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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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1,490
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1/1
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24
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Blown Away

Summary:

When Horatio saw Ryan injured after the tornado, he knew he that he couldn't keep lying to himself anymore. SLASH- spoilers for episode 3, season 10.

Work Text:

Horatio knew he had to make himself appear calmer than he really was to Eric and Walter. He couldn't let them see the worry he really felt about Ryan. The young man was so much more than a team member for him. He was someone that Horatio had fallen in love with. Though he tried with every fiber in his body to deny it. He, Horatio Caine, was a widower and straight… at least he had always been straight. But the feelings he had for Ryan was more than just as a friend or a member of the team.

When they finally found Ryan Horatio had to stop himself from showing the young man and his friends just how happy he was. Sure, he was extremely happy that Ryan was alive, but it would look very weird if Horatio suddenly started telling Ryan how good it felt to see his face and feel his pulse. How good it felt to know that Ryan would be okay. He couldn't do that.

Horatio Caine was a man in constant control of his feelings and actions; he couldn't suddenly blurt out his love for the younger man.

Love… love was a funny thing. Never before had Horatio felt love towards another man; not what went beyond love for a family member like he did with Eric. Eric was like a brother to him and one of his best friends; they were family. Ryan was different. The love he felt for Ryan made Horatio go weak at the knees, his heart speed up and his brain screaming at him to just kiss him and take him to his bed.

His erotic dreams of Ryan had started after the lab had been attacked by Starling and Jesse had died. Yet, Horatio felt so guilty for falling in love with the younger man when he still loved Marisol. Eric would probably hate him if he ever found out that Horatio was in love with Ryan. He would probably feel that Horatio betrayed Marisol by loving someone else.

Horatio and Eric waited in the hospital for any news on Ryan's condition. When the doctor entered the waiting are he told them that besides some minor injuries Ryan would be fine. He was also awake and asking to see Horatio.

"What are you waiting for?" Eric asked when Horatio hadn't moved from his spot in five minutes.

The doctor had even had time to leave and Eric had been calling his boss's name for several minutes. Horatio blinked and looked confuse at his brother-in-law.

"What?" He asked.

"What are you waiting for? Go see Ryan." Eric said.

"He asked to see me?"

"Yes." Eric chuckled at Horatio's sudden confused state of mind.

Horatio looked at the floor and sighed. He couldn't look at Ryan while he was in a hospital bed. He wasn't sure if he had enough control of his emotions to do it. Seeing Ryan on the car after almost getting killed by a tornado had been hell for Horatio. He couldn't lose Ryan and being close to Horatio was a death mark. He had already lost Marisol so maybe it was better if he didn't see Ryan. That way he couldn't risk exposing his feelings to the younger man and thus risk his life. Besides, Ryan was probably straight and it would be incredibly awkward if he found out that his boss was madly in love with him.

"H?" Eric asked and put a hand on his friend's shoulder.

Horatio was startled and looked at Eric.

"Go see him." Eric said.

Horatio took a deep breath and nodded.

"What room does he have?" He asked.

"522." Eric said.

Horatio nodded and started walking down the hallway to Ryan's room. His heart started beating really fast in his chest now and his hands were sweating. Eric calling his name made him turn around.

"And don't lie yourself anymore. Tell him the truth." Eric smirked.

"What truth?" Horatio asked shocked.

"You know what I'm talking about H. He's crazy about you too." Eric smiled and walked away.

Horatio was stunned and he watched Eric get into the elevator with a huge smile. Did everyone already know? Had they figured it out? If Ryan knew then maybe Horatio had a chance?

Horatio walked to Ryan's room and opened the door. The younger man looked quite haggard, but he smiled when he saw Horatio. The redhead closed the door behind him and sat down on the guest chair.

"What a way to start the day." Ryan said, "Walter saved me."

"What happened, Mr. Wolfe?" Horatio said and noticed the small wince when he called Ryan Mister Wolfe.

At first he had called him that to create a distance between them in case something happened; like one of them dying; he hoped that with a distance between them it would be less painful. Then he had wanted to create a distance between them because being close to Ryan was difficult. Every time he saw him Horatio wanted to kiss him, pounce into his body and show him love. Explaining to the team why their boss was kissing their co-worker in the middle of the lab would have been awkward. So it was for the best that Ryan continued to be called Mister Wolfe.

As Ryan told Horatio what had happened and how Walter had tried to save him and had actually done so, by holding on the line so that Ryan didn't get taken by the tornado right away, Horatio knew he would make sure Walter got the praise he deserved.

"I can't wait to get out of here so I can thank him." Ryan groaned and shifted in his bed.

"I'm sure he will be modest and tell you he didn't actually do anything to help." Horatio smiled.

"Yeah, that would be Walter in a nutshell." Ryan chuckled.

"Well, Mister Wolfe, I am glad that you're feeling better and I shall be going to get back to the lab." Horatio said politely and stood up.

"Walter is not the only one who is modest, is he?"

"I guess not." Horatio said confused.

"He's not the only who denies himself things he deserves either."

"No… he is not. Who else are we talking about now?" Horatio asked.

"You." Ryan said and sat up in the bed, "You're denying yourself love even though you deserve it after everything you've been through. You are too shy to take a step and open up your heart to someone else."

"What are you talking about?"

"Everyone sees it Horatio. Even me." Ryan smiled, "When I was lying there on the car today after being blown away by the tornado, I decided that I wasn't going to let you continue being alone when you so obviously have someone you want to share your life with."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Horatio said timidly.

"I decided that today was the day I would tell Horatio Caine the truth about my feelings." Ryan smiled, "That I have fallen for you as much as you have fallen for me. And don't deny it, H."

"Alright, I won't." Horatio said, deciding to take a chance and admit the truth to Ryan and himself.

"Good, because Kyle can be quite scary when he's trying to persuade you to take a risk; or as he put it, take a step towards happiness." Ryan chuckled.

"Kyle?"

"Yeah, he's been telling me to tell you the truth for a while now." Ryan said, "Said he was tired of seeing us both miserable and alone. We both love each other so why not just confess it? He threatened to put posters on every tree in Miami with the words Ryan and Horatio equals true love."

Horatio was shocked. Kyle knew about his feelings too? Was he really that bad at hiding his how he felt? More importantly though, Ryan loved him back. Ryan Wolfe was in love with him. It couldn't be.

"Why love me?" Horatio asked.

"Why not? You're sexy, smart and from what I've heard a good cook as well." Ryan grinned.

Horatio blushed and Ryan chuckled.

"I think the pain killers are starting to work now." Ryan yawned, "We can talk about this later today, right?"

"Yes." Horatio smiled; a genuine smile that Ryan hadn't seen in a long time.

"Good." Ryan said, "And Horatio?"

"Yeah?"

"No more Mister Wolfe, right? I know you're only calling me that to hide your feelings."

"No more Mister Wolfe… Ryan." Horatio smiled, "Get some rest."

"I will." Ryan grinned and closed his eyes.

Horatio exited the room and felt like he was walking on clouds. He should have confessed a long time ago. He no longer hated the tornado; it had brought something good out of it.

All Horatio had to do know was to have a talk with his son about threatening Ryan with posters on every tree in Miami. Although, without Kyle and the tornado he and Ryan would still be lonely and miserable.

Sometimes disasters made good things happen too.