SquidgeWorld Archive

~*~

Speed watched with humor, as Horatio argued with the airline representative. He wasn't sure what was more enjoyable, a frustrated Horatio or the agitated representative. Neither were backing down, and the situation was giving Speed plenty of entertainment. Finally, Horatio gave a parting shot and stalked away. Speed smiled at the representative's smug look of satisfaction - she had won. He quickly controlled his features as Horatio paced in front of him, now on his cell phone. He slammed his phone shut and slumped into the seat next to Speed.

Speed tried not to grin, "Problems?"

"Shut Up," Horatio uncharacteristically growled. "I can't believe they can't get my luggage."

Speed snickered then sobered fast at Horatio's look, "I'm sorry."

"How does one's luggage end up in Quebec when I'm not even going to Quebec?" Horatio asked. "Please I want…no…I need to know."

Speed took a deep breath, "It needed a vacation?"

"SPEED!" Horatio yelled. "It's not funny. To top it off I'm stuck here! My flight to Vermont was cancelled due to heavy snow and ice, and I can't get a flight back to Miami because the airport is closing due to heavy snow and ice."

"And your luggage is in Quebec," Speed reminded him.

Horatio glared at him, "You're not helping."

"I'm sorry H," Speed started laughing. "I mean - God - sometimes you have the worse luck. Come on, you have to admit it's funny."

"No, it's not!" Horatio tried not to smile, but was losing the battle.

"H," Speed grinned. "You're luggage is in Quebec, Canada and you're in Syracuse, New York."

Horatio bowed his head and laughed, "Don't you dare tell anyone."

Speed just gave him an evil grin, "Now whom on earth would I tell? Calleigh? Eric? Alexx? The entire Miami-Dade Police Department?"

Horatio shook his head, "Blackmail isn't becoming of you."

Speed stood up, "Come on."

"What?" Horatio looked up at him.

"You're coming home with me," Speed explained. "I'm not leaving you in the airport or some cold hotel room."

"I don't want to intrude," Horatio hedged against the invitation. He had plans to visit an old college friend up in Vermont for the holidays, to get away from the sun and sand of Miami. He had been surprised to find out Speed was on the same flight. Speed had informed him that he was on his way home for the holidays, the first time in five years. He couldn't put up with his mother's nagging anymore, so he agreed to go home. Ironically, they were on the same flight back to Miami.

"Believe me you would be doing me a favor," Speed put his hand out towards Horatio.

"And what would that be?" Horatio took it, Speed helping him out of the seat.

"My family doesn't know how to talk to me and I don't know how to talk to them," Speed said as they walked down the terminal.

"Why?" Horatio asked. "I find you're easy to talk to."

Speed gave him a shy smile, "They don't understand why I settled in Miami."

"And how am I supposed to help?" Horatio asked as they reached the front entrance.

"I can talk to you, while they ignore me." Speed stepped out into the cold New York air.

Horatio shivered, pulling his coat tighter around him, "DAMN it's cold!"

"You get used to it," Speed grinned.

"Like you got used to the humidity?" Horatio asked as they got into the rental car van.

"Exactly," Speed grinned.

"Great, I’m going to freeze my ass off." Horatio grumbled.

"That would be a shame," Speed muttered quietly to himself. "It's a nice ass."

"What?" Horatio looked over at him.

"Nothing," Speed smiled.

~*~

Speed stopped the car a few blocks away from his family's house. Horatio had finally gotten warmer with the car heater on full blast. "Horatio," Speed hesitated. "There's something you need to know about my family."

"What?" Horatio looked at him a bit puzzled. "Your mother is a social worker and your dad owns a restaurant."

"More like a chain of restaurants," Speed commented. "My mom isn't exactly a social worker, per say. She just likes to throw parties and fund raisers for social causes. I told you about my friend, Thomas?"

"He died of complications during surgery," Horatio watched Speed closely.

"Thomas wasn't just my best friend," Speed looked up and over at Horatio.

"He was your lover?" Horatio inwardly smiled, he had suspected for a while. "You're parents don't understand that you're gay?"

"Oh, no, that's not the issue." Speed rolled his eyes. "It's fashionable at the moment to have a gay son. They don't understand why I never finished medical school. I was to be their cool gay son who was a doctor and lived in a penthouse in New York. Instead I had an emotional breakdown, fled the state - ending up in Florida as a CSI, not very glamorous. In their eyes I'm a disappointment because I never lived up to their expectations."

"You have a younger brother, right?" Horatio asked.

"Yeah," Speed shrugged. "Twelve years younger than me. He's determined to be the better son. You know Harvard Business School, beautiful society girlfriend, fancy suits and cars, the exact opposite of me."

"Which is?" Horatio asked.

"Med-student drop out, jeans and t-shirt with a motorcycle, gay with no boyfriend in sight, oh and I live in an apartment and work for the city. And I already mentioned the mental breakdown, right?" Speed laughed humorously.

Horatio turned in his seat and forced Speed to look at him, "Speed. You are a talented CSI, which I'm proud to have on my team. I don't care about your family or where you come from."

"I know that, H." Speed looked into the blue eyes. "I'm just warning you that things might be said, and I don't want you getting upset."

"Yet, you brought me home to meet them?" Horatio pointed out.

"I couldn't leave you at the airport," Speed shifted the car back into drive. "Besides, they will be so occupied with asking you questions they will forget about me."

"Oh, I see, you're using me as cover." Horatio gave him a slide glance. "Throw a piece of meat at the alligators and while they attack it - you run by."

"Exactly!" Speed exclaimed as they pulled up to the driveway.

"You weren't kidding about the chain of restaurants were you?" Horatio looked at the old style house. It was hidden behind a large gate and large driveway lined with evergreen trees. The house loomed on the edge of the lane. Horatio could see a freestanding garage off to the side of the house. There were open fields behind and to the side of the house.

"You tell anyone…" Speed gave Horatio a look.

"Make a deal," Horatio smirked. "No one knows my luggage went to Quebec…"

"No one knows my parents are filthy rich and I live in squalor." Speed replied sarcastically.

"Speed…" Horatio reprimanded.

"Let's go in, and meet the family." Speed stepped out of the vehicle. "H, just know – no matter what you say or do, nothing will change their minds about me. You could tell them I single handedly caught a serial killer saving lives and they would just wonder why I wasted such talents and didn't go back to Med-School."

"But you did," Horatio responded.

Speed grinned, "If I recall you helped."

"No, I watched. When you get addicted to a case, it's a sight to behold. You get so lost in the evidence - you leave the world behind," Horatio complimented.

Speed blushed, "Let's get inside."

Horatio followed the younger man into the house. His eyes took in the foyer and surrounding rooms, with a critical assessment. Everything was placed strategically to enhance the room, and the occupants that live there. It was designed to show their wealth and status in society. He looked over at Speed, rumbled wool sweater and jeans accented by a black scarf and hiking boots. His hair was slightly wet and plastered to his forehead, and of course the ever-constant shadow. He didn't fit in the room.

An older woman dressed in an elegant black silk pantsuit walked out into the foyer a flattering smile on her face. Her dark brown hair was pulled into a twist onto her head, held together by delicate diamond hairpins. She held herself with grace and pose. Her brown eyes focused on Speed, her smile falter at his appearance.

"Timothy," She sighed as she stepped up to him giving him a kiss on the cheek. "We have dinner guests and weren't expecting you till later."

"I informed dad that my flight would arrive at four o'clock, and would probably be here between six and seven." Speed looked over into the dining room, to see a room full of elegantly dressed guests.

"It must of have slipped his mind," She smiled.

"He probably didn't care," Speed muttered.

"Timothy," His mother's voice turned hard. "Don't speak that way about your father."

"Mom," Speed turned towards Horatio. "I want you to meet Horatio Caine, he works with me. Horatio, my mother Angela Speedle."

"Mrs. Speedle," Horatio held out his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"You're a CSI?" Angela asked taking his hand.

"He's my Lieutenant," Speed answered.

"Isn't that difficult to balance?" Angela smiled at Horatio. "I mean your professional and personal lives."

Speed looked at her confused, he was about to ask what she meant, when Horatio smiled. "Work stays at work."

Speed frowned; he just missed something very important. "Mom, since you've got guests we can just go up to our rooms."

"Henry can take up your luggage," Angela looked around the foyer. "Is this all?"

"Horatio's luggage was lost by the airlines," Speed explained as he grabbed his bag before the elderly butler could. "I'll take him into town tomorrow for some clothes, in the mean time we're the same size so he can borrow mine." Speed headed for the stairs. "I'll see you in the morning."

"I've had them fix your room up, Timothy. You and Horatio can stay there; don't need to stay in separate rooms for appearances sake." She smiled over at Horatio. "I'm sorry about the mix up with the arrival; breakfast is at seven in the sun room. I look forward to talking more with you, Horatio." She nodded and headed back into the dining room.

Speed stood on the stairs in shock - he just got it. "Mom…"

"Speed," Horatio grabbed his elbow. "Let's just get unpacked and settled."

"But?" Speed turned towards him. "She thinks…"

"I know," Horatio walked up the stairs. "Which way to your room?"

"Down the left hallway, last one on the right." Speed just looked at him. "You're …"

"Let's just discuss this when we get settled," Horatio ushered the man down the hallway.

~*~

"This was your room as a kid?" Horatio looked around the room they had just entered. A large king size bed sat in the middle, large bay windows on each side. To the right of the bed was a chair and couch facing the fireplace. Bookshelves lined the walls on each side of the fireplace. A desk sat prominently against the wall opposite to the bed, next to the door. Left of the bed there were two doors. One door he found out was the entry to the walk in closet, filled with clothes, and the second door led into the bathroom. It was painted in a soft blue accented by white.

"No, this is one of their finer guest rooms. The room I had as a kid was turned into an office for Paul, my brother." Speed answered as he walked into the closet. "I don't know why I bother packing. She always puts clothes in here she thinks I should be wearing. You should be happy; there are a few suits in here. There are also some sweaters and winter coats so you won't freeze…"

"Speed," Horatio stepped into the closet. "As ironic it is to have this conversation in the closet, could you come out here?"

Speed stepped out of the closet with his head down, "I'll explain to my mother that she was mistaken about our relationship in the morning."

"You don't have to," Horatio voice was soft.

Speed looked up at him, "And what? You act like my boyfriend while we are here. I can't ask you to do that Horatio."

Horatio smiled at him. "You haven't been home for what? Five years. So let them think that you brought your boyfriend to meet your parents instead of taking pity on a stranded co-worker."

"What good would it do?" Speed slumped into the couch. "I'm still the failed son in their eyes, so what if I have a boyfriend."

"Think of it as cover," Horatio sat down next to him. "They are so focused on the 'boyfriend' that they will leave you alone."

"Yeah and when they ask about you when I'm back in Miami, then what?" Speed asked.

"It didn’t work out," Horatio shrugged.

"I can tell them that they scared you off," Speed laughed. "Of course they will find a way to blame me, and take your side."

Horatio laughed, "It's just for the week. It could be fun."

"You're kidding right?" Speed eyed him. "A week with my family is not fun, it's purgatory."

"It can't be that bad," Horatio smiled.

"Remember that statement," Speed smirked back at him. "There's some sleep pants in the closet that should fit you." Horatio stood up and headed for closet. "You can freshen up in the bathroom. I'm going to call the kitchen and see if we can get some food up here."

Horatio paused inside the closet in shock, "Call the kitchen?"

"My family my not understand me, but the staff loves me." Speed yelled out. "I can call at two in the morning and they will fix me something. I guarantee it's already around the place that I brought a guest. You have no idea what you've started."

"Speed, these suits are Armani," Horatio poked his head out.

"You can have one if it fits you," Speed shrugged as he turned back to the phone.

Horatio leaned back into the closet, 'Maybe I should. What chance do I have of ever owning an Armani?' He listened for Speed on the phone, as he snooped around the closet. 'Leather pants?' Horatio grinned, imagining Speed in them. 'Horatio, what the hell were you thinking pretending to be his boyfriend. Oh that's right, you figured that you could what? Seduce - court him while you’re here.' Horatio heard Speed hung up the phone. 'So to play this right, I need to get the staff on my side.' He stepped out of the closet with a pair of jogging pants, and sweater. "I'm going to clean up. Do you have a razor I can borrow? Or do you even shave?"

"Funny," Speed glared at him from the fireplace. "I put my stuff in the bathroom, but I noticed there was a spare razor in there. It's like I'm staying at a hotel. Dinner should be up here in the hour. I asked for some extra blankets and pillows. You can take the bed, I'll take the couch."

"No," Horatio turned back around.

"No what?" Speed sat down on the couch, a book in his hands.

"You're not sleeping on the couch," Horatio placed his hands on his hips. "I'm here at the graciousness of you're heart, I'll take the couch."

Speed sighed, "H…"

"Speed…" Horatio took the 'I'm the boss - so you better obey me' tone. The two glared at each other, both stubborn and refusing to budge. "Look, it's a big bed. We'll just share."

Speed opened his mouth to protest, but was stopped by a knock at the door. Horatio gave him one last look and turned and went into the bathroom. As far as Horatio was concerned the discussion was over. Speed sighed and opened the door. "Dad?" Speed was shocked to see his father.

"Just wanted to see if you were settled in," His father stepped into the room.

"He's in the bathroom," Speed answered the questioning look.

"You didn't say you were bringing a guest," His dad turned towards him.

"It was a last minute thing, his plans got cancelled." Speed explained the situation. He wasn't lying.

"You never mentioned him before," His dad looked at his son.

"I've mentioned him, in context of work. You were probably not listening." Speed shrugged.

"I just think it's odd, that all of the sudden you actually show up for the holidays and with a boyfriend." His father pointed out.

"I have a life in Miami," Speed took a deep breath. "Just because I don’t talk about it when we talk on Sunday between the hours of two and three, doesn't mean it isn't there. I'm only here because mom called every day for two months to get me to agree."

"Is it wrong to want to see our son?" He asked.

Speed rubbed his forehead; he felt a headache coming on. "No it's not. It's been a long day."

"I just want to know why you didn't mention him to us." His dad backed off a bit. "We're not ashamed you're gay."

Speed looked over at the closed bathroom door, "It's a fairly new development."

His dad smiled a bit, "A work relationship that became personal. So you kept it under wraps."

"You could say that," Speed shrugged. "We were friends one minute and dating the next."

"Your mom is my best friend," His dad stated. "Friendship makes the relationship stronger."

Speed just nodded, he didn't know what to say. This was one of the longest conversations he'd ever had with his dad. "Mr. Speedle, I assume?" Horatio called out from the bathroom door.

"William Speedle," William held his hand out, "Nice to meet you Mr. Caine."

"Horatio," He shook William's hand. "I can see where Speed gets his looks." Speed was a spitting image of William; except Speed had his mothers build.

"Speed?" William turned towards Speed.

"Nickname," Speed explained.

William just hummed and nodded, "I saw Clara working in the kitchen so I know your dinner should be arriving shortly. It was nice meeting you Horatio. I'll see you two at breakfast."

Speed closed the door behind him. "I'm sorry, should have realized they don't call you Speed."

Speed shrugged, "what's one more thing they can dislike about me?"

"How did you get the nickname?" Horatio asked, sitting at the couch.

"Motorcycle racing," Speed sat in the chair, "with a combination of my last name."

"Racing?" Horatio eyes bore into Speed's.

"Misspent youth," Speed gave him a challenging grin. "There are a lot of things you don't know about me."

"I look forward to finding them out," Horatio challenged back.

~*~

Speed woke up content and warm, he sighed and snuggled farther into the pillow. Until he realized it wasn't a pillow but a warm body. He opened his eyes; he was resting on Horatio's chest. Horatio's arm was around his waist holding Speed close to his body. Speed had to figure a way out of this predicament fast. His dreams had consisted, as they normally did, of Horatio, his office - more specifically his desk, and of them stuck working late one night.

'I knew this was a mistake, should have slept on the couch.' Speed tried to move away from Horatio, but his arm tightened around Speed's waist pulling him closer. Speed willed himself to stay calm, specifically certain sections of his anatomy. 'Speed only you would make your greatest fantasy turn into your worse nightmare.' He had been in love with Horatio for two years now. He had spent hours, days on putting that shredded paper back together, and when he looked up Horatio was staring at him. Their eyes locked – Speed couldn't look away from those deep blue eyes. He found himself over the next months slowly falling in love, it didn't help that he had always been attracted to redheads. He knew what Horatio hid under those suits; he had watched him in the shower, a shower that fueled his fantasies for months. And now he was curled up to that body, a very warm body.

Speed slid down and away from Horatio, he was able to get out of the bed without waking the man up. He sighed in relief. He grabbed a pair of jeans, turtleneck and sweater out of the closet and headed for the bathroom. He showered, shaved and changed into his clothes. By the time he stepped out of the bathroom he decided to take Horatio to the town to pick up some clothes and show him the sights. He might as well enjoy this precious alone time with Horatio.

He leaned up against the bathroom door and watched Horatio sleep. He looked peaceful while he slept; years were taken off his face. Horatio shifted the covers dropping to reveal a smooth flawless back. Speed took a deep breath and moved away from the bathroom towards the front door. Before he left he wrote a note that he would be down in the library, and to come find him so they could eat breakfast and head into town.

Speed sat in one of the leather chairs by the bay window in the library. He had a book in his hand, but his attention was focused outside watching the sunlight shimmer on the new fallen snow. He had always found it peaceful here, when no one else was around.

"Don't you ever shave?" Angela Speedle walked into the room. "It looks very un-professional."

"He shaves every morning," Horatio's voice called out into the room. "But by ten in the morning it's back." Horatio smiled down at Speed. "By five it's a beard."

Angela shook her head, "Still. You should look more presentable while you're here." She eyed his outfit.

Speed shrugged, "You would die of shock if I looked more presentable."

"I would die of shock if you did," Horatio grinned at him. "You about gave Calleigh a heart attack when you showed up in a suit for court."

"Well I can't show up in jeans and a t-shirt, no matter how much I want to." Speed shrugged closing the book on his lap.

"What are your plans for the day, since you missed breakfast?" Angela's tone indicated she wasn't happy with them.

"I was hoping to take Horatio into town to get him some clothes," Speed stood up. "Maybe have lunch at Ruby's."

"Tonight we are having a small cocktail party," She began as she headed out of the room. "Make sure to be ready by seven. Timothy, I expect you to be in a suit and shaved."

Speed watched her leave; sighing heavily he set the book down on the table. Horatio picked it up, "Three Musketeers?"

"One of my favorites," Speed answered.

"In French?" Horatio opened the book.

"I took four years of French in high school, kept up with it over the years. Dumas's books are so much more intriguing in their native language." Speed answered by the Library entrance.

"I'm learning a lot about you on this trip," Horatio followed him out of the library and down the hallway.

"It's not fair, really." Speed stopped suddenly and turned finding himself a few inches from Horatio. "I know nothing about you."

"I speak Spanish," Horatio answered not taking a step back.

"I knew that," Speed smiled. "When you and Calleigh conspire, you two speak in Spanish."

"Maybe I should learn French, and then we can conspire against her." Horatio whispered.

"Timothy!" A voice broke the two apart.

Speed turned around to see his brother coming down the hallway. He groaned, "Paul."

"Mom said you were home," He stopped in front of the two men.

Horatio was a bit surprised. Paul looked nothing like Speed. He was shorter by a few inches, blondish hair with blue eyes. He wore a suit, expensive silk if Horatio wasn't mistaken.

"Decided it was a good time as any to come home," Speed shrugged. "If you would excuse us, we have to go into town."

"Mom said you had brought a friend," Paul looked over at Horatio. The two men sized each other up. Paul shrugged and looked back at Speed. "Not surprised he's a redhead."

"Paul," Speed voice became hard. "What do you want?"

"Just to say hello to my long lost brother." Paul feigned politeness.

"That's nice," Speed stepped around him. "See you later tonight."

"Did you bring a suit? Or do you even own one?" He smirked at Speed.

Speed kept walking down the hall, and then stopped when he realized Horatio wasn't next to him. He turned back to see Horatio eyeing Paul, like he usually eyes a suspect. "Horatio Caine." Horatio held his hand out.

"Pleasure," Paul took the hand. "And where did my brother find you? Bar?"

Speed eyes narrowed, "Paul…"

"We work together," Horatio answered.

"That's nice, didn't realize cops were so accepting of fags." Paul looked over at Speed.

"It's a modern world," Horatio commented as he turned towards Speed, who was fuming at his brother. "Come on Speed, let's go into town." Horatio grabbed Speed's hand and pulled him down the hall. Speed turned his back on his brother and just enjoyed the sensation of Horatio holding his hand.

~*~

Speed parked the car in front of a small restaurant, "H?"

"No need to apologize," Horatio got out of the car.

Speed led them into the restaurant, "I sometimes wonder if he's really related to me."

"I was wondering the same thing," Horatio laughed.

The two men sat down at one of the back booths, "They have the best chicken pot pie here, and the biscuits are to die for." Speed told him.

"Why if it isn't Timothy Speedle," An older woman stepped up to the table. "What brings you back home?"

"Mom nagged me to death," Speed smiled.

"Only took five years," The woman smiled. "Who's your friend?"

"Ruby, this is Horatio Caine," He smiled over at Horatio.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Caine," She grinned at him. "Figures, Speed always liked redheads."

Speed banged his head down on the table, "Ruby!"

"What?" She smiled. "Two pot pies coming up, with an order of biscuits and hot apple cider for you – Mr. Caine, coffee or cider?"

"It's Horatio," he smiled at Ruby, "Coffee please."

"Coming right up," She patted Speed's head. "Good to see you, baby."

Speed watched her leave, "remind you of anyone?"

Horatio laughed, "Yeah. So redheads?"

Speed blushed, and Horatio laughed.

~*~

Horatio stood at the bathroom door his jaw dropped to the floor. Speed stood by the fireplace wearing a dark gray Armani suit. His hair was actually tamed, and his face was shaved. The light from the fireplace just made the image seem surreal. It took every inch of Horatio's will power not to stalk over there and kiss the man senseless. He scolded himself when he noticed he was halfway across the room with every intention of doing just that.

"You clean up well," Horatio was completely amazed at the complete control he had over his voice. All those years interrogating suspects paid off.

"Thanks," Speed grinned. "You're looking pretty good yourself."

The cocktail party was like every typical cocktail party Horatio had ever attended - cold, stuffy, and boring. He decided ten minutes into the party he disliked Paul Speedle, by thirty minutes he found him offensive, by the time an hour had gone he had passed Stetler on Horatio's list of men he hated the most. He couldn't figure out what genes the two men had in common.

"Mr. Caine," William Speedle stepped up to Horatio.

"Please call me Horatio," Horatio smiled at the older Speedle.

"I missed you at breakfast," William accused.

"We slept in, long trip." Horatio shrugged.

"I finally recalled my son's mentions of you. You're his Lieutenant?" William clarified.

"Yes," Horatio nodded. "We've learned to keep work away from our home life."

"That's good," William nodded his head. "I worry about my son."

Horatio paused, "In what ways?"

"He's always been a loner," William looked over at Speed who was quietly sitting in one of the corners. "He only had one real friend."

"Thomas?" Horatio eyes searched out Speed's.

"He told you about Thomas?" William seemed surprised.

"Yes," Horatio looked back at William. "It was one of those moments. I was talking about the loss of my brother and he opened up about Thomas."

"You're good for him," William stated suddenly. "I've never seen him this content, except when he was with Thomas. We don't understand each other; he's an intelligent boy, maybe too intelligent. I couldn’t relate so I just stopped trying."

"Shouldn't you be telling this to him?" Horatio asked the elder Speedle.

"He doesn't want to hear it," William smiled. "And in truth I don't blame him. We've made it clear to him that we don't understand why he decided not to go back to Med-school."

"He's a good CSI," Horatio explained to him. "His drive and dedication have put many criminals behind bars. It might not be the same as saving someone's life on the operating table, but he has saved lives."

"Mr. Caine," William's eyes bore into Horatio's. "He needs someone, he won't admit it – to much like me on that aspect. I can see you love him even if he doesn't at the moment." Horatio figured out where Speed got his deductive skills.

"Mr. Speedle," Horatio looked at him.

William smiled, "I had a small heart attack six months ago, I'm fine now, nothing serious. But it opened my eyes to a few things. I worked hard at my restaurants to give my sons a life they could enjoy. I realized that in the mean time I had no idea about my sons' lives. I discovered that the son I didn't understand - I suddenly did and the one I supposedly knew - I didn't. I wanted…" He grinned, "Speed home. So I bugged Angela to keep pestering him. Then you show up, and I think for the first time in ten years I've seen my son smile a real smile."

"Maybe you should just talk with him," Horatio told him.

"Talk to me about what?" Speed walked up to the two men.

"Timothy," William gave his son a small smile.

"Dad?" Speed looked between the two men.

"Horatio was just telling me about some of your cases," William took a deep breath. "They sounded fascinating."

Speed mouth dropped, "I learn something new each day."

"Tell me about it," William smiled at Speed's shocked expression. "I'm curious to know about forensics. What you do? How you do it? I even watched one of those Forensics shows on Discovery and wondered if it was really like that…so I'm asking - is it?"

Speed blinked, "It's addicting."

"I don't understand?" William asked a bit confused

"You remember how you would get? When you would try a new recipe and it just wasn't right and you kept going at it for hours, days until it was perfect?" Speed tried to explain in terms his father would understand.

"Yeah," He nodded, smiling at the memories.

"It's like that, knowing just one piece of evidence could give break a case wide open." Speed smiled at his father.

"So can they really pull DNA off tape?" He asked, curious.

"We can just about pull DNA off anything," Speed answered.

"You really have to know a wide range of things," William sat down near the fireplace.

Speed took the chair next to him, "I mostly work in Trace – finding out what type of fibers, hairs or dirt that kinds of things. I don't know ballistics like Calleigh. Eric is great at figuring cars and makes by tire treads, while H knows explosives, but that's from his previous stint on the bomb squad."

"H? Horatio?" William clarified. "He was bomb squad? I can see that. He's got a sense of calmness to him."

"He keeps us calm and collected at scenes, no matter how bad they might be." Speed realized that Horatio had wandered off.

"You've seen a lot of bad things?" William asked.

"Yeah," Speed's voice dropped. "Makes you appreciate life sometimes."

"He loves you," William smiled at his son's confused expression. "Horatio, you can see it in his eyes."

Speed turned and looked at Horatio. Horatio cocked his head slightly catching Speed's look, he smiled at him then turned back talking to one of the neighbors. "Why?"

"Why what?" William asked. "Why does he love you? You would have to ask him that…but why not? You're a good man Timothy. I'm ashamed to say I haven't told you that enough times in your life."

"Why now?" Speed asked him.

"Because I woke up and realized I missed that little boy who sat with me at one in the morning while I slaved over a new recipe." He smiled sadly.

Speed leaned back in his chair; "I sat for twenty-four hours piecing together shredded documents on a case a few years back. A professor that taught hate and torture ended up killed by the very student he taught. Horatio told me to go home, I responded by saying it was too late. By that time I was addicted I had to figure out the puzzle."

"You would have made a fine doctor," William held his hand up to stop Speed from interrupting him. "But you make a better CSI. Now do me a favor – open your eyes and see what's in front of you." William looked over at Horatio; he stood up and left his son contemplating the events of the evening.

~*~

Horatio found Speed in the same seat by the window the next morning. He had been quiet and distant the rest of the night, opting to sleep on the couch. Horatio leaned against the wall watching the sun play on the dark tussles of hair. He could tell there was a lot on Speed's mind. The conversation with his father last night must have thrown him for a loop.

"Speed?" Horatio called out to the young man.

Speed turned and looked over at Horatio, his eyes full of unreadable emotion. "Morning, I'm sorry if I woke you."

"Truthfully, the bed was cold last night," Horatio walked into the room.

Speed glanced up at him; then turned back to the window. "We should get to the sun room for breakfast. She would be very upset if we missed twice in a row." He stood out of the chair and headed for the Library entry.

Horatio laid his arm on Speed's arm, "Speed…"

Speed looked over into warm blue eyes, "H…"

"Are you two coming?" Paul asked as he passed the library.

Speed stepped away from Horatio, "Give us a minute."

"Do hurry up, breakfast is getting cold." Paul walked off.

"We should get going," Speed stepped away from Horatio.

Horatio pulled him back towards him, "We need to talk." Horatio laid his palm against Speed's cheek. Speed leaned into the caress, enjoying the warmth of Horatio's hand. Horatio leaned forward, his eyes asking for permission. Speed nodded, his breath hitching in his throat.

"Timothy Speedle!" Speed jerked back to see his mom standing in the doorway. "We've been calling for you two for the past ten minutes."

Speed just nodded as he disentangled himself away from Horatio. "We should go." Speed walked out of the library, Horatio sighed and followed.

Breakfast was a tense affair. Horatio had meetings with Stetler that were less tense. Speed was in a reflective mood, not really speaking unless directly asked a question. Horatio mostly spoke with William, his eyes full of concern when he looked at Speed. Angela just rattled on about the holiday parties and how excited she was to meet Paul's girlfriend Tina and her parents, who were from Martha's Vineyard. Horatio noticed the slide glance towards him, but ignored it.

"So, Speed." Paul looked over at Speed, who eyed him back with contempt. "How's life in Miami?"

"Fine," Speed answered, "Warm, sunny, beaches and sands."

"In between the four hurricanes," Horatio added.

"Were you affected?" William asked, concerned.

"You would be surprised how many people try to hide crimes with in a natural disaster." Horatio shrugged.

"Do you get a lot of crimes there?" Angela asked.

Speed just looked at her, "Yeah, mom we do."

"I guess you would with such a big city," She smiled at Horatio. "William told me you worked in the bomb squad before becoming the CSI Supervisor. That must take dedication and a still hand."

"It taught me patience," Horatio smiled. "But I prefer CSI work, less stressful."

"That's quite an accomplishment," Paul complimented. "Bomb squad, CSI, you're a Lieutenant right?" Horatio nodded. "That takes a lot of skills to get to that position."

"You're family must be quite proud." Angela beamed at him.

Speed sat there looking at his mother. "Oh so it's okay for his family to be proud that he's a CSI but mine can't." The venom in his voice was thick.

"That's different," Angela stated.

"How?" Speed asked. "How is it different? How can you sit there and compliment a stranger about his job. The very same job I do, yet make me feeling like my job is worthless."

"You had more potential than being just a CSI," Angela hissed back at him.

Speed smirked, "So in the end your really insulting him because he didn't have more potential to be more that a CSI."

"You wasted a great opportunity," Angela sniped back. "You could have been a doctor."

"I didn't want to be a doctor!" Speed voice hardened. "There was no reason for me to be one."

"Thomas died and you gave up on everything." She spat at him. "Your life was too focused around him anyway."

"You never got it!" Speed leaned forward glaring at her. "I loved him. He was my life! We had plans for the future, plans that included a joint medical practice. When he was injured I threw myself into my studies to try to help him anyway I could. Our dreams were still there, just altered. When he died those dreams shattered."

"So you just threw away two years of school and headed to Miami." She glared back at her son. "No word, no nothing."

"It wasn't like you cared!" Speed threw his napkin onto the table. "God! He wasn't even buried for an hour and the first words out of your mouth weren't about comfort or to see how I was doing – You asked when I was going back to school. Do you even know how close I came to slitting my wrists? Do you even know that if it weren't for Uncle John and Aunt Pam I probably would have? Miami and forensics gave me something to live for and I grabbed on to it, and I found out I was good at it. I like being a CSI, I like living in Miami. All I ever wanted was for you to accept me for who I am not for who you think I should be. Why can't you just accept that?" Speed demanded an answer.

"God, Timothy how can you sit there and talk about your long dead boyfriend, while sitting next to your lover?" Paul spat out.

"I resolved my issued with Thomas long before I fell in love with Horatio." Speed glared at his brother. His eyes widen in realization of what he just revealed, Speed quickly stood up and left the room.

Horatio stood up to follow him, "Let him go. It's typical of him. He just runs off when he doesn't want to deal with a situation." Paul explained sipping his coffee.

Horatio looked over at Paul, "Piece of advice Paul – grow up." Horatio left the room in search of Speed.

Clara informed him that Speed had left the house and property. She smiled and handed him a map and the keys to her car. "He'll be there. Now go and find him. He needs you." She patted him on the arm and smiled.

~*~

Horatio found him right where Clara said he would be, he parked the car and walked up the small walkway. He didn't say anything, just stood by letting his presence be known by being supportive.

"It took me years to forgive myself," Speed voice was soft. He glanced over at Horatio. "I blamed myself for his death."

"It wasn't your fault," Horatio focused on the tombstone.

"I know that now, but then nothing was getting through. All I knew was that if I had just said no when he wanted to go snowmobiling. Or if I had just studied harder and faster, that I could have found some cure." Speed squatted down rubbing the snow off the top of the tombstone.

"You were there for him," Horatio hand rested on his shoulder. "That's more than most can say."

"No one expected me to stay with him after the accident. He was paralyzed from the neck down. They kept telling me I was young, to go to college and live - fall in love. But I was already in love – didn't matter he couldn’t move; he still had a brain, a personality, he was still Thomas. I meant what I said; the dreams were still there, just altered. When he died, a part of me died with him." Speed straightened back up and stood in front of Horatio. "But that was a long time ago. I will always love him, but I've moved on with my life."

"Speed," Horatio slipped an arm around the younger man's waist pulling him closer.

"I love you Horatio," Speed laid his head on Horatio's shoulder. "I have for a while."

Horatio ran his fingers through the wild untamed hair, "I love you too."

"Kiss me," Speed lifted his head.

Horatio smiled and brought Speed's lips to his own. The kiss was sweet and slow. They took their time exploring each other's lips and mouth.

Speed pulled back a soft smile on his face, "Let's get back so I can face the music."

Horatio grinned, "I have one question."

"What?" Speed asked as the two men walked back down the path.

"You're brother is adopted right?" Horatio asked a sly smile on his face.

"I wish, but he looks too much like Aunt Janice not to be related," Speed shrugged. "Just think, tomorrow we get to sit through Christmas Eve dinner with the whole family. Should be nice, they can all oh and ah over Tina and her parents from Martha's Vineyard."

"How about we shock the family, but making out under the mistletoe?" Horatio suggested. Speed laughed his voice light and carefree. "Or better yet, I can explain that an advantage of us being CSI's – we know how to get rid of bodies."

Speed pulled Horatio to him, kissing him passionately. He stepped back a content look in his eyes. "Thank you."

"For what?" Horatio asked.

"For being here, for this, for just being you," Speed tried to explain.

"We should probably send the airlines a thank you note." Horatio grinned.

"What for?" Speed cocked his head.

"For sending my luggage to Quebec," Horatio kissed him long and deep.

~*~

"Speed?" Speed turned around a bit shocked to see his father calling after him.

"Dad," Speed waited for his father to catch up with him.

"You were going down to the stables?" William asked as they headed down the path.

"I figured I would take Horatio for a ride later this afternoon." Speed answered.

"I see you figured things out," William smiled at him.

"Yeah," Speed grinned. "Of course blurting it out over breakfast might not have been the best option, but it worked."

"I'm sorry about your mother," William stopped his hand on Speed's arm.

Speed turned, "Why? You thought the same way only a few months ago."

"I'm trying to fix that," William exclaimed. "It's not easy for me."

Speed sighed, "Walk with me."

William paused then caught up with him, "To be honest all we wanted what was best for you. We just got wrapped up in what we thought was best, we didn’t let you decide what you wanted."

"You never told me why the sudden change of heart," Speed asked. "Mom doesn't seem to have changed her opinion."

"A heart attack changes ones perspectives," William stated.

"What? When?" Speed stopped suddenly at the news. "Why didn't anyone call me?"

"I told them not to, I didn't want you to worry." William explained. "It was mild, only in the hospital a day. Had to cut down on Ruby's delicious pot pies, exercise more, and have less stress."

"Still," Speed demanded. "I would have been here."

"I know that now," William looked down. "I had a lot of time to do a lot of thinking. I realized that I didn't even know where you lived, that as much as we complained about you never coming home; we never visited you in Miami. I just wanted the best for you. You were always so serious; reading anything you could get your hands on. You know I looked at your thesis about microbiology and I couldn’t get past the first paragraph. I was so proud of you that I forgot why you were doing it."

"Dad," Speed hesitated.

"No, let me finish." William held up a hand. "I've had six months to think about what I wanted to say to you. The simplest and not even close to being adequate is I'm sorry. You've grown into a fine young man, you have settled into a career that suits you, and have found someone to spend your life with. I couldn't be prouder. I read one of your papers – I think it was about soil samples and how it can be used to identify regional areas. It was way over my head, but it made me want to find out who you were. I know Timothy, but I don't know Speed."

Speed blinked a few tears away, "Thank you."

William looked away blinking himself. "Look at us; we're a bad Hallmark movie."

Speed laughed, then sobered. "Oh God you're right."

"I can't really do anything about your mother," William paused. "I love her, she's my best friend. But she's always lived in a world I don't understand – society and perceptions. And Paul, well, Horatio is right. He needs to grow up."

"What?" Speed looked shocked.

"Didn't he tell you?" William smirked. "When you left, Paul made some snide comment and Horatio told him to grow up."

Speed grinned, "I bet that went over well with mom."

"She couldn’t say much because I basically said the same thing, when I walked out." William shrugged.

"And I missed it!" Speed groaned. "Come on it's freezing out here; either we get to the stables or back to the house."

"Stables, want to show you my new mare." The two walked off towards the stables.

Horatio smiled as he watched from the kitchen window.

~*~

"I swear if I hear her talk about the Bush's one more time," Speed glared over at Tina, from Martha's Vineyard.

"Paul should fit right in," Horatio commented over his wine glass. "Do you think we'll be invited to the wedding?"

"The gay brother and his lover," Speed muttered trying to hide his smirk. "What will the folks on Martha's Vineyard say?"

"Timothy," Tina's mom smiled over at the two men. "Paul neglected to tell me his brother would be here. I'm so glad that you were able to come home for the holidays." She looked over at Paul, then back to Speed. "I don't recall Paul telling me what you did for a living?"

"I'm…" Speed began.

Paul interrupted, "Nothing that would interest you Bethany."

"He's a CSI down in Miami," William finished for him. "His shift has one of the highest solve rates, plus he's written a few articles."

"Really," Bethany smiled. "That must be interesting. How many cases do you work?"

Speed couldn't help but grin - Paul was livid. "A day or week?"

"Normally," She asked. "I mean crime doesn't stop just because the CSI's are working cases."

"No Ma'am, Miami never closes." Horatio stated from the sideline.

"Are you also a CSI?" She beamed at Horatio.

"My Lieutenant," Speed answered.

"What brings you to New York?" Bethany asked.

"Meeting my partner’s family," Horatio said with a straight face.

Paul went rigid; he glared at Speed who shrugged. Angela looked between Tina's parents and Timothy. "That's nice, family is very important this time of year." George, Tina's father commented, "First time in New York?"

"Yes," Horatio smiled, "A bit colder than Miami."

"Definitely," Bethany patted her husband's hand. "George and I go down to Miami at least once during the winter, to thaw out. Next time we're down we'll have to have dinner."

"That would be lovely," Horatio couldn't help the grin.

"Your older son is quite lovely, Angela" Bethany smiled at Speed. "And his partner is very charming. You must be so proud - one son a CSI and the other an upcoming business tycoon. Well if anything happens, at least one will know how to hide the bodies."

~*~

"I can't believe you embarrassed me like that," Paul glared at Speed.

"She asked me what I did for a living," Speed responded. "It would have been rude not to answer."

"But you didn't have to flaunt your lifestyle," Paul sneered.

"Is that the problem?" Speed stood up walking towards his brother. "Ashamed your brother has a male lover? Or just ashamed of me in general?"

"Face it 'Speed'." He mocked the nickname. "I was born because they realized you were a lost cause. How pathetic are you? You run away because you can't handle your 'lover' dying. Then, when you finally show back up, to prove that you're not pathetic you have a friend fake he's your boyfriend." Speed eyes narrowed at his brother. "Like anyone would be interested in a pathetic creature like you."

Speed swallowed his breathing became harsh, "You listen to me you little twit. You can insult me all you want. I don't care. But do not disrespect Thomas or Horatio in my presence."

"Why?" Paul rolled his eyes. "What are you going to do? Run back to Miami?"

Speed grabbed his brother's neck pulling him close to his face. "One of these days life is going to smack you down, and I'm hope I'm there to see it." Speed let go and stalked out of the room.

Paul looked up to see Horatio staring at him, "For your information, Paul. I'm very much in love with Speed, and am lucky enough to have him love me in return." Horatio went after Speed.

William glared at his son, "Paul."

Paul looked back at his father, "Since when do you care?"

"I've always cared, I've just been really bad at showing it." William stood up and walked over to his youngest son. "He's your brother, and when your world falls apart he will be the one you're going to want standing next to you." William looked back at his wife. "I'm going to bed."

"Mom?" Paul turned towards his mother.

Angela looked out the doorway where her husband and eldest son left. "Go to bed, Paul."

"But?" Paul continued.

"We'll discuss it in the morning," She stated.

"What? He comes home, and all of the sudden everyone just opens their arms and accept him back." Paul argued. "Does no one see he ran away, not caring what it would mean to us?"

"I was an emotional wreck," Speed answered as he walked back into the room. He had sent Horatio up to their room; he needed to clear things up with his family. "I was in no shape to deal with anyone. It wasn't the best moment in my life. I wasn't thinking about you or mom or dad. I only felt guilt and pain. It wasn't until I settled in Miami that I started to get my act together. By that time…"

"You were what? Too much of a coward to return? Or do you blame mom and dad for everything?!" Paul turned on Speed.

"What the hell do you want? You were ten years old; you had no concept of what I was going through. I tried to reach out, to come home. But I couldn't, for a long time the memories were too strong." Speed looked at his angry younger brother. "What is this really about? You hate me for leaving you? We had separate lives Paul – I had to find a life for myself, and it wasn't here in New York."

"You left me to them; I had to become their perfect son!" He stopped realizing what he just said.

Angela looked on in horror, "We never pressured you."

"Oh yes you did, in your own ways," He turned towards his mother. "You two were always talking about how much it was a shame he didn’t finish med school, he was always too emotional as a kid. I had to be everything he wasn't." He slumped into the chair exhausted.

Speed looked shocked his hands ran along his face, "This family is so fucked up."

"Timothy!" Angela scolded.

"Mom you have a gay son who had a mental breakdown because his lover died." Speed looked over at here. "Twelve years later you still can't accept my life choices whether it is my career or my choice of partners. And you have a younger son that is living a lie, because he feels he has to prove that he isn't me! How fucked up is that?"

"I only wanted the best for my sons," Angela looked at the two of them. "And you act like your lives were hell. We've given you everything, and this is how you repay us."

"Mom, answer me one question," Speed looked up at her. "What's wrong with being a CSI?"

"That's not the point, the point is…" She stammered

"No, mom. The point is I'm a CSI, not a doctor, a CSI." Speed sighed.

"But…" She hesitated, her voice soft, tears in her eyes.

"No buts," Speed stood up. "I'm sorry I didn't follow the path you chose for me. But the point is you raised me to be my own person. That means choosing my own paths. Don't make the same mistake you made with me, let Paul choose."

Speed stood in the doorway, "Horatio and I are leaving tomorrow. The airport is open once again, and we got an earlier flight out. I'm sorry I've disrupted your lives. I probably should have stayed in Miami."

~*~

Speed walked out of the room and back up the stairs. He opened the door to his room to see Horatio lying on the bed, reading the Three Musketeers. "It's in French you know."

"I know," Horatio smiled. "What happened?"

"My mom is crying, and my brother hates me for leaving him to deal with our parents," Speed slumped onto the bed. "I should have stayed in Miami."

Horatio pulled Speed closer to him. "A lot of good has come out of this trip. You've talked with your father. Even if your brother is pissed at you, at least you know why. And the best thing..." Horatio kissed him softly, shifting slightly so the younger man was pinned under him. "I can finally find out if the reality is as good as the fantasy."

"You fantasized about me?" Speed smiled a goofy smile.

"After catching you in the shower," Horatio grinned he looked down to see Speed blushing, "What?"

"That fueled a few of my own." Speed buried his head into Horatio's shoulder.

"Oh really," Horatio grinned. "Do tell."

"Usually involves you finding me in the showers," Speed muttered into his shoulder.

"Then what?" Horatio's hand slid under Speed's shirt.

"Then you lock the doors, and strip down and join me." Speed moved away from the shoulder, locking eyes with Horatio.

"I like that fantasy," Horatio grinned. "We should try it out one day."

"How about we try another one of my fantasies," Speed's hands rubbed up Horatio's back.

Horatio began nibbling on Speed's neck, "Which is?"

"Making out in my parents house," Speed wrapped his legs around Horatio pulling him flushed against him. "Make me scream."

~*~

Speed stood on the porch watching Horatio load the bags into the car. Henry, the Speedle's family butler was helping him, the two talking quietly. Horatio had in just four days gotten the whole staff in his good graces. They loved him, and all warned Speed not to do anything stupid and lose him. He just smiled and ensured them he wasn't letting Horatio go, not now, not ever.

William stepped onto the porch, "I'm sorry to see you go."

"It's for the best," Speed glanced over at him. "For what it's worth I'm glad I came."

"So am I," William laid his hand on Speed's shoulder. "Don't disappear on me. I'm home most of the time. Spice up my life, call me Wednesday at say five or oh really shock the world - eight in the morning."

Speed laughed as he turned towards his dad. He handed him a card with a number written on it, "That's my cell number; if you need anything call me."

William pulled his son into a hug, "Take care of yourself."

"I'll make sure he does," Horatio walked up to the two men. "It was a pleasure meeting you Mr. Speedle."

"William," he held his hand out. "You know we have a great barbeque on July 4th."

"I have an in with the boss," Horatio shook his hand. "I'll see about time off. We got to get going Speed." Horatio squeezed Speed's hand and went back to the car.

"Tell mom I said goodbye, and Paul I'm sorry." Speed shrugged.

"Nothing to be sorry about," William told him. "Call me when you get to Miami."

Speed walked down the steps of the porch to the car, he turned back to his dad. "I will."

~Miami~

Speed hung up his phone a small smile on his face. "Was that your dad?" Horatio asked as he walked into the room.

"No my mom." He looked over at him, his eyes ranking over the suit. "Nice suit."

"Thanks," Horatio grinned. "I found it just lying around." He stepped up to Speed. "So you're mom?"

"She wanted to know if we were coming July 4th." He slid his hands up the silk shirt. "I told her it would depend on our schedules, but I would get back to her."

Horatio grabbed Speed's wandering hands, "We got to get to work."

"You're wearing Armani to work?" Speed snickered slipping on his boots. "What ever will Stetler say; he'll probably think you're on the take."

"I have budget meetings all day, plus court in the afternoon. It's my one chance to wear it," Horatio looked over at the tight jean clad ass. "Though jeans do have a certain appeal."

Speed looked back to see Horatio ogling his backside, he wiggled a bit as he slipped on the button down shirt over his t-shirt. He grinned at Horatio's groan. "Come on, we have work to do. As you so lovingly like to remind us – Miami never closes."

~*~

"Nice suit, H!" Eric commented over the navy blue suit. "Christmas present? I take it you were a good boy this year?"

Horatio tried to repress the grin as Speed snorted, "It was a gift." Horatio informed Eric.

"Nice gift," Eric grinned. "How about you Speed? How were your holidays?"

"Enlightening," Speed answered as his cell phone rang. He looked at the display with a frown on his face, "Speedle." The two men watched as Speed nodded and hummed at all the right places. "Thank you for calling I'll make sure he knows."

"Who was that?" Eric asked.

"The airlines," Speed looked at Horatio. "Your luggage decided it need an extended vacation and is now on its way to Japan. The airline assures me that they are doing all they can to get back to the states, but they will have to fly it through Berlin, then London and then back to Miami." Speed tried desperately to repress the grin and was failing miserably.

Horatio shook his head, hiding his smile. "I thought we agreed we weren't going to mention that?"

"It's not my fault someone gave the airline my cell number." Speed grinned. "Maybe you can get them to give you frequent flyer miles for your luggage." Speed laughed as he took off down the hall.

Horatio glared at the retreating Trace Expert. He looked over at Eric who was grinning at him, "So I take it you were a really good boy and Santa brought you the gift you desired most."

Horatio slipped on his sunglasses, "Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight."