Chapter Text
Christmas Memories
by Linda3
celticpryde1@insightbb.com
"Sandburg, can't you be still for even five minutes?"
The man in question sighed, for about the hundredth time. "But, Jiiim. I'm booored. I never thought I'd say this but I actually wish I had some papers to grade or something."
Jim looked over at his fidgety partner. It was the second week of December and Rainer University was on its winter holiday break. The campus was closed until after New Year's Day. Consequently this was now the first stakeout Sandburg had accompanied him on that he didn't have a stack of papers to grade or a lecture to plan or some type of school-related activity that he usually worked on while helping him use his senses to watch the subject de jour. Even though they had only been working together for a few months now and had only been on a few stakeouts, he found that he enjoyed the company. It made the time go faster to have someone to talk to. Until tonight. Tonight he was fast finding out that a bored Sandburg was not a joy to be with, especially stuck in an enclosed truck for several hours.
"Trust me, Sandburg, I'm not exactly having the time of my life here either, but one of the buildings in this area is most likely the arsonists' next target. I'm sure the other teams are having just as much fun as we are, but it's all part of police work. It's not all shootouts and car chases. Despite what you see on TV, routine police work is how most criminals are caught. Sorry it's not exciting enough for you." Truth be told he was pretty bored himself, not that he'd ever admit it to his whiney partner.
Blair turned from looking out the windshield. Even with an almost full moon and a few sporadic lights, most of the buildings the stakeout teams were watching were in shadows; he really couldn't see much. No one with normal sight could. But that's why he was here, to help Jim use his senses to locate the arsonists if they should turn up anywhere in the area. This was a run-down industrial park taking up several square blocks; the prevailing theory was that these buildings were being torched to devalue the property even more. That would clear the way to get the zoning codes changed, making it easier to sell the land to developers. So far no one had been hurt in the four fires already set but it was only a matter of time. The closer to town the buildings were, the more likely that some homeless people or temporary squatters would be living in them. The buildings being watched tonight were on the edge of the industrial park. "No, I'm sorry, Jim. I know this is important. I guess I'm just not used to having to sit in one place for so long without doing anything. Maybe next time I'll bring my laptop." He straightened up. "How about doing a sensory sweep? See if you see or hear anything out of place."
He sounded so hopeful Jim didn't have the heart to disappoint him. "Okay. Talk me through it."
Blair's mood immediately improved as he pumped his fist in front of his chest. "All right." Then he lowered his voice to the deeper, authoritative tone he used when he was directing Jim in the use of his senses. "Do hearing first. First listen to everything, then mentally discard anything that would be normal for this area. If you hear anything unusual then we'll piggyback sight onto hearing and see what we find."
It sounded simple enough but Jim had already learned how much easier these things were when Sandburg was there to talk to him. When he tried anything more than just basic sight or hearing by himself he usually either ended up zoning or with a headache for his trouble. Blair kept telling him it was just a matter of time before he could control his senses by himself, it would just take practice, but he was beginning to suspect that it was Sandburg himself that was actually making the difference. He hadn't mentioned his theory to Blair or his captain yet.
Confident, he reached out his hearing. Simon and Henri were discussing the Seahawks season so far. In the nearby patrol car, which was their additional backup, Murphy and his partner were wondering what to get their wives for Christmas. Other than those, it was quiet, no other sounds attracted his attention. Reining in his hearing he told Blair what he had heard.
"That's all right. It's early yet. That was a good practice sweep, though." Blair patted Jim on the shoulder. "You're getting really good, Jim. I can't wait to test you against your original baseline again. I'll bet your range is even farther now than last time." He sounded proud, as if he were the one with the enhanced senses.
Sandburg and his tests. He hated them but he had agreed to ongoing testing since Blair needed the info for the dissertation and had also said that doing them would help him in gaining better control. But that didn't mean he had to like them. "Yeah, sure. Whatever."
"Gee, Ellison. Could ya turn down your enthusiasm a little? It's hard to deal with all that excitement in here."
Jim turned his head, expecting to see a pissed off Sandburg but damned if the kid wasn't grinning at him. He couldn't help but shrug and grin back. "Sorry. Just not my favorite part of dealing with all this."
"Tell me about it."
After a few minutes of silence Blair was getting antsy again. Sitting still just wasn't in his nature. He needed something to occupy his mind before he did something to annoy Jim again. Looking around outside the truck he noticed that some of the still occupied warehouses had put up some Christmas decorations. They looked out of place among the dismal, depressed surroundings but it was a nice gesture anyway. A-ha! Christmas. Just the thing to kill time since they were stuck together anyway.
"Hey, Jim."
"Hey, what?"
"Very funny. I was thinkingâ€""
"Uh-oh."
"You're just a laugh a minute here tonight, aren't you? Anyway, I was thinking. You've probably had a lot of Christmases, what with you being so much older than me and all." He ducked as a hand just missed the back of his head.
"Watch it, Junior. I'm not that much older. And I can still take you without breaking a sweat."
Blair just waved his hand. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. As I was saying, you've had a lot of Christmases. So tell me, what are the best and worst Christmases that you've had so far?"
Jim stared at his younger partner. Did he really expect him to answer that? "That's getting rather personal, don't you think? What's that got to do with my being a sentinel? I don't want any personal stuff about me ending up in your dissertation."
"Jiim." The voice that replied sounded pained. "This has nothing to do with you being a sentinel. And I wouldn't put anything about you in the dissertation that wasn't somehow directly related to your senses. This is just me asking you about your past Christmases. You know, two friâ€" guys hanging out. Talking. Shooting the breeze. But if you don't want to tell me, that's all right, I understand. I guess I shouldn't have pried." Blair turned and looked out the passenger window so Jim wouldn't see how hurt he was that he had immediately thought that he was only interested in Jim the Sentinel. Besides killing some time, he was hoping to get a rare glimpse of Jim the Man. Good thing he had stopped himself before he implied that they were friends. That could have really been embarrassing. Even if he thought they were.
It didn't take sentinel senses to hear the hurt in Blair's voice or to see it in the face reflected in the window. Once again he had immediately jumped to conclusions and assumed the worst. And now he had Blair doubting if they were even friends. It startled him a bit to realize that seeing Blair hurt and not sure about their non-sentinel related relationship bothered him.
"Okay."
Blair turned back around. "Okay what?"
"Okay I'll tell you about my best and worst Christmas. Like you said, this is just two guys talking, killing time, right?"
The smile he got in return was hesitant but sincere. "Yeah. Sure. Cool. Umm, tell me your worst one. Let's do that one first."
Jim tilted his head back and tapped his finger against his lips. "Let's see. It was probably the one back when Carolyn and I were first married. She had invited all her relatives over to the loft for Christmas dinner. Went all out decorating the place. She really wanted everything to be perfect. You see, she came from money, her parents had a big, beautiful home and I think she was a bit embarrassed about her family seeing her living in such a small place. That may be why she overestimated the size of the loft. Imagine way too many dressed up people in way too small a space. There was barely room to move around and not enough places to sit. Then, to top it off, she burned dinner and ended up setting off the smoke alarm. Smoked us all right out of the place. Her father ended up using a few connections and finally got us in at his country club for dinner." Jim chuckled. "Knowing Carolyn's cooking skills as well as I do, we were probably better off there anyway. After dinner everyone else went home and she and I spent the rest of the night cleaning up the mess. It was the last time she suggested having anyone over for the holidays and a long time before we had anyone over at all." He turned towards Blair and lifted a warning finger. "I wouldn't ever mention that Christmas to Carolyn if I were you. I still don't ever bring it up."
Blair grinned. "Gotcha. Don't talk about disastrous Christmases with the ex. So, that was the worst?"
Jim looked pensive. "Uh, yeah." Actually his real worst Christmas was the one when he was eight years old. The first one after his mother left. His father had insisted that they put up the tree and decorations, same as every other year. Stevie was only four and so didn't fully understand where their mother had gone. The memories came flooding back. Dad coped by burying himself in his work, even when at home, and Sally had just recently been hired, so that left only him to make sure Stevie had a good Christmas. He took that responsibility very seriously, doing the best he could at such a young age. He helped Stevie write his letter to Santa. Talked Sally into taking them to the mall so his brother could talk to the 'real' Santa Claus. Let him put the star on the tree. Played in the snow with him. Let him watch whatever Christmas shows he wanted. Basically did whatever he could to make sure Stevie was happy. Of course that left no one to help get him through that first, awful Christmas season. No one to take care of him when he cried, all alone, late at night. Whenever he thought about that particular Christmas it was always with a mixture of pride and sadness. Pride for how he took care of his little brother and sadness for the young boy who desperately missed his mother but had no one to turn to for comfort.
Jim knew this was probably the type of story Sandburg really wanted to hear about, but since he hadn't told Blair anything about his family there was no way he could talk about that particular experience. Maybe someday.
Blair felt that he was missing something important but decided not to push it right now. "Okay then. If that was the worst then now it's time to hear about your best. Lay it on me, man." He sat back hoping to finally hear something about Jim's childhood and family. Probably the year he got what he really wanted, like a puppy or something.
"Well." Jim sat back too, looking thoughtful. "I'd say my best Christmas was soon after I joined the Army. Before the Rangers and Covert Ops. My unit was assigned to this really remote area in a third world country. We were all pretty bummed out about being stuck out there for Christmas. Most of us were fairly youngâ€"for some it was their first Christmas away from home. Anyway, there wasn't much going on at the time so some of the guys would get a jeep and go exploring, just to see what was around. There wasn't much. The nearest town to our base was almost an hour away and it wasn't very big. Boredom was a real problem. Then one day the guys came across an orphanage stuck out in the middle of nowhere. It was run by a few overworked priests and nuns. These were kids whose parents had been killed either by enemy bombs or, some, even by their own countrymen. Many of the kids themselves had been injured, some permanently. The building looked like an old bombed out military bunker that they had taken over. It was practically falling apart. There wasn't even any running water, they had to carry water in buckets from a nearby natural well."
He turned towards Blair with a small smile. "I guess you can figure out where this is going, can't you? It was just what a bunch of bored, homesick G.I.s needed. We basically adopted the place. Almost all of our free time was spent fixing it up. We didn't have much in the way of building supplies but we made do with what we could scrounge up from around the base. One of the guys, Sanchez, I think, even figured out how to rig up a crude plumbing system to get water from the well to the building. We let the kids help as much as they were able. Even with the language barrier they loved it. They became all the little brothers and sisters we'd left behind. Fortunately most of the priests and nuns spoke some English since they all had to get their religious training out of country, so it wasn't too bad."
Blair was relieved to see some of the tension Jim had been carrying around since they had been given the arsonist case start to ebb away as he remembered a happier time. "So what was Christmas like?"
Jim laughed. "Unorthodox, to say the least. We found this scrawny bush and brought it inside. The nuns had the kids make decorations out of whatever they could find. Of course we added a few G.I. touches ourselves. I don't think the kids ever really grasped the idea of why we wanted the bush inside the building and wanted to decorate it but they were having fun coming up with things to hang on it and that's what really mattered. It was a very..." Jim paused, looking for the right word, "a very multi-cultural tree by the time it was finished. Besides what the kids made, most of the guys were getting Christmas packages from home so we'd take the bows from the presents and cut out pictures from the wrapping paper and hang them on the tree. One guy was Jewish and got gifts wrapped in Chanukah paper so we had pictures of Stars of David and menorahs on it too. We shaped some wire into a star and covered it with tin foil from the Mess Hall to put on top. We were prouder of that mangy old bush than any 10 foot pine covered with fancy store bought ornaments.
"Everybody also made a point to hold back some of the goodies their families sent them so that by Christmas we had a good-sized stash to bring to the kids. We also talked the Mess Sergeant out of some powdered milk and fruit. On Christmas Day we arrived just after lunch. The nuns made up the milk and we passed out our surprises."
Jim's eyes got a faraway look as he reminisced. "We gave each child a piece of fruit, a few cookies and some candyâ€"the rest we gave to the nuns to distribute later. It was hard for some of us to imagine that these kids had never tasted a cookie or a piece of candy before. I thought that some of their eyes were going to bug right out of their heads. We didn't think it was very much but the kids kept hugging us, the priests kept thanking us and I think most of the nuns were crying. We stayed there the rest of the day just playing with the kids. We ate dinner with them and even then they wouldn't let us leave until it was their bedtime. By the time we got back we'd missed Christmas dinner but none of us cared.
"The best part of all is when our C.O. found out why we had all missed dinner and what we'd been doing for the past few weeks, he contacted some other higher ups and arranged for a weekly delivery of food, milk, medical supplies and whatever else he thought they could use. More people joined us and with the new supplies we soon had the building looking almost as good as new. The kids were all wearing brand new Army green T-shirts, most were too big of course, but every one of them wore one."
The light blue eyes got a bit misty. "About a month or so later we were shipped out. Our last day out there everyone was pretty emotional. Someone brought a camera and was taking pictures. The kids cried and grabbed our legs. It wasn't so much the stuff we had brought them; I think that they were just so thrilled that we had spent so much time with them. Most of them had lost their entire family. Even though our replacements had promised to take up where we left off, it was still hard to leave. My last image of them is as we were driving away for the last time. Everyone, the nuns, priests and all the kids stood in front of the orphanage and waved until we couldn't see them anymore."
Jim scrubbed his face with his hand. "Wow. I haven't thought about that in years. No big tree or fancy food. No real presents. Just a bunch of homesick guys and some kids who didn't even speak the same language. But that was still the best Christmas I can remember. I used to wonder what happened to everyone there after we left." He turned towards his partner. "Thanks, Chief."
Blair looked puzzled. "For what?"
"For helping me remember that sometimes it doesn't take much to make a difference."
Looking a little embarrassed Blair suggested another sensory sweep of the area. After confirming that everything was still quiet Jim turned to Blair with a gleam in his eye.
"So, now that we have some more time, turnabout is fair play. What were your best and worst Christmases?" Having heard a bit from his partner about his unusual upbringing he figured that Blair's stories would be even better than his. When Blair seemed to hesitate he urged him on. "C'mon, Sandburg. I told you mine, you have to tell me yours."
Blair knew that if he reneged on this it would be a long time before Jim opened up to him again. He rubbed his hand over this mouth. "Yeah, you're right. Okay." Leaning his head back against the seat he clasped his hands in his lap. "My best Christmas was when I was around eight. Naomi and I were living in a room in one of those 'rent rooms by the week' places. Mom had a job waiting in another town but it didn't start until after New Year's, so we were kind of stuck there. She got a temporary job in a department store for the Christmas season. It wasn't too bad except for being alone while she was at work." He quickly looked over at Jim, knowing what the detective was thinking. "She somehow managed to get a strictly day shift schedule so I wasn't alone at night.
"Anyway, she made friends with one of her co-workers and somehow it came out where we were living. Annie was horrified. She and her husband Terry decided that Mom and I were going to stay with them and their two children until it was time for Mom to leave for her new job. They had a really nice house and we stayed in their guest room. It even had its own bathroom, no more sharing the one down the hall with everyone else on our floor." Blair smiled. "I think that was the main reason Mom agreed to stay with themâ€"she really hated sharing that bathroom."
Settling back Blair continued. "Like I said, they had two kids. Tina was 13 and Todd was 15. School was out for the holidays so I stayed home with them while the grown-ups were at work. They treated me like a little brother. They even had a dog, a lab named Rusty. He was almost as big as I was so at first I was scared of him, but he was just a big baby. Sometimes I'd play with him or we'd watch TV, but what I really liked best was the big bookcase filled with books. I was allowed to read anything I wanted. At night we all ate dinner together. It was like being part of a regular family."
Jim couldn't help but frown a bit at the awe in Blair's voice at doing the everyday things that most people took for granted.
"Of course, they were really into Christmas. The house was decorated inside and out. And they had this big, beautiful tree. A real tree, too, not a fake. It was the tree that made me realize that I didn't have any way to get anyone any presents to put under it. I guess I got kind of depressed because Terry took me aside one day and asked me what was wrong. When I told him he said I could do odd jobs around the house for moneyâ€"like feeding and walking Rusty, taking out the trash, things like that. He kept a tally of the money I earned and on the weekend before Christmas he took me shopping. It was just to Wal-Mart but the best part was that it was just him and me. I found this beautiful scarf for Naomi and got something for everyone, even a toy for Rusty, just from me. I know now that the amount of money I earned couldn't possibly have covered everything I had picked out but Terry never said a word, just told me that I had made good choices. I was so proudâ€"buying presents with money I had earned myself. Afterwards we stopped at McDonalds to eat. For the first time I didn't envy the other kids I saw there with their Dads. When we got home I wrapped the presents myself, putting a really big 'From Blair' on each one, then put them under the tree. I couldn't wait till Christmas so everyone could open them and see what I got them."
Blair let out a deep breath, his eyes slightly glazed, obviously caught up in his own memories. Jim listened, suddenly getting a clearer understanding of what Blair's childhood must have been like.
"On Christmas Eve a new stocking with a big letter 'B' on it suddenly appeared on the mantle. Annie said since no one else's name started with a B it must be for me. I was shocked. I'd never had a Christmas stocking before. Just before bedtime, mine anyway, Terry read 'Twas The Night Before Christmas'. I was so excited about watching everyone open the presents I had bought I could hardly sleep.
"Finally, it was Christmas morning. I couldn't believe all the presents under the tree. Santa Claus really had come for the Cahills. When everyone was finally up and sitting around the living room I dug through the pile until I found the ones I had put there and carefully handed them out telling each person "This is from me!"
I thought I was going to burst from excitement as each person opened theirs. Naomi got tears in her eyes when she saw the scarf. I was nervous about that until she hugged me and told me she loved it. After all the appropriate oooing and aahing and thanks yous over the gifts I crawled into Naomi's lap to watch the others get the rest of the presents. As far as I was concerned, my part of Christmas was over."
Blair smiled and shook his head. "I should have known better. After handing out a few presents Annie picked one up and read the nametag, "Blair." Mom had to push me out her lap I was so stunned. Besides a full stocking I ended up with a nice pile of gifts. One from each of the Cahills and a few from Mom. Terry gave me my first backpack so I could carry all my special stuff around myself." Blair laughed. "And a tradition was born." Jim joined in as they both looked at the leather pack sitting at Blair's feet.
"After breakfast everyone, except Naomi, went to church. She didn't feel right going herself, but she never stopped me from experiencing new things. I loved it. The candles and decorations and the singing and everybody smiling and being nice to each other. It was really nice. That night we had a traditional Christmas dinner. A glazed ham with all the fixings. Like a lot of people they did turkey at Thanksgiving and ham at Christmas. For dessert we had apple and pecan pie with ice cream. I ate until I thought I would burst." Shaking his finger at his partner he said, "Don't say anything. I was only eight years old at the time. Besides, who was I to defy tradition?" Turning back towards the front again a soft sigh escaped. "I really wanted to stay with them. For the first time I really saw what being part of a family was like and I liked it."
Jim couldn't miss the wistful tone of voice. He found himself aching for the little boy who just wanted to be part of a family. "So what happened?"
"The usual. We moved on. We did stay with them until after New Year's. I remember staying up late and banging on a pot with a spoon at midnight and having a good time." Another sigh issued forth then Blair shrugged and sat up straight. "I guess as far as most people are concerned that wasn't much different than any other Christmas. Pretty typical really." He grinned at his partner. "Not like saving an orphanage or anything." Behind the grin Jim could see a hint of sadness in the shadowed blue eyes.
Another sensory sweep showed nothing happening yet. After checking in with Simon it was decided to wait one more hour, if nothing happened they'd call it a night and try again tomorrow. Trying to lighten the mood a bit and hoping for a disastrous but humorous story, Jim asked, "So, what was your worst Christmas?"
Blair squirmed but didn't answer. Thinking this must be a really good story, Jim prodded his reluctant partner. "C'mon, Chief. I told you mine, now you tell me yours."
Blair stilled and looked out the side window. "Well, actually, Jim, that was my only Christmas. We moved right after that because of Mom's new job. Then we just kept moving. Naomi wasn't really into Christmas too much. Part of it was probably because she was raised in a traditional Jewish family. Even though she wasn't real religious herself I think she still didn't want me to lose sight of where I came from. You know, like making sure I had a Bar Mitzvah when I was 13. But I also think it was because she really hated the commercialism of the season. She always said that we didn't need to get caught up in all the hoopla and hype. And frankly, I think the guys she hooked up with were relieved not to have to buy presents or do anything for the holidays. None of them ever pushed it. I know most guys hate all the decorating and stuff."
Jim cringed at that last remark even though he didn't think Blair deliberately aimed it at him. Blair had mentioned getting a tree and decorating the loft a little but he had vetoed that suggestion, saying he didn't want all the bother and mess. His new roommate hadn't pushed it but it did explain why Blair had kept his small menorah in his room; he probably figured that he might also object to that, too.
"By the time I got to Rainier and was on my own I was pretty busy. During the Christmas break I usually take extra session classes. Since I'd never done Christmas before there wasn't any reason to bother with it now. So you see, Jim, it really worked out for the best. Since I've only had one Christmas, and it was a great one, I've never actually had a 'worst' one."
Or the chance to have another one for comparison. Before he could voice his thoughts Jim thought he spotted something moving near the building.
"Heads up, Chief. I think we've got something here."
All thoughts of Christmas gone, Blair stared out into the darkness, not seeing anything. "Where? What'd you see?"
"Someone's sneaking around the far side of that concrete building over there. Call it in while I go check it out." He gave his partner a hard look. "Stay here. You'll need to let backup know where to go."
Holding up his arms in submission, Blair agreed. "Hey, no problem, man. My I. D. tag says 'observer' not 'junior G-Man'. You go find the bad guys; I'll tell the cavalry where to find you." It was his turn to look serious. "But, Jim." He waited until the detective was looking at him. "Be careful. Just find them. Don't do anything until backup shows up, okay? And don't overuse your senses. This is no place to zone. Maybe I should come with you." He had one hand on the door handle ready to open it and join his sentinel.
"No way, Chief. Just stay here. I'm just going to see where they went. I'll wait for backupâ€"that is, if you ever call them."
He held up Jim's cell phone. "I'm on it. Just be careful, okay?"
It was a strange feeling to have someone worry about him. He couldn't help the small smile as he softly answered. "Okay."
Blair watched as his partner disappeared into the darkness. Using speed dial he contacted Captain Banks and told him what Jim had seen. The Major Crime commander promised that he and backup would be there soon, the building they were watching wasn't too far away. Duty done, Blair leaned back to wait. A large part of him was itching to follow Jim. The feeling that he should be with him had been growing stronger each time he watched the detective leave to go into another potentially dangerous situation. The more he learned about Jim's senses the more he also realized how vulnerable they made him. Bright lights or a sudden loud noise could incapacitate him instantly. Plus there was always the danger of him zoning at the wrong time. He knew as an untrained, unarmed observer he was technically useless as far as actual police work was concerned, but as the only person who understood how a sentinel worked, he felt he needed to be more involved when Jim was doing something like following bad guys in the dark. But for now all he could do was wait.
As promised, Captain Banks soon arrived. Blair wasn't sure where he stood with Jim's boss. Sometimes he seemed to accept that Blair was necessary to Jim's being able to use his newfound senses but other times it seemed like he thought he was just a nuisance to be endured until Jim could function without him. Unfortunately he was beginning to think that helping Jim gain control was going to take a lot longer than either one of them had originally thought. But that wasn't something he was going to bring up to the large, intimidating man standing in front of him any time soon. After filling in the captain on Jim's whereabouts, he watched as he and the other police officers took off in the same direction his partner had recently taken.
After a few minutes he began to feel uneasy. Sitting alone, not knowing what was going on, was grating on his nerves. Getting out of the vehicle he began to pace beside it. He had no intention of going after Jim and the others but the waiting was driving him crazy. A sudden movement off to his left caught his attention.
It couldn't be Jim; they had gone in the other direction. Peering into the darkness he tried to see what it could have been. He'd be really embarrassed if he raised the alarm over a stray cat. There. The shape was much too big for a cat. As the shadow moved out into the open there was enough moonlight for Blair to make out the definite shape of a man. Damn. There were two arsonists. Just before the figure entered the dilapidated brick building, Blair could see that he was carrying some kind of bag in his hand. Now what should he do? Jim was over at the other building following the other suspect. This man looked like he was getting ready to set another fire and that was probably his equipment he was carrying. If Blair used Jim's cell phone he might give Jim and Captain Banks away to this man's partner. After standing in indecision for a few minutes, Blair decided to keep an eye on his guy and risk calling if it looked like he was definitely up to something.
Mind made up, he cautiously crept towards the building. By then the man had been in there for several minutes, more than enough time to set up another arson fire. Just as Blair reached the door, it suddenly swung open. He couldn't move back fast enough. The suspect came barreling out and knocked him to the ground. Getting up he turned in the same direction as the fleeing arsonist. As he pulled out the cell phone, he heard Jim's voice coming at him from off to the left. Both Jim and Captain Banks were yelling and waving their arms. Blair pointed to where the now long-gone suspect had been heading and starting turning towards his partner.
From the building behind him came a sudden, deafening roar. A second later his entire back seemed to explode with pain. He found himself being hurled across the open space between where he had been standing and Jim's truck. His forward momentum was abruptly halted when he slammed against something hard and unyielding. He was vaguely aware that he was now lying on the ground. Not that it mattered. All that mattered was the incredible agony that seemed to emanate from every cell in his body. Everything hurt. On top of the overall misery, his head was pounding, his arm throbbed and there was a searing pain in his leg that wouldn't quit. He was distantly aware of running feet but they barely registered through the red haze of pain that had become his whole world. Hands were touching him, turning him and he heard himself groan at the added pain they caused. He dimly heard voices from somewhere up above. Although he felt that he should do something, he decided that the approaching darkness seemed to offer more comfort. When it finally reached him he didn't offer any resistance and let it enfold him in its mercifully pain free embrace.
Jim stared in horror as he watched the events unfold. He and Simon had caught their suspect and, after some 'coaxing', he admitted that he was a decoy and that his partner was actually setting the fire in the next building over. The building near where he had parked his truck and left Sandburg, alone. They left the perp with Henri and took off. Then... Wham! Everything seemed to happen at once. Jim saw Sandburg heading for the building's door. Before he could call out, the door flew open and the other arsonist ran out, knocking Blair down. Thankfully he got right up and turned away from the building. He was moving but not fast enough. If the arsonist was running that meant that the incendiary device must have a very short fuse.
Jim and Simon were both yelling and waving, trying to get Blair to move away from the building even faster. Unfortunately it had the opposite effect. Blair pointed then slowed down to turn towards them. At that moment the warehouse went up. Jim froze, unable to move as Blair was thrown across the asphalt, right into the side of his truck. Even though they were far enough away to escape the blast, they both had to duck when debris began raining down all around them. By the time Jim reached him, his partner was an unmoving, crumpled heap on the ground. Carefully turning him onto his back, Jim cringed at the moan of pain his touch elicited. But he had to check out Blair's injuries. The first thing Jim saw was a long, narrow piece of wood protruding from the front of Blair's left thigh. It had gone straight in, no telling how deep it was. Holding back a curse he gently ran his hands over the battered body, trying to assess any other damage. Even though he knew Blair was at least semi-conscious, there was no response when he called his name. A few minutes later Blair let out a small sigh and went totally limp. Jim focused on the unsteady heartbeat.
"Jim!" Simon's alarmed voice filtered through. "Jim! What's going on?"
Giving his head a small shake and blinking his eyes Jim shook off the last effects of the near zone. How many times had Sandburg warned him not to focus on just one sense? Simon was hitting his shoulder. "Dammit, Jim. Answer me."
Keeping his eyes and hands on his injured partner, Jim reassured his captain, "I'm all right, Simon."
The relief was audible. "Good. Now, how's Sandburg?"
"Besides the piece of wood in his leg, he's got some badly cracked ribs, a broken arm and a head injury, probably with a concussion of some degree. I'm not sure but I think he may also have some internal injuries, too. He was semi-conscious at first but now he's out cold. Can you call it in, sir? Blair had my cell phone."
Simon patted him on the back as he stood up. The cold, mechanical voice that reported Sandburg's condition only meant that Jim was suppressing his emotions. It was probably best for now. "Stay with him. I'll be right back." Walking away, he pulled out his cell phone as he surveyed the damage all around him. Even though the building was burning, Jim had parked far enough away that they weren't in any danger. In the morning the Arson Squad would have another burned out hulk to go through. There was debris littered everywhere, a testament to the force of the explosion. He called Dispatch and had them contact the Fire Department and EMS. He also put out an APB for the escaped arsonist, based on the arrested partner's information. He wanted to be sure he was picked up before Ellison went looking for him. Returning to his men he knelt down behind and to the side of his detective. "Help's on the way. How's he doing?"
Jim had one hand wrapped around Blair's wrist on his uninjured right arm, monitoring the pulse beneath his fingers. His other hand was keeping the curly hair away from a large, nasty looking cut on the observer's forehead above his left eye. A steady stream of red had already run down the side of the pale face.
"Not too good. His pulse is weak and thready. He might be going into shock. Breathing is labored. I'd like to sit him up some, so he can breathe easier, but I don't want to move him because of his ribs and possible internal injuries. How long until the ambulance gets here?" However long it was, it wasn't soon enough.
"It shouldn't be long now, Jim." He paused for a minute. "How do you know exactly what kind of injuries Sandburg has? I mean besides his leg, that's pretty obvious. Don't tell me you can sense them somehow." This sentinel stuff just got too weird for him sometimes.
Jim nodded. "I can feel them. The Army medic training helps but things like cracked or broken bones are real obvious now. Blair had me practice with sticks covered with a heavy cloth. Said it might be useful some day." Looking up he continued. "I can take a pulse just by shaking hands with someone and gauge a fever level by touch. He even had a doctor friend of his let me listen to different lung conditions so I'd recognize them when I heard them. The internal stuff is harder."
Simon shook his head. TMI. He looked down again at his injured man, wishing there were something more he could do. Sandburg certainly never signed on for something like this when he asked to ride along with Jim. If Jim hadn't already told him how much he needed the kid around, he would pull his credentials right now. Instead he would just wait and see how Sandburg felt about staying on after he recovered.
A moment later Jim tilted his head. "I can hear sirens. They're just a few blocks away." It was another minute or so before Simon heard them too. Soon the scene was swarming with fire fighters, police and EMS crews. Jim reluctantly moved away from Blair to let the medical crew get him ready for transport. He arranged with Simon to have his car driven to the hospital so he could ride with Blair. As Simon watched the ambulance pull away, he wondered once again about the unusual relationship that had developed between two such different men. Then he turned his full attention back to the chaos behind him.
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When Simon finally arrived at the ER, a quick flash of his badge soon had him heading towards the cubicle the nurse had told him his two men were in. He found Jim sitting in a chair beside a large empty space where the exam bed would usually be. Sandburg's cut off clothing was on the floor. Jim not reacting to his coming in was not good either. "Jim?"
At the sound Jim turned around and wearily nodded a greeting to his captain. His face told Simon that things were not going well.
"Where's Sandburg? What did the doctors say?"
Jim scrubbed a hand down his face before answering. "They took him to X-ray. The doctors have to see exactly how the wood is positioned in his leg before they'll even attempt to remove it. Plus he needs his arm and chest X-rayed and they're worried about a possible skull fracture so they want pictures of that too. He's been gone for a while and probably won't be back for another while yet."
"Jesus. Did they mention any other injuries?"
"They put in a catheter and his urine output was good with no blood present so they don't think his kidneys were damaged. Hopefully that means his other organs might not be injured either. They'll know more when the lab tests come back."
"Then we have time. Come on."
"Time for what? Go where?" Did he miss a part of their conversation somewhere?
"Well, I'd rather you go home and get some rest but I doubt if that's going to happen so I'll settle for the next best thingâ€"going down to the cafeteria for some food and a lot of coffee." He raised his hand to stop the coming protests. "You said yourself it'll probably be a while before he's finished. We'll stop at the nurse's station and tell them to page you if Sandburg comes back or if there's any news." He softened his tone. "You need to eat, Jim. Keep up your own strength so you can help Blair."
If there was a flaw in that logic, Jim was too tired to see it. The hours on the stakeout followed by the emotional shock of what had happened had left him drained. So, much to Simon's surprise, Jim agreed without an argument. After a brief stop to tell the nurses where they'd be, the two men made their way down to the basement cafeteria. At four in the morning there were only a few 3rd shift hospital employees there, so it only took a few minutes to get their food and find a table. Once they started eating both men realized that it had been several hours since they'd last eaten and they dug into their food. It wasn't until they were both almost finished that any conversation was started.
"Not bad for cafeteria food."
Jim just nodded and sipped his coffee. His mind wasn't on his food. He wanted to listen and see if he could hear his partner but as tired as he was and without Sandburg's help he didn't dare try it.
"I'm sure he'll be all right. They would have paged if there was a problem."
"I know. I'll just feel better when all the tests are done and we know what we're facing."
Simon didn't miss the use of the word 'we'. Ever since Jim had first seen the rattrap Sandburg lived in he had voiced his concerns about his new partner's welfare. Although he tried to hide it under a gruff exterior, he had actually seemed relieved when Sandburg had to move in with him at the beginning of last month. Rhonda had even commented the other day that Blair looked like he had put on a few badly needed pounds since the move. No wonder Ellison seemed so shook up. He had quietly taken the kid under his wing. Now another explosion had just rocked their world, this one with much worse consequences. He shook his head; what was it with these two and trouble? "You ready to go back upstairs? Maybe the doctors can tell us more about his condition by now."
Tossing his paper napkin onto his tray Jim stood up. "Yeah. Let's go."
After dumping their trash and putting up their trays, the two men headed back to the ER, both hoping for good news. The still-empty bed space was a disappointment. Finding a second chair for Simon, both men settled down to wait.
Approximately 20 minutes later the curtain was pulled aside and two techs wheeled an unconscious Sandburg back in. After positioning the bed and re-hooking up the monitors, they assured Jim that a doctor would be in after reading the X-rays. They then left their patient alone with his visitors.
There was no way Simon could keep from staring at the unusually still form on the bed. The large head wound, held together by several butterfly bandages, had spectacular bruising all around it. Sandburg's face was pale, making the dark circles under the eyes stand out even more. A nasal cannula fed oxygen into his nostrils. The left arm was wearing a temporary cast. Even though there was a sheet covering Blair's lower body, it couldn't hide the spike protruding from his left thigh. It wasn't as long as it had been, someone had apparently cut off most of the wood's original length, but just knowing what was under there was upsetting enough.
Jim wasted no time. As soon as the techs left he was standing at Blair's right side, once again wrapping his fingers around the thin wrist. His other hand rested on the top of his roommate's head, unconsciously starting a comforting stroking motion. He leaned down until his face was near Blair's and spoke softly.
"Hey, Chief. You're going to be all right. You just rest and take it easy and you'll be home before you know it." Never taking his hand off Sandburg's wrist, Jim hooked the nearest chair with his foot then sat and waited, his whole demeanor becoming a lot calmer since his friend had been returned to the room.
Blair's other visitor silently watched the interaction between his detective and his observer. Ellison wasn't exactly known as a cold hearted bastard, in fact he was liked well enough by his fellow officers, but this type of emotional display wasn't something anyone expected to see from him. Jim tended to maintain a very professional persona while on the job. Even off the clock he was friendly and sociable but not overly so. Many people would be surprised to see him reacting this way, especially with someone he hadn't known all that long. The more Simon watched the two of them together, the more he was impressed by how 'big brotherishly' Jim acted towards Sandburg. Simon's musings were interrupted by the arrival of the doctor. He and Jim both stood up and faced the person they'd been waiting to talk to.
When the doctor entered the cubicle, he found himself under the intense scrutiny of two men rather than just the one he had dealt with earlier. Nonplussed, he addressed the newcomer.
"I'm Dr. Walker, I've been treating Mr. Sandburg here in the ER. And you are?"
"Captain Simon Banks, Cascade PD. Det. Ellison is one of my men and Blair Sandburg is an observer in my unit assigned to him. I consider him one of my men, too. So, what can you tell us about his condition?"
Both the doctor and Simon missed the slight raising of Jim's eyebrows at his boss' comments concerning Blair's position in his department. The ER physician silently commented on Simon's words. Straight and to the point, just like his detective. Good. People like this are usually easier to deal with than the more emotional types. Out loud he addressed the captain's question.
"Well, Captain, and Detective, I've been studying Mr. Sandburg's X-rays. The arm isn't too bad; it was a clean break of the ulna, one of the two bones in the forearm. We'll set and cast it and it should heal up just fine. He has some cracked ribs that will be painful and make taking a deep breath or some movements difficult for a while but they should also heal without too much difficulty."
He looked at the two men before continuing. "The other two injuries are more serious. I'm very concerned about some internal swelling behind the site of the head wound. When the body is injured, fluid rushes in to cushion the damaged area. That's how you get swelling. Unfortunately, however, unlike other areas of the body, the brain is totally enclosed by bone. That leaves very little room for expansion. When the brain swells, it pushes the damaged area against the skull, which can kill off brain cells. We've already given Mr. Sandburg a drug called Mannitol. I won't go into any great detail except to tell you it's a one shot dose given through his IV that has been proven very effective in drawing out excess fluid and reducing swelling in the brain. If this doesn't work, although I have every reason to believe it will, we'll have to go in and relieve the pressure manually. For now we'll continue to monitor him closely and see how it goes." He paused before delivering the other news that the two men were anxious to hear about.
"As for his leg, that's a bit more complicated. It seems that the wood didn't enter the leg from the front as we first thought, but actually from the rear and was driven all the way through. There's about a one and a half inch section protruding from the posterior side of his thigh as well as the section in the anterior, or front half. Fortunately, it missed both the femur and the femoral artery completely but we won't know the full extent of the damage until we can get in there and see what's what. Naturally we want to remove it as soon as possible, but I'm leery about his having surgery right now with that head injury. So for the present we're treating him with full spectrum antibiotics to ward off infection and we're going to keep him sedated so the swelling I mentioned can go down faster and he won't be as likely to move the leg. People with head injuries tend to get agitated and thrash around quite a bit. That, of course, is the last thing we want to happen. At this point I feel that a benzo based sedative is a safer risk than surgical anesthesia." He looked at each man. "Any questions about anything?"
"How long will he have to be sedated?" Jim wanted his partner awake as soon as possible.
"Just until we feel his overall condition improves enough to warrant risking surgery. Hopefully no more than a few days at most. This will actually be easier on him than having him awake and having to lie there with a piece of wood sticking through his leg. Anything else?"
"What about any internal injuries?"
"I almost forgot. Thank you, Captain, for reminding me. The lab results are back and they look good. I don't think he has any injury to his organs other than perhaps some deep bruising. It looks like he was caught more by the blast concussion, than the actual fireball itself. He was wearing several layers of clothing plus a fiber filled jacket that protected his back from the worst of shockwave. When he struck the vehicle, his arm apparently was across his chest like this." The doctor brought his left forearm across his own chest at an angle with his fingertips near his shoulder. "Hitting it like that broke his arm and cracked a few ribs but it also protected his torso from a direct impact. That kept him from more having more extensive internal damage. Considering the mechanism of injury, he could have been hurt a lot worse."
Simon looked again at the jumbled up pile of clothing on the floor, hoping that at least Blair's coat had been spared being cut. He wasn't sure if the grad student could afford to replace it.
"But even so, there's no way to avoid the fact that with his injuries, plus surgery, for the next several weeks he is going to be a very sore and miserable young man." He looked back and forth between Simon and Jim. "With his having both a leg and arm injury and cracked ribs, too, he's going to have a hard time getting around and being able to take care of himself once he's released. Does he have any family here or someone who's available to help him?"
"I am."
"Jim."
"No, Simon. I'll take vacation time if I have to. Blair got hurt trying to help me, actually, trying to help all of us. Besides, the other arsonist doesn't know we've already arrested his partner. That puts Blair in danger since he probably thinks that Blair is the only person who can identify him. The fire was already on the early morning news and somehow they were informed that a police observer was present at the time the fire was set. The man literally ran right into him. It wouldn't take much to find out Blair's identity. I'm not leaving him alone."
The taller man sighed. No point in fighting a battle you couldn't win. "All right, Jim. As of right now he's under protective custody." He turned back to the doctor. "There'll be a guard outside Sandburg's door 24 hours a day while he's here. Ellison will need total access to him at all times. How soon until he's moved to his permanent room? I'll need to set up the guard rotation schedule."
Dr. Walker paused, a bit thrown by the sudden turn of events. "Ortho will want to set his arm before he's moved. Since we're just going to monitor his head injury before operating I guess he can be transferred after his arm is set. But I will have to stabilize his leg before he's moved anywhere. I'm not sure yet which med floor he'll be sent to from here since he's not going straight into surgery. I can let Detective Ellison know as soon as I get his admissions' info."
Simon nodded. "That'll be fine." He turned to Jim. "I'm heading back to the station now to get everything set up. Call me with Sandburg's room number and when he's being transferred."
Knowing that his observer, now eyewitness, was in more than capable hands, Simon left to start putting the necessary police procedures in place. After another check on his patient, Dr. Walker left to contact Orthopedics to have them set Blair's arm and to arrange for his transfer from the ER to a medical floor.
As soon as his boss and the doctor left, Jim resumed his previous seat, determined to remain by his friend's side as long as there was the slightest risk to his safety. Blair was bringing out feelings in him he thought had died the day that Stevie said nothing and let him take the blame for the damage to their father's prized Cobra. He didn't understand why but he knew that he'd been developing a sense of responsibility for the quirky young man who had suddenly become such a large part of his life. Just as he had felt responsible for Stevie when they were growing up under their father's strict rules.
He found himself regretting not reassuring Blair about their friendship back at the stakeout when he had the chance. Now it would probably be several days, if not longer, before Blair would be able to hold any kind of conversation. Although he understood the reasoning behind keeping Blair sedated, he found himself getting irritated at the thought that he wouldn't be able to talk to him about anything for that long. Reaching out, he once again encircled the uninjured arm's wrist with his hand, careful of the IV tubing. It was amazing how much calmer he felt just from feeling the steady rhythm pulsing under his fingers.
As he watched his battered partner in his forced slumber, he marveled at how much his life had changed in such a short time. Just a few months ago he was a regular cop, solving crimes using nothing more than good old detective work. One stakeout alone in the woods and his whole life changed. Suddenly he had these super senses followed shortly thereafter by the arrival of someone he normally would have been shaking down for drugs, rather than turning to for help. Now, not only was that person helping him, he was living with him too. Jim shook his head. They do say that truth is stranger than fiction. And this, Chief, is about as strange as it gets. Just hurry up and get better so we can go back to driving Simon crazy with this sentinel stuff, okay? Getting comfortable, but never letting go of his charge, he settled in to begin his first night of self imposed guard duty.
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Five days later Jim was once again sitting beside his partner's bedside but now it was in anticipation instead of regret. After three days of waiting, Blair's surgeon had decided that it was safe enough to risk the surgery on his leg. That had happened yesterday morning. It had gone well and they were expecting him to wake up any time now. The deep gash on his forehead had been stitched and was covered by a large, white bandage. His casted arm was resting on a pillow beside him. Even the extra blankets weren't enough to hide the large, bulky bandages wrapped around Blair's left thigh. The nurses had gradually reduced the amount of sedatives he'd been receiving prior to the surgery so Blair could wake up naturally from the anesthesia.
The missing arsonist had been picked up three days after the explosion and the two former partners were now busy pointing fingers at each other and the people who had hired them, trying to cut deals for themselves. The D. A. was happy and the case was considered closed. That meant that Jim could now relax and concentrate on helping his friend recover from his injuries. Blair's new doctor had said that if everything went well he would try to release him in time to be home for Christmas, providing he had someone there to help him and wouldn't have to exert himself. Since the case was officially closed, Simon had agreed to give Jim some of his overdue vacation time, as long as he was available to come in should the D. A. have any more questions or to touch base with the detectives who were taking over his other cases. Now it was all up to Blair.
As if on cue, Jim felt a slight twitch of the hand under his. The electronic monitors confirmed what Jim could hear for himself; Blair's heart rate and breathing were slowly increasing, signaling his gradual return to consciousness. He leaned in closer, urging his friend to wake.
"Come on, Chief, you can do it. You've been asleep long enough."
His only answer was a long, low guttural sound and a small movement of Blair's head. Jim tried to be patient. He knew that after being sedated for three days and then put under anesthesia, not to mention the trauma of his injuries and surgery, waking up wasn't going to be easy. He hadn't realized how much he'd miss having Sandburg around. Or how important it'd become to see his eyes open again. He gave the warm hand a small squeeze. "That's it, Blair. Can you open your eyes for me?"
After what sounded like a groan the eyelids finally started to move. They slowly opened partway then closed again. Opening and closing again they finally managed to stay about three-fourths of the way open. Even though Blair was looking at him his eyes had a glazed look to them.
Lights on but nobody's home. "Hey, buddy. Welcome back. How you feeling?"
This time Blair managed to blink rapidly a few times. When his eyes remained open this time they were a lot clearer. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.
"Hold on. The nurse said your mouth and throat would probably be dry. I have some water right here. I'm going to raise up the head of your bed a little."
Letting go of Blair's hand he pushed the button on the guardrail and watched as the bed started to rise. Suddenly Blair gave a small intake of breath as his right hand grabbed the hospital gown over his chest. Jim immediately stopped the bed. "I'm sorry, Chief. I forgot. Your ribs are going to hurt for a while. I think that's high enough anyway. You okay?" Not getting an answer he poured some water from the bedside pitcher into the glass and held the straw in front of Blair's mouth. "Small sips." He sighed as his partner sucked greedily. When he pulled the straw away Blair made a small sound of distress. "More?" At the small nod he held the glass until he heard the slurping sounds indicating that the glass was empty. Taking it away again he placed it back on the table. "That's enough for now."
Blair leaned back with a small sigh and closed his eyes. Just drinking a glass of water was tiring. He opened them again when he heard Jim asking if he was all right. Nodding, he opened his mouth to answer but again nothing came out. However this time he was able to swallow and try again. "Wha-wha happ'nd?"
Knowing Blair probably wasn't going to last long he gave him the Reader's Digest condensed version. "You were caught in an explosion at the warehouse. You've got a good-sized cut on your forehead, a broken arm and some cracked ribs. Your leg caught a piece of wood. But you're going to be all right. Pretty sore for a while, but the doctors said that everything should heal up just fine." He'd give him more details later, when he was more awake. And find out what he was doing heading for the building in the first place. "How're you feeling? Anything hurt? I should probably let someone know you're awake."
Giving his head a small shake, Blair tried to check himself out. The broken arm was pretty obvious and he had already felt the ribs. Fumbling a bit, he slowly raised his right hand and gingerly felt the bandage on his head. He couldn't stop the small grunt of pain when he leaned his head forward and tried to lift the blanket to see his leg. His eyes closed of their own volition when Jim took his hand in one of his and used the other to gently push him back onto the pillow. He didn't have the energy to resist.
"Don't. It's all wrapped up anyway. Just lay back and take it easy. I already pushed the call button for the nurse."
A sudden thought occurred to Blair even as he felt himself getting drowsy. "Jm? You 'kay?" His eyes refused his direct command to open. Jim's voice seemed to be getting farther away.
"I'm fine, Chief. You're the only one who got hurt." Someone was stroking his head; it felt so good. "Go on back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up again." The comforting stroking and Jim's promise were the last things Blair was conscious of as he drifted off.
When the nurse entered the room a less than a minute later, she found her patient sound asleep and the big cop who'd been there since day one sitting in his usual spot, holding his hand. She cleared her throat.
Jim knew the nurse, Marie, was there before she announced her presence but didn't acknowledge her until then. He also kept his grip on Blair's hand. "He was awake for a few minutes but just now fell back asleep." He watched as she checked the IV and the monitors.
"How was he?"
"A bit groggy. He drank some water. I don't think he was in much pain except when he moved."
Marie nodded. "He'll probably be feeling it a lot more next time he wakes up. The doctor's ordered a morphine pump for him to use. I'll make sure it's set up before he wakes up again." After a final check on her patient she left to update his chart.
After checking to make sure Blair wouldn't be awake any time soon, Jim took one of his rare breaks from the room to call the station and let everyone know that the Major Crime observer was finally conscious and seemed to be doing fine.
CONTINUES