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Kendall knew that Jack didn't have any reason to hear him out but he needed to give it a shot. He knocked on Jack's door but there was no answer. He knew Jack was home. "Jack," he called. "We need to talk."
Jack had no desire to speak to Kendall but also knew that Kendall wouldn't just go away. He opened the door and gave his best icy stare. "What do you want?"
"First off, can I come in?"
Jack stepped to the side. He might as well get this over with. "Very well."
Kendall walked in. "It's been a long time," he said conversationally, trying to start off on neutral ground.
Jack shut the door and decided to get right to the heart of their conversation. "A year and a half. As I recall, our last conversation was a fight over my plans to contact Irina."
Kendall's gut twisted when he thought about Jack in solitary confinement for a year, but there was nothing that he could have done. Lindsey was out to get Jack and his hands were tied. "I warned you not to do it."
"What was I supposed to do?" Jack demanded bitterly. "I knew that Sydney was alive and I needed someone who I could trust."
"You can't trust Irina."
Jack's eyes narrowed. He never should have let Kendall get close to him in the first place. All it caused him was pain. "And I can't trust you either."
Kendall grunted. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell Jack that Sydney was alive after he found out. "I couldn't tell you that Sydney was alive, Jack. The integrity of our operation depended on secrecy. She had to be Julia Thorne for us and I had to keep you in the dark. I'm sorry that it was necessary."
The CIA agent part of Jack understood that. The father part didn't and only knew that his lover had known that his daughter was alive and kept it from him. "I think you've said all that you need to. Now, I would appreciate it if you leave."
Kendall couldn't just leave like that. Seeing Jack stirred all those old memories, ones that he would be better off forgetting but that he couldn't. He groped for the right words. "Jack, I..."
Jack folded his arms across his chest. He kept his ice cold demeanor. "What?"
Kendall gave up on words. He pounced on Jack, shoving Jack into the wall and kissing him hard. His tongue surged past Jack's lips, ravaging the inside of Jack's mouth.
Jack couldn't help but return the kiss but it was wrong and he knew it. Loving Kendall made him vulnerable and that was something he couldn't afford. But it felt so good, like it had before Sydney's disappearance.
"I've missed you," Kendall managed in between kisses along Jack's jaw.
Jack missed Kendall, too, but that wasn't enough. He pushed Kendall away but kept his hands on Kendall's shoulders. "No, I can't do this again."
"Can't we try to pick up the pieces?"
Jack shook his head. "No because I can't trust you."
Kendall's eyes bored into Jack. "I didn't have a choice. I had to lie to you but that doesn't change my feelings."
Jack steadily met Kendall's gaze. "I had a lot of time to think about you when I was in solitary and I will admit that I've missed you. However, what we had is in the past. I suggest we allow it to stay there." He opened the door. "Goodbye."
Kendall could tell from Jack's eyes that Jack wasn't going to budge. He patted Jack's shoulder and then stepped into the hall. ?Goodbye."
Jack shut the door and leaned against it. He shut his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck. Dismissing Kendall was hard but necessary and he had no choice but to live with it.
Kendall stared at the physical barrier between him and Jack for a good ten minutes. He thought about knocking again but Jack wouldn't be any more receptive. Maybe there was a way that he could earn Jack's trust again. If he was patient enough, an opportunity should present itself. At least that's what he hoped. "We're not quite finished yet, Jack."
The End...maybe