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Admiral Harriman Nelson looked around the room with a wistful smile on his face. It was Christmas Eve; the Institute's Christmas party was in full swing. Seaview had gotten back into port just yesterday afternoon, just in time for the crew to share the holiday with their families. Some, like Exec Chip Morton, had made a beeline for the airport to join their families who didn't live nearby. The rest were here tonight with friends and family.
Lee Crane, Seaview's Captain, was dressed as Santa, handing out gifts to the children. Nelson watched him for a while, chuckling as he thought that Lee had to be the skinniest Santa he'd ever seen. But he had a way with children. It made Nelson wonder when the obviously eligible bachelor would settle down and start his own family. It was actually rather surprising that such a handsome man would still be unattached at 35.
Nelson sighed, hoping his young friend wasn't making the mistake everybody thought he'd made. Sacrificing personal happiness for his career. Of course, for Nelson it had been a bit more complex than that. A traditional family had never been in the cards for him anyway. Hiding behind his career and his reputation as a genius immersed in his research gave a convenient excuse for why there had never been a Mrs. Nelson. Only his sister Edith knew the real reason.
And of course that was what was really bothering him tonight. Edith was involved in a big charity event back east and schedules just hadn't worked for them to be able to spend the holiday together. Seeing the Institute staff and Seaview's crew with their families on this special night made him feel out of place and alone. Suddenly he just wanted to be away from the happy families, so he wandered out onto the balcony.
Looking out into the moonlit night, he wondered again if things could have been different. Society was becoming more tolerant of same-sex couples, but of course the military lagged far behind the rest of the world on that particular issue. If he'd chosen a purely scientific career, would there have been a chance of finding a partner, somebody to share these special moments with?
He lit a cigarette and leaned on the railing, glad for the sweater he was wearing. Here in southern California the evening temperatures barely got down into the high 40's. He always found it hard to get into the Christmas spirit when it was still this warm. He found his thoughts wandering back to childhood memories of Christmas in Boston, with the cold snow and the warmth of a loving family ...
~*~
Lee Crane handed the last present to an excited little girl, the daughter of one of the Institute's researchers. He watched with a smile as she ran back to her parents with her new treasure. With a hearty "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" he picked up the now empty red sack, flung it over his shoulder, and made his exit.
About an hour ago, he had noticed the solitary figure of Admiral Nelson slip out a side door into the night. He knew his friend was feeling a little down this holiday since his sister Edith hadn't been able to come out west for the Institute's annual party. Now that his obligations as Santa had been fulfilled, it was time to see about one more special gift.
Pulling off the false white beard, he stuffed it into a pocket. As he stepped quietly out onto the balcony, he quickly spotted Nelson in the moonlight. The silvery light painted the scene in shades of gray, except for the bright red of the burning tip of Nelson's cigarette. Not wanting to startle his friend, he called out softly, "Admiral?"
Nelson turned at the sound of the familiar voice. "Hello, Lee. All done with the kids?"
Crane smiled. "They get so excited!"
Nelson had to chuckle at that. "I was just remembering how excited Edie and I used to get. Our Mom practically had to sedate us to get us to go to sleep on Christmas Eve. If they'd had Valium back then, I'm sure she would have slipped some into our hot cocoa!"
Lee laughed. He'd been worried about his friend; he was glad it was happy memories preoccupying him this time. "You two must have been quite a handfull!"
"Oh, we got into our share of trouble. I'll never forget the year she tried to put a big red ribbon on Bennie, our dog. Black lab, beautiful animal, gentle as could be. She did manage to get the bow tied, but Bennie took off before she could cut the ribbon. Unwound the entire roll, dragging it all through the house at full tilt run, even got it wrapped around the tree, almost pulled the whole thing down!" Nelson was laughing with the memory. "Oh, Mom just about had a fit!"
Lee tried to picture the Admiral and his sister as children, finding it quite amusing. Nelson turned to him. "What about you, Lee? Favorite Christmas memories?"
"Not from that far back. Growing up, Christmas was just another day off for my old man to get drunk. Usually my uncle and his wife and kids would come over and he and my dad would get into a shouting match at some point. It wasn't till Chip dragged me home with him my Freshman year at the Academy that I actually started to enjoy the holiday. His mom kinda adopted me, decided I was much too skinny and spent the entire break feeding me. Thankfully, she's a GREAT cook!"
"Some things never change, do they?" Nelson couldn't resist poking at his young friend's ribs. "Why didn't you take off with Chip this year?"
Lee smiled; he'd hoped Nelson would take the bait. "Well, I had promised to play Santa, couldn't let the kids down! And besides, there's someone special here in Santa Barbara I was hoping to spend the holiday with."
"Oh." Nelson was a bit surprised. Lee dated a lot of women, but none of them ever seemed to last long enough to qualify for 'someone special.' A part of him was saddened by the thought. The part of him that secretly wished the handsome young Captain might consider HIM special enough to spend the holiday with. // Quit fooling yourself, Nelson. Even if he were interested in men, he'd never want an old sea dog like you. //
A companionable silence fell over them as they looked out into the night. Something caught the corner of Lee's eye, and with a soft gasp, he reached out to touch the Admiral's arm, pointing at a shooting star. Twin wishes were offered up to that omen of good fortune.
// I wish he could be mine ... //
// I wish this turns out the way I've hoped ... //
Nelson gave a soft sigh. // Getting sentimental in my old age. You know it can't be. // He looked up at his handsome young companion. "Well, you'd better go meet your lady friend, Lee."
Lee just stood there for a moment, then took the opportunity. "It, uh ... it's not a woman ..."
// There. See what he does with that. //
Nelson had not been expecting that. // Could he possibly mean ... ? No, you're reading too much into it. //
After a few beats of silence, Lee turned to his friend, concerned. "Does that shock you, Admiral? Before we left on this last cruise, I heard you arguing with Admiral Park. I thought you'd be ... able to accept this ..."
// My god, he is! // Nelson's head was spinning. He remembered the argument with Roy Park about a month ago. Park had been upset that a member of his staff had been caught at a gay bar. Trying to calm his friend, Nelson had argued that a man's overall character was more important than who he chose to share his bed. Park hadn't wanted to hear it, and it had turned into a shouting match.
" ... hope you understand the need for discretion? I ... haven't shared this secret with many people, Admiral."
Lee's words finally cut through the fog. Looking up at his young friend, Nelson could see the very real fear in his eyes. He spoke almost without thinking, only wanting to offer comfort. "Of course, Lee, of course. I understand all too well ..."
As they looked at each other, a moment of understanding was reached. Lee smiled softly. "Admiral? You too?"
Embarrassed, Nelson nodded; he truly had not intended for that to slip out. Lee sighed. "You know, there have been a couple of times I've caught you watching me. There was something in your eyes, it made me wonder ..."
Nelson bowed his head, ashamed. "Lee, please, I'm sorry. I would never do anything to put you in an uncomfortable position. Perhaps you'd better go meet your friend."
// He just doesn't get it! // Lee laughed softly and answered. "Admiral, I'm not going anywhere. I'm already with my special someone."
Nelson looked up in surprise just in time to see Lee grab something from the pocket of the Santa suit and squeeze it over the white puff ball at the end of the Santa hat. He leaned forward so that the sprig of mistletoe hung right over the Admiral's head. One hand reached out to gently touch Nelson's face. "Merry Christmas, Harry."
Nelson's entire body seemed to go limp at the touch of those amazingly soft lips against his. And then Lee's arms were around him, holding him up, holding him close. The kiss had ended; Nelson found himself with his head nestled comfortably on the taller man's shoulder, holding on as if something infinitely precious was within his grasp. Which of course, it was.
"Oh, Lee," he sighed, struggling to find the words through the intense emotion.
"Shh. It's ok, Harry. I'm not going anywhere." The Captain's long arms held him close, gently stroking his back.
Finally, Nelson pulled back and looked up at his friend, his ... lover? Could this really be happening? Hesitantly, he reached up to touch Lee's cheek. "Lee? I'm not dreaming, am I? If this is real, it's the best Christmas present I've ever gotten."
Lee smiled and bent to kiss him again, letting his lips speak without words. As they kissed, another shooting star streaked silently overhead. // wishes granted. //