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Diary of Saruman
Palintir revealed strange rift opening between this world and one of a (get this!) fairy tale world. Very odd characters from that world wandering into Middle Earth. Oh, well. Just more victims for my orcs to slaughter.
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Diary of Cinderella
Back to life of drudgery. Some fairy godmother! Midnight deadlines? What kind of fairy godmother has time limits on her magic spells? To whom do I complain about this?
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Diary of Prince in Search of She Whose Foot Fits in the Glass Slipper
Searched just about every household in the kingdom. Had no idea there were so many homely, desperate women out there. Where is that beautiful mysterious princess who stole my heart that other night at the ball? I must find her!
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Diary of the Mirror on the Wall
Queen fit to be tied today. Asked me again, as she has every single day since she bought me at that flea market, who is the fairest of them all. Had to tell her something different today because strange rift opened between our world and another. Am now aware of one far more beautiful than vain queen: one nancing blond elf named Legolas Greenleaf. Queen did not take it well. She sent for her favorite assassin: Woodsman with his trusty ax.
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Diary of Legolas
What a day. Where do I begin to record strange events? Somewhat attractive prince from far away land crossed paths with our Fellowship. Carried a glass slipper. Who wears glass slippers? Not only uncomfortable, but very tacky. Never catch elves wearing such stupid footwear.
Prince took one look at me, dropped glass slipper and it shattered. Said something about to hell with mysterious princesses who won't even leave a name or address. Then he dropped down to one knee and begged me to run away with him.
Glanced over at Aragorn. He looked like he wanted to kill that prince. Aragorn pulled out his sword and told that prince to take a hike, and then he said (I quote), "Stay away from my elf!"
Oh, so now he cares? Tried last night to get him to discuss our relationship and where it was going. High and mighty Ranger got all evasive on me, saying we should be focusing on our quest to help Ring-Bearer take ring to Mt. Doom. Oh, why does he toy with my feelings like that? Sometimes he makes me believe I'm all he desires. Other times he makes me feel like I'm just a temporary diversion while he ponders his feelings for Arwen.
So the prince who dropped the glass slipper left. Thought I heard him sobbing as he rode off on his horse.
Then another suitor tried to court me, much to Aragorn's dismay. A strong, hunky woodsman. Odd method of courting, though. First he came charging at me with his ax, as if about to chop me into Elven pate. Then he stopped, stared at me, lowered his ax and dropped down to one knee. Can you guess what he did next? Yep, just like the prince with the glass slipper, he begged me to run away with him. Aragorn looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel; he was so jealous. Almost cute when he gets that way. Aragorn told the woodsman to take a hike, like he did with the prince.
Must speak to Aragorn about his possessiveness. An elf needs some space, after all. Don't need to feel smothered.
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Diary of Saruman
So thankful I have Palintir! Laughing so hard that I'm crying! Nancing elf being courted by strange men from that other world. Reaction from the Ranger is priceless! Hey, serves Aragorn right for stringing along that nancing elf! *snicker!* This is better than cable!
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Diary of Aragorn
I can't take that elf anywhere! Strange suitors keep coming out of the woodwork trying to steal Legolas away from me! Maybe it's time I made a commitment to him. Aargghh! That maddening elf! His beauty is intoxicating to me! But what about Arwen? Arrgghh! Must focus on quest! Must protect Ring-Bearer! Must keep other suitors from touching my elf! Aargghh! The stress!