Work Text:
Disclaimer:
"NCIS" and its characters don't belong to me they belong to CBS and are being used without permission. Please don't sue because I have no money.
"Clouds" song isn't by me it's by Zack Sobiech. Since I can't put the lyrics in this fic because you can't post lyrics on this site. If you go to youtube the lyrics are there.
Author's Note: Set in and after Chimera. What if Tony wasn't kidding when he said I'm running out of time on the ship? I also have a port like I gave Tony because my veins were getting worn out. One time they stuck me with the IV needle six times and once seven. The port is so much easier and I'm glad that I have it.
Clouds
Tony left the Doctor appointment feeling a little weak and scared for what was going to happen next. He had been having lots and lots of tests and even had a biopsy. The tests and biopsy had came back the Doctor told him he had cancer. He couldn't believe that he had cancer. His Doctor referred him to an Oncologist Doctor. The appointment was for next week where they would talk about what they were going to do.
He appeared at his appointment a little early and checked in. He had to go into another room where his vitals were taken and was told to go back to the waiting room again. He sat down and looked around wondering what would happen. He had been in lots of situations as a child, as a Police Officer and as an Agent, but he's never faced anything like this. He would be lying to himself if he said he wasn't scared. He was scared.
The Doctor called him inside her office and introduced herself. She told him about getting a port, so that way it would be easier for the IV to get started. They talked about what kind of chemotherapy and what the side effects of the dangerous, but hopefully lifesaving medicine will be like. She told him about the medicine that would stop some of the side effects. He said that he would get a port put in, so they gave him an appointment. It would be a same day procedure. When it was done he could go home. He had some time off, so he took time off until the port incision would heal. She told him that they would cut an incision where they would put the port in. Another little incision would be on the neck where the line was put in and it would be over the collarbone.
He looked at himself in the mirror after he had gotten home from after the surgery. He looked at the bandage on his neck and then on his chest where the port was put in. He was told that he couldn't wet the bandage and he had to just rest for the day. He couldn't pick up anything heavy. He went back into the living room and picked up the port information guide that they had in a little folder. He would have to carry the port ID card and take the other port paper to the nurses when they first give him the chemo.
He walked into the clinic a little weary and scared about having his first chemo treatment. Once again they got his weight, blood pressure and temperature. He went back to the waiting room to wait for one of the nurses to come get him and the others that were waiting.
He walked along with the nurse and two other people to the back where he would get his chemo. He sat down on one of the chairs and the nurse came over and talked to him. They all put him at ease when they talked to him. He had given them the paper that he was supposed to give them about his port to be put into his records. The nurse who had talked to him brought a pillow and a blanket. He pushed the button to allow the chair to recline and fell asleep for a bit.
He was on his last cycle of treatment and he had brought the nurses something to thank them. They had talked to him and laughed with him and he wanted to do something for them. He was happy for the chemo to finally be over. He would be going back to see if the Cancer was gone. A year later he went back to the Doctor and they checked him over. The cancer was back and it was incurable. They couldn't use anymore chemo on him because it wouldn't work. He was devastated.
Ziva and McGee were teasing him about being tired and Gibbs was mad at him because he was always tired, or because he almost always was looking out the window and sometimes not paying attention. Gibbs had head slapped him numerous times. There were times that he wanted to say something, but he could never have the courage to say anything. He turned away from them not letting them see that they had hurt him.
Two weeks later they got a case that was on a ship called The Chimera. They were trying to find out what had happened on the ship and found a body. He had told Gibbs that he was going to die, but of course he told him he was going to die because of what he thought he had inhaled. He didn't tell him the real reason why he was dying. He told Gibbs how he thought he would die and Gibbs told him.
"Or like Charlie Chaplin in The Gold Rush"
"How did he die?"
"Silently." Gibbs told him. That shut him up and wasn't interested in telling him anything else. There was no way that he would ever tell Gibbs that he was really dying. He would of told him to go die somewhere else. That had hurt when Gibbs said that. He always looked up to Gibbs, but when he said that it crushed him.
He tried again later with McGee his probie. Yes, he wasn't a probie anymore, but he was his probie. He was the one that helped him to toughen him up and to teach him stuff even if McGee didn't want to learn from him.
"I'm burning up, man."
"The ventilation is off we're all burning up."
"This is different." He paused and decided to tell McGee the truth. "I'm dying McGee"
"You know the last time you were dying of a horrible disease you were a little more stoic about the whole thing."
"I was younger then, carefree."
"It was two years ago."
"Last time I almost died someone blew up my car. So I almost died twice and this is the third time. Bad things come in three's and I'm out of almosts."
He watched as McGee turned to him. Wondering what was going to happen.
"I'm telling you, man I'm telling you I'm dying. I know it."
"Okay, but until you are actually dead will you please help me fix this thing."
He walked away maybe McGee actually believed him. He hoped so because Gibbs sure didn't.
When they were back on land he had hurried back to his house and sighed in relief he was back home. The next day he took a walk and sat down in one of the parks around his apartment. He sat there feeling like nobody cared about him. He knew that McGee really didn't believe him that he was dying he said so when they got back to headquarters.
He was truly alone with nobody to care for him and he was sad. He knew his own father wouldn't care if he had died. Gibbs, Abby, McGee and even Ziva didn't care about him anymore. He felt someone sitting besides him and when he opened his eyes he saw a woman sitting there. She smiled at him and he smiled back.
"Hi." She said to me. "I saw you come down here. I moved in a month ago and heard that you were an NCIS agent and wanted to say hi to you."
"Hi." He said. "My name's Tony."
"My name is Angela." She smiled again as she introduced herself. They talked for a while and they were going to go out again. It was like she was pulling him out of the dark and lonely hole that he had been in. She was his lifeline. They began being friends and had been seeing each other for a month. He had told her that he was dying and didn't have that much time. They went for a ride the next day and visited the tourist spots something she hasn't done yet.
One day they had gone to the park and had a picnic when they were done they laughed and pointed to the clouds up above. They found clouds that looked like animals and tried to guess what the other clouds look liked. They did the same thing the next week. He held her hand and looked up at the sky and clouds. He squeezed her hand and told her it won't be long now. He told her that he wished that he had met hr a long time ago because he had just began to live and it was ripped right out of my hands. How he wished that he had more time with her, but it wasn't possible.
It would be a week later that he was gone from the world and up in the clouds watching from above. He was right the view up here was nicer as he smiled and walked away.
The End