The lecture hall was crowded as the people at the international symposium sat
eagerly awaiting the next lecture. It looked like an interesting way to spend
the early hours of the afternoon. The room buzzed with activity as the
presenter, a slender young woman with a sheaf of notes and a competent air
about her entered the hall.
A hush fell over the crowd as she made her way up to the podium. Putting down
her briefcase on the side table, she took out a thick file folder and opened
it.
"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Dr. Catherine Warner. The
Association has asked me to present to you a study I've been conducting on a
very interesting couple.
"Two adult, Caucasian males, one in his late thirties and the other in his
early thirties, in a committed relationship. We'll call the older of the
two FM
and the younger AK. Both are in good health and excellent physical condition,
and both fit the law enforcement model...at least loosely. The couple
presented
in my office complaining of an inability to communicate clearly on almost
every
level—except sexually. Other complaints included issues of trust and
inappropriate behavior, which we will get into later. Diagnosis are still
under
review even after the length of time spent in treatment, but herein lies the
problem...there are so many different psychosis at work that it has proven
difficult to list a primary Axis I diagnosis. To give you an idea of what I
mean, let's look at FM.
"FM has suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for the past 25 or so
years...since the day his sister was abducted. As a result other forms of
psychosis have evolved...Bipolar II Disorder w/ melancholic features being the
most prominent.
"AK on the other hand can only be described as having a clear diagnosis of
Antisocial Personality Disorder...as we proceed further into the study, you'll
see how the criteria are so unmistakably met. But when the subject is further
observed, evidence of Sexual Impulse Control Disorder and Narcissistic
Personality Disorder." The giggling coming from the rear of the auditorium
garnered a stern look from the stage that did absolutely nothing to quell the
sounds of glee.
"Let me start by saying that this case has taught me more about the
application
of our science than most of the professors I ever had. With that in mind, I
felt that it was best to present this study to you not in lecture form, but as
a story. I will be describing events for you, and sharing with you the
dialogue
by which these events were relayed to me.
"I hope you find these two as educational as I did."
She began to flip through her notes and removed a small bundle of papers
clipped together at the top. With a sigh that revealed the amount of energy
she
was about to expend, she stepped around the podium to the front of the stage
and was ready to begin.
"About six months ago, these two men walked into my office, and we began their
treatment with a typical assessment questionnaire...
Presenting Problem
Subjects report having difficulty communicating with hostility. Regular
fighting within the household and occasional physical violence though both
subjects report enjoying that part.
Past Psychiatric History/Treatment History
Subjects refuse to comment citing the fear of having Mr. FM locked up
permanently.
Medical History
Injuries too numerous to name in this forum. See the rather large file
folders
that comprise subjects' medical records
Basic Interview Questions AK
How have your emotional problems affected family life, work, and personal
life?
I don't have any emotional problems. Fox does, and they make me really crazy.
2 Have there been times when you've felt unusually high, excited, or restless
for several days at a time?
Not recently. Not since I knocked the amphetamines on the head.
3 Have there been times when other people have told you that you were too high
or too talkative or spoke too fast?
Nope. Not since I got off the heroin.
4 Have you ever had so much energy that you kept going and couldn't sleep
for days?
If I slept, I'd be roadkill.
5 Have you ever felt unusually depressed, sad, or hopeless for several
days or weeks at a time?
No.
6 Have you lost interest in doing things that you used to enjoy?
No
7 Have you noticed a change in your eating or sleeping habits?
Well, I eat him. He eats me and we don't really sleep much any more
8 Have you ever taken any antidepressant medication?
Does vodka count?
9 Have you ever had sudden spells or attacks of nervousness, panic, or strong
fear that just seems to come out of nowhere?
What do you think has kept us alive for this long?
10 Have you ever been more afraid of something specific than the average
person
is afraid of? (like heights, animals, flying, or something else)
Do global governmental conspiracies count?
11 Have you ever avoided going places because of what might happen, that you
might embarrass yourself?
This is a joke, right?
12 Have you ever been bothered by any thoughts that came into your mind over
and over though you've tried to ignore or stop them?
Once they cut your arm off without anaesthetic, it tends to stick in your
mind.
13 Have you ever had to repeat an action over and over, like checking or
counting or washing your hands over and over again?
Does fucking repeatedly classify as an obsessive compulsion?
14 Have you ever experienced flashbacks when you felt you were experiencing
some terrible experience from the past?
Like I said, the arm thing. It's not good.
15 Have you ever felt that you were outside yourself or disconnected for a
time?
Yeah, for a time. It started in Hong Kong Airport, but it's very
complicated.
It's a long story. Ask me when I have time.
6 Do you have difficulty controlling your temper?
No, but he does.
7 When you get angry do you throw things?
No, but he does...punches and stuff.
8Do you ever do things to cause yourself physical pain?
Don't need to. Got him for that.
9 Have you ever had any strange or peculiar things happen to you? Please
explain...
K-"You mean apart from being possessed by an alien, getting chased by men on
horseback with whips, and consorting with faceless aliens? Nope! Not a thing."
20 Have you ever felt others have wanted to hurt you for some special reason?
Frequently, but I can stay ahead of him.
21 Did you ever feel like you were getting special messages from outside
yourself?
Well, hell, yeah. I don't wear a tinfoil hat though.
22 Have you ever heard voices or seen things that no one else could see or
hear?
Of course. Haven't you?
23 Have you ever thought of hurting yourself?
Nope. Don't need to while I've got him.
24 Have you ever thought of harming someone else?
Only for work. There's no malice involved.
25 Do you presently have any feelings or plans to harm anyone?
Nope, but if you need a hit, I'm your man.
26 Describe your relationship with your mother?
Didn't know her.
27 Describe your relationship with your father?
Didn't know him.
27Describe your parents relationship with each other?
Listen. It doesn't apply. Now quit!
28 Describe your relationship with siblings?
For fuck's sake. What part of no don't you understand?
29Have you ever been a victim of abuse (physical, verbal, or psychological)?
Ask him.
30 Sexual History
No, I am not a virgin.
31 Sexual orientation is interestingly varied.
I'm an equal opportunity fucker. Bring it on.
32 Do you feel you have any sexual problems at present?
No
33 Have you had any problems in the past?
No
Basic Interview Questions 2 FM
1 How has your emotional problems affected family life, work, and personal
life?
Considering that my personal life consists of work, and my family life is
questionable under any circumstances, I would have to say that my emotional
problems are blending in quite nicely with everything I do.
2 Have there been times when you've felt unusually high, excited, or restless
for several days at a time?
Yes. It usually involves work getting shot at, my partner being abducted,
being infected with an alien virus. The other times, it usually involves
Alex,
but that's a bit personal.
3 Have there been times when other people have told you that you were too high
or too talkative or spoke too fast?
I'm not known for being the most expressive person when I speak, but my
partner
does sometimes criticize what I say when I seem to be getting a bit too
excited
about something. I know that's not what you're asking, though.
4 Have you ever had so much energy that you kept going and couldn't sleep for
days?
My sleep patterns are sketchy at best. With Alex in my bed, I find it
amazingly easy to "have so much energy that I keep going."
5 Have you ever felt unusually depressed, sad, or hopeless for several days or
weeks at a time?
You've never been at the center of a major government conspiracy, or been in
love with someone who is part of said conspiracy, have you?
6 Have you lost interest in doing things that you used to enjoy?
There are only a few things I enjoy, and I think it would be safe to say
that I
will never lose interest in at least one of them.
7 Have you noticed a change in your eating or sleeping habits?
Eating more, sleeping less. And, yes, the two are connected, as are Alex
and I
at the time.
8 Have you ever taken any antidepressant medication?
Well, it's not traditionally considered to be an antidepressant, but I have
been consuming a significant amount of something that usually lifts my
spirits,
among other things.
9 Have you ever had sudden spells or attacks of nervousness, panic, or strong
fear that just seems to come out of nowhere?
Yes, but they don't really come out of nowhere.
10 Have you ever been more afraid of something specific than the average
person
is afraid of? (like heights, animals, flying, or something else)
I'm sure the average person isn't afraid that their employer is systematically
trying to destroy them, but other than that, no. Oh, I have developed a fear
of cats, but only when they're in large groups and trying to kill me.
11 Have you ever avoided going places because of what might happen, that you
might embarrass yourself?
If I cared about not embarrassing myself, I'd never leave my apartment. When
Alex and I go out, I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that
embarrassing things will come up.
12 Have you ever been bothered by any thoughts that came into your mind over
and over though you've tried to ignore or stop them?
I used to be, but once Alex moved in, they went away.
13 Have you ever had to repeat an action over and over, like checking or
counting or washing your hands over and over again?
Yes, but if I have to keep these answers PG, I probably shouldn't go into
great
detail. But all you have to do is look at Alex to figure out why I feel
compelled to repeat it over and over again.
14 Have you ever experienced flashbacks when you felt you were experiencing
some terrible experience from the past?
It's a constant thing, doc.
15 Have you ever felt that you were outside yourself or disconnected for a
time?
Doc, it's like you're reading my mind. You aren't, are you?
16 Do you have difficulty controlling your temper?
In the past I had problems dealing with certain encounters. You could say I
overreacted a bit, but that seems to be under control now. For the most part.
17 When you get angry do you throw things?
Like punches? Sure. I've also been known to throw the occasional body up
against a wall, but that's not so much an anger thing.
18 Do you ever do things to cause yourself physical pain?
Yes, but that's usually in the heat of the moment.
19 Have you ever had any strange or peculiar things happen to you? Please
explain...
You have no idea how long it would take me to answer this. I'll have to
introduce you to the X-Files sometime.
20 Have you ever felt others have wanted to hurt you for some special reason?
Yes. It goes back to that government conspiracy issue.
21 Did you ever feel like you were getting special messages from outside
yourself?
Yes, but you'd understand that so much better if I had the time to explain the
past few years of my life.
22 Have you ever heard voices or seen things that no one else could see or
hear?
Yes. My partner can testify to the amount of things I've seen and heard that
she never seems to see or hear.
23 Have you ever thought of hurting yourself?
I did contemplate suicide at a particularly low point in my life.
24 Have you ever thought of harming someone else?
All the time.
25 Do you presently have any feelings or plans to harm anyone?
Yes.
26 Describe your relationship with your mother?
I love her and she loves me. However, I don't necessarily understand her
and I
think she would say the same thing about me.
27 Describe your relationship with your father?
I would categorize my relationship with him as cautious and reserved. I
believe we might have had a chance to come to terms with the issues that had
divided us, but he was killed.
27Describe your parents relationship with each other?
Like any child, I believed my parents were fairly satisfied with their
relationship. However, certain issues have raised a lot of questions about
that.
28 Describe your relationship with siblings?
I have a sister whom I love very much. She was abducted when we were kids and
I've spent my life looking for her. I can't rest until I know the complete
truth about what happened to her.
29 Have you ever been a victim of abuse (physical, verbal, or psychological)?
After my sister disappeared, my parents withdrew from me emotionally. In my
opinion, that doesn't constitute abuse, but I thought you might like to
know so
you could feel free to use it when you analyze my behavior towards my lover.
30 Sexual History
Why, yes, I have had sex in the past, believe it or not.
3Sexual orientation is___________
I'm not gay but my boyfriend is.
32 Do you feel you have any sexual problems at present?
I wish we could do it more.
33 Have you had any problems in the past?
Not having a partner for a while made it difficult to have sex, but other than
that, no.
Diagnosis
AK suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (ICD-9 code 30.8)
FM has 296.30—Recurring Major Depression NOS 309.8—Post Traumatic
Stress Disorder (chronic)
And at least one other Mood Disorder I have yet to identify
And both suffer from 297.30—Shared Psychotic Disorder ("Folie a` Deux)
Session Therapist's office 8/24/99
AK is half out of the chair with his gun in his hand.
AK slams his gun down onto the table.
AK gets out 3 knives, a garrote, a small cosh and another gun, and throws
them down
FM takes out a 9mm, .380, and the .22 that's strapped to his ankle. He
glares at Alex as he does so.
AK gives a heavy sigh, then takes the shiv out of the heel of his shoe.
The Dr. raises her eyebrows in Fox's direction.
FM pulls AK back towards him, making a show out of deep kissing the other
man, who melts in against him in a very interesting manner.
AK is gasping and appears eager, dragging the other man to his feet, then
to the door and beyond.
The Therapist shakes her head with a giggle.
Session 2 Therapists office 08/3.99
FM begins to rub Alex's thigh.
FM gazes schmoopily into Alex's eyes.
AK rests his head on Fox's shoulder.
AK sits up a little
The Therapist. looks dazed, confused, and just a bit afraid.
The Therapist's eyes are going back and forth as if she's watching a tennis
match
AK rolls his eyes to the ceiling.
SESSION 3 (Therapist's Office- 09/4/99)
AK adopts a silly voice.
Therapist clears her throat uncomfortably.
Therapist closes her notepad and gets up.
FM grunts.
Therapist scribbles furiously. She looks up at Alex
AK smiles sweetly.
Therapist is still scribbling furiously.
Therapist sits back in her chair, watching the interplay between the two men.
Therapist's eyebrow arches. She is obviously disturbed by the last response.
Therapist ignores the locker room humor.
The session tape finishes at this point. We hear the presenter announce
that there a little more dialogue that has been withheld, but that it does
not add anything further to our knowledge of the duo.
Session 4: Client's home in Alexandria 09/21/99
Therapist knocks on the door.
Therapist cracks a whip.
FM steps back.
Therapist cracks the whip again.
Therapist cracks the whip once more and backs Fox against the wall.
AK opens the door a crack
FM points at the doctor.
Therapist points to the floor.
AK closes the door.
Therapist CRACKS the whip.
FM kneels down.
AK opens the door cautiously.
Therapist lashes out. The whip cracks and wraps around Alex's waist.
Therapist pulls him closer.
Therapist strokes the back of her knuckles across his cheek.
AK gulps.
Therapist licks suddenly dry lips.
AK grins.
Therapist reaches into the back of her corset.
Therapist cracks whip.
Therapist backhands FM across the cheek.
AK seems distressed and unsure.
Therapist strokes FM's bruise gently.
Therapist cracks the whip again.
Therapist stands and walks behind Fox.
Therapist's hand trails from one end of his shoulder to the other.
AK grins.
FM laughs.
Therapist's whip comes down across FM's ass while he's in mid-laugh.
Therapist wields the whip once more.
AK stands up and walks towards the Doctor.
Therapist turns and CRACKS the whip.
Therapist CRACKS it again.
AK reaches the therapist and stands, menacing her.
Therapist tosses the whip aside and stands perfectly still.
Therapist remains silent.
AK turns to hold FM tight.
Therapist kneels.
AK kisses FM very tenderly, soothing him and holding him.
AK kisses FM.
AK pulls FM up to lean against him.
Therapist smiles.
FM sighs theatrically.
FM's leg starts to shake.
FM rubs AK's leg reassuringly.
FM takes AK's hand.
AK watches her warily.
FM smiles at AK.
Therapist grins.
Therapist smiles evilly.
FM pounces on AK
FM kisses AK.
Session 5: Therapist's office 10/04/99
Therapist's jaw drops. Her eyes fly open.
Therapist rubs her stomach.
Therapist leaves the room precipitously.
Therapist walks back in and sits down.
Therapist looks at AK.
Therapist sits back, turning green, letting them yell at each other.
Therapist rubs her tummy again.
Therapist gets up to leave.
Therapist leaves.
AK laughs.
Therapist laughs.
Therapist raises an eyebrow.
Therapist mockingly bows her head with a smile.
Therapist laughs.
Therapist laughs.
FM smiles in response.
FM clears throat.
FM grins.
FM sighs.
Therapist giggles.
FM grins.
FM gives a guilty look.
Session one on one with AK.
AK sits for a minute, a dubious expression on his face.
Therapist chuckles.
AK appears dubious.
AK grins, and then leans back, considering.
Therapist's eyebrows jump, then a smile follows.
Therapist laughs heartily.
Walter enters the Starbucks, sees the two of them and wanders across.
Therapist looks uneasy.
Therapist looks at AK.
Walter grabs the Therapist's arm
AK stands up.
Therapist pulls arm away and stands, knocking the chair over.
Walter turns and gets into K's face.
Therapist offers an icy glare.
AK folds his arms and looks mean.
Walter stalks away in a manly huff.
Session 8: Therapist's Office: 10/28/99
Therapist waggles her eyebrows.
FM laughs out loud. Then, he nudges AK.
FM puts an arm around AK.
AK stares moodily into space.
Therapist gives a smug look.
AK gets up and starts for the door.
Therapist shoots AK a glance.
Therapist sighs.
FM mumbles.
AK is prowling about, picking stuff up and putting it down again.
AK rolls his eyes, but sits and assumes a spurious attitude of interest.
FM growls.
Therapist sits back with a smile.
AK leans in and starts to unfasten buttons on FM's Levis.
FM kisses Alex
AK drops to knees between FM's knees.
FM starts groaning.
Therapist rolls eyes, squirming in her chair.
AK has extracted FM's penis, and is now going down on him—right down.
Therapist coughs.
FM gasps. Not just any gasp, but one of those really big ones that sounds
like he's dying or something
Therapist coughs loudly trying to get some attention.
Therapist> OKAY...THAT'S IT!
FM is now half sitting, half lying as he writhes, moans and groan s.
AK is making slurping sounds as the length of FM's penis hits the back of
his throat.
Therapist notes that FM's eyes are closed, AK's head is buried in his
crotch...CRACK goes the whip.
AK grunts, a little dazed.
Therapist gives a sweet smile.
AK reluctantly sits back on his heels.
FM whines.
AK laughs.
Therapist still smiles sweetly.
FM carefully tucks things away.
AK kisses FM hard.
FM starts going after AK's zipper.
AK Sits on the floor, leaning on FM's thigh.
Therapist chuckles
AK shifts uneasily.
FM turns AK's head to face him...they lock eyes..
AK lays his cheek against FM's thigh and rubs, cat-like.
Therapist waits
Therapist gives a satisfied smile, then a reassuring look to FM.
AK sits, looking as if he's just been stuffed.
FM leans forward, turns AK's head towards him and kisses him.
AK Flings self onto FM, overturning the chair and hurling them both to the
ground.
FM tries clumsily to get AK's shirt off.
Therapist walks over and stands over them, high heeled foot tapping, arms
crossed.
AK gives his lover a passionate kiss.
FM hugs AK tightly
FM sniffs.
Therapist allows the whip to fall down and hang off her arm, tickling them
both in the face.
AK sits up, pulling FM into his lap.
Therapist shakes her head...
FM looks up
AK has his hands under FM's clothing, busily rummaging and tweaking.
Therapist winks and leaves the room, looking back over her shoulder.
AK watches her progress with lowered jaw.
AK dives into FM's lap.
FM moans.
Silence, save for slurping and groaning, then rapid panting and a cry or
two can be heard.
When the heavy breathing calms down, and the two of them are into their
post-coital glow, the Therapist returns and tosses a throw blanket over two
naked forms.
FM beams a stupid grin somewhere in her direction.
FM kisses the top of AK's head.
FM eyes the video.
Therapist looks innocent.
AK grumbles as he climbs out of FM's embrace.
Therapist watches shamelessly.
FM clears his throat.
Therapist steps up and kisses FM.
There is a whole bunch of deep kissing going on at this point. AK is an
interested spectator until the Therapist reaches behind to grab AK.
Therapist turns in towards AK's face and kisses him the same way.
AK releases the doc, and deposits her on her feet.
Therapist smoothes her suit
FM looks at AK.
Closing Statement
In review, the subjects have been unable to avoid or resolve conflict
because of various trust issues...not to mention the fact that, with the
positive re-enforcement of heightened sexual activity; they just plain
didn't want to.
Let's face it...if you were given the opportunity to fuck every time you
and your significant other had a fight, no one would ever leave the house.
But the fact of the matter is that kind of relationship is volatile at
best, and would eventually self-destruct, taking the two of them along for
the ride. That isn't what they had set for their long term goals, and
eventually, despite the way they to this day continue to resist my
direction, decided to go about working for the betterment of their future
together
"The subjects are well on their way to establishing clear and
non-confrontational lines of communication. Each is learning techniques
that will enable him to unlearn unhealthy patterns of behavior that have
taken years of abuse to create. They are engaged in a dialectical behavior
modification program, outside my practice, that is not only teaching them
how to talk to each other without using each other's anger triggers. They
are also learning to use listening skills that seem to have the effect of
reducing the number of unnecessary conflicts in day to day life. And they
continue treatment with me, focused on the resolution of issues past on an
individual level, and issues present as a couple.
"I hope that you have found this study as enlightening as I have. If you
have any questions, my card has been included in the hand outs you received
at the beginning of the lecture...please feel free to contact my office."
She began to put her materials back into her briefcase and prepared to
leave. As she headed toward that stairs, a solitary voice from the rear of
the auditorium rang out.
"Hey, Doc...What did you learn from these two?"
The smile on her face shown brightly, and the soft chuckling for the back
did nothing to dim the amusement she radiated. "In my opinion, the moral
to this story is simply...Love conquers all." And with a purposeful stride
she proceeded down the stairs and toward the source of her glee.
The assemblage began to disperse as she made her way through the shaking
hands and pats on the back of congratulations. When she arrived at the
last row, she slowly surveyed the two dark figures splayed comfortably
across several chairs and licked her lips in deliberate invitation. "I
suppose you think that was cute."
The two of them giggled like a couple of high schoolers talking in class.
The mischief that played across each face in turn was contagious as she
began to snicker against her will.
"Hey, doc" Fox said, matter-of-factly, "it was a valid question."
"And what did you think of my answer?" she asked sarcastically.
With all the mirth gone from his face in an instant, Alex stood slowly,
sliding the length of his body against hers, and placing his hand at her
waist. Breathing against her cheek, into her ear he whispered, "I think
there are still a few more things we can teach you." And then allowed his
tongue to trail the line of her jaw to the fullness of her mouth. She
waited for a kiss that never came until she felt him speaking, mouthing
words against her lips. "Things like how to be a tease." He licked the
outline of her lips once and pulled away, leaving her cold and waiting, to
sit back down in Fox's lap with a grin.
Fox wrapped his arms protectively around his love, and Alex curled into as
small a ball as possible, burying his face in the crook of his guardian's
neck. "Oooo, Alex... I have a feeling she's gonna make you pay for that one."
"Kinda looking forward to it actually," he challenged as he began to nuzzle
and nip at the sensitive skin of Fox's throat. Giggles, heard not seen,
sounded. "Think she'll put that leather outfit on again... I liked that one."
end...
"Sure, Fine, Whatever..."
by Dr Ruthless, Niffusa and Frankie
"A brief longitudinal study of a dysfunctional homosexual relationship"
Emotional/Behavioral Assessment
Therapist Well, gentlemen...it's nice to meet you. Please come in and
have a seat
FM Thank you. Alex, stop casing out the place and sit down.
Therapist I know that starting counseling can be a bit unsettling...why
don't we start by getting to know each other a bit first
AK Yeah, right...
Therapist Alex? Would you like to tell me a little about yourself?
FM Good luck...
AK No
FM Alex, come on.
Therapist How about you, Fox?
AK What do you wanna know?
Therapist Tell me anything...
AK I'm called Alex.
FM Do you see what I have to put up with?
AK You don't have to put up with it, I already told you.
Therapist Is that short for something?
AK Alex is short for Alexei. Does it matter? I hate the name anyway.
Therapist Gentlemen please...if we are going to accomplish anything, we
must maintain a calm communication.
AK I'm calm.
FM You may find that impossible with him.
AK Fuck off!
FM Alex, we're not here to fight
AK Yeah, fine, whatever...
FM You do this all the time! Why can't you be civil for once?
Therapist Okay...I see we have some trouble with dialogue at the moment.
Fox, I want you to give me the opportunity to talk to Alex without an
comments from you.
FM Okay. I apologize.
AK That's a first.
FM Glares at his partner, eating sunflower seeds as he does so. He says
nothing.
Therapist Thank you. Alex? Are you uncomfortable with the idea of seeing
a relationship counselor?
AK Suppose so.
Therapist What is it that bothers you?
AK Don't want anyone in my head. He's bad enough.
FM He might actually have to be vulnerable. God forbid. Hey! That's
not fair.
Therapist Fox...I won't warn you again...give me a chance to talk to Alex
without comment, or I will ask you to leave the office till we are finished.
Therapist You feel like Fox analyzes you frequently?
AK He does it all the time. "It's a nice day"... How does that make you
feel, Alex?
FM Oh, so now because I have an interest in you, I'm analyzing you?
Jesus. Sorry.
AK He wants to change me all the time.
Therapist Alex, I want you to understand my role in this process. I'm
not here to "get inside your head". The only thing I will do in this is to
direct your communication, and try to help the two of you stay focused on
the problem being discussed. Is that okay with you?
AK Sure, whatever. I'm here now, aren't I?
Therapist Good. Fox? Do you understand the parameters I've set here?
I will not be your referee.
FM Yes, I do. And may I say you will have a hard time getting him to
focus.
Therapist What makes you say that?
FM Alex has a real problem sharing anything about himself. When he feels
he's being attacked, he either shuts down or takes out his gun.
Therapist WHAT THE F___! Alex, sit your ass down! What do you think
you're doing bringing a gun into my office! Give me the gun NOW! I said
NOW!
FM Alex, stop being an asshole and give her the gun. Doctor, would you
like mine too?
Therapist Alex? Did you hear what I said?
AK Yob tvoyu mat!
FM He didn't mean that, Doctor. I'm sure your mother is a very nice lady.
Therapist Okay...I see that I'm going to have to be extremely specific
about the rules here, so...RULE NUMBER 1 is all weapons will be checked at
the door when entering my office.
FM All of them?
Therapist RULE NUMBER 2 is cut the bullshit. Why are you really here?
Holy cow...what do the two of you do for a living?
AK Please, miss. He's still got his gun.
FM Fine.
Therapist Fox, I said all weapons. Any other weapons of mass
destruction I should be aware of?
FM Not unless you count his... no, nothing else.
AK Okay, but if they come after me here, I'll have to improvise, you know
that?
Therapist Now that we've made it to the disarmament stage, I will repeat
my question...what are you two really doing here? What do you hope to
accomplish?
FM I don't think he trusts me.
AK He doesn't like me. He just uses me for sex.
Therapist Alex? Do you want to respond to that? What behavior of his
makes you feel that way? What is it specifically?
AK Who are you asking? Him or me?
Therapist Both...Alex you first
AK When I try to talk to him he snarks at me, and then just wants to fuck
me. I never get to have a real conversation.
FM That's because when I try to have a real conversation with you, you
won't talk to me.
AK He's either too busy, or he wants to fuck.
Therapist Fox...what is it you consider to be a real conversation?
FM When I can tell something's bothering him and I ask him if he'd like
to talk about it, hearing "No, I'm going to bed," doesn't make for any
conversation.
Therapist Alex?
AK Have you ever read "Uncle Vanya"? Nope, neither has he, and when I
wanted to talk about it, he was too busy watching busty broads on video.
FM Alex, that is not true. I threw out all the het porn when you and I
hooked up.
AK Then, he's all turned on and wants a fuck.
AK Well, I take exception. He's not even fucking me... He's just using
me to get off.
FM Well, when I did want to talk to you about it, you wouldn't get your
nose out of "Guns and Ammo"
AK and what about "Long Dong Silver?" Didn't throw him out, did you?
Therapist How often do the two of you engage in sexual relations?
FM Jesus, Alex! You watch them as much as I do!
AK 2, maybe 3 times...
Therapist A week?
FM Probably more than the average.
AK No, a day.
Therapist A week?
FM A day
Therapist Do you often argue like this before you engage?
AK Sometimes we're not speaking. It's really hot then.
FM I wouldn't call it arguing.
Therapist In other words, the answer is yes.
FM Fine. Yes.
AK What's your point?
Therapist My point very simply is that for you, this is ...foreplay.
AK Is that good?
FM That would explain why I'm really turned on right now.
Therapist I'm not here to judge good or bad.
Therapist The question is, is this how you want your relationship to be?
AK No.
FM Not entirely.
Therapist In that case, I have an exercise for you.
FM Okay...
AK I think you should know that I only have one arm. Exercises aren't
all that easy.
FM You seem to work out just fine when we're in bed.
Therapist For our next session, I want the two of you to have sex at
least once a day without having argued first. And every time you do argue,
NO SEX.
FM You're kidding, right?
AK I've had plenty... what?
Therapist No, I'm not. The only time you're allowed to have sex till our
next session, is when you're not fighting.
FM Oh god...I'm never going to get laid.
Therapist It's going to be up to the two of you together... if you want
to fuck, then you'll have to be a team.
AK How the hell can you be a team when you're fucking?
FM Well, we do end up working really well together, Alex.
Therapist Are we agreed then?
AK What is that going to do?
FM I'm willing to give it a try.
Therapist Fox, what do you think this exercise will accomplish?
AK Uh... I'm outnumbered here...but I'm never going to get laid...
FM It will make us begin to associate our love making with affection as
opposed to hostility. I suppose that could work.
Therapist Very good. Well, I see that our time is up for
tonight...until next time?
AK Is that it?
FM (Whispers to Alex) Hey, if we get out of here, we can start in the car.
AK Start not arguing?
FM Right, dimwit.
AK You're seriously weird.
Therapist I explained to you before that this is a process...next time we
will discuss how well you did on your assignment and what you learned about
each other.
AK Well, can I have my gun back?
Therapist On your way out the door.
FM Yeah, yeah, yeah...let's go, Alex.
AK Oh, baby...better get one in quick...kiss me.
AK Next week?
Therapist same time, same place. Goodbye, gentlemen
FM Great, thanks, Doc.
AK mmmmmmhmmm
Therapist Fox, get off your knees and get out of my office.
FM oh, sure...sorry... coming, Alex?
AK Not quite... Oh, God!
FM Let's finish this in the back seat... I think we've made a good
start... I'm not angry... are you?
FM Bye, Doc.
AK Next week?
Therapist So, guys, how did you do?
AK Mmmmpf
FM Not too badly.
Therapist It seems that Alex doesn't quite share your sentiment, Fox.
Alex? Care to share?
AK Got balls the size of the Lincoln Memorial that's all.
Therapist I take it the two of you couldn't quite get the hang of not
fighting.
FM Well, you'd be fine if you didn't want to start bitching almost every
time we're about to have sex, Alex.
AK Every time we'd get started, he'd suddenly say "That's fighting" and
sneak off to the bathroom.
Therapist Care to give me an example, Alex?
FM Honey, it was fighting.
AK Well, this morning, All I said was "You're going to be late if we
don't hurry."
Therapist And what happened?
FM And I said that we had plenty of time for a quickie.
AK He just said okay, if that's how you feel and flounced off. And I'm
feeling really bad. I wasn't fighting. I was disagreeing, and that's
different.
FM Hey, what about you saying that if it's gotta be quick, we might as
well not do it at all? That's when I flounced off—and for the record, I
don't really flounce.
Therapist It sounds to me like what you are saying, isn't what he is
hearing...and vice versa. Fox, what goes through your mind when Alex
doesn't agree with you completely?
FM It's not that he disagrees with me, it's just the way he does it.
TherapistWhich is?
FM He sounds like a real asshole and gets very defensive.
AK Again with the insults...
FM I'm being honest, Alex. You can sound like you're ready for a fight
when you ask me how I'm doing.
AK That's you, not me. Why don't you listen?
Therapist Fox, do you think that maybe you need to listen more carefully
to the content of the conversation before making those judgments?
FM No, I don't. I don't understand why he has to sound so hostile all
the time. Would it kill him to talk to me with some respect?
AK He never listened. "I didn't kill your father." Smack! "You killed
my father"
FM Don't go there, Alex. Not now.
AK He just likes to hit me. He gets off on arguments.
Therapist What killed? Who said anything about killing?
FM It's because you're so fucking smug. Doctor, may I be excused?
Where's your bathroom?
Therapist Back to the killing, please.
AK If you don't like me, why don't you leave me?
Therapist Stay put, Fox.
FM Because I love you, you idiot. Come on, Doc. Five minutes, tops.
Therapist This is the perfect opportunity to work on our conflict
resolution techniques.
AK No, don't let him...not again.
Therapist You're a grown man, Fox. Show a little self-control.
Therapist When we have resolved the current source of hostility, then the
two of you can both ...do whatever it is that you do.
FM Okay, let's start some resolving!
AK Nothing...
Therapist I'll separate you if I have to, I swear it!
AK Resolve what, anyway.
FM Yeah, I can't remember what we were talking about.
AK Oh, baby...
Therapist Back to this killing, Alex?
AK Mmmhmm?
Therapist Hello...was I the only one who heard the word "kill"?
AK I don't know... did you hear it, Fox? What's the deal? We're talking
about home, not work.
Therapist SIGH I can see that we aren't going to get anything more
accomplished today...same time next week?
FM Yeah, sure, fine...
AK We've only been here for ten minutes...
Therapist The exercise is still to be practiced...no sex after a fight.
FM Alex, would you rather stay here, or go home and practice not fighting?
AK What about now? Have we had a fight? He'll say we did.
Therapist I'd be happy to continue if you two think you can keep your
hands to yourselves.
FM Shit. You can kill a mood faster than you killed my father.
Therapist There it is again! What is this about the killing of a father?
AK I did not kill your fucking father...
FM Yeah, you keep saying that.
AK He thinks I killed his father.
FM That's because he did kill my father.
AK How can I convince him? Just because of my job...
FM Why can't you admit it? It was the same gun that killed Scully's
sister.
AK Scully's sister was killed by that Hispanic asshole with the itchy
trigger finger, even Scully knows that.
FM But he said you did it.
AK You say you love me, but you believe that punk Cardinale over me?
What is that?
FM Look...forget it. I won't bring it up again.
AK No...It's gotta be settled...hasn't it, doc?
FM okay...
Therapist Of course, Alex...I'm glad to see your zeal on the matter.
Alex...just what exactly is your job?
AK I'm an assassin, why?
Therapist And you think that's a socially acceptable form of livelihood?
FM He's so good at it, why would he want to do anything else?
AK I don't have any choice.
FM That's bullshit. Learn a skill.
AK He'll kill my family
Therapist Do I detect a bit of hostility about the subject, Fox?
AK I've got plenty of skills. While we're on the subject, at least I
take responsibility for my actions.
FM Just a tad. It's that whole killing my father thing that I can't get
past. Honestly, I know that he's better than this. He's amazingly bright.
He can beat these people if he thought about it.
AK You don't help, do you?
FM What the hell is that supposed to mean? I would do anything to help
you.
AK You kill all the time, and you blame me. You even blamed me for Duane
Barry. I know you did it.
FM Alex, he was alive when I left him. When you left him, he was dying.
FM You bastard! I did not kill Duane Barry!
AK You throttled the poor bastard.
AK All I did was try to stop him choking.
FM Yeah, right...and what were you doing when you killed my father?
Selling him Avon?
AK I DID NOT KILL YOUR FATHER. Dammit...I wish I had. He was an evil
old fuck.
FM I know that, but it didn't give you the right to... wait, what do you
know about him?
AK Everything, asshole!
FM Doctor, tell him to answer me. Doc, are you okay?
Therapist ENOUGH! You two were made for each other...at least I don't
have to fear for two more unsuspecting idiots if you two weren't with each
other.
AK Don't talk to Fox like that.
FM Is this some radical new therapy?
Therapist YOU'RE BOTH NUTS!
FM Thanks, babe.
FM Hey, watch it. He's not nuts.
AK Jeez, Fox, I really didn't kill him.
AK I think she's nuts.
FM I'm sorry, Alex...it's almost easier to think that you did. Otherwise
I don't know who to blame for his death. She is nuts.
Therapist I can't figure out if the crap you're spewing is just a
detailed delusion, or if the two of you get your kicks terrorizing innocent
therapists!
AK Why do you wanna blame anyone? I'm not terrorizing you, honey...
FM Doctor, we're not delusional...
AK I just want him to believe me.
FM I do believe you, babe.
AK Ever since his partner was kidnapped by aliens he's been suspicious of
me.
FM Well, he was responsible for her abduction.
Therapist Don't call me "honey" asshole. Listen, I think we can work
together about these issues.
AK God, Fox, I really love you. I didn't abduct her. You do?
FM Don't call him asshole. He calls every broad honey...I mean every
woman...um. Don't call him an asshole.
Therapist There's an excellent in-patient program at Johns Hopkins that
can help you learn to distinguish fact from fiction...I could offer you a
referral.
FM I think we can work it out, too.
AK That was asshole in a therapeutic way, right Doc?
FM Doctor, we are not crazy.
AK Well, I'm not, anyway.
FM Maybe we can sort this out without sharing too much more sensitive
information. Hey...
AK Doc?
Therapist You expect me to believe that you, Special Agent FM of the FBI,
Oxford graduate, are having a homosexual relationship with the man you
suspect of killing your father and who you believe to be integral in the
"alien abduction" of your partner?
AK Yep, that about sums it up, right, Fox?
FM Yeah, but... have you seen his ass?
Therapist Oh boy...
FM Doc, I defer to your knowledge and leave us in your capable hands.
Therapist This is starting to sound like some bad fan fiction about a
stupid sci-fi show.
AK Does that mean we can't fight anymore if we want to get laid, or are
we doing something else this week?
Therapist But if you insist on working through this mess, I suppose the
least I can do is help you.
FM Doc, no need to get rude. Thank you.
Therapist I think I'd like to see what happens after one more week of our
little experiment...no sex after fighting without resolving the conflict.
FM Does it have to be completely resolved?
AK How do you mean, resolving the conflict? You never said we could do
that last week.
Therapist Yes, Fox...truly resolved.
Therapist I'm expanding the exercise
FM I'm willing to give it a try.
Therapist Okay, fellas...to help us get to know each other a little
better, I'd like to try a word game.
AK A word game?
Therapist Since words are what we use to think and communicate with,
it'll be helpful if we know how each one of us uses them
FM I use mine to say things
AK All the time
FM what's that supposed to mean?
AK You never stop.
FM Kiss my ass
Therapist Here's how it works. Alex, I'll say a word and then you'll say
the first thing you think of, in turn, Fox will say the first thing your
word brings to his mind. Next round, we reverse the procedure and I'll
start with Fox. Everyone understand
AK Oh, please...
FM no, I didn't say lick it...
FM Yeah, I understand.
Therapist GENTLEMEN!
Therapist Do I have to separate you?
FM I'd like to see you try
AK Go on then.
Therapist You two came to me...you're welcome to leave if you like.
FM Okay. Alex, meet me in the car?
Therapist No...good
Therapist then let's begin
AK Uh...what?
FM I guess we're playing a little game with the good doctor here, Alex.
AK Well, she didn't say anything.
Therapist Fox seems a bit resistant ...perhaps you should return when
he's not so petulant
FM Fine by me. I'm not paying you to play games.
AK Fox, for goodness sake, just because you don't want to... You're
wrecking it for both of us.
FM Great, it's my fault again...Okay, fine. Let's do this if we're going
to do this.
AK He's always like this. See what I mean?
FM Shut up, babe.
AK Well you are.
FM Just start the damn thing.
AK What words are we going to do anyway?
Therapist Gentlemen, I thought I made it clear that I was not going to
play referee...if the two of you are going to benefit anything from
therapy, you both have to be willing to learn. Are you willing Fox?
Therapist Close enough...
AK LOL
Therapist To answer your question, Alex, we're going to use everyday
words. I think you'll be surprised how much we as people project our
thinking and understanding of what things mean onto other people
Therapist Let's begin...
Therapist house
AK mouse
Therapist Fox?
FM what?
Therapist You need to respond to the word Alex just spoke
FM oh, right...um...rat
Therapist Now you go first, Fox...rat
FM Alex
AK Fuck
Therapist chair
AK bed
FM fuck
Therapist work
FM hard
AK You've gotta be kidding me, haven't you?
Therapist Alex?
FM that's more than one word.
Therapist Care to explain?
AK well...you're setting it up so that we'll talk about sex. You're
obsessed.
FM Excuse me? My job is hard, Alex. Get over it.
AK um... . toffee.
Therapist continuing on...
Therapist car
AK pool
FM Speedo
Therapist swim
FM wet
AK dream?
FM pfft...now who's obsessed?
Therapist dreams
AK night
FM sleep
Therapist pain
FM sex
AK bite
Therapist fuck
AK me
FM now
Therapist Are the two of you seeing a visible pattern developing?
FM gee, no, doc. Wanna share?
AK Umm...not really. How did that car get in there?
Therapist No matter what direction I set you in, the two of you bring the
conversation back around to sex
AK Is that a bad thing?
FM and what's the problem?
Therapist Well, despite how much fun it may be, it isn't really conducive
to communication
AK You mean we can't talk with our mouth full?
FM Well, we do talk before, after and sometimes during sex.
Therapist Let's go on a little longer and see if we can identify some of
the trigger mechanisms that keep your thoughts in that vein
Therapist family
FM my turn?
Therapist Yes Fox
FM okay. bond
AK stock
Therapist money
AK honey
FM sticky
Therapist bills
FM debt
AK society.
Therapist Could you explain that response for me, Alex
AK cocaine
AK huh? Paying a debt to society. Why, doc?
Therapist Just wanted to see where your thoughts were leading you...
Therapist punish
AK cut
FM uncut
Therapist Let's stop here...Alex, what lead you to the word "cut"?
AK I don't know what you mean. You said punish, didn't you?
Therapist yes
AK well, isn't that how you punish people?
Therapist by cutting them?
AK They cut my arm off.
Therapist Who took your arm Alex?
AK I don't know who they were... fucking peasants!
Therapist Peasants?
AK Yeah, peasants.
Therapist Moving on...
Therapist game
AK They woke me in the middle of the night and hacked off my arm.
FM Hey, doc. Come on in. Alex is hiding in the bedroom.
FM whoa...
FMAlex!
AK Go away. I have a headache.
FM He's just upset that I wouldn't get him off before you got here.
FM Alex...come on out, man... You've gotta see this.
AK Why?
TherapistOn your knees...now!
FM okay...Alex! Get out here, you chickenshit!
Therapist I SAID NOW!
FM uh... yes ma'am
FMALEX!
Therapist Step out, Alex
FM Yeah, step out, Alex...
Therapist SILENCE!
AK Unhhhh... pardon me?
Therapist Come here, Alex
FM I think we drove her over the edge, babe.
AK Why? I mean, I have asthma, and my doc says no excitement,
and...
FM Alex, I think this is her idea of foreplay
Therapist I said come here.
FM don't hurt him, doc. I need him for later.
Therapist Did I tell you to speak, Fox?
AK Unh...
FM oh, sorry.
AK Is this covered on our medical plan?
FM I don't remember asking for the full dom. package...
Therapist Consider this a free session.
AK Foooooox?
FM yeah?
AK I don't like this.
FM same here, babe
Therapist You will, pretty...you will
Therapist Alex, kneel beside Fox.
FM ::whispers:: I bet we could take her
AK They might never find our bodies
Therapist The two of you are going to learn how to communicate with each
other to save both your asses. Believe me gentlemen, I have your best
interests at heart.
AK :::whining::: Fox's ass is a national treasure.
FM That why we have to save it.
AK Look at it!
Therapist I have.
FM Alex, should I be worried?
AK I am
FM I knew I should have answered the door with my gun...
Therapist Not unless you start thinking about not cooperating
FM Okay, fine. What do you want us to do?
AK Got my pistol...
AK my pistol against her 38s, yeah?
Therapist You mean this gun?
FM Hey...where'd you get that?
AK Gahh..
Therapist Just do as you're told and you'll be fine. In fact, you may
come out a bit better for the ride
FM All right. Let's ride.
AK A ride?
FM Just go with it, lover.
Therapist When you're distracted, Fox, you are VERY DISTRACTED.
FM Fuck! Thanks, Alex. You made me forget my gun.
Therapist Stop now! Enough with the petulant child act, Fox. As cute as
that pout is, it's not the way to treat the people around you if you want
to be respected.
FM Hey, why is this all on me?
AK Because you're a dickhead?
FM Why don't you suck my dickhead, Alex?
AK I'd love to, but you wouldn't suck on mine
Therapist And YOU...grow the fuck up you spoiled brat! I don't care how
sweet that ass of yours is, it would look much prettier with red stripes.
FM Doc, I would pay to see you do that to him.
Therapist Dr. Mulder, do you not see a problem with the desire to watch
an outsider punishing your significant other?
Therapist I've come to the conclusion that the only way to help the two
of you is to try a little classical conditioning.
AK Well, what problem? I know I love to see people whack the hell out of
Fox.
FM He really does...
AK Oh? Classical, huh? Like, Schubert and stuff? I prefer Megadeth.
Therapist The two of you will cater to my whims tonight...all night.
FM Got any Elvis? Oooh, sounds ominous
Therapist As the night goes on, as I see behavior that is counter
productive to our set goals, the offender will be punished.
FM is that a promise?
Therapist as a matter of fact...yes.
AK Uh... What set goals?
FM hmm..okay, she's serious...
AK Fox?
FM It's okay, babe...
Therapist Our goals are simple...get the two of you to a place where you
can work together and communicate without the bickering.
FM But our bickering is what makes us us
AK No it isn't...
Therapist I won't hurt you unless you give me a reason to.
FM Alex, don't argue with me
AK I'm not.
FM Just listen to her. We'll be fine.
Therapist Good thinking, Fox. Very good thinking indeed, Fox
FM Thanks, doc...uh, ma'am...whatever
AK Huh... Lick her boots, why don't you.
Therapist Now I am going to sit here on the couch, and the two of you are
going to stay right where you are. We're going to have our session like
this. Anytime the two of you begin to behave like a couple of
five-year-olds, I will treat you accordingly. Boot licking will come
later, my dear
FM does that mean you'll put us to bed without dessert?
AK I like meat best.
Therapist That means that I won't put you to bed at all, Foxlet.
FM Don't call me that.
AK I like Foxlet...
Therapist I'll call you what I wish. Are we clear?
FM You can call me that, but not Cruella over there. I can kill you
with one hand, doc. Did you know that?
Therapist Why would you want to do that? I'm here to help you.
AK Hey, Fox...wanna know what I call you?
FM What do you call me, babe?
AK Often?
FM I like that.
Therapist Bad jokes will be punished even more severely than
disobedience, Alex...consider yourself warned
FM Hey, just because you can't appreciate a joke, doesn't mean you have
to punish him.
AK Hey, Fox, wanna know what I can do to you with only one hand?
FM beat me?
FM OW! Bitch!
Therapist Now do I have your undivided attention?
Okay, I do remember Fox actually getting up and trying to get the whip from
her or something. And the heel passing through his foot? That's a
serious injury.
Therapist steps forward, and the spike of her heel passes through the
center of Fox's foot...HARD.
AK Hey... You're hurting my baby.
FM Fuck! Alex, help me!
Therapist Do you think I'm new at this, boy?!
AK You think that pain will stop me? I've been hurt by masters.
FM What the hell is wrong with you?
FM Now what?
AK You hurt him, and I won't be responsible.
FM Alex, what's wrong with her?
AK It's ok, baby. I won't let her hurt you.
FM God...she's nuts.
FM What're you doing, doc?
AK Baby, don't worry.
FM Why is she just kneeling there?
AK I don't really know. Poke her and see if she falls over.
Therapist I thought it was time that the two of two saw that you can work
together when you need to.
FM We know we can work together.
AK No, I see what she means.
FM Alex, don't tell me you agree with this shit.
Therapist Really? Last time we were together, all the two of you
kept saying was how much you don't trust each other.
AK I wanted to help you then. That's what the doc means.
FM God, she could have just had us role-play instead of playing Indiana
Jones with the fucking whip. I may sue.
Therapist The kneeling was just to keep Alex from ripping my throat out.
FM Baby, I know you always have my back if I need you. We don't need her
to prove that.
FM You should have stayed standing then.
Therapist Oh, Fox, please...it's barely a flesh wound.
FM Listen, when I go into therapy, I expect to work with a professional,
not some insane control freak.
AK Fox, baby, don't be like that. She's trying to help us.
FM Okay, fine.
Therapist I tried the traditional approach with you, but you are too well
trained for any of the tried and true techniques to work...I had to get
your attention
FM Fine. Can you leave now so Alex and I can have sex?
AK Baby, Wait... Mmmmm...That's nice. What?
Therapist No...We just took a step forward and I want to pursue this a
bit first... You'll have your reward a little later.
FM Okay...are we allowed to sit down for this?
Therapist Yes.
Therapist Fox...when you felt threatened, you immediately reached for
Alex...
FM Of course, I did.
Therapist But last time in my office, you said repeatedly that you don't
trust Alex...how do you reconcile this?
FM I never said I don't trust him. I just have some issues with how we
communicate.
Therapist Such as?
AK Yeah, Fox, such as?
FM Such as your defensiveness... Look, why are we rehashing all of this?
Therapist Because it was never really settled...only sidestepped.
AK Baby, I tried to stop her... I'm sorry.
FM Alex, you didn't do anything wrong.
FM Doctor, it was sidestepped because the session ended.
AK I just wanted to stop her hurting you.
Therapist And why did the session end, Fox?
FM I know you did. It's okay. I'm not hurt.
Therapist Like I said...you're allowing your training to get in the way
of an open communication here.
FM Because the clock said so?
FM Okay. Ask me a question and I'll answer it, no bullshit.
Therapist No, Fox...now answer the question...such as?
AK What? I don't understand...
Therapist What is it about the way the two of you communicate that causes
you to be in such constant contention?
FM It's what you were talking about earlier. We tend to have sex when we
fight before we've satisfactorily resolved our conflict. It's easy not to
think about, but I would like for there to be more than that. We've
conditioned ourselves to become hostile towards one another because we know
it will lead to sex. We have to stop that.
AK Fox, I don't feel hostile to you. I love you.
Therapist And what method do you think will be most effective in
reconditioning your behavior? Not Alex's...yours?
FM I don't either, but we seem to let everything we say to each other
turn into a fight, no matter how banal. I love you too, babe. I have to
be less of a smart-ass, I guess.
Therapist That's good...what else?
AK But you are brilliant. I like that.
AK You mean just fuck him wherever?
FM We do that, but sometimes we say things to each other that start us
fighting. See, that I could go for.
Therapist Something like that...no fighting—just enjoying.
Therapist Okay...Alex?
AK Now?
Therapist What about the way the two of you talk to each other brings out
the fighter in you?
AK Maybe the doc would be embarrassed?
Therapist No...not now, Alex.
FM Damn...
AK Doc, Fox is just so... I don't know how to say it.
Therapist try
AK He makes me want to bite him.
FM Whoa, baby...really?
Therapist I realize that, Alex...but the question is why—other than the
obvious.
AK He makes me want to make a hole in him and climb in. I don't know
why. I just look at him and I feel so... Antsy.
Therapist Antsy?
Therapist Does Fox intimidate you?
FM I don't think so... I'm feeling a little antsy myself right now.
Therapist Cool it, stud...we focused on you for a bit, now we need to
focus on Alex
AK I don't know. My whole body gets involved. I can't think straight
FM Hey, you asked me the question.
AK Fox knows about these things.
Therapist You've been conditioned to react to things physically because
of your work...is that correct, Alex? No I didn't, I asked Alex if you
intimidate him.
FM No, you didn't. You asked if... Are you sure?
Therapist Quite
FM Damn.
AK Fox? Are you okay?
FM Yeah, I'm fine...just a little distracted.
Therapist Alex...please answer me...
AK Fox is mine. If he doesn't love me, I don't know what to do.
Therapist You have been conditioned to react to things physically because
of your work...is that correct, Alex?
Therapist This is important, Alex
AK If I get it wrong, people die,
Therapist Answer me straight, Alex
AK I don't know what you want.
Therapist The truth...I asked a yes or no question
FM Babe, do you react physically before you think? Because of what you
have to do all the time? Sorry, doc... didn't mean to butt in.
Therapist It's okay, Fox...it's important that you understand as well.
AK Yes, I suppose so.
Therapist And the fact that you can explain things to each other in a way
that you both understand is important.
Therapist So if your body responds to things before your mind does,
doesn't it make sense that...
AK I don't know what it means.
Therapist Resolving conflict is something that is done with your brain,
not your body. But your body responds before your mind has a chance to
process the situation. So...
FM Alex, do you get what she's saying?
AK She's saying I can't control myself...that it's all my fault.
FM No, not at all...it's nobody's fault.
Therapist You never give yourself the opportunity to deal with a conflict
and the issue gets put aside for a later that never comes.
Therapist No, Alex. That's not what I'm saying.
AK But it isn't my fault.
FM It's easier for us to have sex than to think things out first.
AK I like making love to you
Therapist All I'm suggesting here is that both of you need to learn a few
new coping skills in order for your issues to come to resolution.
AK Are you telling me I need to stop?
FM I know, I like it too, but I think we're both guilty of taking the
easy way out. Baby, I'd kill you if you ever stop. I think that we need
to make ourselves slow down long enough to address why we're fighting.
AK I don't want you to stop wanting me?
FM That will never happen. I love you, you... I love you, babe.
AK But you think I'm just a creature of instinct.
FM Don't knock it, lover. That's a huge part of why I'm attracted to you.
I just think we need to re-channel some of that instinct.
Therapist If that were the case, Alex, you would never have seen the need
to seek counseling. I think you knew these things deep down, you just
needed someone to lead it out of you.
AK but I don't want to be programmed. I can control it, I can!
FM Alex, you're not being programmed...I trust you to control it. I
have to control it too.
AK You think it's all my fault.
Therapist No, Alex.
FM Baby, are you listening to me? I just said that half the problem is
mine.
Therapist The fact of the matter is that you and Fox both are victims of
your circumstance
AK I don't know what you want from me?
Therapist Alex? What do you want from Fox?
FM Tell me. Please.
AK I want him to love me. That's all.
FM I do love you. I love you so much it makes me crazy.
Therapist No...I think there is more to it than that.
AK Fox? I don't want to make you crazy. I want to make you happy.
Therapist Alex...focus on me for a minute.
Therapist Of these things, which is the most important to you: security,
compassion, or companionship?
AK I don't know... How do I tell?
Therapist Only you can decide what your priorities are.
Therapist Which is the thing you think is the most important to a
relationship?
AK I think that possibly companionship is most important.
Therapist So then it seems to me that more than anything else, you want
you and Fox to be equals in this relationship, and you fear that that is
not the case.
AK I want him to be with me. That's true, yes.
Therapist So what can Fox do to help you resolve those fears, other than
fuck you?
AK I don't know. He's my love. I wish he was my friend too.
Therapist Fox?
FM I don't know what to say.
Therapist If you were to feel the way Alex does right now, what would you
want him to say to you.
FM I don't know what he could say other than to agree with me.
Therapist He has fears that you two have never looked at before...if they
were your fears, what could he say to you to help allay those fears
Therapist Help him, Alex...
FM Doctor, Alex and I went from being enemies to being lovers. We have
never been friends. I would want him to tell me that we can work on
resolving that.
AK Fox, Anything you want...
Therapist Is that it, Alex? Is that what you want to know?
AK I don't know how to start.
Therapist You already have.
AK Help me.
Therapist You two have done incredible work tonight.
AK I don't know what he wants from me.
FM I want the same things you do. I want us to feel as if we're equals
in this relationship.
AK Why don't we have them already then if we both want them?
FM Because we've never stopped fucking long enough to really see what
we're missing.
Therapist I think the next thing we need to address is the feelings of
dominance and inadequacy from both sides of this relationship.
AK Do we have those?
FM Baby, I think you do and I know I do.
Therapist I think the possibility is there.
AK Fox? Help me understand this.
Therapist So Fox... What do you think of my approach now?
FM I can handle this approach, doc. But do me a favor...leave the whip at
home for our next session.
Therapist Deal.
AK But you look pretty hot in the leather gear.
Therapist Don't worry, Alex...this will get easier. But for now, you've
both earned your reward.
FM Hey, did you hear that?
AK Yeah, but I'm not sure that I know what it means.
Therapist Why don't you show him, Fox.
AK Show me what?
AK Oh, god...
FM Shut up, babe.
Therapist We should start with what the two of you learned about each
other this week. Ready?
FM Sure
AK Not really. I don't know what I learned. Remind me
Therapist Did you ask Fox any questions about his history?
AK Well, a bit. But I knew that stuff before. He wants to find his
sister, you know.
Therapist But did you learn anything new about how he felt about those
events?
AK The girlfriend in England was new. She sounded like a bitch.
Therapist What girlfriend?
FM Just someone I met while going to Oxford. She's a non-issue.
AK He was in love with this woman in England when he was at University
there... She was a really evil woman from the sound of it.
Therapist Tell me about her, Fox
AK Better yet, Fox, show her your scars.
FM I'd rather not if that's okay.
Therapist Okay...you don't have to tell me, but did you tell Alex about
it? How you felt during and after the relationship was over, I mean?
AK He told me that she put him off relationships.
Therapist But no more detail than that?
AK He doesn't want me to talk about it, I can tell. Fox?
FM I don't see how talking about her will help us. I know you won't
hurt me the way she did, so end of discussion.
Therapist Yes you do...this is basic, Fox. I know it's difficult, but
you know that experiences of the past influence the choices we make in the
present
AK I dunno. I think that's why he doesn't trust me.
Therapist Even if that influence is sub-conscious
FM Fine. What do you want to know?
Therapist Alex? What do you want to know?
AK Is she the reason you don't trust me?
FM She may have something to do with why I don't trust anyone I'm
intimate with, yes.
Therapist Keep asking, Alex...this is how you learn about each other.
AK Do you want me to tie you up and whip your cock with stinging nettles?
I mean, how can I convince you I really love you.
FM Babe, it's my problem to sort out. I know you love me. I mean, deep
down I know it's true, but there's a little part of me that's waiting for
you to screw me over.
Therapist Alex, I think the more clarifying question to ask next might
be, what did she do to cause that kind of distrust?
AK Why does what she did to you make you wary of me, Fox? What's the
worst thing I could do to you? I mean the real, absolute worst thing?
FM I loved her and she knew it. She used that to manipulate me and ended
up playing me for a fool. Don't take this the wrong way, but you betrayed
my trust once...
AK Not from my perspective I didn't.
Therapist Fox, how did Alex betray you?
FM He posed as someone I could trust, but it turned out he was working
against me.
Therapist Was he working for the same people he works for now?
FM Yes.
AK No. Not true. I worked with you. I protected you. They would have
taken you if I hadn't stopped you.
Therapist Is he working against you now?
FM I don't know.
Therapist Alex?
AK I'm not working for the same people.
FM You have nothing to do with the smoking bastard?
AK I don't work for him.
Therapist Will you two excuse me a moment?
AK okay.
FM Alex, who are you working for? You never tell me.
AK I work with an Englishman. He and the smoker don't agree.
FM That's probably because he has his own agenda. That doesn't
necessarily mean you aren't working against me.
AK Fox, if I was working against you, I wouldn't feed you the information
I do. I could have killed you at least 3 times a night since we got
together.
FM I know that. Logically, I understand, but you could be lulling me
into a false sense of security.
AK Why would I? You and I are working towards the same things.
FM I don't know the way your mind works. Maybe you'd get off on it. So
you say...
AK I tell you everything I can without putting your life in danger.
FM Fine, let's just drop it. I'll blame my paranoia on Phoebe and be
done with it, okay?
Therapist Actually...it's not okay
AK What do you want from me? How can I convince you?
FM You could stop working for those people.
Therapist Scapegoating doesn't solve the problem, Fox
Therapist Alex?
AK What? How can I stop?
Therapist What's keeping you there?
AK I can't. You won't believe how much depends on it, doc.
Therapist Try me
AK The world as we know it will come to an end and we'll all become
incubators for aliens who want the earth?
FM When he puts it that way, makes me sound pretty selfish, doesn't it?
AK You and I are probably two of a handful that won't be suitable for
incubating the little bastards, Fox, I made sure of that.
FM How the hell can you have all this power, Alex?
Therapist Actually, he makes himself sound certifiable.
FM Doc, trust me, he's not lying.
Therapist For some reason...I believe you. Fox, do you believe he needs
to be where he is?
AK I don't have too much power. I just weasel myself in where I need to
be.
FM If I have to think about everyone besides myself, yes, he's where he
need to be.
AK Baby, why do you think I got you to Tunguska? I had to get you
inoculated.
Therapist Gentlemen, we need to scale this down from a global level to a
more personal one.
FM How did you know I'd take you along with me? I was ready to leave you
at the airport.
AK I yelled at you in Russian, didn't I? You ever hear me do that before?
FM No, but you were pissed off. There's no way you could have
guaranteed I wouldn't ignore you.
AK I had other contingency plans if that hadn't worked, but I know you.
I knew it would work.
FM That's a frightening thought.
AK What, love? That I know you? You'd rather I didn't?
FM Yeah..apparently better than I know myself. I don't like it
AK Not better, but I know you. I love you. I loved you then too.
FM I want to say I felt the same way, but...
AK But if I'd asked you to take me with you, you'd have refused, wouldn't
you? Remember what you said to me? "We can't help you, K."
AK You wouldn't have agreed on principal would you?
FM I remember. I didn't know how useful you'd be and even if I did, the
last thing I wanted to do was work with you. You're right. You okay, doc?
Are we making you sick or something?
AK So I had to manipulate you. I needed to go with you and make sure you
were safe. Oh, Doc? You incubating an alien or what?
Therapist No...I'll be fine...just a touch of the flu...please continue,
you're doing splendidly.
FM You're great at manipulating me, babe
AK I don't want to manipulate you. I just want to love you.
FM I don't think the two are mutually exclusive.
AK If I fuck about with you, you won't trust me, will you?
Therapist Gentlemen, I want you to stay here and keep this conversation
going for as long as you can.
It seems that, in this environment, you're more prone to talking than other
activities, so I think it's a good idea for you to remain here.
Therapist I'm not feeling very well.
AK Uh...bye doc.
Therapist The cleaning crew will see to locking up...no stains on the
couch, okay?
FM I'm not making any promises.
AK Hey, what do you make of that? Pretty weird, huh:
FM I can't believe she just left like that.
AK You're a psychologist. Why did she do that?
FM Well, she looked pretty green around the gills, but I have no idea why
she'd leave expecting us to continue talking. Yes, we were doing well, but
she knows how easily distracted we are.
AK You think she's on the level?
FM I think so. What do you think?
AK I have no clue. She does some pretty weird shit. Good legs though.
FM Yeah, her methods are unconventional at best. But she did look hot in
that leather. You noticed, too?
AK Noticed? Whoa, mama! Baby, you didn't notice my sincere enthusiasm
after that? My ardor got a lot harder...
FM Are you telling me you weren't turned on solely by me? I'm insulted!
AK LOL... I bet she got to you too...
FM Of course she did.
AK Loads of things turn me on... You especially.
FM Hmm...I feel the same way. Feeling that way now, actually. But do
you think we should talk some more? You know, doctor's orders and all
that shit.
AK Okay. What did you want to talk about?
FM I don't remember...I'm sorry, I can't stop thinking about fucking you
on this couch. What do you want to talk about?
AK Well...we were talking about not getting stains on the couch.
FM oh, right. Um, do you just want to head home, then? I'll make sure
we don't get charged for this session.
AK Hey, baby, I don't mind paying. She's okay. You look really hot in
that suit. New?
FM Yes it is, actually. I'm surprised you noticed.
AK Jeez, lover, think I ever fail to look at you? Those fit real tight
over your butt.
FM Nah, but I figured all my suits look the same to you. I'm not exactly
a snazzy dresser. You've been checking out my ass...
AK Baby, you are the snazziest, and I check it out every single day.
FM But you shouldn't be talking about tight pants, babe.
AK Hey, you don't like 'em on me?
FM Are you kidding me?
AK Hoped you did, babe.
FM The only thing I like better than seeing you in those jeans, is seeing
you out of them.
AK I love yours on you, but I like them better off.
FM Babe, unless you want me to rip those off you right here, I say we
leave.
AK Okay. Let's go home.
FM Great idea.
Session with FM alone (Smithsonian Institute. 10/13/99)
Therapist Thanks, for meeting me here Fox
FM No problem, but can I ask why here?
Therapist I thought we might do better away from the office...maybe give
you a bit more breathing room
FM oh, okay. You'll have to forgive me if I'm a little distracted.
Therapist Why?
FM I just have a tendency to be on the lookout for... trouble. Old habit.
Therapist I see...well at least I know I'll be safe smile
FM As safe as you can be with me looking out for you.
Therapist How have things been with you and Alex this week?
FM Pretty good. Yeah, they've been good.
Therapist Care to elaborate on that a bit?
FM We've been talking like you wanted us to. And we've been... the sex
has been really good, too.
Therapist You were supposed to spend some time getting to know each
other's history...what did you find out?
FM I found out that I should shut the hell up when I start to feel sorry
for myself.
FM When I did finally manage to get any information out of him, I found
out that he's had a hard life. His dad was killed when Alex was only ten.
Therapist Tell me about it? How did that affect him?
FM He wouldn't go into it with me, but I'm sure it had the same effect as
it would on any young boy who lost his father.
Therapist From your POV, what effect would that be?
FM He would have no male role model. Considering his father was executed
for being a spy, he'd have no sense of loyalty to any one government. But
that's getting more into who he is now.
Therapist No. Go on...I'm interested to see how you think the events of
his childhood effect him today
FM He has problems with authority figures yet he seeks their approval. I
see it in the way he interacts with me.
Therapist And you think that attitude comes from the death of his father?
FM Perhaps... or the fallout. I got the impression that his home life
was less than ideal after his father was killed. He had no structure at
home and learned from an early age that he had to take care of himself.
TherapistFox, I guess what I want to know is...now that you have a better
understanding of how Alex's past affected him, how does it change the way
you see him now?
FM I feel sorry for him. Is that bad?
TherapistNot necessarily...sympathy can be a very healthy thing that
keeps us connected, but maybe you should explain a little further.
FM Well, before I wanted to protect him to keep him safe. You know, so
he'd always be here for me. Now, I want to protect him because he needs
someone to look out for him. He's a lot more vulnerable than people think.
FM I don't even know if that makes any sense.
Therapist Has this new revelation changed the way you see him in terms
of his abilities?
FMHonestly, yes. I see him as more helpless. I know he's not.
Rationally I know he's the same man. But...I know he'll resent it if he
knew I think of him as helpless.
Therapist So if you think he'll resent it, how do you think you can begin
to reconcile what you know to be the facts with what you feel?
FM I was hoping you could tell me, doc.
Therapist I can't give you answers, Fox...you know that. But maybe this
will help... Three years ago, did you have any doubt that Alex was capable
of doing his job?
FMNo, none.
TherapistWhy not?
FMHe was very confident, capable. He just looked like someone who could
do what he had to do.
Therapist Okay. Two years ago...any doubts?
FMNo. Look, I know what you're getting at. Yes he's still capable. I
know that. It's just something I have to get over on my own.
TherapistYou wanted answers from me, Fox...now you're balking when those
answers are staring you in the face.
FMWell, you're not telling me anything that I don't already know. Look,
I'm sorry. I'm just afraid that I've lost a little respect for him and I
don't want that.
TherapistBecause you found out that he was in fact human?
FMMaybe.
TherapistHow did the loss of your sister effect you? Did it break you?
FM No, it just made me more focused.
TherapistReally? Hmmm... What you think the loss of his father did to
him?
FM grins.
FM okay, doc. You've made your point. I think it made him a fighter.
TherapistThank you.
Therapist One the problems I see you two facing is this incessant need
you have to "get over things on my own." What do you think that makes Alex
think and feel about your relationship? Put yourself behind his eyes.
FMI have no idea what he thinks about our relationship.
TherapistCome, Fox...don't bullshit me. You're a profiler, not just by
trade but by nature...best profiler the FBI has seen in years...Behavioral
Science's golden boy...
FMI don't make a habit of profiling my lovers.
TherapistYou really expect me to believe that you have no idea about what
the man you LIVE with thinks about your relationship?
FMFine. He doesn't think I trust him. He thinks I don't want to open up
to him, and he thinks I don't want him to open up to me.
TherapistWhy don't I believe you? For the past year, you've pushed him
exactly as far as you knew he would take it...how did you so accurately
test the limits?
FMJust lucky, I guess.
TherapistTry again.
FMDoc, I don't feel comfortable talking about him when he's not here.
This whole thing makes me uncomfortable.
TherapistDiversionary tactics only work on those who don't know how to
use them. But I'll give you points for trying.
Therapist smiles.
FMYou're a hardass. You know that?
TherapistMy ass thanks you for the compliment. How did you so accurately
test the limits?
FMBecause I knew how far I could push him. I can't explain it.
TherapistTry. Think back to when you made your first assessment...
FMI can read his signals. I know him. I know the way he thinks.
TherapistHow?
FMI don't know how. What do you want me to say? I love the guy. Why
shouldn't I be able to know how I make him feel?
TherapistOkay...being able to read his signals, you should be able to
create at least a working hypothesis about how it makes him feel about your
relationship to him when you constantly feel the need to work everything
you go through out alone. You just told me there is no reason why you
can't know how you make him feel.
FMAnd I told you that I know it bothers him when I don't open up to him.
TherapistBothers?
FMBothers...hurts...whatever.
TherapistSo you love him, and you know what it does to him when you
exhibit these behaviors...so now we need to figure out what's keeping you
from doing something about it.
FM Maybe I'm just a jerk.
TherapistMaybe—or maybe there is something else holding you back?
FMI don't want him to realize I'm some messed up freak that doesn't
deserve him. But what's your take on it? I'm sure the two of you had a
pleasant talk about me. What did he tell you?
TherapistOkay...we've gone from diversionary to defensive...
FMI'm not being defensive. Why do you say I'm being defensive?
TherapistKnock it off, Fox...I'm here to help you only if you actually
want to be helped. Does Alex love you?
FMYes, he loves me.
TherapistWould he harm you in any way?
FMNot if he could help it.
TherapistThen don't worry about what Alex and I discussed. Use this time
to focus that incredible perception of yours on your own feelings right now.
FMThat's the thing. I'd rather focus on him. My feelings aren't all
that important.
TherapistWhy not?
FM Because there's nothing to discuss. We're seeing you because we think
we don't trust each other. I trust him. He doesn't trust me. End of
story. Let's work on getting him to trust me.
TherapistCut the crap, Fox. It doesn't work that way and you know it!
I can't just give you a cure-all pill and make everything rosy. And if you
think that he's the only one here with trust issues, you're not as bright
as you look.
TherapistNow can we stop this denial two-step and get down to work?
FMOkay, fine. Just don't bring out the whip. Jesus!
Therapist Push me just a little farther.
FMYou'd like that, wouldn't you?
TherapistThat's a conversation for another time...I believe you owe me an
explanation.
FMI do? For what?
TherapistYou said you didn't want him to find out you were messed
up...why not?
FMHe'll leave me. He doesn't like weak people.
TherapistYou assume he'd think you were weak?
FMYes. He's managed to use his past to make something of himself. I've
let mine hold me back.
TherapistHold you back from what?
FMFrom being a normal, non-obsessed member of society.
TherapistBeing obsessed makes you weak?
FMI think so, to a certain extent. I also don't want him to think of me
the way I think of him. You know—what I told you before?
TherapistYou mean being unable to take care of yourself because of your
vulnerability?
FMYes.
TherapistCan you take care of yourself, Fox?
FMYeah
TherapistThere's not really a whole lot of conviction in your voice
FMI don't want to sound like some kind of helpless moron. Of course I
can take care of myself. I always have.
TherapistSo maybe we should start with a few definitions. How do you
define "weak"?
FMNot being able to stand up for yourself. Relying too much on others.
TherapistBut you just told me that you've always been able to take care
of yourself
FMI have. That's why I don't want Alex to know too much about me.
TherapistYou're contradicting yourself, Fox. Help me understand what
you're trying to say.
FMLook, if I open up to someone, it changes things. It makes me care
about them more or something. I need them more. I'm not saying this very
well...
TherapistKeep talking, Fox. It'll clear itself up eventually
FMWhen I've told people everything about me, instead of understanding,
they've used it against me. So, I'm basically left with someone who I feel
should be there more for me, and the opposite happens.
TherapistWhat about you do you think Alex hasn't seen yet?
FMYou'd have to ask him that. He seems to accuse me of not wanting to
ever talk to him.
TherapistI asked what do you think he hasn't seen. Maybe I should ask
what you think you've hidden from him?
FMSometimes I get the impression he thinks I'm stronger than I am. I
never tell him how much some of the things I've been through have affected
me. I don't want to burst his bubble.
TherapistWhat's the worst thing that could happen if you did destroy the
illusion that you are more than human?
FMHe'd leave me.
TherapistDo you really believe that he would leave you if he sees some of
your flaws? When you discovered his mortality, did it even cross your mind
to bail?
FMOf course not, but I'm not him. He gets antsy. He doesn't have time
to waste on some wuss.
TherapistSo what you're telling me is that you're not sure he would stay
with you if you let him inside?
FMYeah. Sorry for taking the long way to get to that.
TherapistBefore you asked me to work on getting him to trust you. Are you
starting to see the areas where you don't trust him?
FMBut I do trust him.
TherapistLet's define trust. What is trust to you?
FMPutting your life in someone else's hands...knowing they won't hurt
you...oh... Okay. I guess I don't trust him...
TherapistAdmission is the first step. See how much less painful it is
when you don't fight me?
FMYeah, you're right I guess, but you're so easy to fight.
TherapistAnd you've only been given a taste.
FMYou mean there's more? Yikes.
Therapist looks up from under her lashes coyly.
FMUh oh...I don't trust that look. Alex looks like that right before he...
Therapist He?
FMHey, there are some things a gentleman doesn't share.
TherapistGentleman, huh? You didn't seem to mind sharing the other night
when you invited me to watch the festivities.
FMThat was different. Alex was there. I'm much less, um, modest when
I'm with him.
TherapistAhhhh...I was wondering when the "sly" fox would emerge
FMAnd has he?
TherapistSeems so. Now you're trying to profile me.
FMWhat makes you say that?
TherapistYou're flirting.
FMIs that a bad thing?
TherapistNo...just telling.
FMAnd what is it telling you? I'm curious.
TherapistYou're flirting, but you're devoted to Alex. Seems like a good
way to "get to know" someone.
FMI see...but I suppose I shouldn't try it with you, hmm?
TherapistI didn't say that
FMSo, doc, you wanna get to know me?
Therapist stays quiet and smiles sweetly.
FMIs that a yes?
TherapistI think you're walking a very dangerous line here, Fox
FMAnd what would that be?
TherapistI'm your therapist. It's generally not a recommended form of
therapy to fuck your patients.
FMHave you ever tried it? You may be surprised.
TherapistIs that an offer?
FMDepends. Do you think Alex would kick my ass if I went through with it?
TherapistProbably...but it kind of depends on whether or not he was
invited.
FMOh, so neither of you would have a problem with a threesome, huh?
TherapistAgain...is that an offer?
FMSure. You know where I live.
TherapistI'll remember that. You wanna tell Alex with or without me
present?
FMEither way...he wouldn't mind. We talk about you all the
TherapistReally? And what is it you discuss?
FMMostly that leather outfit of yours, but other times we talk about your
methods.
TherapistWhy is getting details from you about anything like pulling
teeth without novocaine?
FMMaybe because I work for the government. What do you think?
Therapist I think it's because you trust no one...but we'll get you there
eventually
FMThat's pretty much my trademark, doc.
TherapistI'm sorry, Fox, but I have to be going.
FMOkay, good.
TherapistWe're scheduled to meet—the three of us—tomorrow night
FMRight. Okay. We'll be there with bells on.
TherapistFox, I need to ask you not to talk to Alex about the things we
discussed here today
FMDon't worry. I'm not eager to share with him.
TherapistWe'll discuss everything together tomorrow night
FMFine.
FMBye, doc. Try not to dream about me, tonight. Alex'll get jealous.
Therapist Hello, Alex...can I buy you a cup of coffee?
Therapist So tell me how's it going at home?
AK Okay.
AK How? I mean, what do you want to know?
Therapist Well...let's start with this...in the last few days have you
learned anything new about Fox. Not so much about experiences, but about
have they made him feel.
AK I'm guessing that they made him feel pretty awful, because he gets
really ratty when I try to discuss them. He's had a shitty life.
AK He was okay 'til he was about 9, I guess.
Therapist Then what?
AK Then his sister was abducted and he was there. He feels that it was
his fault...like a 9-year-old could do anything.
Therapist Does that event give you any ideas as to why he reacts to you
the way he does?
AK Seems like his parents blamed him for it too, but he won't talk about
that. I think they hit him. No. Why would it have anything to do with me.
I wasn't there.
Therapist Do you think that the danger your work puts you in gives him
any cause to associate the events relating to his sister with his fear of
losing you?
AK No. Not unless you think he might imagine I took her. That would be
nuts though. I was only 2
Therapist That's not what I mean. He lost someone very important to him,
and he feels like he should have prevented it. Do you think that maybe he
might feel the same kind of responsibility toward you?
AK That implies someone is going to abduct me, and that I can't look
after myself. Doesn't seem sensible to me.
Therapist Perhaps...or maybe it implies that he is afraid of losing you,
too. You've said that you've protected him in the past, right?
AK Yeah. He throws himself into situations without thinking. The first
time I ever killed anyone, it was to save his life.
Therapist That protective instinct you feel for him...isn't it possible
he feels the same about you?
AK It's possible I suppose, but he doesn't do it for a reason. He seems
to be spying on me, not trusting me.
Therapist Are you sure? He couldn't just be trying to make sure that the
people you work for aren't going to hurt you? They don't seem like
particularly trustworthy types.
AK The man I work for is trustworthy. Sure he has enemies, but he's been
trustworthy from the very beginning.
Therapist Do you think that Fox can be sure of that? Put yourself in his
shoes for a moment...would you feel secure in that now that you understand
a little better how his past has affected him?
AK He makes bad decisions. He knows I love him. Why would he snoop on me
all the time? He didn't do it with Phoebe. He did whatever she told him
to do, however brutal. He trusted her. Seems like I've got to hurt him to
get his attention.
Therapist Your avoiding the question, Alex
AK I don't know if I would feel secure or not. How can I know that. I've
had to look after myself all of my life. I've never been in a situation
like that. It's completely alien to me.
Therapist But try and place yourself behind his eyes...see what he sees.
If you lost someone that you loved, and thought your whole life that you
could have prevented it, doesn't it seem logical that maybe you would do
everything you possibly could not to let it happen again to someone else
you loved?
AK He couldn't possibly have prevented it. He was 9 years old. Why does
he even feel that?
Therapist For right now, let's not deal with the 'whys' of how he feels,
and instead focus on the reality of those feelings...and you're avoiding
the question again.
AK Look, for the sake of argument, say that I would... I do want to keep
him safe, but that isn't what he does.
Therapist Really?
AK Really.
Therapist You've had to look after yourself alone for most of your life,
correct?
AK Yep. My dad died when I was 10 and my Mom...well, let's just say she
drank a bit after that.
Therapist Could it, for the sake of argument, be that you simply are
unaccustomed to someone trying to do it for you? Could it be that it's
difficult for you to believe that someone wants to keep you safe?
AK I guess. God, I don't even know why I love him.
Therapist These aren't judgments, Alex...I just want you to think about
some... extreme possibilities?
AKThat's funny.
Therapist I may be wrong, but maybe it's because he does the things that
drive you nuts. Why is that funny?
AK I could consider the possibility.
Therapist That's good.
AK He makes his living chasing extreme
possibilities.
AK That's what he calls them.
AK He bends over backwards to hunt out weirdness.
Therapist Which may explain why he loves you, too.
AK Are you telling me I'm weird? Why would you think that?
Therapist In a cute, neurotic sort of way.
AK Hey... He's neurotic. I'm just pragmatic. I do what it takes to fit in.
Therapist Fit in with whom?
AK With whatever I have to...whoever I have to. If the big guns are
pointing at me, I say what it takes. It's survival.
Therapist You've stated your attitude on life very concisely...how do you
think that effects the way you look at Fox?
AK When I'm with him, I don't want to have to dissemble. I don't want to
have to think about surviving, just about being with him. He won't share
himself though. Sometimes I feel so ... hungry.
Therapist Hungry for what?
AK Him. I want him... I want to know him properly, and get inside all the
prickles. Do you know what I mean?
Therapist Tell me
AK He's so edgy and untrusting, but inside he's so sweet. I want to be
there...inside of that,
Therapist And you don't think you are?
AK I know I'm not. He pushes me away when I try.
Therapist Pushes you away how?
AK He gets mad at me. Accuses me of really stupid things to change the
subject, or he freezes me out.
Therapist Care to give me an example?
AK Oh, I dunno. I was trying to do like you said and ask him about his
past, and he was kissing me and stuff. I said it was for you, and it would
help us, and he just said "Fine, whatever" and walked away. He went out.
Therapist You mean he walked away from you rather than stay and talk?
AK Yeah.. He does it a lot. I feel like he meters the sex I get.
Therapist Meters?
AK Lets me have just enough, and then plays games like that.
Therapist Why let him?
AK Don't want him to... to leave me.
Therapist So you'd rather allow him the power to control the rules of
your relationship rather than lose him?
AK I couldn't go on if I lost him. He's everything.
Therapist Alex, I think that one of the things we need to address here is
the way you value yourself... or, should I say, don't value yourself
AK I don't understand.
Therapist Loving someone enough to place their needs ahead of your own
can be a noble and reasonable healthy thing. But making the object of your
affection the center of your world can be very dangerous. It's not a
healthy thing at all to lose your own identity only to have it replaced by
your lovers
AK I don't think that's what's happened. I know who I am.
Therapist Who are you, Alex? When you look at yourself in the mirror,
who do you see?
AK Me. I see me.
Therapist Describe yourself for me.
AK I'm 6'" tall, and slim with dark brown hair, a dumb nose, and big
eyes... Girls like the eyes. I wear a lot of casual stuff. I've got an
arm missing and I wear an earring.
Therapist You know what I mean, Alex
AK Well is that what you wanted to know.
Therapist Describe for me who you are.
AK I'm Alex. I don't know what you want.
Therapist Yes you do...stop playing with me, Alex
AK I'm not. I'm a lone person. I'm.. I'm someone who fights for
everything, someone who has managed to stay alive despite the odds. I'm a
survivor, but I'm not happy... at least I never was before. Now I've got
Fox in my life.
Therapist Having Fox in your life is all it takes to make you happy?
It's a yes or no question, Alex
AK No. I need more than that. I need Fox to love me.
Therapist But you let him play his power games...isn't that enough to
make him love you?
AK I don't know. It doesn't seem to work somehow.
Therapist Alex? Remember grade school? Remember that one little kid
who always followed along and did what the other kids told him to?
AK Yeah?
Therapist Did following along work for him?
AK Don't see what you're saying, Doc. I'm not following him. He's
following me.
Therapist I'm not speaking literally here, Alex. Follow me carefully.
AK Go on.
Therapist By letting him play these power games with you...and you not
challenging him on it...
AK What else can I do? Fight, that's what. You said we should stop
fighting.
Therapist NO...I said you should stop fucking long enough to bring the
fight to a real resolution! The problem with the two of you fighting is
that it leads to sex a lot faster than when you talk.
AK When I talk he goes away.
Therapist Have you ever tried challenging him on that?
AK You mean run after him like that kid? Nope. Seems undignified
somehow. You think I should?
Therapist No, I'm not saying run after him. But later, rather than just
letting it go, confront him with the fact that it hurts you when he behaves
like that. It's difficult to build a healthy relationship when the
foundation isn't mutual respect. And you can't respect someone who kisses
your ass.
AK I like to kiss his ass. I know. That was a cheap shot! Sorry. You
think I should tie him up and make him listen to me?
Therapist It was honest though.
AK Have you seen his ass? Oh, God hot! Check it out next time he's in
here.
Therapist No bondage, Alex. But you have to learn how to tell him when
he hurts you so he can learn to alter his behavior. I'll check it out, but
only with your permission.
AK You can look... It's worth it. So I say "Fox, that hurts me, and he
says "Sure, fine, whatever." What then?
Therapist I don't expect that to be his response...but if it is, you tell
him that it's a problem you want to discuss.
AK That's how he deals with it. That's his response to it all.
Therapist If he still says, "Sure, fine, whatever." Then you point out
that that is exactly the behavior in question.
AK I can try it and see.
TherapistGood. In the mean time, shifting gears, tell me more about his
ass.
AK It's lean, and tight, and the muscles come from running... Nice and
supple and curved, and he goes totally batshit when you rim him.
Therapist Sex therapy, you don't need. And what about you, Alex...what
drives you completely batshit?
AK I never saw anyone go crazy the way he does when you stick it to him.
He never went with a man until me. That makes me feel weak, right there.
Therapist What?
AK That I can make him feel like that when nobody else has.
Therapist But aside from what doing things to him makes you feel, what is
it you like him to do to you?
AK Me, I love his mouth...just anywhere on me, but especially... oh,
shit, I shouldn't be talking like this to you.
Therapist Why?
AK You're a woman, and it's harassment. Besides, you know...
AK It's not straight. It's...we're... Oh, shit.
Therapist Alex...believe me when I tell you that I'm the last person you
need to be embarrassed with.
AK Well, I don't want to upset you. I'm better at doing it than talking
about it.
Therapist I think the two of you are beautiful together...fun to watch, too.
AK LOL... You wanna watch? Fox might get a little perturbed.
Therapist Ya think?
AK I live for his mouth on mine though. You just look at that mouth of
his and know it's special.
Therapist I think it would be best not to discuss our session with him
until he's had his own, and we can meet together again.
AK You mean don't tell him what we talked about? Or keep the meeting a
secret?
Therapist Don't tell him what we talked about...yet. It might do you
some good to think about it yourself before you share it with him.
AK I'm thinking. You want me to write down a list?
Therapist If you think it will help you organize your thoughts.
Therapist Hello, Walter
Therapist No one you need to be concerned with...is there something I can
help you with?
AK Uh... Doc?
Therapist Yes?
AK Doc? You want me to leave? ::To Walter:: Quite possibly I do mind.
Therapist No, that's all right. Walter is just passing through. Walter,
I told you I didn't want to see you and I meant it.
Therapist Alex...I can take care of this.
AK Okay, Doc.
Therapist Baby? Walter, I've tried to be polite...I've tried to be
gentle...now I'm just going to be clear—get lost.
Therapist I owe you nothing, not even the air in my personal space that
you're breathing. Now walk away from here now, Walter, or I promise you
that walking may become difficult when I'm through with you.
Therapist Don't test me...
Therapist I'm sorry about that, Alex...it was very inappropriate
AK Who was the jerk, Doc? You need me to walk you to your car?
Therapist Someone I no longer choose to be associated with. I would
enjoy your company, but it's not necessary...have you forgotten what I did
to Fox when he tried to grab me? And he's been trained.
AK Okay, Doc...You can call me an MCP but I'd feel better...
Therapist Well, come in...We'll leave the door open for him.
AK Where'd you go, babe?
Therapist Sit down, gentlemen.
FM I forgot something in the car. Hey, doc.
Therapist Hello, Fox
AK How's it hanging?
Therapist I'm sure you'll show me later...shall we begin
FM Hey, Alex, she's feeling feisty.
Therapist I'd like to start this evening by addressing a slightly
personal issue...
AK You know, it doesn't really HANG as much as jut. Like that?
FM I think she's going to tell us if she got lucky or not.
AK I've got my notebook. Lie back here on this couch, doc.
Therapist Alex, I want to thank you for your concern the other
night...but I'm forced to take issue with your chosen method of conflict
resolution.
FM Excuse me? Alex, what is she talking about?
AK Doc? I'm a little confused myself.
Therapist Alex? Care to explain to Fox?
AK Care to explain it to me first?
Therapist I received a phone call a few days ago that informed me that my
friend Walter was in the hospital
FM Alex? Do you know anything about this?
Therapist It seems that an unidentified assailant attacked him in his
apartment.
AK Why the hell would you even think I'd be involved?
Therapist Each of the digits on his hands and feet were repeatedly broken.
FM Babe? What did you do?
Therapist And it seems that one of his testicles was removed from its
natural environment and he was forced to swallow it.
AK Oh yeah... There's violence involved, so you instantly think of me.
Thank you very much.
AK That sounds like the fucking Mafia, not me.
FM Okay. I'm sorry. If you say you didn't have anything to do with it,
I believe you.
Therapist Creative violence, Alex...I believe that is your forte?
FM Doc, he said he didn't do anything. Can you lay off?
Therapist You may believe him...I'm not entirely sure I do.
AK What's creative about finger breaking?
Therapist Listen, Alex...I'm not saying the jerk didn't deserve it.
AK Look, Doc, just because you know I'm an enforcer, you're picking on me.
Therapist Not picking, Alex...thanking.
FM But he didn't do it, doc.
AK You think that's clever? You think violence solves anything?
Therapist But I'm curious why you felt the need to shave his head, too?
Therapist Has he said that, Fox?
FM Yes, he has. He doesn't understand why you're interrogating him and,
frankly, neither do I.
AK For fuck's sake. What do I have to do? If I say I did it, or I
didn't do it, you'll still think I did. What's the point of even telling
you anything.
Therapist Alex...have you said that you didn't do it?
AK You heard me.
FM Doc, I don't think you're being fair to him.
Therapist Fox, I have to give Alex credit...he's better at the avoidance
tactic than you are.
FM What is that supposed to mean?
Therapist Yes or no, Alex...did you do it?
AK Well, fuck you. Why don't you leave me alone?
FM God, Doc, what is wrong with you?
Therapist Alex, there is no judgment here...I just want the chance to
explore your motivations.
AK What the hell is that supposed to mean? Fox, what is she talking
about.
FM I don't know, babe, but she's starting to piss me off.
Therapist That means that I'm not here to pass judgment on your actions.
I'm just here to help figure out why you did them.
AK Why do you think I would do them?
FM Are you deaf? He said he didn't do anything!
Therapist Take lessons, Fox...he's better at this than you are. NO,
FOX...HE DIDN'T! Listen carefully to what he's been saying
FM Stands up That's it. We're out of here.
AK Baby?
FM What?
Therapist He has never answered the question directly.
FM Well, it's a ridiculous question.
Therapist Has he, Fox? Think carefully.
Therapist You're making an assumption again...remember we talked about this.
FM He wouldn't lie to me. I asked him what he knew about it and he said...
Therapist Your selective hearing needs to be addressed further, but right
now we need to finish dealing with this. He said what?
FM He didn't say anything either way.
Therapist What did he say, Fox? Exactly.
Therapist Like I said, he's better at this than you are.
AK She's so full of shit, Fox.
FM Babe, did you do it? Tell me one way or the other.
AK Oh, baby. Why are you listening to her?
Therapist Alex, I'm not angry or upset. 'm not even horrified. But I
want to know why you felt you needed to do this?
FM I'm not listening to her. I know you didn't do it, but she seems to
think otherwise.
I'm asking you just to shut her up.
AK The fucking bastard was pushing women around. I followed him, and he
went and slapped a few more about after he left you. He took one poor
little bitch's purse, and knocked her teeth out. Would you just leave that
and walk away?
FM Dammit, Alex.
Therapist So you wanted to protect these women?
AK Baby, it was nothing. I just wanted him to know what goes around
comes around. Karma, you know? Baby?
FM I don't give a shit why you did it. Why the fuck did you let me make
a fool of myself defending you?
Therapist Fox, we talked about understanding motivations, didn't we?
FM yeah, but I'm more concerned with why he looked me in the eye and lied
to me.
AK Baby, I love you. I love you to defend me. You've never done it
before. I didn't lie to you. I wouldn't.
FM You lied by omission. Just tell the doc your fucking motivation, okay?
AK Huh?
FM You led me to believe you were innocent by not telling me the truth.
I can make it simpler if that's too hard for you to understand.
AK I didn't tell you anything. I just wanted you to help me get away
from her.
FM That's what I just said. God, Alex... you're so good at playing dumb.
AK Baby? Don't, please...
FM Just tell her what she wants to know, okay? She obviously knows you
better than I do.
Therapist Enough of this.
AK I told you. I told her... There's nothing else.
Therapist Alex, did you pursue this man because you thought he was going
to hurt me?
AK Yeah. I pursued him because I know his type. He's a jerk and a bully.
Therapist That's not what I asked.
AK Why couldn't you just have let it alone?
Therapist ANSWER ME, ALEX...DID YOU THINK HE WOULD HURT ME?
AK Next time I'll let him come back for you. Yeah. I told you. He had
a knife. He was heading for your place. Satisfied. I broke a couple of
his fingers and turned him loose and he went right back to work. He
wouldn't listen. That kind have a one track mind.
FM You should know.
Therapist Alex, you never mentioned that he was coming for me with a knife.
AK Well, it isn't really important.
Therapist Isn't it? Fox?
FM What? You're doing fine without my input.
Therapist Would you have tried to protect me if you knew I was in danger?
AKI can't do this.
Therapist Alex, wait...please.
AK You shut up! Now he hates me again and you just had to push it didn't
you?
Therapist Doesn't it kind of change the way you see this in light of why
he did it?
Therapist Fox?
FM He was playing at being chivalrous. Hurray. That's not what concerns
me.
Therapist Then what is your concern, Fox...specifically. Alex, please
sit...you might want to hear this.
AK Think so? Can't think why.
FM I asked him, more than once, if he knew anything about what had
happened. He avoided the question each time instead of leveling with me.
I thought I'd be the one person he would tell the truth.
Therapist Because I have a feeling this is going to be a very big piece
of the puzzle of understanding the man you love.
Therapist But, Fox...isn't also part of the reason you're angry because
you made an assumption that turned out to be inaccurate. You were wrong,
and that sucks. You didn't really stop to listen to what you were being told.
FM I don't care if I was wrong. I thought that if he didn't say he had
done it, then he must not have. I was stupid enough to believe he'd be
completely honest with me.
Therapist Listen to what you just said..."I thought that if he didn't say
he had done it, then he must not have." That's a rather HUGE assumption,
isn't it?
FM Only if you're in love with the person answering the question and
expect them to tell you the truth.
Therapist Instead of listening, you just thought your answer was the
correct one, rather than waiting for his answer. You fill in the blanks
yourself and when they aren't right, then you get mad.
FM No, he had the chance to answer me. He chose not to.
FM sighs.
FM I don't know why I'm bothering...you have your mind made up that he's
right and I'm wrong. Figures.
Therapist Not at all, Fox...Alex was absolutely wrong here. His actions
were deceptive.
FM Fine. Yet you keep assigning me motivation for my actions when you
have no idea what I was thinking or feeling.
Therapist But I want you to see your complicity in the current conflict.
Fights aren't a one-directional avenue. Then tell me.
FM I know that! I resent you labeling my anger as nothing more than my
ego being bruised because I was wrong.
Therapist Better yet...tell him pointing at Alex
FM Alex, do you understand what I'm trying to say?
AK No, I don't. You wanted me to confess to a crime in front of a
witness, just to make you feel better? What's wrong with you? You pushed
and pushed and wouldn't let it go.
FM I didn't push. I gave up and defended you after I asked you the first
time. She pushed you.
AK I don't see why. You trying to get me locked up? You wanted to prove
something. I told YOU, because you asked me point blank and I can't lie to
you. Then you got huffy because you said I lied to you. I don't understand.
FM Oh god, babe, are you going to be a drama queen now? She said that
she didn't care that you'd done it. That hardly sounds like someone who's
going to turn you in.
AK Not the point. You believe her implicitly in everything, and not me.
Okay. I admit it. I beat the bastard up. I did it. He deserved it.
Come on, come and take me away. Make the streets safe for man and beast.
FM What the hell are you talking about? Did you even hear me tell her to
drop the whole thing? How the hell is that me believing her over you? I
don't care what you did, Alex. I believe you when you say the guy deserved
it. I don't doubt your judgment at all, but how could you do something so
risky?
AK It wasn't risky until you both got on my case. If you'd just stuck it
out it woulda been fine, but you had to ask me.
FM Alex, I didn't ask you the original question, okay? I didn't bring it
up. And it was risky because someone could have seen you. Whatever
happens in this office doesn't scare me. The fact that you could have been
caught at the scene scares the hell out of me.
Therapist Why does it scare you Fox?
FM Do you think I want him caught?
Therapist Tell him...not me
FM Baby, if they'd caught you, I might not have been able to help you. I
can't lose you because you do things like this.
AK Fox, there's no way in a million years that I could be caught.
Therapist Why is that, Alex?
FM You say that, but you can't know that. I don't want you taking
unnecessary risks.
AK How could I be caught? He's a piece of shit. Nobody wanted to be
near him, nobody misses him. Nobody would even be interested.
FM Jesus, Alex.
AK Fox, it wasn't unnecessary. That fucker was hurting people just
because he could.
Therapist I think it's time we brought up some of the things we discussed
in our individual sessions. Fox, do you want to tell Alex what you told me
the other night?
FM I told you a lot of things.
Therapist Well...let's start with how you see him now.
FM This very second? I'd rather not.
Therapist Why? What makes this second different from any other?
FM I'm still pissed off at him.
AK That's okay. I'll go now, shall I?
Therapist No, Alex. You shan't.
Therapist Fox, do you assume any responsibility for your anger right now?
FM of course.
Therapist On what level?
FM I should know better than to let the little fuck get to me.
Therapist Now try telling me the truth.
FM Why do you never believe anything I say? Harass him for a while.
Therapist STOP IT! Stop trying to hide. The more you hide from
him...and more importantly yourself...the more impossible it becomes for
the two of you to start really hearing each other.
FM Fine. What was the question?
Therapist You're not angry because the "little fuck" got to you.
FM No.
Therapist On what level are you responsible for the current conflict?
Therapist What was that?
FM I should have listened to what he was actually saying instead of
making assumptions.
Therapist sigh of relief. Alex?
AK What?
Therapist Please come back and sit down
Therapist Alex?
AK What?
Therapist Please sit down
AK Why? What's the point?
Therapist The point is I want your undivided attention
AK Oh, okay, go for it.
AK I'm sitting.
Therapist Alex, what's your responsibility in this?
AK In what?
Therapist In this fight.
AK Hey, it isn't my fight.
AK I wasn't fighting. I was just trying to stay low.
Therapist You don't think that your behavior contributed to this?
AK Look, I came in here and you started on at me, roped Fox into it, and
then backed off to make sure he would do what you wanted. If you want my
opinion, you're mainly responsible. You want me to say that I'm to blame?
Okay. I'm to blame. Now, what?
Therapist Fair enough...but now that I've accepted my part in this, how
about you?
AK I'm responsible for being here. I'm responsible for myself. I don't
take responsibility for anything else.
Therapist Stop being petulant!
AK That's not petulant, that's the truth. How can I assume
responsibility for anything that 's out of my control?
Therapist Alex, all three of us played a part in this mess. The
communication between you and Fox will only improve if you learn how to
communicate period.
AK Go on then... Tell me what I'm doing wrong.
Therapist But it was in your control to be honest with Fox, wasn't it?
AK I was honest with him.
Therapist Were there other alternatives to being deliberately deceptive?
AK Yeah,. I could've left.
Therapist Or?
AK I could've gone off to the cop shop and asked them to cuff me.
Therapist Or?
AK I could've said no, I didn't do it, and have done.
Therapist So far the only solutions you've presented involve you running
away in one way or another
AK I don't agree.
Therapist What would have happened if you said that you needed to talk to
Fox privately, or asked him to wait for an answer till you got home?
AK That would've been tantamount to admitting it, wouldn't it?
Therapist Now I don't agree.
AK You say..."Ask him if he did it". I say "Fox, can I see you privately
for a minute?" You think that isn't saying "Hell yeah?" Fox?
FM I think you're right.
Therapist And what would have been so wrong with answering the question
directly?
AK Well, to answer plainly, Doc, I really don't see giving everyone the
information that I committed a crime. I don't know you. Why should I
trust you?
Therapist Why would you protect me?
AK I'll tell Fox anything he wants to know, but you're not Fox. Why not
if you need it? Wouldn't you protect someone that needed it?
Therapist Alex, you've been hurt by a lot of things and a lot of people.
And I know you love Fox...you've been very clear about that. But is it
possible that you were trying to protect me, not just because I needed it
but because you care for me, too. Not the same way, I realize, but
nevertheless...
AK You know, Doc, I did it primarily because I have a down on arrogant
assholes who get off on pushing people around. Sorry if that offends, but
you could have been anybody. Think of it as pest control.
Therapist Kinda like you did to him?
AK Yeah, except that I did it to teach him how it felt.
Therapist Okay...I'll accept that.
AK Fox?
Therapist Hey, guys...how does it feel to actually resolve a conflict?
FM yeah, babe? We did?
AK You know what I mean, don't you?
FM of course, I do. I love you for it.
FMBaby... um, what are you doing?
Therapist We did, Fox...we took an argument, broke it down, and learned
from it. Even though there was no winner, the conflict itself is resolved.
AK Resolving a conflict, lover.
Therapist Alex? What are you doing?
FM Oh... that's...that's a nice way to do it.
AK I'm conflicted, doc.
Therapist Alex? ALEX??
Therapist WHOOOOOAAAAA!!!
AK There needs to be a winner...mmmmm
FM oh shit!
Therapist Hey, hey, hey...I promise there will be time for that in a
little while...we still have work to do!
AK Fox? Want me?
FM god, Alex... I love you... I want you so much
Therapist Ehhhheemmmmm
FM oh god...Alex...so good...
AK MMmmmmm?
AK She said that was it...You coming, babe?
FM What the hell?
Therapist If I can please have your attention back for just a few minutes...
FM please... doc...
FM Fuck!!
Therapist Please what, Fox?
FM what is your problem?
Therapist By the way...would you mind tucking that back inside your
pants? It's a little distracting.
FM Can't we finish this?
AK you should watch it pick up buns and stuff them up his ass.
Therapist Save it till just a little later...it'll be worth it.
FM Fine.
FM Mmmmm!
Therapist Alex, don't make me crack this thing again...it may get a
little closer to that sweet little ass then you'd like. Same goes for you,
Fox.
FM glaring. You are a real pisser you know that?
Therapist Oh?
AK So now what. I thought we'd resolved our conflicts. I got it. You
want us to start work on our next conflict. Right?
FM stroking Alex's hair. We've got our own conflicts to resolve here,
doc. Cut us some slack.
Therapist You resolved a single disagreement...there are still deeper
issues you have yet to tell each other about.
FM Like?
Therapist Okay...I see we're not going to get anywhere while the two of
you are so...preoccupied...shall I give you some privacy?
FM What do you think, babe? Should we hear her out?
AK Oh, okay. Go on then. I can wait.
Therapist Wow...I'm impressed. We need to discuss the issues that each
of you raised during our private sessions. Anyone want to volunteer to begin?
FM Why don't you start, Alex?
AK Jeez, doc, I don't know
Therapist Share only what you feel you can for now...we'll get to the
rest later.
FM It's okay... go ahead.
AK I don't know, I tell you. I can't remember.
FMDo you want me to go first then?
Therapist Try a little harder and I'm sure it will come to you. The
first thing we discussed was how you felt about the things Fox had shared
with you from his past.
AK He doesn't share things from his past. You mean that I think he feels
guilty? He told me he felt guilty for his sister being abducted. I think
he takes too much on himself. He's trying to assume responsibility for
stuff he couldn't possibly avert or salvage. He doesn't trust anyone. He
won't trust me. He's afraid to.
Therapist But what does this knowledge do to how you see him?
AK I don't know. I see him as someone I want to be close to. It hurts
me that he won't let me be close.
Therapist Fox, do you have a response to this?
FM I... Do I have to tell him what I told you?
Therapist You don't want to?
FM Yeah, I do, but...
Therapist waiting
FM I want to be close to him...I want him to know everything about me,
but I might lose him if he does.
FM What, doc? What do you want me to say?
Therapist Whatever your heart tells you that you should.
FM I love him and I can't imagine a life without him. If I let him in,
he'll see that I'm not worth it...he'll leave me for someone stronger or
not as needy.
Therapist Here we go again!
AK Jesus, you asshole. you think I'm ever gonna let you go?
FM Baby, I just don't want you to be disappointed when you find out who I
really am...
AK Like I don't know... I just want you to let me in.
FM But you don't know me... Not really. Not yet.
AK Baby, I know more of you than you want to think. I adore you, you
jerk. All I want is a chance to share things with you instead of standing
outside and watching.
FM I love you so much
FMYeah, doc?
Therapist I was just feeling a little left out
FM Gee, sorry. Aren't we allowed to have a moment? I thought you'd be
happy about our breakthrough.
Therapist I am...
FM But...
AK Baby?
Therapist But I think the two of you need some time right now
Therapist Just don't stain the couch.
AK Ummm... Baby?
FM Yeah?
AK I love you. I really love you.
FM I know...I love you, too. I'm sorry.
AK Sorry? Why, babe. I don't need you to be sorry. I need you to let
me finish what I started a minute ago.
FM Oh...please, don't let me stop you.
FM whoa...don't...don't hold back, baby...
AK Come on, Fox...do it to me...give me all you've got.
FM Alex...
AK Bottom again?
AK Rats!
AK Hmmm?
Therapist Do you two have any brainpower left to talk a bit? Holding a
video tape in her hand
FM Hey, doc.
AK Hmmm?
FM Uh...sure...
AK Anything... I promise.
FM Anything?
AK Oh, God, yeah.
Therapist I'd like to present your case to a panel discussion I've been
invited to lecture at. What do you think? Hmmm?
FM That's not going to be part of it, is it?
AK Umm. Are you gonna tell them that I beat that guy up? Fox is in the
FBI, for heaven's sakes.
Therapist This?
Therapist Nooo, this is for my own personal enjoyment.
AK Jeez, Doc, that was only a quickie. We can do better than that.
Therapist It'll be a blind review...no names, no faces.
FM Much better. Well...I guess if it's anonymous
AK What do you think, baby?
FM I'm okay with it if you're okay with it.
Therapist I'll look forward to it.
AK Doesn't worry me for me... Just for you.
FM I'll be okay as long as no one knows it's me.
AK Well, okay then, sure.
Therapist I'll even let you pick your own substitute names.
AK Oh, I think I'll be Gervaise... That's a cool name.
AK Or maybe Alvin.
FM That is cool. I was going to say she could call me Dick, but now I'm
not so sure.
Therapist shaking head and smiling
FM Hey, I can be Theodore.
AK Oh, baby, you're all dick.
AK You betcha, and no Simon in sight!
FM As it should be.
AK God, I love you, Fox.
Therapist The two of you want to get dressed now, or are you planning on
staying to scare the poor cleaning lady.
FM I love you, babe.
FM Um, getting dressed would be good, I guess.
AK Well, It's been a pleasure.
FM It certainly has. You okay, doc?
Therapist Just thinking about the invitation you extended to me, Fox.
AK Fox? You invited the doc?
FM quietly yeah
AK Oh?
AK Hey, my turn.
FM Jesus, babe... you look really hot doing that? Go figure.
AK Alex does his lady killing act.
AK Well, a guy has to get practice somehow.
Therapist Now about that invitation...?
AK You're pretty fucking hot yourself.
FM You're not doing anything after our session, are you?
Therapist That depends...
FM On?
Therapist How much stamina you boys have...
AKYou up for it?
AK Hey... You gonna tell me about this invitation?
Therapist I can wait till you're better rested, if you like
FM Oh, well, I um, sort of broached the subject of a threesome during my
session with her
AK Oh, cool. When? Tonight?
FM I'm feeling rested already. You?
AK Heh... I guess I can start slow. Three times in half an hour might
be pushing it.
