Deep In Thought

I stare at her sleeping figure. I can't bring myself to do it. I can't kill her. Damn it, since when did I grow a conscience? I'm supposed to be some hardened criminal. Not some wimp who can't kill someone who poses a threat. That might be the problem. She poses no threat except that she can identify me to a T and I can be arrested for attempted murder. And I know she has the capability of finding me again if I let her go. I don't know how, but I believe that she can. She's feisty. And of all the things that I've done, attempted murder is the stupidest thing for me to go in for.

Her eyes flutter and I continue to stare at her.

She looks up at me. "Alex what are you doing?"

I shake my head and shrug. What am I going to say? I was thinking about how I should just kill you since all you are to me is extra baggage and your family thinks that you're dead anyway. And suddenly I grew a heart or two and realized I can't bring myself to kill you. Yeah I'm sure she wants to know that. "Are you hungry?" Is what I do say.

She nods and I get up and go to the kitchen. I try and shake the feeling that's been growing for the last four years. I am not going to form any kind of feeling for this woman. She is nothing but a pawn I will use when I am ready. Only when I am in a tight bind, and desperately need a way out. I'm not one to use the easy way out of anything. If I was I might still have both my arms.

My mind drifts to when I came back from that incident. She was there to baby me. I didn't have to do anything for a month. If my buddies wouldn't have come over for that game of football, I'm sure I would have gotten an extra few weeks of pampering. But the look on her face when she came out back and I was doing a victory dance for the touchdown I had just made was priceless.

"Alexander Krycek, you conniving man."

I know she wanted to call me worse but was being nice. "Yes Melissa?"

Innocence is not a strong point of mine. She shakes her head at me and walks back into the house. The guys joke on how I wasn't going to get any that night. I hadn't been "getting any" in a long time. But I wasn't going to let them know that.

I bring a tray up the stairs to the now sick Melissa Scully. She caught a mean virus while I was away and tried to tell me that she would be fine if I went out for another month. Right. I was going to believe that one. I called the higher up and told them I was in no condition to go out for at least another month. They won't argue with me. They know I'm actually valuable. Who else would do their dirty work? And I know I abuse that knowledge. Oh well, sucks to be them.

I place a gentle kiss on her forehead before I realize what I've done. She looks up at me startled and all I can muster is a smile. How do you cover up that one? I know she can see right through me anyway. She timidly smiles back, and sits up. I spend the next thirty minutes feeding her. She is so not like her sister. I think I could fall in love with this woman.

Sometime after she'd returned to her sleep state, I wander down the stairs to my office. I need to think. I step into the room, change my mind and sit on the back porch. I stare up at the sky and remember something Missy told me about the sky being as endless as the possibilities that we have. And no matter how far you reach, you never quite reach the end. She's right. She usually is. I don't know why, but I can't really imagine my life without her. The thought scares me.

"It scares me too, Alex."

I turn around to see her standing in the doorway. I know what's she's talking about. Somehow we were thinking the same thing. It's not the first time this has happened. She pads out onto the porch and sits next to me.

"Thank you for not going on that assignment."

I nod. "There was no way you were going to be able to take care of yourself." I swallow hard and make a split decision to take a flying leap into oblivion. My arm slides around her waist and pulls her closer to me. "Are you serious that you're as scared as I am?" I ask her in hopes that one of us has some courage.

She nods. "Somehow I feel that this is so right, but I'm scared that I'm right again, and I hate being right."

I laugh, "Could've fooled me."

She swipes at me playfully and we remain silent for a bit. "Can this really work Alex?" She sounds doubtful.

"I think it can, Melissa." And for once I feel like the psychic one.

I open the front door and hope that I haven't woken her. I feel guilty when I wake her at the odd hours of the night. If I had normal work hours then I wouldn't have to worry as much, but to ask a conspiracy to happen on a schedule, that would be like asking an earthquake to only happen while I was out of the country. And I don't see that happening anytime soon. I walk lightly past her door and notice a light is on. I edge the door open and stick my head in.

She looks over the edge of the book she seems to be reading and smiles. "I knew you were coming home today."

I smile in return. I used to hate when she did that. But I guess I've grown used to it, and in fact kind of like the fact that she takes the time to focus on me. She puts her book down as a silent invitation to go in. I drop my bag in the doorway and enter the room, taking a seat on the edge of her bed.

"So how's my sister?" she asks.

She knows I was in the area and I know she took the time to block out anything that I might have been doing while I was there. She doesn't want to know the gory details of my work, and I don't want to relive them so it all works out. "She's doing well. As is your mother."

I owe it to her to look in on them from time to time. She has a right to know how they are. When the time is right, which I hope will be one day, I will take her back to her family. If I were to try now, Scully would only think that I was trying to get out of a jam. And as much as I hate to admit it, Melissa is no longer my pawn.

She scoots forward and wraps her arms around me. "I've missed you."

My arm goes up and around her waist. I pull her closer to me and kiss her gently on the neck. "I returned as soon as I could."

I've grown to not like leaving her alone in this house. And especially with the nosy neighbors. That's what I get for living in small-town, USA. But I guess it's a small price to pay for seclusion.

"Alex, this house is so far from civilization." I remember the whining in her voice only a couple years ago. Moving was something I did often, but with her with me I couldn't move as often as I used to or into the small rat holes that I was so accustomed to. She didn't deserve that. So I broke down and bought a house in the smallest most unheard of town that I could find. And finding it was no easy task. "That's the point, Mel." She glanced at me and rolled her eyes. Here we are two years later, enjoying the little town and hoping not to leave our little home soon.

"So when's your next assignment?" Her voice breaks me from my reverie. I shrug and lean back to look into her eyes. "You leave tomorrow don't you?"

It was more of a statement than a question. I hate it when she's right. I nod, unable to answer her question. She purses her lips and I hear her take in a breath. "Alex, I have something to tell you."

I look at her curiously. I know she can't tell me she's moving out. She's about as stuck here as I am. If not more so. I hope she isn't sick again. She finally recovered from that last ailment 3 months ago. Although she does seem to be gaining a few pounds back which is a good thing. "What is it, Mel?" I can't hide the worry and she'd know if I did anyway.

"I..." her voice falters, "I think I'm..."

"Melissa?"

She looks up and our eyes lock. "Alex, I'm pregnant."

Her eyes are hopeful and scared. I don't know how to react. My God, a baby. I mean what am I supposed to do? I would love to have a normal life and a kid of my own. But what if they found out? What would happen to the child if they ever knew? And what would happen to her.

I stand up and leave the room, I can't deal with this right now. I have to be up early in the morning to leave on yet another stupid assignment. I can hear her sobs through the wall. I still don't know why we sleep in different rooms any more. Most of the time she stays in here with me. And the nights I'm away she stays in her room. I'm such an ass. How can I make her cry like that? Like I don't care for her and like I don't want this child? Heaven knows that I do. One day I'll get used to this whole she loves you and cares for you thing. But until then I hope she can understand that I don't know how to deal with all this.

I roll over a good three hours later and find that I'm still awake. And I can still hear Melissa crying. Damn it all to hell. I get up and enter her room. She rolls over so her back is to me. I sit on the edge of the bed and place a hand on her back.

"Go away," she whispers. I can tell she really doesn't mean it but doesn't want to hear what I have to say.

"Lissa," where in the hell do I start? "I know you really aren't happy with me right now...." Genius points for the one armed man.

She rolls over at me and gives me an incredulous look. "Not happy? Alex, you left without saying a word with a look of disgust on your face. Not happy? What did you want from me? To throw a freaking party because you want nothing to do with me? Guess what pal, you're stuck with me. And that one isn't my fault either."

Her eyes are puffy from the hours of crying and the look on her face must be a family trademark. I've seen Scully give that look to Mulder a dozen times. And now I know why he shuts up each time he receives it. I also know that she's right.

"Liss, what did you want me to do?" Just getting smoother by the minute. Damn it's a surprise they never called me Don Juan. She rolls her eyes at me and attempts to roll back over. I stop her and pin her in place. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how to react." She stares blankly at me so I continue. "Melissa, this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. But you have to understand where I'm coming from. I have men after me that would love to kill me if they ever got the chance. I already fear that they'll find you and kill you just to get to me. And a child, Jesus Liss, a child..." My voice trails off. I have no way to complete the jumbled thoughts that are forming in my head.

She pulls her gaze from the middle of my chest and looks me in the eye. "I know," she whispers, "I know."

I kiss her on the forehead and nudge her over. She scoots and I join her in her bed. My arm falls around her and just as my head hits the pillow I fall asleep.

I stagger around the den and try to find any traces of Melissa. The couch is upturned and the coffee table is thrown across the room. I knew that I should have installed that alarm system. At least then I know she would have been able to get out. Those bastards took her, I know they did. In the distance can hear a baby crying. Destiny. How did they get Melissa and miss Destiny? I run towards the stairs and the crying grows louder. As I ascend the stairs a gun cracks and the sound ceases. I try to yell but my voice is caught in my throat. I reach the nursery and find blood. So much blood. I try to search for a body and as I reach the crib a hand is placed on my shoulder.

"Alex," I hear her voice in the distance. "Alex wake up." My eyes shoot open to meet with a pair of concerned blue ones. "Are you okay?"

I nod slowly and then reach for her face. What a nightmare. Man am I going to have one hell of an assignment in the morning. Maybe I should call in sick. Yeah like that would go over well. She pats my chest and lays back down. I hear her breathing fall to a slow pace and I know she's back asleep. I quickly follow.

I sit on the bed of the rat hole that I have been forced to stay in. I've been gone for a good six weeks which means that she should be about four months now. I would give anything to see her again. I can't believe I let them talk me into this assignment. If only I could call her or something. But I can't risk that. I know they have my calls traced to make sure that I'm not leaking any information. Why I would be so stupid as to leak information I have no idea, but if that's what they want to think, whatever.

I lay back and I can see her clear in my mind. I can see her laying awake staring at the ceiling hoping that I haven't forgotten her and our child. My God. Our child. Ours. I still have a hard time thinking that this can be real. I wait to wake up and for me to be alone as I always have been. But I bet that she waits for the moment when she'll wake up and be at home, or with her family. A pang of guilt runs through my gut and I can't believe that I've kept her from the ones that she loves. "But I love you, Alex" her voice echoes in my head. We've had the conversation before.

"Alex, they already think I'm long gone." Her voice is steady, but I can tell that there is emotion hidden in that statement.

"That isn't the point."

She lets out on exasperated sigh. "Then what is the point?" She drops her body next to mine on the couch.

"The point is that if it weren't for me then they wouldn't think that and you would have a perfectly normal life."

"Alex," I can hear a hint of a smile in her voice, "you sound like Fox." I look at her. Now I'm completely confused. "When Dana was dying, the first time, I had to convince Fox to go and be with her. He was so bent on it was all his fault and that he was the last person to be with her and that he needed to avenge her death before she was even gone. Don't wallow in self-pity. It all happens for a reason and don't even try to tell me that that was your fault too, because it wasn't."

Well, damn girl, just take the words right out of my mouth. So much for that one. I hadn't even told her about my involvement in that incident, but then again her sister might have. She smiles and punches me in the shoulder. "Now get over yourself and get me a glass of water, will you?" I can never say no to that smile.

The phone rings and jerks me out of a sound sleep. I roll over and grumble into the vicinity of the receiver. I'm given my orders for the day and told that if I do it right then I'm free to go until next time. I won't even grace that with a second thought. I roll out of bed and stagger toward the shower. I'll be able to see her again in a little more than twenty-four hours.

I smile as the water runs down my face and chest. It's about time. I was about to start a riot. Okay maybe not, but I was thinking about it. After getting dressed, I head out to the city and follow my charges. I feel more like a baby-sitter than an Under Cover Elite. Yeah, that's what I can classify myself as. Under Cover Elite. I mean what else can I call it? I work for the government, but not really. I feel like Will Smith. Except I have an identity and a life that I myself am trying to keep out of existence and there's no team helping me do so. Actually I wasn't the one to come up with the title. Melissa was. She spends way too much time in those books. She even said she was thinking of writing a story to occupy some time. Women.

Night has fallen and I make my way back to my rat hole for the last night. In the morning I'll be able to board a plane and be back home. Home. The word echoes in my mind like a kid yelling in an empty hall. I have a home. And a woman who cares for me, who is going to bear my child. Wow. When did this all happen? I really should lay off the liquor. Russian decent or not, hell if I'm a good drinker. I can barely see my nose after three beers. Doesn't matter anymore though. I'm going home in the morning.

I pull up to the house to find Melissa sitting on the porch reading as usual. She looks and attempts to stand. I try not to laugh but it's hard because she looks so damned comical. It's like one of those kids toys that have a round bottom that's filled with sand or something like a weight and all it really does is roll back and forth. She's trying to stand and has to roll back and forth to gain momentum to stand. I reach her and hold out my hand. My prosthetic hand.

She looks up at me and sticks out her tongue. She knows I'm only kidding with her. "Alex if I pull on that I'm going to wind up back where I started. On my butt."

It's then that I do laugh and sit next to her so she doesn't have to fight to stand for a bit longer. "You know the trick is to not sit so low to the ground." She shoots me a side glance and tries to hide a smile. Man did I miss her.

We lay in bed later that night and just stare at the ceiling. I never thought I would find such comfort in just lying next to a woman. But then again I've been doing a lot of things that I never thought I would be doing.

"Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you thought about names?"

"Who's names? The new neighbor?"

She smacks my arm and then continues. "What are we going to name the baby? I mean we can't call it, hey you all the time."

I stifle a laugh and contemplate this. I guess she's right, although it might be kind of fun. Not like I'm gonna tell her, man does she have a right hook. And there is no way I'm saying how I found that one out. "How about Christian?" I don't know why but I've always liked that name. "Or Steven?"

She rolls over and rests her head on my chest. "And what is it's a girl?"

I shrug. I've never really thought of many girl's names. Call me cliché, but I've always seen me having a little version of me running around. I guess every guy does.

"I know," I hear her mumble, "how about Destiny?"

I swallow hard and hope she doesn't notice. All I can see is my dream and me searching for the small child I called Destiny. And in my dream I knew she was my daughter. "Destiny?" I ask hoping I heard her right.

"Yeah, Destiny Michelle. It's a name I've loved since I was somewhere around eighteen."

"Why is that?" I can feel her smile.

"I had a dream and in the dream I was carrying a baby and for some odd reason I knew she was mine and her name was Destiny Michelle. When I woke up I was in love with the name."

I nod in understanding. I knew what I had dreamt had been thing but paranoia, but Melissa, Melissa has an uncanny sense for things like this. When she dreams something so realistic, then you can guarantee that it will most likely happen. "Destiny Michelle it is then."

A soft crying comes from the cradle on the other side of the room. If I lay here long enough and not move then she'll get the baby, right? A couple minutes go by and I realize that I get to do duties for the night. Ugh. Diapers. I really don't like diapers, especially dirty ones. And for some odd reason, when I get to the munchkin, the diaper always seems to be dirty. Lucky me.

I fall out of bed, literally, and am surprised that the thud didn't wake her. Woman sleeps like a freakin rock. Once again, lucky me. I pick my munchkin out of the cradle and walk down the hall to the nursery. I have the diaper changed within seconds, hey I could win a contest if there ever was one. Oh yeah, Alex Krycek, fastest diaper changer in No-Mans-Land, USA. Go me. Now task two. Getting the baby back to sleep. Stubborn just like her parents, never wants to do what she should be doing.

I walk around the room humming softly to her. I can't sing to save my life, but I can hum a lullaby I remember my mother singing to me so long ago. One minor detail is that it was in Russian, but I can still hear the tune in my head, so that's just as good. I look down at my daughter. Wow, my daughter. I swear one day I'm going to wake up and find this all gone. But until then I'm going to enjoy the memories that I have so far and the days that I'm living in this alternate universe. She's so tiny. I can remember just a couple days ago when we brought her home.

"Liss, shouldn't we have lined the house in bubble wrap or something that will pad all the walls and everything." I'm paranoid as hell. I have no idea how I'm supposed to make sure this tiny little frail creature doesn't fall apart or break. These things don't come with instruction booklets, and for once I wish I had one.

"Alex," she lets out a sigh, "babies don't fall apart. They don't break either, so you can breathe and stop worrying." She pats my arm, "and besides, you aren't going to like the sound of lots of little bubbles popping at two a.m. so you really don't want to line the house in bubble wrap."

I know I'm overreacting, but I can't help it. I quickly get over myself and help Mel bring in her stuff from the car and lay the baby down for a nap.

Bright and early the next morning my phone rings. Stupid piece of technology. Electronic leash that I can't seem to get rid of. I sure would like to throw it out the window or into traffic. But I really don't want to get shot for not answering a call from the group. I attempt to open my eyes so I can find the stupid thing, but I really don't want to.

I feel Melissa poke me in the side to try and wake me. "Alex, it'll wake Destiny." I grumble something that's supposed to be "Well she woke me first." But sounds like gibberish. "If you don't get it I will."

She knows every single button I own. Okay, okay she wins. I open one eye and locate my phone. I answer it on what I think is the seventh ring, and am greeted to a slew of instructions. I don't want to leave in a week to that country. I really don't want to go with that person. Aww damn, I hate these types of assignments. I now have a mean case of the I don't want to's. Note to self: find new job. Ha, like that's as easy as it sounds. This is kinda like scouting, once you start, you're in for life.

After I have a refreshing shower, and a couple cups of coffee, I sit at my desk and attempt to get some work done. I actually get involved in a report, fully intent on finishing it, when in comes Melissa carrying Destiny. No good can come of this.

"Alex, I have to go to the store and I really don't want to take Desi with me. You don't know how hard shopping is with a small child that has started grabbing."

I stifle a laugh and nod. I guess I can watch her if all she does is sit there. "Where's her seat thingy?"

She hands Des to me and walks out of the room. She returns briefly with one of those seats that sit on the floor and bounce. I still don't understand how it entertains a child for hours, but then who am I to argue with something that works?

"Thank you sweets." She kisses my forehead and leaves. I glance at Destiny sitting in her bouncy chair and smile.

"Well munchkin, just you and me. You scared?" She gurgles and waves her little stuffed mouse at me. It's something Mel got for her as a gag, and ironically enough it's been Des's favorite toy since. Only my daughter would like a toy that was originally to pick on her father.

I turn my attention back to my report and within seconds hear a protest from Des. I glance at Des and she smiles at me. I raise an eyebrow and turn back to what I was doing only to hear another protest. Sneaky little kid. So that's how they get attention. Play on the emotions of the adult that has to do work. Pretty slick if you ask me.

I close up the program I'm working in and sit on the floor. I pull Des out of her seat and let her travel on the floor. She's funny when she crawls and for some odd reason I seem to be the best thing in the world to climb. We sit and play for a while and I don't even hear Melissa come in. She walks in from the other side of my desk and scares me from behind. I jump slightly and bring her down to the floor with the two of us.

"You know, Alex, you're fun to watch when you play with Desi."

I kiss her lightly and smile. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

She shrugs. Man, I never knew I could be happy before all this. And for once, I feel like everything is going to be alright.

"Daddy daddy daddy!"

I open the front door to be ambushed by a waddling munchkin. I can't believe how quickly she's growing. Then again, I wind up missing so much of her life that I'm almost expecting to come home and have Liss tell me that Desi left for college. I know that I'm being pessimistic, but that's how I feel. And the last assignment I was on made me second guess everything for the billionth time. I lift Des off the ground and give her a hug. "And how's my munchkin?"

"I no munchkin, daddy." She gives me a defiant look that reminds me of Liss when I've really ticked her off, but coming from Des it's comical.

"You aren't?" I try and act surprised.

"No, she's a regular trouble maker." I look up to see Lissa standing in the door way to the kitchen. I cross the room, putting Des in a chair on my way, and pull Liss into a tight embrace. I know I was only gone for a couple of weeks, but for some odd reason it felt like an eternity this time. I place a light kiss on her lips and gaze into her eyes.

"Hmm, I think I like this new entrance." She smiles. Man, that smile could light up a room. I can't help but laugh. Next thing I know I have a small person wrapped around my leg.

I look down to see Destiny looking right back at me. "I no say down."

I give Liss a questioning look and she shrugs. "She hit the terrible two's nine months early?" She offers me as an explanation.

I shake my head and pick Des back up. I glance at Liss, complete mischief dancing in my eyes. "Wonder where she got it from." I get a face made at me and a tongue stuck out at me in response.

I descend the stairs later that night to find Mel sitting on the couch watching some late show. I sit down next to her and pull her into arms and kiss the top of her head. She looks up at me and smiles. "So what brought you back so soon?"

"You wanted me gone longer?"

She rolls her eyes. "Since when have I ever wanted that?"

I shrug. This has become a small ritual when I'm gone for any time period shorter than a month. I've learned not to bring up the first two years when she'd shoot me glares that could kill whenever I was in the same room. I'd say we were past that now. I can feel her head growing heavy on my chest. I pick her up and carry her up the stairs.

"Alex, you can put me down. You're going to throw your back out or drop the both of us down the stairs. Personally I don't want to see either."

"Hey I didn't do either when we came back from eloping, did I?" She laughs and I know she can recall the day as well as I can.

I had gotten as sick of No-Name, USA as she had and decided it was time for us to take a vacation. We had started in California, some where around San Diego I think, and on some whim we decided we wanted to see Nevada. We wound up in Vegas. I don't recall the name of the place, but it was one of the more traditional looking chapels. What I do remember is Des in a baby carrier, Liss in a flowery dress, and myself in a T-shirt, jeans and my trustee leather jacket. We took a couple of pictures and have them on the fireplace mantel now. I still think they make funny wedding pictures. The night we got home, Des was fast asleep before we were in the door. So as soon as we did get in the house, I took her upstairs and Liss plopped into the nearest chair. I returned downstairs and pulled Liss straight out of her chair and carried her up the stairs without a problem. I never saw the suitcase at the foot of the bed and hit it hard, dropped Liss, and fell on her. We were lucky to land on the bed, but boy was it hilarious. Ten points for Mr. Smooth.

We lay in bed and I can't sleep. I have something that I've been thinking about for some time now, and I think I should bring it up. I roll over and face Liss, who I hope is still awake. I lean over to whisper in her ear. "Liss." She stirs a little and I try again. "Lissa..."

Her eyes flutter some. "Hmm?"

"Are you up?"

I hear her chuckle. "I am now." She turns to face me. "What's on your mind?"

I slide my arm around her and lean my forehead to hers. Maybe I can channel it to her. Naw, I think those abilities are asleep at this hour. I know I would be. "I was just thinking." She nods so I continue. "What would you say if..." I pause. Now how do I put this tactfully?

"Alex?" If she wasn't awake before she sure is now.

"What if I said it was time?"

She raises an eyebrow. "Time?"

I nod slowly. "To see them again."

I hear her sigh. "Alexander Dimitri Krycek, I know you didn't wake me to tell me some lame joke. And you're early for April Fool's."

Ouch. The full name. I should have seen that coming. I shake my head and sit up pulling her with me. I turn her head and hold her eyes with mine. "Liss, I'm serious."

The room falls silent and all we can do is stare at each other. I try and figure out what's going on in her head. The look on her face is one of confusion. Finally the silence is too much to handle. "Melissa, say something," I plead.

Her mouth attempts to speak, but no sound comes out. Finally a single tear drops from her eye and she starts crying. I pull her into my arms and let her cry. She starts to mumble something, possibly trying to explain how she feels. "I don't...but why...I...how..."

I have no idea what to say to her. I know I just threw her whole world out of whack. Leave it to me to screw something else up. But somehow I feel like something good will come out of all this. Like I needed to take this step and bring her back. I hear her sobs subside and she pulls back some to look at me. She looks so unsure and vulnerable. Damn what did I just do?

"I can't."

Say what? "What? Why not?" I was so not expecting that.

"I can't do that to them. They think I'm dead. Mom'll have a heart attack while Dana'll have a stroke and Fox'll start shooting at you. Not my idea of a family reunion." There's a ton of sorrow in her voice and there is no way she can convince me that this isn't my fault. I am so not good for her. Unhealthy even. Maybe I need to be shot.

"Look, Lissa, think about it. Sleep on it even. You can get back to me in the morning. Or later. Take as much time as you need." She nods and lays back down. I know she wants to go. And I know she's going to tell me that she doesn't want to go.

The wind is knocked out of me and I bolt up in bed. I come face to face with a pair of innocent hazel eyes. "Destiny Michelle Krycek, what did I tell you about jumping on me while I'm sound asleep?"

She frowns at me, most likely because I used her full name. "But you were talking."

I sigh. I forgot that I talk in my sleep. And she doesn't understand how a person can talk and sleep at the same time. "Okay munchkin. Don't worry about it."

I pick her up and take her to the kitchen. "Where's mommy?"

She shrugs and I put her in a chair and grab a bowl. Cereal, the breakfast of the champs. I grab the box of Fruit Loops off the shelf. "Have you eaten yet?" She shakes her head so I grab another bowl.

A few minutes into our meal, Mel walks in the room and sits at the table. I give her a curious glance asking where she was at and she shrugs in response. "Went for a walk," is the only thing she offers in explanation. I nod. I'm not going to even push my luck and tick her off.

For three days she was in her state of deep thought. Finally as I'm in the backyard attempting to teach Munchkin to toss a football, she comes outside. She sits for a bit on the grass and just watches. I can tell there's something different about her. The sparkle has returned to her eye and I know that she's come to a decision that she's happy with. I glance at my clock and announce that it's half time. Des toddles off to her swing set and tries to climb the slide backwards. I make my way over to Liss and sit on the grass next to her. "So, you look like the cat who swallowed the canary."

She laughs and I can't even describe how happy I am to hear that. "Well, I've come to my decision." I nod and she continues, "Well, I think that you're right. It is time to see them all again. Mom would love to see Destiny, and as for the rest of them, they'll just have to adjust. We all will. It's something mom always told me when I was a kid. You have to adjust to things because the world isn't always what you think it is."

One question still remains and I'm almost afraid to ask. "When do you want to go?"

She smiles. "In a week."