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Alec barely opened the door when a shriek rang out; “Alec!” just before he was attacked and a small body flung itself at him.
Scooping up the small frame, Alec asked, “How’s my little man doing?”
His four-year old frowned.
Alec prodded his chin up. “Hey what’s this?”
Pouting his son replied, “Max didn’t like my gift.”
“What? Are you sure?”
Bangs fell into his eyes as he bobbed his head.
“What makes you think she doesn’t like it? Did she tell you that?”
Sniffling Logan sadly choked out, “No, but she didn’t put in on the refrigerator.”
“That is odd and doesn’t sound like Max. Huh, where is it, can I see?”
He squirmed out of Alec’s arms and jumped down to retrieve his gift. When he returned Alec squatted down to see the picture his son drew. “Wow, this is great. Anyone help you with your letters?”
He shrugged, “Miss Tookie wrote it down what I wanted on another piece of paper, but I wrote all by myself.”
Alec smiled. “And you did an excellent job. Does it help that I love it?”
His lashes wet framing his wide-eyed wonder. “You do?”
“I do.” Alec replied and held Logan closer.
Still dejected, Logan shook his head. “But Max didn’t like it.”
“Actually, I’m sure she does.” though Logan refused to listen and buried his face against Alec’s side.
“It’s true; sometimes Moms can get a bit emotional when they love something so much.”
Tentatively Logan looked up, “Is that why Max cried?”
“Max was crying?”
Logan nodded. “I wasn’t supposed to know.”
“Yup, that’s what it sounds like. She loved it so much she cried.”
Alec’s thumb brushed away his tears. “Now I want you to go upstairs and wash that handsome face. Then changed into some pajamas and come back downstairs. I think it’s time we showed you something, but I’m going to go talk to mommy first – I mean Max.” and prodded his son toward the stairs.
Reluctantly Logan did as he was told.
Slowly Alec stood, staring back at the picture and knew it wasn’t Logan’s art work that got to Max, but rather what Logan wrote, Logan loves Max.
It was innocent, a son’s declaration of love and if Logan had written, Logan loves Mommy, Alec was sure Max wouldn’t have slipped up. No the problem was Logan’s message reminded Max of his name’s sake Logan Cale.
As much as Alec hated it, he knew Max never forgave herself for what happened. Six years later, and it was still affecting them only now it was their son. He had to do something.
Alec heard the back door, and knew Max had been in the garage and was in the kitchen. With the picture in his hand he walked into the kitchen. She turned and faced him. It was easy to see she had been crying. A fraction too late her lips stretched out into a smile – a fake plastered one and cheerfully asked. “When did you get home?”
He shrugged, “Just now.” Moving to the refrigerator he collected a few magnets and placed Logan’s picture so it hung prominently.
Alec heard the subtle inhale and turned to see Max had turned away, clutching against the counter then try to busy herself. He reached out and brought her back flush with his body hugging her and brushed a kiss to her cheek. “Our son’s talented.”
That brought a real smile to her face and conceded. “Yeah he is.”
“You do know the whole Max Alec thing is just a phrase, right?”
“Yeah, but I miss hearing mommy and daddy.”
“I know me too, but give him some time.” Nervous to broach the subject, Alec tried to soften his delivery. “Max, Logan’s a little confused by your reaction.” He felt her turmoil as she stiffen in his arms.
Alec squeezed offering her his strength; his voice lowered to just above a whisper, “Max, you need to let it go.”
“I can’t…”
“You have to, for our son. I miss him too. Hell, I’ll never be able to thank him enough for our life. Everything I have, you Logan, was because of him, his sacrifice. You’re here and we have Logan because of him.”
“It was because of me, he died.”
Alec sighed, feeling her pain. “I know, but it was his choice, he made that decision. Please don’t ask me to wish it had gone down any differently because I can’t.”
“Alec, I don’t regret our life, but…”
“But he died because of the virus, pulling you out of the line of fire after you were hit. I know I should have been there… You don’t think I know that, or know that he wouldn’t have had the virus in the first place if I hadn’t made sure it was deliv…”
“Stop. You were following Manticore’s orders.”
“Then what is this Max, if it’s not regret?”
Max turned around and looked into his eyes, pleading. “Alec, look at me. I love you and don’t regret a moment – not one. It was… It just surprised me that’s all.” She swallowed, but kept her eyes steady so he could see the truth of her words, “But I loved him too and sometimes I find myself thinking about him.”
Alec exhaled in relief. He knew she loved Logan, had known there was someone else from the day he met her at Manticore as his breeding partner. He never hated Logan; the man was a good-doer standing for a justice that at the time Alec didn’t understand. Over time after they declared Terminal City their own, the three of them grew to be close friends. He watched from the sidelines as the two of them tried to maintain a celibate relationship due to the virus.
It was under the attack on TC in 22’ when they lost Logan. During the battle Max was hit and it was Logan who pulled her to safety where Max watched helplessly as the virus killed him. By the time he and Joshua got there it was too late.
Alec kissed the top of her head. “Maybe, if we stop pretending?”
Confused Max searched his eyes.
“I think it’s time we talk about him. Tell Logan about his name sake. About Logan and Eyes Only, Max he needs to be remembered. Okay?”
Max just stood there then her eyes shifted to the picture behind him. Slowly she nodded her smile brighter.
“Good. Come on; let’s go teach our son about Logan and introduce him to the man we knew - a great pool player and an even better friend, who’s he is named after.”
Fin~