"Hmm."
"I mean really, this is so boring. And it won't lead to anything. We both know
that it won't."
"Hm-m. What?" The other man turned his head and looked over at Mulder, sitting
beside him in the car.
Mulder sighed. Deeply and soulfully. He shook his head and stared back out
through the wind screen. His partner looked at him a little longer, then turned
to do the same. They both watched the house on the other side of the road in
silence.
Mulder was beginning to hate this. He had thought it wouldn't take very long for
him to find out what he had promised himself he would, but right now, three
weeks after the blackout incident, he had to admit that he had gotten nowhere.
His young partner kept eluding him. Kept him from finding out the truth.
Mulder hated being kept in the dark. He hated not knowing.
He had tried. The morning after the blackout he had walked straight up to
Krycek, sitting as usual by his desk, and motioned for him to go with him. Once
out in the hall, he had stopped and turned to his new partner.
"So, Alex," he had said. "Yesterday. What the hell was that all about?"
Krycek had lowered his eyes, blushed, yes, blushed, and said with trembling
lips, "Oh God, I'm so...I can't believe I did that...I just thought you...Sorry,
it won't happen again. I swear!"
The man had actually stuttered as he spoke. Mulder stared hard into the young
face, searching for something that would hint at the man he had seen the night
before. The confident, smirking, somehow dangerous-looking man that had jerked
him off and then left him high and dry in an office full of people. But all he
saw this morning was that green, wide-eyed, rookie partner of his, biting his
lip and looking for the world as if he might start crying.
Mulder had shook his head and tried to get a grip on the situation. "That's
okay, Alex, I didn't mean to..."
"No!" The other man's voice took on a high-pitch sound, like a lady in distress.
"No, it's not okay. God, I shouldn't have done that, I...if you want a new
partner I totally understand."
Huge, green puppy-eyes was turned upwards, looking into his. Mulder sighed and
surrendered.
"No," he said. "I don't want a new partner. I just wanted to know what happened
and why..."
"It won't happen again, Mulder. I promise." There was such a relief in that
voice. Such gratefulness. "Please don't tell Skinner."
The last part was nothing but a whisper. Mulder tried to give a reassuring
smile. "I won't tell anyone."
"Thank you."
And then Krycek had side-stepped him and was gone, disappeared down the hall.
Mulder frowned, watched him go, and tried to decide if he had been fooled or
not.
He couldn't decide.
The next couple of weeks followed the same pattern. Mulder tried to talk to
Krycek, tried to get him to talk about the blackout, wanting to get to him, to
see that other agent once again. That man in the dark. The man he knew was in
there somewhere.
Krycek kept avoiding him, kept blushing and apologizing whenever he brought up
the incident, kept using his puppy-dog eyes on him and tremble with his lower
lip.
It began to drive Mulder nuts.
He had to find out the truth. He had to.
At one point he even grabbed Krycek and dragged him into the men's room, pushed
him up against the wall and began kissing him roughly. He wanted to get the man
to react, to do what he had done during the blackout, to see if that would
trigger the other side of his partner. But Krycek just stiffened against him,
pushed him away and said, "No, Mulder, please, we can't..." and that was that.
They both exited the men's room and didn't speak about it again.
Mulder began to hate his partner.
He hated the way Krycek looked at him, shyly and admiringly. He hated the way he
talked, saying things like "I want to believe" in that determined voice. He
hated how Krycek was always enthusiastic about his work, how he stayed late to
write reports, how he always turned down invites from the other agents to go
have beer or watch a game. Nobody invited Mulder, and he had a feeling Krycek
didn't go because he didn't.
He absolutely, positively loathed the way Krycek never, ever, in any kind of
way, reminded him of the man he had seen that time. That face. That sarcastic
smirk. That look.
He also began to get paranoid. Well, more so than usual. Hadn't it seemed very
coincidental how Krycek almost had known when the lights were going to go back
on? What if there wasn't any coincidence? What if Krycek had really directed the
whole blackout from start to beginning?
Mulder didn't know what to think, or what to do.
So he went to see Skinner.
After having told the story from beginning to end, his AD looked at him,
crossing his arms over his chest where he stood leaning against his own desk.
Hard, penetrating eyes met Mulder's.
"You had sex with your partner?"
Mulder began to protest. "No! I mean, yeah, I guess, but that's not the thing.
You see I think he is directly responsible for the blackout and that he really
isn't the innocent young man he is preten..."
"You had sex with your partner in a room full of people?" His AD sounded almost
more stunned then angry. This state, however, didn't last very long.
"You're missing the point here, I..."
"YOU'RE missing the point, Agent!" Skinner's voice was like steel.
Mulder blinked.
Skinner sighed. "The blackout," he said, sounding calmer then just a second ago.
"Took out most of the light in the city. That's a lot of lights, Agent Mulder.
You think Agent Krycek is responsible for blacking out most of Washington DC
just so that he could...grope you?" He looked disgusted at the last words. "You
don't think he would have found an easier way to do that, if he wanted it so
badly? I mean, you're not exactly...hmm..."
Mulder couldn't help but blush a little. It did seem kind of stupid now.
He never should have gone to Skinner. Fuck!
Leaving his boss's office, he decided he would drop the whole thing. Krycek, the
blackout, the groping, the look, everything. It was obviously driving him crazy,
and he had to stop thinking about it. He had to move on. Forget about the whole
deal.
It lasted twelve hours.
The next day he began to make a plan for getting Krycek to finally drop his
guard.
They were in the car. It was a stupid assignment, but Mulder had agreed to it
just to be able to get alone with his partner. Alone in a parked car.
Mulder had planned his move for a week.
Outside it was dark and pouring down. It looked like a hell of a rainstorm was
going on out there, and occasionally the street would lit up with a flash of
lightening, then go dark again.
Krycek was sitting in the driver's seat beside him, one hand on the steering
wheel and the other clutching a plastic cup filled with something brown and
horrible which the man in the gas station had assured Mulder was coffee. The
younger agent was staring out the front window, at the door of the building they
were suppose to be watching. He had been staring at it for two hours now,
unyieldingly, as if he thought he might miss their prime suspect coming out if
he did something else. Like blink.
Mulder sighed. This hadn't been a good idea. He began to remember why he had
avoided being in these sort of situations with Krycek before the whole blackout
deal. Krycek was not exactly a fun guy. In the past two hours he had said a
total of four words. "Thanks," when Mulder brought him the coffee from the gas
station, "No," when Mulder asked if something had happened while he had been
gone, "Okay," when Mulder suggested they'd put the radio on, and "What," when he
told him how boring and futile the assignment was.
Mulder sighed again, and decided it was time to put the plan to work. He
stretched a little, threw a casual glance over at Krycek's tensed face and said,
as if he was just asking for the time; "So, how did you do it?"
For a heart-beat, Krycek did not react. Then he turned and looked at Mulder. "Do
what?"
Mulder shrugged. "The blackout, you know. It was pretty impressive, I have to
tell you."
Only confusion in the face next to him now. "The blackout? What are you talking
about?"
"Oh come on, Krycek. Like I don't know you set the whole thing up just so that
you could do that...what you did to me."
Krycek was silent, but from the look he was giving Mulder he obviously figured
that his partner had gone completely insane.
"What...what do you mean?" he finally managed to ask.
Mulder chuckled. "You really do that whole hey-I'm-so-young-and-green thing like
a pro. But you are not fooling me anymore, Alex, so why don't you just tell me
who the hell you are and why you did what you did that night."
For a moment, just a moment, Mulder thought he saw something that looked like
guilt in Krycek's eyes, but then it was gone and instead replaced with a
different emotion. Anger. Krycek was beginning to get well and truly pissed off.
"You...you...you think I planned the blackout? Just so I could...Who the hell do
you think I am, Mulder?"
"A man with good connections. But maybe you should tell me who you are instead.
Who the hell are you, Agent Krycek, and why are you here?"
"Mulder...what...why...?"
"Is it a crush, Alex? You want me so bad that you couldn't help yourself? Or was
it some cover-up for something else? I hate being kept in the dark, Krycek, and
I think you are doing just that to me. Are you?"
Krycek was staring at him, face pale and lips pressed together in a tight, thin
line. Mulder continued. He sure wasn't stopping now.
"Were you suppose to distract me? What are you, some kind of rentboy with a
degree from the academy? Or did you want to? Had you been waiting to do that
ever since you assigned yourself to be my partner?"
"You...You're paranoid, Mulder."
"Did you like it, Krycek? Did it make you hot, to get me off, or was it just a
job?"
"Stop it, Mulder! I mean it!"
"Would you suck me too, if you had to? Do you want to? Who are you, Agent
Krycek? Tell me and maybe I'll let you..."
"Mulder!"
Mulder didn't stop. His plan was beginning to work and no way was he dropping
this now. His plan was to get Krycek to react, and now he was...reacting. His
eyes turned dark, his hands clutched into fists and he was leaning forward,
leaning forward...
"You fucker! You want me to do it again?" Krycek's voice was low and sounded as
if he was choking. Without warning his arm came up and pushed against Mulder's
chest, slamming him into the side of the car, holding him there.
Mulder gasped in pain and stopped talking. Finally.
Green, green eyes were staring straight into his and Mulder searched them,
wanting to see, wanting to find, waiting for that look again, that sudden dark,
dangerous...
A hand was on his fly, unzipping and sliding inside. Mulder gasped, closed his
eyes and began to struggle. It was no use. Krycek's arm on his chest was like a
rock.
If it moved an inch higher he would no longer be able to breath.
Krycek's hand was once again inside his pants, on his hard on, palming it,
closing around it. The compartment of the car was dark and felt too warm.
Outside, the thunderstorm was raging but the fogged up mirrors made it difficult
to see out except whenever a flash of lightning would suddenly lit up the sky.
He couldn't see Krycek's face with his eyes closed but he was sure that it had
that look again, and he was sure that those eyes were on him. Again.
Oh God. That look. What had he done here? What would Krycek do next?
Krycek's voice was husky and breathy in his ear, whispering words that were
absolutely pornographic while the hand was slowly jerking him off. Mulder
writhed and whimpered with every movement of that hand, begging him to stop but
wanting it to speed up, willing to do anything, anything, just to make Krycek
finish and finish it right NOW.
It was happening too fast, he couldn't believe how quickly everything had
changed, and at the same time it all happened in fucking slow motion and
Krycek's hand was moving so goddamn slow and Mulder stopped begging him to stop
and instead pleading to him to...
"Please, god, oh god, please, please, please..."
...anything.
Krycek's hand was not going faster no matter what he did, and the arm was still
pinning him to the passenger door and he couldn't move except the involuntary
jerks in time with the fist pumping him mercilessly towards the edge.
His plan had worked, oh god had it ever! Here it was, the truth about Alex
Krycek, here it was, right in front of him and. Here. It. Was.
He felt it hit him like a tidal wave, the climax finally, finally reaching him,
blissfully making him throw his head back and accept what that the hand was
giving him. Krycek slowed down the rhythm even more, and Mulder cursed loudly,
but nothing could stop him from tumbling over the edge now so that's what he
did. Crying out.
Coming. Hard.
As the waves of pleasure left him, pulsing out of him just as slow and lazily as
it had hit him, he felt himself slump boneless against the seat, eyes still
closed, hips still jerking irregularly.
The hand left him. He felt cold air against his sensitive skin. Krycek wasn't
planning to tuck him back in this time?
When Mulder came to enough to open his eyes, Krycek was sitting straight up in
his own seat, hands on the wheel and staring out the front shield window. There
was another flash of lightning outside. Mulder blinked a couple of times.
Swallowed. Cleared his throat.
"Alex..."
Krycek's head snapped as he turned towards Mulder at the same second he had
uttered the name. The young agent's eyes were no longer narrow and dark. They
were now wide and tearful.
"Alex..."
"Mulder, I'm so sorry! I don't know...you just...I promised it wouldn't happen
again and it did and I'm...God..." he wiped at his eyes with his sleeve. "You
just...do things to me and when you...you said you wouldn't mention...that time
again...and when you did I just couldn't stop myself. I got...so mad, I guess.
Please, forgive me! Please, Mulder! I'm sorry!"
Mulder carefully straightened his clothes while eyeing the miserable man beside
him. He finished zipping up and turned to Krycek, just to once again look into
huge regretful eyes.
He studied them. Sighed. Ducked his head and looked away.
Defeated.
"It's okay, Alex, I...I'm sorry too. I pushed you. I did say I wouldn't bring it
up again and I did it anyway. Let's...let's just get back and forget this ever
happened. What do you say?"
Long eyelashes were fluttering against wet cheeks, blinking away the tears. Then
Krycek nodded and said in a small, small voice. "Thank you, Mulder."
"Just drive, Alex. Just drive."
And while he was being driven back by his still sniffling partner, he felt the
image of that dark, dangerous face start to fade out and being once again
replaced by the face of a young, inexperienced, eager, self-conscious, bright
new agent who had a small crush on his FBI partner and who had once acted out on
those feelings in a weak moment and then later been pushed too far, being forced
into acting them out again, and were now regretting it all immensely.
That image was so clear in comparison with the other image, the one Mulder had
been holding on to and searching for despite what people around him said, that
as he sat in the car he was beginning to feel like he should be apologizing. He
had done something he shouldn't have. He had been wrong. And maybe, maybe those
people, Krycek and Skinner and everybody else, had been right.
Maybe he was just being paranoid.
Maybe he should just stop accusing and instead try to trust someone for a
change. Just once.
Just trust somebody.
He could do that. Right?
The Plan
by Black Coffee
"This sucks."
