Work Text:
TITLE: A Leg Up
AUTHOR: MaSK
E-MAIL: iamtesa2@aol.com
PAIRING: M/SK
RATING: PG-13
WARNING: There's a bad word in it. :)
CATEGORY: HUMOR, PRE-SLASH
KEYWORDS: IMPLIED SLASH
SUMMARY: Skinner considers how to end Mulder's career
SPOILERS: None
DISCLAIMER: Mulder and Skinner belong to CC, Morgan and Wong, 1013 and Fox. I'm just using them for a minute and will return them unharmed.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I want to thank Nikita, Medusa and Bertina on the Beacon In the Night Archive mailing list for challenging me to write a fanfic (specifically M/Sk, since that's the only fanfic I read). Nik specified that Skinner and Mulder were in a meeting and Mulder's foot starts rubbing Skinner's leg under the table. How would Skinner react? Read on. :)
A Leg Up
by MaSK
The FBI's monthly department heads' financial meeting came to an end three hours after it had begun -- and not a minute too soon, as far as Assistant Director Walter Skinner was concerned.
Usually, these meetings were an exercise in maintaining a demeanor of studied concentration when in fact all Skinner usually could concentrate on was getting the hell out of there. It didn't help that most department heads read their reports in a monotone that could put an insomniac to sleep in 20 seconds.
But today's meeting had been different. Oh, how it had been different. And "different" in this instance didn't mean "good." It was scary. It was shocking. It was totally unprofessional and unexpected. It promised a change in Skinner's professional life. However, it certainly wasn't about to change his personal life. No way. No matter what Special Agent Fox Mulder could say -- or do -- there was no way that Walter S. Skinner would ever respond to a sexual advance from a subordinate -- a *male* subordinate -- other than with a pink slip and a sexual harassment lawsuit.
The sexual advance Skinner had been subjected to at the hands -- or rather, *feet* -- of Fox Mulder had started about midway through the meeting. Skinner was just about to nod off when he was saved from public embarrassment by a sensation he at first didn't believe he was feeling. In fact, his raised eyebrows and shocked expression nearly cost him the embarrassment that falling asleep in the middle of the meeting would have. Fortunately, Skinner regained control of his exterior demeanor while his brain processed the fact that a foot was slowly working its way up his leg.
Skinner quickly ascertained that said foot belonged to Mulder. He hadn't made it to the rank of Assistant Director of the FBI for nothing. The absence of Agent Dana Scully at the meeting (she was sick at home with the flu) and the fact that no one else was sitting near Mulder confirmed for him that Mulder couldn't possibly be making a mistake of some sort. No, this was a deliberate sexual come-on.
But why would Mulder do this, and do this now, of all times? Had Mulder secretly been seduced by the Consortium and was now trying to snare Skinner into a compromising position? Was Mulder pissed off because of the recent slate of travel and financial requests Skinner had rejected? Was this Mulder's way of getting back at him?
Surely Mulder wasn't actually interested in Skinner. That was absurd. Skinner was a middle-aged, bald, desk jockey and Mulder was a young, good-looking, well-built, long-legged, lean-bodied, sleek, sexy ... HEY! Where'd that come from??
Skinner once again avoided public embarrassment when no one noticed the sudden jolt that passed through his body with that last thought. They were too busy reading the handout that Agent Flemming had passed around to everyone.
No one had noticed ... except Mulder. Mulder's head was bowed down, looking as if he was reading the handout, but his eyes were peering over at Skinner and a slightly evil grin was gracing his lips. Skinner watched those lips. He'd never noticed before how full they were and how elegantly formed. Not just a straight, narrow line bisecting his lower jaw; they were wonderfully curved and looked almost pouty. They complemented his slightly almond-shaped eyes, which changed colors depending on what the agent was wearing and what his mood was. Yes, those eyes were beautiful, and those lips could do a lot of things to a man, like wrap around ... HEY! What in hell is going on??
By this time, Skinner had become an expert at hiding the storm of conflicting emotions and total shock that were invading his mind. However, Mulder seemed to know what was happening to Skinner because Mulder's lips curled into a slight smirk.
Oh, yeah? You think you've shocked me, Mulder? You think you can have me? You think I'm going to ... to ... to ask you out for dinner, or something? You think I'm going to say, "Agent Mulder, care to fuck me senseless after work this evening?" Well, think again, pal. Your ass is on a one-way ticket to the unemployment line. Just wait until this meeting is over. Your career is going to be over, as well.
" ... and that's it for my March report. Do you have any questions, A.D. Skinner?"
Skinner turned his head in the direction of the voice that had just said his name, with a look on face that said, "I don't know you or know where I am. I want my mommy."
Agent Flemming, thinking perhaps the AD wasn't feeling too well, repeated, "Do you have any questions, sir?"
Damn! I have to pretend that I know what the hell he's talking about, Skinner thought.
"No, Agent Flemming. I have no questions. Does anyone else?" Skinner asked, as if there weren't a man's size-10 foot softly massaging his calf at the moment.
"Good. Since there aren't any questions, I think we can call this meeting over, gentlemen," Skinner said dismissing the agents and quickly pulling away from the meeting table -- and from the foot that had spent the last 90 minutes surreptitiously touring his leg.
Now's the time. Now is when I tell Mulder exactly what I think of his foot and his future employment options. Oh, am I going to enjoy this, Skinner thought as he looked over at Mulder.
"Agent Mulder; a word with you, please?"
Mulder looked up at Skinner and smiled pleasantly as he sat back down in the chair. "Yes, sir?"
The agents filed out of the office as Skinner informed his secretary, Arlene, that he didn't want to be disturbed. He closed the office door and turned back to face Mulder and utter the words he'd been waiting to say for the last 90 minutes.
"Agent Mulder ... um ... would you like to have dinner with me, or something?"
The End