throat were intermittently bitten
and then soothed with Alex's tongue. The fresh scent of Alex's showered
hair and the surprising smoothness of his skin was quickly reducing Mulder
to nothing but a mindless creature ready to start begging, pleading,
demanding.
Alex in his arms, responding with such fierce hunger and desperate,
despairing delight that he wasn't sure he had ever felt anything like it
before... It brought a sense of completeness and fulfillment, to be wanted
like this. To know that it meant so much for the one who wanted him. And
in a burst of clarity, Mulder realized he had always wanted Alex too—it
had never been safe to see it until now, because of course how could he ever
have trusted him? He almost laughed. It took aliens, an entire base's
worth, to get them to set aside their differences and work out their issues.
Alex was pulling away and Mulder reached out to pull him back. "No, I just
need to get the—to get—" Alex was saying, to explain. Fumbling around
in the dark, Alex left Mulder lying in a de-boned and melting puddle of
anticipatory desire. And then Alex was chuckling, a bit unhinged, and
triumphantly saying, "—lube. We have lube. Thank God."
And then Alex was pressing all up against him again under the covers and
moving more slowly than before, a little more languorously. Sensuously,
like a writhing cat. Planting hot kisses almost playfully against any inch
of Mulder's body that happened to be before him in the dark.
Mulder jerked his hips, moving against Alex and said, "Alex. Now. Come on."
He rolled atop Alex, reversing their positions, and got up to kneel over
him, taking the small packet that Alex pressed into his hand. Ripping it
open, he smoothed the condom down over his cock, wondering at the exquisite
waiting as the sensation of it unrolling onto his hardness left him feeling
almost lightheaded.
And then Alex was lifting his legs, bringing his knees up under Mulder and
Mulder found his breath taken away at the movement, the sheer trust and
vulnerability of having Alex like this under him... It was almost too much.
He had to stop and count to five. To ten. He wasn't going to last long.
The thought of fucking Alex now was so good that he almost came right then
and there. But he reached up to take up the lube and squirt it slickly into
his palm before then reaching down to grasp Alex's cock. Alex cried out at
this, the silken shaft in Mulder's hand shuddering.
He slipped his finger down to press again the tight, secret hole, his other
hand caressing the velvet of Alex's balls. Alex's response was vocal,
strangled, "Oh fuck—Mulder, please, just—fucking do it. Give it to me."
Mulder obediently slid his finger into Alex's anus, feeling the burning,
soothing silkiness inside. The thought of that tightness being wrapped all
over his cock was enough to make him try to slide another finger into Alex a
little too fast and Alex hissed and winced under him. "Sorry," Mulder said,
hoarsely. He continued to methodically work at stretching his tight
opening, readying him. The groans and muttered ravings that this elicited
from Alex were enchanting, and Mulder wanted to do this to him forever.
Finally, Alex said, "Mulder, come on. I'm ready. Do it," and he brought
his legs up to rest them on Mulder's shoulders, on either side of his neck.
Mulder anointed his cock with more lube and then placed the head of it
against Alex, slowly pushing in, sliding in and in and up and up, farther,
deeper, until he was so deep inside him he couldn't go any further. The
accompanying, protracted groan that Alex gave at this was enough to make
Mulder grin evilly with abandon. Sheathed in the tightest, hottest and most
delicious place it had ever been, Mulder's cock was more at home than he
could remember it feeling before. Experimentally, he pulled back barely and
then thrust upwards, the feeling of sliding upward forever into heaven going
on deeper into the sky beyond—beyond—
And then Alex was shoving back against him, desperately, and Mulder knew he
wasn't about to deny him, obliging him with another hard thrust, feeling
Alex speared under him. At last. To finally have him. After wanting this,
for so long. Being denied it, by circumstance, by reason, by guilt, by his
mind. To just... let it all go, let it go with every hard fucking urgent
shove, harder, deeper, faster and Alex was suddenly twisting under him,
crying out as the eager pulsing of that now-recognizable scent filled the
air. Hot, sweat-scented, carrying the bitter salty scalding deliciousness
of thick tears. Alex's ass clenched down and gripped Mulder's cock as Alex
came, open-mouthed gasps and cries as the pleasure wracked him.
It tipped Mulder over the edge; too much overload to task his already
overburdened restraint. The waves of silvery peals and electric flooding of
his nerves zinged almost painfully through his body as it was seized by an
automatic impulse to drive into Alex's ass as hard as he could, as fast as
possible. But it didn't last and abruptly Mulder was coming, coming,
hanging suspended, over a high crest, a flight above the wash of pleasure, a
single moment of brightness where he could feel time stop. He could hear
his own voice shouting out, and then the feeling of trying to stay above, to
stay high up there on that beautiful stormy moment of
pleasure/pain/ecstasy/peace... Floating back.
Groggily, he wondered how much time had passed between that moment and the
next. It didn't seem to matter. But Alex's ankles were no longer by his
head and he was slumped over him, his face turned to rest against Alex's
upper chest, their hearts still pounding in a slightly offbeat rhythm
together.
Close and warm in the dark, feeling like coming home, to rest. To finally
understand something, something that was still slightly elusive. Oh, right.
Connection. To make this act their communion in a perfect comprehension of
mutual regard. Mulder wondered if they might have reached this point
earlier with less pain and fuss, but came to the conclusion that it was
actually a perfect conclusion to the extraordinary events of a day so far
outside his usual reality that it was only natural.
He chuckled quietly, soundlessly. Alex stirred under him. "Heavy," he
mumbled.
Mulder obediently rolled to one side and then pulled Alex back into his
arms. "I'm not usually this romantic," Mulder said.
Alex was quiet. "You call that romantic?" His tone was a little
noncommittal, obviously wondering what the hell Mulder was thinking.
Mulder stretched, feeling it all over, all throughout his body. Then
tightened his hold around Alex. He kissed Alex on the forehead, and on his
cheek. "Don't go," he whispered.
"Fuck. As if I could," Alex murmured, burrowing his face into Mulder's neck
a little more.
"No, I meant tomorrow morning. We need to take a road trip."
Alex didn't reply, but then pulled back slightly and asked, "What do you
mean? What do you have in mind?"
Mulder grinned in the darkness. "When was the last time you took a day off,
just for the hell of it? Just for yourself? It'll be fun. Come with me.
It'll be great. We can check out the Absarokas, and the Beartooth
Mountains."
Alex hesitated, and then said with some conviction, "You're crazy."
"Yeah, but will you?"
Alex sighed against him, his breath moving warm and almost too lightly
against Mulder's skin. "One day—I guess we could steal just one." And he
relaxed into Mulder a little more, contentedly, willing to believe in it at
least for now.
"After everything we've been through, I think we owe it to ourselves to take
a little happiness back. Reclaim it, you know? When was the last time you
felt this way, this sense of freedom?"
Alex didn't reply, just pressed his face deeper in against Mulder and
tightened his own arm about him.
"Actually," Mulder continued, pointing out the facts, "We have two days.
Tomorrow and Sunday. There isn't any reason why we couldn't extend it a
little. Go back on Sunday, in the evening. We can try to get flights back
then. What do you think?"
Alex said against him, "I think you're nuts, Mulder. But I'm okay with
that. Anyway, this sounds like a plan."
"If you think you're going to be falling asleep here, you're sadly
mistaken," Mulder said.
And smiled as he felt Alex's answering grin against his neck.
finis
Air Force Outpost
Northwest Wyoming
Chief Joseph Scenic Highway
Sunlight Basin, Wyoming
