SquidgeWorld Archive

A Chance to Explain

By GCS

DISCLAIMER: "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. and Universal Studios. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction. This story is only written for entertainment. No financial gain is being realized from it. The story, itself, is the property of the author.

Thump, thump…thump, thump.

He wasn't sure if he was hearing his feet as they impacted with the hard ground beneath his sneakers or the echo of his racing heart inside his head.

Thump, thump…thump, thump.

He could feel the crunching of the leaves and twigs under his running feet; hear his own breaths as he sucked air in through his nose and exhaled it out his mouth.

Beads of sweat traced a path down the sides of his face and dripped onto his neck pooling in the shallow recess below his collarbone.

Thump, thump.

He'd started out walking on the path admiring the beauty of the budding trees and fresh grass sprouting along the forest floor. Spring wild flowers bloomed in the shade of the canopy of limbs that crisscrossed above his head. A gentle breeze ruffled his hair and he quickened his pace. Walking faster, then jogging and finally running.

Thump, thump.

The scenery around became a blur as he raced along the uneven path just as the thoughts raced through his mind in a blur.

'How could I have been so stupid?'

Thump, thump.

Roy slammed down the phone and stormed out the back door of the station.

He followed his friend. "Roy?" Walking over he watched as Roy leaned heavily against the bed of his truck staring at…nothing, his mouth in a thin line, the taut muscles in his jaw showed that he was obviously gritting his teeth with anger. "What's the matter? Is everything all right?"

They had just gotten off shift and had planned to stop for breakfast before going home. Joanne's call had barely reached them before they left.

"Desoto," Hank called from his office.

"Yeah Cap?"

"Phone."

"I'll be right back, Junior."

"Take your time Roy. No hurry." Johnny followed Roy into the day room and leaned against the doorframe waiting.

"Chris got into a fight in school," Roy blew at him walking by.

"Wait, where you headed?"

Roy looked over at Johnny and blew out a long breath. "Home. Joanne had to go pick Chris up. Wait until I get my hands on him. I thought I had taught him better. What was he thinking? First he lets his grades slip, then he says he wants to quit scouts and now this!"

"Roy," Johnny paused wanting to be sure he got the words together correctly. "Give him a chance to explain. Maybe there's something going on that's you're not aware of."

"What?" Roy spun around and glared at him. "Are you trying to tell me I don't know my own son?"

Johnny continued nervously, "I..he…uh…I'm just saying that maybe..maybe something happened…"

"You don't have any idea what you're talking about Gage. You don't have children. Just stay out of it." He grabbed the handle to the truck door and jerked it open with too much force.

Johnny put his hand out to stop the door as it swung toward him. "Give him a chance, Roy."

"Back off. This is not your business."

He raised his hands off the truck and backed away as Roy pulled out a little too quickly almost knocking him down.

He felt the hairs rise on the back of his neck. His hands fell to the side and he stared off in the distance for he didn't know how long. 'None of my business? It sure seems to be my business when it fits your schedule.' Anger raced through him at the way Roy had reacted. 'Not this time partner. I won't be waiting around for you when you find out he had good reason. No sir.' His hands balled into fists, he took shallow breaths, trying to calm himself. Glancing up he noticed Captain Stanley watching the exchange from the bay door. He pulled his sunglasses out of his shirt pocket and slipped them into place. He sauntered over to the Rover, stopping only long enough to dig in his pocket for his keys and slid behind the wheel, revved the engine and pulled away.

Thump, thump…crunch.

He felt the root under his foot as it gave way from the pressure of his weight. Then he saw the world around him tilt as he lost his balance. Reaching down and correcting with his next step he was able to regain his footing just as his finger tips brushed against the loose dirt and twigs on the path. He slowed momentarily before resuming his race through the woods.

"You're my best friend Johnny. I trust you with my kids."

He remembered Roy saying when he'd offered to watch Chris and Jenny while Roy took Joanne to dinner for their anniversary.

"I know we haven't been partners very long, but I just…well I know you'll be good with them."

Now a few short months later after being made to feel like part of the family, a trusted friend, an uncle, he's told that they are none of his business.

Thump, thump.

'Well, I never needed family before. Why should now be any different?'

He ran faster.

Sweat now poured down his back. Branches slapped against his arms and face leaving stinging sensations in their wake.

'Why did I think this would be any different? Why did I let my guard down again? I should have known better. I don't have children, but I know…I know fighting is wrong, but sometimes when you are protecting someone, defending someone, you have no choice.

The biggest of the three boys pushed the dark haired girl and she fell. "Fine, who would want to kiss an ugly Indian anyway?" He spat at her.

"Leave her alone!" Johnny put himself between the three boys and his cousin.

"Oh, look now. Here comes the little half-breed. What do you want, Gage?"

He stood tall, face to face with the one who had spat at his cousin. "Don't touch her again." Then, he felt the punch to his gut. Something in him snapped, and he fought the three bullies with all he had until the teachers broke up the fight. He had gotten the worst of it, but there had been three of them. He put up a good effort giving black eyes, a bloody nose, and sore ribs.

His uncle hadn't given him a chance to explain before taking him behind the woodshed. "I'll teach you to fight boy." By the time he was finished Johnny had several broken ribs, two black eyes, and a loose tooth. He didn't know which he got from the bullies and which from the beating he got after. It wasn't until weeks later that his cousin had told her father what had really happened. How Johnny had been defending her honor, but by then the wheels were in motion. Arrangements had already been made to send him away from the reservation to live with another relative in California. They no longer wanted him in their home.

Since his parents had died in a house fire when he was twelve Johnny had been shuffled from relative to relative. He was an outcast. His mother had been a white woman and being only half Indian made him unaccepted among the people on the reservation. His father full blooded Indian made him unaccepted in town and at school among the whites. His father's sister in California agreed to take him in, and that's when things changed for him.

"Give him a chance." Johnny whispered breathlessly as he ran.

Thump, thump.

He tripped, only this time he couldn't regain his balance. He tumbled and rolled down an embankment. He felt the fabric of his jeans tear along with the skin on his knee when it skidded against the jagged rocks as he came to rest. He lay, panting, in the grass and leaves that clung to his wet skin and tangled in his hair. The treetops spun slowly above him as his body calmed from his tumble. He could feel the warm sticky fluid leaking from his knee and running down the side of his leg.

After a few minutes, he started moving his arms and legs testing them for serious injury. When his self-examination was finished and his breathing slowed to a more normal rate he sat up and eased himself to his feet. He looked up the hill he'd just rolled down and then the rest of the way to the bottom trying to decide which way to go. A little further below he could see another trail. 'Down would be easier.' He set out down the hill.

'I have to get out.' He turned from side to side.

All he could see was thick black smoke and crackling flames tracking up the walls and across the ceiling. Fear gripped at him. He couldn't feel anything through the heavy turnout gear and gloves, except the heat. Sweat poured down his back and soaked his hair beneath his protective helmet. 'I can't let fear control me. I have to control it. I have to trust my equipment. I have to trust my training.'

He felt for the wall and crawled forward searching for an opening. Then his hand found space. Reaching into the space he didn't feel the floor. 'The stairs.' He pulled up to his feet and gradually started down the stairs.

Suddenly he felt the stairs crumble beneath his feet, and he tumbled down landing in a heap at the base. He gasped for breath feeling claustrophobic in his SCBA mask. He couldn't seem to get his breathing under control. 'I'm gonna die today.' Feeling defeated he laid his head down and squeezed his eyes shut.

Drenched in sweat and confused his ears buzzing and his head throbbing, he gave in to his fears and crazy thoughts. He imagined his childhood dog pulling at his arm wanting to play.

"Johnny? Can you hear me?"

'Dogs don't talk.' He cracked open his eyes and saw blue eyes looking back at him through the facemask directly in front of his. "Are you hurt? We need to get out of here." Roy had come back for him.

"I'm okay." Roy reached out and hauled him to his feet and together they ran from the burning structure.

Thoughts continued racing through his mind as he found his way partly stumbling, partly walking to the path below.

'I thought we were a team, Roy. I thought you trusted me. Please give Chris a chance.'

Once on the path he looked up to the sky. Measuring the angle of the sun, he determined the direction he needed to go in to get back to the Rover. He had no idea how far he had run or how long it would take to get back.

He walked slowly, listening to the sounds of the forest. The wind rustled the leaves across the path. Birds chirped from nests high in the treetops. A bee buzzed lazily around his ear. He could smell the dampness under the shadow of the thick branches that blocked the heat from the sun's rays. The peacefulness and natural beauty drew him to places like this. Places where he felt accepted. Places where he didn't have to fit in.

Here he was just another part of nature.

The path he tumbled down to was longer than the one that cut through the hills. It took hours for Johnny to make his way back to the Rover. By that time, his knee screamed with every step. His mouth felt parched from his lack of water, and his bruised shoulders and back from the tumble down the hill made him a very weary man.

Before climbing behind the wheel he rummaged in the back for the cooler he had back there from his previous weekend's camping trip. Hopefully he had left the jug of water in it. It would be warm after having been locked up in the car for a couple of days, but it would be wet.

He lifted the warm jug to his lips and took some water into his mouth, swished it around and spit it out. Now that his mouth tasted less of the dust and grime from the trail, he took a small drink and swallowed. After several more small drinks, he poured some over the cut on his knee. Not wanting to waste time bandaging the knee right now he decided to wait until he could get home and into a hot shower.

"Still no answer?" Joanne asked Roy as he returned the phone to the cradle on the kitchen wall.

"No." He turned and walked slowly to the kitchen table pulled out a chair and sat down folding his hands on the Formica surface.

"Maybe he's just running errands. I'm sure he'll be home soon. You can try again later." Joanne continued assembling the lasagna she worked on preparing for dinner.

"I guess." He shrugged. He suspected he knew exactly why Johnny wasn't answering. 'He's not answering because I screwed up this morning.'

Noticing the way Roy's shoulders drooped and the worried crease that crossed his forehead, Joanne decided it was time to find out what was going on between her husband and his best friend. Something must have happened to make him so distracted by the lack of response on the other end of the many calls he'd made to Johnny's apartment since they had finished talking with Chris. "Why are you so worried about Johnny?" Joanne knew it had been a difficult day for Roy. It had been for her too. Chris had been sent to his room to think about his actions. They understood now why he had been acting out, but he still needed to understand why fighting was wrong.

Roy rung his hands and sighed deeply before answering. "I said some things this morning Jo. Things I didn't mean. Things he didn't deserve. He's become part of this family, and I treated him like he…"

"Like he what Roy?" She stopped working on dinner and sat down beside her husband placing her hand on his arm.

He was quiet for a long time. 'Like what? Like he was out of line for trying to make me give our son a chance to explain his actions, like he was an outsider; like he wasn't my best friend. That's just it. He is my best friend.' He hadn't realized that until just now. John Gage had become so much more than just his partner at work. Johnny was his best friend, and thanks to the way he acted and things he said that friendship was probably over. "Like, he had no business interfering with my family."

"Oh Roy, you didn't." Joanne put her hand over her mouth.

"I have to find him Jo. The way I treated him was no better than the way Chris behaved this morning." He pushed his chair back and pulled his keys out of his jeans pocket. "I'm gonna go over to his apartment and see if he's there."

Joanne understood now why Roy was so worried. 'Johnny was so shy that first time he came to dinner. He seemed tense and unsure of why he had even been invited, almost as if he thought Roy had asked him out of duty instead of the desire to be his friend. Then when the kids took to him so readily, when he'd finally relaxed and seemed to enjoy himself, he'd stayed late into the evening. He and Roy shared coffee on the deck while I put the kids to bed. Jennifer had even kissed him goodnight. Then on his second visit Jennifer started calling him Uncle Johnny. Chris had joined her in the familiar name by the end of that day. Johnny seemed to take to the kids as much as they have him. He's now such an important part of our family, always supportive, always ready to lend a helping hand, and always appreciative to be invited to spend time here in our home.' "Roy, if he is you bring him home with you. You make sure he listens to you and you bring him here." She stood, placed her hands on his arms, and looked him square in the eyes to make sure he understood her. "You'll work this out. He's too important to us. You make him believe that."

He broke eye contact with his wife and looked at the keys in his hand. "I will."

Johnny pulled his Rover into the apartment lot and slipped it into his usual parking spot. He crossed his hands on the top of the steering wheel and laid his head down for just a minute before getting out. The drive home had made his knee stiff. He ached all over, and he hadn't eaten since dinner last night. Feeling like he might be too weak to make it up the flight of stairs to his second floor apartment, he just wanted to rest a minute, gather his strength.

Roy saw the Rover turn in as he was coming back down the stairs. He hesitated at the bottom step waiting for Johnny to get out of the Rover. When he didn't Roy immediately thought that Johnny had seen him and wasn't happy to find him there. He watched as Johnny crossed his arms and leaned his head on them. 'He must be really angry with me, and I don't blame him.' He sighed.

Then he watched Johnny ease himself out of the Rover. The first thing he noticed was the stiff way his friend moved. His paramedic eye traveled down to the torn bloody jeans and the limping. He stepped forward to offer his assistance.

Johnny saw Roy coming toward him from the stairs. 'Oh man not now. What does he want? Guess he came to finish what he started this morning. I'm too tired for this.' He raised his hand. "Not now Roy. I'm not in the mood."

"You're hurt." Roy came up beside Johnny and reached for his arm. "At least let me help you upstairs."

Instead of the angry man he thought he would see, Johnny saw the stress lines around Roy's eyes. He noticed the disheveled hair. and that look he always got in his eyes when he was concerned about something. 'When he's concerned about me,' Johnny thought to himself. He was too tired to resist. He hung his arm over Roy's shoulder, and together they slowly manipulated the climb to the second floor. Johnny swayed against Roy once they turned from the top step toward the door to his apartment. Roy tightened his grip. Johnny knew he might be suffering from dehydration. He felt light headed, like his knees were going to buckle beneath him. "Roy…uh…" He held the keys out to him.

"Okay Junior, let's get you inside." He took the keys knowing without explanation that Johnny needed him to open the door. 'Skin's dry, too dry and hot. He's weak..sluggish.'

"Don't call me that." Johnny grumbled.

Roy flinched at the complaint. He hoped he hadn't lost his friend over his actions. "Johnny, I know this morning…"

Johnny cut him off. "Not now. I can't do this right now." His hand went to his head. The room had begun a slow spin. He pulled away from Roy and stumbled to the couch, and sat down putting his head down between his knees. "I don't feel so good." He whispered into his hands.

'Nauseous, light headed, where have you been today and what the hell happened to you?' Roy turned to the kitchen to see if Johnny had any juice. He recognized the signs of dehydration and not knowing how Johnny had cut his knee had him worried. He pulled a carton from the small refrigerator and checked the date. It was still good. He poured a glass and hurried back to Johnny. "Here drink this."

Johnny took the proffered glass and sipped.

"What happened to your knee?" Roy asked as he bent down and reached for the torn fabric to have a look.

Johnny pushed his hands away. "I can do it. I don't want to put you out or anything." He still felt unsure about the situation between he and Roy or exactly why he was here now.

Roy sat back on his heels. "I guess I deserve that."

Johnny looked up with sad eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Roy. He knew he'd been hurt this morning, but he was used to it. Since his parent's death he had been hurt many times both physically and mentally, but he'd never told anyone about that. Roy was a good man, the best. He had been worried about his son. Johnny had wished many times that his parents had lived to care for him, but that hadn't been.

"You were right." Roy rose from his crouched position and stood in front of Johnny. 'You were right about everything. If I had just listened to you this morning, we could have gone to breakfast like we planned. I wouldn't have yelled at my son before listening to him, and you wouldn't be sitting here right now dehydrated and obviously injured. I'm an idiot.'

He looked up and squinted when the overhead light hit his eyes. "What?" He thought he hadn't heard right.

"What you said this morning about Chris. Some kids at school, that were also in his scout troupe, had been picking on Jenny. Chris got upset and tried to defend her. They were bigger than him, and at first he thought if he quit scouts it would all just go away. Then they started it at school. He got into a fight with them when they started calling her names. They made her cry." Roy looked at his friend trying to gauge his reaction.

Johnny leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes.

Noticing how pale Johnny looked Roy nudged his arm. "You need to drink that." He prodded him to finish the juice. "Have you eaten anything today?"

Johnny opened one eye and nodded.

Roy's shoulders slumped. This was his fault. "I'm sorry Johnny. I'm really sorry."

"Help me up." Johnny sat forward on the couch. He felt better after the juice and desperately wanted to shower.

"Where do you think you're going?" There was a tinge of panic in Roy's voice. 'Is he going to throw me out now?'

"I'm going to take a shower." Johnny glared at Roy. "If you'll help me up." He held out his hand. Roy took it and hoisted him to a standing position. "Thanks, I'll be right back." He limped down the hall. "There should be a beer in the fridge."

Roy felt the tension leave his body. 'He didn't ask me to leave.'

He'd been offered a beer. He knew Johnny never could stay angry at anyone for long. He was the most forgiving person he knew. By offering him a beer Johnny had invited him to stay. A relieved smile crossed his face.

When Johnny came back down the hall with a towel around his thin waist and another one on his shoulders catching the water that dripped from his wet hair he was carrying a first aide kit he kept in his closet. He limped over to his recliner and sat down lifting his legs with the footrest. Once he was settled he looked to Roy who sat on the couch sipping his beer. "Well?"

"Well what?" Roy asked innocently.

"Well Mr. Paramedic…medic me." He leaned back and waited.

Roy chuckled at Johnny's antics as he took the kit, found the antibiotic cream and began dressing the wound. "I don't think you need any stitches this time."

"I know that."

"Well are you going to tell me what happened to you?" Roy looked at the bruises and the scratches on Johnny's arms.

"I was running, fell down."

"Must have been quite a fall."

Johnny huffed a laugh. "Well rolled down is more like it."

"Rolled down what?" Roy knew there was more to the story.

"Doesn't matter. I'm okay now." He sighed.

Roy left it alone. Johnny would tell him later…if he wanted to. He taped the gauze in place and stood.

"Joanne said I couldn't come home for dinner unless Uncle Johnny came with me."

Johnny looked up at Roy. "She did not."

"Well not in those words, but yeah she did. She's making lasagna." He smiled knowing it was one of Johnny's favorite meals.

"I'm kinda tired and sore. I think maybe I'll just stay here. Get some rest." Johnny looked away.

Recognizing the unsure posture Roy tried a new tactic. "You can just bring a bag and stay the night. The kids will love that."

"I don't' know Roy. I don't want to intrude."

Roy felt his own insecurity creep back in. Not normally one to share his feelings with anyone the words just spilled out. "I was wrong Johnny. The things I said. I was wrong. It is your business. You are important to us. You have become part of our family. My kids think of you as their uncle. Nothing will ever change that. Besides like I told you …you were right. Once I gave Chris a chance to explain everything made sense."

Knowing it was hard for Roy to share his feelings, and recognizing the sincerity in his words, Johnny decided to try to set things right between them. "So he's not in trouble?"

"Oh he's still in trouble for fighting and for not coming to us for help when things started going wrong, but he's not in big trouble." Roy smiled.

"He just needed a chance to explain, Roy. Things are not always what they seem." Johnny pushed the handle to the footrest down and moved to stand up. He noticed the relieved look on Roy's face. His eyes looked brighter than they had since he'd met him in the parking lot. "Thanks Roy, for telling me."

"So should I call Joanne and tell her we're on the way home?" Roy looked expectantly at Johnny.

"Lasagna?"

"Yep."

"Okay."

Roy reached over and gripped Johnny's shoulder. "Friends?"

"Friends." Johnny smiled. "Always Pally."