SquidgeWorld Archive

Eric pulled to a stop near the other Hummer and shook his head with a smile. He wasn't surprised to find Horatio at the cemetery, or near Speed's grave. Eric shut his door softly and made his way towards the black-suited figure standing by the headstone. "H."

"Eric."

"I was going to talk to Speed, but I could actually use your advice if you're free," Eric said.

"Always," Horatio said. He looked over at the younger man. "What's on your mind, Eric?"

"Can we go somewhere I don't have to worry about anyone hearing me, please?" Eric asked. "Yeah, I was going to talk to Speed, but I do that in my head and I don't want anyone else to know what's bugging me."

"Sure. Let's go to my house. Eric, are you okay?" Horatio asked.

"I dunno, H. I think so, but I really need someone to talk to. Calleigh offered, but it was the middle of the crime scene and I didn't want to talk about what was going through my head," Eric said. "I'm scared, H. I'm really scared."

Horatio nodded and rested a hand on Eric's shoulder. "Come on, we'll take care of it, Eric," he said softly. "I promise. Follow me to my place and we'll talk about whatever you need to talk about, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks H."
***

Eric knew he was one of the rare friends Horatio let into his home. The team spent time on his back deck, on the beach behind his house, but rarely went beyond the kitchen. Speed, Calleigh and Alexx were the others who were close enough to have gained entry to Horatio's home. Eric didn't know about Ryan, but thought that the younger CSI wasn't there just yet.

"Would you like something to drink, Eric?" Horatio asked once they were in the living room.

"Yeah, whatever you're going to have is fine, H, thanks," Eric said.

"Make yourself comfortable and I'll be right back."

The living room was probably Eric's favorite room in Horatio's house. The lightly colored walls showed off the rainbows cast by the prisms Horatio had in the windows. Eric know they'd belonged to Horatio's grandmother and had come to Horatio when she died. There wasn't much artwork in the room, but the two pieces Horatio had chosen showed Miami and the ocean so beautifully that Eric often expected to hear the waves crash from the frame rather than through the deck door. He sank down onto the sofa with a sigh and cradled his head in his hands.

"Eric, you weren't hurt in the field today, were you?" Horatio asked as he came back into the room. His suit jacket was missing and he'd rolled up his sleeves.

"Nah, I'm not injured," Eric replied. He took the diet Coke with a smile. "Besides, you're the one who had their Hummer blown up with them in it, stood in the path of a gun that could vaporize its victims and managed to take out all three men trying to kill him."

"Just another day in Miami," Horatio smiled. He sat in his chair and leaned forward. "What happened today, Eric?"

"Did Calleigh mention anything to you when she got back from the sniper shooting?"

"She didn't," Horatio said. "Should she have?"

Eric snorted and sipped his pop. "Probably, but she promised it'd stay between us," he said. "She wanted me to talk to her and I tried, but she either didn't have the right answer or she wanted to focus on the case and talk later. H, when the shooting started, I,"

"You remembered the last time you were under fire," Horatio said softly. "Did you freeze, Eric?"

"I don't think so, but do you really know if you freeze?" Eric asked. "I was trying to work out where the shots were coming from, you know. Still trying to find the shooter and I had my gun out. I remember its weight in my hand, but part of me was back in that lot, H."

Horatio nodded. "You had a flashback, Eric," he said. "It's not uncommon when you've been through a stressful situation. You didn't freeze, Eric. If you had, you wouldn't remember things nearly as clearly as you are, okay?"

"Yeah, okay, so I didn't freeze, but I didn't return fire either. Cal commented on that when we were investigating the scene," Eric said. "I tried to tell her that I remembered being in the lot, being shot at. I actually felt the bullets hit me again, H. I felt like I was there and then I was back on the table, dying. I couldn't do my job and the shooter got away."

"Hey." Horatio put his pop down and moved over to the sofa, slipping an arm around Eric's shoulders. "We got him, Eric. We got him before he killed anyone else. You were under pressure and it's natural you flashed back like you did, okay? Eric, listen to me, you did the best you could under the circumstances you were in. You will continue to improve and I know, look at me, I know that if you'd needed to, you would have been able to fire you gun, Eric. You are one of the strongest men I know and you will always be able to do your job, no matter what is happening around you."

"How can you be so sure?" Eric leaned against Horatio and closed his eyes. He really needed the human contact just then.

"Because you died, Eric," Horatio said. "On the table that day, you died and you battled your way back because we need you. I need you, Eric. You are strong enough to overcome anything that is thrown at you because you are so strong, Eric. This may not be your last flashback, but you know what, it'll get easer now. The fear will always be there, it will always try and trap you in the past, but I know that you are strong enough to fight through it to do your job and help others survive."

"You have too much faith in me, Horatio," Eric sighed.

"Never. You are the one that I will always trust at my back, Eric, and you know why?"

"No. I've screwed up so many time, H. Done so much that could hurt the department," Eric said. "I'm probably the last one you should trust at your back."

Horatio pulled back just enough that he could see Eric's face. "Hey, where's all this coming from?" he asked. "Eric, did someone say something to you today?"

"No."

"Eric, you are the one that I will always trust at my back because I know that, here," he put his hand over Eric's heart, "is your greatest source of strength. You've seen so much, done so much, and you can still care about every single person who needs you. Do you know how rare that is?"

"With our team, not that rare," Eric said. He pulled away and stood up. "You wouldn't have people around you who didn't care about the victims, Horatio. That's not how you are."

"Eric, have I ever told you what happened to my father?" Horatio asked softly.

"What? No, you don't talk about yourself, H. Hell, the lab staff have a bet going on whether or not you're human or not," Eric replied.

Horatio chuckled. "How do they plan to prove that?" he asked, curious.

"No idea. I told them to get out of my lab and leave me alone when they tried to get me to talk about you," Eric said. "I'm not going to gossip about one of my best friends like that."

"We should win this bet, Eric," Horatio said. "I have an idea, but let me tell you about my dad first. My first memory of him is him hitting my mother hard enough to break her nose."

"God, H," Eric said as his legs gave out from under him and he sank back down on the sofa.

"It was bad, Eric," Horatio said. "I was very good at lying to my teachers about my injuries by the time I was in the second grade. All I wanted when I was a child was to escape, to run away and never look back, but I couldn't. My mother and Raymond needed me. It continued up until the day I came home and found my mother dying on the floor with my father still beating her. I threw him backwards off her and he died. The courts ruled in my favor, it was an accident, but you know what, Eric? If I'd had a gun, I don't think it would have been."

"How'd he die?"

"When I grabbed him and threw him backwards away from my mother, he tripped and hit his head on the corner of the coffee table," Horatio said. "My mother died in the hospital two days later, and Raymond, he never forgave me."

"Oh, H," Eric said. He slid over and wrapped the lieutenant in a tight hug.

"I suffered nightmares for years, Eric, but the worse moment came when I walked into my first domestic crime scene," Horatio said. "All I could see was my parents lying in pools of blood on the floor. My supervisor asked me if I was okay, and I told him I was fine. That I'd be able to process the scene, and I was. I managed to focus on the victims, but the nightmares came back. So you see, Eric, I've been exactly where you are and I know what you're going through. Every doubt. Every fear. Every moment. Every question. I've asked myself exactly the same things."

"I didn't realize you'd been through something so bad," Eric said. He realized he probably shouldn't be hugging his male boss and pulled back. "So you're saying that time is really the only way to get through this? What happens when I can't shoot next time, H?"

Horatio looked at Eric for a long moment. "Do you want to ride with me for the next few weeks?" he asked softly. "I'd be happy to be sure that I'm your back-up in the field until you're ready to try it on your own again."

"Can you do that?" Eric asked. "How would you even justify something like that with how busy we usually are?"

"Extra training," Horatio replied. "We don't want anyone to know you're having flashbacks, Eric. It's far too likely that IAB could get involved and pull you from the field, and you don't need that, do you?"

"No, I'm fine. I'm seeing a therapist," Eric said. "Today just threw me and I wanted to talk to someone I trusted."

Horatio looked at him. "Do you not trust your therapist?" he asked seriously.

"I dunno, it's weird," Eric said. "It's like I should, and I'm able to talk with him about the shooting and the time in the hospital, but I don't talk about work, about anyone at the lab or how they're treating me."

"You're worried that something is going to get back to the wrong person," Horatio said.

"Guess I'm just too used to playing it close to the chest," Eric said with a small smile. "You don't think that's holding me back from getting better, do you?"

"I don't," Horatio said. "No matter how good a therapist is, there's always a worry when you're in the work we do. I'm here, Eric, any time you need to talk and my guest room is always open, okay?"

"Do you think, maybe, we could work together for the next few days?" Eric asked quietly. "I mean, just until I get these nerves back under control again?"

"Of course we can," Horatio smiled. "Eric, you hungry?"

"Yeah, I could eat, actually. I wasn't hungry when I was going out to see Speed, but I am now," Eric said. "I guess talking with you made me feel better."

"I have some steaks I could grill," Horatio said.

"No way am I turning down your grilling," Eric grinned. "What can I do to help?"
***

"So Eric, tell me more about this bet the lab techs have running," Horatio said once he and Eric were sitting out on the back deck, dinners in front of them.

"They don't think you're human," Eric replied with a grin. He was feeling much better after talking with Horatio and learning he wasn't as alone as he'd thought he was. "It's the way you always show up just as evidence is being finished and is ready to be reviewed, or the way you vanish rather than just walk away. Hell, today is just going to add to the rumors, you know. Horatio Caine walked away from his Hummer blowing up with him in it and took out three men who were armed with the most dangerous gun in the world."

Horatio laughed. "It seems to me that they are watching too many movies, Eric," he said. "What sort of proof has to be brought in to win this bet?"

"Anything that will prove you're not human," Eric said. "It has to be evidence that can be validated by the lab though."

"So if you were to video me changing my oil, would that count?" Horatio asked.

"H, why do I get the feeling you just want to mess with the lab techs?" Eric asked in reply.

"Eric, if they have gone so far as to bet that I'm not human, then I don't see why I shouldn't be able to give them the evidence they need to fully believe it," Horatio said with a smile. "Then, if they are still silly enough to believe something so patently unbelievable, then I think that maybe it's time I have a little chat with them, don't you?"

"How are you going to change your oil, H?" Eric asked. "That seems a little extreme."

Horatio took a bite of his salad and chewed it thoughtfully. "It does, doesn't it?" he finally said. "It was just a starting idea. So now, the question becomes, what can we do to prove to them I'm not human?"

"Depends on what sort of machine you want to be," Eric said. "No one ever sees you out of your suits, so I suppose we could carefully glue some computer componants to one of your arms and you could be videoed taking a memory chip out and putting it into the computer to download."

"But what would be on that chip?" Horatio asked.

"Vital stats for the day. I could fake those on your computer and upload them to the chip and then tell the guys I grabbed it when you went to get something from another room," Eric replied.

"Eric, I like that idea," Horatio said. "Will you help me set it up?"

"Sure," Eric laughed. "Let's get the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up and we can put this plan into action."
***

"I had fun tonight, H, thank you," Eric said when they were finished setting up their practical joke on their co-workers.

"Any time, Eric," Horatio said. He was in a t-shirt and jeans, more to make it easier to access his arms than anything else. "It was nice having someone here in the evenings. Thank you for coming over."

Eric grinned. "I feel like I should be the one thanking you, H. You really helped make me feel better and I'm not as worried about going in tomorrow," he said. "I know you'll say that's your job, both as family and a boss, but I mean it. Thank you."

"Come here," Horatio said, holding out his arms. "You're more than family to me, Eric." He wrapped the younger man in a tight hug. "I told you that you're the one I always trust to have my back. Remember that, okay?"

"H, would it be too weird if I kissed you?" Eric asked softly.

"Not at all," Horatio replied just as softly. He pulled back just enough that he could see Eric's eyes.

"Good," Eric whispered. He closed the distance between them again and took Horatio's mouth with his softly. Horatio returned the kiss and kept it light on purpose. "H?"

"Slowly, Eric, very slowly," Horatio said. "It's been a long time since I've let anyone close to me and I need to be sure that we can move slowly if this is something you want more on."

"I do," Eric said. "I can do slowly, H. How about dinner tomorrow night when we're done at the lab and then a walk on the beach?"

"That sounds nice, Eric. I'll look forward to that," Horatio smiled. He kissed Eric again and just held him for a minute. "Text me when you give that chip to Mr. Wolfe, okay?"

Eric laughed. "Yeah, I'll do that. Have a good night, Horatio."
***

He didn't know where Horatio was, but Eric could feel him watching the A/V lab, probably from some dark corner so he could appear as dramatically as possible. Eric just hoped he'd be able to keep a straight face and not give their joke away too early.

"You needed me for something, Delko?" Ryan asked, walking into the lab.

"Wolfe, yeah, hey listen, I was over at Horatio's house yesterday talking about the case and I saw something like really freaky," Eric replied.

"Freaky? Like what?" Ryan asked.

"Like Horatio's arm," Eric replied. He put his cell phone down on the A/V link-up. "Look, I don't think he knew I was there and I was able to get this video on my phone. He'd left me cooking dinner and I needed to ask him something."

"Okay, Eric, first of all, when does Horatio not know when someone is around him?" Ryan asked. He looked at the video. "Are those computer components?"

"Yeah, I think so," Eric said. "I tried to zoom in, but it didn't work. Think about it though, have you ever seen Horatio in short sleeves?"

"Well, no," Ryan said. "Is that a computer chip of some sort? What's he doing with it?"

"It was downloading into his computer," Eric said. He pulled a baggy out of his pocket. "I told H I had to go to the bathroom about halfway through dinner, ducked in and swiped it. I haven't had a chance to look at it though."

"Let's see what it is." Ryan took the memory chip and loaded it into the lab's computer. "Bio-data."

"Bio what?" Eric asked.

"Heart rate, pulse, breaths per minute, how much he was sweating," Ryan said reading through the list. "Blood chemistry, what he ate, how much he ate; Eric, do you know what this is?"

"Not really," Eric said.

Ryan looked over at him. "This proof that Horatio Caine isn't fully human," he said. "He's some sort of an android or half human, half computer."

"Or just very good at what I do," Horatio said from directly behind Ryan.

Eric couldn't help it, he started laughing. "Sorry, Wolfe, but it was too good to pass up," he managed.

"You two, you set this up?" Ryan asked, looking between them.

"Eric told me about the bet here in the lab, Mr. Wolfe, so here is what you're going to do for me," Horatio said softly. "You are going to take this video and this information and tell the lab techs who persist in believing that I'm not human and you show this to them, okay? You show this to them and tell them that if I hear a whisper of such a foolish rumor in my lab again, then we are all going to talk, and that no one is going to enjoy that. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," Ryan said. He swallowed hard. "Delko, you're part of this?"

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger," Eric grinned. "You'd better get moving there, Wolfe. You don't know if Horatio has lasers installed yet or not."

"Eric," Horatio said softly.

"Sorry, H, couldn't resist. Hey, don't look at me like that, Wolfe, I got my lecture yesterday when Horatio found out about all of this," Eric said.

Ryan sighed, took the stuff with him and left. Eric looked at Horatio and could tell that the red head was trying not to laugh. "I think maybe he started those rumors, H."

"Maybe he did, Eric," Horatio said. "Do you think we managed to take care of the problem?"

"Oh yeah, in spades," Eric said. "So, dinner tonight?"

"Dinner tonight," Horatio said with a smile. "I'm looking forward to it, Eric."