Work Text:
Santa with an Attitude
By PattRose
Summary: Jim was trying to be nice and stop a fight right before the Christmas party, but instead, he got socked in the eye for trying to help. And did I mention he's going to be Santa at the party?
Genre: Slash Implied
Warnings: Santa was hurt during the making of this story.
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 1745
Jim hated Christmas. No, he hated playing Santa Claus for the Children's Hospital Christmas Party. The wig was itchy, the beard was worse and he felt stupid with all the pillows inside the suit. Why couldn't they have a physically fit Santa for a change with a new hair cut and shave? Jim knew he was only dreaming in his head, he would never say anything to his lover about not wanting to do it, because Blair thought it was the most important job there was. Blair had been in charge of all of the presents. He saw to it, that every child on the ward got a wonderful gift. Jim knew there were quite a few because his red bag weighed a ton. Where were Santa's elves? That's what Jim wanted to know.
Blair came up to him and said, "You look great, Jim. The kids are going to be so excited to see you. This will only take about two hours, you just wait and see. And when you see the look on their faces, you'll know it was worth it. I promise."
"You better be right, Blair. My balls are sweating. My head is sweating and my everything is sweating. This suit is so hot, you can't imagine. Couldn't we have asked someone that had natural padding?" Jim asked.
"Really nice Christmas talk, mentioning your balls. Get a grip, Jim. These kids at the hospital are there because they can't be home. They're really sick. Now, if you could please just smile a little, we would have it made," Blair suggested.
Jim turned to Blair and wanted to flip him off, but instead he plastered a smile on his face and walked towards the truck. "Do we have all of the presents? What if someone came in at the last minute?"
"There are three extra presents for boys and girls, just in case. They may not be as personal as some of the others, but it's the thought that counts. Ready to go?"
"Ready as I'll ever be. Where is your costume?" Jim wondered.
Blair took an elf hat out of his jacket and put it on his head. "I'm ready."
"You suck, Sandburg," Jim snarled.
"Just keep in mind that I'll do more than suck you later on. Just be a good boy and make this night wonderful for all of them," Blair teased.
"Oh good, now I'm going to have a boner under the Santa Suit. The kids will be scarred for life. How come you get to talk about things, but I don't?" Jim asked.
"I know the time and place for everything. Let's get these presents into the back of the pickup. Come on Jim, we're going to be late," Blair said, pushing Jim on his hind end.
"You keep touching my butt and I'm not going to be going anywhere," Jim said.
Simon stood to the side of the door and said, "I'm scarred for life. Quit the talking and get moving. Is there anything else you need, Sandburg?"
"We could use about three more people to wear elf hats and hand out the presents when Jim calls out their names," Blair said.
"Rafe, Brown and Connor, come here," Simon ordered.
"Yes, sir," Megan Connor said.
"Megan, I need you to be an elf at the party tonight. Do you think you can do that? You'll have to wear a hat like Blair has on. It's for a worthy cause."
"I'll do it. Hand over the hat, Sandy."
Blair handed her a hat and said, "We're leaving now, so we need everyone up at the hospital as soon as possible."
Rafe glared at Blair and asked, "Do I even get a say in this?"
"Here's your hat, Rafe," Simon said.
"Where's mine? I can't wait," Henri Brown said.
"Can I ride with Grumpy and Dopey?" Connor asked, laughing, seeing the grouchy look on Jim's face.
Even Simon had to laugh as he said, "Fine go with them and Brown and Rafe you follow close behind. Make this a good night for all of the kids."
Jim growled at no one in particular and walked out to the truck. Once in, Megan got in between Jim and Blair and said, "Get the lead out, Jimbo. We have to be there in time."
"If one more person tells me to hurry, I'm going to scream my head off," Jim said, very dramatically.
"So, Dopey is he always this Grumpy?" Connor asked, trying not to laugh.
"Yes, he is when he has to wear a hot, hot costume," Blair replied, snickering.
~~~~~
Once they got to the hospital, they went up to the children's floor and the place was hopping. There was a belligerent man at the counter, telling off one of the nurses and Jim walked to him and said, "I'm a Detective with Major Crimes. We're here to make the children happy tonight. Maybe we could keep it down, we're about to have a party for all of the kids on this floor."
"Mind your own business, fat man," the fucking idiot said.
"Excuse me, I'm not fat, I'm Santa or supposed to be. Now, why don't you leave and let these girls get back to their work," Jim suggested.
Without any warning at all, the guy flat out punched Jim right in the eye. Knocking poor Santa onto the floor. Rafe and Brown arrested him, cuffed him and led him off and Connor and Blair went over to see if Jim was all right. His eye was already turning black and blue. And now, they were two elves down for present delivery.
"Do I look all right? Jim asked as they helped him off the floor.
"Everything looks fine except for your big black eye. Think up a story, fast," Blair demanded.
"I've got one and it's a doozy. Now, let's get this show on the road."
Thankfully, they had left all of their guns and ammo to go to this party. They wouldn't want anyone to be uncomfortable. The walked to the desk in the middle of the floor and Jim asked, "Is there any special way you want this to be handled?"
"The children are all in the visiting room right now. So, why don't we do the party there?" Sarah said.
"Thank you, Sarah. You lead, we'll follow," Blair said.
"We appreciate this so much. The children have been talking all night long about Santa coming. Even the ones that don't really believe in Santa," Sarah said. She walked into a huge room filled with children and everyone squealed with delight when Santa and the two elves walked in. Jim even found himself getting excited.
"Santa, what happened to your eye?" a darling little girl asked.
"I wasn't going fast enough and Rudolf kicked me to get me moving so I would be here on time," Jim said, thinking this was a good excuse.
"Rudolph kicked you?" she asked, horrified.
Blair said, "Santa is just kidding. When we were coming in the door, Santa walked into it and gave himself a black eye."
All the children yelled, ‘yay' and were back to normal again. Sarah put Christmas music on the CD player and they all put the packages on the floor ready to hand out.
Jim said, "When I call your name, raise your hand and one of my elves will be there to hand you your gift. "
Jim started calling out names and the gifts were being handed out, easily. Everything was going as planned. Then the doors opened and Joel and Simon walked in with cake and ice cream for all of the kids. Jim had no idea they were doing that. It was a nice way to end the evening.
Once the kids got tired, Jim walked each of them to their room and gave them hugs. The oldest child hugged Jim and whispered, "I know you're not real, but it made all of the younger ones so happy tonight. Thank you for doing this."
"You are most welcome," Jim answered and hugged him back. Blair was right, this was indeed a wonderful thing to do for the holidays.
As they walked down to the parking lot, Jim asked, "Do you mind if I take the suit off, Blair? I'm so hot and I won't even mention where."
"By all means, change into your regular clothes and then we'll head on home. Thank you for coming, Simon and Joel. The kids loved the cake and ice cream. And Megan, thank you for being my helper. Everything worked out just fine," Blair said.
Megan smiled and said, "Thank you for arranging all of it. It meant the world to these kids. They will never forget any of us."
Jim came out of the rest room wearing his jeans and tee shirt, carrying his big Santa suit. Joel started laughing and Jim asked, "What?"
"You have red cheeks and white hair stuck all over your own hair. You're cute as can be," Blair said.
"Thanks, I think. Thank you all for helping us tonight," Jim said.
"We've already thanked everyone for tonight," Blair said.
"Well, I didn't. So, consider it done now. Let's get home. I'm tired," Jim announced.
They all hugged each other and left for the parking lot. Megan rode with Simon and Joel back to the station. Jim and Blair got into the truck and started home.
Blair looked over at Jim evilly and asked, "So, are your balls still sweaty?"
"Oh stop about the balls. I'm sorry I mentioned it. Thank you so much for talking me into this. The kids all had a wonderful time and I'm glad I got to share the holiday with them."
"Would you like to go up and visit them on New Years day with me? I was thinking about taking cookies and cider. What do you think of that?" Blair asked.
"I would follow you anywhere, Blair. Now, let's get home and you can tell me more about this sucking business you mentioned."
And Blair did just that.
The end