Chapter Text
Starbuck swallowed nervously. He wanted everything to be perfect today. This was his first day of teaching and he was scared to death.
Starbuck erased the notes he had just written on the lesson board. It was still a little messy. Starbuck looked at his badly shaking hands and sighed. He had to put the writing stylus down and wait for the trembling in his hands to subside somewhat. The shaking was just one of several side affects from the breakdown he had suffered a few sectars ago.
It took several times of rewriting for Starbuck to be *somewhat* satisfied with the results. He fussed around, straightening papers and display models of vipers. He couldn't seem to relax and had, in fact, come in several centars early to prepare.
Starbuck stepped back to admire his handiwork and found himself weak-kneed and slightly dizzy. He sat down on the corner of his desk and took a few steadying breaths.
"Breathe in and out slowly Starbuck." Starbuck muttered to himself, mimicking what he knew Apollo would say if he were here.
Thank the Lords he wasn't. Apollo got frightened easily these days. Starbuck had been very sick for several sectons and had almost died. So, maybe Apollo had the right to get upset.
Starbuck rubbed a shaky hand over his chest, trying to loosen up the tightness he felt when he got distressed anymore. It happened less and less, but still too often for his or anyone's liking.
A noise at the door told Starbuck that his students were about to come in. He stood up and pasted his standard Starbuck smile on and began a new phase of his life.
******
Starbuck finished his opening speech and ran a hand anxiously through his hair. He stacked his neatly prepared notes on the corner of his desk and braced himself before looking up at the classroom full of students.
'Frack. No, it's just my imagination, they don't really look like a patrol of blood-thirsty Cylons bearing down on me.'
Despite the growing unease in his stomach, Starbuck smiled at his students who were staring back at him. "Now, before we go any further, do you have any questions?"
In the back of the room a young man raised his hand.
"Yes, what would you like to know?"
"Where's the steering console?"
Starbuck stood shocked. Then the young man smiled and Starbuck smiled back, acknowledging the joke.
He decided to go along with the joke. He understood the need for humor to break the tension and Lords know he could do with a little less tension right about now.
"Ah, yes, that pesky steering console. That is a tricky one. It being so hard to find and all."
Starbuck walked over to the mock-up viper and touched the large steering mechanism that was a prominent part of the display panel. With a slight smile he tapped the gear.
"This is the steering console."
Starbuck looked around the room and was disconcerted to realize that several of the students were craning their necks in order to see where he was touching. Others were taking notes. No one seemed to be laughing off the demonstration.
"Uh...are there any other questions?"
Another eager student raised her hand. Starbuck pointed to her in trepidation.
"Where are the thrusters?"
Starbuck blanched when he realized she was deadly serious. Frighteningly, this time *no one* was laughing.
'Good Lords. I have to get these people ready to fight the Cylons!'
Gamely, Starbuck smiled again. He motioned the students forward and spent the rest of the day showing and reshowing what every part of the viper was. By the end of the day he was exhausted and disquieted.
The Council of Twelve had recently devised a new teaching method. Starbuck had become an instructor just in time to try out this pilot program.
Lucky him.
The plan was that the teacher (him) was supposed to take one class of students (them) and concentrate solely on them for an entire yahren. In that way, he and the students would be familiar with each other and, theoretically learn more efficiently.
Starbuck stood in the empty classroom and stared at the mess left behind. He slumped against his desk.
"This is going to be a long yahren."
******
"Where in the frack is the lemon grass?"
A giggle from the living room made Apollo realize he had spoken out loud. He winced guiltily at the bad language he had used in front of his son.
"Hey giggling boy, why don't you set the table for me."
Boxey ran into the cooking area and gave his father a quick hug. "Okay Dad."
Apollo continued to hunt for his errant tube of spices. 'Where in the frack are they? This stew will taste awful without them.' Apollo felt a light tap on his back and turned back to an again giggling Boxey, who was holding out the missing tube.
"Where was this?" Apollo took the proffered spices and added them to the simmering pot.
"On the counter." Boxey pointed right in front of Apollo. Boxey laughed again and Apollo ruffled his son's hair.
"Thank you for finding them for me. This would taste like daggit droppings without it."
Boxey giggled again and again Apollo mentally winced at what he had inadvertently said in front of his impressionable young son. 'Lords, what a *good* influence I am.'
The door opened in the next room, admitting the noise from the corridor and a tired looking Starbuck.
"Uncle Starbuck!" Boxey ran to his second favorite person in all the universe and grabbed him around the waist.
"Star it's good to see you. How did class go?"
"You wouldn't believe me."
"Try me." Apollo frowned at how haggard his lover looked. He watched as Starbuck picked Boxey up for a hug. It was still hard for him to do. Starbuck struggled to hold the squirming young boy for a centon and then put him back down, quickly. "So what happened in class?"
The two men hugged as Boxey went back to playing with Muffit, his artificial dog. Boxey truly loved the android that had taken the place of the daggit he had lost back on Caprica. Apollo and Starbuck loved the daggit too. It was a good guardian for the young boy and it didn't pee in the corner or leave little surprises in the middle of the bed.
You've gotta love technology.
Apollo led Starbuck over to the lounging chair and they sat down to indulge in a little cuddling. After all, they hadn't seen each other all day. Since Starbuck's illness they hadn't been apart for more than a couple of centars at a time. This was the first time that they hadn't seen each other *all* day.
Wrapped in each other's arms, Starbuck told his lover about the nightmare his first class had been. He tried to make light of his worries. Joking around, telling how he had to explain every bolt and rivet on the viper. Twice!
Apollo read between the lines and understood what Starbuck was reluctant to say. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to teach his students properly and would ultimately be responsible if they died in battle.
"Don't worry baby," Apollo whispered in his ear. "Most people overcompensate the first few days of class. They think that it's better to pretend they don't know anything than to miss out on some small detail later on. They'll loosen up and you'll see, most of them will know a lot more than you think."
"I hope you're right." Starbuck's murmured reply was so quiet that Apollo almost didn't hear it.
"Well of course I'm right. Aren't I always?"
Starbuck snorted softly and smiled at Apollo in appreciation. Apollo cuddled his lover a few more centons. They both watched Boxey and Muffit playing on the floor.
"Okay. Up you go." Apollo swatted a sleepy Starbuck on the butt. "I've got to finish supper. Why don't you go change."
Starbuck leaned in for one last kiss. "Yeah, I think I will."
Apollo watched concernedly as Starbuck drug himself into their bedroom.
^^^^^^
Time passed as Apollo put the finishing touches on their food. He sat down to wait. Eventually Apollo realized that it had been quite a while and Starbuck had never returned from the bedroom.
Leaving Boxey, who was once again playing, Apollo went into the bedroom and stopped abruptly at the sight that greeted him.
Starbuck was sitting on the side of the bed. He was still dressed in his work clothes...and he was staring off into space.