RATales Archive

Fairy Tale

by Marijke Post


Title: Fairy Tale
Author: Marijke
Feedback: marijke.post@xs4all.nl
Category: Humor
Rating: all ages
Summary: what is the most crazy thing you can dream about?
Disclaimer: none of the characters you recognize are mine. I just make them do crazy things to amuse myself. And others of course.
Date: 1 + 2 August, 2002
Notes: I made this up in a moment of temporarily insanity. It was a million degrees in my bedroom and I couldn't get to sleep. So I lay there, looking at my Nick Lea picture on the wall opposite my bed. And I thought to myself: what is the most idiotic thing I could do to Alex? This is the result.
Thanks: to Bart, my wonderful beta. And thanks to Nick Lea, for looking so lovely on the picture on my wall <g>


Mary walked into her bedroom and stopped in front of her wall with pictures. She kissed one of the pictures. "Goodnight Alex," she said to her Nicholas Lea picture, which she had just kissed. Then she said "Goodnight Spike" to her James Marsters picture, "Goodnight Angel" to her David Boreanaz picture, "Goodnight Nottingham" to her Eric Etebari picture and "Goodnight Lindsay" to her Christian Kane picture. She took of her clothes and picked up her pyjama. Man, it way too warm for a pyjama. She was about to drop it on the floor, when she stopped. Well, maybe just the shorts. Then Mary pulled her sheets all the way back and lay down on the cool bed. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, nice and cool. But a minute later, the bed was as warm as she was. Luckily, she almost immediately fell asleep. Halfway through the night Mary woke up. She saw a big shadow in her room. She thought it were the curtains, making shadows on the wall. That is, until the shadow moved. Then she thought it was a burglar. She wanted to scream, but somehow she couldn't.

"Ah, finally awake," the shadow said and stepped into the bit of moonlight that fell into her room.

"Oh dear, I must be dreaming," Mary whispered to her self. It was Nicholas Lea who was standing in her bedroom.

"I've been waiting for you to wake up," he told her.

"You have?" Mary asked. "Why?"

"Well, I was flying over this little town you live in and I had just enough dust left, to bring one person back with me."

"Nick, what the hell are you talking about?" Mary asked him, much to her own surprise, since she already knew she was dreaming. All she had to do was wake up.

"Nick? Who's Nick? My name is Alex. I thought you knew," Alex said.

"Alex. Yeah, sure, okay," Mary muttered. "So, Alex. You said you flew over our town. How?"

"Well, flapping my wings, of course. DUH!" Alex said.

"Flapping your wings," Mary repeated. "You can't just, you know, fly?"

"Just fly? Who do you think I am, Thermoman?" Alex said, a bit disappointed. "Jeez, you don't know much about pixies, do you?"

"Pixies? You're a pixie?" Mary asked, with disbelief. "So, where are your wings, then?"

"Under my leather jacket, of course," Alex answered. "But we can talk more, later. It's time to go." He pulled a small pouch out of his jacket.

"Go? Go where?"

"To pixie land," Alex said. "I told you, I have just enough dust for the both of us, to bring one person back with me. Now, get out of bed."

Mary thought this was too bizarre for words, so she closed her eyes and tried to wake up. But somehow she couldn't. Okay, maybe if she went with him to pixie land, or whatever. Maybe then she could wake up. She got out of bed and stood besides Alex. "Oh, wait," she said. "I can't go with you looking like this!" She quickly took of the shorts, pulled on her jeans and a shirt and also her shoes. She also grabbed a vest out of her closet. Alex looked at it. "Just in case," she answered.

"Alright, let's go." Alex got a handful of dust out of the pouch and sprinkled it over the both of them. Before Mary knew what was going on, she found herself lying on the grass, staring at blue daisies. Wait a minute, blue daisies?

"Welcome to pixie land," Alex said, as he helped her up.

Mary looked around her. "All I see is trees, And blue daisies" she said.

"Yeah... well... you see," Alex started. He was staring at the ground and looked a bit shy.

"What is it, Alex?" Mary asked him.

He looked at her. "I think I didn't calculate it right."

"Calculate what?" Mary didn't understand what Alex was talking about.

"I thought I had enough dust to get us back to the castle," Alex explained. "We ended up on the other side of the forest. This is the pixie land border."

"So, what went wrong?" she asked.

Alex held the pouch up side down. "All out of pixie dust. But don't worry, the castle of the king is on the other side of the forest. We just have to cross it. Stay behind me and do exactly as I do."

Alex started walking to the forest and Mary followed him. After a few minutes, Mary got the idea that Alex was turning right and left in no particular order. She was just about to ask Alex about this, when Alex suddenly stopped. Mary bumped into him and she would have fallen if Alex hadn't grabbed her arm.

"What is it?" she asked.

Alex pointed to some point in the forest in front of them. "I thought I saw something. There, in front of us."

Mary stared at the trees Alex had pointed out. "I don't see anything," she said. "And what's this about me having to walk behind you? Is that some kind of stupid pixie rule."

"No, no, it's just... this forest is the border of our land. There are all kind of booby traps set up here. If someone would just wonder of into the forest, he might get himself killed," Alex said to her. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Okay, well... that's nice of you," Mary softly said. She was looking down at the ground, drawing pictures in the dirt with her shoe.

"Let's go," Alex said and took Mary by the hand. "It isn't far now."

While walking through the forest, Mary saw all kinds of things you wouldn't normally see in a forest. She saw birds with the most beautiful colors. Animals looking not quite like chipmunks and squirrels, and at one point she thought she saw a unicorn. But that could be because she had watched "Voyage of the Unicorn" last night. Finally they reached the edge of the forest. And what Mary saw there just had her stunned. There, only a few feet away from her, was the most beautiful castle she had ever seen.

"Oh my god," she whispered. "It looks just like the castle of the goblin king."

"It does?" Alex asked. He looked at the castle again. "Well, I guess you could be right. You know, the goblins have tried many times to conquer our land. But they never succeeded. Maybe one of them had a good memory and remembered what our castle looked like and they build theirs the same way. And how come you know what the goblin king's castle looks like?"

"I saw it in a movie once," Mary answered. "Can I meet the king?"

"Of course you can meet him. He'd be delighted," Alex said. "You saw a movie about the goblin king?"

Mary was still staring at the castle. "Yeah. Labyrinth. Don't you know that movie? I've seen it at least a dozen times. I thought Jareth was really cool. But then, I always like the bad guys more," she looked at Alex, "don't you know."

Alex started walking again, towards the castle and Mary followed him. She seemed to have totally forgotten she was dreaming. She followed Alex into the castle, which was even more beautiful on the inside. But she didn't get the time to take a closer look, because Alex kept on walking. They stopped in front of a large door and Alex knocked three times. The door opened and Mary was looking at an enormous throne, standing in the middle of a gigantic room. And for the second time, Mary was stunned. There, next to the throne, stood Mulder. And Scully was sitting on the ground, in front of the throne. And both had a pair of wings on their backs.

"Alex, glad you're back," Scully said and she stood up. "You have got to help us put the king's throne back against the wall. Those darn dwarves have been clowning around in here again."

So both Mulder and Alex started moving the thrown back, leaving Mary where she was standing. Then suddenly some dwarves came rushing in the great hall. "The king is coming! The king is coming!" they shouted. Suddenly everybody was in panic, running through the room. Mulder and Alex had finished putting the throne back.

Scully rushed over to Alex. "Alex, take of your jacket. You know the king doesn't like it when you hide your wings."

"But I hate my wings," Alex pouted.

Mary looked at Alex to see what his wings looked like. But before she could, the doors flew open and the king entered. "All hail the king!" everybody shouted. "All hail the king!"

"Now I'm sure I'm dreaming," Mary muttered. For the third time she was stunned. "If he's the fairy king then I'm the queen of France." Mary was looking at Cancer Man. With purple wings on his back. And a crown on his head. Everyone present in the room was bowing for him. And all Mary could do was just stare. When he finally sat down on his throne, Mary saw Alex walking to her. He had taken of his jacket and Mary saw his wings were more beautiful than everyone else's.

"Are you ready to meet the king?" Alex asked.

"Alex, I want to go home," Mary said to him. "Take me back, now. I want to wake up."

"But... but why?"

"Just take me home, Alex."

"But I haven't got any fairy dust left. I'll first have to ask the king for more, but I already know he won't give me any."

"Why won't he give you any?" Mary asked.

"Because I've already used up a week's worth of fairy dust in just three days," Alex answered.

"All right," Mary said. "Then I'll ask him." And she pushed Alex aside and walked over to the throne.

"Yo, king. Listen up," she said to him. "I... "

"And who are you?" the king asked her.

"My name is Mary," she answered. "Alex brought me here with his last bit of fairy dust. But now I want to go home. So, if you could just fix us up with some dust, I would be very happy."

"So Alex brought you here with his last bit of dust?" the king asked. "That was not so nice of him. He knows he should always keep enough dust to bring someone back to their own home."

"You mean, he brought me here, even though he knew he wouldn't be able to bring me back?" Mary asked. She turned around to look at Alex. He was looking back at her, with a look of guilt on his face.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"That's all you have to say?" Mary couldn't believe she was hearing this. "You knew you couldn't bring me back? But even though, you did sprinkle that stuff all over me!"

Alex was looking over her shoulder at the king, looking for help. He saw the king take a handful of dust out of his own pouch and throw it over Mary.

Mary carefully opened one eye. The sun shone right on her face. She grunted, closed her eye again and turned around. But she couldn't get to sleep again. A single sentence seemed to be lingering in her mind.

"I'll come back, when you have more time... "

The end