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Gummy Bear

Summary:

The team has their revenge. Sequel to Sick.

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It had been a bit more than a month since Horatio had pretended to be sick and caused his team to go through hell in one day. He had done it as a bet with Tom, whom in turn had made a bet with Alexx. And while the three of them had laughed for days and days about the team being fooled by their boss, the team had been planning their revenge.

It didn't take them too long to figure out what would make their boss crazy (just as crazy as they had been when he was fooling them), but they had waited to act out their revenge until it seemed like they had forgotten and the redhead was no longer counting on them to do something back.

It had taken all night to set up and all of their technical skills, but it woudl be perfect (since Horatio had the same routine every morning it wasn't hard to set up the prank). So one lovely, sunny Thursday morning when Horatio came to work he was not surprised to find that he was the only one there (since he was always so early). He took some coffee from the break room coffee machine and went to his office. He took a sip from the black liquid and started his computer. Tapping on a few keys and answering a few mails; all the usual stuff was done before the clock was even seven. He was already bored.

Then he heard something. A song... it wasn't very loud, but enough for him not to be able to concentrate.

Oh, I'm a Gummy Bear
Yes, I'm a Gummy Bear!
Oh, I'm a Yummy, Chummy, Funny, Lucky Gummy Bear

Horatio frowned and checked his desk drawers; nothing. They were all empty, but the song had to come from somewhere. He stopped and listened for a while. It sounded like more people singing now or multiple songs playing at the same time.

"Aha!" He smirked in victory and moved to the couch.

He could hear it coming from somewhere over there. He checked under it, under the cushions and even behind it, yet he didn't find anything. He knew now that the song was definitely coming from there, so where exactly was it?

He stopped and thought for a moment, could it really be?

Horatio pulled the couch away from the wall and put his ear against the back of it; sure enough the sound was louder from there. He saw that the screws keeping the back board of the couch together were loose. He could easily unscrew them and inside he found a small tape recorder.

"This is it?" Horatio asked, as he removed the tape recorder and turned it off.

Then he whipped his head back to his desk. It was that song again! But could it really be coming from his desk? He walked back to his desk and checked his drawers again, but he couldn't find it. He checked the computer and even his chair; it was nowhere!

He was seriously beginning to get angry now and he used a pocket knife he had at the desk to unscrew the back of his chair. Nothing there. He took a deep breath, stopped and listened. He then came to the conclusion that the song wasn't coming from his office after all. He stepped outside in the hallway and walked towards the DNA lab. When he opened the door the song was blaring from a small tape recorder hidden between two microscopes. Horatio turned it off.

"Hey boss!" Natalia said cheerfully.

"Good morning Natalia, do you know who placed tape recorders in this lab and my office, playing a song?" He asked, wasting no time getting to the point.

"No. Probably Walter." She shrugged.

"Why Walter?"

"He said something yesterday about playing a prank on you." Natalia said.

"Oh, so this is your revenge for my prank." Horatio smirked.

"No, we haven't planned ours yet." Natalia grinned, "But Walter said that he couldn't wait."

Horatio nodded, keeping in mind to put Walter on dumpster duty next week for playing pranks on his boss. As Horatio and Natalia went to the break room, the rest of the team started arriving too. When Walter was spotted in the receptionist area Horatio went to meet him.

"Morning Walter, I think you forgot something in my office and the DNA lab last night." Horatio said and handed Walter the two tape recorders.

"These aren't mine."

"No? Natalia said they were."

"Ryan has these kinds of things, I think." Walter said.

Horatio frowned. Either Walter was a really good actor or it really was Ryan's. Horatio shook his head slightly; Walter wasn't famous for being able to keep a straight face; so it had to be Ryan's tape recorders.

Just as he was about to follow Walter to the break room he heard it again.

Oh, I'm a Gummy Bear
Yes, I'm a Gummy Bear!
Oh, I'm a Yummy, Chummy, Funny, Lucky Gummy Bear

The song was really starting to piss him off. This time he heard it from down the hall toward Calleigh's lab. He walked to the ballistic lab and sure enough the sound got louder. He entered the lab and listened for the sound. He heard them from three different places now. Just then his phone rang.

"Caine." He answered.

"Hey, we got a body out in the glades." Ryan said.

"You and Walter take it." Horatio said, not really focusing on talking to his CSI.

"Sure thing, boss."

After they hung up Horatio started to search for the annoying little thing. He found one in the gun vault and turned it off. Now he only had two left. One sounded like it came from test range so he walked there. He seemed to get closer to the sound, but then it was suddenly further away again; as if it was moving around.

Then his phone rang again, this time it was Eric.

"Caine."

"H, we have a double murder in Coral Gables." Eric said.

"You, Calleigh and Natalia take it. I'll be there as soon as I can." Horatio said and hung up.

Then he saw it. A train track; one of those toys you gave kids. It was going around the whole ballistic lab and on the little train was the tape recorder. He grabbed the train and turned the recorder off.

With a sigh of relief, he started opening Calleigh's desk drawers and found the third tape recorder. He turned it off and went back to the main lab. His team wasn't around of course. He went to the receptionist Paula and asked for the addresses to the crime scenes and to his surprise, she didn't have any. There had been no calls about murders.

"So where is my team?" He asked.

"I don't know, sir. They all left a while ago." Paula said.

Horatio knew that they were up to something now. He went back to his office and called every member on his team; unfortunately their cell phones were all out of reach.

"You want to play it that way huh. Well then, I'll just ignore all the tape recorders too." Horatio smirked confidently, "I can focus with them on anyway."

-I-

Three hours and forty five minutes later the redhead was on the verge of tears as he tried to concentrate on his paperwork. He heard the gummy bear song wherever he went and his team still hadn't shown up. He rested his head in his hands; he only heard one thing in his head; gummy bear, gummy bear, gummy bear.

He had to make it stop. If need be he would shoot the damn tape recorders when he found them. He decided to go on another hunt for them and quickly found two in the break room, one in the AV lab and after thirty minutes he found yet another one in the trace lab. Then it was finally quiet all around.

"Finally." Horatio muttered.

He was now in need for a bathroom break and he went to the men's room. He sighed in relief when there was no song playing and nobody else there either. He went into one of the stalls for some peace and quiet.

He had just finished when there it was again!

Oh, I'm a Gummy Bear
Yes, I'm a Gummy Bear!
Oh, I'm a Yummy, Chummy, Funny, Lucky Gummy Bear

He started banging his head against the stall door and muttering something about killing his team when they got back from wherever they were.

"H, are you in here?"

"Make it stop!"

"The song?"

"Yes, Francis, the song!"

"I don't know where it's coming from." Frank said, as he frantically searched around the bathroom for a little device playing.

Horatio came out from the stall, washed his hands and listened for where the song came from. It was coming from down the hall. Together with Frank he walked out in the hallway, passed the locker rooms and went towards the storage closet. He put his ear against the door and heard it loud and clear.

"It's coming from inside there." Frank said.

"Thank you Einstein." Horatio mumbled.

Horatio opened the door and immediately all the equipment fell out on him. Frank chuckled and helped Horatio clear out some stuff, before the redhead walked inside and started searching.

Then Frank's phone rang and when he hung up, Horatio was throwing stuff around him looking for the tape recorder.

"Um H, I have a crime scene. Got to go, bye!" Frank said and left quickly.

Horatio either didn't care what Frank said or he hadn't heard him; he laughed victoriously when he found the tiniest tape recorder he had ever seen.

"Aha! I got you now!" He grinned and turned it off.

He was just about to leave when... it couldn't be! It came from deeper inside the storage closet. Horatio growled and started throwing all the equipment out of the tiny space as he rummaged through it to find yet another recorder. When he couldn't find it within reach he realized it was on a shelf. So he started climbing up and ignored the squeaking of the wood boards as he stepped on them.

"I got you!" He grinned as he found it.

Then he heard something cracking and looked down. The shelves couldn't take his full body weight and there was a loud crash and some cursing as they gave in.

In the surveillance room on the top floor of the lab, the team and Frank were rolling on the floor laughing.

-I-

Four hours and a visit to Tom later (because Horatio had various scratches and bruises all over him), Horatio entered the break room and glared at his team; they were sitting there and looking oh-so-innocent.

"What's up with the scratches? Did you get a cat?" Frank asked.

"No, I had a little fight with the storage closet that's all." Horatio muttered.

"Would that be the same storage closet these cowards hid in that day you were sick?" Frank asked, nodding towards the team.

"That would be same one, yes." Horatio glared at his team members as he said this. He then paused and asked, "How were the cases?"

"Fine." Ryan said.

"Would these be the same crime scenes that Paula had no calls for and that I had no idea existed until you called me?" Horatio asked, "Which you so conveniently did while I was busy trying not to lose my mind?

"No." The team said in unison.

"Our victims were killed with knives by the neighbor." Calleigh said.

She came up with the most amazing details about the case and evidence that she, Eric and Natalia had worked on; it would have sounded so convincing it wasn't for the fact that Horatio was not so easily fooled.

"And how about you and Ryan, Mister Simmons?" Horatio asked and fixed his glare towards the two youngest members of his team.

"Our victim was killed by a magnetized fish." Walter said, trying to sound as cool as Calleigh had with her story.

The team looked at him and Ryan tried not to smack his friend's head.

"Magnetized fish?" Horatio asked.

"Yeah, it was uh... lethal." Walter said, suddenly realizing that he had walked down a path he couldn't turn away from.

"How so?"

"It had um... lethal poison in its blood and when the victim caught one and killed it, it uh... killed him as he ate it." Walter said.

"And the fish is called?" Horatio asked.

"Oh uh... Swimilarius fiscecarnitacus." Walter said it with such ease that the team was a bit shocked.

"I've never heard of such a fish." Horatio said.

"Neither had the fish expert we called." Ryan said.

"Huh." Horatio said.

He knew the team was playing with him; the only problem was that he had very little proof for it. The tape recorders had no evidence on it; no fingerprints or DNA, (Horatio had processed them during lunch).

"Well, it's late and I've had one hell of a day." Horatio sighed, "Good night."

He left and the team burst out laughing. They knew that Horatio had figured them out hours ago, but that hadn't stopped them from pretending not to know what was going on.

Finally at home Horatio went straight to bed. He had scratches all over his face from the brooms, bruises from various cleaning machines and soap in his nose.

Lying in his bed he had to admit that his team had been smart; and he had to give them credit for getting a good payback for his prank. If he ever heard that song again he would kill someone.

So, earlier than usual the redhead fell asleep. And while he was asleep, two people used an extra key to sneak into his house, change the alarm and time on his clock on the nightstant. Then leave just as quietly as they had entered.

-I-

Oh, I'm a Gummy Bear
Yes, I'm a Gummy Bear!
Oh, I'm a Yummy, Chummy, Funny, Lucky Gummy Bear

Horatio flew out of bed and growled when he heard the noise coming from his alarm clock. And not only that, when Horatio locked at his wristwatch and then his other clock he saw that someone had turned it back two hours so he was late for work!

He turned the alarm off and hurried to put on some clothes, while brushing his teeth and skipping breakfast. He must have broken many traffic violations to get to work and when he finally got there he was not a happy man.

The team visibly jumped when he pushed open the door to the break room and then slammed it shut behind him. They said nothing as their boss grabbed a cup of coffee and glared at them.

"Someone changed the time on my alarm clock and the alarm tone." Horatio said, "If I hear that gummy bear song again I will put all of you on dumpster duty for the rest of the year and shave off your hair in your sleep. Understood?"

The team members nodded and then Calleigh patted Horatio's arm before handing him a candy box.

"This is for you, as a token of our love and friendship." Calleigh smiled, "It's a special kind of candy."

The team suddenly all stood up and hurried to leave the room. Horatio frowned and pulled the ribbon off the box. He smiled as he held the candy box and then opened it.

"Gummy bears!"