Work Text:
My World Is Empty Without You - Patt
PattRose@cox.net
~~~~~
My World Is Empty Without You ~~The Supremes
My world is empty without you, babe
My world is empty without you, babe
And as I go my way alone
I find it hard for me to carry on
I need your strength
I need your tender touch
I need the love, my dear
I miss so much
~~~~~
Jim Ellison looked out the glass doorway to his patio. This was his fourth day without Blair. He didn't know if he could handle it.
He had screwed up, big time. Why did he ask Blair if he was fooling around on him? Why did he have to ruin everything that they had? But he had asked him and Blair got upset and moved out. Four days of nothing but quiet. Simon had given him the time off to get himself together.
Oh please, like I could possibly get it together.
Would it be so difficult for Jim to call? He knew where Blair was after all. No, he wouldn't call. Blair deserved much better.
The phone rang and Jim rushed to answer. "Ellison."
"I just wanted to tell you that I'll be at work on Monday," Blair said softly and sadly.
"Thanks, Chief. For being there and calling." And that was all he said. He hung up the phone and despaired. He was such a loser sometimes.
My world is empty without you, babe
My world is empty without you, babe
From this old world
I try to hide my face
From this loneliness
There's no hiding place
Inside this cold and empty house I dwell
In darkness with memories
I know so well
Jim took all of his furniture out during the second week. He couldn't stand it. All he could smell was Blair. So now he had a nice cold view of his world. He was locked in his own little world, dark and cold with nothing but sad thoughts.
I need love know
More then before
I can hardly
Carry on anymore
My world is empty without you, babe
Without you, babe
(My world is empty) without you, babe
Week five Blair noticed that Jim was losing more weight and seemed sadder than he'd ever seen him. Jim's Guide decided that he would have to check on him this week. He tried to get Jim to open up, but of course, Jim was closed up as always.
Jim knew he was dying. One might think he was overdramatic, but it was true. He couldn't do this much longer. He was totally empty without Blair. He didn't want to live anymore.
My mind and soul
Have felt like this
Since love between us
No more exist
And each time that darkness falls
It finds me alone
With these four walls
My world is empty without you, babe
Without you, babe
(My world is empty) without you, babe
Without you, babe
Without you, babe
Jim looked out again that night and let the darkness talk to him and he answered back.
"Why did you let your Guide go?"
"I shouldn't have asked him that. But I felt like he was slipping away. So I figured he found someone more his own age.
"Do you worry about your age, Sentinel?"
"Yes. I worry I won't be enough for him. He's vibrant and perfect. He's everything a person could want. I didn't deserve him from the start."
"So you believe that you deserve to have no one and die?"
"That's what I deserve. I should die. I've hurt him and that's not allowed. Sentinel's and Guides don't hurt one another."
"If you die, you will hurt him even more."
"You don't know that."
"Sentinel, I do know that. He will lie down on this very floor and die."
"No! I don't want him to die."
"Then you have best do something about it."
"I want to love him but I feel he deserves better. So why would I put myself into his life again. I would only fuck it up again."
"Sentinel, do not talk like that."
"It's the truth."
"I meant the bad language. Who do you think you talk to each eve?"
"The darkness. You're the darkness. Thank you for listening all of this time."
"You always have your eyes closed while we talk. If you open now you shall see who speaks."
Jim opened his eyes and said, "Incacha?"
"Yes. Now there is to be no more talk of death. Call your Guide here and you'll speak the words of love."
"It's not the same now."
"I do not care, Sentinel. You will be with him once again. Contact him now."
Jim got up and called Blair. "Sandburg."
"Could you come and talk to me?"
"Jim, this isn't going to work."
"I told him that it wouldn't work. But I tried. Thank you for everything, Blair. Goodbye."
He walked back over to the darkness and said, "He doesn't want to try. And I can't go on alone."
"Rest for a while and we'll talk some more." Incacha walked him up the stairs and watched him sleep.
Jim heard someone at the door. It was 4:00 a.m. and he knew it was Blair. He rushed down the stairs and opened the door.
Blair pulled him into his arms and said, "Thank god you're all right. You sounded so odd, I thought you would do something."
"I wanted to do something. Incacha stopped me every time I thought of it. He told me I had to try and work our relationship out again. But I told him I had screwed it up to badly."
"Jim, why did you think I was seeing someone else? I've never done that to you. Hell, I never even went on a date when we broke up. I love you."
"Because I'm an ass. I'm insecure all the time. I think that you'll be happier with someone your own age. And before long I think you are with someone else. Our sex life slowed down and I figured you were getting it elsewhere."
"Do you want to try this again? If you do, you have to love me forever. You have to trust me forever and you have to stay with me forever."
"I think I can do it, Chief. I love you so much."
"Then maybe we could go upstairs. We haven't had sex in six or more weeks." Blair took Jim's hand and led him up the stairs.
"Sounds good to me."
"Jim, you are going to tell me why all of our furniture is gone. But that can wait until tomorrow. Strip for me, baby."
Jim's heart overflowed with the love and longing he'd been missing. He pulled Blair into his arms and sobbed. He had almost blown this. He now had a second chance at life and love.
"We'll just sleep. We're both tired and we need to talk some more in the morning. I love you, Jim."
"I love you too. But I would really like you to fuck me. Pretend I'm not an emotional mess. Pretend I'm not a wuss. I love you and I want you show me how much you love me."
Blair had always been good at following orders. And thankfully, Jim was really fun to fuck. Life would get better.
They both whispered words of love all night long and knew that things would be back to normal soon.
As they moved their furniture back into the loft, Blair heard Jim singing, My World Is Empty Without You. Blair smiled and realized that it was Jim's way of reminding him this can't happen again.
And it didn't.
The End.
Author's Acknowledgments: Thank you Mary. Even sick she finds time for beta-ing some of my stories.