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Disclaimer: HP and SS belong to JKR and the wonderful Infant Kiss is from the Never for ever album by Kate Bush
Authors note: I have been a lurker for a while and I always swore I would NEVER write fanfiction and definitely not a songfic... bugger... ho hum! Despite the title this is not Chan just typical Snape refusing to see that Harry has grown up! Harry is 17 and in his final months at Hogwarts.
Say good night-night
I tuck him in tight.
But things are not right.
What is this? An infant kiss
That sends my body tingling?
The blood streams down his face, the final battle over, I don't know where the strength came from but somehow I manage to get him to the infirmary. I bellow at the impossibly busy Pomfrey who with one look at my charge takes over. When did I start to care what happened to the boy? This is ridiculous I'm too old, too dark and now seemingly too far beyond redemption if I am to believe the feelings that are straining in my chest.
His eyes flick open and he summons me closer, like a fool I obey, my ear now to his lips. "Thank you," he whispers almost inaudibly. I pull away but a hand holds me in place and a gentle kiss brushes my cheek. To what depths of Dante's levels of hell have I now descended to enjoy such sensations from the mouth of a child?
I've never fallen for
A little boy before.
No control.
Just a kid and just at school.
If there was one thing I could always pride my self on it was my control and now laughingly my propriety. What am I thinking, he is my student? Less than half my age. I should not have these visions when I close my eyes. Potter, release my soul and give me back my dignity.
Back home they'd call me dirty.
My father would have beaten me black and blue, my mother disowned me. The thought of a Snape sanctioning something so wrong and with a Potter no less. I can almost hear them spinning in the family vault.
His little hand is on my heart.
He's got me where it hurts me.
Knock, knock. Who's there in this baby?
You know how to work me.
He has been released from Pomfrey's clutches and now stares unblinkingly up at me from his cauldron. The lesson seems to drag and it seems an eternity before I can dismiss the little bastards in front of me. Deliberately I do not look as they file out but my head snaps up when I hear him call my name, "Severus."
Like the coward I truly am I bolt for my private quarters, I can't be seen to crumble, my defences breached, I must flee. Back to the dark black dungeons where I belong.
All my barriers are going.
It's starting to show.
Let go. Let go. Let go.
The stopper is off the decanter and I have served myself a large measure of exceptionally good brandy, something I have only ever needed to drink after returning from a meeting with the Dark Lord. I have other classes to teach today, but somehow they are no longer important.
I cannot sit and let
Something happen I'll regret.
Ooh, he scares me!
My owl has been dispatched to Albus who will see right through my feeble excuses. Forgetting my usual care and attention I throw my belongings haphazardly into my sturdy trunk. There is not much, I have never been materialistic and soon all my worldly goods are stored safely away. There is a knock, Albus I suspect, I ignore it but the person on the other side knows my password, atonement, and now standing in front of me is the bane of life and the master of my dreams, Harry Potter.
There's a man behind those eyes.
"What are you doing professor?"
"Packing," I snap. I look up and I see something dance behind his eyes, oh my god he knows. For the first time I see not a child but a young beautiful man in front of me. A man who is walking straight for me with a look akin to determination and can that really be lust?
Words of caress on their lips
That speak of adult love.
His lips are pressed against mine. His arm snakes around my back and he presses himself firmly against me. For a moment I resist but I know it is useless I want this too much, and fundamentally I am too selfish to deny myself this less than simple pleasure. He breaks away, "I will not let you go. I did not kill Voldemort so you could walk out of my life."
"Harry," I begin but he places a finger to my lips.
"I am no longer a child, I have adult dreams and adult desires and unfortunately for you Severus you play a major part. In but a few weeks I will not be your student but do not ask me to wait for a something I want so much."
I want to smack but I hold back.
I only want to touch.
His lips are now back on mine, I should push him away, put him in his place but instead my hand cups the back of his head and the kiss deepens. With a passion that I no longer thought I possessed I claim his lips and his tongue.
But I must stay and find a way
To stop before it gets too much!
Who am I fooling? Surely not myself. I couldn't stop this anymore than I could stop the moon orbiting the Earth. I do not believe I could ever get too much of his intoxicating scent, soft skin and gentle sighs.
All my barriers are going.
It's starting to show.
Let go. Let go. Let go.
(Don't let go!)
I don't think I could let him go now if my very life depended on it. His kisses may be not be that of an infant but there are of an innocent although with my tutelage and constant practise I am sure that we will change that. My hands reach for his buttons and he does not stop me but goes to work on my own. I want him, I need him and I now I will allow myself to have him.