Work Text:
It was on this one Thursday afternoon
That I was with my best friend Beverly Moon
Having lunch at the Golden Corral just like
Old times before I saw another buddy Mike
Walk in with a girl named Dana Sassoon.
And while they were getting some food
From the buffet line, I looked at the dude
And said, "I know what you're thinking,
Beverly. But that boat you're on is sinking
Fast. You see, I know all about that dude.
And no matter what she thinks,
He's going to make poor Dana's life stink
Worse from one day to another."
That was before Beverly looked with her
Doubtful eyes and say, "I really think
That you're being paranoid, Jack.
I saw them at McDonald's sharing a Big Mac
And enjoying each others company."
That was when I noticed that she was unable to see
Beyond all of that true love hack
Which made me have no choice but to
Look at her in the eyes and say, "That's true.
But I still say that he's never going to marry her
Nor any woman who would dare glance her
Eyes at him and think that they would do
The exact same thing and live out their lives
Together like so many husbands and wives."
That was before Dana walked over, gave me a hug
And said, "Thanks for being there, you big lug.
And you could stop by later for those two fives
That he still owes you for that poker game last week."
And after she walked away, I began to seek
Every part of my memory until that one thing that
I was looking for made me laugh like some hyperactive cat
Just before Beverly asked, "What happened last week?"
That was when I said, "She asked him to marry her and he said no.",
Only to have her say, "Okay. He's shy about marriage. So?"
That was when I laughed and said, "He really is not shy.
He's not marrying Dana and here's the reason why."
After I said that he's gay, a wide-eyed Beverly said, "Oh!"