RATales Archive

Krycek's Favorite Color

by Malefescent


The following is an unofficial repost of a most Delightful "Musing" by own Beloved Rummy.

I talked this bebeh up too much in chat to hold back on my compadres. Please to forgive, my dread lord rum!

Without further ado, proof that Rummy is a genius:

my sick and twisted mind came up with the following:


As soon as he saw it, he just knew that he *had* to have it. It was the *perfect* color. His *favorite* color. As he walked out of the store, Alex hugged the parcel under his arm and gave a smile filled with childlike glee. He felt just like a kid with a new bike at Christmas. As he walked, he thought about where he would display his latest acquisition.

It wasn't a long walk back to his apartment, so he soon found himself unlocking the door to his apartment and stepping inside. He set his keys on the table next to the door, took off his shoes and lined them up neatly on the mat, then hurriedly unwrapped his purchase. He had figured out the perfect place for it.

As he opened the curio cabinet, he studied the porcelain figure closely. Of course the trunk was raised into the air. He didn't have a single "bad luck" elephant in his entire collection--he'd thrown all of the lowered trunk ones away after he'd gotten back from that incident near Tunguska.

The little elephant appeared to be smiling. And why shouldn't it be? It was the most beautiful color in the world, Alex's favorite color.

Pink.

And not just pink, but a retina burning shade of pink that matched everything in his apartment. The walls were pink, the carpets were pink, even the stove and refrigerator were pink. The very same shade as the pepto-bismol his mommy had given him when his tummy was upset, which was often, as Alex had had chronic intestinal problems as a young boy.

Alex frowned and his eyes began to tear up as he thought of his mommy. But then he smiled. How could he not when he looked around his apartment, all done up so prettily?

He walked into his bedroom and pulled out his fluffy pink robe, taking off the plain black clothing he was forced to wear when he was "outside". If he wasn't afraid that the other assassins would make fun of him, he would wear all pink clothes, too.

Alex sat on his pink sofa and grabbed a bag of M&M's out of his pocket.

<It's too bad that the pink ones are only around at Easter time,> he thought to himself. <But they're the wrong kind of pink anyway, so who cares?>

He contemplated the M&M's in his hand. If he were forced to choose one of these colors, maybe as the color he would be for the rest of his life, he'd choose the light brown one. It just looked like it was chock full of milk chocolatey goodness.

But as he sat there watching the sun set through his eye-numbing curtains, he realized that he'd much rather be pink.

End

Yes, I know they stopped making the light brown M&M's, but since I'm taking such creative license with everything else, I figured you could let that one slide too. <g>