Work Text:
Carson boarded the 'jumper, staying mostly silent. There were conversations around him, some even trying to break the somber mood that hung heavy in the atmosphere, but Carson kept to himself, silently worrying the object he clutched between his fingers.
He made it through the post off-world checkup from Biro, and then through the briefing with Elizabeth. And while he was present for the meeting, nodding when appropriate, and methodically answering questions as they came up, his mind was lightyears away.
In his mind, he was still sitting by Perna's bedside, gently stroking her hair, saying a silent prayer that maybe things could turn around. He held onto that belief even as she fought the effects of the virus. Even as she made her peace. Even as tears fell down her ashen face and she smiled up at Carson, her last whispered words being, "It was an honor working with you, Carson."
It took a second to realize that Elizabeth had dismissed the meeting, and Carson stood, shaking off the offers of a shared meal with the team. He made an absent excuse, not fully paying attention to the words that he uttered, and slowly made the way to his quarters.
Standing there, it took Carson a moment to realize he needed to swipe at the door to get it to open. And as he did, he once again felt the metal and bone charm in his hand, again filling him with despair. He walked through the open door, letting it close quietly behind him. And with trembling hands, he took the charm, the brooch that Perna had worn around her neck as they worked side by side - the same charm she had given him just before she died - and gently placed it on his bedside stand. He stared at it for a few moments, slowly realizing that the sobbing cries he could hear echoing off the mostly empty room were his own. Tears running down his cheeks, he leaned against the wall, and slowly slid to his knees.